Episode 271: Estate Planning Made Manageable with Rachel Donnelly

What really happens when someone passes away—and are you (or your family) prepared to handle it? In this episode of Women’s Money Wisdom, Melissa Joy, CFP®, sits down with Rachel Donnelly, founder of Afterlight and author of Late to Your Own Funeral, to unpack the messy, often overwhelming world of death administration.

Rachel shares her personal story of becoming executor for both her parents’ estates—while working full-time and raising young children—and how that experience inspired her to build a business helping others avoid the same chaos. Together, Melissa and Rachel dive into the real work that goes beyond writing a will: handling assets, updating beneficiaries, navigating probate, and keeping bills paid when no one’s watching.

They discuss why so many women delay estate planning, the hidden landmines (like untitled assets and digital accounts), and how you can start untangling this intimidating topic with simple, practical steps. The conversation also tackles how to bring up these sensitive issues with family, why “co-anything” can backfire, and how to avoid turning a loved one’s legacy into a logistical nightmare.

Key Takeaways:

• Estate planning isn’t just about legal documents—it’s about full asset management and communication.
• Women are more likely to delay estate planning, often because they don’t know where to start.
• Probate horror stories highlight why comprehensive planning matters.
• Digital assets (social media, crypto, email) need to be included in your plan.
• Choose roles (executor, trustee) carefully—co-roles can create more problems than they solve.
• Even imperfect action now is better than procrastinating and risking chaos later.
• Having the tough conversations with family now can save heartache and confusion later.

Whether you’re starting from scratch or fine-tuning your existing plan, this episode will give you the confidence to take action—because death is inevitable, but an administrative nightmare doesn’t have to be.

Learn more & connect with Rachel:
Website: www.myafterlight.com
Instagram: @myafterlight
LinkedIn: Rachel Donnelly
Book: Late to Your Own Funeral

The previous presentation by PEARL PLANNING was intended for general information purposes only.  No portion of the presentation serves as the receipt of, or as a substitute for, personalized investment advice from PEARL PLANNING or any other investment professional of your choosing. Different types of investments involve varying degrees of risk, and it should not be assumed that future performance of any specific investment or investment strategy, or any non-investment related or planning services, discussion or content, will be profitable, be suitable for your portfolio or individual situation, or prove successful. Neither PEARL PLANNING’s investment adviser registration status, nor any amount of prior experience or success, should be construed that a certain level of results or satisfaction will be achieved if PEARL PLANNING is engaged, or continues to be engaged, to provide investment advisory services. PEARL PLANNING is neither a law firm nor accounting firm, and no portion of its services should be construed as legal or accounting advice. No portion of the video content should be construed by a client or prospective client as a guarantee that he/she will experience a certain level of results if PEARL PLANNING is engaged, or continues to be engaged, to provide investment advisory services. A copy of PEARL PLANNING’s current written disclosure Brochure discussing our advisory services and fees is available upon request or at https...

Transcript

Melissa Joy (00:01)
Welcome back to the Women's Money Wisdom podcast. Today's episode is so important and I have a terrific guest to just in a relatable way, describe both why things are important in terms of estate planning and getting your kind of your financial affairs and your stuff in order, as well as suggestions to make the impossible feel possible. Rachel Donnelly is the author of a new book,

called Late to Your Own Funeral. She is the founder and CEO of Afterlife, and her mission is simple, to help the living deal with the dying. She created Afterlight to help clients navigate the administrative maze of estate settlement and legacy planning after experiencing the overwhelming process herself, serving as executor for both her mother's and uncle's estates while working full time and raising two kids.

Rachel is a graduate of Agnes Scott College. She lives in Decatur with her husband and two kids. Rachel, welcome to the podcast.

Rachel Donnelly (01:04)
Thanks so much, Melissa, for having me. I'm so excited about our conversation today.

Melissa Joy (01:09)
Well, I think it's an important one. And just to kind of emphasize and highlight that, you know, we're talking to mainly women, although we have a few loyal male listeners and we welcome you too. yes, we're so glad all of you are here. But one of our past podcast guests, a rock star estate planner, Jenny Roselli, posted yesterday on Twitter that most people who don't have estate plans are women. And the number one reason cited is they just don't even know where to start.

Rachel Donnelly (01:20)
Welcome.

Yeah, yeah.

Melissa Joy (01:38)
And

we're going to talk about more than just your legal documents today, but I would love to just hear how after Light was born and how you came to be so passionate about a topic that a lot of people like to avoid. So tell me what started you on this path and to really being a helper in this important space.

Rachel Donnelly (01:59)
Yeah, absolutely. Well, again, thank you for having me. I love speaking about this. I love being able to give people a little bit more knowledge around this. think knowledge is power. so having a couple of tools of your toolbox around this is really key. I feel like my life has been leading up to this career. ⁓ And unfortunately, I took some limits that I was given in my life and I'm turning it into my mission to help

Melissa Joy (02:07)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (02:29)
Unfortunately, I experienced some loss young when I was young that just led to this. My dad got sick when I was 13 and he died when I was 16. And so I watched my mom be a youngish widow. He was 48 when he died. And navigate, he was a physician and so she was settling his medical practice, right? And figuring out like...

Melissa Joy (02:53)
Hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (02:56)
what to do with this car and all of his stuff. And ⁓ I watched my mom struggle with those sort of logistics of not only losing, of course, her husband, but then now raising three kids on her own and then settling her husband's affairs. And I saw her struggle with that, of course. And so I was sort of introduced to sort of the business aspects of death and dying, unfortunately, at a young age.

Fast forward and I was married and had a one year old and a three year old. I had just started a brand new job. We had no time off in the first 90 days. Unfortunately, my mom got sick through major surgery and died within 60 days of that new job I had just started. She was taking care of her brother who was in latter stages of Parkinson's disease. And so I became, when she died, I became his caregiver and his financial power of attorney and his

Melissa Joy (03:39)
my gosh.

Rachel Donnelly (03:55)
health care proxy. And so now I was settling my parents estate. I was now taking care of an aging loved one and then now a caregiver. Like I said, for my kids in this aging loved one, all trying to work, build a career, and maybe have a few moments to myself, which seemed impossible. And I noticed, like I said, that there was a gap in the mark.

Melissa Joy (04:06)
Hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (04:22)
in terms of logistical and practical support for those going through this process, settling a loved one's affairs, dealing with their own life and what comes with that. So, After Light was born from that, to really be skilled project managers and sort of quarterbacks for executors and those...

navigating these unavoidable logistics. So I created my business and have not looked back and now help clients not only navigate the non-legal aspects of estate administration, but also helping people to get organized ahead of time. Now seeing the same blind spots that people miss in their estate planning and organization.

Melissa Joy (05:17)
It's so true. There's so much that goes into it. And really you're describing, it's not just past the point of death. It's also when you may not be able to take care of your own affairs. And I love the work that you do because a project manager is exactly what you need. It's not just like you set aside an hour or two once a week and get things done because there are so many roadblocks, both physical and emotional.

Rachel Donnelly (05:44)
Yeah.

Melissa Joy (05:44)
emotional ⁓ landmines all along the way and you know, oftentimes the people that are dealing with this have other things going on with their lives and are just in a moment in time where everything is, you know, as difficult as it can be because of personal loss as well.

Rachel Donnelly (05:53)
Right?

Right, and

you're doing a lot of these tasks, whether you're going through the estate planning or organization process or you're settling affairs need to be done during normal business hours, right? Monday through Friday when you may be, bankers hours, exactly. yes, exactly. having a skilled project manager like us to not only help sort of triage, streamline, prioritize and.

Melissa Joy (06:13)
Mm-hmm. Bankers hours, like it's even less. Yeah. And maybe in person in some cases. ⁓

Rachel Donnelly (06:31)
make sense of that process, to help them get the work done really adds ease at a time that is full of anguish.

Melissa Joy (06:37)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, and so many of our listeners find themselves in, you know, just they wake up in a moment where that sandwich generation ⁓ adulting is just all of sudden it's here, there and everywhere. And so you can't predict that, but it is certainly helpful to be prepared. ⁓ And when you think about your book, then who's your audience? Is it the kids of these potential? ⁓

Rachel Donnelly (07:06)
Yeah.

I

Melissa Joy (07:08)
Family members are.

Rachel Donnelly (07:09)
you know, I say this is for everybody, but of course my book is, you know, it's not gonna land with everybody, but I really wrote this book from a perspective of my experience as a member of the same generation, right? So it's speaking to, you know, millennials, Gen Xers, right? And really sort of demystifying the process of getting your affairs in order. ⁓

Melissa Joy (07:32)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (07:34)
And so it's definitely gives you actionable steps that you can take individually to get organized, the checklist of the documents, the things that you need to do, but also helps you to think through how can I have these conversations with those around me? So it can, it's really, like I said, boiling it down into understandable, ⁓ easy to, like more easy to understand terms.

Melissa Joy (07:53)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (08:02)
for the sandwich generation and maybe their parents, but you know, it's for anybody, I think 18 or older with a pulse who owns or owes.

Melissa Joy (08:11)
Well, I'll

just talk out of class a little bit. I'm a financial planner. For my mom, I manage her money. She's very transparent. For my dad, he's remarried and it's a blended family situation. And I know I asked him several times over the years, hey, do you have, I don't need to know everything, but you guys have taken care of like your legal documents, right?

yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so. And I'm like, well, that's not a very specific answer. And then I asked my sibling and she was like, no, I think they've got it under control. Well, lo and behold, that is not the case. We fortunately, while in good health, they made some refreshes and updates. you could assume like, hey, there are and I hear this all the time from ⁓ clients about their kids to adult kids. they've got it under control. But

going through the steps necessary to organize stuff or your legal affairs is not the most touchy-feely subject. It is not something people like to think about their either infirmity, mortality, disability. And ⁓ it's very easy to put off, like, hey, we're gonna move. We'll wait till we're in that state. Or there's two people involved in decision-making and one's not ready. ⁓

Rachel Donnelly (09:13)
Nope.

now.

Melissa Joy (09:30)
So what are some of your icebreakers to kind of get past that? I hope something's going on into, I know that there's a game plan.

Rachel Donnelly (09:39)
Yeah, I mean, I always say that a great way to slide into this conversation is also for you to go through the estate planning process yourself, right? And if you're going through this and then you're saying, hey, I've just done, I've just gotten my will or trust, guardian's name for my kids, right? Like my financial power of attorney, I've organized all this, I feel so much better. How does that, you

Melissa Joy (09:51)
Amen. Yes.

Rachel Donnelly (10:08)
and sharing that with them, sharing that journey, right? That can help spark a great conversation. You know, could also read my book and take one of the countless flaming dumpster fires that people have left behind and use that as a conversation topic to be like, I just read this story about X, Y, and Z that happened. And it made me think about what could happen if that happened to our family, right? And I want to make sure that you're taken care of, that you've got your affairs in order, that I would be able to ask

Melissa Joy (10:19)
Hahaha

Mm.

Rachel Donnelly (10:38)
on your behalf, that I would be able to pay your bills, I'd be able to speak to your doctors, talk about your medication. So coming to it from a place of concern of, I want us to be a team on this, can be a great entree into the conversation.

Melissa Joy (10:58)
that, ⁓ do you want to give us an flaming dumpster fire that could be fodder for the conversation?

Rachel Donnelly (11:05)
mean, you know, just the number of sandwich generation, you know, kids that come to me or they're adults, but adult children who are coming to me. And, you know, I had a client whose father died unexpectedly of a heart attack, right? And he was an attorney himself and didn't have a will. She didn't know any of his bills.

Melissa Joy (11:29)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (11:33)
And ⁓ his assets, she didn't know any of his debts that he owed. He had a mortgage, right, that wasn't being paid. So in between the time that she was petitioning to become the administrator of his estate, right, like his mortgage wasn't being paid, ⁓ that she was getting, you know, calls from all sorts of people asking her to pay bills, right, she had to pay.

money out of her pocket to pay for his funeral, to hire an attorney, all of those sorts of things. Yes, everything's locked down. Exactly. And she was heartbroken, of course, by the sudden death of her father. And it was just so, so hard for her. And so we helped her sort of figure out all of this, help talk to the mortgage company. ⁓

Melissa Joy (12:06)
You have to go to court at that point. Everything's locked up too. So you can't just be like, send me a check.

Rachel Donnelly (12:29)
Could she make a couple of payments, right? To get up to speed so they wouldn't start or continue with foreclosure procedures or proceedings. So, and then creating a ⁓ spreadsheet of his assets and his debts to get really organized.

Melissa Joy (12:47)
and

then what you need to do for every single one of those individual accounts. It's like a huge process for each one, right?

Rachel Donnelly (12:50)
Correct, yes. Exactly,

it is. And each process has its own red tape and bureaucracy. So going through each one of those and saying, okay, tackle this one now, these will be in phase two, these will be in phase three. So having them to really say, okay, these are the boulders right now that we need to tackle down to the pebbles.

Melissa Joy (12:57)
Mm-hmm.

I love that, start with the big rocks and then fill in with the little stuff. Triage is everything when it comes to kind of the urgency of either caring for someone who can't take care of themselves or their affairs, as well as dealing with an estate.

Rachel Donnelly (13:16)
Yeah.

It really is, yeah.

Yeah, 100%.

Melissa Joy (13:36)
⁓ that's so much. I'm just thinking too about another kind of landmine. Sometimes people draft a will, but that almost ensures that they'll be arriving in court if there's not associated either beneficiary designations or drafting of a trust because wills get handled via probate. ⁓ And so sometimes they've done elaborate trust, ⁓ created a trust within a will.

Rachel Donnelly (13:54)
Yes.

Melissa Joy (14:01)
And I don't understand, I have a personal feeling, not as an attorney, but as someone who has experienced what it takes to get through the administration. I just do not prefer the will to be kind of springing into the trust in the future, because there are so many post-death time and money required to get to the other side that it does cost more to set up that trust in the beginning, but then you have something that's durable.

Rachel Donnelly (14:21)
Yes.

but you're going to save money.

If it's done right, it is going to save money, time, effort, anguish, but only if done right. I've had many clients whose parents passed away and they came to me and said, well, they had a trust. So, of course, I never make the decision because I'm not an attorney whether probate is made or not. But they'll come to me and say, well, they had a trust, so everything's going to flow in it, and then come to find out nothing.

Melissa Joy (14:49)
Absolutely.

Rachel Donnelly (14:56)
no assets were retitled to the trust. Never funded, yeah. And I'm like, ⁓ gracious, that's just so disappointing. It's so unfortunate because it could make this a very seamless process, you know, if possible. ⁓ But it's like those itty bitty details that people get the trust done, they get the documents created, and then they don't do the back work.

Melissa Joy (14:58)
never funded so it doesn't

Yeah.

Rachel Donnelly (15:23)
the administrative bureaucracy of making sure that it's really buttoned up and funded.

Melissa Joy (15:28)
And I just recommend that this happens way before any signs of decline happen, because you never know when that's going to happen. There's no do over to be like, we didn't get around to it, but we'd like to do it now if you have somebody who has incapacity and ⁓ or I guess I should say limited do over. ⁓ But, you know, people assume, hey, I'll plenty of time. But especially if there's somebody who doesn't like to give up control.

Rachel Donnelly (15:35)
100%, yeah.

Yep.

Yes.

Right.

Melissa Joy (15:58)
⁓ You know, you just kind of sit there with a ticking time bomb and decision making gets slower, not faster as you age.

Rachel Donnelly (16:03)
It does. Yeah.

And you know, as you know, my uncle, when I took over his affairs, you know, he was starting to experience significant cognitive decline. Right. And it was we had to leave it up to the attorney to make that that call of did he still have that cognitive ability to now make, you know, make me the executive, make me the financial power of attorney. Right. So that's up to them.

you know, if you're experiencing that you are in that the clock is ticking and you don't want to be forced to make those decisions out of panic, right? ⁓

Melissa Joy (16:41)
Right. Yeah,

and you can always go and amend. It's not as costly as starting over from scratch. So you can always go and make adjustments because I think this is certainly an area where it's like progress over perfection because there's, you know, there's never a perfect guardian for your minor children. There's always a reason that no, maybe not that person or there's never, you know, a perfect asset division when you're not sure if a family member is going to be responsible with money.

But something is better than nothing. And in so many cases, that imperfect game plan stops the ball rolling even when there's intent.

Rachel Donnelly (17:15)
Absolutely, you know, and ⁓ you know, I even say that there are things if you're part of that brigade of like estate planning is too expensive or you know, I'm not gonna do this. I'm gonna be dead who cares, right? But there are things that you can do that are free and that are easy that will help leave a little bit more of a breadcrumb trail for your family. know, create.

Melissa Joy (17:25)
Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (17:40)
a list of your assets and your debts, of your current assets and debts, right? What are your open accounts? Do you have a mortgage? Do you have a car loan, right? Update your beneficiaries, right?

Melissa Joy (17:54)
Almost every

account can have a beneficiary designation. So you get asked when you open your retirement plan, you get asked for an IRA or Roth, but you can also give a beneficiary designation on your bank account. can ⁓ leave a deed over to your trust or family member for property. ⁓ Almost any brokerage account also can have what's called a transfer on death or payable on death.

Rachel Donnelly (18:17)
Right.

Yes, yes, a TOD

or a POD, right, exactly. So those are things that you can do if you're part of the I don't care, I'll be dead anyway brigade, right? So.

Melissa Joy (18:24)
Right.

Now a

big X, I think this is one of the flaming dumpster fires. If you have multiple kids and you're like, well, the responsible one or the one that lives close is so and so, we'll let them dole it out. I'm just going to put them as a joint owner on accounts and then also, you know, just one beneficiary designation. I mean, that's just saying that you're leaving, you're leaving everybody else out. And even if you had a will, if the beneficiary designation is this, and I speak from recent experience based on, you know,

Rachel Donnelly (18:53)
Absolutely.

Yeah.

Melissa Joy (19:00)
somebody that we've talked to, that is not, that is not going to work.

Rachel Donnelly (19:04)
No, isn't.

Yeah, because it's that account is then legally becoming theirs after you're gone. And yes, you are trusting that they're going to do the right thing. Right. But, you know, things happen among. No, it's not. Absolutely. Absolutely. So, ⁓ you know, have a family conversation. That's free. Right. Have sit down and have a family meeting to talk about.

Melissa Joy (19:09)
Yes.

It's not putting them in good stead and it's certainly not coming from a place of trust when everybody else finds that out.

Whoo, yes.

Rachel Donnelly (19:33)
your goals, your wishes, ⁓ where things are located. Hey, I've got a will and it's in the safe deposit box, which I'm not a big fan of, but you know, and I've given, I've named X, Y, and Z as an authorized user, right? So, or has authorized access to the safe deposit box, right? So having those conversations, I think, you know, are key to sort of say, these are our goals, these are our wishes.

Melissa Joy (19:35)
where things are located.

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (20:02)
Here's what we're doing and here's how we want you to be a part of this.

Melissa Joy (20:05)
I love that. I also, let's talk about a potentially controversial topic. ⁓ So nowadays, I always encourage people to go to an attorney, pay the costs that are likely in the thousands of dollars ⁓ to have a professional understand your circumstances and draft legal documents. But here's what I know. There are some people that I meet with every single year as a financial planner.

Rachel Donnelly (20:27)
Yes.

Melissa Joy (20:32)
and that remains on the to-do list and it just may never happen. I know some of my attorney friends who will cringe when I say this, but I think it's okay if you're saying, you know what, I'm okay with nothing, if you're gonna make me go and pay the cost for an attorney who has personalized service and will really anticipate many landmines to use a document drafting.

Rachel Donnelly (20:53)
All

Melissa Joy (20:56)
digital document drafting, acknowledging that there are risks and you are not an attorney, but something like Trust and Will or some financial planners use something like Vanilla or Wealth.com. This to me, if there was gonna be nothing otherwise, is better than nothing, I think.

Rachel Donnelly (21:07)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, mean, I'm on the fence about that, to be quite honest. Yeah, I mean, but in full disclosure, I love the attention, and it's being paid to this issue. ⁓ I applaud these companies for saying, you know what, Houston, we've got a problem. We want to offer an affordable solution to people. So yes, I cringe when I.

Melissa Joy (21:18)
I get it with a hedge, like I'm not saying.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Rachel Donnelly (21:44)
I hear that as well because I think that this is advice and guidance and infrastructure that is well worth paying and investing in. ⁓

Melissa Joy (21:53)
Absolutely, I 100 % agree. I would always start with

like, here's three attorneys names, please give them a call.

Rachel Donnelly (21:58)
Absolutely

right, but yeah, is it better than the nothing? Probably. ⁓

Melissa Joy (22:04)
And

depending on the document, like if you're sending your kid to college and you need a medical power attorney, yeah. Yeah.

Rachel Donnelly (22:10)
Right, you're a financial power of attorney and like there

are online, you know, to go to Compassion and Choices, go to AARP, there are free, you know, healthcare directives that you can download, right, and get witnessed. ⁓ You're right, like those might be great platforms for you to get that financial power of attorney for your 18 year old kid, right? So I love the attention that's being paid to it. ⁓

Melissa Joy (22:21)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (22:39)
me investing in an experienced, knowledgeable, trusted estate attorney well worth the money, 100%. And I preach that in my book, right? And when I'm working with clients and they're like, I need an attorney, I also take that into consideration. What is your budget? Who's the type of person you wanna work with? There are types of attorneys, right, exactly.

Melissa Joy (22:45)
That's always what I'm gonna do. Yes. Yes.

How complex is this? Because if you're dealing

with a $10 million complicated situation with some family member that can't do their own thing, that's different than if you have basic nuts and bolts with a very straightforward kind of outcome. Okay, so my number one recommendation as people are intrigued by this conversation and thinking, gosh, this is compelling me to...

Rachel Donnelly (23:05)
Yeah. Yes. With that's right. Yeah.

100%, 100%, yeah.

Melissa Joy (23:26)
to act as well as have conversations with family is gonna be to buy your book. But then after you've read the book, what are some practical steps, not only on that legal sphere, but also the rest of everything else that you would suggest that people do?

Rachel Donnelly (23:31)
Yes.

Right, right. Yeah.

You know, I touched on a couple of them. You know, it's creating that boring but so good inventory of your assets and debts. What you own and what you owe. That's also going to help you to get organized now. It could also help you identify maybe some subscriptions that are out there that you no longer need as you're going through and looking through everything, right?

Melissa Joy (24:02)
Totally.

Rachel Donnelly (24:06)
that knowledge and that organization is power.

Melissa Joy (24:10)
And I

like I will say as a financial planner to just having that list once a year can help you to see without getting obsessed with the day to day fluctuations in the markets, kind of your bottom line anyway. So it's it's a great activity that kind of kills two birds with one stone. How am I doing financially? Am I improving over time or maybe markets are down like they have been parts of this year? And it's like, oh, it's not as bad as I thought it was. But also, what do I have?

Rachel Donnelly (24:20)
100%. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Melissa Joy (24:37)
If there's a random account you forgot about that you haven't logged into for three years, maybe it's time to make that phone call, things like that. So I love that piece of advice.

Rachel Donnelly (24:42)
Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

And there are so many assets that are lost or not known about when somebody dies. So you don't want to leave money on the table. So doing that very simple exercise of creating an inventory of your assets and debts, that'll be great fodder for when you do go to meet with an attorney and they're looking at the landscape and the scaffolding of your estate and say, how do we, how do we plan for this? Right.

Melissa Joy (24:51)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (25:10)
⁓ So getting organized, ⁓ how will you share that with the person who will be in charge? Picking who's going to be in charge, whether they're executor, they're your financial power of attorney, the guardian for your kids, right? Picking those out.

Melissa Joy (25:16)
Right?

And your healthcare power

of attorney doesn't have to be the same person who handles your bank accounts.

Rachel Donnelly (25:27)
They don't, they don't,

yeah. You know, I say in my book, just don't make it co. I am not a big fan of doing co-executors, co-trustees, co-financial power attorney. It's just a logistical hurdle that makes it very hard.

Melissa Joy (25:43)
Mm-hmm. At least

if you do, hopefully they can each act independently. then although don't add too many people through the room, please have backups because you may draft it when you're 50 and name peers and they may have, like you may not talk to them when you're 80 and they may not be, ⁓ you know, reachable or able to handle their own affairs, much less yours.

Rachel Donnelly (25:54)
Yes, yeah, yeah, I mean, I...

And once you sort of picked your team, make sure that you communicate that with them and that they're up for the job. You know, I have, speaking of a flaming dumpster fire, I had a client whose ex-husband named her the executor of his estate and they hadn't spoken in 50 years.

Melissa Joy (26:16)
Yes. Yes.

my gosh. that's another, I mean, look at those beneficiary designations. had one time we pulled up an old 401k account for a client. Beautiful. It had grown so much as he left it alone for like 30 years, but also his deceased mother was the only beneficiary on the account, which was news to his very happily married wife. Fortunately, we found it while living, right?

Rachel Donnelly (26:46)
⁓ yes, yes.

Yes, but naming your beneficiaries is free. You can go do that right now. ⁓

Melissa Joy (26:55)
And look at every

single account, because you may have five accounts at Fidelity. One may be right, but you probably have to do the update four more times to get everybody.

Rachel Donnelly (27:02)
Bingo, bingo, through each and every one of them, going through each

of those with a fine-tooth comb. Don't overlook your digital assets. That is a huge aspect that is coming into play with a state administration, right? So that is, you know, there's not a universal term or definition for it, but I sort of think of everything that touches a keyboard, right? And there can be different types. So your online accounts, your social media.

Melissa Joy (27:10)
⁓ amen. Yes.

So what's a digital asset?

Yeah.

Rachel Donnelly (27:32)
your healthcare records that are online, the manuscript of your book, your crypto, Yes, if you have a business, your URLs, your business assets, right? All of those can be considered digital assets. So, inventorying your digital assets as well, how many email addresses you have and which ones you use for which, right? But then also,

Melissa Joy (27:35)
crypto accounts for those guys listening, I should say.

Mm-hmm.

Cause your estate

planning documents can include instructions that allow someone else, you could present them to the company.

Rachel Donnelly (28:02)
They can. Yeah. you want to make sure that your

right. want to make sure that your your documents include give give access and authority over digital assets as well as tangible. Right. So you want to make sure of that. But you want to leave those instructions like what do you want to have happen to your Facebook account. Right. ⁓ How would they get access to digital photos. ⁓

Melissa Joy (28:23)
Mm-hmm.

Rachel Donnelly (28:28)
Are there anything with exchange values and you know airline points, shopping points? Do you have an Etsy account where you're selling things? You have PayPal, right? So detailing all of that and including those in that inventory we talked about is huge. ⁓ And because people may be locked out of your life and they may not be able to get access.

Melissa Joy (28:34)
Mm-hmm.

And that's a reminder for passwords as well.

Rachel Donnelly (28:56)
Yes, yes. And I go through all of that in my book and talking about that. I'm not a huge fan of people just sharing passwords. ⁓ They're out of date as soon as you share them and it may be against the terms of service and also many companies are going towards passwordless login. So, but all that to say, just including those assets in that inventory will help you be light years ahead.

Melissa Joy (29:05)
Agreed.

Yes.

Rachel Donnelly (29:25)
in terms of some way settling your estate. You can name that legacy contact on your Apple account or your Gmail or your Facebook. ⁓ And then, like I said, bring it.

Melissa Joy (29:39)
Same goes for Social

Security, which is very old school, but you can also name somebody that can act on your behalf that's separate from a power of attorney that can go and get information. So there's just so many little details.

Rachel Donnelly (29:46)
Right. Yeah. 100 % Yeah.

And that's why you need like a personal trainer or organization. Like I say, we are like personal traders for legacy organization. Then bringing in the, once they go through that, meet with an attorney, have a consult, meet with at least three to sort of see what he would click with and then work with somebody and then have that family meeting.

Melissa Joy (29:55)
Yes.

Rachel Donnelly (30:15)
and revisit this every year, every couple of years to make sure it still reflects your wishes and goals.

Melissa Joy (30:22)
Well, I consider myself motivated after this conversation. For those that are listening and feeling like maybe this subject is a little less yucky and a little more, you know, a reward for your future self and feels motivated to do the work, we'll make sure to have links that tell us where we can find you, Rachel.

Rachel Donnelly (30:43)
Yeah, so you can go to my website, which is myafterlight.com. You can find me, Rachel Donnelly on LinkedIn, myafterlight on Instagram. My book is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble Books a Million. I have Kindle versions, hardback and paperback, and then coming soon will be the audiobook version. But I've added just some fun and some humor and a reverence to this book to make it a little

Melissa Joy (31:03)
Can't wait.

Rachel Donnelly (31:13)
entertaining with a subject that is very dark and can be very depressing to think about.

Melissa Joy (31:21)
Well, Rachel, congratulations on your book. I love this conversation and we just really appreciate your insight and experience on a subject that most of us only have to deal with a few times. So thanks for doing the great work.

Rachel Donnelly (31:34)
Thank you for having me, Melissa.