Showing Up Whole

What's Stopping You?: How to be honest about what's getting in your way!

• Christina Fletcher • Season 5 • Episode 10

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In today's episode Christina explores what holds us back from alignment and becoming our best selves during these chaotic times and how important it is to  do a deep dive into where the resistance comes from.

You will hear how:

  • Why your nervous system resists change and keeps you in old habits
  • How collective fear and chaos can disconnect you from your authentic frequency
  • The “poke it with a stick” practice to uncover subconscious blocks
  • Christina’s personal story of breaking free from the scrolling habit
  • How breaking promises to yourself affects your energy, integrity, and self-trust
  • Why honesty is one of the most powerful spiritual frequencies
  • Practical steps to align with your higher self every day
  • How small, consistent habits ripple out light into the collective


Key takeaway: True alignment begins with honesty and self-accountability. When you keep promises to yourself and commit to small steps forward, your energy shifts, helping you anchor into your truth and shine light in a chaotic world.

Resources & Links Mentioned in This Episode:





Christina Fletcher is a Spiritual Alignment coach, energy worker, author, speaker and host of the podcast Showing Up Whole.
She specialises in practical spirituality and integrating inner work with outer living, so you can get self development off of the hobby shelf and integrated as a powerful fuel to your life.

Through mindset, spiritual connection, intuitive guidance, manifestation, and mindfulness techniques Christina helps her clients overcome overwhelm and shame to find a place of flow, ease, and deep heart-centered connection.
Christina has been a spiritual alignment coach, healer and spiritually aware parent coach for 7 years and trained in Therapeutic Touch 8 years ago. She is also a meditation teacher and speaker.
For more information please visit her website www.spirituallyawareliving.com

Want to uncover where you need the most energy alignment?
Take her new Energy Alignment Quiz to identify which of your energetic worlds (mind, body, heart or spirit) needs aligning the most!

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Speaker 1:

Hi, welcome back to Showing Up Whole the place where we discuss alignment in mind, body, heart and spirit in every aspect of our lives. And today I want to talk about what's holding you back from that alignment. What's actually stopping you from really stepping in to the best version of yourself? We're living in really chaotic times. We can get tired of saying that phrase as much as we want, but the truth is is every single chapter of these current times feels like a different energy, a different sense of chaos and confusion, to be totally blunt. So let's navigate that together. Let's find out what's holding you back from really anchoring into yourself so that you don't get swirled up into the storm. Welcome back.

Speaker 1:

You know, it feels like every week we kind of embark on a new chapter of life, and I went away for my anniversary with my husband last week and when we came back I felt like everything had shifted yet again. And yet here we are at this really powerful, important, energetic time where we are being asked, during this eclipse season, during this season of autumn here in the Northern Hemisphere, during this last quarter of the year, we are being asked to really make sure we're aligned to the deepest version of who we can be. You may notice in your life that we are experiencing things from the past. I know a number of my clients who are suddenly having things that they thought were resolved all of a sudden reemerging and they're having to deal with them. I notice in my own life, in my family's life, we're finding old challenges that might be kind of coming up to be re-resolved or re-cleared. It's a fascinating time when you actually observe it energetically, when you look at how we are being asked to go deeper and deeper into an understanding of who we are individually, so that, therefore, then we can shine out into the collective, can shine out into the collective. This is what I really want you to understand and be able to actively pursue in your own life after this episode. It's the idea that we are each individual, individual lights, essences. I was just talking to someone talking about how we're each individual tones. We are our own individual frequencies on this piano or orchestra of life of the cosmos. Every single person is an individual energy and yet we find ourselves in situations where collective energy, these the gatherings of many, or the intention of many, or the voice of many, or this, this sense of the collective energy that seems to focus on one perspective. There's a lot of fear out there right now. There's a lot of anger out there right now. There's a lot of intense emotion out there, and it gets skewed and directed in various ways, but at the same time, because that's happening, it's very easy to have that feel like it's overpowering you, of who you are and your essence.

Speaker 1:

In these times, it's really important to remember that our nervous systems were not actually designed to deal with all of the things that they're dealing with right now. They weren't. We were rather designed to deal with our general vicinity, our village, as it were. We were not designed to be exposed to everything that is coming our way through online, through various medias, through various stories that we hear. That's not what was in our makeup, so what do we do about it? All right?

Speaker 1:

Well, again we are finding ourselves at this really important time, this important time of really gathering ourselves, time of really gathering ourselves, and yet what's fascinating is, something stops us from doing it, and that's what I want to poke around. My clients have gotten very used to me using the phrase we need to poke this with a stick, because sometimes, every so often, probably more often than we like to admit, we'll have something that we think, believe, practice, and it's buried so deep it's actually normalized for us to have it there. That can be something that just is a belief. It can be something that just stops us from pursuing what we want to do. It's often just a habit, and the term poking something with a stick is actually a kind of. I always see this image of kind of going to this thing and just kind of poking it like what are you, what is this? How do we actually shift this and move this? Does it move? And it's really important to actually poke what is holding you back from stepping into your best self with a stick. So let's be that stick.

Speaker 1:

We do this by first of all asking ourselves you know, what is it? That's something that you're trying to change or something to move forward to? What is the thing that keeps nagging at you that you know what is it? That's something that you're trying to change or something to move forward to. What is the thing that that keeps nagging at you that? Oh yeah, I really should do that one day or I really need. I mean, I find it all the time. Right, right now we're in the middle of a habit challenge over the Facebook group and it's like I really need more mindfulness in my life. I need to meditate more, I need to organize my life a bit better, or I need to start my days in a better spot. I need to not scroll as much. That's honestly, that's my personal one. Last year, I did a scrolling social media detox for my habit challenge and it was great, but now it sneaks back in there. So it's really important to acknowledge what are those things, because we normalize keeping them in the back of our heads, we normalize the sense of not fully committing to changing them.

Speaker 1:

Then September comes along and the truth is is that here, in this time of all this chaos that's surrounding us, one of the ways you can fully claim yourself, so that you're true to yourself, is by claiming one of those shoulds, one of those niggles that is getting in your way, because then you're going to claim your energy back from that. I see it like an energy cord, it's like an energy fishing line. It's like there's some part of you that's hooked into an old version or an old pattern and you're not willing to let it go. So why? Why aren't you willing to let it go? What is holding you back. Here's an example.

Speaker 1:

Okay, let's talk about my scrolling for a minute, all right, so I'm working with a new coach and I was given some questions to answer a little while ago and I was sitting with these questions of just you know where I want to head and what's holding me back from that? So I had this great image of where I was going ahead. I could really feel it, taste it, sense it. It was wonderful. I was excited and then it was like, well, what's holding me back? And what was holding me back was, quite frankly, social media. I could feel the difference between those people the person who is living my best life and the person who is sitting there scrolling, and I didn't like the one that was sitting there scrolling. So I looked at it I was on a coach to London at the time and I went okay, you know what this has to stop, made my mind up, got home later on and immediately watched as I picked up my phone and could feel the scrolling come back.

Speaker 1:

Of course, we can say, well, that's the dopamine and we all have those addictions. But why? Why, when I know it's holding me back, why do I still fall for it? And I can tell you bluntly, because I know, that the next version of myself is a little bit out of my comfort zone. It just is. It's a little bit out of my comfort zone. The most successful version of myself is a little bit out of my comfort zone. It just is. It's a little bit out of my comfort zone. The most successful version of myself, the highest version of myself, it's a stretch. That's an exciting stretch. It's what we're here for. We're all here to stretch. We're all here to grow and expand and we're all here to step a little bit out of our comfort zone. Year to step a little bit out of our comfort zone. But I can acknowledge that when I'm scrolling, I'm hiding, I'm hiding from the different steps that are going to take me to where I want to be. That's okay, I can admit it, I can acknowledge it, I can notice it. And when I start to reach for my phone, when I start to scroll, I can say there it is again.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I can allow myself small portions of time, but it's really important to poke something with a stick and ask ourselves why. So I'm asking you why? Why are you not taking the step that you know you need to take to move forward? Why, why, what is it serving you? I can tell you me not taking the steps I need to take. It's serving me because that means I don't have to step outside my comfort zone. Why is it yours? What do you need to do? That is holding you back if you don't. And yet you would still rather be held back than stepping forward, and I know that sounds really overdramatic. It's like Christina, I don't want to be held back. That's ridiculous. But our brains do, our brains really really do. Our brains would rather not do the thing that they know would move us forward, because then we don't have to change. That's safety for a brain. A brain likes its habits, it likes its patterns, it likes its balance. It's that sense of homeostasis, right, it's its comfort zone, it's its safe zone. So it doesn't want you to change.

Speaker 1:

The other interesting thing that can come out of this too is that sometimes we actually go well, yeah, I'll try, I'll try to change, I'll try to shift that. I'm going to try to do better. We kind of go half hog. Fascinating reason why we will sometimes go half hog is because we actually want to give us the out. We want to give ourselves the excuse. You might have actually felt this I know I have where all of a sudden you go yeah, but I don't fully commit. If it doesn't work out, then I can just blame myself for not fully committing. We give ourselves fall safes, we give ourselves space for excuse so that we don't actually have to run that last little mile. Of course, there's also the drama card. There's also our addiction to friction. Easily know that if we don't do the thing, then we get to still get addicted to the friction, the drama, the sense of intrigue. Well, what happens if we don't? What is actually all of this chaos? How do I feel? Oh, I'm just going to keep post looking and exposing myself to all of these heavier things, because who knows what will come up with it, and I want to find out how it ends.

Speaker 1:

I might be sounding a little bit more cynical today, and I don't mean to. It's rather a question of. I want to encourage you to really do a deep dive and look within yourself to ask yourself what is it that's holding you back from claiming your best, most vibrant, most brilliant self? Do you feel guilty that other people might not be able to thrive and be joyful? So, therefore, then you want to hold yourself back from shining bright.

Speaker 1:

We can say these things and they sound so ludicrous when we actually speak them out loud, but the truth is is this is actually how we subconsciously or subtly function. There are stories deep within ourselves that can hold us back, and it's really important to acknowledge them, to know them, to love yourself through them and then start looking at the simple steps that are actually going to take you out of them. I mean, this is what clients and I work on all the time. We're continually putting things in place to make sure that they as in my clients have those things in place and I can hold them accountable for that. It is a question of saying what those small steps are so that they can truly show up as who they are every day, and it's hard, are every day, and it's hard. Sometimes. That habit can take three, four, five weeks to fully establish because our brains have been functioning one way for a very long time.

Speaker 1:

So it is a question of being compassionate with yourself, gentle with yourself, considerate to yourself, loving for yourself, and, at the same time, ask yourself why are you not making sure you hold yourself accountable? There's a few things I want to cover here too, because it's really important to acknowledge what you're promising yourself and why you're breaking that promise what you're promising yourself and why you're breaking that promise. And then it's a question of actually looking at what that does to your frequency and why that's really important right now to rectify because your frequency is needed. So I'm going to stop. I'm going to take a drink Give me a minute and we're going to cover that, because we're standing in a time where we have to claim our honor. Nobody else can do that for us. So let's just look a little bit more into that. Okay, just give me one sec. I know how.

Speaker 1:

There's nothing worse than your mind chattering away, feeling like it's out of control. Than your mind chattering away, feeling like it's out of control. It seems like the more you try to get it quiet, the louder it manages to get. It's even worse when you're trying to sleep. It's like the most stressful thoughts kick up a fuss just before you climb into bed.

Speaker 1:

Energy alignment affects every aspect of yourself. Energy alignment affects every aspect of yourself. Your spiritual connection actually can affect your sleep, and if your head is chattering, chances are you are in need of an energetic shift, especially if you want a restful night. I have the perfect remedy for you and, best of all, right now it's free. The Spiritual Sleep Solution Bundle shares powerful steps for energy alignment with you to get you aligned to sleep From the physical practice of clearing your energy from the day and a meditation along with an energy healing to soothe you off to slumber. This bundle has you covered. No more restless sleeps, no more tossing and turning, rather simply spiritually connected slumber. You also get a PDF guide to a few ways to clear energy from your home and some tips to support your bedtime All for free. Download it now at spirituallyawarelivingcom. Aligned to sleep or at the link in the show notes below. And sweet dreams. Okay, so here we go.

Speaker 1:

We are talking about really making sure that you are acknowledging the things that you've told yourself you need to do and then acknowledging the reasons why you hold yourself back from that and how. Here we are in this really noisy, chaotic, often rather scary, angry, intense world at this time rather scary, angry, intense world at this time and we are being asked to do those things that really claim ourselves, because that's how we actually anchor in to our own truth. Now here's the thing it's a slippery. It's a slippery slope because often we tell ourselves, oh, I really like my scrolling thing, oh, I really need to stop scrolling. We tell ourselves, oh, I really like my scrolling thing, oh, I really need to stop scrolling, really need to to anchor into this and choose a different way of functioning.

Speaker 1:

The minute we say that in some ways we actually make a contract with ourselves. We tell ourselves that we're going to do something and then when our brain takes over and our neural pathways and our habits take over and we suddenly don't do the things that we promised ourselves we would do, we actually are training ourselves to not trust ourselves. We can't keep our own word. That means that we actually can't be reliable. It means that anytime you actually say you're going to do something, there may be part of you over time that starts to wonder whether you'll actually do it. That is, you know that chipping away at ourselves, where we suddenly aren't standing in our own integrity and I'm being harsh on myself in this as well, because this is something that I deal with continually. So it's really important to acknowledge the chipping away that you're doing at yourself and choose to stop, choose to actually keep promises to yourself and be very aware of what those promises are to yourself and be very aware of what those promises are.

Speaker 1:

I heard the other day that honesty is one of the strongest frequencies that we can find and I really loved hearing that. You know, we have a tendency to, you know, to, to, to have these kinds of overarching thoughts that we've thought a lot about. You know, it's like love is the purest frequency, love is the purest energy and of course, it is one of the purest energies. It's the same as when you actually heard for the first time you know, fear is the opposite of love, not hate, and you go, oh, that's, that's kind of interesting. There's a lot in this.

Speaker 1:

But when you actually imagine the frequency of honesty, truth, truth where it's your, and even if it's just your truth, you know when something falls into your heart and you go, oh, that that is what I think, that is what I believe, that is my truth, and it just settles. It's not brought into you, it's not exposed to you, you don't go kind of wishy-washy on it, it just feels like a fit. Or when you express truth, when you can actually say yes, I saw that the sky is blue, even if everyone around you is telling you it's gray. I saw that the sky is blue, even if everyone around you is telling you it's gray. You could say I saw that the sky is blue and you speak your truth. There's, there's a clarity in it. If you were to strike it like a bell, it would just sing out one clear tone.

Speaker 1:

And to me, I find that such an exciting, refreshing thing in this time, because I don't know about you. I hear things and I talk to people about things and there's all of this traffic out in the world right now and it feels so muddy. It's so many muddy discussions and arguments and it's just you don't? It feels like sand in your between your fingers. It slips away and there's no clear frequency in it. And the only way you can anchor in to a clearer frequency is by being honest with yourself, and that means keeping your word. It means that if you're going to say I am going to do this, it's really important that you do it, because then your whole energy is going to ring out as honest as true.

Speaker 1:

The other element in this that I really wanted to talk about today is the fact that a lot of people are coming to me and be like well, how can we help the world? Also, you know, over in the Energy Reset Circle, my membership program we were talking a little bit about. Well, how do we actually? You know, we don't want to bury our head in the sand. We don't want toxic positivity, we don't want to pretend things aren't happening and at the same time, we don't want toxic positivity. We don't want to pretend things aren't happening and, at the same time, we don't want to get swallowed up into what's happening.

Speaker 1:

How do we find that clear balance? And here's what we have to do. We really need to be looking at ourselves and saying what is it that I need to be doing to be truer to myself? What are those small habits, what are these small moments? What do I need to put in place? And how do I tell myself I am going to put them in place and keep my word to myself, so that the energy of honesty rings out through me. Honesty rings out through me. It's also a question of, if we mess up and we don't, we apologize to ourselves and we acknowledge ourselves that we broke our word and say don't worry, I'm trying to do better, I will try to do better.

Speaker 1:

We have to treat ourselves the way we want others to treat us, and we have to treat ourselves the way we want to treat others treat us, and we have to treat ourselves the way we want to treat others. So in doing that, though, it's almost like creating this loving environment for ourselves where we can do and be the best we can, and in that there's almost like a cocooning or a surrounding. It's like putting ourselves in that magical bubble we often talk about right, where we have boundaries in place, and we acknowledge what's out there. Whenever I talk about boundaries and bubbles in places now, I don't know about you, but I always imagine Glinda in Wicked. You know her and her magical bubble. She has to tap in order to release herself from imagining that.

Speaker 1:

So you have that in place, and then you have to. You can see everything around of what's happening and hold yourself and observe yourself of what you need for balance. When you have grounded yourself, when you're holding yourself, when you have put the steps in place to practice being true to yourself, when everything is in alignment, then you can express light out into the world, and because you are stronger in your own personal frequency, your own energy, that light is rippling out, it is shining out into the world and, rather than the majority of everyone being in this fear state, we can then reside and resonate in an alternate state one of love, one of light, one of well-being, one of anchored groundedness, one of well-being, one of anchored groundedness. But it has to be that order, doesn't it? It has to be the order of taking care of ourselves, acknowledging how we're feeling, putting the steps and habits in place to make sure we're in alignment to who we came to be, and then, once we're grounded and anchored and whole, then we can firmly create light out into the dark. But you can't go out into the dark from a triggered nervous system and from an unsteady space and expect to be able to transmute that into light. It's going to be too much. It literally is like trying to, you know, drive a long distance with no gas in your car. It's like the way when you have an emergency situation and you make sure your car is filled up, because then, in case you have to leave, it's really important to put that self-care piece in place.

Speaker 1:

So I need to ask you again what is holding you back? What are you afraid of? What is the change that feels so uncomfortable? What is the small step that you can add to your life. You know, something magical happens when you just do it. When you just do it, when you actually do the practice that you told yourself you were going to do, when you actually anchor in and say, no, that's it, I'm done, I'm going to actually live the version of myself that I want to. You know, even, hey, when I actually decided to work with a new coach, there was this sense of freedom of going yes, that's it. You know what? I'm not sitting on the fence anymore. I need to step into that up-level version self and actually, yes, I need help in doing that.

Speaker 1:

So if you are finding yourself in a space of saying, I know I need to put something in place, but I don't know what that step is, then take the step to find it out. Take the step and commit to yourself, promise to yourself that you're going to start taking care of yourself, taking care of how you feel, taking care of what you bring in, taking care of what you expose yourself to, taking care of how you express yourself, taking care of your promises to yourself. Take care of you, because it still stands, whether you're doing it in parenting or anything else. We have to put our oxygen masks on first, and then we are able to help others, and that includes helping the world. We're not helping anyone by just getting swallowed up into the deep of the storm, and claiming yourself from that storm starts with anchoring into a small step, a small habit that will help you align to yourself. That has to be the goal for the next three months.

Speaker 1:

Can you imagine also if it was, if you actually did complete this, if you actually chose something and chose yourself every single day for the next few months, your neural pathways would totally transform to that actually being your habitual state and, my goodness, your holiday season was really full. Anyway, I hope this is helpful and I hope you feel encouraged to really commit to your best self. If you do like this topic, then I'd love to hear your comments. Please, like you know, comment in the podcast or in the social media post.

Speaker 1:

Make sure you subscribe to this podcast and if you want to leave a review, I'd really appreciate it. That would be wonderful. And, no matter what, I hope you know that I'm always available to be messaged, or you can come over to the Facebook community over at the Spiritually we're Living community, which is now reopened on Facebook. I always love to hear from people, so feel free to drop me a message at Christina at spirituallywe'relivingcom, and in all of this, I look forward to hearing all about your light, your flow, your habits and how you shine out love throughout your house, yourself and the world. Thank you so much for being here. Love and light.