Two Gays and the Christmas Message

Join Benji and Brad for some festive fun as they chat about their lead up to Christmas, what they’re getting each other as a present and how some of their Christmas parties have ended up! Happy holidays podcasters and here’s to a fantastic 2024 for you all x

A special shout out to our FWB for the month of August!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Ho, ho Ho, merry Christmas.

Speaker 2: 0:21

Hello and welcome to my big gay podcast with me, benji Ho.

Speaker 1: 0:24

Ho Ho. And me, brad, giving you the life, the loves and loaves of living in London Two fairies, tis the season.

Speaker 3: 0:34

What could possibly?

Speaker 1: 0:35

go wrong, it's Christmas.

Speaker 3: 0:41

Oh my goodness, I actually have such an insight into what you were like as a child on Christmas morning, Just from you saying it's Christmas. I bet you were the most obnoxious little Brad Screaming round the house like banging on doors. That was you, wasn't it.

Speaker 1: 0:58

I mean not much has changed. I'll be honest with you I love this time of year, makes me so happy.

Speaker 3: 1:03

Oh my goodness, you and your little onesie running round.

Speaker 1: 1:06

I do actually have a Christmas onesie. Thank you so much. You know my wardrobe.

Speaker 3: 1:10

Well, yeah, we all know your wardrobe. It's basic and plenty and boring. But in my head it has one of those you know, you see them in films. They've got little squares by the bomb and they're like button up and button down. I feel like you have that.

Speaker 1: 1:25

Just open the flap and away we go. It's party time.

Speaker 3: 1:29

Sort of running around the club with the flap undone in front of the cheeky girls.

Speaker 1: 1:34

Chase me, chase me, oh my goodness Although do not make me run at this time of year, because I'm full of prosecco and chocolate, so flap well and truly closed.

Speaker 3: 1:45

Honey, your flap is never closing, ever again. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, too much. It is Christmas season. Are you excited for Christmas? Are you ready for it?

Speaker 1: 1:56

I am really excited, ready, not too sure about I actually went Christmas shopping in central London yesterday. Oh gosh, yeah, that's an experience. That is an experience. At one point I was sweating. I had all the bags obviously you've wrapped up in a winter coat, right, because it's cold. In the shops it's so hot and on the tube it's so hot I was like, oh my god, get me home now. But I do love London at Christmas time because it does look magical.

Speaker 3: 2:23

Do you know what I think? The Oxford Street and all that, all the lights, the carnaby is so pretty. Yes, all these places. But yes, I agree, it's so cold. You do have to wrap up warm. But then in and out the shops. I'll be honest if I go Christmas shopping in central London, I will normally wear just like a thin jumper and I will just try spending more time in the shops and out, because I can't be dealing with taking clothes on and off. Can't do it Do you know what?

Speaker 1: 2:46

you've got it right. That is what I should have done, taking my clothes off. Everyone would have liked it.

Speaker 3: 2:51

That would have been a Christmas special in itself, to be honest, oh goodness, no, no, no, no. Did you get all the presents that you wanted to get?

Speaker 1: 3:01

Most of them. I've got a last couple to do, so I'm going to do those tomorrow and then I'm done, and today I'm actually hosting 12 people coming around to my flat in London for big London Christmas.

Speaker 3: 3:11

can't wait 12 Gays of Christmas.

Speaker 1: 3:13

Literally the 12 Gays of Christmas. Oh my God, that's so clever. Never even thought of that. That's because you're stupid. I mean, obviously you would have been here as well if you were in London, but we all know you're away at the moment.

Speaker 3: 3:27

I am away. Plus 13 Gays of Christmas doesn't quite have the same ring to it, it doesn't no it doesn't. No gold ring, gold ring, five gold rings. I'm good. I'm good. Yes, I am away. I've been away for a couple of weeks now. I'll be honest, I'm not going to sound like the Grinch, because I'm very aware that this episode is coming out to help you all with the Christmas spirit, maybe also wrapping presents or Christmas morning, I don't know, but I'm really ready for Easter. To be honest, I'm ready for Easter.

Speaker 1: 4:00

We're not even at Christmas yet, hun.

Speaker 3: 4:02

Yeah, I know, but the thing is, you know, over Christmas I work with my other company and it's retail based, and I tell you what my heart goes out to anybody working retail at the moment I mean as much as other sectors are also probably getting quite hard. Retailers have it really bad, like the demand of people and just the constant listening to the same Christmas songs over and over again. Now, when you're a kid you think there's loads of Christmas songs. Watch I listen to today. They're actually on that many. They really aren't, and they quickly loop around.

Speaker 1: 4:33

But also they cover all the same songs, don't they? Yes, that's what I mean. So, like Santa Claus has come into town, like every pop artist has done, that I mean, do you have a favourite Christmas song?

Speaker 3: 4:42

None of them.

Speaker 1: 4:44

No, you've got to pick one. Come on, it's Christmas.

Speaker 3: 4:46

Okay, no, no, okay, sorry, I'll take the back. It is fun, but I have found more enjoyment with Christmas. Listening to like this is how old I am listening to like choirs and instrumentals and movie soundtracks like Christmas, because it's really different. And then they're quite magical and they're about to absolutely rip me a new one for saying that. But that's true, it's nice.

Speaker 1: 5:09

Why are you turning into an old granddad gay right now.

Speaker 3: 5:13

I know it's honestly, it's happening much quicker than I ever thought to.

Speaker 1: 5:16

The BBC choir Christmas soundtrack is my favourite Christmas.

Speaker 3: 5:21

OK.

Speaker 1: 5:22

Nothing wrong with that, though Nothing wrong, no shade.

Speaker 3: 5:24

Ok, we've done a lot of seasons and I know I sound nothing like that, but good try, no, if I had to pick one from, like my childhood, I think it's going to have to be Slade. Oh, that one, yeah, I think so.

Speaker 1: 5:42

How does that one go again?

Speaker 3: 5:43

It starts going it's Christmas.

Speaker 1: 5:45

Yeah, I thought it was yeah.

Speaker 3: 5:47

Are you hanging up, stuck in on the wall, which I always thought was interesting? Because you don't hang on the wall, you hang on the fireplace.

Speaker 1: 5:53

Lyric rewrite.

Speaker 3: 5:55

So no, I'm not Slade Wrong already, but what's your favourite?

Speaker 1: 6:00

Oh, I mean I have a Christmas party album playlist on my Spotify. I've just been on repeat for the last few weeks Ariana Grande. I do love Ariana Grande, not gonna lie. There's no, it's too many. Santa, tell me.

Speaker 3: 6:12

Love it, love it, that's quite right.

Speaker 1: 6:15

I also really like now. Obviously Queen of Christmas Mariah classic, yeah, but really like Kenny Clarkson's underneath the tree as well. That is a two.

Speaker 3: 6:26

Yeah, did Meghan Trainor also do a Christmas one, meghan.

Speaker 1: 6:29

Trainor We've got. Christina Aguilera has got an amazing Christmas album. Jessie J's Christmas album so good, oh my God. Jojo's Christmas album is also amazing. Honestly, they've been on repeat for the last few weeks. Love it.

Speaker 3: 6:40

Well, you know Mariah Carey, I know her personally yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:44

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 6:44

Yeah yeah, I call that M Yo, m-e-c. Fun fact for you, don't Google. Do you know how much money Mariah Carey makes? It rumored allegedly. I should start saying from that one song every year.

Speaker 1: 6:59

This is like royalties, right? So, yeah, I bet this is her big money earner this time of year.

Speaker 3: 7:04

Yeah, and it's in dollars. Guess in dollars.

Speaker 1: 7:06

OK, like two million dollars. No, it's more Five million dollars.

Speaker 3: 7:12

No, it's three million dollars every year for a song that she brought out a while ago.

Speaker 1: 7:16

In that the dream. That matters To write one hit song and then just live off that royalty every year.

Speaker 3: 7:21

Yeah, if you get, I mean Slade. I don't know how much Slade you're getting, because it's been around a long, long time, but yeah, I think all the movies that use it.

Speaker 1: 7:29

Oh my God, our goal next year is to write a Christmas hit single. Benji and Brad, that's actually not a bad idea. Thank you so much.

Speaker 3: 7:36

I'm actually going to put that oh my God, finally you're coming up with some good content ideas. I'm going to put that little pin in that that's actually not a bad idea.

Speaker 1: 7:45

Well, have you done all your Christmas shopping?

Speaker 3: 7:47

No, honestly, I haven't really started. I kind of panic, bought a lot of things online from a popular online retailer, yeah, and I'm just hoping it's going to arrive.

Speaker 1: 7:55

The important question is have you got my present?

Speaker 3: 7:57

I have. I have got your present actually. Yeah, have you got me a present?

Speaker 1: 8:01

I have yes.

Speaker 3: 8:02

OK, well, I mean, am I going to have to wait? I'm like to open it, or are you going to tell me what you've got me?

Speaker 1: 8:07

I actually got you a hair dye kit, so I thought it's time to scrap the ginger locks and go for a new look for 2024.

Speaker 3: 8:15

OK, first of all, rude. Secondly, what color am I going? Blonde because blondes have more fun, but I am blonde in the summer.

Speaker 1: 8:25

I don't think so. You are ginger. Is the gingers long when it's?

Speaker 3: 8:35

As ginger as the ginger ginger Is that what you were saying.

Speaker 1: 8:39

Ginger is the gingers long, that very famous saying.

Speaker 3: 8:45

That very famous saying. I mean people did use the call me like Prince Harry or Ed Sheeran, but I don't think I'm really that ginger, I think it's much more strawberry blonde.

Speaker 1: 8:52

But what have you got me for Christmas?

Speaker 3: 8:55

I got. I thought I'd just keep it nice and simple. What could he use that he kind of needs, but maybe he wouldn't treat himself. But also, we kind of want to drop the hint that he probably needs this. I was like deodorant. No, what I got you was a whole repair kit to repair your hole, because it's it's it's battered, it's it's like a punctured tyre, it's flat, it's flapping, it makes a loud noise.

Speaker 1: 9:32

It doesn't really get you anywhere yeah, oh, I'm crying, I'm actually crying yeah, you're so rude, just so rude. I don't know why I agreed to do this little christmas episode with you you know people have like design of vaginas.

Speaker 3: 9:49

It's like that and I could pay a little top up and get you like a bejazzling kit. I've got one of those as well. Just just a jazzy art a little bit.

Speaker 1: 10:02

Get something new to the clappings well, I can't wait to put that to good use.

Speaker 2: 10:14

We interrupt this podcast to give you an important message good afternoon to all you twinks, trunks, autos, bears, gays, lesbians, lgbtq, plus family allies and even the straits. This is a message from your lovely queen of queens. Sadly, rupaul was not available. Christmas for me is all about receiving, and I personally cannot wait to receive the gift which my husband wishes to give to me on christmas day multiple times. Just like the christmas turkey, I do royally enjoy a good stuffing. Christmas would not be christmas without little pigs in blankets, and sometimes I don't even give them a blanket. They're just pigs, filthy, dirty pigs. Now I must cut the message short, because my husband has asked me to go and baste the turkey, which I will do with beautiful dripping juices is before I part. I wish to wish you all a very happy christmas and a prosperous new year. Except for you, brad, you can run now.

Speaker 1: 11:46

Merry christmas wow, I can't believe it.

Speaker 3: 11:52

We had the queen on the podcast I know, sorry, I just did, I miss something. I just went to the toilet.

Speaker 1: 12:00

Just does something happen so what I want to know is have you had any fun festive outings since last senior?

Speaker 3: 12:10

okay, this is not fair, because this is absolutely a loaded question we just had a chat about last weekend and now you're just throwing me under the bus. Yes, I did go out last saturday for the first time in however many years maybe like seven years in jersey oh, wow, okay, yeah yeah, because there's nowhere really to go out, but I want to go watch, um, the drag show.

Speaker 3: 12:31

It's really fun, and then ended up in this club I think it's called mimosa. Anyway, it's carpeted. It's like um, infernos, uh-huh, but it's like a padded carpet. It's very strange. I think it's designed so when you spill your and I mean when you spill your drinks, because I was trollied um it kind of just like soaks it all up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I don't really remember much from the evening. All I remember is getting out the cab at my friend's house and throwing up over the wall into their neighbor's garden. Oh, benji, yeah, well, he wasn't in the cab. Yeah, that's true, that's true. Uh, unlike you, mr, blocked from uber.

Speaker 3: 13:08

Um and the other thing I remember is just spending the whole night in mimosa with this random guy dancing with my hand down the front of his trousers and Him just whispering into my ear I'm a grower, not a show. What? And I was like is that his defense, or is that?

Speaker 1: 13:31

What is that?

Speaker 3: 13:32

Yeah, what is that I was like? Does he think that I'm like thinking I was not? I mean, you know, I maybe want it bigger, which of course I was not thinking. I'm not going to judge anyone on that or is he trying to say, like, watch out, because when I get going you know? Oh right, yeah, I'm a stallion.

Speaker 1: 13:47

Well, did you find out?

Speaker 3: 13:48

No, I didn't, I was so drunk mate. Honestly, really bad. I would say that's like top three. It's not quite as bad as Brighton, it's not quite as bad as Help, but it was bad. It was bad times.

Speaker 1: 14:02

Oh my goodness, that was one of my favourite moments of the year with you in Brighton. When we were out, you just disappeared, like where is Benji? And then look at my phone, there's all these messages from you that just said one word, and one word only Help, help. And I came out to find you and there you are looking very classy, very attractive, very lovely, lots of dignity, in the gutter throwing up your guts.

Speaker 3: 14:27

Yeah, on all fours just throwing up. Oh gosh bad.

Speaker 1: 14:31

And then I went on FaceTime tonight with some friends and like is that Benji? Is that yeah, say hello. No, it was in worse that you were like oh, look at like welcome to Brighton.

Speaker 3: 14:40

Look at Bridgen, like scammed over to me throwing up, and they were like oh. And then, as they started to like die down, they're like, oh wait, is that Benji? Then already passed judgment. And then suddenly, oh, maybe, maybe, mine are concerned that I'm actually lying on the pavement dying.

Speaker 1: 14:56

I was like it's fine, it's fine, I'm in great time.

Speaker 3: 15:00

It's fine. It's fine, I've got his card. I've just bought the whole club around the shop. Oh, perky.

Speaker 1: 15:06

That did happen, that did happen.

Speaker 3: 15:07

Yeah, I know, I've had my bank statement and now it happened.

Speaker 1: 15:09

Sorry about that, just got a bit happy. No good times, good times. Yeah, I went out as well the other day with some gays. There's like a final, like it's Christmas last gay outing of the year. Yeah, and I took my next door neighbor with me, who I know you've met several times, the lovely Claire. I adore her. How would you describe Claire for anyone who doesn't know her?

Speaker 3: 15:31

Oh my goodness, claire, I'm going to describe her attitude, which is more important. Her attitude and her character is very cats. Later from EastEnders.

Speaker 1: 15:43

That is actually perfect yeah.

Speaker 3: 15:45

Yeah, with a sprinkling of film itch on, but she, she's chaos. She is unstoppable. I don't know how to describe it. I think she's just an absolute who. I don't think you could really get her to do anything. She didn't want to do, no, but she always wants to do everything that's to do with going out with the guys, because she's an absolute fag hag.

Speaker 1: 16:09

She is, yeah yeah, she's in her 40s, she's single, she smokes, she drinks beer. I will go out with the guys, obviously, and get like vodka, cranberry and there's clear of like a pint and a fag in her mouth, like that is the visual that you need for clear right.

Speaker 3: 16:22

But she also always looks gorgeous, like for some pints at like brewers and say I would just like sticky floor, just where teachers and she's, and she will come in a full dress.

Speaker 1: 16:31

Yeah, makeup done, hair lovely full dress sparkles cleavage out.

Speaker 1: 16:36

Yeah, yeah, but I'm not fagging mouth. So the gaze and myself we took clear out for a little drag bingo. Christmas time, christmas, drag bingo out and clap them and it ends up being absolute carnage. Anyway, very much lives next door to me. She didn't make it home to next door, end up falling asleep in my bed, like that is how drunk she was. Anyway, the next day I messager because I get ready for work, as well as how I did it anyway, I powered for it work as well as that, works, I'm done for the year. And then after work I messaged. I was like are you okay? Like I'm not heard from you, are you alive? And this was the voice note back I'm alive, I'm not alive. What the hell happened? I woke up in your bloody bed.

Speaker 2: 17:25

I remember standing there outside, can you? But I don't remember anything else.

Speaker 1: 17:30

After that, complete like on, and then obviously I messaged like but bingo is really fun right javica time, as like, yeah, I was like we come to bingo again. She said this I've never, ever, come and been here again, ever again in my life. And then, if you lucky listeners that follow us on Instagram, if you don't, why don't you? But I did post a picture of her absolutely wasted on my bed, and this was her reply when she found out what I'd done.

Speaker 2: 18:02

Oh my fucking god, get that Instagram.

Speaker 1: 18:15

Love it, love it. I love Christmas time. Everyone's so happy and festive and just was have a good time and a good laugh unless, of course, you're Benji and it's just great. Yeah, and I also just like to take this moment.

Speaker 3: 18:24

Was everyone's listening to tell you that you always show me is like oh, you just get me drunk and then you whip the camera into my face and you fill me doing all these things where you just done the exact same thing to her so. I did.

Speaker 1: 18:39

The best of that first voice like you're alive, I love. Now I'm not alright.

Speaker 3: 18:44

Do you remember voice noting somebody who followed the Instagram? Yeah, because these messages were paying him through and I was like, oh, there's like a rolling conversation. I better just like and I know I knew that you out, so I'm just going to interject and see what he's listening to. The voice note that you sent was? You're right, mate. Thank you so much. Then you ended it by saying welcome to the family. I was like I have to get involved.

Speaker 3: 19:19

Sorry, he's really miserable inside, so he doesn't get out much in a way just really quickly, before we wrap up this podcast to a to their wrap up wrap up.

Speaker 1: 19:29

Christmas.

Speaker 3: 19:34

Before we wrap up the podcast is a few things that we wanted just to say before we sort of finish this year. Just a massive thank you really to all the listeners, to all the supporters, all of you that write in every day. It's so nice To hear from you all, hear how you're receiving the episodes, your feedback, things that have helped you, things you want to hear more of like. It's honestly the reason why we're carrying the podcast, thank you. And this year we had our stats come through and we are actually in the top 10 most downloaded podcasts in the world. That's over 125 countries.

Speaker 1: 20:06

This mad. Right when we got that message through, I couldn't believe it. You sent across like no, that's a lie, they've got that wrong. Yeah, but now we checked and yeah, we have been downloaded in 125 countries, and you know how many countries there are in the world 125. 195 countries in the world. How close are we to being like downloaded in every country in the world?

Speaker 3: 20:29

Well, what happened to those other 70? Why are we not being downloaded there?

Speaker 1: 20:32

Well, that is our goal for next year.

Speaker 3: 20:35

Wow, but yeah, I mean, yeah, huge, hugely grateful to everyone that supports us on the way, like yeah. Never, ever thought that would happen. Us that sort of in upper jams in bedrooms starting this podcast. Just it's mental, mental, mental. But yeah, top 10 most downloaded podcasts in the world mad, madness. Anyway, I guess there's not much more that we can say or do, but wish you all a very happy Christmas. Do you have any final words, brad, to see out to A23 and Christmas.

Speaker 1: 21:01

Well, again, just to echo what you said, a massive, massive thank you to all the listeners and the followers, and it's been such an amazing year this year for us. I mean, we have such a ball, don't we, doing this, and we've got to keep looking out for each other, we've got to check in with each other. So, whatever you're doing for Christmas this year whether you're with family, or with your chosen family, or with friends, or by yourself, just having a little alone time just have the best, best time and, of course, get in touch with us. Our DMs are always, always open.

Speaker 3: 21:29

Yes, of course. And on Christmas day, when you are receiving or giving, please tag us in your videos. We'd love to see what you're getting on with. I mean, don't tag us in those videos, okay, fraudulent slip, don't tag us in those actual videos. But you know your Christmas videos, let us know. We're getting up to send us messages. If you're spending it alone, if you're spending it working, please send us a message.

Speaker 3: 21:46

We will do our absolute best to reply to all of you and, like we always say at the end of our podcast, if you don't follow us on Instagram, it's dead easy to just at Big Gay Podcast. We can head over to our website, sign up for our party list, which is mybiggaypodcastcom. But, brad, my Christmas elf, my sugar plum fairy, I would have no more pleasure than shoving you on top of the Christmas tree, but let's be honest, the Christmas tree would probably vanish, which is why I got you that whole repair kit. But, brad, like I said, that is all we have time for on this episode and this year of my Big Gay Podcast. Until next time. Merry Christmas and a Happy New.

Speaker 3: 22:34

Year, do your bum flap up?

Speaker 2: 23:01

Do your bum flap up.