Reinvention After Divorce – How a Marriage Breakdown Led to a Personal Breakthrough with Nina Blaicher

Reinventing ourselves after a divorce is no easy task.

In fact, breaking apart our life may be one of the hardest things we can experience.

It may mean we come to our reinvention journey reluctantly and not ready to face things.

It typically requires shining a light on ourselves and delving into those hard-to-uncover places to make forward progress.

No easy task yet full of possibilities when we do.

Such is the journey of Nina Blaicher. Her reinvention after a difficult divorce is deeply impactful and inspiring. A must-listen if you're dealing with a divorce, or any life-changing event.

She helps us see there's a way through and out that can leave us feeling happier and more fulfilled on the other side.

I love what Nina shares about:

✅ Why you have to tear everything down and ask yourself compelling questions to begin anew
✅ How she used her divorce as an opportunity for self-discovery and exploration
✅ How she showered herself with self-love during and after her divorce
✅ How she started the See the Upside podcast
✅ Why being willing to fail gets us one step closer to our dreams
✅ Why we need to learn to trust the unknown

Her openness and vulnerability remind me that we all can do hard things and grow from the experience, even when incredibly difficult.

No matter where you are on your reinvention path, Lean in and listen to this amazing episode and then share it with a friend!

Connect with Nina:

Website: See the Upside
Podcast: See the Upside
Instagram: @see.theupside

Mentioned in this episode:

• Midlife Reinvention: Offer Yourself Gratitude and Grace as You Navigate Your Reinvention Journey
• Reinventing My 50s: Good Girl Gone - How I Ditched Perfectionism and People Pleasing to Find My Authentic Self with Wendy Hutchinson
• See the Upside Podcast: How to Rock a Midlife Reinvention with Wendy Battles

Ready for less stress and more energy? Go to https://www.magicmind.co/rebels and get 40% off your subscription for the next 10 days with my code REBELS20 or 20% off your first one-time purchase.

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Transcript

Nina: I think we all want to have a greater purpose. We all have a spark within us that is calling. I think of the version of myself before I got divorced and she didn't even know that was a thing. She didn't even know what intuition was and I wish I had had a podcast like yours or like mine to inspire me to realize there's something deeper in there, there's greater connection, there's more meaning, there's just so much more.

[Reinvention Rebels Theme]

Wendy: Welcome to Reinvention Rebels, stories of brave and unapologetic women, 50 to 90 years young, who have boldly reimagined life, on their own terms, to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, Wendy Battles. Ready for a dose of inspiration? Let's get to it.

Hey, everybody, welcome to the Reinvention Rebels Podcast, I am your host, Wendy. And I'm so excited you've joined me today. If you are a first-time listener, welcome aboard, this is an amazing place to come for inspiration about what is possible when we decide we want to reinvent ourselves. And if you are looking for some inspiration, if you want to hear stories about how fierce women have done it even when they're scared, even when they're unsure. There are over 50 fabulous episodes for you to lean into and hear how they did it as inspiration for your own reinvention rebel journey. So, again, welcome aboard. I'm really glad you're here. I am, so, so excited about today's episode. in just a couple of moments, I'm going to introduce you to my very special guest who has such an interesting and life changing really, reinvention story that she is going to share. And I think you'll be getting a lot from it. 

But before we get to that, I want to just check in. How was your Thanksgiving if you were celebrating last week? Which if you're listening, whenever in the future it probably wasn't last week. But for those of you that are listening, when this is published, I hope you had a chance to really, get together with family and friends, reconnect or just spend some quality time with yourself tuning into yourself, can also be a great time for reflection. And if you heard last week's episode, it was all about gratitude and grace. I talked a little bit about the many different things I'm feeling really, really grateful for this year. Like most years, there are amazing things that happened and then there are not-so-great things that happened and everything in between, right just the cycle of life but I am grateful for the challenges as well as the joys and if you didn't have a chance to listen, I am pointing to it in the show notes. You can tap or click to listen. And I'm still abuzz over my guest a couple of weeks ago, Wendy Hutchinson, because I have so been a good girl, I have so been a people pleaser. I've so been a perfectionist, I've leaned into all those tendencies. I'm working really hard to kick them to the curb, [unintelligible [00:03:50] it's an evolution. In some places, I've been great and in other places, I've still got some work to do but this was truly an inspiring episode. I have also link to that too because I don't want you to miss that one. If you didn't have a chance to listen you will get so much from it. On that note, it is time for us to start this amazing conversation with my guest, Nina Blaicher, who is so cool and so fierce and what she has done and how she's reinvented herself after divorce. Mm, I love her story. I love the fact that you can take something so terrible and turn it into something joyful. So, let me introduce you to this fierce and fabulous woman.

[music]

Nina Blaicher is a writer and host for the See the Upside podcast where she shares ways to find positivity, up level your life, and become the best version of you even when hard things happen. After going through divorce, Nina had a rough awakening, a totally teardown reconstruction of her life, marriage, work, house, financial, all of it. Through this painful transition, Nina realized that the hard things can break you down or they can break you open in the most beautiful way. She chose the ladder. Now, looking back, she wouldn't change a thing. The challenges she faced ended up being incredible invitations to a better life and a better version of her. Now, Nina focuses on exploring ways to apply this principle, by learning something new every day, sharing stories of overcoming incredible obstacles, embracing lessons and each hurdle that come our way, and celebrating the good. We are here to learn and grow. We're here to discover and choose our internal light. And we're here to support and inspire each other along the way. Our purpose is not to struggle and just survive, it's to choose to believe in miracles and thrive. And when we do, life totally changes. You can see that this is going to be a really incredible conversation with Nina. Nina Blaicher, welcome to the Reinvention Rebels.

Nina: Thank you, Wendy. So happy to be here. I love what you're doing. I love all these stories. They're so inspiring and can't wait for our conversation. So good.

Wendy: Well, I have to say, Nina, that it is a mutual admiration club. And I feel the same way about you and really thrilled that I get to have you on my guest chair because I had the chance to be a guest on your amazing podcast, See the Upside. And I'm just really excited for what we're going to talk about. I honestly have so many questions for you, but I love to begin by talking a little bit about the reinvention process, because for so many women, you know reinventions are life-changing. And you talked about in the bio that I read, you talked about how you tore your whole life down to rebuild it. Can you just give us a little synopsis of how things unfolded? Both your divorce and then how you reinvented yourself?

Nina: Yeah sure. I think a lot of your show and when we think of Reinvention Rebels, we think of reinventions that we choose in life and my reinvention hit me across the head like it was not something I was necessarily even thinking about or looking to do. I thought I had a good life and a happy marriage and a good situation and then a series of events happen that really kind of collapsed everything and it had just long-reaching repercussions into our home, our financial life, our marriage, our friendships, I mean, really just reverberating through absolutely everything. And there was a defining moment where I realized this life and this marriage, and everything that I had built in this life was not going to work, and had to really reassess everything. And, you have to go deep down into the dark well to go internal with yourself and look at the reality of where you're at. And that's what happened to me. I mean, it was a total collapse of everything. It was really, really hard and not something I really wanted to do, but a place where I ended up.

And what really happened is I realized that it was a time to really assess my core values. Think about who I was and what I wanted. And in general, when you're going through divorce, I mean not everybody goes through such a dramatic situation like I did. But when you separate from a marriage, you really are forced into this reevaluation of yourself, your core values, who you are. And you really kind of get to know yourself in a way that is very different and vulnerable and scary and hard than in any other way in your life because you were married, you had this relationship, you thought this is what your life is going to look like. And it's not only the ending of your relationship with that person, like before I got divorced, I thought that's what divorce was, like it's the end of a relationship then you just heal and you recover and then you meet someone else. But when you have kids and you've been together with someone for a long time, you realize that what you had enmeshed into your marriage is so much more than just your relationship. It's your identity, it's your dreams, it's your friendships that you have, it's your life. And when that separates, you have to really get to know yourself.

And it's hard because usually after divorce there are things that you need to look at and be honest with yourself about, maybe not all the good things, like ways that you might want to change, areas where you need to be accountable. Maybe you've been living in a marriage where you're living in a certain part of the country or you're engaging in social activities, and you realize those aren't even really who you are. So, there's a lot of discovery, there's a lot of evaluation, there's a lot of assessment. Its very detailed, it's very hard, it's very emotional, bit is really life changing and incredible when you come out on that other side because there's so much opportunity in it, there's so much possibility, there's so much sudden awareness of how you want to live your life, who you are, what you're all about, and really going back to reinvention rebels, I mean, you can totally reinvent yourself, you can change anything you want to. So, it ends up being really positive incredible thing, but it feels really, really uncomfortable and hard in that moment when you're doing it.

Wendy: Yeah, I don't know how it couldn't feel impossibly hard just as you explain all the different things that were going on because part of what I hear you saying is that there are many different dynamics at play. And I like how you talked about, it's not just the relationship, it's all those other spokes that really sort of surround that relationship where there's a lot of enmeshment that make it really complicated. And I can feel how difficult that must have been. But the other thing I heard you say, Nina, is that despite how hard it was, and as you said this isn't something that you chose because you're right many of us consciously say I want to reinvent myself. So many of the reinvention rebels get an idea or they've had this inkling, they've had that feeling like there's something I want to do. But this is a very different situation when we're unexpecting it, just happens for whatever reason. But the thing I heard you say Nina that I thought was really impactful is that as hard as it was, as many obstacles as you faced, it also provided amazing opportunities that you are needing to--

Nina: Huge invitation, yeah, which for me it's interesting to look back because of course in hindsight things are so much clearer and you can see the pattern, you can understand the purpose behind things. And when I look at the course of my marriage and where things ended up and how things ended and all of that, it's like the universe was guiding me to a better version of myself along the way, but I just wasn't really seeing it. So, sometimes when that happens in life and it could be any kind of reinvention rebel calling where you're getting called to travel more, you're getting called to live in a certain place, the universe will keep giving you that invitation over and over and putting it in your path. And when you don't choose it, the voice and the message get louder and louder. It's not going to go away, keeps coming. So that's what happened to me. And, I really do believe and I really didn't understand this until I went through my experience, but I do think our biggest opportunities for growth and for expansion and for compassion and self-awareness and understanding is through really painful moments. And it's hard, it's like why does life need to be that way, but it's [audio cut] goes. Yeah. [laughs]

Wendy: It's true and I think that you're right about life being such a big teacher for us even though sometimes we don't want to see it at first and I have learned some of these lessons many times, so I finally got it which isn't always fun. But I liked how you send an invitation because so many times it feels like something bad happens and we go kicking and screaming, I don't want this or I can be resistant. I don't like this idea. But the way that you came to this, and I know it wasn't immediately you don't just-- you're about to get divorced and it's all sunshine and roses, right, as you talked about, it's this really lengthy process that you work through, there're so many emotions and things that you work through. But I like how you said it was also an invitation to something new, because I'm curious, as a result of going through this very difficult process and then reimagining your life, as you said, you looked at everything, what happened as a result? How was your life changed on the other side?

Nina: Well, I think of it as like, "My married life, the transition, and then my life after, like the beginning, middle and end, I suppose, of like before my awakening, my process of awakening I guess, and then my life after." And I think that it's changed radically, it really opened me up to so many things. I mean, first of all, spiritually I had been like sort of spiritual or religious, I grew up with religion and my family, but never really connected or resonated with it and symbolic of the whole experience. I picked up Gabby Bernstein's book called The Universe Has Your Back and she's very spiritual, but it's not like a defined religion. And after reading that book, I realized we have the power and choice within each of us to define our own spiritual connection in the way that we want to. And this doesn't mean that organized religion isn't good or isn't a great choice, or isn't real, or anything like that. But there are so many different ways and I think the whole foundation behind it is, what do you need? What allows you to be the best version of you and allows you to be a good person and continue growing and expanding spiritually. What resonates with you?

And, to me that was sort of symbolic of everything that I was doing at that time, which was assessing who I was, what my core values were, what integrity meant, what respect in a relationship meant, what loving someone meant, what my friendships meant, I mean after divorce your friendships change. And sometimes you have to get to places where you realize your friendship with a girlfriend was for a certain season and had a purpose in your life. And it doesn't mean you didn't love each other and have a wonderful friendship but maybe that friendship season has come to a close and I had that happen and I had to grieve that too. So, just a lot of realizations of life is so like we were talking earlier so filled with possibility and it's really up to us to choose what's important, how we want to live, everything from, "How do we want to be spiritual? How do we want to be in a relationship? How do we want our friendships." And the process of getting all of that aligned and making it fall into place in the way that creates a life that you want is really, first of all, going into yourself and realizing what that even is, what does that mean for you to spend the time and the space and the reflection of realizing who you are and what you're about and what's important to you and when you've been in a marriage that takes some disentanglement, some separation, sometimes some meditation, some thoughtful reflection to figure out what does a marriage mean to me, what does being successful mean to me, everything in your life that's important to really get to know yourself. And then once you know what you want, when you sat down and realize these are the things that are important to you, then you need to do the part. And this is also very hard for a lot of women after divorce, you have to sort of get to that place in yourself to realize that you deserve it.

And a lot of us come out of divorce a little broken, a little damaged. And it's going back into that part of ourselves and doing the healing work. So, for me what that meant was really exploring all different kinds of modalities, I went to a therapist, I went to an energy healer, I did a ton of yoga, I did a lot of meditation, I dated other people, I talked to friends, and just really got committed and intentional about healing the things inside of me that I knew needed some work. And committing to not only living a life that I love and I want to live, but having purpose and being the best version of myself. So, there's a whole process in doing that when you come out of divorce. The first is, you're like in survival, you're just trying to make [audio cut] day and pay your bills and be able to go to the grocery store, and do all the things.

And you're grieving, you have to grieve and that's going to involve anger, resentment, sadness, and disappointment, and all the grief things. And then you get to that, who am I? What do I want? How do I want my life to look? And then it’s, how do I heal myself, so I can invite that in, and allow it in, and actually live it and make it happen. And then it's okay, "Now I need to believe it's actually possible that the relationship that I want is out there, and that I'm worthy of it, and I deserve it." And then you need to go out and create the situations where you can find and live that life. So, that's really, very similar to the process of a reinvention rebel where then you have to go out and put yourself in the place where you can meet the person, where you can get the successful career, where you can start the business, where you can have the freedom or whatever it is that is important to you and resonates with you when you're coming out of divorce and go live as if and go make it happen and believe that you can.

Wendy: My conversation with Nina reminds me about how stressful life can be. I often struggle with anxiety. Luckily, not the type of anxiety that requires medication. But honestly, I worry about all the things I'm juggling, from my full-time job, to caregiving duties for my aging mom to, of course, getting everything done for the podcast. It can stress me out and sometimes, okay, a lot of the time, I find it hard to relax. But then I found Magic Mind, this little green elixir has been amazing. It's got adaptogens like ashwagandha that help me reduce my anxiety, it's also got matcha that helps reduce stress and lots of other good-for-you ingredients to increase focus and concentration. It's been so helpful that I can sit down to watch a movie and not have my brain on overload thinking about my to-do list.

I've been able to relax and focus more in the midst of my ultra-busy life and it feels pretty great. Knowing how well it works for me, I encourage you to check it out too. If anxiety, stress, lack of energy, or focus are issues for you Magic Mind may be just what you need. Go to www.magicmind.co/rebels and get 40% off your subscription for the next 10 days with my code REBELS20 or 20% off your first one-time purchase. I can't wait for you to try it and feel what less anxiety and stress feels like. Because it feels good. More details are in the show notes.

Now, I think what you said is so interesting because you're right, there're so many parallels between this process of going through and sort of rebirthing on the other side of divorce and also reinventing oneself, it's very much similar that we spend a lot of time reflecting, self-reflection, thinking about what we want, sometimes grieving what we don't have or have lost to get to the other side. So, there's that side where it's very, very difficult sometimes when we're going through that process. But then as you mentioned, if we can get to that other side there is so much possibility. And it makes me wonder, as I'm thinking, Nina, about people that are listening to this episode, and they're like, "oh my gosh," I can really relate to this. I can relate to something tying, going away, and then trying to sort of rebirth something. But I'm really fearful why there's so much fear-- a lot of times the unknown because we don't always know what's on the other side till we get there. What advice do you have for people that are listening that are thinking, wow, "Nina did this and it took a lot of courage to face these things." How can women develop their courage muscle, whether it's the process of going through divorce or some other type of reinvention?

Nina: It's a great question and it's interesting because I'm a Virgo, I'm a firstborn, I'm an Enneagram 3, and coming out of marriage in the way that I did and I think a lot of women, this happens when you come out of marriage, where you have this chaotic loss of control of something in your life. And so, you have this iron grip that you want to control whatever you can control. And I'm like that. I grip on this stuff like iron grip and trusting and letting go and releasing has been probably one of my biggest obstacles. And all I can say is, it's a practice, it's something that you work on within yourself and/or with a professional. I go to an energy healer, Melanie Shear, and she's amazing, I spend an hour with her every two weeks and we focus a lot of healing time on this on how you can learn to take little steps into trusting and letting go. And it's a practice, you learn some tools like meditation is huge for me, yoga is huge for me.

There are ways you can get in tune with your intuition. That's another one that's been huge for me with learning to trust in the unknown, is getting clear about what I want to be in the unknown. What do I want my life to look like? What do I want the future to look like? And really [unintelligible [00:27:47] into what that is and why it is. Not the exact right way and I think that's where people can get a little tripped up or confused is they'll-- let's talk about dating just as an example that after you get divorced, you start dating again and you have this vision of, I want someone who's 6 feet tall, dark hair, they've got to work and they've got to be a doctor, they need to live in this town. And you have all these parameters, well really what you need to do is get into the feeling of what you want that relationship to look like. How do you want to feel in a relationship? Do you want to feel safe? Do you want to feel excited? Do you want to feel adventurous? Do you want to feel comfortable? Do you want to feel alive, whatever it is, get down into what the dynamic is, not what it looks like? And that can be anything. For example, if you want to start a business and you don't know what it is, what would you like to do in a business? Meaning, do you want to be running something? Do you want to be free? Do you want to have employees? Do you like mentoring people? Rather than getting bogged down in the details of exactly how it looks like.

So that feeds into that trusting the unknown too that it comes back to faith and practice and bringing yourself back because I'm not perfect at this. You don't master this, you're on a journey for your life where you have to learn to guide yourself back and that's what I do, I've gotten faster and better in those moments of doubt or fear or worry or anxiety, I can bring myself back faster and to myself, you know and you build that trust over time, you do and you learn how to do it.

Wendy: You are so right about this being a practice and something that we can get better at over time, the more we do it because I am totally relating to what you're saying about sometimes wanting to do cool things. And right, I can be the same way. But I've also learned so much in the process of even reinventing myself about this idea of letting go, and trusting, and having faith, and I've talked about this on many different episodes that that is one of the keys to believing that we can change whatever it is we want to change or create, whatever it is we want to create. So, I am right there with you on that.

Nina: Yeah, you need to realize-

Wendy: I would love [crosstalk]

Nina: -that the control actually can block things that you learn [crosstalk]-

Wendy: Yeah, totally.

Nina: -by trying to grip on to an idea or specific thing that you're so focused on that, that you miss the beautiful miracle that's like floating right next to you when it comes because you're like have your blinders on.

Wendy: Yeah, it's definitely so true. I'm really curious because out of this kind of things falling apart and then reimagining your life, somehow, your beautiful podcast evolved, See the Upside and I'm really curious about how that fits into this idea of you reimagining your life.

Nina: Yeah, well, and it's funny because it's really going to the whole conversation that we're just having, which is being open to infinite possibilities, and allowing yourself to see the miracles and follow your intuition when the call comes. Because I never really planned to do that. It wasn't anything I ever aspired to do. And to be totally honest this should open things up for some of your audience too, nobody ever said I was creative or should go talk on a radio or should write anything or this never was like a thing for me or was anything and [crosstalk] said to me.

[laughter]

Nina: All I know is I came out of this divorce with a strong feeling of needing to help other women that were going through really hard divorces. And through a couple of series of events, I started feeling like I needed to share some of my healing experience and that's really how it started. My divorce was finalized March of 2020. I had been separated for a little while prior to that. But I just started a social media account on Instagram and a website and just started writing about the things I was working through the challenges I was having. The inability to trust, the transition between letting go of friends, and just everyday things like having hard days when you're healing, what my grieving challenges were whatever it was, I would write about different topics every day. And my friend Carrie, who lives in Laguna Niguel and is a life coach. She and I had met long ago at the Gap Headquarters when we were in our early 20s and we're friends and then we lived separate lives. We both went through these difficult divorces and through divine intervention ended up reconnecting. And we would have these long conversations on the phone just everything about what we were going through.

We would laugh and say, "Oh, my gosh, we should record this conversation like this would be so helpful to so many people. There're so many women out there who would love to know, talk through these things with us and be a part of this conversation." So, she agreed to be my very first guest and that's what we did as we started the podcast and it's really just evolved from there. Although it has a divorce flavor to it, it's really about overcoming obstacles, finding the good and the opportunity in everything, especially the hard things, and really how to just continue expanding and growing and being your very best self.

Wendy: I love that and you talked about it in the bio, like, "Tuning into your internal light, that light that's inside all of us." And I feel like your podcast really sparks that.

Nina: Oh, thank you.

Wendy: You know that idea of possibility. It's all about possibility and because you're so authentic, because you're so open to sharing, because you tell your story it's so relatable and I think that even if you haven't been divorced, as you said, the episodes are totally relatable. There's information that can inspire us. And these days, where I feel like it's sort of dark, chaotic, uncertain times, I think we all need more light. We all need encouragement, we all need to see what's possible and I think we can see what's possible in many different ways. So, I just love it.

Nina: Yeah, thank you. And I think we all want to have a greater purpose, we all have a spark within us that is calling. I think of the version of myself before I got divorced and she didn't even know that was a thing. She didn't even know what intuition was and I wish, I had had a podcast like yours or like mine to inspire me to realize there's something deeper in there, there's greater connection, there's more meaning, there's just so much more. I was in this autopilot stage. And I say, now, I was living like a half-life. And I didn't know any different, I didn't know there was something better, I didn't know how to connect deeper, I just didn't know, and that's why the universe had to smack me over the head and be like, okay. [laughs] [audio cut] wake you up.

Wendy: Hello Nina, hello, [laughter] right, but I think there's something to be said for that because I think that you are not alone. I think there are so many people that are half awake and maybe barely awake, but I think that when we are open as you are and you illustrate so beautifully when we're open to the possibilities and we're willing to awaken in whatever way that might manifest and works for us that's when we can be our best most authentic selves and we can live on purpose. And we're open to listening to the wisdom that bubbles up as you talked about and we are curious, like you were to try a bunch of different things. Because we don't always know what's going to work. We try different things and some things resonate with us because I heard you say, you really like meditation and energy healing, and that really resonated with you. I think that when we're reinventing ourselves we have to be open or when we're most successful at least we're open to trying these different things. And that always having to have this preconceived notion of what will work out because sometimes we don't know yet. We feel into it and we can figure it out.

Nina: Yeah, well I think being willing to fail, I think our failures or they're not even really failures, our little side roads that we go down are still getting us one step closer to our dream or where we want to go. But I think it all really starts with ourselves with getting in tune and getting to know ourselves. And I think a lot of women that are married and especially those that have children, lose themselves, they give everything to everybody else, and we all still have that light within us. And we're not here to dim it down. We're not here to keep that buried within. We all have something special that we are here to share with the world. And it's our responsibility and our privilege to tap into that and blast it out into the world. And I used to just feel like, "I didn't really prioritize myself, I didn't know myself, my own opinions didn't matter to me whether where we went to dinner, or where we went on vacation, or whatever. I was like, Oh, whatever." But you know what, that is living a half-life. It's not authentic.

And nobody wants you to be that way. We're not designed for that. And once you realize that, stepping into your beautiful light, your greatness, all of that really allows you to shine your best for everybody, not just for you. Of course, we get the added benefit of living this fulfilling amazing life by following our dreams and reinventing ourselves, and creating this life that feels good and is happy and connected and fulfilling and purposeful. But we also get to give that out to everybody around us and it gives permission to everybody else. I mean, it's like, it just keeps giving and escalating and expanding once you get there.

Wendy: It really does. And I know it's a challenge to get there but when you do it's pretty amazing. And you know because I can see that in you. I see that in myself that living on the purpose, of finding our inner light, of being of service to other people in the most joyful ways.

Nina: Yeah.

Wendy: And I feel like that's life-changing.

Nina: Absolutely, I do want to add that you can have different chapters, different reinventions at different times in your life too. I mean you can be called, I can be called to do this podcast for the next 10 years, but then maybe I might shift and become like a master gardener or something, I don't know, something else could be calling me to shine my light in a different way. But you will see this thread of something within all the callings that is true and fundamental to you. And the more you explore and tap in and get connected and in tune with that, the more fun you're going to have, the bigger light you're going to shine and it just gets amazing, I didn't know life could feel this good. I had no idea. And if I would have known this while I was going through my divorce that would have been really helpful.

Wendy: I know, I know but we come to these things when we're ready, we can see and hear them in our own time. Because you know how people will try to tell you, "Oh, Nina or Wendy, if you just do whatever you like," whatever. But then, I don't know, sometime later, you're like, "Oh, my gosh, now I can see that."

Nina: We get there when we get there, yeah.

Wendy: We get there when we get there and we're all on our own right? In our own process, our own self-evolution. That's nobody else's timetable, but our own. So, I appreciate that you've uncovered these things as you've gone and they've unfolded in just the right way. As we wrap up, Nina, I have to ask you if you have to step back and give your beautiful journey which wasn't beautiful, of course, at the beginning and was really painful. Yeah, but you worked through to right, like so complicated. But now you're on the other side. So, as you step back and you think about this whole process you've been through for the last several years, if you had to give that reinvention journey a theme, what would it be?

Nina: Well, of course, what's going to come to me is See the Upside. And one of the reasons I love that name and why I went with that name is I wasn't that person before, I did not see the glass was half full. I wasn't super positive. I mean, it wasn't like Debbie Downer or anything but I just didn't know that so much of life is a choice, how we view things and going into reinventing yourself, so much of it has to do with how you see it, what you think is possible, what you think you deserve. How you're going to view the setbacks? Are they obstacles that are designed to get you on the right path, that's what they are, they're not designed to put you into pain or frustration or roadblocks. They're just pointing you in the right direction, it just doesn't feel like it in that moment. So, that's why I like that phrase See the Upside is because we do have a choice. And it's pretty simple to shift that mindset and it becomes a habit and then you start feeling good a lot more. And then you start really being able to be resilient and overcome the obstacles and know that they're just getting you closer to where you're supposed to go and you get into what we were talking about earlier that faith where you feel like you can trust. You may not know where the ship is going but if you realize that there's something good and it's just steering you that way and you trust it and you get in tuned with yourself and you get in tuned with you know just life then it feels really, really, good.

Wendy: I love it, you put that so beautifully, See the Upside and this idea that we always have a choice and there are endless possibilities for us to grow into who we're meant to be. I know Nina that so many people who are listening to our conversation are like, I need to know more about Nina, I need to know where I can find Nina and this positivity, seeing the upside and everything else, where can listeners connect?

Nina: The best place to find me is through the podcast which is See the Upside podcast, you can just type in See the Upside and to all the major podcast channels like Apple, Spotify, Google, Amazon, all of those guys, I'm on all those, and I do have a website seetheupside.com. And I'm also on Instagram @see.theupside. So, I would love to connect with everybody there, I'm really excited to get to know your audience a little bit better.

Wendy: I love it. And I know they'll be excited to get to know you too and listen in to your podcast, highly recommended.

Nina: Yeah, that's the good one, coming up, so fun.

Wendy: Oh, wonderful, wonderful. I can't wait to tune into your new episodes. And honestly, Nina, I cannot thank you enough for gracing me with your presence, for sharing your light, for sharing the inspiration about what's possible as we navigate difficult things, whether it's divorce or anything else in midlife, there are so many I mean, we go through a long list of different challenges. If it's not divorce, it's something else or multiple things. Right, so having this great resource to tap into really ourselves and to see what's possible, it's very empowering, which is really what your podcast is. So, thank you for joining me today.

Nina: Oh, thank you, Wendy, it's been such a pleasure. And I totally admire and feel the same way about you, I love that you're inspiring women to step into changing themselves and creating the life that they want. I think for some reason, it's like, we didn't know that we had the power all along. It's like Dorothy in her red shoes, we've always been able to reinvent ourselves, we just didn't know it and all you have to do is decide to do it and realize it's possible. I mean, it's that simple.

Wendy: Yeah, you're right though, it really is. And if we believe, the how will work itself out. We'll get to the specifics of it.

Nina: [unintelligible [00:47:04] 

Wendy: If we have our--

Nina: It comes.

Wendy: Yeah, it really does, it really does and this just reinforces this idea so beautifully. So, thank you, friend. Thank you.

Nina: Thank you, Wendy. I always love my time with you.

[music]

Wendy: Hey, rebels. I hope you enjoyed today's episode with Nina as much as I did. Isn't she inspiring? If you've been divorced, gone through a divorce, know the heartache of a divorce, or even if you haven't, we all know similar heartache. We know how hard it is to start over and create something new. I loved the ideas that she shared about how we can get started even when it's very hard. If you love this episode, please share it with a friend who is going through hard time, going through a divorce, or just could benefit from fresh inspiration. And also, to check out her, See the Upside podcast which is full of amazing women figuring things out and please let them know. And if this inspires you about your own reinvention don't forget to download my free offering. Five questions to spark your curiosity and inspire your Reinvention Rebel journey. Details are in the show notes. I can't wait to see you next week for a new really cool and thought-provoking solo episode. See you then.

Hey, rebel if this episode inspired you to think about what's possible in your life, I'll share a little secret. Any of us can reinvent ourselves, no matter where we are in our lives, any age, any stage. We just have to decide to get started. Here's a super simple way for you to get going with your reinvention dreams. Download my audio, five questions to spark your curiosity and inspire your reinvention journey. I share five key questions that will spur your thinking, help you uncover your dreams, and motivate you to take action. Because if not now, when? Details in the show notes. Let's get inspired together.

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