S6. Ep 12. Two Gays and the Cabin Crew Call

Ever wondered if gifting sweets to flight attendants could score you a free drink? This week, Benji and I, Brad, share personal tales of in-flight adventures, including unexpected perks and quirky connections with flight crews. We explore the dry air struggles and seating preference debates, along with a memorable post-flight escapade at Clapham's vibrant Two Brewers—an evening that sparked a humorous discussion about the best time to hit London's nightlife.

What happens when a love triangle is mistakenly announced over a plane's intercom? We've got you covered with a hilarious recap of an airborne faux pas, complete with a quick-thinking save that left the passengers amused. Plus, get ready for a real-life "Sliding Doors" moment as I recount a strangely familiar encounter with a new acquaintance who seemed to step right out of my past into my present.

And if you've ever felt the chaos of introducing your partner to your family, you're not alone. Tackling themes of family acceptance and wedding invitations, we share listener Johnny's heartfelt story alongside our own experiences, blending humor with empathy. We wrap things up with some festive cheer, discussing Christmas chaos, winter birthdays, and even the concept of a "backup" marriage pact with a friend, ensuring you'll be entertained and perhaps a little more prepared for life's unexpected twists.

Transcript

Flight Attendants and London Nightlife

Speaker 1 0:00

Sit still.

Speaker 2 0:01

I'm trying to get comfy on this chair.

Speaker 1 0:04

I'm on the same chair and I'm fine.

Speaker 2 0:05

I know, but I like to sit, sometimes cross-legged, sometimes my feet up, feet down. I mean, I've got my legs crossed today. I feel like I'm on a chat show right now.

Speaker 1 0:14

Okay, right, christ. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of my Big Gay Podcast with me Benji, and me Brad, giving you the.

Speaker 2 0:47

Why do you pull that face every time I say my name?

Speaker 1 0:50

It's just, your voice goes straight through me, so carry on.

Speaker 2 0:53

With me, Brad, giving you the life, the loves and the lols of living in London.

Speaker 1 1:00

Two gays, one city. What could possibly go wrong? Oh my goodness. So my throat actually is really sore at the moment.

Speaker 2 1:10

Is it why?

Speaker 1 1:11

I don't actually know. I feel like I've been on quite a lot of aeroplanes recently and I feel like the air con on it just drives you out. And the last two planes I've got they've hurried us onto the plane, closed the door and then gone. We're actually going to be sat here for like an hour, hour and a half. That's so annoying, so annoying. All that like recycled air just um too much. And you don't get free, free stuff on flights anymore, not short ones, really, no, I mean. So one of the flights was easy jet, where you get nothing, I mean you barely get a seat.

Speaker 1 1:41

The other one was ba and I was kind of half expecting yeah, ba right, yeah, yeah yeah, no, they went around with glasses of tap water and then little like, um, they're not even peanuts anymore, because you can't have peanuts, of course yeah, I don't know what, like corn, like popped crunchy corn yeah, corn kernel things which were delicious and they were free, but um, it wasn't quite. You know the bomb bay gin and tonic that I was secretly wanting for free Wanted?

Speaker 2 2:04

yeah, for sure. Yeah, I mean little trick. If you go on a long-haul flight and when you go through the airport bit, is it security? Is that what it's called?

Speaker 1 2:12

You do have to go through security. Yeah, yeah, that bit. That's normally the places that pat you down for coke up your bum.

Speaker 2 2:16

Never been caught once.

Speaker 1 2:25

It's because your arse is like a cavern and it's so high up sucked in.

Speaker 2 2:27

Yeah, they need like a full-on, like search light, like a head torch looking in there, hello, hello, hello, hello. There's that titanic is anybody alive in there? I mean you joke but no, I'm gonna give you a little tip for when you're on the flights.

Speaker 2 2:42

Next, if you're doing long haul flight. If, if you, when you go for security, you know you go to the shops and you can buy, like bottled water or whatever. If you buy big bags of Haribo or chocolate when the flight is up, go to the back of the galley, give it to the flight attendants, be like I know how hard you work, got you a bit of sugar just to get you through the flight.

Speaker 1 3:05

Free drinks, the flight, free drinks.

Speaker 2 3:07

Yeah, I feel like you've said this before, but my friend works for ba and I said this to them and they were like no, it's not true, it's happened to me three times.

Speaker 2 3:11

Oh, and my friend went for ba and told me about it. That's how I know about the trick, because flight attendants they don't get like good food and so they really crave things like chocolate or sweets, especially if it's long-haul flights. They just want the sugar and the energy to like, get them through the flight, etc. So if you do that, they're obviously really grateful, and when I flew to new york last year I did that. I know it's a bit kiss arsey, but also fair play. They work really hard, don't they? The flight attendants? Um, the woman, she was so nice, she kept coming over asking if I wanted anything.

Speaker 2 3:38

She gave me extra alcohol for free and you know the little bottles yeah when we were leaving, she gave me some to put in my bag to be like.

Speaker 1 3:45

I'll take those and have a good night yeah, because I have heard they don't do stock counts for the miniatures, right.

Speaker 2 3:50

Yeah, so just gave it away and because I gave the sweets, I then ended up chatting to her and some of the other flight attendants and sort of you know, was asking about their lives and, like, made some mates, and then I bumped into them in new york and then we all had a drink. Oh yeah, small world, small little world. So take care of your flight attendants and they'll take care of you. That's my little tip from me to you. You're welcome.

Speaker 1 4:12

Thank you so much for that.

Speaker 2 4:15

And speaking of flight attendants you will not believe this. I ended up having an after party at mine a couple of days ago and some flight attendants came along. What, why so? I was in a little place in clapham called the two brewers. You may or may not have heard of it. I have heard of it and I was there on a sunday. Now can I tell you no, no, no.

Speaker 1 4:35

You can't steal this from me. I'm the one that goes around saying this I'm the one that goes around saying this you are a liar and a thief. You've stolen it from me. I know you're gonna You're going to go around saying the best night to do brewers is a Sunday night.

Speaker 2 4:46

I have been saying that for years.

Speaker 1 4:48

No, you have not. You have not. I used to say either Friday or Sunday, never Saturday.

Speaker 2 4:53

Never Saturday too busy.

Speaker 1 4:54

Never Saturday. Friday is still good, but still gets a little bit too busy yeah.

Speaker 2 5:05

Sunday is where it's that sunday, I love it. And also you get a lot of local people out on a sunday, yeah, and so that's when you'll end up chatting to people and go to yeah, yeah, you can actually make friends there because it's not too full.

Speaker 1 5:11

Yeah, love it. So, anyway, you made friends with some flight attendants and they came back to your house yeah, not just flight attendants, like a few other peeps as well.

Speaker 2 5:17

All right, you got loads of friends together and bianca del rio was there that night in two Brewers.

Speaker 1 5:22

Oh, because she was doing her, her show in London, her show, yeah.

Speaker 2 5:26

So it was like, oh my goodness, that's Bianca Del Rio. Just sat in the corner having a gay old time in Two Brewers on a Sunday.

Speaker 1 5:30

Love it, love that.

Strange Love Triangle Discovery

Speaker 2 5:31

Anyway. So I got to chat with these flight attendants. They work for Virgin Flights and of course I was like getting all the gossip finding out all about. Told me this hilarious story again long-haul flight and, uh, at some point in the long-haul flight the flight attendants or most of them can go and have a little nap for a few hours before breakfast arrives or whatever. So what happens is they'll go upstairs. They've got their own like beds, they'll have a nap and then whoever's on shift then wakes them up half hour before breakfast so they can go get ready, get touched up, go and serve all the breakfast for everyone. And they've got like an announcer thing that's just upstairs for their section. And this guy on the announcer went to wake up the flight attendants and said Wake up, you cunts, it's time to feed the pigs.

Speaker 2 6:15

And what happened? Clicked on the wrong button and it went to the whole plane.

Speaker 1 6:20

Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 2 6:21

That is something you would do. Absolutely. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 6:24

So what did they do?

Speaker 2 6:25

So all the passengers heard this and then someone else quickly jumped onto the intercom thing and was like bing bong. Could we just remind all passengers that the intercom is for staff only and not for passengers.

Speaker 1 6:37

Oh clever, smart, you wouldn't have thought to do that.

Speaker 2 6:39

No, I'd have been like I'm so sorry everyone.

Speaker 1 6:46

Can I been like? I'm so sorry everyone. Can I have your attention?

Speaker 2 6:47

wake up, maggie maggie at the back. You hear me darling, that was me. Yeah, I called you all pigs, I didn't mean it.

Speaker 1 6:49

I did use the c words I did that didn't come out. My mouth now. I'm probably gonna lose my job in this plane lands. I am sorry so free chin for everyone, just for a laugh oh my goodness, what a great story, though that is so funny and very good cover up so whoever? Thought of that genius yeah, well, I mean, it makes me feel like it's happened before yeah, it must do.

Speaker 2 7:11

That must be like the go to thing, like if they go on the wrong intercom, cover it up.

Speaker 1 7:15

Pretend it was a drunk passenger on the plane that is literally like the flight attendant version of like sending nudes to a colleague.

Speaker 2 7:22

Oh, yes, yeah. And then covering up like oh, my friend did that.

Speaker 1 7:24

Trying to cover it up. I don't know how you can these days, but yeah, my friend did that. Oh yeah, sorry.

Speaker 2 7:30

My friend sent me pictures of my gaping hole. Why is he gaping? I?

Speaker 1 7:34

don't know, it's your phone, wowza.

Speaker 2 7:39

So, yeah, shout out to all the Virgin Flight attendants there and I hope you're having a lovely old time up in the sky.

Speaker 1 7:51

Okay, so again, I've been away recently. Like I said, I've been on and off planes. I was back at home and I have to tell you this story because I'm still not entirely sure what is going on, but I feel like it's somewhere between Did you watch the I think it's gwyneth paltrow the film sliding doors? Yes, yes, and you also know the movie groundhog day yes okay.

Speaker 1 8:12

So I feel like this story is somewhere between the two of those scenarios, right? So go with me on this. Last year, um, back near my hometown, I had this like regular guy that I met out with right To let off steam. And when I say regular, like it was once, like maybe once a week, once a fortnight, blah, blah, blah. But we actually chat in between as well and he was a really nice guy. His English wasn't great, but that actually made the conversation funnier and like I was helping him with English and he was like teaching. Anyway, it was quite sweet. I actually enjoyed talking to him. He was living by himself in this like one bed flat in town. He'd been very honest with me and told me like he's very discreet, he's not like fully out, yeah, which is, you know, it's the norm, I think, for a lot of people still sadly. But, um, I went with it, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 8:58

He then, sadly, on one of my last meets, was like oh, just that, you know, I'm actually I'm moving back to portugal for a bit. I was like oh, do you know when you're gonna come back? He's like, oh, I don't know. Um, I was like okay, cool, anyway, seven, eight months have gone past. Now, right, uh-huh, this time back home chatting to a guy, chat, chat, chat, chat again, english wasn't great, but was a good vibe. He's like, yeah, do you want to come over? I was like, yeah, sure, like I'll come over, it's come over. I was like whatever, fine. I was like what's your address? He was like oh, it's this road name. So I was like, oh, I know this road name. So I went to the road, messaged him like I'm on the road. He was like oh, this is my number. I was like okay, so I'm there outside, like, huh, is this the first guy that I used to see? He's now using different pictures because he's discreet and he's forgotten that he knows me.

Speaker 2 9:49

Yes, that's what I'm thinking, or is this a?

Speaker 1 9:51

computer. So I was like waiting on the street and he was like, oh, come to the door. And I was like, no, no, no, he was legit, this guy, he was who he says he was. I've never met him before. Yeah, it's like, okay, fine, really attracted.

Speaker 1 10:11

By the way, did you say I've been to this house before? No, of course I didn't. Okay, wait, wait for it. All right, so I go in, then go into his room and I'm like this is a very strange, very strange scenario. I have been in this room with a different guy and everything is the same. Wait, everything is the same. So I was looking around same pictures on the wall and then I was like, okay, maybe they're like nailed on and it comes with the, it comes fully furnished. You know, maybe that's. It's like the bed's in the same place, couch in the same place. He keeps the bag for life bag, like the bag of bags for life. The same place. The other guy. I was like this is really weird, it is literally the same setup as the previous guy had it. Then I looked to the bedside table. Next to the bed Picture, wait for it. The previous guy had this massive glass vase thing, and I mean huge Like glass bucket of golf balls, which I always thought was slightly weird.

Speaker 1 10:55

Yeah, that's a very odd thing, yeah, I didn't see golf clubs, I just saw this massive, anyway the exact same vase. So there was me like, okay, maybe it's like because they were both Portuguese, maybe it's like a I don't know, maybe they've got like a flat share going on and they just like they use it seasonally. I don't, I don't really know. I'm not really thinking about it too much. I was, my mind was kind of elsewhere. Other things were happening at the time. I wasn't really thinking about it.

Speaker 1 11:19

Anyway, finish with this guy. We finished doing the, we had a little chat and he was like, oh, I just to say like I'm really discreet. I was like yeah, yeah, no, I get it. Lots of people, just great. He was like, no, I've got a boyfriend. And I was like, oh, really, is he coming home? He's like no, no, he doesn't live here, he does back at home in portugal. And I was like, oh, has he been over before? He was like yeah, yeah, he comes to the island now. And then I was like right, then I looked down the side, next to this glass vase, and there is a picture but it's a silhouette picture of him and whoever the other guy is and it's too dark to really see his face, but what I have now come to put together is that these two guys are boyfriends and you've fucked both of them secretly.

Speaker 1 11:58

Yeah, you're a homewrecker no, I have not wrecked any home, but it was so weird like I was thinking this is a very strange situation, why is everything all the same? And I wasn't really so. I looked at the picture and then he was like, oh, I'm really discreet, please don't tell anyone. You've been here like blah, blah, blah, yeah. I was like, oh, I know what's happened yeah, for sure yeah so they don't know that.

Speaker 1 12:19

They know that, you know that there's one literally, it's like yeah, it's like the weirdest triangle. Yeah, I don't know how I get myself into these situations. Genuinely, I don't. What are the chances of it being in the exact same flat?

Speaker 2 12:32

and you're just there for a good time listen, I'm just doing my own thing flying solo literally yeah, wow wow, oh, my goodness. I just thought of an odd moment. Imagine if you're in Jersey and the two boys are there and they're in like a cafe and you're in the same cafe and they both turn and look and in their heads they're both going to be thinking like, oh, I've had sex with that guy but my boyfriend doesn't know.

Family Acceptance and Wedding Invitations

Speaker 1 12:55

Yeah, they'll both be thinking the same thing, Same thing yeah, and then you could be like oh, hey, hey. Oh, my goodness, can you imagine? I mean, they couldn't really be angry at each other. No, they each other. No, they've both done the same thing. Yeah, maybe they can just open it and then you have a three-way. I don't know. The whole thing made me feel very stretched.

Speaker 2 13:15

I sort of drove home like kind of very spaced out, like what, what have I done?

Speaker 1 13:16

literally, yeah, yeah, how bizarre is that you do get around, you don't you? I do think that's fair. I feel like I bring out the worst of my situations on the podcast for like well, to give everyone a laugh at home, to make people's days a little bit brighter. I'm not like this all the time, but this is yeah that is quite an interesting situation I mean this podcast isn't me like. So for dinner last night I cooked a lovely like butterfly chicken that's not the podcast.

Speaker 2 13:39

It's not the podcast.

Speaker 1 13:40

It's about what goes wrong with being gay in london? Yeah, and that's one thing that went really really wrong. And with you I feel like London. Yeah, and that's one thing that went really, really wrong.

Speaker 2 13:47

And with you I feel like that happens every week.

Speaker 1 13:49

Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 13:52

Does anything ever go right?

Speaker 1 13:54

I feel like I have overshared an awful lot recently. I feel like the last two seasons has just been about Benji's misfortune.

Speaker 2 14:01

Yeah, I feel like it's your turn, oh no Life gave me lots of misfortunes early on. I'm ready to like have a nice life now. I've done my time.

Speaker 1 14:10

I've done my misfortune.

Speaker 2 14:11

I feel like you're a bit slack, and I'm not joking about your ass ever since I told you that I had a sandy crack once you, you've been obsessed with my ass again shandy, shandy, yeah, slack crack.

Speaker 1 14:37

So, podcasters, it is that time of the weekend where we share other people's misfortunes or fortunes with uh, all of you love it. It's time to take the spotlight of us and our tragic love lives and stories and start to share some of yours.

Speaker 2 14:53

And what is this section called?

Speaker 1 14:55

We still haven't got a good jingle Queer Diary. I mean it actually goes straight through. I feel a bit icky doing it every week.

Speaker 2 15:01

Yeah, do a new one. New jingle Three. Two, do a new one. New jingle 3, 2, 1, go Queer Diary.

Speaker 1 15:06

Great love it yeah, we'll workshop that if anyone at home makes jingles for a living oh yeah, please, queer Diary jingle, we'd love it please send us in a Queer Diary jingle.

Speaker 1 15:20

If it's good, we will steal it. So earlier on this year, when we weren't currently recording, when I was taking some well-earned time away from brad, um, somebody wrote in we're gonna, we're gonna call him johnny for the purpose of this conversation. Johnny wrote in uh and shared a story which, sadly, we missed because we weren't. We didn't catch it in our inbox, um, but anyway, we found it now and we're just going to share it with you because we've had, uh, a bit more to the story has come through very recently. Yes, and yeah, we're going to share the whole thing. I'm going to start reading it to give you context. So Johnny said hey, guys, so I came out as gay when I was 17. And that was the same time you had sex on the beach.

Speaker 2 15:57

It was.

Speaker 1 15:58

Yeah, See, I listened to you Sorry this is not about you has never accepted me or been willing to meet any of my boyfriends in the past. That's very difficult. Yeah, it's a very difficult thing to try and comprehend. I am now 41 it's your age and in a relationship where I would like him to come to family events, but I don't know how to approach the subject. Family has offered to speak to him for me, but I'm not sure if I should do it myself, as I think I it may help our relationship, but I also don't want to damage it. What do you guys think? Okay? So firstly, johnny, I'm so sorry that we missed this.

Speaker 1 16:32

This is a very like heartfelt message and for me, speaking from my point of view, I have my own struggles with my own family life and, being gay, I live my life much more how I want to live it. Um, and I have taken boyfriends home in the past, but I have always found it slightly. It's never been as inviting as I would have liked, but I've always been able to and I've not received any like backlash for it. So I'm really sorry that you feel that way. Um, I mean, you've taken boys home to me yeah, very recently.

Speaker 2 17:05

I, me and my mom are super close. I don't know if you have the same with your mom, but I feel like a lot of gay boys get on really well with their moms. Generally speaking, I think that's a bit of a stereotype. I'm definitely one of those people mommy's boy a little bit, yeah.

Speaker 1 17:16

Yeah, I mean I'm a mommy's boy, but actually in this scenario where you're going, I'm definitely my dad's way more like, yeah, cool, I don't mind like whatever. Like just as long as you're happy and safe, I don't really mind, I don't what does your mum think about you being gay?

Speaker 1 17:29

my mum will always refer to if I've been through a breakup and she knows and she's met them and then knows I've broken up. My sister's been like Ben's really down at the moment because oh, I'm Ben back at home, by the way. Um, ben's just down because obviously he's getting through a breakup. My mum will refer to them as my friend, like, yeah, are you missing your friend? Sure, have you spoken to your friend? It's never boyfriend or anything like that.

Speaker 2 17:50

I don't think she's ever used the word boyfriend can you imagine you getting married and your mum being there and be like oh, that's Benji's husband.

Speaker 1 17:57

I think, no, being honest, no, uh-huh, and I think, as and when I settle down into a relationship and I get married, if I get married, a marriage for me is always a thing that is very circumstantial. And when I settle down into a relationship and I get married, if I get married, a marriage for me is always a thing that is very circumstantial. And if I feel like it's right between the two of us, we'll do it, and if I don't feel like I need it or we need it, it won't happen.

Speaker 2 18:14

I don't really mind getting married or not. Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 18:22

That's not a deal breaker for you, is it? No, not at all, and I don't mind. But if I did get married, I really would question if I would invite my family.

Speaker 2 18:30

Oh really, yeah, Even your dad. Your dad is so nice.

Speaker 1 18:34

Both my parents are absolutely lovely. I just, yeah, I don't know if I would. I don't know if I'd tell them, or I may say it's happening and see what they did, but I don't want them to feel uncomfortable. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable coming to my wedding, but equally, I do feel loved and accepted by them, so I don't feel like I would need them to be there. That sounds very strange. A lot of people are going to really disagree with this and a lot of people are going to be like no, I have to have my family there. I don't want to get married unless they are.

Speaker 1 19:03

But I think as I've grown older, I've learned what I want to get out of life yeah and I'm very much like a pick your battles person for sure and I know that my husband, boyfriend, fiance, whatever would be accepted to all christmases, sunday lunches like easters, all family occasions, birthdays and for me that's way more important than than coming to my marriage. My marriage is about being that other person that I love yeah, I don't really care about anyone else, I'll be honest, I probably wouldn't even invite you I'm gonna be best man.

Speaker 2 19:33

What are you talking about? I?

Speaker 1 19:34

got my speech ready. You're not getting any speech time give me the mic, nor are you organizing the stag? Do my goodness that'd be.

Speaker 2 19:43

I don't think I'd come out alive if you're not coming out on a stretcher at the end of your stag, do I've not done a good job?

Speaker 1 19:49

I'm not lying when I say a couple of us in our friendship circle have discussed what we would do for your stag do oh, I'm expecting to also come out in a stretcher on my stag. Do some of the things that have been around around the possibility list are wild. Yeah, I know it would be and I wouldn't expect anything less.

Speaker 2 20:04

I'll be honest, I'm not one of those people, and no offence if you do that. Everyone likes their own thing. I'm not someone that's going to go on my stag, do? We went to the Great British Bake Off and made cookies wait, you don't want to do that I don't want to do that oh dear that's not what I've got in mind for my stag day.

Speaker 1 20:24

What if it was making those cookies? But we were in Amsterdam.

Speaker 2 20:27

Then yes, it's a whole different type of cookie. Yes, sign me up for that one.

Speaker 1 20:31

Yeah, no, don't worry, cookie making is not on there. Yeah, I just yeah, I don't know. I think I've definitely come to the stage. I'm going to stop making this about me it's not about me but I've stopped planning ahead for certain things. Fine, and I'm very much like I'm just going to live my life as it unfolds and I'll deal with the issues when they arise. I'm not going to worry about something that hasn't happened yet.

Speaker 2 20:51

Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. I'll be honest, I like that. Yeah, thank you. And so with Johnny, he basically he's in this situation where. But the dad is offish in a nice way to say that right.

Speaker 1 21:06

Yeah, I would say from his message his dad is quite anti, not just offish anti.

Speaker 2 21:10

Oh, never accepted. Yeah, I just reread the message Never accepted or been willing to meet any of my boyfriends in the past.

Speaker 1 21:15

I would be interested to know if Johnny, if your dad, is still married to your mum or if your mum is still in the picture. Actually, yeah, you haven't mentioned your mum and I hope I'm not, you know, going somewhere that you didn't want to go, but like, I'll be interested to see what the family dynamic is already, but anyway, you sent a lovely message back. I did, and Johnny then got back to us, actually very, very recently. Yes, and do you want to read his reply?

Speaker 2 21:37

I will, yeah. So I just sent a little message being like oh, you know, this is a really shit situation. Really feel for you, basically your dad's loss. You know you've got nothing to lose. You might as well just say I would like this, but if that's not for you, don't worry, you know where you stand and you just live your life without. You know, as I said, dad's loss. But anyway, johnny messaged back with an update and he said hey guys. So I have an update. My boyfriend has officially met all the family.

Speaker 2 22:05

It's that time of year when it's everyone's birthdays and my sister-in-law invited my boyfriend to her meal. I chickened out speaking to my dad directly, as whenever I saw him I didn't want to spoil it or make things awkward, as I just don't see him that much. So we just decided to go with no big buildup. I was getting anxious whenever I said we'll be there. We get to the restaurant and my dad greets him with a handshake and a hug and later even actively had a conversation with him. After 24 years of hangups, it feels like a weight has finally been lifted. Thank you for your advice, guys.

Speaker 1 22:40

Oh, so cute.

Speaker 2 22:41

That just makes me feel so happy I'll be honest with you. That is what I really wanted from that outcome. Yeah, we all just want to be loved and accepted for who we are.

Speaker 1 22:49

right, yeah and yeah, I'm so, I'm so pleased that's where it went to. Sometimes I think with that older generation, it does just take them a little bit longer to get their head around things yeah now, johnny, I appreciate you said you came out at 17 you never talked about and you're now 41.

Speaker 1 23:03

That's a lot of time for him to get his head around it. I don't know if you were like mainly single during that time. We never really found someone that you were ready to introduce to your family, but I'm so pleased that your dad has finally sort of come around to it. I mean, we forget that actually their generation it was still. It was, depending on how old they are, still illegal yeah, it's not legal to get married to a guy.

Speaker 2 23:23

And obviously the same sort of era, I'm sure, as your parents, my mum grew up when it was the HIV crisis. I know and all it was was like oh, if you're gay, you will die, and you're going to hell and all those awful things they were saying. Yeah, you will die of this disease. Yeah, it was awful, so they've got to kind of unlearn all of that, those images and that narrative that was being pushed on them.

Speaker 1 23:41

Yeah, I mean listen, let's not look on the past and wonder why it took so long. Let's just appreciate that we've actually got here.

Speaker 2 23:48

Yes, we're here.

Speaker 1 23:50

Landed the plane, yeah, and now you have such a fun opportunity with your boyfriend who I assume is going very well with to integrate them with your family and, like, grow as one. It's really cute. I'm really happy for you, johnny. I think that's really sweet. I'm so happy. It's's nice to share that actually someone, some people do go through all this hardship and come out the other side for the better. So, yeah, thank you very much for sharing that, johnny. We've um.

Speaker 2 24:24

Genuinely, we really appreciate it as I say, we're so happy for you and this is just an exciting new chapter for you and your relationship with your dad and your family and with your partner, all involved as one.

Christmas Break and Birthday Stories

Speaker 1 24:33

Yes, so keep us posted, johnny, with how it goes and if there is a proposal, we would love an invite to the wedding. So, podcasters, we're coming very near the end of this episode and this is a really good time just to let you know that over the Christmas break, brad and I will be taking a very small, well-earned break from each other.

Speaker 2 24:57

Look, I'm taking a break from you.

Speaker 1 24:59

You think whatever you want, darling.

Speaker 2 25:01

I'm not picking up the phone for at least two weeks.

Speaker 1 25:04

Yeah, we will be taking a small break, so there won't be episodes for a couple to a few weeks. We yeah, we will be taking a small break, so there won't be episodes for a couple to a few weeks. We haven't decided exactly how long, but we're just going to try and get Christmas out the way. As you know, christmas gets quite crazy for me with work etc. And Brad sort of falls down K-holes. So, joking, joking, joking, joking, joking.

Speaker 2 25:20

It's snowing where I'm at.

Speaker 1 25:24

Oh, my goodness, it snows most weekends for you. So so, yeah, we will be taking a very small break, but do not panic. We will be back with the rest of season six before you know it have you got any fun holiday plans coming up?

Speaker 2 25:35

no, I can't believe we're talking about christmas already do you know what?

Speaker 1 25:38

I always wish for it to be out the way, because work is so stressful around christmas, and then it's done. I'm like oh and then we're to january it's your birthday, which sucks anyone else out there that has a birthday so close to Christmas. It really sucks. I mean, yours is quite close as well, I know, but I feel like mine's on the pre-Christmas side so you're still in the buzz.

Speaker 2 25:54

In the buzz, everyone's loving life. Christmas is coming up. It's just a magical vibe everyone's out doing their Christmas shopping.

Speaker 1 26:00

People are factored in spending for your birthday because it's before Christmas. Mine happens like January when everyone's back at work skint. People have probably broken up with people Like it's just a bleak and blue time.

Speaker 2 26:12

I know, and it's mid-January as well, your birthday, so it's like everyone's like over it. They just want the sunshine, all right.

Speaker 1 26:17

Gosh, you make me feel so happy about my birthday. To be fair, every year my dad's like should we just move your birthday Every year? He said it. Let Every year he said it, let's just move your birthday to the summer.

Speaker 2 26:26

I think your parents were selfish for having sex nine months prior to that date. They should have pushed it back a little bit.

Speaker 1 26:31

Yeah, when would that have been August?

Speaker 2 26:33

Oh, you asked me to do math, and math is not my strong point. No, not.

Speaker 1 26:35

August. That's wrong, hang on.

Speaker 2 26:37

What's nine months before January? No, it's actually March.

Speaker 1 26:42

It's January, February, March. The thing is, my brother and sister are July and May.

Speaker 2 26:47

Nice time to have a birthday.

Speaker 1 26:48

Yeah, my sister's is always the day before a local bank holiday, so she'd always get three days off from school, work the lot, and then my brother is just into the summer holidays.

Speaker 2 26:58

They planned your siblings' birthdays really well.

Speaker 1 27:01

But also they're two years apart, my brother and sister, and then I'm seven years from my brother and five years from my sister I was not sister and then I'm seven years from my brother and five years from my sister. I was not planned and I lightly joke with it with my mum all the time. She's like no, I always knew that I wanted a third. I just didn't know when I'm like that is a polite way of saying it.

Speaker 2 27:19

I'm surprised it's a girl's surprise.

Speaker 1 27:21

I've got a 14 pound baby on the way. Yeah, that's right, I was that huge.

Speaker 2 27:25

She was a big girl. She was like no more, no more babies.

Speaker 1 27:28

Yeah, I got stuck, Got full on stuck. Oh wow, yeah. Have I not told you this story? No, Okay. So 14 pounds is a slight exaggeration. I was just under 12 pounds, so I was like massive baby. Still big baby, Essentially a stone. I was. Yeah, I was humongous broad I am yeah, broad shoulders my shoulders couldn't come out and they tried for like half an hour, which is a very long time.

Speaker 2 27:49

When my mom's like ow, get this bloody baby out of me.

Speaker 1 27:52

And she did it with no pain relief, nothing, all three of us. She didn't have nothing, literally not your mom is a brave woman.

Speaker 2 27:57

No even gas in air nothing.

Speaker 1 27:59

And she's when she watched on tv, like casually, she's like why are they making such a fuss? I think she was anyway, um, yeah, I got stuck and the doctors turned to my dad, took him out the room and was like okay, so you've got two options here we can break the baby's collarbone to get him out, or we can carry on going, but you've got quite a high risk of losing your baby and your wife oh my god, what a decision to make right.

Speaker 1 28:21

So my dad was like okay, give me 30 seconds. Very religious man. So he went around the corner, prayed, came back and before he gave his um answer yeah I then slithered out see, that is when the lord works in mysterious ways, right well, I mean, I slithered out, I was jaundiced for, for a start, like I, was bright, like yellow baby. I didn't fit in the incubator so they had to get a screwdriver to unscrew the lid of the incubator to get me in because you're too big to go in the incubator.

Speaker 1 28:47

So I was too big to go through the little hole on the top, literally anonymous, and to this day my dad will not tell me what decision he made I was gonna ask yeah, what was the decision?

Speaker 2 28:54

won't tell me I'm like break his collarbone I'll break it myself.

Speaker 1 28:59

This baby I didn't even want no he still won't tell me to stay, which probably means it was to break my collarbone, but um, no, because they said if they did it I wouldn't be able to use my left arm for the rest of my life.

Speaker 2 29:08

Like oh my god, that's a really bad. They were like he would have like an arm that wasn't fully functional oh wow, because of the way they had to break it or something to do with the breaking.

Speaker 1 29:16

And then twisting me to get me out. Yeah, I know, I don't know where we got into that yeah oh, we're taking a break. Christmas, january, yeah, so I was gonna move my birthday to summer best time to have a birthday in my eyes yeah, but then I feel like people will be like it's not really your birthday, is it?

Speaker 2 29:30

no, and I would say that every year to you you're, I'll be there to remind you every year just so you know it's not really a birthday so I haven't got your present because it's not a birthday the restaurant be like happy birthday, whoa whoa, whoa it's not his real birthday a little head waddle, yeah, and I'm like don't believe me, get the ID get the ID.

Speaker 1 29:50

Not only that, but let's see how old he is exactly.

Speaker 2 29:52

Yeah, he lies to everyone about his age y'all think he's 30 guess again oh my goodness, you're a horrible little bitch, but yeah, then it's my birthday.

Speaker 1 30:01

So, yes, to wrap that up, we are going to be taking a very short little break, but do not worry, we will be back. Please carry on messaging us on the instagram. We're still going to be very active on there, replying to bits and bobs, writing with your queer diaries, any fun, hilarious hookups, work, dilemmas, whatever's going on with you. Please carry on keeping in touch, because we do.

Speaker 2 30:18

We genuinely like to keep in touch with all of you and christmas party season is around the corner and in my experience they're always wild, so I'm expecting stories she is sat there legs crossed and pointing she means business she's expecting stories office Christmas party stories.

Speaker 1 30:36

I want them yeah, I would like to go to some office parties you don't work in an office. I know I wonder if I could like go to some if anyone needs a plus one, benji is available.

Speaker 2 30:46

You know, like wedding crashes yes, work office crashes.

Speaker 1 30:48

If anyone needs a plus one, benji is available. Wedding crashes yes, work office crashes. Oh.

Speaker 2 30:50

I'd actually like to do that, and they'll be like where do you work? Oh, I'm an intern. I'm in the marketing department. I'll lie to everyone. Different story, different job. Every time I'm the cleaner you probably never noticed me.

Speaker 1 31:03

I'm actually the singer. Oh you're here. Oh great, quick you're on what? Yeah?

Speaker 2 31:07

all of that, that would be me, yeah what would you sing? They threw you on stage, gave you microphone well, obviously my go-to karaoke song, absolute classic banger. Where I carry we belong together, oh, my goodness anyway.

Speaker 1 31:22

Podcast is that is all we have time for. On this week's episode of my big gay podcast. If you don't already, please head over to our social medias. It is at Big Gay Podcast. Do you know what? I've said this so many times. I wonder if anyone tries to mouth along with me, do you think? I think it's almost the same script.

Speaker 2 31:37

I do every week, every time, yeah, yeah I wonder.

Speaker 1 31:43

I guess I actually kind of love that. Send me in your videos of you lip syncing to Benji. But yeah, you can also check out our website, which is mybigaypodcastcom.

Speaker 2 31:55

And if you've got a queer diary that you would like to share with us on the podcast, slip and slide into our DMs at Big Gay Podcast oh you're finished.

Speaker 1 32:02

Sorry, podcast, I was trying to lip sync along with Brad. It was very difficult, but anyway, like I said, podcasters, that's all we've got time for in this week's episode. Until next time.

Speaker 2 32:13

See you next Wednesday, so I've got a question for you.

Speaker 1 32:16

Tell me.

Speaker 2 32:17

Have you ever spoken to a friendship group about? You know, if you want to get married and you've not met anyone by the time you're 40, would you then marry a friend just to have the big wedding?

Speaker 1 32:26

A backup.

Speaker 2 32:27

Yeah.

Speaker 1 32:27

I have heard about a backup.

Speaker 2 32:28

Yeah, what do you think about me being your backup?

Speaker 1 32:31

I think that is the worst idea.

Speaker 2 32:34

Can you imagine our wedding, though? It would be epic.

Speaker 1 32:36

I think if we got married at 40, you'd be dead by 41.

Speaker 2 32:39

Probably, but the wedding would be great.

Speaker 1 32:41

We don't have to get married just to throw a massive party, a really good party.

Speaker 2 32:45

Oh yeah, we could just throw a party anyway.

Speaker 1 32:47

We could just throw a party anyway.

Speaker 2 32:48

But I want to get married though, so you could let me have my moment.

Speaker 1 32:51

We have a party.

Speaker 2 32:52

This is my moment and then divorce the next day.

Speaker 1 32:56

Listen, people in America are marrying themselves. You could just do that. I think you're the only person that could put up with yourself, and even then it's a push.