Reinvention Rebels

Reinventing Self-Care During the Holidays: Healthy Boundaries Are Our Friend! | 3 Boundary-Setting Questions to Navigate the Holidays with Ease

December 22, 2022 Wendy Battles Season 4 Episode 15
Reinvention Rebels
Reinventing Self-Care During the Holidays: Healthy Boundaries Are Our Friend! | 3 Boundary-Setting Questions to Navigate the Holidays with Ease
Show Notes Transcript

Want to navigate the holiday season with more ease and grace and less stress?

It's all about beginning with the end in mind and being intentional this holiday season.

Before we're swept away by all the holiday preparations, take some time for you and make self-care a priority throughout the next several weeks. 

I've spent way too many holiday seasons feeling stressed by unrealistic expectations.

But I believe we can reinvent self-care during the holidays season by establishing healthy boundaries.

I can't wait for you to listen to this episode where I share:

✳️ Why boundaries are so important, especially during the holidays

✳️  Why tuning into how you want to FEEL during and after the holidays is key

✳️  The 3 boundary-setting questions to ask yourself that will increase your self-care and joy factor

✳️  Why both asking and listening are important self-care strategies you should try

✳️  How being open to exploring creative solutions helps ease holiday stress


The truth is, no matter our age, it's never too late to navigate the holiday season with new skills and possibilities.

Have you struggled with stress in the past? That's okay, me too. Let's reimagine how you can take better care of yourself this holiday season in new and empowering ways!

Finding more joy in being together and communicating ahead of time about how we'd like things to unfold helps. Healthy boundaries will help you reinvent the holidays with greater joy and peace.


Let's do this holiday thing in new ways. I'm all in on this mini-reinvention and hope you are too!

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Wendy: I hope that these holidays are joyful for you. I hope that you are able to truly spend time with people that are most important to you and enjoy the heck out of them. This episode is all about how we can reinvent self-care, which is so hard during the holidays when we're often spread thin. How can we reinvent that get more than ease and grace by setting some healthy boundaries, because boundaries really are our friend? 

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Welcome to Reinvention Rebels, stories of brave and unapologetic women, 50 to 90 years young, who have boldly reimagined life on their own terms to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, Wendy Battles. Ready for a dose of inspiration? Let's get to it.

Hi everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Reinvention Rebels Podcast. I am your host, Wendy, and I am so excited that you are here. This is the place to come for information and inspiration about reinventing ourselves and reinventing ourselves at any age or any stage. I happen to focus on midlife and older women between 50 and 90, but the truth of the matter is that it doesn't matter how old we are, whether we’re men or women, we can all reinvent ourselves at different times in different ways. This provides some universal inspiration about what's possible by sharing stories of amazing women who have reinvented themselves. And also sharing some solo episodes where I get into the details and some of the key ingredients that can help us think differently about our reinvention rebel journey to help us kick start that journey with grace, and ease, and courage unapologetically. 

I'm really excited about today's episode, because the holidays are upon us. Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, happy Kwanzaa, whatever you may be celebrating. I hope that these holidays are joyful for you. I hope that you are able to truly spend time with people that are most important to you and enjoy the heck out of them. This episode is all about how we can reinvent self-care, which is so hard during the holidays when we're often spread thin. How can we reinvent that? Get more ease and grace by setting some healthy boundaries. Because boundaries really are our friend. We're going to talk more about that in just a moment. 

Before though we get to that, I do want to ask you, if you had a chance to listen to last week's episode with the very amazing and inspiring, Dr. Sheryl Barnes? I loved, loved, loved my conversation with her. I was so inspired by her. One of my big takeaways was this idea of micro joy that we can find joy in teeny tiny places. That joy does not have to be about some big old thing that happens. You get the big job, you find the most amazing partner, whatever those things can be. Those are all important and wonderful. But what if we could find joy in little places too? That's not always about the big thing happening. Sheryl shared so many insights and so much wisdom. I think it's especially appropriate, because we are in the midst of the holidays and there is an expectation in our world that things are so joyful and so happy, and you see all the commercials on TV, and everyone is celebrating and going to parties, but that's not everyone's reality. 

Especially, in our post Covid-ish world, where our relationships may be different, things may have changed, it doesn't feel the same as before the pandemic, and it can be hard to navigate. So, we're going to be leaning into how we can find more joy and we're going to talk more about that. If you didn't have a chance to listen, I'll simply say I have linked to it in the show notes for easy access. I highly encourage you to listen to what Sheryl has to say and get inspired along with today's episode.

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Reinventing self-care during the holidays by thinking about healthy boundaries and what that looks like. I will say that there are three things that I want to encourage you to think about. We're going to talk about each one of those things and what that might look like. But I will simply say the holidays can be fun, they can be joyful, they can be sad, they can be disappointing, they can be somewhere in between. So, all of us are probably in different places when it comes to how we navigate the holidays. I'll simply say that I am such a work in progress. I'm trying to figure it out. What I've noticed is that we can be so strong in expressing ourselves in certain areas. We can find our bold voice, we can speak our authentic truth, but it doesn't mean we do that across all areas of our life. I feel so strongly that I found my voice when it comes to podcasting, and women and reinvention and it's easy and it's joyful and I love it. But that doesn't mean that translates into all parts of my life. This is where I think we need to lean in and think about self-care. What is it I need to navigate the holidays? What is it I need to feel good during the holidays? What does my self-care look like for me? So, those are some questions I would encourage you to think about. 

I want you to think about three things that I'm working on when it comes to healthy boundaries and navigating the holidays. This may be helpful for you. So, I want you to try these three things on for size. The first thing I want you to be thinking about when it comes to self-care and navigating the holidays is about how you want to feel. How is it you want to feel when the holidays are over? What is that feeling that you want to evoke? Do you want to feel happy, do you want to feel satisfied, do you want to feel connected? Whatever those things are. For me, it's about feeling calm. I want the holidays for me to feel really calm. No big shakeups, no major arguments with whoever it might be, I want to feel calm and I want to feel at peace. So, what is that feeling that you want to create? What is that feeling that you want to feel at the end? Because that has a lot to do with making sure we're doing some things to support that, taking care of ourselves with our boundaries, so that at the end of the holidays, when it's time to go back to work or do whatever you do, when all this hoopla is over, I want you to feel that way. I want to feel that way too. So, that's number one. How do you want to feel as you navigate at the end of the holidays? Because I should say, it's throughout, not just at the end but throughout this period, number one. 

Number two, how can you be intentional about how you want to feel? How can you be intentional? Meaning, how can you set expectations with those around you, which, for me, means I got to do a lot more talking. In the past, I've assumed people should know I want to feel X Or, they should know. They may be upset, but that's ridiculous because if I don't tell people, if I don't talk to them, if I don't communicate, they're not going to know and they're probably not going to care, right? They need to understand that. So, for me, it's about setting expectations that is so key to our boundaries. We've got that feeling and then we've got these expectations and the communication. The expectations, that can help us manage that. That's part of this idea of our boundaries to how can I express to whomever those people are, my friends, my family, co-workers, whomever those people might be. How can I express some of my expectations? And also ask people. It's not just a one-way street, but ask them, how do they want to feel? What are they looking for? What are their expectations? So, for me, it's about having a conversation about expectations to manage the holidays. That is so key to self-care. 

Number three, what if were open to creative solutions? What if it wasn't just A or B? What if there was C, D and E as well? What if we’re open to exploring creative solutions to navigating the holidays? Maybe some of that boundary setting is being willing to say, would you be open to trying something new? How would you feel about doing something different than what we've done before? How do you feel about that? So, the willingness to ask and listen to not be so set in, this is the way we've always done it, which I can easily fall into. And to think that there might be other ways to get to the heart of something where everyone can really enjoy the holidays. So, thinking a little differently about what that might look like and being open to creative solutions. Not necessarily at all or nothing, but being open to creative solutions. 
Those are my three suggestions. Thinking very simply about how we can set up some healthy boundaries so that we are really taking care of ourselves. Because when we take care of ourselves, we're also taking care of those people that we love. So, when we feel better, it's much easier for us to be thinking about other people as well. 

Again, three things to think about for self-care to help us with some healthy boundaries as we navigate the holidays with more grace and ease. One, thinking about how you want to feel. How do you want to feel during and after the holidays and letting that be your North Star? If you can get clarity about that feeling, what that's going to feel like, what that evokes for you, it's easier to do some other things to help support that feeling, we are taking care of ourselves. Number two, being intentional and clear about expectations and having discussions about that. Not that you're just telling someone, this is what I need, but that you're having a conversation, "This is how I'd like to feel during the holidays. These are some of the things I need." Again, boundary setting. What are some things that you need? So, really being in conversation with the people in your life to get clarity around that and to understand for all parties, how people want to feel and what they need. 

Then, finally, three that may lead to being open to creative solutions, new ideas. Maybe it doesn't have to be the way it's always been when it comes to the holidays. So, how can we have some conversations, how can we get to some new ideas that could help everyone manage their self-care? They can help everyone feel more satisfied and content. They can help everyone find micro-joy during this holiday season. So, I'd love for you to try those things on, I'd love for you to let me know what you think and if you have other ideas. What are your favorite boundaries and how do you care for yourself during the holidays? What does that look like for you? Feel free to respond in an email to me at reinventionrebels@gmail.com. 

I am going to ask you to do me one favor, one simple call to action. If you found this episode helpful, if it's helping you think about your boundaries, and your self-care, and how you can navigate the holidays with more ease, please do me a favor, share this. Share this episode with one or two people who could use some support, who would like to come out of the holidays feeling good about themselves, who might want to expand their thinking about this idea of speaking the truth, setting boundaries, beginning to talk more about what it is they need. Please share this with them. The more people we can help, the more we can all evolve, the better. I mentioned at the beginning, I am a work in progress, so many of us are. So, let's do this cool work together. Let's grow our self-care practices together. Let's work on setting expectations together and share our victories around that too.

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I can't wait to see you next week for another episode. In fact, we'll be wrapping up Season 4 with our best of Season 4 episode. I cannot wait for you to listen. But in the meantime, can I remind you of something? You are amazing. I hope that you keep shining your light, because the world needs you and all that you have to offer.

Hey, rebel, if this episode inspired you to think about what's possible in your life, I'll share a little secret. Any of us can reinvent ourselves no matter where we are in our lives. Any age, any stage, we just have to decide to get started. Here's a super simple way for you to get going with your reinvention dreams. Download my audio, five questions to spark your curiosity, and inspire your reinvention journey. I share five key questions that will spur your thinking, help you uncover your dreams, and motivate you to take action. Because if not now, when? Details in the show notes. Let's get inspired together.

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