213 \\ 3 Things You Need For Sound Financial Management in Your Stepfamily | Featuring Terry Peña, Financial Expert [Part 2 of 2]
Jen Rogers: 0:00
What one thing may be more complex than managing all those emotions roaring through your household, in your blended family home?
Today's guest will not only give us the answer to that question. She's ready to share easy to implement solutions that work. Just like every change you commit to when you choose to up level your life, it all starts with one decision. I have a few riddles for you.
Are you ready? One my rings are not worth money, but they tell my age. Do you know? The answer it's a tree. Two I can be found on a busy street and if you don't pay rent, I'll tell on you. What's the answer A parking meter. Ready for the next one? What's the easiest way to double your money? Answer use a mirror.
Okay, I've got one more. Would you have more money if you had a million dollars today or a penny today that doubled in value every day for 30 days? The answer A penny. After 30 days it would be worth over $5,368,000.
A money it can bring up a lot of different emotions, no matter what family you're in. We know money is important because there are over 3000 verses in scripture on money and we all know that one that the love, the covetousness of money is the root fall evil. Money on its own is not evil. The thing is, is that we haven't necessarily been taught very well how to manage our money, so when we bring these ideas and experiences into our new blended relationship, it can create some challenging conversations.
Hey, there I am, Jen Rogers, your hostess with the mostest, and this is episode number 213, part two of the Empowered Stepmom Podcast. I am joined on the show today with the same guests that I had yesterday my hunka-hunka Bill and our financial expert, Terry Peña.
If you are catching this episode before 5.49 pm Central Time on February 15th, you have just enough time to register for our VIP Academy Guest Night inside of the Empowered Stepmom Academy. This is the second time we are opening up the Academy to guests. Now there is a small investment for you to save your seat, because it's important that you practice investing in you, and it's worth every single penny. It's really not that many pennies $17 worth of pennies. Join us inside the VIP Academy.
If you are listening to this on February 15th, before 5.49 pm Central, all right. In part one, I shared how you feel about something is temporary. What you're willing to do about it, that something Well, that sweet friend is how you create habit loops that work for you. In this two-part series, you'll meet Terry Peña.
Terry is the owner of One-Tenth Consulting, treasurer of the Latina Business Network and financial wellness coach with Operation Hope. She's passionate about finances with a biblical approach. She's a wife, a mom and an entrepreneur who loves working with Christian families.
In part two, Terry continues to outline the three simple steps the healing, the communication and the planning essential for sound financial management. Let's pick it up where we left off from part one.
P.S. A Special Thanks to kidadl.com K I D A D L dot com, for the riddles.
Bill Rogers: 4:04
Terry, we started talking about healing and how we get into difficulties financially, bringing different perspectives, and you also mentioned to us the importance, then, of bringing God into the process of your financial planning.
Terry Peña: 4:21
So bringing God in the process of our financial planning can be done in many ways. One, just when you sit down right before your plan and invite God in, invite the Holy Spirit into the planning. So just sit down and pray, make that space where you're both relaxed and you're not having a ton of distractions, and just say, lord, we need your wisdom and we need your guidance within this.
The other way that we honor God within our financial planning is just remembering that he wants us to be good stewards of our money, that God cares about that. So the Bible tells us God is owner. God is owner of everything.
There's countless verses that tell us that he owns the land, the animals, the gold, the silver. He owns everything. So he owns everything and we honor him by giving him the position of owner. The Bible also tells us that we are meant to be administrators, stewards, that we are meant to have dominion. When we have that mindset shift where we become the managers of everything that's coming into our hands and he is the owner and we honor him through our stewardship, through our tides, through our offerings, then that allows us to make the space that he wants and that he needs within our finances.
Those are some ways that we can really include God in the process, and understanding that the Bible literally has over 3,000 verses that deal with finances, with money, with debt, with savings, with all these things. So just really making sure that when we're making a financial decision, it's in line with the Word of God and it's in line with what he would like us to do, that's going to make a huge difference in whether or not we truly are managing our finances with the Lord in mind.
Bill Rogers: 6:15
As a steward, our finances are just one piece and, as we've said, the way you treat your finances are going to be the way you treat the Lord in all areas of your marriage, because you are a steward and Jesus had some things to say about the unfaithful steward as well. We've mentioned a couple of times the issue of retirement. Now, what is our ultimate goal If we're going to retire, for example? What are we retiring towards?
Terry Peña: 6:43
I think that's very different for every single person. Everybody retires in a different way. Everybody has a different retirement strategy. Everybody sees it differently. For example, if there has been a pastor who has been a pastor for 30, 40 years, living out his calling and his purpose, and he chooses to retire, it might be for rest.
At that point he could be in his 70s, 80s and he's deciding to retire for rest. On the other hand, maybe somebody was working, they were financially well and they were able to make a good amount of money for retirement in their 60s and they always felt like this pushed and tugged in their spirit to really serve the kingdom and really serve the community.
So they retire and that money that comes in now allows them to really just spend the rest of the years that they have, living in purpose and getting back to the community and to the church and to all that. So retirement can be something different in so many levels for so many different people. So it's really just coming into agreement with your spouse on what retirement looks like for the both of you.
Is retirement for the purpose of just being able to save that money and not have to worry about anything financially in the future. Is it ministry-based? Is it purpose-based? What is the goal of your retirement?
But also taking into consideration right that if we don't save that money, where is it going to come from? I think that's, at the end of the day. That's the point. It's not necessarily just about. It's not about how much or how little or what's going to happen once I retire. It's being sure that together you're in agreement on what the plan is and what God is calling you to do within your specific financial plan.
Bill Rogers: 8:39
God says seek first his kingdom and he'll add these other things. I often put it this way you worry about God's stuff, he worries about yours, and I think that's part of being a steward.
Terry Peña: 8:51
Absolutely. It's making that space. It's just really stopping, pausing and staying to ourselves. Are we honoring God? Am I honoring God in my finances? Am I honoring God in how I'm treating my wife? Am I honoring God in how I'm treating my husband? Am I honoring God with my children? It really is all that.
And if we're good at doing that in one specific area of our lives and we should be able to carry that through continuously to all other areas, because it's a heart condition, at the end of the day it's a heart condition. So if our hearts are aligned and we're constantly resubmitting our heart, our desires, our wants, our needs, our circumstances, our situations, if we continue to bring those to the Lord, then we'll be walking in that purpose For the benefit of everyone, really for the benefit of first honoring God because he's our Lord, he's our God, but then also to be able to be who our spouse needs us to be, in the sense of what God wants us to be for that person, to lift that person up, to be there for them, to be of love, of light, to not be a stumbling block but to be of joy. So it's important to really honor God in all those ways.
Jen Rogers: 10:15
I'm thinking about the imprinting and how we often have these messages that play over and over in our mind oh, it's never going to get better, or it's too hard, we're too far in debt, we don't communicate well, all of those things. And yet what I hear you saying is that, before you even pull out the pencil and paper, so to speak, that you put your hearts out there on the table and you invite God in to give you direction, and that speaks to the importance of a vision.
When you say what do you want to do? What does retirement look like for you? If you don't give yourself the time which is the most valuable currency, by the way, time, not the dollar bill if you don't invest the time with the Lord in seeking Him and asking Him to reveal to you what the desires of your hearts really are, it's really going to be difficult to make progress.
Today we've talked about the importance of starting at the very beginning, that, hey, if there's some hurts and some wounds and some unforgiveness, that's where we need to start. We need to start with healing and then we can begin to talk pretty good together. It's a pretty good conversation.
So the next step is really good communication. And this is where we encourage that, when you need some outside help, that you seek outside help as well for people who can give you information so you can make better decisions as you're having that effective communication. And then, although we haven't labeled it, we've been dancing all around at this planning. That planning is so important to bring the two of you on the same sheet of music. So I'm curious what is it about your kiddos that makes you crazy with how they manage money?
Terry Peña: 12:02
Oh boy, you had to take it there. Huh, yeah, this is a... I love this topic because I think it's just so important.
I have noticed my children's predispositions in terms of being a spender and being a saver since they were so little. What we used to always do is I would give the kids $5 each and I because we want to train them right to make decisions themselves with finances, with money. So I would give them five bucks each.
Let them walk into 7-eleven and see what they do. So my daughter would take the money. She would be holding those $5, walking around from aisle to aisle, like taking it slow, and then she would buy one or two things, show up to the cash register and it was like $2. And she would have those $3 extra saved up.
My son would blaze through the aisles, he would stack the chips and the drinks and the candy and show up to the register with this whole pack of stuff and then the register would ring. It would be like $7.50.
Nope, sorry, child, you have $5. Therefore, you need to take something back and we need to organize and fix this whole thing. That one example is truly an example of how they see you and want to handle money even now, like five, six years later.
So definitely to me, that just feeds in me the reminder that we definitely are just born with specific traits on how we see and view and want to handle money. So it's definitely a very interesting topic and I always try to work on her weaknesses, like on the areas where she may need a little bit of strengthening when it comes to her mindset and how she sees money, and then I do the same thing for him. We've literally had to implement different plans and strategies individually for each of them to succeed.
That idea of giving to the Lord and of including him and everything One of the things that I love, which I think is key. I recommend this for everyone. We've been doing it since they were little. They still have the boxes, even though we're starting to get out of it because they're getting a little older. I have a 12-year-old and I have a 14-year-old. So when our children were about five, six years old, we made boxes for them and we gave them three envelopes. We gave them a savings envelope, a giving envelope and a spending envelope and we would give them like what you would call an allowance. Now, the allowance was not money that they just got for no reason. It was partially money that they did get because we just chose to give them an allowance, but the other part was kind of helping out around the house and making sure they fulfilled their house obligations. So we weren't paying them to do the house things, but we were doing it like in that mixed idea, because I know some people feel very particular about paying their kids to do chores. But nonetheless, that's how we ran it and every time they got the money we got them used to taking each dollar and putting it in its separate place. Each dollar putting it in its separate place.
When we would go to church on Sunday, they would take their money that was in the giving envelope and they would give it to the church, or we would also allow them to make a choice. If there was a missionary coming in or there was a big thing going on within the kids program, then we said would you like to give this money to the church or would you like to seed it into the missionary fund or into the kids fund? We gave them autonomy over their own money, but they knew that that money was specifically labeled for that.
So that's something that I think is super helpful and super important because it ingrains in them. Since they're very little, we give to God. First we save and then we spend.
Jen Rogers: 16:03
That's really good. Families may be struggling with what they feel like is out of their control, so there are a lot of things that are out of your control. When the kids are not with you, that when they're at their other parent's house, then they're going to be subjected to different ideas, particularly about money, but about many things.
I want to encourage our parents out there right now that it's okay, God knows that they're at the other household for the time that they're there and there's really little control (and influence is dramatically limited) that you can have on that household in that home.
Instead, focus on the influence that you do have in your own home and you can set this up. In fact, we did it with the boys as a matter of fact, the envelopes we had a couple more envelopes. We actually made them. Let's say, we gave allocations, like 1% was for taxes, because you know the government the tyrannical government takes their money, and rent and groceries and so we allocated percentages and then what they could do with the rest of it. And we do have one spender and we do have one saver.
It's been interesting to see that play out as well and they're going to carry that all along the way. And, as you said, I like what you said about Teaching them how to strengthen those areas where they need strengthening in their money mindset.
This is all about acquiring new information or evaluating information that you've heard countless times before and deciding that today is the day that we are going to have a financial plan with the Lord. Today is the day that we are going to embrace that we are not where we want to be. We don't exactly know how we're going to get where we want to go. We may not actually even know where we want to go. We have ideas, but we haven't taken the time to talk about those and plan for those. In church, bill will often say today can be your spiritual birthday when you accept the Lord. This can be your financial Birthday, where you decide that you will manage your finance as well as a couple and as a family.
Terry Peña: 18:03
I've seen the times where I've wavered, where I've doubted, where I couldn't see it in my natural eyes how God Was going to get me out of the hole or out of the mess, or out of the Situation with my husband, with a situation with my child, and I've seen myself stay stuck in that. But then I've also seen when I finally let go and submitted and released and Said you know what, Lord, I Can't see it, I have no idea how we are going to get out of this and I have no idea how this problem is going to be solved. But I give it to you, I believe you and I have faith in how much you love me and what you're going to do. And the minute that I've done that, the minute that I've relinquished, that I've released,
that's when I've seen God's glory and that's when I've seen the Holy Spirit move in my Finances, in my marriage, within my children, because I was no longer Holding it with my own strength and with my own might, but I gave it on to the Lord.
So if we can stop and Let go of it and give it to God, if it's a spiritual act, it's something that that is just. It has no words. You just do it, you release, you give and he does, and it can be literally minutes later.
All of a sudden, something happens. It could be days, it could be weeks, it could even be, sometimes in a completely different area of your life that you didn't even realize. That's actually the area that needed the healing. That's actually the area that God needed to work in order for you to get your prayer. Yes, absolutely.
Don't stay stuck in your own mind, in your own ideas, in your capacity, of what you think is going to happen or not happen. Just close your eyes, let it go, release it into his hands, and you are going to see just how powerfully God and the Holy Spirit can move in your life to bring you to where you need to be, terry.
Jen Rogers: 20:21
You've been so inspirational in the conversation today, outlining three simple points the healing, the communication and the planning for sound financial management. That glorifies God, and God is so good to build into our marriages, then, and to bring us joy and reward us. I don't know how many verses there are in Scripture, like you could quote the money verses. I don't know how many there are for rewards, but I know that rewards are prevalent, and God encourages us, as my husband says, to choose door number one blessings, not door number two curses. So you are door number one. Where can people find you?
Terry Peña: 21:00
Thank you so much. I appreciate that I'm under. IAMTERRYPENA and those are my handles for Facebook and Instagram. I just love working with families. I love working with Christian families and doing the comprehensive financial planning. That's what I am passionate about.
I love integrating God and making sure that he is at the core, at the center of everything that we do, and also about following the practical steps right, because faith without work is dead.
So we believe God, we know God, we know that he's able, but then there's a part that we have to put into action, the part that we're called to do, which is the stewardship and the planning and the communication and getting together. So that's what I do. I sit down with families, with couples and individuals as well, and we take about 45 minutes to an hour. We go over what the goals are, what the dreams are, what are the areas that they really need help in, whether maybe there's some debt or maybe there's some investments or anything that they need to work on and grow and create a plan for. We sit down, we look at those different things in all those areas, make sure we have a comprehensive approach and then we create strategies that are going to help that family get to where they need to go.
Jen Rogers: 22:19
That's great, and they can find you and just click to schedule this free consultation.
Terry Peña: 22:25
Yeah, I am very active on LinkedIn and on Instagram. I'm under. I am Terry Pena and those are my handles for Facebook and Instagram. There'll be a link where they can just book a consultation. They could just also send me a message and say hey, terry, this is what we have going on and I will definitely reach back to them.
Jen Rogers: 22:44
We will be sure to put those in the show notes. So if people are unable to click on your lovely Instagram account which, by the way, it looks like you had some fun rock climbing not too long ago. So how did that go? Somebody asked you if you got to the top. Did you get to the top?
Terry Peña: 23:00
I did not but let me tell you that it was a miracle that I even got on, because I literally stayed on the bottom for a good half an hour and I was like I'm not going up there. I'm not going up there and I just said to myself I refuse to live in fear and I refuse to not do something because of fear. And I genuinely wanted to go up and do it. It was only fear that kept me from doing it. So I brushed it off and just went up. I didn't make it to the top, but I nonetheless I went up.
Jen Rogers: 23:33
What a great place to end. Thanks so much for joining us today. It's such a treat to have you. Yes, thank you, sir.
Terry Peña: 23:38
No, thank you guys for having me. It was amazing. This is, guys. I'm sure you guys can relate. This is why we do what we do we want to include God and we want to see God really change the lives of these people, of our own lives. So, thank you, thank you for having me.
Jen Rogers: 23:52
Yeah, our pleasure, sure. So after listening to this episode, I know you don't have money burning a hole in your pocket because you are creating a plan for your money. Listen, for $17, you could get a magnetic fidget pen, before taxes and shipping, or you could invest in a slushy maker cup, or you could buy yourself some Bernie Buster Toaster Tongs. Yes, it's a real thing. Here's my recommendation of what to do with $17. Instead, join us inside the VIP guest night of the Empowered Stepmom Academy. This is our second one, and the first one was a huge success. There'll be tons of financial goodies for you to take away from our time together. It's February 15th at 6 pm central, which means you must register by 5.49 pm to join us inside the virtual space. There'll be rewards to help you with your financial management plans. When you sign up and come into our Empowerment VIP guest night inside of the Academy, join me and Terry Peña inside.
I can't wait to see you there. Click on the link in the show notes to register. Yes, if you wanted to start with the end in mind and you listened to part two before part one, just click the link in the show notes to begin listening to part one of today's two-part episode.
