Say Yes to Your Yes with Jennifer Jane Young

This episode is an interview with Jennifer Jane Young, founder of the School of Intuitive Leadership, finding your flow, podcast and the Amazon bestselling book, Say Yes to Your Yes. How to trust your gut and take the leap in our discussion, Jen describes four problems and their solutions that are often reasons why you are not saying yes. She leads our audience through a three-step activity of getting unstuck in a place where science meets intuition. We're going to learn to trust our gut and take the leap with Jen. So let's get started applying your intuition like a magic wand that Jen describes in “Call IT in With Dar”!

Transcript

Speaker Dar Welcome to the “call it in podcast”. Jen, I'm so happy to have you with me today.

Speaker Jenn Thanks, Darla. I'm really excited to be here and just really honored to have this chat with you today.

Speaker Dar Well, before we dive into “Say Yes to Your Yes”, your new book, tell our audience a little bit about yourself and how you came to writing a book.

Speaker Jenn Yeah, so I am probably one of the least traditional people that you would meet, I came to writing a book through my own personal journey of trying to find my path in life, and from a very young age, I just felt really, really different from everybody else, and I just couldn't fit into the traditional systems that we have to go through as we are becoming an adult, and even as we are an adult later on in life. And so school was extremely challenging for me. You know, having a regular job, being an employee was really challenging for me. And so at a very young age, I embarked on my own path of trying to find freedom, freedom in the way that made sense to me and that felt good to me. And this book started, actually, on a day that I was taking a walk, I still have the clear, crystal, clear vision. I was walking with my dog, Bailey, and it was autumn in Canada. It was beautiful outside. The sun was beaming. The trees were full of colors. And I was walking towards this tree, and I was having one of these, like, aha moments, like, when you just feel so good. And as I got closer to the tree, a little draft of wind came by and essentially sprinkled like a whole bunch of autumn leaves on me. It just felt like it was raining colors on me. And I remember at that moment thinking, Oh, my God, life is so beautiful. It is so full of magic. It is so full of potential. And I literally ran home and opened my laptop, and I was like, I need to write a book. There's something that I can see about life that I need to share with other people. And that's where it started, really like 10 years ago.

Speaker Dar: I love how you mentioned magic in your introduction, because in the book, you talk about how your intuition is like a magic wand. And I would love it if you'd expand on that some. Yeah,

Speaker Jenn: So for me, intuition feels like a magic wand in the sense that I always say, whatever you're yearning for is not random, like any desires you have, any visions you have, anything that you're craving to experience in your life. I believe it's a preview of the potential that's waiting for you in the future that's available for you. So for me, the magic wand is kind of like your intuition, giving you a little sneak peek into your future and what you could access. And I also believe that it allows us to pave a path that is so incredibly beautiful and adventurous, a path that we could have never seen before with, like the limitations of our brain, you know. And so intuition is very much like this portal into possibility, and that's how I see it as a magic wand.

Speaker Dar: Beautiful… in your book, “Say Yes to Your Yes”. I love how at the end of each chapter you have intuitive reflections. That was really special to me. So would you expand on one of your quotes? Trust your gut before you are ready.

Speaker Jenn: Yes, absolutely. So that's one of my favorite quotes from the book, because it is the thing that keeps most people stuck right. So they have this intuitive nudge. They're feeling like they want to do the thing, but they don't want to move forward until they know what to expect in the future, or until they have some sort of guarantee, or until they feel like really ready to embark on this experience or journey or whatever they're going to do. And the truth is we're never ready. We're never ready, because our intuition is always leading us towards growth, towards something that is going to expand us in some sort of way. And oftentimes, most of the time, I would say, always following our intuition is an uncomfortable process. It is all about stepping into the unknown. It is all about, you know, betting on yourself and doing it even though we don't know if this is going to work out. There are no guarantees when we lead our lives intuitively. And it's in those experiences that we experience the most exciting things in our lives, like, if I think about all of the intuitive leaps that I've taken in my life, those are the highlights of my life. Those experiences are the most exciting parts of my life so far. It's not like when you know we need in the book, I talk about the left brain and the right brain, and we need both. We need logic and we need intuition. We need organization and we need creativity. We need imagination, and we need structure. Like all of it, it is necessary to function in this human experience. But we all spend way too much time in the left brain, way too much time in logic and safe and known information. So you know trusting your gut before you are ready is going to help you learn about what you are capable of. So I was talking about this week, and I was sharing that it's only when you stretch yourself out of your comfort zone that you're really going to discover what you're made of. It's in that moment that you're going to discover the strength that you have, the resilience you have, the resourcefulness that you have. And so that's why it is so important to say yes before you feel ready, because you're never going to feel fully ready to do the thing because it is uncomfortable and unknown.

Speaker Dar: I so agree with that the highlights in my life are also when I moved out of my comfort zone and took that big leap of faith,

Speaker Jenn: yes, 100%

Speaker Dar: 100% so what are some of the reasons why people don't say yes?

Speaker Jenn: Oh, well, us human beings, we love comfort, you know. So it can be. Really hard to step out of our comfort zone, sometimes because where we feel comfortable, we feel safe, and where we feel comfortable, we also feel like an expert. So one of my favorite quotes is from one of my favorite books called louder than words by Todd Henry, and he talks about how the only way that we can step into that next level of our success is by temporarily placing ourselves where we're going to feel mediocre for a little while. So when we step out of our comfort zone, we don't feel super confident, we feel awkward, we feel a little scared, we feel unsure, and so we don't like to feel those things as human beings. And so a lot of us stay in our comfort zone in order to avoid feeling that. And the other biggest thing, there's a lot of things that get in the way, but I would say the other biggest thing is people are so scared to make mistakes. And I think once we learn that there literally are no mistakes like this whole human experience is but a journey of learning and growth and evolution. We can then make peace with the fact that something might not work out, or it might not work out how we thought it would, or it might get messy. You know, when we take intuitive leaps, things sometimes temporarily get messy, as life is adapting for that change and transformation that we're experiencing.

Speaker Dar: Thank you. In your book, you talk about some different ways to take the next step, or forgetting unstuck or getting out of that fear of the unknown. Would you share a few of those with us?

Speaker Jenn: Yeah, I think one of the best ways to get unstuck, and it's the thing that people don't want to do, is just to give yourself a moment to feel all that is coming through you as you think about taking that step like the more we avoid our feelings, the more overwhelming they're going to become, and the more they're going to paralyze us. So if we just give ourselves a moment to be like, Okay, I'm thinking of doing this thing. I am terrified. I feel anxiety in my stomach. I feel tightness in my chest, or whatever, whatever's coming at that moment. Just give yourself moments to feel those things, and when we acknowledge them and feel them, then they move through us and out of us, right? So that's my yoga therapy background coming in, coming into my teachings. Because the more we shove down our feelings and emotions, the more our nervous system feels like there is a danger, like it needs to be in survival mode, when really, if we just let ourselves feel the feels, feel the feelings, it'll just move through us and flow through us, and then we will be freed from that, and then clarity will come. The other thing that I tell people all the time is that it is always and only about that one next step. So people get stuck in analysis paralysis because they're looking at the next 300 steps ahead of them to do the thing, or they're starting to envision where they might land and what they'll need to do when they get there, and all of these things. And although planning is helpful, sometimes I try to encourage people to do forecasting instead of rigid planning, because no matter how much our brains want to plan and micromanage the future most of the time it doesn't roll out how we had envisioned in our head. So just focus on the one next step, you know. So I'll give you an example, when I wanted to go to Mexico to live. If I would have thought about every single step that I needed to take in order to get to Mexico, I probably would have never gone. It would have been so overwhelming. And like, our brain has a limited capacity to process stuff, so it can't process all of that information. And so, you know, one of the steps I took was just starting to, you know, Google Online, or like, Okay, where is the first place I could land when I get there, so that I can go explore what it feels like to live in Mexico for a few weeks. That was, like, my that was the only step really, that I could take in that moment, is like, find the place where I want to land. And then the next step after that was to book the flight, right? So it's like that one step is then going to bring you into a new reality, and then from that reality you're going to take one more step, and then one more step, and that's all you can ever do. So thinking about all of the things that might happen in the future is such a waste of time and energy. Yeah, so just one step at a time. It sounds so simple, but if we just did that, we would move forward and progress towards what we want, so much more than how many of us just stay in analysis paralysis,

Speaker Dar:         I agree with that. When you talk about saying yes to your yes, say yes to that very first step and try, you know, try not to get way ahead of yourself. That's wonderful advice, and it's something I have tried to do like you said. It sounds simple, but it's not, I mean, I really need to force myself that if it doesn't fit on a post it notes, not to do it. I love it. I love it. That's such a good thing we do sit down to post a note or don't do it. So, yeah, I kind of joke with myself about that. I love it, especially with my education background, it was a really big difference to go into energy healing and to reduce things down to a single step. We have something really exciting coming up here. Jen is going to lead us all through an activity, so I'm just turn it over to you

Speaker Jenn: All right? So this is one of my favorite things to do with people, because it helps us honor all parts of ourselves that are always part of our human experience, right? We can't. We all have a brain. It's going to work whether we like it or not. We all have an ego. It's going to work whether we like it or not. We all have intuition. Surprisingly, if you think you're not intuitive, you are. Everybody is intuitive. It's just that we all get born with that superpower. So when you're thinking about taking an intuitive leap, I encourage you to journal on this. So let's say you want to start a business. I'm just going to give a concrete example so that people can have something to work with. So write it down on the piece of paper. The thing that your intuition is telling you to do, okay, then I want you to write out what does my head have to say about this? So your head is your left brain and your ego. Okay, so the left brain, like I said, is logic, analysis, you know, anything that's around the traditional thinking, data, safety, structure, all of that stuff. So what does your head, left brain and ego have to say about this? And the ego is the one who's like, trying to keep us safe, right? So he's the one that might be like, You're crazy. What are you thinking about this is you're going to fail. Blah, blah, blah, blah, all of that wonderful chat that happens. So you make a list, what does my head have to say about this? And just dump it all out like every single thought and worry and concern that you're having, drop it on the paper. Then once that's done, I want you to write out what your heart has to say about this. So when you're thinking about your heart, I want you to think about what you are feeling. Okay, so what I'll give in another concrete example, when I decided to go back to Mexico, to move back to Mexico, my heart was in so much grief, because I knew I had to leave my family again. So I was sad. I felt guilty. I was in pain. I was concerned, I was scared, like all of these feelings were coming out. And so I sit down and just drop all of the things that your heart has to say about this. And some of those things might be like my heart is saying, like this feels so good, like I feel so excited about this, like it doesn't it's not always a negative thing. And then you're going to make another list of what my gut has to say about this. So your inner wisdom, that most potent truth inside of you, what does it have to say about this? So, for example, with the Mexico thing, my gut was telling me you were not complete with your Mexico experience. You have some cycles to complete there, and you have some things to tie up. And it is really important for your healing journey that you go back to complete a chapter and complete a cycle peacefully. So whatever your gut your intuition is telling you about this intuitive leap that you want to do, map it out. Then after that, what you can do is go back to the head list. What does your head have to say about it? And be really honest with yourself, and cross out anything that is not relevant or valid or true, right? So, for example, if my E was telling me you're completely insane, you're gonna you're gonna. Your whole life is going to fall apart. I know that that's not true. I know that that's just my ego trying to keep me safe. I'm going to cross that out, and so what you're going to have left is some logical things that are or could be true, that you might just need to pay attention to along this journey, and that you're going to bring with you along the journey. Okay? So, for example, the Mexico trip, if I come back to it, my logic was telling me, like, this is, this might be an expensive trip, so you really need to plan this out to make sure that you have enough revenue put aside before you hit the road. Right? That was a valid thought, and my logic was actually being helpful, so that I wanted to bring along with me on the journey. And then for the emotional side of things, I would say, just allow yourself to be present with everything that you're feeling. If you need a journal about the feelings, let it flow through you like I said, Don't shove it down. The more you try to ignore it, the more intense it's going to feel in your body. And then the gut list. You don't have to worry about the gut list. Your gut is the truth all the time. So that is going to lead the way forward, right? Your gut is going to lead the way forward. Your head is going to be the copilot along the way, and you're just going to allow yourself to process all of the emotions and feelings that come along the journey with you, and that is going to help you acknowledge everything that is feels like a big chaotic mess inside of you, separate things and know what to bring along with you on the journey and what needs to just be blessed and released before you embark.

Speaker Dar: Thank you, Jen, that is a terrific three step exercise that we can all take away with us from this podcast. Thank you so much. Welcome as we wrap up, I want to mention to the audience that I simply loved the intuitive reflections after every chapter, and I like your ability for storytelling. And there's a section on the doshas where she compares it to the TV program Friends and all the friends' characters. And I just want to encourage everyone to pick up her book “ Say Yes to Yes”, and we'll be posting that in the show notes, along with other contact information. But is there anything else that you are feeling that you want to share with the audience as we wrap up?

Speaker Jenn: Yeah, I think I always love to share my signature quote that has been with me for the last 15 years. It came through. I channeled this quote when I was a yoga teacher, and it's a quote that really I that people really connect with, and it's the actions you're not willing to take or the decisions you're not willing to make are the ones that will change your life. So I think it's really important to remember that the things that we are resisting to do are usually the things that we most need to do. So I would leave with that, and the other thing I would say is, for me, one of the really important parts of this process still today is to be surrounded with other people who are living a similar lifestyle to you. So find other people who you know value listening to their intuition and doing taking those leaps, because it's not the majority of human beings that are doing this, and if we don't connect with other people who are attempting to live in this way, we're constantly going to feel broken in a society that lives in a very, very traditional left brain way, even with our family and friends like the majority of people who embark on this path is smaller than the majority of people who don't. So find your community of people, whether that's with me at the School of intuitive leadership, or anywhere else, it's going to be really helpful and motivating and inspiring to keep taking your next steps forward.

Speaker Dar: Thank you so much, and great words of wisdom. And I thoroughly believe in community. And with the name of the business,” Dar’s Divine Connections”. I believe in connections for sure. So thank you big Virtual hugs going out to you for being with us today. Jen,

Speaker Jenn: thank you so much, Darla, for having me. It was such a pleasure being here.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai