What Your Child Really Means When They Say "I Hate Maths"

"I hate maths."

It's a sentence many parents hear.

Sometimes it's English.

Sometimes it's science.

Sometimes it's school altogether.

Our instinct is often to reassure them.

"But you don't hate maths."

"It's not that difficult."

"You just need to practise."

Or perhaps we encourage them to keep going because we know how important education is.

But what if those four little words aren't really about maths at all?

In this episode, I explore one of the biggest misconceptions I see as a tutor.

Children rarely hate a subject.

More often, they hate how that subject makes them feel.

When a child says,

"I hate maths,"

they may actually be saying:

"Maths makes me feel stupid."

"I'm frightened of getting it wrong."

"Everyone else seems to understand it except me."

"I'm embarrassed."

"I've stopped believing I can do it."

Those are very different conversations.

If we only respond to the words, we risk missing the emotion underneath them.

Because learning is never just an academic experience.

It's an emotional one too.

Repeated confusion.

Repeated failure.

Repeated comparison.

Those experiences slowly shape how children see themselves.

Eventually, they stop saying,

"I don't understand fractions."

and start saying,

"I'm just rubbish at maths."

One of my favourite ways of thinking about this is through something much simpler.

Imagine someone tells you,

"I hate sweetcorn."

Would you respond by listing all the reasons sweetcorn is wonderful?

Probably not.

You'd recognise that they're describing their own experience.

Learning is no different.

Two children can sit in exactly the same classroom, hear exactly the same explanation and leave with completely different emotions.

One feels excited.

The other feels defeated.

Neither feeling is wrong.

They're simply different experiences.

That's why I believe confidence comes before curriculum.

Before we can expect children to tackle increasingly difficult work, we first need to help them feel safe enough to have a go.

Because confidence creates something incredibly powerful.

Confidence leads to willingness.

Willingness leads to practice.

Practice leads to understanding.

Understanding builds confidence.

And suddenly the cycle begins working in the child's favour instead of against them.

Perhaps improving maths isn't always about teaching more maths.

Perhaps it's about helping children believe they can learn maths in the first place.

When we start with the child instead of the curriculum, everything begins to change.

In this episode we explore:

•  Why children rarely hate the subject itself. 
•  The emotions hidden behind the words, "I hate maths."
•  Why emotional experiences often shape learning more than academic ones. 
•  How confidence and willingness create a positive cycle of learning. 
•  Practical ways parents can respond differently when children become frustrated with school. 

If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you.

Whether you're supporting a child who's lost confidence, looking for a tutor, or you're a tutor who believes learning starts with understanding the child rather than simply delivering the curriculum, I'd love to continue the conversation.

Because every child deserves to be seen.