The Courage to tell Your Story with Michele Richman

Have you ever felt a nudge to share your story... but then that little voice inside whispered, "What if people judge me?"  The truth is, every one of us has a story worth telling. But finding the courage to tell it—that's where so many of us get stuck.  

Today's guest knows that journey well.  Joining me is Michele Richman, a former prosecutor, attorney, leadership coach, and Chief People Officer who has spent years helping others grow both personally and professionally. Yet one of her greatest transformations didn't happen in a courtroom or a boardroom—it happened when she found the courage to embrace her own voice and share the stories that shaped her life.  

In this conversation, Michele shares how discovering her core value of courage changed everything. We talk about overcoming fear, embracing authenticity, and why our most meaningful stories—whether they're about joy, grief, parenting, or stepping outside our comfort zone—often become the bridge that connects us to others. 

If you've ever wondered whether your story matters... or if you've been waiting for permission to share it... this episode may be exactly the encouragement you've been looking for.  Let's call it in, “Call IT in With Dar!” 

Transcript

Have you ever felt a nudge to share your story... but then that little voice inside whispered, "What if people judge me?"  The truth is, every one of us has a story worth telling. But finding the courage to tell it—that's where so many of us get stuck.  Today's guest knows that journey well.  Joining me is Michele Richman, a former prosecutor, attorney, leadership coach, and Chief People Officer who has spent years helping others grow both personally and professionally. Yet one of her greatest transformations didn't happen in a courtroom or a boardroom—it happened when she found the courage to embrace her own voice and share the stories that shaped her life.  In today's conversation, Michele shares how discovering her core value of courage changed everything. We talk about overcoming fear, embracing authenticity, and why our most meaningful stories—whether they're about joy, grief, parenting, or stepping outside our comfort zone—often become the bridge that connects us to others. If you've ever wondered whether your story matters... or if you've been waiting for permission to share it... this episode may be exactly the encouragement you've been looking for.  Let's call it in, “Call IT in With Dar!” 

Speaker Dar 

Welcome in, Michele. I'm so excited to have you with me today, and we're going to talk about finding the courage to tell your story. And I'm holding your book, your story, right here. So let's get started by you telling our audience a little bit about yourself and how you got to this point. 

Speaker Michele 

Hi, Darla. Thank you for having me here. I'm really excited to talk to you about the stories we almost don't tell. And mine is an unconventional story of how I became a writer and how I got to my point. I started practicing as a government prosecutor and a lawyer, and I was working in Washington D.C. and I became pregnant with my first child, and I was shocked. This was 21 years ago or 22 years ago. There was no maternity leave policy at the government, and that was really took me back. I always thought that working in the government would be protective, and at the same time, I was in a litigation department and was really told that you know it's very hard for working mothers. I was discouraged at that time, something that I think wouldn't happen these days, at least not overtly. So I ended up moving to New York and joining a family personal injury law firm practice, and I was practicing through two different maternity leaves. And then when that practice closed down or stopped working, I had an opportunity to join my brother in an online education company, and it was just me and him, a couple of interns, and essentially we we got together, and he wanted me to run operations. So I transferred from like advocating and law, and became running HR and operations. And I fell in love with coaching, and I fell in love with working with people and mentoring, and that was how I started becoming more reflective as a coach, but it took me about 16 years until I actually started working in a journal-based coaching program to start writing. I don't know if you want to keep going, or do you want to jump in, or keep going with the story?  

Speaker Dar 

Do keep going. 

Speaker Michele  

Okay, fantastic. So, journal-based coaching was a game changer for me. Essentially, my coach would give me prompts. It would be, "What's your mood today? What are your goals? Tell me about your relationships. What are your beliefs? And I like to think of it as like when I started the prompt, it was the key for me, but it was really the key that opened the door because once I started writing and reflecting, it was a torrent of like opening up myself and sharing my stories, and I realized how much I had to say. And from there, I also realized my coach read all my journals that how important it was for me to know that somebody was reading my writing, and that really was different for me because knowing that I had an audience made me tell my stories in a different way, so that I felt like I was giving value to the person, and somebody could possibly relate to what I went through. And I did that for 18 months before I realized there's a story I'm ready to tell publicly, and that was a story that happened during the pandemic when we ended up having you know finding a bat like sleeping on my my middle school son at the time, and being told by animal control that because of a New Jersey law that protected bats, we had to live with the bats for an entire season until the the they moved out for the spring, and this was when I knew I had to say I finally understood the term like batshit crazy, and I did a whole article about living with bats and living with metaphorical bats, and I got such an amazing response to it. It was the beginning of me saying I'm going to start writing and sharing, and it opened me up and made me more so much more courageous. And from there on, I wrote every month for four or five years till I had 50 articles that led to me putting it together in the anthology for my book. 

Speaker Dar  

What a great story! So I especially like how you said the importance of all of a sudden you discovered the importance of having someone read what you wrote, and that you're giving the audience something. And after having read your book, yes, you have a lot that you're giving the audience. I would love it if you just dive a little bit into finding the courage to tell your story. 

Speaker Michele 

Yeah. So for me, when I started coaching. There was an exercise we did, a personal values exercise, and you're given all these different values that you can identify with. And the first thing I did was saying, "Well, I've been a leader for years, and I love leading, as I told you. So leadership is my value. And then the question was like, "What are my goals? So when I worked at my goals, my goals were to be, you know, a published writer, a speaker, to rise in my career. And I realized I wasn't. It wasn't doing anything for me because I was already leading. Like when you have a value that's not making you change, you're just like living in your current existence. So the second I changed my value to courage. Every decision I made was: Is this scaring me and moving me towards my goals? And then I knew the answer was yes. So there is nothing that feels more vulnerable and terrifying than writing a personal anecdote from someone you know about your fears, about your anxiety, about vulnerable moments from your life, and then sharing it publicly and waiting for the feedback. I've been doing this for five to six years. I'm so nervous every time I put it out, but the courage it takes to do so makes me feel immediately unburdened. It's like I've taken the power back from my fear and my anxiety once I've shared my story, and it no longer seems so scary. And then right away, people reach out to me and say, "Thank you for sharing that. Wow. Also, I went through the same thing, and now I no longer feel alone. So making somebody feel connected to you and building a relationship and not alone is just-it's a beautiful thing. 

Speaker Dar  

Yes, and I also read that you, even though you have been in these professional fields, you still get nervous about you. Still were getting nervous about speaking in front of others. So, would you talk a little bit about that transformation? 

Speaker Michele  

Yeah. So, I always felt it a little. One, there's the imposter syndrome. Like, who wants to hear from me? Who's not in somebody who I ever already know from? But I felt like I didn't like my voice. I felt like I didn't like how I looked. I didn't have the right clothes, and I was so fixated on that that I said no to so many opportunities. And I actually like reflected back when I finally started doing it, and I was like, I remember this time in seventh grade when I was told to give up on my creative drama career because I had the wrong voice and I overspoke and wasn't clear and that kind of like shut me down, which I can't believe for 40 years. And when I finally decided to give my story, it was because I wanted to join this event called "Listen to Your Mother" in my New Jersey area, where you share stories about being a mother, and I really wanted to share a story about my son's first day in middle school and our journey. My journey as a special needs parent, and all of the things that I could help others with. The first time I performed, it was like a 

light bulb in me. I was terrified, but I was able to. Like I was on stage, I was looking at it, 350 people. I was connecting, and the energy in the room that I knew that like I was hooked, and I've spoken at probably since then for three years, four to five conferences, and each time the the moment where you feel yourself connecting to the audience, it's such an incredibly powerful thing and exhilarating that it it doesn't. Darla, I'm still scared. None of my fears have ever gone away. But what I've realized is being courageous is saying my fear is here, and I'm still going to do the things that are important to me to give an impact. And that was really the turning point for me in becoming a speaker. 

Speaker Dar 

I love that, and I really resonate with my fear here, but I'm doing it anyway. I'm sure some of our audience, like both of us, feel that imposter syndrome. I know I was never happy with my voice, and certainly the clothes have something to do with it as well. Because when we look around, it seems like everyone else is so much more pulled together than we are. So, when we talk about values, when you change your value to courage, I I love that you said you still have the value of leadership, but that was you know more at home for you, I guess. And then when you changed to courage, that. Just reminds me that sometimes we are what we speak. 

Speaker Michele  

It's so true. And one thing that's really important for me when I'm coaching others and when I'm speaking, people raise their hand and say to me, "Oh, do you want my personal value for when I'm like at home with my family, or my personal value when I'm at work, and what do you think I say to them, Darla? 

Speaker Dar 

I think it's the same, but what do you say to them? 

Speaker Michele 

Yes, 100% You're the same person. You have the same value. How you show up for your family, how you show up for your friends, how you show up for your community is how you're going to show up for your employees, and when we try to pretend that we're two different people, it's when we start losing ourselves and not being like our full authentic person. So, like acknowledging that what's important to us in one area is going to be important to another is really freeing, and that I think that's how you help connect with what your priorities are and how to meet your own goals. 

Speaker Dar  

That's so interesting. And when you first were talking about value, I wrote mine down, and you just used the word authentic, and mine is authenticity. And I hope in every area of my life. 

Speaker Michele 

Yeah, no, I think it's like that's what that's where stories set us free. Because what you're gonna do now is that you're thinking about where I am authentic. You start stories as examples, and you start realizing like I can look at my stories to see am I living my value, or where didn't I live my value? And it's just as important where you feel like you're not being authentic, because that's where you learn from it and grow, and can act differently the next time that something happens like this. 

Speaker Dar 

Yes, for sure. I would love to just switch gears a little bit and have you share with our audience one of my big aha moments in your book? And I know it was an aha moment for you when you compared pregnancy with grief. Would you share that with everybody? 

Speaker Michele  

Yeah, pregnancy and being a new parent, and when you lost someone like I lost my mom, who was one of the my closest person to me, there's so many things in common that until you're well, first of all, until you are pregnant or have lost someone who's so important to you, you'll never know what it really feels like. You can see it and you can imagine it, but you only know once you've experienced it, and it connects you to others in such a strong way. It changes who you are. It's really like when you think of before and after, before you've been pregnant, before you've gone through grief. Your whole life is like the before and after of both of them, but there's also like the moments where when you're struggling as a whether it's in pregnancy or as a new parent, and people are just giving you platitudes and they're saying sleep when the baby sleeps or you know it'll get better soon and you just feel so distraught with all the challenges. It was the same thing for me when people would say in brief, like she's in a better place, or God doesn't give us what we can't handle. And what I really wanted to hear is like, God, this is really hard, and I've been through this too. And do you want to just sit and tell me a story about your mom? And that was always so powerful for me. And I think the same thing when I would struggle being a new parent, especially at the time I struggled with breastfeeding. If someone would just say to me, like, you know, tell me what's what, what, why has this been so hard for you? And oh, guess what? It's hard for me too. And hearing about other people's stories instead of just hearing platitudes. So then the final thing was exhaustion. When I was pregnant and when I first had my kids, I was so tired. And when I first experienced grief, I was at a level like I just had a level of tiredness that I've never had in my life. And the same thing of not being able to find words and communicate. It's just such a life changing thing in each of them that it was actually helpful for me when I was going through grief to remember. God, I went through all of this in pregnancy, and when I was struggling with new infants, and I got through it. So I know that even though it's hard to see this on the other side of the grief, I know I'll get through this too. 

Speaker Dar 

Yes, and I love how you spelled out the parallels, like with headings like exhaustion, brain fog, a new reality, feeling misunderstood, and then the unsolicited. Advice and platitudes, such a jam, such a nugget of gold there in the middle. That's almost in the middle of the book. Thank you. How about telling this snorkeling story from the book? 

Speaker Michele 

Yeah. Thank you. I love that story, and I loved thinking about it. The title of the story is "Into In the Dark Pacific: Finding Wonder and Courage, and it happened when we were on a family trip to Hawaii, and it was a really meaningful trip because my mom had recently passed away, and we went away with my dad and my brother and his family, and we were actually at the time we were in Hawaii. We were supposed to be in Alaska celebrating my parents' 50th anniversary, so we really felt my mom's absence, but also her presence. And so I talk about this moment where we are going to go snorkeling and go into the deep sea and see these enormous manta rays, and my son, who I mentioned before, my older son, who's autistic, he has like a a lot of anxiety and fears, and he could for him just the thought he had tried to put a snorkel in his mouth, and he was like, I can't do it. And we had tried all day before we went on the boat, and each time he would choke, and he was feeling so dejected, like I'm gonna miss this amazing experience. And there was like an aha moment where I was just like looking at him, and I was actually having my own fears. It was pitch black outside, Darla, when they were like throwing us out into the ocean, and I already have kind of a fear of like open water, and I looked at Max and I knew he wanted to do it. And they explained that we would be holding on to like a pole. So I went up to the person. I said, "My son is having a lot of anxiety. Is there a way that he can do this without a snorkel? And the guy was like, "Huh. Well, I don't really recommend it. But if he really had to, he can just keep putting his head in and out of the water. And I and Max said, "I'll do it. And like I was just like, and then I looked at my dad, who at the time was 80 years old, and he, you know, he had had such a tough year with like losing my mom, and he was like really struggling with jet lag, and he was just like, you know, when you can just like see somebody is just exhausted, and my dad was like, and it was freezing. It was nighttime in the ocean, and he was just like, like I'm, I'm gonna do this. Like, I need to experience this. And I, so I looked at both of them, and then I was like, you know, I'm, I don't care what shaking is inside my body. I'm going in the water with them, and like literally, it was the most incredible experience of my entire life. These creatures are like I would say almost human size, and they come up. You're like facing down the ocean, and they come up all the way where you're. At times you can touch them, and then they do tricks around you, and it's like this extremely powerful feeling. And at every moment, I would pick up my head, and I would see Max getting up his head to breathe, and I would look at my dad who was freezing and shivering, and I was like, "We're doing this together. And we get back on the boat, and my dad like there's a moment where he almost slips down the stairs, he catches himself, and then someone hands him a hot chocolate, and like I've never seen such a transformation. He drank it, and he was like, "This is the best hot chocolate I've ever had in my life. And Max looked at me and was like, "I am so proud that I did this experience, and having done this together, and the challenge and the courage. Like I felt my mom there. I felt as a family, like we had gone through something, and it was almost like you know, I would say like a 

majestic and out otherworldly like we were like in another it it the feeling of like being outside of ourselves so I was so it it was really transformative for me thank you for asking about it. 

Speaker Dar  

Well, thank you for sharing that it's such a moving story and then to hear you tell it, it's even more impactful-at least for me. So let's tell the audience about a gift that you have for them. I'm really excited about that. 

Speaker Michele   

Yeah, so I'm really excited to share an entire part that has multiple chapters from my book called "Facing My Fears and Anxiety, and like I said before, we all have our fears, and we're not trying to get rid of them. But I tell very specific stories of fears that I've had, and whether it was being bullied in camp and how I overcame it, whether it was the fact that my parents gave me juice every night as a baby, and all of my teeth were rotten, and I had to, from five age five to 10, had my mouth covered with silver teeth, or being mugged, or all of these things that happened to me, and how you know I practice avoidance, how my anxiety took over, and then. The ways that I coped, or how it made me who I am today. So I'm really excited to share the stories with you all, and I and I think everyone will find a little nugget in it they can connect to. 

Speaker Dar   

Yes, and the transformation. I just want to set that stage. It's just a beautiful transformation that we can all learn from. Before we wrap up today, is there anything else that you would like to share with our audience before we go? 

Speaker Michele  

I challenge everybody to think about what their personal value is, and then think about: Is this value pushing me in the right direction? Is this the one that's making the change that I know I need to do, or is this what's keeping me where I currently am? And if he feels like it's something that's just giving you the same comfort, but you're not making the changes you want, I challenge you to reflect again, change, pick a value that is going to change you to like get to the goals and the and the beliefs that you want, and then really think about one story where you know that you lived your value, and one story where you didn't live your value, and reflect on why, and then it'll help you think going forward how to better live your value in the decisions you're making. 

Speaker Dar  

Yes, that's beautiful, and you showed us an example of that when you changed from leadership as being the primary value to courage because courage was the one that made you grow. So what an inspiration you've been, Michelle. We've just really enjoyed our time together, and I know that the listeners will too. 

Transcribed byhttps://otter.ai