Hello singles! Harboring a desire to get married anytime soon? Now, that’s a good desire (Proverbs 18:22), but as you read this, I encourage you to dig deep in your hearts and answer this: Why do you want to get married?
If your purpose of getting married is not aligned with the Word of God, it may cause heart breaks later.
Well, here are three wrong reasons to get married:
1. I want to get married because all my friends are getting married
The generation today is largely influenced by their peer group in their decision-making. You desire for the same phone or camera that your friend owns, if not better. You want to visit the same country that your Facebook friend has posted snaps about. And then you realise you need to get married because all the friends in your age group have a married or engaged status.
However let me remind you: The decision of marriage is something that will not only affect a season in your life, but will impact your lifetime. And as His child, God wants you to make all the decisions of your life, especially marriage, on the leading of His Spirit, and not on the basis of your friends or parental pressure. The world can go wrong, but God never will. And as a good Father who gives perfect and good gifts to His children, God doesn’t want you to play a ‘hit-and-miss’ game. He is the one who knows your end from the beginning and He wants you to depend on the wonderful counsellor and your best friend Holy Spirit for your marriage decision.
Also, comparison will only make you feel wretched or prideful, and a marriage driven on feelings is like a house built on sand that will not stand for long. Instead of comparing yourself with your friends, why not celebrate single hood? Use this season to draw closer to Jesus and seek His grace to prepare you for your next season.
2. I want to get married because I am lonely
Whoever told you that marriage is a solution for loneliness is absolutely wrong! If you are entering into marriage with this notion in your mind, that’s too high of an expectation from man.
Do you know you can be in a room filled with people and yet be lonely in your heart? Do you know there are couples married for decades together and yet lonely?
The solution to your loneliness is not marriage but a relationship with Jesus!
He is the one who completes you with His love and if you still have not invited Him in the broken and lonely areas of your heart, it would be good to do so, before even you think of getting married. Your partner cannot complete you. But when you invite Jesus into your heart, He makes you a new creation.
Loneliness is a state of mind or feeling and God wants you to renew your mind and live by faith in His Word and not by your feelings. He promises in His Word to never leave nor forsake you. He assures you that nothing can separate you from His unconditional love. It’s only when you are filled with the unconditional love of God, that you are able to give it to others unconditionally.
3. I want to get married because it will make me a better and more responsible
This is the biggest lie that you can believe concerning marriage. Very often we hear this, especially from parents of young adults. They say, “Let him get married, he will change and become more responsible.”
Listen, marriage doesn’t change anything. In fact I believe marriage exposes your weaknesses even more. I used to think I was the most patient, humble and understanding girl around until I got married and all my hidden pride was exposed.
Again marriage is not a quick-fix solution to the issues of your life, but Jesus is!
The key is to surrender your weakness, hurts, addictions to God and allow him to heal you from within and fill you with his love and grace before even you think of getting married.