Mid-Life Mayhem; A guide to functioning in your 40's & beyond

From Dad Bod To Dialed In: Hormones, Habits, And Real Accountability

• Katie Kovaleski • Season 4 • Episode 5

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The rules change in midlife—and pretending they didn’t is what keeps so many men stuck. We go straight at the hard truths: why the old workouts stall, how undereating can keep you overweight, and what it takes to move from “normal range” labs to truly optimal health. Jensen joins to share his path from brutal warehouse‑gym coaching to a data‑driven approach that blends hormone literacy, practical nutrition, and real‑world accountability for dads and midlife guys who want their edge back.

We unpack the emotional side of fitness—the parts of yourself you only meet when a workout gets hard—and contrast it with the quiet sabotage of low‑calorie diets. You’ll hear why many men need to eat more before they can lose fat, how consistent tracking beats guesswork, and when to stop relying on churn‑and‑burn checkups and talk to a hormone specialist who reads symptoms and numbers in context. We also talk labs and baselines, the value of measuring over decades, and how to use weekly data to adjust macros, energy, and recovery without obsession.

None of it sticks without environment, so we dig into the home front: creating safety to talk about fatigue, libido, stress, and mood; getting family buy‑in so your plan isn’t battling your pantry; and cutting the opportunity cost of months of DIY tinkering. Whether you need a focused two‑hour consult or a six‑ to twelve‑month rebuild, the roadmap is the same: establish a healthy intake, optimize hormones, align habits to your season, and make support a feature, not a flaw. If you’re ready to trade noise for a plan and excuses for progress, hit play, then share with someone who needs the nudge. Subscribe, leave a review, and tell us the first habit you’ll upgrade this week.

Jensen Hendriks:

Husband, father of 3, former Muay Thai fighter and trainer, retired college professor and your new favorite nutrition coach.

Instagram: @coachjensenh

Book your free consultation with Jensen: 

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeAQCVtA0bYJFrngh9T4mYTJomGfobOHwY8APoTIrusJtTUtQ/viewform

You can reach us here:

Katie Kovaleski:

Website:
KatieKovaleski.com

Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/coach_katiek/

Work with me: Book your 20 minute connection call here:

https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=37741681&appointmentType=86489509

LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/katiekovaleski/

Wavier & Release of Liability and Disclaimer: The information provided by the therapist(s) is not intended, nor is implied to be a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. The listener is advised to always seek the advice of their health care practitioner or other qualified health care provider with questions regarding medical conditions, or the mental health and welfare of the listener. I (listener) accept that Kathryn Kovaleski is not liable for any injury, or damages, to person or property, resulting from listening to this podcast.

SPEAKER_01:

Midlife ma'am, we're back, and I have a special guest today. And I love this because he's the yin to the yang. So I love midlife women, and he's here to talk to all of the midlife men. Welcome, Jensen.

SPEAKER_00:

Hello. Katie, I feel like we have 15 years of stories to tell.

SPEAKER_01:

Where where do we begin? I was thinking about that, and I'm like, all right, how do I interview Jensen? Where do we begin? I I'm gonna kind of just tell you what I remember from our first meeting. And then I definitely want to hear more about in general stuff we might have never even talked about, which is like your relationship to nutrition and movement and exercise starting from like childhood. Like a focus on that. But for for all the listeners out there, so Jensen and I have known each other for probably about like I was thinking the other day, 15 years, I think.

SPEAKER_00:

I believe so, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And we get there, and it's at this um, like we tied Jen and like this, so there's dudes in there and they're like fighter dudes, and I was immediately intimidated. And then he takes us in the back and puts us through this boot camp workout. And like probably like 40 minutes later, I was like vomiting in the parking lot. And I was like, oh my God, this is the hardest work I've ever done. And then I remember my girlfriend, I don't, I she might have come back a couple more times and she quit. And I was like, I'm going to learn how to do this and not throw up anymore. Um, and he probably got me in like the best shape I've ever been in. And I just kept going back. I think and at some points I was the only person in the class because I was like, I'm gonna do this until I make it. Um, and my experience with that too is I want to talk more about like people talk about the emotional component of food a lot, but not so much talked about as like this emotional component in exercise, because I've met parts of myself in workouts that I've only ever met in workouts, and it has broken me down in ways. Like the issues are you, but like like there's emotional eaters, but my stuff comes out a lot through like workouts and the resistance I feel to doing it.

SPEAKER_00:

But I think that's probably more common um through nutrition. I think I think you've heard the term emotional eaters, right? So I don't think necessarily eating causes an emotional uh reaction. Um, we eat because we're reacting to our emotions, but I think fitness or hard workouts when you are pushed to your limit, um it it it can go one or one way or another. It can like really expose like the the hard times you're going through and force you to break down, or it can just unleash this internal beast that you have and like this like yearning for accomplishment and uh kind of makes you push that much harder. Uh it is interesting, they complement each other in a way, but I think they both tap into a different emotion uh in every individual.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, no, I love that. It makes sense. And I've I've had both. I've been a beast also, I've been broken down.

SPEAKER_00:

And I was probably there for all of those.

SPEAKER_01:

You were, I know. We'll get the breakdown one later. I think it was it was just like a really interesting, it just exposes where the work needs to be done. And at that point, I was like ready for the challenge. And I'm like, all right.

SPEAKER_00:

I remember that. I remember I think I had you flipping tires, I think I had you chasing medicine balls, I think all kinds of crazy stuff, if I'm not mistaken, like running either running laps around the building or sprints.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, both, yeah, box jump, sprints, running around the building, flipping tires, like axe throw things.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, it was the sledgehammer on the tires, the sledgehammers, yeah. Yeah, that was that was a brutal workout. And I was I was probably a really poor businessman then. I mean, I was in my 20s, you know, I was in my like mid mid to late 20s, and I was kind of had this attitude where it's just like you're gonna work hard or you're gonna leave, and I'm gonna weed out all the clients that I don't want, and the clients that I do want are gonna stick it out. Um, I'm not saying that's the greatest business model at all. However, um at the time, it was glorious because everybody that I was surrounded by just wanted it, they were so hungry for improvement. Um, it was it was a great atmosphere, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_01:

No, I mean I I agree with that. And I I think as far as business practices goes, like those are the clients that I prefer to. It's like you're here to work. I'm not here to convince you to work, right? Like and tell you why you need to lift the tire. You already know that. Just like lift the fucking tire. And it was definitely that vibe.

SPEAKER_00:

And I'm in there like flipping tires or doing these axe swings, and then people are behind me like doing fighting, practicing, like, and they're they're there like working so hard that it was just like you can't be in that environment and be like, I don't know, like yeah, there's no half in when you're in that environment, and you're right, you see like professional fighters behind you putting in work, you know, and you see other people in there just practicing this uh everybody wants to be here, they're not obligated to. It's like they want it, you know, and when you're surrounded by that, it's just natural at that point. That part of you comes out and it's great, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I I do, I never really reflected on that part, but I I love that vibe, like where people come in and get it done. This this wasn't like a 24-hour fitness where people are on the treadmill like looking at their scrolling, like these were like professional fighters, like working really hard.

SPEAKER_00:

It was in a warehouse, it wasn't pretty, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

It was hardcore, and it just you couldn't like there was no way I was walking in there as the only girl, being like, I don't know, I just broke a nail. It was like break all of them, like for you, you know, like it's also the atmosphere where it's like you can't hide, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

A lot of a lot of folks they'll go to the Planet Fitness or or or the Crunch or the 24 hour, and you know, they'll hop on a treadmill and they'll just kind of walk the treadmill, and then they'll maybe go and tinker with a couple machines, and then they'll take a selfie before they leave and tell everybody that they worked out, but really they hid from doing difficult things, you know, and so when you're in an environment when you're kind of exposed to like elite level of training, you can't hide. You know, there's there's no hiding. So it definitely you got in great shape, and I think I think everybody leveled up at that point.

SPEAKER_01:

I do too. And I have like a story in my head that I'm like, these fighters see me walk in like my two or three times a week, and I I think I hope they're thinking like, good for her, like just oh absolutely, because it's like you see them and they're threatening guys, right?

SPEAKER_00:

They're beating each other up, you know, and preparing for their next fight or whatever, and it's like it's it's intimidating, but anybody that walks in the door the first time is gifted respect because that's the hardest thing. The hardest thing is like opening the door the first time, but then when you start to create the consistency, it's not just respect, but then it's kind of family, yeah, you know, and and then the accountability is there because now the family expects you to show up. So uh you crushed it. That was a great, that was a great summer.

SPEAKER_01:

It really was, yeah. And so then our trajectory was very like um kind of how it is now, where we then go on kind of our own individual little paths for a while, but we always end up coming back, like um, with more stories to tell. And it's been for the last you know 15 years and like various places, various workouts, um, various lifetimes and seasons we've been through. So I'm just excited that like at this season we're both at the place where we know the audience that we want to work with and that we're working with. And it's such a good compliment. So this is for anyone listening, any midlife ladies, like if you have a partner and you want him or he wants to or is curious about getting on the health train, um, this is the podcast to listen to. Um, we're bringing the the dads into the mix.

SPEAKER_00:

Let's go. And I have a great beard balm and apple cider recipe.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes.

SPEAKER_00:

We talked about that prior to recording.

SPEAKER_01:

So yeah, the two things I needed to figure out. I was like, my husband about his beer this weekend, and I'm like, I need to get some kind of conditioner balmy thing. And I've been on the hunt for apple cider, like really good apple cider that I couldn't find at Publix. And of course, Jensen happened to make both of those things this weekend. So storefront, beer and bomb apple cider recipes. Comment for those, right?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_01:

So tell us a little bit about um what you're doing now, and then let's kind of take that back all the way to like the beginning of your relationship, especially with like movement and nutrition, um and and how you landed where you are.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, of course. Um now, so as of this day, I am recovering from a torn Achilles tendon, and at the same time helping middle-aged men, dads, uh, dad bods, fellas that just want to get in better shape. A lot of times when we reach middle age, right, we look back and we're like, oh, I was a great athlete. What happened to me? And it's like life happened, you know, and it's that's just the reality of it. Um I went through it after multiple injuries, and then my current injury that I'm recovering from, you know, I put on weight, and then it got to the point where my workouts that I used to do, they don't work anymore. I've changed over the years. My body doesn't respond to the same workouts. Um I was held a really, really, really low body fat percentage for the greater part of my life. Like into my late 30s, I was probably around 10, 12% body fat. Um, and it was easy, it was intuitive. I could I knew what I needed to fuel myself, and then I started creeping up more, injuries happened, and I put on weight. I'm like, what the heck? Like, where did that come from? Okay, I'll do my workouts. The workouts weren't working, like eating the same. I had to change a lot. Um and then hiring nutritionists. I hired four nutritionists over the course of a number of years, none of them really nailed it for me. Um, however, they all inspired me because I knew it was something. I knew there was something kind of holistic, right? Something natural that I can do and not tap into appetite suppressants or things like that. I just I just didn't want to go that route, you know. I know a lot of people do, and that's on them. Cool. As long as you're learning how to be healthy and you're not just relying on that, you know, but that's another podcast. So I so I decided to get my own education in nutrition, uh, to become a nutrition coach. Um, and what I loved about the certification that I ended up getting is really based on uh relationships with food uh and the emotional aspect of it. Uh because once you can dial in and control most of that, uh become more disciplined, you have you just add years to your life. So that's where I am right now. I'm helping uh helping gentlemen, you know, kind of overcome the obstacles that you know, maybe it's you know hustling kids here to there, working in a nine to five and a five to nine. And you know, how do you manage to get healthy when you neglect yourself because you're so busy doing everything else? So that's where I'm at right now. Um and it's it's very rewarding. I love it. Uh it definitely brings me back to when I used to be a teacher. I get the same gratification helping people with their nutrition um as I did when I was teaching.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. I and every time you're talking about it, I think like it's like the dad bod challenge, right? You don't have to necessarily be a dad or even have a dad bod, but it's the idea of hitting middle life and getting to reno your body, which is like something women usually surprise them too. We become like a different person, 40 plus, and have to meet those those needs. And they're it's it's like second puberty, I call it. It's like, what the fuck is going on with my body? And it's not just, you know, women. I think women talk about it a lot more. And obviously, we're going through like pretty intense hormonal shifts at that time too. Um, but I think guys start to experience that like you said, especially if you're in tune with your body and you start to be like, I can't like turn the levers like I used to and have things flow seamlessly. Like, what is this?

SPEAKER_00:

100%. You nailed it. And I think we you and I have mentioned this or talked to each other about this briefly in the past. Um, general practitioners, when it comes to like, doc, what's wrong with me? What's working? General practitioners, you know, they're they're cycling through, they're churn and burn, like 60, you know, clients a day and they're overlapping five at a time or what have you. So they look at your blood results and be like, oh, you need a statin or you need this, and it's just like, whoa, pump breaks. I don't want to take that pill for the rest of my life, and all the side effects, like, why? Like, is there anything else I could do? Um, and I went through that too. So, you know, after I went through that with my general practitioner, I hired another nutritionist and I was like, Man, it I am just not the same as I used to be, talking to my wife, and uh I did more lab work and I talked to a hormone specialist. Um, and that was huge. So that I'm like six weeks in to uh protocol now, and uh I just and this coming Saturday I go in for my second lab work so I could revisit everything, see where my levels are. But um you know, for the men that are listening or the ladies that are gonna introduce this podcast to the men, um your general practitioner may see your testosterone at 500 and say, Oh, you're you're good, you're in range for your age. But when you talk to a professional, like hormone specialist, a clinician, when it comes to hormone specialists, they don't look at it as you're in range, they look at it as like optimal or suboptimal. And every man on this planet is different. So whereas my general practitioner said, Oh, you're good, don't worry about it. You know, just work out more. Um hormone specialist was like, Oh, you're suboptimal because there's no way you should be feeling these things at your age. So, you know, aside from you know, nutrition and you know, working out at our age, it's beneficial. Even if you feel good, it's still beneficial to get a tune-up, right? To go and see what the diagnostics read and know where you're going in the future. Like, I wish I was getting lab work at 20, at 30, at 35, at 40, at 45. I'm creeping up on 50 now. If I had one every 10 or five years, I would be so much more prepared for what is next.

SPEAKER_01:

I can't figure like clapping my hand because I'm always trying to impart that like on women, and I love hearing the male perspective too. And yes, and I say this with love, sort of, but like fuck so many of those general practitioners. No offense. I know there's reasons, life is hard, insurance, all of the things, but like what? Oh, you're in normal range for whom, right? If I'm hitting 42 and it's like quote, normal range, but at suddenly at 37 I start to experience like symptom creep that just keeps progressing, then that means my body, my normal range has decreased dramatically. And what you said, if you're listening to this, get your lab work done every year, get your hormones tested. That is the only way to create a baseline for what's normal for you.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

If you don't have a benchmark, you don't know how to improve it or how far behind the curve you are.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and then you're lost and you're like, well, if I'm normal, why do I feel this way? Like, let us do the growth work for you. Go get the test. If you're experiencing a lot of XYZ symptoms, you can talk to both of us, but likely like you're gonna need some supplementation to get back to what's normal for you. And like, I'm loving that you did that. And it's it's so important. If if we're not like hormonally baselined, it's like pushing a giant car up the hill to get to like our nutrition goals or our movement goals because like we're not gonna be metabolically sound if our hormones are fucked, like we're just not, it's so hard.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I actually partnered with them. So um uh the the company I went through is blokes. Um, their website is like joyandblokes.com, I think. So they have a women's side um for hormone therapy. Uh that's the Joy, J-O-I, and Blokes is the guy side. Um, I actually became an advocate. So I filled out an application, I talked to clinicians and stuff like that. They accepted me as part of their partner program. So now like I'm getting education through them regarding like if anybody has questions about their products or their services, like I can be an advocate and kind of coach the person through you know the process of getting therapy with them. So it's as so much value to it, it's crazy to not give it a shot, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

I totally agree. And I think like just that right there, having the hormonal education and having a service or somewhere for people to go to get that done, the testing done, in sync with doing the nutritional part is like that that's what we all need, right? So, same with my clients. I'm like, we gotta find you a hormone provider. Um, we have to find somebody to do XYZ. Otherwise, like all the stuff we're doing is it's like gonna be so much harder.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. Yeah. For so long, it was just like nobody wanted to admit that they had low libido, low testosterone, or guys would never want to admit that they're having mood swings. You know, there's just this stereotype on on men, you know, where it's just like you wake up, you work, you provide for your family, you go to sleep. You wake up, you work, you provide for your family, and go to sleep. And um it feels like now in 2025-26 that it's a little bit more okay for guys to talk about things uh and actually have an emotion, you know, whereas a lot of my growing up, there was no such thing, like, you know, men don't act like that. But now, um, now that I'm going through it, I'm like, wow, I could be 10x healthier if I would have been exposed to this stuff sooner. You know, like hopefully that, you know, the stuff that I just started social media, so hopefully the stuff that I'm putting out on social media could expose the 30 somethings at least to be like, oh, hold on, let me let me listen to this guy or let me go see a specialist um before I'm knocking on 50's door.

SPEAKER_01:

Um yeah, absolutely. And that's sort of like the the foundation of being like a person who likes to help others. It's like if I can get this information out and help like cut the learning curve down for other people, then like we're doing our job. And for for males, like, yes, getting the hormones tested, figuring out where you're at, admitting that something doesn't feel right, and that is hand in hand with like mental health, right? Like it all fits in. If our hormones are not stabilized, we're gonna have mental health issues, and vice versa. So yeah, I love that. Um okay, so we're kind of circle back and get Some history, but I almost want to just like interject the piece about a client that you started working with and for people to keep their eyes out to see what it's like and having it um documented from start to kind of finish to like what it's like working with you for up to a year. So let's talk a little bit about Derek. And Derek's gonna be on the pod next week with both Jensen and I. Um, and he's so excited to begin this journey, and he's basically like kind of ground zero client, right? Has had so many different um journeys with his own body and body image. And I know it's a super emotional journey for him. Um, and so I'm really excited to see the trajectory of that. So we're gonna be documenting it. So keep following along, but tell me a little bit about that. Sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So Derek and I have already talked uh, well, through messaging on a couple occasions and Thursday, we have a Thursday morning call that we're gonna hop on. So got Derek set up on an app that we can share. So Derek is logging all of his meals, so he's uh putting in every meal or every ingredient to his recipes, so I can see his macro count and the calories that he's consuming throughout the day, and he's updating his weight once a week on the app as well. So we could essentially go seven full days without talking, but I know exactly what he's doing, and that gives me an opportunity to do homework throughout the week, and then we have our weekly call. Um, but I've also texted him like three times already like, hey, let's try this. And oh, I see you've been consistent here. Let's try adding this. Um, I'm not gonna talk too much about his journey because I'll let him explain you know some of the story and what we're doing, but I will tell the use uh the listeners um that Derek is under eating, and I think a vast majority of the population under eats, but is overweight, and I don't think they understand why. So I'll be brief about this and then we could we can move on.

SPEAKER_01:

When when you understand I just want to emphasize that point again, I almost want you to read it. There are so many people who are overweight and who are under eating, and this just blows the whole like calories in calories out. That that might be how you got to that weight, but in the maintenance of it and the fight to lose it, you might be doing all kinds of other things that are basically fall into the category of disordered eating, and like 100% there, I get it. Like, and and what we do when we flip on the switch in our brain that's like it's time to lose weight, like we do some fucked up shit. So like I love what you just said though, like a vast majority, a lot of the population is overweight and this is undereating and it's not working.

SPEAKER_00:

No, uh, because and that's just they're they're trying, right? They're they're going by what logically makes sense. If I don't consume a lot of calories, I can't put on weight, right? So when you think about it like that, be like, yeah, the math maths. However, they're so our bodies are so unique and meticulous and in how they operate. It's like if you don't, for example, let's say you're consuming 1200 calories a day, right? That is severely under eating. A toddler needs 1200 calories a day to survive. So you're talking about an adult male, for example, you know, late 30s all the way up to around 50-ish. Um, we should be trying to average 2,000 calories a day for someone with a sedentary job. If you're in construction manual labor or you participate in a lot of athletics, you should be upward in your 2400 to 2600 calories a day. So you get some folks that are consuming maybe 800 calories a day and they think that they should be losing weight. But what happens when you get that low on a caloric deficit, your body thinks you're trying to starve it. So if your body goes into this oh shit mode, he's starving me, they're gonna your body's gonna hang on to all the fat, all the carbohydrates it possibly can to fuel you. You're gonna be in a lethargic state. You won't have energy to do things, you won't be motivated to do things, you'll probably you know experience a form of depression through all of this. It's because your body isn't receiving the right kind of fuel and nutrients. Even though your intent to lose weight was a good intent, you're just not doing it in a healthy manner. So, what makes this really hard is that that person now wants to lose weight, but we need to get them healthy first. So we need to get them up to 2,000 calories before we can focus on losing weight, and that sucks because we all want instant gratification. The person wants to lose weight, it took them 10 years to put on the weight, but they want to lose it tomorrow. It's just like, uh, but now you have to eat more before we can have you eat less. Because I need to save your life before we get rid of your fat. And it's it's it's really difficult. That's the hard part, and that's usually the bad news to the client. But um, yeah, uh Derek, he he was an undereater. I was an undereater at one point too. Uh, when I hired my first nutritionist, I thought I was I was eating clean, I was eating organic, I was eating all healthy stuff, and I was like a thousand calories below what I should have been. So it's common, you know, and that's kind of part of Derek's journey. And I know he'll explain more when we all meet.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I I love that. And thank you for explaining that because I think that point is lost on a lot of people, and when you go into too much of a deficit, it's like, well, no, you're certainly probably not gonna gain weight here, right? But you're also not gonna lose, like your body's gonna start getting stingy with what it was.

SPEAKER_00:

You're gonna you're gonna gain other problems, yeah. Our hormones are already changing in midlife, and now you deprive it of nutrients, and now they're really freaking out. Anxiety kicks in, depression kicks in, mood swings get more severe, you know. Food equals mood. So if you're not eating right, everything goes wonky. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. Yeah, so our health and our our midlife is is really like hinged upon like how metabolically healthy are we and how hormonally healthy are we. Like we really have to look at those things first. The weight part will be third in line, fourth in line, whatever it is, but we have to make sure metabolically and hormonally sound first.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, we need to be healthy, emotional individuals. Yeah, we have to have as much control over ourselves as possible. And when we don't, that's when you know trouble starts.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And so for anyone listening, and you know, it was interesting when after I sat in on you know your first kind of Zoom with with Derek and I was reflecting some of that to my husband, and and of course, like he's super active at work, so he averages anywhere between naturally 12 and 20,000 steps a day without trying, and he's he's very on the on his feet. And I started thinking, you know, he was talking about having some brain fog lately or a little bit of low energy, and I'm like, just walk me through like what you're eating, like because he eats the same thing basically every day. And I'm like, you're about a thousand calories under what you need to be eating. And I'm like, we start there, like you have to start there. Um, and so for anybody who's listening, if you've like been in one of those I've always I'm always trying to lose weight categories and start to hear these numbers just since throwing out, it probably feels like a threat to your nervous system to hear you have to eat more because that's been a threat to you, right? And getting over the emotional threat and and trusting somebody. And that's why I think working with somebody, if you've always been trying to lose weight and it's always been a struggle or you've been successful and then not and up and down, et cetera, finding somebody to support you is so important because then you can just kind of trust their knowledge, trust that it's gonna be okay, and trust that whatever happens, it's figure outable.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

It's going to be figure outable. And it's okay to have to feel like it's threatening you to say, no, I need to get you up to 2000 first. Like feel your feelings, trust your your partner because you're partnering with people, like trust your partner in this and and go along for the journey and commit to it because it's a long game.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, absolutely. And it's it's one of those things like choose your difficulty. We've all heard this, we've all heard it at this point. It's all over social media. You know, you could you could not do it, and in 10 years from now, deal with the difficult, the difficulty of the doctor visits, of the multiple medications, so on and so forth, or deal with the difficult now. Extend your life, and then in 10 years not need the medicines, not need the doctor visits, you know, because you're living a healthy lifestyle. So, yeah, it's one of those things where I think anybody in your profession or my profession, we could look at it and be like, Do you need to do this now? It's silly to not do this now, but you need buy-in from your family, you you know, having family support is one thing. You know, I've had I've had two clients specifically that have come to me and I told them, I'm like, we'll get started when your wife is on board. And it's like two weeks, three weeks, one week, like, cool. If your wife is on board, because this is a lifestyle change, it's not just like you know, buying one new thing at the grocery store. Like the whole family is gonna see you changing what you eat and how you consume food and your relationship with food. Everybody needs to be on board. So, like, you talk to your wife. If she wants to talk to me, that's cool. I'll have a meeting with all of us, like, all good because I want what's best for you. But there's no point in starting now if you're still gonna be like snacking on you know the leftover Cheetos or French fries. So everybody has to live in, everybody has to be in on it.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that, and that's often what I bump into with people who come and want to help or want help with like their relationship, but they're coming in to therapy alone. It's like at some point we will be having the conversation with the partner. Like, this is not you cannot try to do all this on your own, it just won't work.

SPEAKER_02:

Sure.

SPEAKER_01:

You're so heavily influenced by our family system, whether we're related to the person that we're living with or not. Like if you're under the same roof with them, you're basically sharing a nervous system in so many ways. So like we have to get everybody on board. And that's why these, I think a lot of these um ideas of getting healthy scare a lot of people because I think they intuitively sense that through the journey, if they're really gonna do it, a lot of the stuff that they've been hiding from, whether it's relational, emotional, it's coming up. It is coming.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_01:

No, it's gonna happen, it's gonna get harder before it gets better. That stuff you've been sweeping under the rug, like, yeah, it's coming out.

SPEAKER_00:

You think you were vulnerable before? Just wait until you have to sit down with yourself. So, like if I had to sit down with you, Katie, and talk about if I thought I was vulnerable before, like eventually it would all pour out. When you're having to change your nutrition and you start eating differently, and you're still looking at food the way you used to, and you know you have to change or trust your nutritionist. Oh, it all comes out, it all does. And we're all emotional basket cases hidden behind bad habits. I include myself in that statement, by the way. I am very much I'm the ringleader.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and that's sort of like the like the bitch, but also the silver lining of midlife is that like when our hormones start shifting, it's like way harder to keep sweeping things under the rug, and it's like this rug is dirty. Fuck. Like, I there's no room left to sweep. What am I gonna do?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, also, right, we get to this age in midlife, and we're mature enough now to know when to hire a specialist in that area. I could change the light switch in my house, I could put new taillights on my Jeep. I would be really freaked out if I had to go in there and change an actual breaker from the breaker box. It might be easy, but that's one of those things where it's just like I'm gonna hire an electrician for this. I can replace a PVC pipe, but I don't think I could snake a toilet. I need to hire a plumber for this, right? I've been trying to lose weight for the past nine years. I've hired this person and that person. I've been unsuccessful. Maybe it's time to hire a nutritionist for this. You know, it's like at our age, we start to see those things and respect the specialty of it. So it's it's good timing, if anything.

SPEAKER_01:

I love that. Okay, so say that someone is in in midlife, right? Let's we're gonna, I'm just referring to your clientele as dad bods. Again, you don't have to be a dad or have a dad bod, but it's like the idea of my body's changing. So say somebody, um, let's take my husband, for example. If he was like, all right, I've been experiencing some like fatigue and a little bit of rain fog, um, I'm gonna look at my nutrition and and try to hack it myself. How much time would you say someone, quote, should spend on trying to do that themselves before it it doesn't work and they should outsource it? Like if if you've been hacking this for three months and nothing has changed, time to hire or one month, or like what would you what would you say?

SPEAKER_00:

That's tough because there's so much noise out there. We're exposed to so it's oh we're inundated with influencers and experts and YouTube and social media. It's you could go a whole day on YouTube and come out of it thinking you're an expert. You know, so one day you're an expert, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Um there's like PhD last night, it took me three hours.

SPEAKER_00:

I got a YouTube black belt. Let's go. Um so it's kind of tough, right? I think it's important to at least understand where your daily macro count should be, like your caloric intake should be. And it and then use a tracking app, you know, and track your food. And if you are nowhere near 2,000, 2400 calories or whatnot, you're nowhere near that, um it would probably be worth even if you don't even if you're not calling up and like, hey Jensen, um, I'd like to work with you, uh, you know, six month, you know, program. Even if you're not willing to jump into something like that, it'd be like, hey Jensen, can I pay you for like an hour or two hour consult? Can you just show me the right direction, right? At least then they would be educated in a one-on-one sense and not reliant on a 26-year-old influencer telling a 46-year-old what they need to do. So it I think it's you know, one month, two months, three months, four months. You know, if you've gone four months trying things on your own and you haven't experienced change, you're probably three months behind the curve already.

SPEAKER_01:

So that so it's like the opportunity cost, you know.

SPEAKER_00:

Opportunity costs nailed it.

SPEAKER_01:

And like at this age, I always, you know, I talk to my husband a lot about like the gift of health. And so I like no shame on how anyone spends their money. I'm in a place this year, especially the last couple of years, where I'm like, instead of spending a lot of money on vacations, like I'm spending that on my health. Like vacations will I want to feel my best while going on trips or doing whatever. And so I'm thinking to myself, like, the gift of health, like for him, would like a two-hour consult with Jensen and then like, you know, a 10-minute follow-up every couple of weeks or a month or two, is like to me the best. And like everybody buy this for your husband's the best gift to get somebody, it takes the guesswork out of it, it takes the research, it takes what app do I use, how do I do this? What how much how should I add this in? Who should not eat? Like you said, we're in information overload. And even with Chat GBT, it's like, okay, I have a plan. And it's not the same thing as working with somebody because you could you could submit the same information five minutes later and it could spin out a slightly different plan. And so for me, like being in the helping field, I'm like, just cut cut the learning curve down. Like you feel fatigued, you have some brain fog, you haven't. I I think a lot of men to avoid going to the doctor.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

Talk about that phenomenon. Like, when was the last time you got a full physical from somebody who knows what they're doing, not somebody who's churning and burning, somebody who sits with you who does a full blood work panel? I'm talking about you probably don't even know what they're testing for, right? You go to your primary care, they're gonna run like four basic tests, you get the thumbs up because you're not dead, you come back a year later. I'm talking about somebody, and you know the difference when you're in the presence of a doctor who gives a fuck and understands what they're doing and can give you comp comprehensive answers. How many men avoid that? I can think off the top of my head, like, I'm not gonna name names, but like you know who you are.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

What are you afraid of?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Go to the doctor. And so for me, yeah, like, okay, so this episode will come out after Christmas because I think one of the things I'm gonna give my husband is a consult with Jensen, because one thing I will say, like, and we're talking about different types of men, just like there's so many different types of women. Derek has had a struggle with his body and his weight his whole life. And so he's he's signed up with you, he's gonna work with you for six, eight, twelve months. It's a long plan. You know, someone like my husband who's been lean and in really good shape his whole life, pretty naturally, pretty easily. He pays attention to what he eats. And whatever little lever he has in his brain, you can say, Hey, you can't ever eat gluten again because it's not good for you. He'll be like five minutes of sadness, and then he'll say, Okay, and he'll just do it and do it consistently. And it's like awe-inspiring. I'm like, damn, that's like so easy for him. I'm more in like a Derek boat, like more right-brained and more emotional, and like it, my my body reflects different seasons of my life. My husband's not like that. So for him, a great tune-up would be a two-hour consult with you, a brief check-in, you know, for a few weeks after, whatever that looks like. That would set him, that was exactly what he would need. And he would do it and it would work, and that's that.

SPEAKER_00:

He then it might be all he needs is to sit down and meet and be telling me, like, okay, track your food for a week, and we're gonna have our consult on Monday after I see everything you've consumed, you know, and then I could determine, like, okay, you're experiencing brain fog, a little lethargic midday, you need a double espresso to get you through from one o'clock to five o'clock. You know, okay, so this is what you're missing, you know, and then so try this for a week and we'll have another conversation the following Monday. And just tell me, do you feel any different around noon? Are you craving your double espresso or do you feel like you still have energy? So, yeah, sometimes just a gentleman such as your husband, you know, that can basically give them a list and the list is it's kind of like tucked away, factored, and everything's checked off. Something like that would be perfect. You know, somebody that's a little bit more emotional about their food or their habits or their environment that might be a little bit more uh an initial console would expose that and then at least allow that individual uh the opportunity to decide whether they want to revisit um or try to do it themselves. Yeah. Either way, you know, something like that could be beneficial.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. So I think that gives kind of a good idea for the spectrum that that you work with. So it's really tailored and curated for the individual. Ranging from people like my husband down the spectrum to people like Derek, which is like completely clinical and non-judgmental. It's like there's obviously a spectrum with every type of issue we work with. And here's what we're looking at. And the the idea is that there's just support, curated support for wherever you fall on that spectrum, which is awesome, right? So if you have like health goals or things you've struggled with your whole life, like I'm just making this up. But in my mind, I'd be like, okay, you're probably gonna need like six to 12 months of support because, like you said, this isn't instant gratification. This isn't like coming to the gym and like we're gonna get you in shape real quick. Like we could do that in our 20s. We're not in our 20s anymore. You know, like I couldn't go through the tire flips right now and be like, I could work just as hard and it wouldn't be reflecting because my hormones are like, fuck you, fuck you.

SPEAKER_00:

And we carry more weight, right? As as we age and we experience different things in life, different stressors in life, different sadness things that we go through in life, we carry more weight, which changes the way our brain functions, which changes the way our body functions. So, you know, as as we age and we get into midlife and then later on, it's it's important to have the long-term plan because you're gonna continue to experience those things, and you don't want to fall back into you know, beer and pizza four nights a week because you're depressed. Well, you're depressed because you haven't been eating well, and you probably could have handled that situation a little bit better if you were already a healthy individual, and so there's so much to it, there's absolutely so much to it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I love it. So we know that there's so many different components to health. We know that in midlife, being metabolically and hormonally healthy is so important, and so like I also love that you know, if you're working with a client, really looking at their hormones, seeing if they've gone to a doctor in the last five years, asking them to look into blood work, things like that, and looking at the whole picture is so important. So, um, I mean, per usual, we probably talk forever. So, in our next one-on-one episode, we're gonna get into kind of like your history with fitness and movement. But I think just talking about what we did today is a great opening and intro so people understand, okay. I think one of my biggest takeaways, especially for like my midlife audience, is like, you know, you share a nervous system with your household, get everyone on board. And if you're looking for somebody who can talk the talk and walk the walk and and sit with your partner, like this is this is your guy. So what's what's coming up for like dad bod challenge 2026? Like, what do you what do you what kind of clients are you looking for? Like, who are you interested in taking on right now? How many spots do you have? Like, sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, one thing I am gonna do is probably mid-January have uh an accountability group. It'll be free. I'm gonna set it up probably through Instagram because it's one of the only social media things that I know how to use. I'm too old for the other ones. I don't know how to TikTok yet. Um, so I'll set up an accountability account an accountability group for you know gentlemen my age, midlife. Um, and it'll be free. You hop in there and you can ask questions. Um, I'll be monitoring so I'll be able to answer those questions. Um obviously I won't be getting into the nitty-gritty of helping everybody with their individual macro counts, but it'll be an opportunity for them to get some nutrition tips or advice like straight from the horse's mouth, as well as folks that are in there and maybe have had experience with me for a few months, you know, they'll be able to chime in and be like, oh yeah, I did that too, and it worked, or it didn't work for me, but that doesn't mean it's not right for you. We're all different. So I'm gonna be having the accountability group probably mid-January, and I'll be announcing that to the folks that do follow me on Instagram. Um, and then as far as clients right now, I think I can safely take on I could take on any consultations, right? So if there's somebody that wanted a consultation, uh, I'd probably do an hour call, like an hour introductory, 30 minute to an hour introductory, and then an hour follow-up after a week of consistent uh meal tracking. Because then I would have data to actually report on to that person. But I could take on an endless amount of folks in that scenario because that's a short-term commitment. As far as long-term commitments, um, I probably going into January have enough capacity for six to seven because if I take on too many, then I start neglecting others, and that's not fair to the clients that already exist. So six to seven clients in the new year, I would have capacity um to help uh anywhere between a six to twelve month program.

SPEAKER_01:

Awesome. Okay, so we're gonna put in the show notes how you can reach Jensen. He's gonna be back on the podcast, and Derek will be joining us at different points throughout the journey so you can really see um document that and what it's like physically, emotionally, all of the things um and logistically and working with Jensen. Um, if you're interested in giving the gift of help this year to yourself or a loved one, make sure to reach out so that you can set up a consult. Sounds pretty easy, right? We do 30 to 60 minutes on the front end, track for a week or so, do an hour consult after we get the data. No cheating when you're doing the data collection. Don't try to eat super clean if you don't usually, right? We're not like we don't want skewed data. We want, we want the the download of what's going on. And then through that, I imagine you know, someone could it would become clear what kind of support would probably work best for them.

SPEAKER_00:

Uh absolutely, yeah, yeah. And I'd be able to give them, you know, a protocol, right? This is what you're currently doing. Swap this for that, swap this for that, consider taking this supplement. And if they wanted to do any of that through me, they could. I would never, I would never tell them to. If they came to me and they were like, hey, well, where can I get this? Then I would obviously offer that. But um it I would basically want to equip them with a roadmap that they could take ownership of and give it a give it a go, you know, and then obviously I would always be there, you know, to know if they ever needed it.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I see it like um they're they're gonna hike a mountain and it's like I'm gonna give you either like the self-guided map, like you have some experience in this, you know what you're doing, here's your map for this mountain, or like, oh, you've never put on a backpack. I'm gonna I'm gonna give you a tour. Yeah, I'm gonna walk you through the mountain. Like I'm your actual guide as we do this. So it's just all about I think knowing yourself best. And I I think one of the most valuable pieces of information someone can have is knowing that um, like there's no like shame or blame in wanting more support. It's the smartest thing you can do is know from like before you take your first step towards that mountain whether or not you need a guide.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01:

Like it is like invest in that because when you start and you're halfway up that mountain and you don't know what the fuck you're doing, like you don't want to die on that mountain. It's not worth, you know, like what are we? I know you have to turn around, walk all the way back, take a minute to cry, and then a year later you'll try again, but now you're hiring the person you should have hired to begin with. So do yourself and everyone around you the favor of of figuring out which hiker you are.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And you know what, if I might, if I may, before we wrap up, um ladies, if your male counterpart is is listening or or you have anything to share with them, talk to them, like don't wait for an emergency. I mean don't wait for a health scare to get your shit together. Like that's the worst. Like, don't wait for k fibs, don't wait for heart palpitations, don't wait for numbness in a limb. Don't don't wait for jaw pain. Like, don't the longer you wait, the the more you're gonna need the hospital. And at that point, I'm not gonna be as much help for you. Or or any nutritionist, not just me, any nutritionist, right? Like if you're not gonna talk to me, talk to somebody. Like find a professional somewhere that can help you with your nutrition because at our age, we really don't have a lot of time to fuck around.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, and I think, you know, what would what would you tell somebody who's, you know, our age, whose spouse doesn't go to the doctor and hasn't, and and they don't know how to bring that up to them? How would you and and recognizing here too, guys, that like health issues can hide in plain sight and someone that like looks, I mean, how does someone look healthy ultimately, right? You can have somebody who has like, quote, great blood work, metabolic markers, you know, dropping dead when they're taking the trash out. So, like, how how as a guy, as a man, and we'll talk more about this in another episode, but just to leave you with something to take away, how what's the best way to approach a partner who seems really closed off to wanting to discuss their health? And like, and part of that is like health is a household issue.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Like so that's I think that's a that's a great question, and it's it's a vulnerable question because I think guys our age they grew up like our parents are boomers, right? So you know, I remember growing up like I never cursed in front of my parents, and the only time it was okay to curse in front of my parents, you know, um, was never. So it was like you break your hand and walk it off, rub it hard on it, you know, you pop your knuckles and move on. You know, like you scrape your knee, like that's not a scrape. Like suck it up, finish the game, you know, like we heard that suck it up a lot, right? Um, so I think I think it's really hard for for guys our age to have that conversation. Um even if you have a healthy relationship at home, I think it's like so wired in us, it's difficult for us to be vulnerable about mental health and physical health because we're always we were always taught just to push through the pain to get the job done. That's your role as a man. So I think, ladies, if you wanted to talk to your you know, your the guy in your life about this stuff, I think you need to and you may already do this, so I'm not making assumptions or implying anything, don't take it that way. But make sure that when he is around you, there is peace. I think if there's turmoil, if there's drama, or you're just reporting back on drama, you know, and he's just listening, you know, that's not a peaceful environment for him to be vulnerable. Because innately we're gonna be like, if I get vulnerable and I cry in front of my wife or my girlfriend or whoever, like they're gonna see me as weak, or they're gonna use this against me in the future. You know, so I think you can have those healthy conversations if you offer like peace at home. That's I think one of the biggest things that I could uh say.

SPEAKER_01:

It's and I'm so curious about people listening, what they think about that, because that's such a loaded ask, right? Or vice versa, being like, what about but what you're really saying is that physical health and having vulnerable conversations about anything and including physical health can only really happen in a safe, trusting environment, right? And and so that might also be another reason why people avoid those conversations. We don't know how to have safe, vulnerable, hard conversations.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so then it and that's kind of what we're talking about earlier with rug sweeping. It's like if if you want to go here, all this other stuff comes with it, right? Because if if I want to approach my partner about their physical health, which can be such a vulnerable topic, we have to already have safety and trust and a relatively calm kind of household nervous system.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

We don't, this is just gonna be another fight. And if we're right about it and a callus builds, we're a lot less likely to try to reapproach the same topic.

SPEAKER_00:

And he will shut down big time.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So yeah. Yep. So it's it's tough. Uh, I think you have to create a peaceful environment, a place where he is willing to talk about these things and be vulnerable. And you have to be ready because when he does, he's gonna open up, floodgates are gonna happen, and you're gonna have to get ready to go and you know buy kale. Maybe not kale. Kale is gross. I would try something different.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's only the kale, but it's like if I want them to work on their health, and then they do, and I'm not willing to join them in that, where does that leave us? And there's so we've already identified today, like seven barriers to entry that I think a lot of people bump up against. And a part of that is like then hiring the nutritionist for yourself, learning how inviting the other person in is a great way to start that, but make sure that you're not gonna be a hypocrite in a minute, like make sure you're taking care of your own health in a way that is supportive in the family, and then they can and join you, and vice versa, book a therapy session, right? Because if you can't talk to them about their physical health, how many other things are you not feeling safe and trusting to talk to them about? So I I love this because the barrier to entry for physical health and midlife is everything. Like it doesn't come cheap. You gotta make sure you can communicate, you gotta there's so many other facets that really have to be in alignment to get there and to stay there.

SPEAKER_00:

And as a partner, you have to be willing to sacrifice, not just support. Part of support is sacrifice, right? You know, if I was if I was having a nightcap every night, you know, that's that was doing a lot of damage to my body. You know, so if I talk to my nutritionist and he's like, dude, you gotta pump the brakes. We need we need to lay off the nightcaps, man. You need to you need to try to go to bed at 9 30. Don't stay up until 11 with the with the finger of bourbon. You know? Well, if if he does that and you go out to dinner and you order a wine, that's that's hurting him indirectly because he wants to go home in nightcap. So it's kind of like you have to be willing to sacrifice, you have to be willing to do this together. And I think that comes down to the vulnerability, the safe, you know, peaceful place, and the conversations that you're gonna have. And some guys might be like, Yeah, hell yeah, let's go. I want to get ripped again. And then then it's easy, right? But usually if we have emotional issues and eating is has been the the solution for the years, uh it's gonna be more difficult than that.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And this is a real full circle back to kind of the way that we met and speaks to like in midlife, if you're prioritizing your health, your emotional and physical health, the barrier to entry is high. It is, and it's the same way with those fighters in the gym, right? Like I didn't walk into a 24-hour fitness, I walked into like a professional fighting gym, but that changed the way that I approached it. It was like you're gonna level up then. We're all here to do the same thing. We're not here to pretend that we're doing work. And I think that in midlife, it's the same thing. If you want to reach your physical and emotional health goals, like we're not here to pretend to do the work, we're not here to check the box. Like we're we're actually gonna do it and we're gonna sweat and we're gonna cry and we might vomit in the parking lot, but we're gonna get there and everyone will be better off for it and you can sustain it. Um I think that like after this conversation today, it's like, okay, yeah, this is why a lot of people aren't getting there or aren't even going to the doctor. Like the barrier to entry for like true physical and emotional health is so many facets, and the barrier to entry is high.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_01:

And like it is what it is, right? Like we're not gonna find otherwise. We're not gonna say it's it'll be fine and it's easy, and like like parts of it might kind of be for you, but a lot's gonna be hard. Your barrier to entry for this is high.

SPEAKER_00:

Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

And that's like too fucking bad.

SPEAKER_00:

We're at the age where we need to take ownership of our shit, you know. All of it. Yep.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, if we give less fucks about what everyone else thinks, we need to give more about what we think and how our body's responding to life. Like the fucks need to go somewhere. So yeah, like I hope that like people that are listening to this, you have that fighter spirit that like we're we're in the gym to get it done because um, you know, if if you want to work with us and you want the results, like the barrier to entry is high, and and you're gonna have to confront some things that you might not have even considered.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. And I and I'm sure you and I have heard it all. So it's like we won't even be we won't even be surprised.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, we'll be surprised. We'll have reverence for your journey and join you in on it, but you're not gonna shock us. And um it's just worth doing. The alternative isn't no, not at all.

SPEAKER_00:

I don't I don't want to be I don't want to be in my late 60s, you know, not not able to like go to my grandkids', you know, elementary school play because I'm bound at home on a dialysis machine or I got a walker, right? I don't want to be that guy.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, or even getting down and going to the beach and being able to get on the sand with them and build a sand castle and being like, I can't, like the work you do now gets rid of all the I can't in the future. And so it's just if you want to invest in something this year, like invest in your health. 100% stress that more. Okay, so check out the show notes if you want to get in touch with Jensen and he's gonna be back, you know, over and over again, and we're gonna tell more stories from our past and talk about our own life experiences and our own struggles with different things. Um, but thank you guys for listening. Um, be inspired to give give the gift of health this year if you have an open dialogue already with your partner about this stuff. Awesome. Um, you kind of have the the trajectory of how Jensen works with people, um, either with a shorter consult for a briefer period of time or the longer game plan. Um, I'm gonna sign my husband up and I'm gonna lead by example and um we can document that too. But yeah. Thank you.

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Katie Kovaleski

Host
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Natalie Diaz

Co-host