S5. Ep 18. Two Gays and the Finger Challenge

Can you guess how many fingers Benji and Brad will take today? Well, you can also get involved as the boys put a cheeky twist on the classic 'Drop a Finger' game in their recent episode of My Big Gay Podcast! Ever wondered what it's like to date older men within the LGBTQ+ community? Or the complexities that come with 'straight' profiles popping up on Grindr? Well this week, Benji and Brad spill the tea on their personal sexual experiences, from filmed sex to intergenerational hook-ups.  Join the boys as they  connect with you, the sexy listeners, through social media and answering all those burning finger challenge questions you've sent their way. So pull up a chair, grab a drink, and join Benji and Brad in the My Big Gay Finger Challenge! 

Chapters

• 0:19 Big Gay Podcast
• 7:20 Finger Game
• 14:41 Discussion on Personal Sexual Experiences
• 26:43 Sexual Experiences and LGBTQ+ Issues
• 36:23 BBC Radio London's Big Gay Podcast

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:19

Hello and welcome to this week's episode of my Big Gay Podcast with me, benji.

Speaker 1 0:24

And me, brad, giving you the life, the loves and lo-os of living in London, two gays one city.

Speaker 2 0:31

what could possibly go wrong? Okay, so last week you, Benji, turn your phone off. Sorry. Oh my gosh, you will actually never believe who this message is from.

Speaker 1 0:42

Not an ex.

Speaker 2 0:43

No Worse, it depends actually when I open it if I find out or not.

Speaker 1 0:50

The bills company. You're overdue.

Speaker 2 0:52

How dare you? No, it's actually from the clinic.

Speaker 1 0:59

Got your results through hun.

Speaker 2 1:01

Shall I read them now.

Speaker 1 1:02

Yeah, go on. Although this could go horribly wrong, it could go horribly wrong.

Speaker 2 1:07

I know that we're still recording. You've got to log in. This is a very strict website. Okay, here we go. Click for results.

Speaker 1 1:16

Get your results. Oh my god, I'm nervous for you.

Speaker 2 1:20

Well, no need to be nervous, honey, they're all negative flying colours. Gosh, that's a relief. I'm actually sweating a little bit from reading that.

Speaker 1 1:30

Oh my goodness. Well great news that they're all negative. That's good to know.

Speaker 2 1:33

Yeah, chlamydia negative, gonorrhea negative.

Speaker 1 1:36

Attitude negative.

Speaker 2 1:38

Bank balance negative. Oh, at least we can joke about it.

Speaker 1 1:46

Well, you have got one positive in your life.

Speaker 2 1:48

Is it you?

Speaker 1 1:49

I'm your podcast co-host, Positive.

Speaker 2 1:53

Working on it, working on it. Anyway, sti's aside, gosh, that means I can go for that hookup tonight now.

Speaker 3 2:01

STI's aside.

Speaker 2 2:03

I'll let him out of the cupboard in a minute. How are you?

Speaker 1 2:07

I've got the gingos now. No, I'm really really great actually, Would you believe this? I went home, home, back to my little small town where I grew up from.

Speaker 2 2:16

Little town.

Speaker 1 2:18

It's a quiet village it is literally that, a quiet village. But it was my Nan's 99th birthday 99. 99. How amazing is that?

Speaker 2 2:29

I'm very excited. That's actually very impressive.

Speaker 1 2:31

That's so great.

Speaker 2 2:31

Yeah.

Speaker 1 2:32

I mean she is very switched on, she's funny, she's life and self-the-party. We had like a big party for her. Obviously she lives by herself. I'm going to be like that when I'm old.

Speaker 2 2:40

You are old. Can we appreciate that? You were at your Nan's 99th birthday and I was trying to mess with like oh, I hope you're having a good time. And your responses were not. You couldn't read them. You were so hammered.

Speaker 1 2:52

I got really drunk. My Nan's birthday, yeah, my mum was like Did she get drunk? No, I don't think she was even drinking. To be fair, I don't think she was even there. I was at the wrong party.

Speaker 3 3:03

You got the wrong day.

Speaker 1 3:06

No, my mum was like oh my God, you are so loud all the time. I'm like, I know, I know, it's just in my nature.

Speaker 2 3:13

You are loud, especially when you've been drinking.

Speaker 1 3:15

Yeah, I know, but no, it was super fun. Can't believe it at 99. How amazing, and I think it's just right If she makes it to 100, then she gets a letter from the king, right?

Speaker 2 3:25

I suppose it is the king now. Yeah, it would be a bit creepy if it came from the queen, if I'm honest, but yeah, yeah she outlived the queen.

Speaker 1 3:31

She's older than the queen, my Nan. Yeah, that's wild. That is wild. But yeah, I think I'm going to make our bones. Are you going to make our bones, do you reckon?

Speaker 2 3:37

I don't know I haven't really thought sort of beyond this weekend, If I'm honest with you let alone 99. But sure.

Speaker 1 3:47

Just take each day as it comes, and today is all about the negative test results. Well done.

Speaker 2 3:52

I know they always say, don't they Like just find one positive in your day? Well, I've just found six negatives in my day.

Speaker 3 3:57

And I'm very happy about it. So yeah, I think it was six.

Speaker 2 4:00

I didn't really count them all. But, anyway, we don't have time to talk about SDIs and birthdays because we are drum roll Play in a game today.

Speaker 1 4:13

Oh, my goodness, we have not played games with each other for ages. I mean, you play mind games with me every single week. But other than that, it's a brand new game.

Speaker 2 4:22

And you play the game. Benji, I've got you a drink, but I'm not going to tell you what's in it. Kind of game we can ask the hospital in the morning when they run your bloods.

Speaker 1 4:31

Exactly that's the best time a game to play.

Speaker 2 4:35

Pump that stomach, honey. Oh my goodness. Yes, we're playing a game today. Now, if you didn't listen to last week's episode, well, I think you should go and listen to it now, otherwise it might not make any sense. We mentioned that we wanted to play this game that we have seen sort of whipping around the social media world, which is called Drop a Finger. I think is what they're calling it. I may may well have that wrong, but I thought we could change the name to Take a Finger.

Speaker 1 4:56

Now I'm all up for taking a finger, so sign me up.

Speaker 2 4:59

How many fingers do you think you've taken in your lifetime? Probably no more than two, I'd say no, I don't mean at the time I mean in total.

Speaker 1 5:08

I don't know. That's probably TBC on that one.

Speaker 2 5:13

Tbc, all right, well, you have a quick count in the break in a minute and we'll come back with an answer. But yes, what you need to do is you hold up your hands and we're going to read out some questions which actually have come from the listeners. We did put things out on the social media, so all questions have been written in and some of them are brilliant and some of them are very calculated and you're just trying to find some deep and dirty secrets from Brad and myself. But anyway, we read out the question and if you have done that thing, you drop a finger. So we want you to play at home. So grab yourself a drink it's very much a drinking game and then we're going to see sort of your score at the end, with how many fingers you've got left standing.

Speaker 1 5:53

Wow, okay, I need a drink for this. So give me a break. I'll get a drink and we're going to play hard.

Speaker 2 5:58

I would love a break from you. Should we say six months, seven months, please? I keep sending those emails to HR and I'm just getting ignored. Yeah.

Speaker 1 6:07

The contract does not allow that. You are stuck with me. We're basically the aunt and deck of the gay world.

Speaker 2 6:13

Yeah, I feel very much like Kesha. Just let me go, please Get me out of that contract. Get me out. I don't know what I have to do. Get me out.

Speaker 1 6:22

Going to do a Taylor Swift. We record all the episodes, but as solo.

Speaker 2 6:25

Absolutely not Benji's version, just with me, Benji, I just literally mute all your lines. Surely there's an AI app that I can just be like. Can you just really record all of Brad's lines?

Speaker 1 6:36

You probably could do that I could be replaced by AI. That is the scary thing of this world.

Speaker 2 6:40

That is the wonderful thing about technology, is we could replace you with AI.

Speaker 1 6:44

But I tell you what AI could not do. What's that? Take some fingers, which is what we're about to do right now.

Speaker 2 6:48

We are about to do that. So you go, count how many fingers you've taken in your lifetime.

Speaker 3 6:52

I'm going to figure out if there's an AI that can replace you and we will be back after this very short break.

Finger Game

Speaker 2 6:57

Okay, we've all had a little break. Hopefully you've all got a drink at home. Sadly, I could not find any AI to replace Brad, and I'm sure Brad did you manage to figure out how many fingers that you've taken in your lifetime? A gentleman never tells thank you and you can't count higher than 10. So assuming it's probably about 500. Are you ready to play?

Speaker 1 7:21

Okay, I think I'm ready. I just want to recap the rules one more time. Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2 7:26

You are having a damn day, so all you're going to do is you're going to put your 10 fingers up in front of you, right? Yeah, we're going to read a statement each, or a question from listeners. Yeah, if you have done that statement, you're just going to put a finger down.

Speaker 1 7:39

OK, cool Makes sense, I can do that. Yeah, great.

Speaker 2 7:42

And that's what we're calling it Take a finger, take a finger down.

Speaker 1 7:45

Take a finger. Goes down Nice, I'm ready to take a finger.

Speaker 2 7:49

And go down All the above Right. So questions ready, start the music. It's time to play. Take a finger, brad, you can start.

Speaker 1 8:00

All right. Our first listen to question that came through was take a finger if you have a tattoo.

Speaker 2 8:06

OK, ok, starting off quite tame, take a finger if you have flirted with or made a pass at your boss.

Speaker 1 8:15

Oh my goodness, I've had loads of bosses in the past. I need a second to think. Hang on, hang on.

Speaker 2 8:20

You have had so many failed jobs.

Speaker 1 8:24

I reckon you've done this one, you know Right, ok.

Speaker 2 8:27

You're not allowed to guess yet. Ok, all right, you're not allowed to guess yet.

Speaker 1 8:30

All right. Next one Take a finger if you have filmed yourself during sex.

Speaker 2 8:36

OK, also listen, just so you're aware. Brad and I can't see each other's fingers, so we're not actually sure who is dropping fingers to which ones. But we will go through them all at the end, maybe Uh-huh, I'm not sure, ok, next question Take a finger if you've got with your friends. X.

Speaker 1 8:53

Do you know what I think? That's quite scandalous if you've done that.

Speaker 2 8:57

So, so, so scandalous. Ok, there is absolutely no need to start being shady. I see you giving me the eye.

Speaker 1 9:04

I'm staring at you. I'm doing the bridesmaid's. Look at you. Looking at you, lillian, ok, next question.

Speaker 2 9:17

Next question is your turn.

Speaker 1 9:19

OK, take a finger if you've had sex on the beach.

Speaker 2 9:22

Are we talking physical activity on a sandy beach or the drink?

Speaker 1 9:26

Oh, I'm going to say physical activity on a sandy beach. I'm assuming that we both have had the cocktail, yeah.

Speaker 2 9:32

And since I've come from an island, I'm guessing I've done that. I was going to say that.

Speaker 1 9:37

Do you remember that song from the night? I think the night is like I want to have sex on the beach.

Speaker 2 9:41

Yeah, absolutely, it was by Teespoon, I think.

Speaker 1 9:44

Yes, very good memory, I think.

Speaker 2 9:46

Is that your?

Speaker 1 9:47

theme tune every time you go back to back to Jersey.

Speaker 2 9:49

OK, no comment on that but.

Speaker 1 9:52

I do remember when the song came out.

Speaker 2 9:53

I used to play it deliberately just to upset my parents. I was like it's rude, they're talking about sex on a beach.

Speaker 1 9:58

And I'm going to do it every single day when I'm 18.

Speaker 2 10:01

And as soon as I get my legal card, I'm going to get arrested for it. Ok, next question Take a finger if you've slept with a drag queen. Now I'm assuming they mean that is their profession, rather than them in drag, do you think?

Speaker 1 10:15

Yes, yeah, I'm going to go with that. Yes, so if someone is a drag queen as their job and you've had sex, that person, you take that finger. Honey, take it, is that?

Speaker 2 10:22

what you tell everyone. That's what I told you. I think no, I take that finger away. Take that finger away from my face, ok.

Speaker 1 10:32

next question OK, oh my God, take a finger if you've slept with an actual daddy.

Speaker 2 10:42

As in somebody who has a child. Yeah, got it OK.

Speaker 3 10:47

Daddy.

Speaker 2 10:49

OK, interesting. I love how we're trying to be modest with that. Ok, take a finger if you slept with someone whilst their partner is at home, now I assume with this one they mean sleeping with them whilst their partner is in the same building as in, like in the other room.

Speaker 1 11:06

Yeah, I imagine if, like, they're a couple and they're in open relationship and you've come around to have sex with one person while the other one is just in the kitchen making dinner, you know.

Speaker 2 11:14

OK, you made that sound a lot less scandalous than my head.

Speaker 1 11:20

Oh right, yeah, you're thinking proper scandal. I mean it could be that yeah.

Speaker 2 11:23

Well, which one are we going for?

Speaker 1 11:24

See, I'm quite innocent in that. You know I don't agree with all these little things, you see.

Speaker 2 11:28

Can I be honest with you. It doesn't matter which one we do.

Speaker 1 11:31

You're still taking that finger on, you Still taking a finger. I knew you'd have done that one.

Speaker 2 11:38

Oh my goodness, OK, next one.

Speaker 1 11:40

OK, take a finger if you've eaten ass.

Speaker 2 11:43

Oh, is the normal romantic way to place that that?

Speaker 1 11:46

is literally what it says on the comments. This, I think, is testament to what our listeners are like right Filth. That's true.

Speaker 2 11:52

Pure filth, filth. Yeah, I think that could have been a lot more romantically, but anyway, moving on, moving on, ok, final question Take a finger if you've had sex underwater. So I assume that means like the sea is swimming pool, jacuzzi bath. The bath, no, maybe not a bath. Maybe not a bath or a shower, definitely not a shower. Not a shower. You dumbass.

Speaker 1 12:15

Swimming in the shower. Yeah, I think minimum has to be like a jacuzzi hot tub. Got it.

Speaker 2 12:22

OK, all right. Well, that is all 10 questions. I don't know how you've done at home, and I hope we haven't developed too many cracks in your relationship. I'm sure you have lots of questions to answer each other, but the main thing I want to know is, brad, how many fingers do you have left standing?

Speaker 1 12:38

I actually have seven fingers up. Did you play this right? Yeah, so I took my finger down three times. I've done three out of those 10 things right.

Speaker 2 12:49

Wow OK.

Speaker 1 12:52

I'm a bit more tame than you, I think. How many fingers have you taken?

Speaker 2 12:55

I don't know if I want to play this game anymore.

Speaker 1 13:00

Oh my God, you've got two fists, haven't you? You've done it all.

Speaker 2 13:02

No, no, no, I haven't. I haven't got two fists, that's not. You know, throw out nasty, vicious lies and rumors, but I'm not sure if I want to tell you how many fingers I have left.

Speaker 1 13:13

But OK. So I knew, even playing this game, that you probably would have done more than me, but I don't know quite to what extent. So come on, you like to tell me that you're this, you know sexually active, cheeky chappy.

Speaker 2 13:25

I'm not sure if it is that I like to tell you. We just talk about, you know, open and honest, fun lives in London.

Speaker 1 13:34

OK to tell us all about your open and honest fun life in London. How many fingers have you got left up?

Speaker 2 13:40

I have two fingers left up.

Speaker 1 13:47

You've done eight out of 10 of those things.

Speaker 2 13:50

I don't know if I want this to be the narrative of this episode.

Speaker 1 13:53

Oh, my God Benji.

Speaker 2 13:56

Listen, I don't actually think they're that bad. Some of them, ok, some of them, I mean we can go through them. I mean I'm going to try. I'm going to try and guess which of the three you have done. Ok, yeah, ok, so I'm going to guess you dropped your finger on. I can't even say it. I'm really sorry. You have had a peach dessert. You have had a peach dessert.

Speaker 1 14:17

Definitely have had a peach dessert. Ok, I'm a partial to a bit of peach.

Speaker 2 14:21

I'm going to say you also. Oh gosh, it's actually quite difficult. I really want to say filmed sex, but I also know that you're really against like nudes and stuff, so I thought that'd be quite contradictory.

Speaker 1 14:32

But hang on. Going back on the eating the peach, yeah, you've also eaten the peach as well, right? So that's a mutual.

Discussion on Personal Sexual Experiences

Speaker 2 14:37

Yeah, I thought we'd work when I've done that, I felt safe with that ground. To be honest, I felt very at home with that sort of question. Ok, so I'm going to go for filmed sex.

Speaker 1 14:47

No, I actually haven't for that reason. They just make me too nervous. Too nervous, Because what if? Then I say you'll have a relationship with someone and you as your boyfriend, and then you break up? They're going to have all those videos of you. Be too nervous. I don't even say that out of nudes.

Speaker 2 15:03

And that's why I was like I don't know if he would have done. But then I just felt, as a recent event, maybe, maybe you had OK, so I bet you've done that.

Speaker 1 15:12

I had a feeling you have done that.

Speaker 2 15:14

That is one of the ones I've done yet. Yeah, I thought so, yeah.

Speaker 1 15:16

Have you done that quite often? Question.

Speaker 2 15:19

Um, no, not that often Okay.

Speaker 1 15:22

Another question Question have you ever done that with people that you've been maybe more regular with or dated, or have you ever done it as like a one night? Because a one night thing would really scare me, because I don't really know that person and suddenly they've got a video of you.

Speaker 2 15:35

I've done it with a mix. I reckon on my phone locked away, so don't try stealing my phone. I probably have videos of maybe seven or eight different people.

Speaker 1 15:47

Okay, and do they also have a copy of that video?

Speaker 2 15:51

Not all of them, no, I reckon three of them were ex-boyfriends. The rest are like hookups or friends, but if it's kind of situation.

Speaker 1 15:58

That's very Kim Kardashian of you.

Speaker 2 16:00

Yeah, I mean, I don't think my face is in any of them.

Speaker 1 16:02

Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 16:03

That helps make me sound less of a slut. Anyway, I think we should move on to the next one. I think maybe you have flirted with a boss, wasn't it have sex with?

Speaker 1 16:16

a boss.

Speaker 2 16:16

No, flirted or made a pass.

Speaker 1 16:18

I misheard you. I thought you said them have sex with a boss. I probably flirted with a boss.

Speaker 2 16:21

Yeah, oh, so you have dropped another finger, so we're down to six.

Speaker 1 16:25

I think I've dropped another finger. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 16:26

Yeah, that's one step closer to my two. Do you know what? I read it? No, so I've only managed to guess one of them, which was the peach dessert. So come on and tell us which three fingers did you drop? Well, four, did you drop four?

Speaker 1 16:40

Yeah, so obviously the flirted with a boss. Pretty sure I have done that now. Yeah, sex on the beach I have had sex with. Actually I lost my virginity on the beach.

Speaker 2 16:49

Oh, actually, I feel like you've spoken about this on a podcast episode.

Speaker 1 16:53

Yeah, I feel like I brought this up at some point. Okay, so yeah, I've had sex on the beach, I lost my virginity and I would not recommend, because it was a sandy beach and there was just sand in places that I just didn't want sand to be in. You know, yeah, that was not the fave. And then the other one I have had sex with an actual daddy, but there is a bit of a story.

Speaker 2 17:17

Oh gosh, we want the story, we want the story.

Speaker 1 17:21

Before I tell the story, have you also had sex with an actual daddy?

Speaker 2 17:25

No, you need to tell the story first.

Speaker 1 17:27

Okay. So this was a few years ago. I was in my twenties. I was on that little special yellow app that we know and love Yellow is an orange Yellow orange, you know the one I'm talking about and was changed to this guy and he was very attractive, very handsome, had a quite muscular six pack and definitely looked like a daddy sort of type, right, and I was like cool, I, yeah, I'm going for a bit of a daddy phase at the moment. Let's hook up. So I went around here's and ended up staying the night actually, which I don't really do with like hookups.

Speaker 1 17:57

One night we had such a nice evening together and, you know, we had sex and stuff. And the next day he was dropping me back off to the tube and he, he was like oh, what are you up to this weekend? Like anything fun? He's like yeah, actually it's my birthday this weekend. So having a big party is like oh, wow, amazing. Like how old are you? I thought he was going to say like 45. He told me he was turning 60. So I was like oh, okay, like you are like on the older daddy's scale, which is fine, granddaddy. Well, you say that the plot figure. Oh, my gosh. I was like, oh cool, if you've got a lot of people coming around, is like, oh yeah, like my daughter's coming around, and stuff is like, oh, okay, so you are an actual daddy. It's like, yeah, yeah, my grandkids.

Speaker 2 18:43

Oh, my great grandkids.

Speaker 1 18:46

So in my head I was like I have actually just fucked an actual granddad. Wow, this guy is older than my dad and he is old enough to also be my granddad, and I've just fucked a granddad.

Speaker 2 18:57

Well, I really feel like you gave up more information that you need to do for the question, if I'm honest.

Speaker 3 19:01

But I'm absolutely fine with that.

Speaker 1 19:04

Wow Okay, have you fucked a granddad? Hopefully you're going to say yes. I don't feel like I'm the only person in this category.

Speaker 2 19:10

I don't believe that was one of the questions, so I don't feel like I am contractually obliged to answer that, but we need your fourth.

Speaker 1 19:17

Oh, we've done it. So I've had sex on the beach, sex with a dad and a granddad, flirted with a boss and eaten ass. They're my four.

Speaker 2 19:25

Oh yeah, Done four yeah.

Speaker 1 19:26

So they're all my four things, but I reckon I need a little refill of my drink, and then I want to hear about all your stories.

Speaker 2 19:33

Yeah, I feel like I need to do like half pot of tequila before I tell you how this does. All right, podcasters, we're going to take a short break, but we'll be back right away with me, ruining any sort of reputation I have by being an absolute filthy pig.

Speaker 3 19:52

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Speaker 1 20:27

Right, I'm so excited to get all the gas from you. Are you ready to reveal your secrets?

Speaker 2 20:32

I am going to reveal the secrets, so I realize that is what this whole episode is about. However, just full disclosure. Some of them don't have as interesting stories as you may like. Okay, because obviously these aren't questions that we came up with. So, although I have done them, they're not necessarily a laugh. A minute. Now, that is not me trying to like hold back information. I will answer any question, I will tell you at all. But, yeah, not all of them have. Yeah, okay, let's just do it, let's just get this over and done with Right.

Speaker 1 20:59

I feel like I know some of these anyway, so one of them was take a finger if you have a tattoo. Now, I definitely don't have one, and I'm pretty sure you don't have one either, right?

Speaker 2 21:07

I do not have a tattoo.

Speaker 1 21:09

Would you ever get one?

Speaker 2 21:11

I have contemplated it multiple times. In fact, weird enough, only yesterday Only yesterday I was looking at that website where they like draw them and they're like. They're like transfer ones, but not like kitty transfer ones.

Speaker 1 21:23

I've seen those.

Speaker 2 21:24

Yeah, they're good those they take like a day to appear, yeah, yeah, yeah, and they stay for like a month. Yeah, I was looking at those cause, like I'm on the fence. I've got serious like OCD right when it comes like cleaning and etc. And I would really, I think, freak out if I got a tattoo and it was slightly wonky or slightly wrong. I think I would absolutely, and I'm like there's nothing I can do about it. It would drive me wild. So I think I kind of need to have one on me for a long period of time to see if I get used to it, if I like catching myself in the mirror with it, to then fully invest in my entire life to have this brand branding on my body. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 22:00

Yeah, where would you get it done?

Speaker 2 22:02

Okay, oh gosh, we're really getting into it. Today I have wanted to get something to do with home, like on the back of one of my calves, nice, okay, whether that be like a little like a, a company thing that says nine and five, because the island that I'm from is nine by five miles in size. It's very small.

Speaker 1 22:18

What about a tattoo of the beach where you go and do nudist sunbathing? Okay, do you want the?

Speaker 2 22:24

answers to this question.

Speaker 1 22:26

Okay, no, that's cute Number five Cute Okay, nice Home.

Speaker 2 22:29

And then across my chest, because I've always been quite weird about my chest anyway, I kind of won on what you're going to absolutely rip me for this On one side. I want like a roaring lion, like I want, I want fucking. I want aslan on my chest.

Speaker 1 22:46

And then the other side, the tin man, and then the scare.

Speaker 2 22:48

No a bear. I want a bear on the other side.

Speaker 1 22:52

Lions and bears, oh my.

Speaker 2 22:54

Aslan is not from Lord of the Rings, For you know where's it? Yeah, that's what I've always wanted. I knew you're going to shred me for that, but I've seen somebody with a lion one and I've seen somebody with a bear one and they look. I was really like, okay, that's, that's quite fit. I quite like that.

Speaker 1 23:10

That's very aggressive top energy.

Speaker 2 23:12

I feel like a lion is very is quite my, my vibe anyway, and I know you're going to laugh at all this, but we all know when I went to drama school, blah, blah, blah, blah there I was given a like a piece of advice that I have carried with me for well since I was told it. Right, yeah, and they said, because I mentioned, like, how I had struggled in the past with, like social anxiety and I just didn't know what to be like in a new social situation, blah, blah, blah. And they looked in the eyes and they said when you go into a room of people, whether you know them or you don't be the lion.

Speaker 1 23:45

That's pretty good advice, to be fair Well. I haven't really explained what that means yet, so but it's like no, be someone who is like I'm strong and holds their own right.

Speaker 2 23:54

Well, yeah, kind of that's what I yeah sure that is what the lion represents. But I kind of said, how do you mean? And they said, well, when, like, kids go to the zoo, you go to the penguins, you go to this, you go to that, but the one animal they all want to see is the lion, and it's normally the one who's doing the least.

Speaker 1 24:12

Oh, that's so true actually, because lions just tend to just lie there.

Speaker 2 24:15

Yeah, and walk around and he was like be the lion, be the power, be the one that people want more of. So it's always stuck with me. So I've always had this sort of like connection with lions and I very much, yeah, I like it.

Speaker 1 24:27

Well, I didn't realize we had K E Perry on the podcast. You're going to hear me raw. No, that's nice, and I always think, like with a tattoo, there's something personal about it that you connect with and you've, you have that, so that's lovely.

Speaker 2 24:43

Yeah, I also. Fun fact if I ever have a kid and he's a boy, I want to call him a zlan.

Speaker 1 24:48

Okay, is that going to be too far? Well, if I've already got the lion tattoo.

Speaker 2 24:52

I obviously can't have both. It's one or the other. I'm either going to get a tattoo or a child.

Speaker 1 24:58

What's the cheaper one? What's the one in budget I?

Speaker 2 25:03

mean the tattoo. If I get it done, I can't change it. I can always change my son. Stopping for a different word, it's difficult, it's difficult, anyway, yeah, so no, I have not got a tattoo.

Speaker 1 25:15

In short, Okay, well, some of these other ones. I feel like I know obviously films sex. Yeah, we know that one Got with friends X.

Speaker 2 25:23

I feel like you would have done that I have got with a friends X. I can go a step further. I've also got with an X's X, benji. Sorry, but they, they, yeah, it's happened. It's happened, but it happened after they were.

Speaker 1 25:38

my ex Does that make sense, yeah, but even so, I could not get with one of my friends X partners. I just couldn't see them in that way, and also I think that's a bit wrong as well.

Speaker 2 25:47

Personally, I've got higher morals than you, clearly, whoa whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa. Getting with okay, in my eyes, can be anything from a kiss, kissing, yeah. So I have slept with my ex's X, but I've only ever like kissed a friend's X.

Speaker 1 26:06

Yeah, I don't know how I feel about that one. I always feel that there should be like a bit of a code with friends that I don't know if there's an X, but I think I will be a bit heartbroken if you got one of my ex's. If I'm honest, I think like like a proper X, not some of the days for like a few weeks, like someone that I've like had a bit of relationship with over, let's say, six months plus. Yeah, have you got one of my ex's? Is what you're about to confess?

Sexual Experiences and LGBTQ+ Issues

Speaker 2 26:27

Can you imagine, can you imagine, if I'd got with that X that we made that fricking whole season about? Can you imagine? Yeah, I can tell you right now that that never happened. No, none of your ex's. But another fun fact two of my ex's are now engaged to each other. What I know, I know.

Speaker 1 26:45

That is madness.

Speaker 2 26:46

Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot to take on.

Speaker 1 26:49

I mean it's bound to happen. You have slept with half of London, so there's only so many games. Wow Jokes jokes you put that out there now.

Speaker 2 27:01

So yeah, that is that. It was never like in a malicious sense and actually, although the friend doesn't know about it, I actually don't think that they would care.

Speaker 1 27:11

Okay, that's fair enough Due to the circumstances, yeah, okay, yeah, I guess it's all circumstantial. Okay so, sex on the Beach. I know you've done that. Yeah, slept with a drag queen. Now, I know you definitely have done that one. I have done that one.

Speaker 2 27:26

No, we don't need to go into any further than that. We don't need to go further than that, but it has happened.

Speaker 1 27:34

Let's just say one of these queens has met Mamoru and that's all the information we can give on the podcast. But, podcasters, if you want to know, just slide into the DMs, I'll let you know. Okay, I won't tell Benji, don't worry. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you know what?

Speaker 2 27:53

If they guess, I might give it a double tap to let them know they got it right, but don't you dare tell anyone. All right, okay.

Speaker 1 28:00

So for daddy, now I feel like you probably have, sorry, slept with an actual daddy. Yeah, now I feel like you probably have done that. I have done that.

Speaker 2 28:08

However, in my defense I don't see any. You know I'm not an ageist kind of person. I didn't know he was a daddy at the time. It was our favorite app, kind of hookup.

Speaker 1 28:21

Yeah, classic.

Speaker 2 28:22

Yeah, went around chat for like 20 minutes, had a load of fun and then, as I was leaving, I was obviously when you arrive, you take your shoes off. That's really quick. Putting them on always takes so much longer, right? So that awkward like oh, just quickly put the shoes on, yeah, yeah, yeah. As I was putting my shoes on, I noticed some photo frames on the little like console table as I was leaving and one of the picture frames said daddy holding two children. The picture frame said best daddy.

Speaker 1 28:55

We like he really is the best daddy.

Speaker 2 28:57

Yeah, I was like I was actually staring at it like goop See how that happened. And I left and I didn't actually talk to him again. I felt a little bit betrayed. I'm not gonna lie.

Speaker 1 29:05

I kind of felt that with the granddad as well, you know.

Speaker 2 29:08

Yeah, and not because I think any differently of him. I don't find him less attractive because he's a dad, right, yeah.

Speaker 1 29:14

I was well into the granddad.

Speaker 2 29:15

But I opened up so many more questions like, okay, are they? Are they adopted? Do they have a fatherly figure? Are they in the house? Yeah, Do you have a wife? Yeah, Like what? What is the deal here? And I was like I don't want to be that home wrecker. Say what you will about me, I'm not home wrecker, you know yeah, no, I totally get that, totally get that.

Speaker 1 29:34

And also another crazy thing how many straight in quotation marks, whatever you want to call them, people are there on Grindr Too many.

Speaker 3 29:42

No.

Speaker 1 29:44

And so this is why you know they're like oh, I think the UK is like 10% LGBTQ plus. No, there are way more people than that. We just don't know about them because they are in straight relationships but they hide and then they have these blank profiles on Grindr and they're actually married and have kids and all of that.

Speaker 2 29:59

They're fully suppressed yeah.

Speaker 1 30:00

Yeah, I was like there are way more gay people in the world than what we know about for sure 100%.

Speaker 2 30:06

Couldn't agree with you more. And it is really sad. It's because they, yeah, really sad, don't feel they are accepted within their livelihoods and lifestyle to come out and I genuinely really feel for them. And, weirdly enough, actually, I've had a conversation with somebody in my family who I've sort of said like, oh, it's really damaging, I feel like back at home, the LGBT community because it's it is full of suppressed gay people who live their life as a straight man and they go ahead and they get married and they have kids and they do everything that basically what they were taught to do at school.

Speaker 2 30:40

And my family was like I actually find it quite selfish. And I was like, oh, I was like what do you mean by that? And they were like oh, I actually find it quite selfish that they go ahead and they actually marry someone and end up having children when it's not really what they want and they're bringing other people into the world but they're not really living like how they want to live. And, to be fair, it actually really pissed me off. I was like that is a really nasty approach to this. You are blaming them for not living their truth when the society over here won't let them live that truth, like I know so many people that are gay back at home and they have to be straight for their job.

Speaker 2 31:18

Exactly that yeah like, even like footballers, and like people back at home that play sports for the island. They're like I can come out as gay because I'd be ostracized from the rest of my group. Like how would I then go to the showers and like the changing rooms and I'd be completely pushed out.

Speaker 1 31:30

That's just awful, isn't it? It really is. It sucks Such a shame, isn't it? Yeah, it does suck and I want it to change. You know, I wish I could wave a magic wand and it'd be different, because I really feel for those people and I feel like they're missing out on such a wonderful community that will embrace them and accept them. But if you're not exposed to that, how do you know that community is even there, right?

Speaker 2 31:50

Yeah, and a little part of me does feel for the children that then maybe their parents do break up because of sexuality clashes, etc. But that's why it's so great when we do watch like I hate to bring it up again, but when we do watch Drag Race and you see people that have like two same gendered parents, like look how happy they are yeah, for sure, for sure, like you then suddenly being gay shouldn't ever affect your relationship with your kids.

Speaker 1 32:15

No, just because you're hetro or homosexual or whatever, it doesn't mean you're a good or lesser parent than one or the other, do you?

Speaker 2 32:21

know what I mean For sure, and I think actually hiding who you are and trying to raise a child, who are so intuitive, I think, to parents' feelings, emotions, general well-being, I think that is way more. Living a lie towards your kids is way more damaging than them growing up, maybe then in a separated parent household. Yeah, because you're gay. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 32:43

Yeah, I agree, Gosh. This took a little deep turn, didn't it? It was meant to be a little fun finger game.

Speaker 2 32:49

You see, I sleep with these daddies so I can raise awareness. I don't know why you're laughing. You slept with one too. I know I know Right, go on next one, right so know that you've eaten ass.

Speaker 1 33:00

I'm going to tick that as a yes, done deal. Sex underwater I'm just going to say, yeah, you've definitely done that.

Speaker 2 33:05

Yeah, and can I tell you, it is not glamorous, it is not good.

Speaker 1 33:09

I've heard this. I've not done that, but I've heard this. Quite hard to do that.

Speaker 2 33:12

You've probably heard it from me.

Speaker 1 33:14

Think, at the pool party you were talking about having sex in the pool. I was like with me, no chance.

Speaker 2 33:19

Okay, okay Lies, I'll moner you. No, I was sort of saying like I wonder if late at night, like people, if that's going to happen. Or someone said I wonder if that would happen and I said it's actually. It's really really difficult and the main reason is that, well, I guess if it's a water based lube, it vanishes. It doesn't exist. As soon as it goes in the water it's gone and it is like, yeah, sandpaper, right yeah, not enough lubrication.

Speaker 2 33:43

Not at all, and I think the chlorine just strips through anything. If it's in a pool, I don't see that's not very comfortable for the other person, cause then it's just loads of salt water.

Speaker 1 33:51

Oh, yeah, oh my goodness. And if there's a cut as well, that must sting. Oh no to having sex in the sea, then. But a question maybe I'm being really dumb here. Yeah, sorry, this is a bit gross. You know, if you don't have lube, you can spit, can't you? And that's like a water and that could. It's not ideal, but you could maybe use spit, so is that not the same with water in like a pool Cause it's just water, right, it's wet, I hear what you're saying.

Speaker 2 34:16

No, it's not quite the same. If you're like in water, obviously you spit, the spit's going to vanish. But you're saying your spit is like water.

Speaker 3 34:25

And if you're like in the bedroom.

Speaker 2 34:26

You could use spit For sure, right, yes, but your spit isn't actually just water, and when you're out of if you're not in, so it's very confusing. If you're in bed and using a spit, it only lasts for a certain amount of time, right, it does eventually dry up. Oh yeah, if you're in the water, it dries up much quicker, right, if you didn't use spit, you couldn't like get a glass of water and use that, could you?

Speaker 1 34:45

Oh yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 34:46

Yeah, I wouldn't think about doing that, no, also you realise, like spit is not, like saliva is not water. You're aware of this right.

Speaker 1 34:52

Not quite sure about that. I just thought it was a bit of water.

Speaker 2 34:55

Okay, you need to go back to school and figure out where that is. But yeah, that's why it doesn't work. I mean, I've never tried using oil based lubricant. That would probably help, but even so, in the salt water it's not very clean either.

Speaker 1 35:06

Yeah, I think the sex and the seed, just in general, is a no for the salt, to be fair.

Speaker 2 35:10

Yeah, the most enjoyable one was definitely the jacuzzi. I'll be honest.

Speaker 1 35:13

Okay, nice.

Speaker 2 35:14

But even then I'd much rather a bed.

Speaker 1 35:17

Well, you heard it here first podcasters. So that means the two fingers that you didn't put down were the tattoo one. Yeah, and sleeping with someone whilst their partner is in the house.

Speaker 2 35:26

That I'm aware of, but who knows who?

Speaker 1 35:28

knows the wife fast asleep while the daddies are playing. Oh my goodness, Can you imagine?

Speaker 2 35:33

No, yeah, gosh, I really feel like you learned an awful lot of outrageous stuff about me on this episode. I did not see it going this way.

Speaker 1 35:42

You would have played this game because you were trying to set me up, weren't you A little bit, and it backfired on you, honey. So that is bad karma.

Speaker 2 35:49

Please at home. If you did play along, please do send in your scores, and if you have any funny stories about any of the questions, please do write them in and we would love to share them on the podcast as well. If you play with friends, housemates etc. Feel free to send us over their stories as well. We don't care who they are.

BBC Radio London's Big Gay Podcast

Speaker 2 36:05

We'll keep them anonymous if you want us to, but we'd love to read them, mainly just to help with my own self-esteem, because I feel like this whole episode is like shone a light on all the bad parts about Benji, and I would like to share that love, but that is all we have time for, thank goodness. On this week's episode of my Big Gay Podcast. If you don't already, please head over to our Instagram. It's at Big Gay Podcast. We put all sorts of questions and polls up on the podcast and we would love for you to get as involved as you would like to with them so we can interact with you.

Speaker 1 36:36

And if you want more my Big Gay Podcast in your life, then you're in luck, because this week we are on BBC Radio London for a special interview talking about all things big and gay and podcasting.

Speaker 2 36:49

So we will see you there. That's right. If you are listening to this before Thursday, the 3rd of August, you can tune in at hotpotts4 and have a listen to Benji and Brad taking on the BBC. My goodness Lord, help us.

Speaker 1 37:01

What could possibly go?

Speaker 2 37:02

wrong. I mean, I'm terrified, but yes, people are really London. That is Thursday at 4.40. But, brad, like I said, that is all we have time for on this week's episode of my Big Gay Podcast, until next time see you next Wednesday. Do you think we could introduce your daddy to my daddy?

Speaker 1 37:20

Oh well, my daddy is actually granddaddy, so maybe they could like share granddad's pariton tips.

Speaker 2 37:28

Okay, well, my daddy is bigger than your daddy.

Speaker 1 37:30

Okay, well, my daddy is older than your daddy.

Speaker 2 37:32

Well, my daddy takes it better than your daddy.

Speaker 1 37:36

My daddy beg for round two.

Speaker 2 37:38

What are we doing?