S6. Ep 1. Two Gays and the Skinny Injection

Season 6: Episode 1. Benji and Brad are now officially back with a bang, sharing their latest escapades and teasing a lineup of fabulous guests for Season Six. Brace yourself for a whirlwind season that promises laughter, insight, and plenty of surprises.

Curious about Ozempic and its buzz in the weight loss world? Benji and Brad break it all down for you, from the various forms of the drug to its effects on appetite and costs. The boys get real about societal pressures within the gay community and how this medication fits into the bigger picture of body standards. Whether you're considering Ozempic or just intrigued by the hype, Benji and Brad reveal all and share their experiences. 

Navigating the modern dating scene is no walk in the park, especially post-lockdown. Benji and Brad dive into the nitty-gritty of dating apps like Grindr, Tinder, and Hinge, offering a candid look at the unique challenges and mixed experiences within the gay community. From blunt rejections to unexpected connections, the boys discuss everything. Plus, don’t miss the exciting updates about the different ways you can now interact with My Big Gay Podcast - your participation makes the show even better! 

Join us every Wednesday for all things big and gay on My Big Gay Podcast.

Transcript

Speaker 2 0:17

Hello and welcome to my Big Gay Podcast with me, Benji.

Speaker 1 0:21

And me, Brad, giving you the lives, the loves and lols of living in London.

Speaker 2 0:27

Two gays, one city. What could possibly go?

Speaker 1 0:32

wrong. We are officially back back. Back time six.

Speaker 2 0:39

Oh my goodness, I cannot get enough of that clip.

Speaker 1 0:42

I think I'm over that clip already. I think we've done that joke to death.

Speaker 2 0:46

No, we haven't. I think we've done it, maybe I don't know how many times. At least five, then why not make it six? Oh, but we are back every week properly.

Speaker 1 0:58

I know our listeners have been waiting. When is season six coming? It is coming every week for the foreseeable and we've got so much to catch up on on our adventures we have, honestly, we've had such a crazy, because how, how many months have we been down for six?

Speaker 2 1:16

okay, I quit, I'm out, I'm not oh my goodness, six seasons and he's finally quit did we get that did we? Record that did we get. Send that to my lawyer now. No, I know we are back. It's been a very long time coming and again, we've already sort of sent out an episode not that long ago and we said we're sorry and we gave the reasons as to why we've been away, but we are back, bigger than ever ready to sort of share our chaotic lives.

Speaker 1 1:41

We've got some really special guests coming on this season.

Speaker 2 1:45

We're so excited to have them on, but more on that a bit later on and actually just to touch on that note, we really do want to hear from you who do you want on season six? It can be whoever you want. That if if they reply to us, we'll get them on, but literally whoever you want. Do you want politicians? Do you want drag queens? Do you want celebrities? Who do you want? Please send it to ours or email us, let us know and we will contact them and we will do our absolute best to get them on our little podcast in our lovely little podcast studio.

Speaker 1 2:09

It's so, bougie, this studio. I love it.

Speaker 2 2:11

I know it's really nice and they can have drinks with us and we can just chat shit.

Speaker 1 2:15

Yeah, love that. And not only that, we also love hearing in make us laugh so so much.

Speaker 2 2:26

So we've got a few of those to share along the way as well. So watch this space. We certainly do, but we would not be able to start this season without opening a little tinny for us to share. Now I'm going to be really honest with you. We went to the corner shop before we came to the studio to film and brad was like, oh, I really fancy this. And he went to this freezer and, I'm not gonna lie, I thought he was gonna grab a can of monster. Now, no disrespect to anybody that enjoys monsters, the drink, if people, if you don't know what the drink is, it's like a massive can of energy drink, yeah, but um, I don't know, I just didn't see you as a, as a monster drink, and I really, in those few seconds, um had to question my uh, my uh relationship with you, but then, not to worry, he then reached slightly to the left and picked up a pale orange apricot.

Speaker 1 3:07

So we're all good on that front. Yeah, I can't imagine drinking a monster. I mean, they are massive, those cans. They will give me heart palpitations for life. Yeah, I don't need that. But I do need this little cheeky apricot red bull this episode clearly sponsored by red bull, because you've also got a nice little pink one in your hand.

Speaker 2 3:22

I do love a pink one in my hand and a pink one in my mouth. Pink one in the stink, please. I was about to read the flavour of the drink and now I've just got that on my mind. That is disgusting.

Speaker 1 3:40

That is every person's nightmare Well, not everyone I think some people, some people like it.

Speaker 2 3:45

Anyway, that's enough. Enough of that. Come on, let's open our drinks. Mine's forest fruits, what's yours?

Speaker 1 3:48

apricot and strawberry me to a tea.

Speaker 2 3:50

This here we go there really isn't more of a summer sound than that. I personally think, ah, a bit of ASMR for you.

Speaker 1 4:01

Okay, that is absolutely gorgeous. I've never had that in my life, but that is one for the books.

Speaker 2 4:06

Yeah, don't worry, you can talk right over me whilst I'm doing my ASMR bit, I'm sorry go on. No, no, I know it's fine, I get it. I bore you.

Speaker 1 4:11

Now go on, Do your ASMR then for the listeners. I can't take that seriously swallow.

Speaker 2 4:28

Yeah, swallowing is a serious event. It can go really wrong, and some people are too scared to do it. I, on the other hand, in the words of bruny spears gimme, gimme more well, I didn't realize you were that thirsty oh honey, that's actually really delicious. It's gonna get on very nicely and energise the shit out of me. Gosh, I'm swearing a lot today.

Speaker 1 4:47

You've gotten a bit hyper on the Red Bull. I've only had that two seconds. Yeah, I certainly have been. Well, I have a story to share with you. Go for it. This blew my mind. Have you been to one of the Amazon food shops in London?

Speaker 2 5:01

No, and the first time I heard about it was when I saw your notes and it just said Amazon shopping. I actually have no idea what you're going to tell me.

Speaker 1 5:08

I don't know if there's other of these around the country, I just know they're in London.

Speaker 1 5:11

There's a few in London and I've seen a couple of them now since I've been in one.

Speaker 1 5:14

But basically you need just an Amazon account, not like a prime one, but just a regular Amazon account. You go on the app, you get a barcode and that scans you into the shop. So you can't go in unless you've got, unless you're an amazon account and you it's like a normal, like corner shop, I guess, with food, drinks, whatever alcohol, and all you have to do is you pop things in your basket and you walk out. You don't scan anything, there's no cashiers, there's no one that you pay, and then you get a little email about a few minutes later and it's like we blah, blah out of your account because you've been at the Amazon shop and it lists all the things that you've taken. No, I don't even know the science behind it. There are loads of cameras everywhere. It's like you're in Big Brother, so there's cameras all along the ceilings around the side, so obviously there's people watching and seeing what you put in your basket, or I just don't know how they do that.

Speaker 2 6:02

That is terrifying. See, my mind was blown years ago when I found out that you know hotel mini fridges yes, they're like weighted. So my parents would be like don't even touch it, don't even pick it up to look at it, because as soon as you took it off the shelf you knew you'd taken it and it would go straight onto your bill. Wow, yeah, but I guess it can't be that.

Speaker 1 6:26

So, yeah, maybe it is I actually have no idea that is. That is kind of scary, kind of scary. That's very like futuristic world and the whole idea is that, um, the shops open 24 hours, any time of day. You just scan in, you walk in, there's no staff, there's no cashiers, you grab what you want, you leave and then it comes out your account now I can actually see a huge benefit in this because I don't know about you, even me at my tender age of 27,. I the lies are in full form already.

Speaker 2 6:50

I get nervous going to a shop to buy lube and condoms. I do it online now because I'm too. I do get nervous, I don't know. Don't ask me why I don't.

Speaker 1 6:58

I literally don't know I'm staring at you to be like why are you so ashamed of that?

Speaker 2 7:02

I thought you were going to be like why are you so ashamed of that? I thought you'd be like why are you buying condoms? Um, I don't know, but I think, if I feel that way and obviously I'm very expressive about my sex life and I've told the world- far too many stories.

Speaker 2 7:15

I um. If I feel that way, lots of other people must, and I think that might stop some people from buying them if they need to. So I can actually see a huge benefit to this. However, I can imagine so much must get shoplifted.

Speaker 1 7:29

I don't know how, though, because I was thinking, oh, and even I went to pick something up, put it in my basket. I was like, actually no, I don't want that. I put it back and got something else instead. And it still charged me for the right things. Because when I left, I was like, oh, maybe it's going to charge me for that thing that I picked up. Nope, it knew, it knew.

Speaker 2 7:44

That shop knew. That is so weird. Yeah, I'm going to have to look into that. I have a bit of a techie kind of brain and that really fascinates me. Do you mean geek?

Speaker 1 7:53

Some might say geek yeah, cyber nerd, but I have a serious question to ask you Is chat making you angry, making you moody?

Speaker 2 8:03

why would it be making me? Because I know your secret.

Speaker 1 8:07

I know your secret hunger. I hardly know her um, do you want to share the world what you've uh been up to since uh season five and now?

Speaker 2 8:20

okay, fine, okay, I will go into this very quickly. I feel like it was a bit of a hot topic. I'm very happy, I'm doing things very carefully, but, yes, okay, since February I have been living my skinny girl dream on a Zen pic.

Speaker 1 8:37

So a Zen pic is a thing that keeps coming up on all the socials. I see drag queens are on them quite a bit.

Speaker 2 8:43

Yeah, I mean yeah.

Speaker 1 8:46

Is it like the Kardashians are on them, or something?

Speaker 2 8:48

No. So there's a bit of like a divide now in the like I was gonna say in the celeb world. I'm not putting myself in that world, I'm saying like people in the media eye, because some people can just happily lose weight and change their body in different ways. Some people go on very straight eating body in different ways. Some people go on very straight eating sort of lifestyles changes. People go to the gym, people pick up whatever and some people inject themselves once a week, like myself. But um, yeah, and then some people get really upset when they're like, oh, my goodness, you've like, you've done so well that you look really healthy. And then people in the media just like, well, clearly she's on a zempic, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 9:22

Oh yeah, so like Melissa.

Speaker 2 9:23

McCarthy recently got like it in the neck I think from Barbara Streisand.

Speaker 1 9:27

Yes, because she was like must be a Zen pic. Yes, I saw that Barbara Streisand commented on her picture like oh my goodness, you're on a Zen pic, you look amazing.

Speaker 2 9:51

Yeah, and to talk about drag queens, let's very quickly touch upon katie scott claus, who has recently gone through an absolute incredible transformation, looks so healthy, just happy and active, and I read a lot of comments on her, especially now she's just been announced for global all-stars. She gets loads of comments like I mean, how long have you been on the zen pic? Where'd you get it from? Like how did it work? And she's like no, I'm running every day.

Speaker 2 10:03

I'm living this different lifestyle yeah I've cut back on alcohol, I've cut back on all these things, and I can see why it wouldn't. It would take away from I don't know I don't know what the word is. It's difficult because I don't want to like glamorize being skinny for and losing weight, and I don't necessarily think people do a zempic just to get super skinny, but for a lot of people it just controls your lifestyle, which is why I. I did it because I'm quite active, I do go to the gym and stuff, but I was one of these ones that would come back home at like 11 pm and I would just end up eating the contents of my fridge for no reason and this just like puts a stop to that, basically.

Weight Loss Drug and Vampire Facelift

Speaker 2 10:37

But um, yeah, there's loads of stuff in the media about it. I'm really happy to answer any questions. I might even do some like vloggy, bloggy bits and bobs vloggy bloggy bit yeah, just hello podcasters, and welcome to benji's vloggy bloggy section, um, because I do get a lot of questions from the small amount of people that know.

Speaker 1 10:54

A lot of people will now know can I ask you a few questions about it, because I'm still a little bit um new to this whole thing yeah, well, you wouldn't be able to do it because you can't stand needles but isn't there drug version as well you can take?

Speaker 2 11:05

there is an anal option. Yeah, is there? Actually sign me up, sorry, so that's the anal and then oral. No, you can take a tablet so where'd you get it from? Uh, so a lot of people go through that. Be very careful here. A lot of people go through their doctors to get it. You should have a prescription to be on it.

Speaker 1 11:22

Okay, and can I go to my doctor and say I want a Zempik? No, I don't.

Speaker 2 11:28

I don't know if they would put you on it. See, look, this is where it gets a bit dodgy and I know what you're doing and now we're going to get trolled. But I was sent a link to get it through a drag queen friend, and the rules have all changed. Now you have to go through a doctor. You have to go like, but I did it through like an online doctor, so it was slightly more difficult this sounds so dodgy and people listening to this are gonna be like what the hell are you doing?

Speaker 2 11:52

but literally it's all above board and loads of people that are done it this way. It's all good and golden and I'm living my best life. But, um, what people might not realize is in america they call it a zempic, and then in the uk you don't really get it called a zempic, it's called wagovi. It's the exact same drug.

Speaker 1 12:07

I can't I?

Speaker 2 12:08

don't remember the actual name of the drug, but it's the exact same thing. But I did all the research and wagovi is the only fda approved weight loss injectable drug which they've tried and tested and approved it right.

Speaker 1 12:19

So I feel very safe taking it and am I right in thinking that it was actually?

Speaker 2 12:23

this drug wasn't for weight loss originally, it was for something else yeah, so it was actually for diabetics and they realized that a side effect of it was losing weight weight, yeah. Well, again, it's not like a magic thing. It doesn't like burn all your fat cells for you whilst you're sleeping. It just really reduces your appetite.

Speaker 1 12:41

Right, okay, so you take this either tablet or the injection, and it just suppresses your hunger, so you just don't feel hungry. Yeah, you don't feel hungry.

Speaker 2 12:49

But I mean you have to be careful on it, because you don't feel thirsty either and obviously if you don't drink that's really bad for you. So you have to make sure you're drinking like three liters of water or a lovely pink red bull, uh, every day. And you do have to remind yourself to eat.

Speaker 1 13:07

I mean, sometimes you get cravings for things, but honestly I haven't felt hunger in like yeah, quite a few months, and how much does it cost to do?

Speaker 2 13:11

it is quite expensive. Yeah, again going into the media like sharon osborne, kelly osborne were like fighting back at people like I can't believe you're on Zempic. Like loads of the housewives were on it and they clapped back and were like listen, all you people attacking us for being on a Zempic, you're just jealous because you can't afford it, which was a very like ballsy thing to say, because I don't personally think it's that expensive, like I'm no millionaire yeah if you break it down it's roughly like, depending on you get it from, it's anywhere between 50 and 70 quid a week.

Speaker 1 13:42

Okay, right, which some people spend more on at the gym? Those really fancy gyms in London are really expensive, right?

Speaker 2 13:48

People that do takeaways.

Speaker 1 13:50

Two, three, times a week and go out for dinner. A couple of days a week, that's it done.

Speaker 2 13:53

You don't need to go out for dinner, henny, because you're not hungry anymore. So, yeah, yeah, you put into perspective. But, um, listen, we're definitely not sponsored by ozambic, by the way, this is just something that we have now brought up, uh, because I don't know, it is kind of a thing in the gay world, isn't it like trying all these new fads and diets and whatnot?

Speaker 2 14:11

absolutely, and there's always been that pressure for gay people to be fit and healthy and skinny, right yeah but yeah, but I do just want to stress again it doesn't like naturally make you like whatever you want to look like. It's not going to do that. All it will do is it will suppress your appetite and give you the opportunity to then make a conscious effort to eat healthier and the right things to achieve, whatever physique it is that you want to achieve. Yeah for sure.

Speaker 1 14:37

Yeah, if that makes sense.

Speaker 2 14:44

Absolutely. Yeah, physique it is that you want to achieve. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, if that makes sense. Absolutely, yeah, I get that. Yeah, anyway, my goodness, all this talking about a zen pick has made me well, not hungry, but want to move on with the podcast.

Speaker 1 14:48

So on with the podcast so I actually still can't believe you inject yourself once a week with this.

Speaker 2 15:00

Do you know what? The first time I did it it was a bit like oh, this is a bit weird, and you kind of get used to it. Is it a big needle? No, it's like Tiny. Yeah, it's like the size of your small fingernail.

Speaker 1 15:11

Is it like the size you know when you do those at home STD?

Speaker 2 15:13

It's a tiny bit longer than that. Because a bit longer than that? Because it needs to go under the layer of, like the layer of fat under your skin. It's honestly, it's not much and you don't. You don't really feel it. You don't need to like numb yourself or anything. I actually find it easier than those home sti cats, the kids. I don't like those because you can't see the needle and then you press the click and then you get that pain, whereas this you kind of just like well, you can inject the side of your leg or like your stomach or your arm, and you just squeeze the skin and then put it in. You can't feel it genuinely. Oh, next time I'm doing it, I'm gonna facetime you and show you god, I actually always feel a bit queasy talking about needles well, you're the one that asked you, dumbass I know, but I'm just I yeah, I personally can do that.

Speaker 2 15:51

I'd rather just take the pill but you've had needles in your face before I have.

Speaker 1 15:57

Yes, when I had botox once about two years ago, yeah, but talking about um botox and procedures like that, I actually came across this thing called the vampire facelift have you heard of this?

Speaker 2 16:08

no, I have no. That sounds right up your street.

Speaker 1 16:11

You love halloween, but that's terrifying I love halloween and I'd like to have a young face, but uh, yeah, I don't know if I could do this. So it's this new facelift that has come about, where they um, basically the whole idea is it's non-surgical facelift and what they do is they take blood from your arm and then they mix it with plasma and then inject it in your face and it's meant to give you the the kind of um end look of a facelift, but without having all the cuts and needles and stitches and things, but still needles, still needles, yeah, okay, but a mix of your blood. Apparently, it's like the blood from your arm like freshens the blood in your face or something like that.

Speaker 2 16:47

Hence why it's the vampire facelift because it's about putting blood into you, yeah, wow, I don't know how I feel about them. Like taking blood out of part of my body, yeah. Mixing it with anything, yeah, and then putting it back in, yeah, I think once blood is out your body, I don't know if it should go back in, do you know?

Speaker 2 17:14

what I mean, even if you have, like, a blood transfusion, they like they clean the blood and then put it back into you. They don't like put it in a cup, stir in. You know some magic.

Speaker 1 17:25

Magic plasma. Yeah, just a plasma, wow. But yeah, that's the vampire facelift. That's the new trend, along with a Zen pic that people are doing at the moment.

Speaker 2 17:35

I mean, maybe it's a good time to throw out to our listeners and ask if any of you have ever had any of these things.

Speaker 2 17:38

If you're on a zen pic, if you obviously, if you have questions, ask away. If you've had this vampire facelift, yeah, I would love to know the effects and how that was, but literally anything at all like we're really open to talk about these things. Let's be honest, all of us, including you at home, we are not getting any younger. We are not, no, and we've got to keep up with you know, maybe we don't. Actually, I was going to say we have to keep up with society and how people look, but maybe we should just age gracefully. I mean, you already have aged.

Speaker 1 18:04

I was waiting for that. I knew it was coming. See, this is what a Zempic does for you it makes you a nasty little bitch.

Speaker 2 18:10

That wasn't the Zempic honey. Wow, vampire face. But yeah, please write in. Wow, vampire faces, but yeah, please write in. If you've heard any of these procedures done, recommend them. Don't recommend them, write in to us. We'd love to hear from you. So, podcasters, we've done a section a little bit like this before, but this is a brand new one that we like to call Queer Diary and yes, brad did come up with that name. Let's all give him a round of applause for being witty and clever for the first time in his life.

Speaker 1 18:42

Thank you so much, everyone. I actually felt really proud of that Queer Diary, queer Diary.

Speaker 2 18:51

Just leaving a pause to really let everyone soak that in. So yeah, it's called Queer Diary. We're going to put it on the Instagram, but every week we're going to bring up a little question or some advice or something from somebody at home, something that's happened in their life, and we will talk about it, basically. So we put it out on Instagram. We've had quite a few replies come in and, brad, if you want to read out this week's Queer Diary, I want it in your best diary voice, like this person's diary has come to life, uh-huh, and you were voicing it.

Speaker 1 19:18

I mean not that you'd ever be given the job of voicing anything, but here we go now I always think like, um, a queer diary voice is like very uh, questioning, so that's the voice I'm going to go with.

Speaker 2 19:29

Do you know what? I just want you to do? Whatever comes to you, okay, go queer diary.

Speaker 1 19:37

Why are gays disdainful on Grindr? I'm going to try that again.

Speaker 2 19:43

No, we're keeping that in.

Speaker 1 19:44

Okay, we're going to go for a take two.

Speaker 2 19:46

I thought it would be an audition panel. Okay, we're going to go for a second time.

Speaker 1 19:51

It's because there's some words in here that are not in my vocabulary that I'm having to.

Speaker 2 19:53

Because you weren't educated.

Speaker 1 19:54

I'm having to kind of read on the spot, so, and having to kind of read on the spot, so let's go.

Speaker 2 19:58

Take two Are you not good at getting your mouth around things?

Speaker 1 20:01

No complaints so far, especially not from your dad.

Speaker 2 20:03

Many complaints that one time that we went on a date, but you know.

Speaker 1 20:10

Let's go Queer diary. Why are gays disdainful on Grindr? Why the dichotomy in between public and in-act interactions?

Speaker 2 20:21

You ran out of breath there.

Speaker 1 20:22

Oh my goodness, dichotomy. So I actually had to Google what that word was. I hadn't heard of that word before, but it means the contrast.

Speaker 2 20:29

Okay. So basically in layman's terms for everyone at home, this person is asking why are gays so weird on Grindr? They, why are gays so weird on Grindr? They're either really lovely and want to marry you or they literally want you to wait ass up face down door open. Fucking go, don't talk to me ever again.

Speaker 1 20:43

Yeah, is that what you're saying Basically? Yeah, why the contrast? If we're saying in person, it's like you don't talk to these people like this in person.

Speaker 2 20:54

Oh, this is a really good point now I mean, I have gone up to people in clubs and said similar things, have you? I mean not like that, no, and not in a nasty sense. But yeah, I have gone out to people that have like been giving me the eyes and been like trying to go away from me in the bathroom I'll come find you in two minutes, but that's not nasty that's not nasty.

Speaker 1 21:12

No, it's kind of kinky.

Modern Dating and Social Interaction

Speaker 2 21:13

Um, yeah, this is a good point. Actually, I was talking to you about this this morning and in our little gays group. I don't think it's just Grindr, I think Tinder, hinge, all these gay open dating platforms. I think some people Listen. I think dating at the moment is really difficult. I think, since lockdown, dating has really, really changed.

Speaker 1 21:35

In what sense?

Speaker 2 21:36

I think people got so used to talking through social media and being able to edit what they were saying before it just like naturally either came out their mouth or like doing videos they could watch it. Do it again, whack a filter on, change their teeth, like they could just they could control how they were seen. I think since lockdown now people have almost forgotten how to have natural, polite interactions with other humans. That's just me. I don't know how you feel about it.

Speaker 1 22:03

To be honest, I don't know, because I've not really been on the dating scene for a little while. So, uh, I think from what you're saying and some of our other gay friends, it feels like it's a whole different minefield yeah, it just feels like I don't know, it's a really hard one to talk about because obviously everyone is very different.

Speaker 2 22:18

But I personally find that on these apps maybe just not grinder for one second, I'll come back to that things like tinder and hinge, where they're not apps known for just hookups, they've definitely become more of a hookup app, right, and people will just like either just be really nasty off the get-go, like, oh hey, what'd you do for work? You might tell them and they'll be like, oh, actually, I have no interest in hearing about that, sorry, and we'll unmatch you. Yeah, that hasn't happened to me, but it has happened to someone I know wow yeah, quite often with my actor friends.

Speaker 2 22:46

As soon as they say they're an actor, people are like I'm sorry, I don't date actors and unswipe.

Speaker 1 22:53

But you just don't say it in that like blunt terms.

Speaker 2 22:56

Yeah, I mean I remember talking to my brother, who's straight, a long time ago about dating apps and he just said I disagree with them like, flatly, I would never. He's married with kids now, you know, but he said I would never use them. I just don't understand how you can start off a relationship where you've just seen a picture of someone and you've matched off that picture.

Speaker 1 23:16

That is a really fair comment. Yeah, you're basically looking on face value, aren't you?

Speaker 2 23:20

Yeah.

Speaker 1 23:20

And, of course, we all know pictures can be edited, filtered. You're obviously going to put on the best picture of you that might not fully represent how you look in general, right? Yeah, that's why back in the day, when I was on Hinge a couple of years ago, I really liked Hinge because it wasn't just about pictures. When I was on Hinge a couple of years ago, I really liked Hinge because it wasn't just about pictures. There was all funny things you could write about your personality and what you're into. I felt like the profile was more well-rounded, gave you a little sense of everything, and you could do things like voice notes. You could hear the person speak. You could put up little videos of you.

Speaker 2 23:52

Would you want people to hear you speak? Yeah, Hello my love.

Speaker 1 23:55

But yeah, hello, my love. But then at least you knew what that person sounded like. You could form like a better image of them in your mind.

Speaker 2 24:02

Yeah.

Speaker 1 24:03

Whereas on something like Tinder and it was just a few pictures and like a little bit of text, that for me wasn't really giving me much about that person.

Speaker 2 24:10

Very true, and I think, yeah, that is a good point, but I think the gay world is such a minefield though, right, but going back to Grindr, which is what this person wrote in about, yeah.

Speaker 1 24:20

If I was on Grindr. I kind of expect not that this is right or wrong kind of expect the language to maybe be a bit more crude and Grindr is very much a hookup app. Yeah, hookup app yeah.

Speaker 2 24:30

Yes, very true, although I do. I'll be honest what are you on here for? That's always like the first question that comes up with most people, like what are you looking for? Yeah, and I do get some people saying like, oh, actually probably like dates, friends, for benefits, but no agenda. And it's like when I find people that I'm like oh, that's actually quite refreshing to be on this app, which is kind of like it's forward, a bit more open. You've obviously got literally albums and pictures of your nudes ready to go like. It's not like like Tinder where you have to move to WhatsApp. If it gets that stage, you could literally open up the app and bam bam, there it is. For me.

Speaker 2 25:03

I quite like that because I don't want to date anybody who's prudish. Although people say I am, I'm definitely not. I don't want to have to work really hard at breaking ice. So actually sometimes if I'm on Grindr and someone says they're looking for a relationship, I actually quite like that because they already know they're on Grindr, so they clearly do random hookups. They're clearly kind of open, probably quite content with themselves, but they're open to other things. But then there are a lot of people that are just people wanting to fulfill kinks. People wanting to yeah, it's a weird one. I don't actually like the app.

Speaker 1 25:42

Funny enough, this morning I logged out of it and I haven't logged back in, and for me not being on the app for like six hours, that's kind of good for me, right? Yeah, because I do have a couple of gay friends who have had relationships with people they've met on grinder. So they met us like a sort of in a hookup situation and they were like, oh, we get really well, we're gonna maybe go for a date, etc. Um, so I'm not saying that grinder, you can from Grindr, because I know people that that's happened to, but I think, generally speaking, if you're on Grindr, it's because you're looking for a hookup. So I do think the language sometimes is a bit more this is what I want, this is you know right now, this is what I'm into, et cetera, et cetera, whereas I feel like maybe Tinder and Hinge it's a bit more kind of datey vibes. But you had a very odd interaction on Tinder today, which I think is in reference to what this person was talking about.

Speaker 2 26:26

Yeah, with Discord? Yeah, because, yes, I matched with somebody. I then because I completed the match. I'm always like if I complete the match I will message first. So I just messaged like, hey, how are you doing? Did you have a good weekend? I know that's a very boring reply, but opening question, but whatever, just did their first message back. Not great, getting over the fact my granddad died. Next message straight away what about you? Next question are you top or bottom?

Speaker 1 26:52

Those two just don't join up in conversation. How do you reply to that? But I think this is what this person's saying, right, like the join up in conversation. How do you reply to that? But I think this is what this person's saying, right, like the, the kind of contrast if you met that person in real life at a bar, uh or wherever, yeah and uh.

Speaker 1 27:03

You know, chat is like oh you know, I'm having a bit of a shit time. My granddad just died at the weekend. You then don't go into, by the way you top or bottom well, this is what I mean about through lockdown.

Speaker 2 27:11

I think people are much more confident typing than talking in real life yeah, yeah, yeah I I would actually find it so refreshing if I went into a club and I went up to like a group of like younger, just go with me with this. Okay, younger like good looking, doesn't matter, they're like twinkie looking guys and just was like hey guys, how's your week going? Straight away they'd be like why is this guy? Well, probably be like why is this guy randomly talking to us? Yeah, it wouldn't be like oh cute, someone trying to make friends. I'm not necessarily coming over because I want to sleep with you.

Speaker 2 27:39

We're in a club to begin with, or in a bar. Why can't we just like make friends? And actually on nights out where I have managed to get over that sort of boundary of why is this stranger talking to me? Do they want to hook up with me? Do I need to make it clear that I'm not trusted anyone that I've actually managed to get to like a friendship level I've kept in touch with? Yeah. So yeah, it's. It's a, it's a strange one and I I know I've said this before and I'll say it again I do feel like the younger gay scene. A they don't realize how good they've got it these days. And b they're just not very what's the word. They're not very open to uh socializing with other gay people that they haven't come out with I don't think.

Speaker 1 28:20

But is that because younger generation generally are?

Speaker 2 28:24

if I'm looking for dating, I'll be on dating apps yeah, maybe I don't know or they're literally just out there for a shag and if you come talk to them and you are not their type, they will not give you the time of day.

Speaker 1 28:33

Possibly that yeah, yeah, but no, I totally agree. The language used on apps apps in real life is so different. Yeah, the thing about Grindr. I would say if you're on Grindr, you kind of expect that. Not whether that's right or wrong, I just think that is what the app is about. Generally speaking, I think if you're on Tinder and using that sort of language, you should just make it obvious in your profile that you're just there for hookups. Don't try and like lead people on by saying I'm on a dating app but I'm not really bothered about the dating yeah like that guy who wrote to you and basically straight in, there was top or bottom.

Speaker 1 29:05

So yeah, I think it's just about being honest about what you're after, right very true.

Speaker 2 29:09

The one good thing about other apps not grinder is grinder. I hate the fact that you can see who's online. I really don't like that, because you are. If you are talking to someone, they're like oh, let's go for a date. And then they're like anyway, I'm off to bed. I'll speak to you tomorrow. I'm like cute, no worries. Then you go on the app an hour later and they're still online.

Speaker 1 29:24

Right yeah.

Speaker 2 29:25

Yeah, it's like wait, it's like it's not saying that I'm a human, like a massively jealous person, but I do get it when I when people aren't honest and stuff, so I don't know. I know I've contradicted myself so much here. I want people to be honest, but I don't want them to be honest what do you want, benji?

Speaker 1 29:57

listen.

Speaker 2 29:57

This is why I'm sat here very, very single. Who the hell knows what I want? But um, oh, be right back well, listen here.

Speaker 1 30:08

Podcasters. Tell us that we are wrong. Tell us that there is more to life on grinder than what we know in london tell us there's hope out there. Have any of you made any great friendships from Grindr? Has any of you got any amazing relationships, any boyfriends, et cetera, from Grindr? Let us know, and let us know that there is hope out there in the dating app world.

Speaker 2 30:29

Yeah, for little old me over here with my pink red ball and no one to go home to but my air con. And no one to go home to but my air con, which to be honest, you love the air con, I really love my air con.

Speaker 2 30:40

But listen, we're going to come to the end of this episode. However, brad and I would just like to say that very recently, we celebrated a very exciting day. It was, in fact, on the 1st of July, our four-year birthday. Happy, happy, happy birthday, baby. Happy birthday to you, you. Four year anniversary of me putting up with bradley on my big gay podcast. My big gay podcast has just turned four years old this month and we just want to say a real quick thank you for everyone that supports us from the beginning, those of you that have found us recently and have messaged in to say you've gone right back to season one and listened to us way back when, in lockdown, little benji in his bedroom four stone heavier recording before you know, we even put our faces to the podcast, talking about things that we well I at the time would probably never really have shared, especially on a public platform.

Speaker 2 31:35

So, yeah, thank you for giving me that freedom, uh, to be myself more and to be more unapologetically me. So that went really deep.

Speaker 1 31:43

I didn't actually mean it to, no, but I love that but I always say to you, doing the podcast with you and for everyone and all our listeners, um, for me it's been like therapy, just like airing stuff off my chest, like, you know, whinging about the world or celebrating the world. You know this wonderful queer community that we're a part of and I just think it's amazing. And going back to season one, it's like what RuPaul says the season one filter, oh my goodness.

Speaker 1 32:06

We had no idea what we were doing. Just me and you in our little bedrooms on Zoom, in lockdown, trying to figure out how to do a podcast.

Speaker 2 32:13

And here we are, and and what's really funny, leading on from dating apps, is we actually did meet on a date. We did which we forgot to mention, and then look at us. We stayed in touch, we started a podcast and now we know each other far too well.

Speaker 1 32:24

Who would have thought that? And that was on Tinder, right?

Speaker 2 32:26

That was on Tinder and I literally ghosted you for quite a few months.

Speaker 1 32:31

And now look, look at us here in our little podcast studio having a wonderful time.

Speaker 2 32:34

So, yeah, thank you to everyone, but, like I said, that is all we have time for on this week's episode of my big game podcast. If you don't follow our Instagram or our brand new TikTok, please do go. We are going to start putting out content. Wish us luck with what comes out. I actually don't know. I'm still trying to figure out how to use TikTok and Brad is still figuring out how to even download TikTok. So bear with us. But yeah, go and give us a follow, give us a a like, share some stuff to us. We want to hear from you.

Speaker 1 32:59

And there are so many ways that you can get in touch with us. You can drop us a little DM, drop us an email, you can give us a voice note, and the exciting thing is now that we're in our brand new studio. Whoa we can do call-ins.

Speaker 2 33:22

So if you've got a little freeway with benji and brad, yes, you can, but like I said podcasters.

Speaker 1 33:26

That is all we have time for on this week's episode, until next time see you next wednesday.

Speaker 2 33:29

So, mate, I actually think you should get the vampire facelift are you saying that my face needs a facelift? No, no, no. No, I'm not being nasty, I just with a name like vampire facelift. I would just hope that it would improve your sucking skills.

Speaker 1 33:44

They do not need improving. Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 33:47

No, but they are a bit toothy.

Speaker 1 33:56

Nash.