Reinvention Rebels

Navigating Midlife Reinvention at 55: Mindset Shifts, Fitness Journeys, and Doing It Scared with Dahlia Douglas-Ingram

April 13, 2023 Wendy Battles/Dahlia Douglas-Ingram Season 5 Episode 9
Reinvention Rebels
Navigating Midlife Reinvention at 55: Mindset Shifts, Fitness Journeys, and Doing It Scared with Dahlia Douglas-Ingram
Show Notes Transcript

55-year young Dahlia Douglas-Ingram has reinvented herself over several years to emerge as an empowered mid-lifer who's inspiring others with her fitness journey on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube.

But that's now how her midlife journey started.

Gripped by shifting hormones and a plethora of perimenopausal symptoms, she found herself both physically and mentally drained. She felt a loss of confidence and was unhappy with her body.

And then she decided it was time to make important changes. 

Those changes have helped transform her life in powerful ways.

And she didn't go it alone, she made healthy changes with a village of supporters - her Reinvention Dream Team.

I love what Dahlia shares in this episode about:

✅ Why it's important to take incremental steps, be mindful of our choices, and offer ourselves grace when we stumble
✅ How she embarked on a fitness journey with the support of her family, a patient trainer, and a community at the gym
✅ Why self-care is so important as we reinvent
✅ How the the power of stillness is key for rediscovering one's purpose in midlife
✅ Why doing it scared is important to personal growth and reinvention

There is so much joy, fun and wisdom in our conversation!

I love Dahlia's empowering fitness journey.

I love the strength she's gained both mentally and physically.

And I love the example she sets about how each of us can find our own midlife groove, however that might look.

She proves that if you're willing to get out there and be open, anything is possible!

Don't miss this episode full of inspiration, motivation, and valuable insights to help you navigate your own reinvention journey.

Connect with Dahlia:

Instagram: @iamdougieing
YouTube: @iamdougieing
TikTok: @iamdougieing

Mentioned in this episode:


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Kick your midlife fears and uncertainty to the curb and start your Reinvention Rebels journey today. Learn about my audio program, Midlife Reinvention From The Inside Out: 8 Essentials to Greenlight Your Life.

Midlife women ready to reinvent themselves start with being curious about what's possible. Download my free audio, 5 Questions to Spark Your Curiosity & Inspire Your Reinvention Rebel Journey to get started today. 

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Thanks for joining me, let's reinvent and get inspired together!

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Your journey is your journey. Your journey is not the same as anybody else's. So put your head down, do the work, and know that you are trying to enjoy this journey, not just trying to get to that size six try, You're trying to build a whole new lifestyle for yourself, and you wanna enjoy it along the way. Welcome to re invention rebels. Stories of brave and unapologetic women fifty to ninety years young. Who have boldly reimagined life on their own terms to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, Wendy Battles. Ready for a dose of inspiration? Let's get to it. Hey, everyone.

0:00:51
Welcome to another episode of the Reinvention rebels podcast. I'm really glad you're here. I'm your host, Wendy, and This is the place to come for information and inspiration to help us as we navigate midlife. I interview amazing women from all different backgrounds and experiences between fifty and ninety that are reinventing. They're figuring it out. They've got fits and starts. They've got challenges. But they're moving forward. Often doing it scared, and we talk about how they are doing it, how they're overcoming the challenges, how they are shining and living their best life. If you are a new listener, I'm so glad you're here and I hope you will soak up the collective wisdom of the women that shared their inspiring, often remarkable reinvention stories.

0:01:47
In a minute, I'm gonna introduce you to my special guest for today's episode who's really, really wonderful, but I wanna check-in about two things before we get there. First, I wanna tell you about something that's coming up in May, between May first and fourth, the Goals with Soul virtual summit. It is an amazing mix of women who are inspired in different ways. Yours truly included for a free summit with all kinds of fan fantastic virtual sessions, I just want you to mark your calendar. It's coming up more information. I'll share more information in coming weeks, but wanted to just start telling you about this now because it's gonna be really fantastic and is free. So I hope that you'll come join me and get inspired with all of us.

0:02:37
Second, I want to check-in and see if you had a chance to listen to last week's episode. Which is such a great precursor to today's episode of my conversation with Delia because I talked a lot about my midlife body. You know, when things change, we're not always happy. But we have to find that happy medium and figure out how we can love ourselves up changes in all. So it was a great episode about that. Plus, I shared my three favorite mid life ish podcasts or at least podcasts I listened to in midlife that are helping me figure it out. So one for information, one for inspiration, and one that is about mindset shifts that are so important as we conquer lots of different things in midlife. So, of course, all the details are in the show notes. I hope you'll take a listen and let me know what you think.

0:03:33
Now, let's get on to my guest today, Dahlia Douglas Ingram. You will love her story. Today, you are in for a special treat. I'm being joined by my Instagram friend, Delia Douglas Ingram, who has a fantastic midlife free invention story that will inspire all of us. She's gonna tell us some of the details, but Deli has done a series of different things in her career, she has now moved on to, among other things, inspiring people about her fitness journey on Instagram, and she is motivating, inspiring, has great ideas, is incredibly authentic, and just shares so authentically about her journey and encourages other people too. Delia Douglas Ingram.

0:04:38
Welcome to the Reinvention Rebel's guest chair. Thank you, Wendy. It's a pleasure to be here. I'm very excited. You know, Delia. I'm not even sure When it was I started following you on Instagram, but all of a sudden I started seeing your posts and videos and you're working now and being super fit in your fifties and I just was inspired by that and thought I would love to know more about you and how this came to be. So you probably can imagine I have a lot of questions for you and I would love to start by asking you to share a summary of your reinvention journey.

0:05:20
What prompted you to reinvent yourself at midlife? You know, before you but you were saying that you don't know how you came up upon me. I think I fangirl do first. I think I can't guarantee you. I I love your I love your podcast, and I binge listened to your podcast for you know, I think that from the beginning, I've what I've listened to every episode. And I started following you, and I'm like, I love her voice. I love her platform, and I love that she gives, you know, midlife and beyond women at place to shine. And I started following you, and I don't know what happens somehow we connected in mutual likes on our posts and things like that, and then we just started to communicate. I that's how it happened. But I think I definitely was the fan girler first. But to answer your question, in regards to my my my reinvention journey.

0:06:16
At the age of forty nine, just a few months shy of my fiftieth birthday, I I started needing to make changes. And the catalyst for that was my struggle, my struggle with perimenopausal symptoms that I had been in a very stressful job for almost twenty five years. At the time, it was twenty years when I started. It was a job that I worked with rotating shifts. And that in itself is very difficult. But when you couple that with perimenopausal symptoms, it just it just became way more difficult calls than I had ever imagined. And so all the things that were manageable for me just became so unmanageable thereafter. I worked as a nine eleven dispatcher. So that in itself just brought its own stresses. And I think that it just started to just climb for me.

0:07:06
And when it comes to the the pyramidal positive symptoms, I was never told that they would be like this. I was told about mood swings. I was told about the hot flashes. No one told me about anxiety. No one told me about loss of confidence. No one told me about insomnia, brain fog, but all of that was just being, you know, brought upon me and at such a pace. Right? So it really kind of caused me to question my abilities. It caused me to I think I started feeling very low because the symptoms were just so bad. And but I realized that the symptoms that were more debilitating for me were the emotional symptoms. Right? And I started feeling a lot weaker than I was comfortable with. I started feeling and I'm not saying weaker physically. I mean, that was in itself. A part of it as well. But the worst part for me was emotional. The emotional. Like, I felt like I needed to build myself back up. So that's when I decided that I wanted to I wanted to heal myself because I realized that I was hurting.

0:08:17
Now one thing that you said that struck me is that you recognize this and that has everything to do with being self aware. Mhmm. You noticed what was going on with you. You noticed the changes, you noticed that you didn't like it, and you also said, I wanna do something about this. I don't like this and I wanna change it. Have I think that where it has to start. For whatever reason, something strikes us and this isn't the way I wanna go or the direction I wanna go. So I appreciate that you had so much self awareness about both physically and mentally, emotionally.

0:08:50
And I didn't start off, you know, the word reinvention. I didn't start off saying, I'm gonna reinvent myself. I started off just wanting to heal. I wanted to I wanted to make that next chapter of my life different. I I figured that at some point, I wasn't feeling as if I I was preparing myself to thrive. When that time came around. And I don't know why fitness became something that I don't know why it popped into my head. I really don't know why it popped into my head. I think that my daughter was talking about feeling strong after working out with a certain trainer, and I thought, yeah, I wanna feel that way. I wanna feel strong again. Now keep in mind that I'd never I had never worked out I'd never had a regular fitness routine.

0:09:40
I led a very sedentary life. Shift work and motherhood and being a wife and just being all things to all people does not facilitate that type of a life. Right? It does not. So this this was a total change for me when you're used to putting everyone first. Putting myself first was just a a new thing, and I I decided that I needed to do that. You know, I think that idea of putting ourselves first is hard for so many women because we do have so many demands, because we feel obligated to, often please. Everybody, how are you able to make that shift? Because that's such so central to you making some changes. How did you, you know, shift your mindset to to be able to have a Delia priority list. You know, this is important for me.

0:10:27
It wasn't without guilt. It wasn't without guilt because when you're a people pleaser and you're used to being the person everyone calls on when they need some thing. You feel guilty when you have to make changes that doesn't accommodate that role. Right? So what I started doing was I let my family know that I am about to embark on something. I'm about to change the way that I live. I'm trying to get healthy. And I wanted I needed their support.

0:10:58
Now my husband and my kids, they were so supportive of me, and my daughter suggested that I call her trainer or text her trainer, and I I did that. And that when he said yes, he would train me. I was so scared. At Wendy, I was so scared because you know when you want something? And but you really don't know if you really want it because you know the hard work that's coming thereafter. That's what happened once you said yes.

0:11:27
And when I left that day to go for the first training session, I was scared, but I knew I needed to do it, and I knew that I needed it was gonna be something that was gonna change my life. I felt it because I was one of those people that would sign up for the gym and have, like, that one year membership. And for the first few weeks, I was going and then they would take my money for the rest of the year because and I wouldn't be going because I just could not stick to any sort of an exercise plan, but there was a desperation in me when I left that day. I was desperate to make changes, and I knew that I needed to start filling my cup because I would have nothing left you know, when my family needed a drink, I could I wouldn't have nothing to pour from. I showed up at that gym and I felt like a fish out of water.

0:12:14
The good thing about it is I have managed to find a trainer, and this person, my daughter's trainer, was someone that was so patient with me and was able to take me from ground zero to not to, like, a hundred. Right? My confidence started to build it took a while, like, just little by little. I didn't even know how to use the machine properly. I remember being on the elliptical machine and a woman came up to me And she said to me, you're making it so hard for yourself. Why are you going backwards? And I said, why I both is I'm not doing it right. She goes, no. You're doing it the wrong way, and she proceeded to show me how to use it. She showed me what level was appropriate for my for my fitness level and what what speed I should try to keep it at. And I was so grateful she was also a midlife woman. And to this day, I still train with her because she was just so awesome and so patient with me.

0:13:06
So for people out there who are just hesitant to put themselves in that type of position, just know that there are people out there, you will find your people who will help you to navigate this. And if for some reason you show up and that's not the place for you, try somewhere else. There's somewhere else that you're that you will feel of belonging. I love what you just said because you're talking a lot about the how. I know that sometimes we think we want something different, but we don't know how to go about doing it. And one of the first things you said is that you enlisted your family. To help you. They were supportive. Your it was your daughter's trainer. That was the catalyst for getting started. Then you found this friend at the gym that helped you along your path And I think part of the how of reinventing ourselves or working toward really any goal is to have what I call your reinvention dream team.

0:13:57
That, you know, you've got your supporters and people that have your back that encourage you, that remind you you can do it even when sometimes you think you can't. Know, that day is a great day, other days aren't. And I appreciate that you had a series of different people from your trainer to your family to front of the gym that have all been part of this journey you've been on in many different ways, and I think that makes a difference. Yeah. It really does make a difference. And, you know, I say that you don't have to have a trainer to start a fitness journey. It just happens to be what worked for me.

0:14:31
I felt that when I made an appointment and I showed up, that's my thing. I need to know where to be, what time to be there, and that's how I get it done. And I I I like having someone to be to feel accountable to. I value his time. So when I go there, I don't have my phone on where I am answering calls. So my family knows that during that time, they're not gonna be able to reach me. Because that is my time. And my daughter, she's always telling me, mom, you earn this. You earn this. And it means so much to me. That they recognize that I think they recognize that I was hurting, and I needed something for me. Yeah. And they were right there with you making you know, how can you make it priority? That's part of what that tells me -- Mhmm. -- is that they honor your boundaries. They know that this is important. They support you. And and I know it's different because your kids are older. It's not like you've got small children, so the needs are very different. So you have created this space to make it so much easier to focus on yourself. But I appreciate that They're right there with you.

0:15:33
And you also said something else that struck me, which is that sometimes it can feel overwhelming. If we haven't been working out if we're not familiar with gyms, it can feel like a foreign place. Yeah. And that it's okay to ask to get help to not know how to use a piece of equipment and ask someone that could help us and that we don't have to feel so intimidated or if we do, we could go to a different gym. To your point. That's right. We could that's right. Mhmm.

0:15:57
And, you know, being at the gym, I think that midlife women I'm just speaking from experience. Like, we get a lot in we can feel intimidated by the younger crowd at the gym. Right? But when you get there, put your head down and know that you're there for you. Right? You realize that choosing yourself means that you're choosing your family. Meaning, choosing to do this for yourself means that you're choosing to do this for your family so that you will be you'll be whole to come home to them.

0:16:24
Put your head down, do the work, and realize that Those people over there that you're worried about are really not even looking at you. You know, they're so busy on their own journeys, do not be intimidated by the younger set. I say that when I show up at the gym, I don't even know who's there. And people at the gym make jokes about it. They go, when Delia works out, we she doesn't even talk to anybody. And it's just it's because I get in the zone, I know what I'm there for. I think in midlife, we are not bothered with the BS. Right? We we've been there done that. We are purposeful. We are showing up at the gym because we're there for a purpose. So let's forget about what everybody might be looking at or who's doing better than the other person. Come don't compare yourself at all. When you get there. Your journey is your journey. Your journey is not the same as anybody else's. So put your head down, do the work, and know that you are trying to enjoy this journey, not just trying to get to that size six dress. You're trying to build a whole new lifestyle for yourself, and you wanna enjoy it along the way. I think that that is key doing it for your self on your own terms, which is what I hear you saying and really making that space.

0:17:41
I'm curious that you've been working on this for a while And what have been the result from when you started and when you, you know, didn't know much about the gym and you hadn't really worked out to now, what are some of the ways that you have changed? Well, I started working out. I guess I should tell you what I actually do or how I started. I started working out three times a week with my trainer. That's one hour sessions. At some point, he started me on trip the treadmill. So he had me just, you know, walking on the treadmill. So it started off as just a walk. Then it went to a little bit of a fast walk. Then it went to a bit of a jog, and then it turned into a little bit of a run. And before he knew it, he was encouraging me to run outdoors. So now I also run outdoors.

0:18:26
And Wendy, I don't run. Running is not my thing. It's never been my thing, but somehow I've developed a love for it. So I do my my gym training. I work out by by running on a regular basis.

0:18:40
But what I've seen and you're asking what's been the changes as well that I've made. There's been so many changes to me, to my self confidence. You know, they say the best outfit you can wear when you walk into a room is confidence, I lost that. And somehow, over the course of the last two years, I've been able to gain that that. Also, it's wasn't just a body thing. It wasn't just a a scale, you know. I I don't even use a scale. The people that follow me on Instagram know, I don't ever talk about weight. Because weight was never my goal. The weight part of it and the weight loss was just the bonus. Right? That just came as an aside to this entire process.

0:19:20
The journey to me was so much bigger than that weight loss. You know, it's funny when I when one day I was in the mirror, it was about maybe a year into this journey. And I was in the bathroom, and I saw something on my stomach and I started to pat it. And I yelled for my husband, I said, you know, Darren, come here. What do you think this thing is? And he looked at me and he said, Delia, that's your abdominal muscles. I was I was shocked. I was like, what? I've never seen those before in my life. But things like that motivated me to continue. So seeing the changes in my body, seeing the the strength in my arms, and just building on each of the little things that my trainer taught me and to be able to actually be on Instagram doing these things, these push up challenges or doing the Burpees in the gym or all of those things. Those are things that I never would have thought that I would be able to do, and they were never in my wheel well at all.

0:20:23
Hey, rebels. I want to take a moment to tell you about a really cool podcast I think you're gonna like, called becoming your best version. I know how much you love the reinvention rebels podcast. That's why I think you're gonna like this one too. Maria, Leonard Olson is the host. She has all kinds of inspiring guests on. I'm honored to say that I'm gonna be one of her upcoming guests in June.

0:20:51
She is really interesting. She's a lawyer, journalist author. She works to amplify women's voices. And really share about their lives, their work, and important life lessons to inspire all of us. In, she's super smart. She graduated from Boston College and the University of Virginia law school. She worked in the Clinton Justice Department and is also a civil litigation attorney in Washington DC. Plus, she wrote a super cool book called fifty after fifty, reframing the next chapter of your life. So you know she's helping all kinds of women, just like me, helping them rediscover, tune in, grow and expand. She's also done a really cool TEDx talk and she is just interesting with a very cool podcast. I hope you'll take a listen. You can check it out at maria Leonard Olson dot com, and the details are in the show notes.

0:21:53
It's amazing what's possible when we take it step by step. Mhmm. And instead of saying, I'm gonna, like, lose x number of pounds and do whatever, but when we just kinda get to one goal and then we grow from there. Yeah. It feels like it sets us up for much more success. Mhmm. Then when we sometimes have a very lofty goal that isn't necessarily realistic, it might be in our mind, but then when we get down to it, we maybe we give up or or we don't. But I appreciate that you had success. And then you went on to your next one.

0:22:27
When I went into this, I realized it was not gonna be a short term solution. I realized that this was a lifestyle change for me and a lifestyle change means for the rest of my life. It does not mean that I after about a year, I go back to eating processed foods and, you know, sitting on the couch with chips. Or whatever. Like, it does not mean that. It means changing your life because unless you look at it as a lifestyle change, it will not be sustainable for you. It has to be and it has to be incremental too.

0:23:01
You can't just go cold turkey. I understand that some people do that where they say I'm never eating a piece of cake again. I'm just gonna eat one on my birthday. No. Eat what you need to eat in moderation. Just be very mindful. Be mindful of what you are putting in your body. Be mindful of your portions. And just know that we are human beings and we do make mistakes. So if you make a mistake, if you call it a mistake and you eat in something that you feel, oh my goodness, I must have had like a gazillion calories here. Who cares? Move on. That has passed. Do not let it be the sabotage where you're gonna go back and just be be so down on yourself. Just continue.

0:23:44
Everyone that you see on Instagram that's showing that they're eating clean and they're doing this and doing that. They all have their days where they're off the wagon, but you just don't you just don't see that. So just realize that you're human and you just have to get yourself grace. If yourself grace, do not be hard on yourself. Your journey, if you want to reinvent yourself when it comes to fitness, your journey is gonna be full of ups and downs. And just roll with it, and just keep picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and moving on. That's really great advice especially the idea of offering ourselves grace because I think women especially are we're very hard on ourselves.

0:24:25
We can beat ourselves up and starting fresh by reinventing ourselves in whatever way we're doing that, whether it's fitness wise or career wise or something else, is a great time for a do over in our thinking and our mindset and offering ourselves more grace and opportunity to -- Mhmm. Sometimes fail and then start again because I also think that there is so much wisdom in our failures. Or if we fall off the wagon, then maybe we learn well next time I'm gonna do it a little differently. So there's always possibility I believe in even if we fail. Yeah. But, you know, they say it's not a mistake. It's a lesson. Right?

0:25:01
And the beautiful thing about this life is that we get to renew, we get to rest, we get to refocus we get to rejuvenate. So that is and that's what I love about your podcast because it talks about your reinvention. We are made for that. We are made to evolve. The world is evolving, and we have to evolve with it. So it is just a it's a process. You're not gonna be static. It's we are all changing. We all have that opportunity to renew and to refocus. Absolutely. And I always remember too that there's no limit on how many times we can reinvent ourselves. We can dude as many times as we want to when, you know, we we feel inspired. So I appreciate that, you know, us being in our fifties is just the beginning, at least the beginning of the second half of our life, and it can be filled with as many possibilities. Mhmm. As we want. As we want. And, you know, I can see you thinking, Wendy.

0:25:54
But, you know, being the in the second chapter, who wants to be on the sidelines? I know I don't. I want to I want to live fully. I want to do things that I didn't get the opportunity to do in my younger years because of life, because of family, because of everything, because of career. Now, you have the second chance, but the way to be able to maneuver this second part of life is through self care. Self care to me, I know they weren't as thrown around quite a bit. Melodies, but it is very important word, especially in midlife. And for women who, like I mentioned before, was a pyramid of symptoms. The best way I know how to counteract those is self care. Right? That second half navigating that, you have to be willing to put yourself first. And there's no no there's no shame in that, and there is no no need for guilt. Because when you choose yourself, you're choosing your family.

0:26:55
The second chapter, I'm so excited to see where I go from here. I I'm being given an opportunity that I've never had before and that stillness. I haven't had a chance to be still and be present with myself and get to know myself the way that I have for the last few months. So I'm just I'm just so excited for what the future holds for me in this next chapter. I'm excited to and you know I talk a lot on the podcast about the power of stillness getting quiet -- Mhmm.

0:27:29
-- slowing down that when we offer ourselves that opportunity and that space as you're doing, we can uncover a lot of inner wisdom. Yeah. You do. No. You can rediscover your purpose in stillness. You can rediscover your purpose in stillness. And I don't know any better way to do it than that. I know that when the time comes, something will speak to me. And if I continue to if I I know as mentioned before, I don't know if I mentioned at the start that I I recently retired from my job as a nine zero one dispatcher after twenty five years. Right now, I'm learning the art of stillness, and it's such a beautiful thing. Because it doesn't mean I'm just gonna sit down and not do anything. It just means that I'm allowing my mind to be at rest so that I can fight the things in that might be feeding my soul in the second half of my life. And that is what I'm I'm in the process of trying to do right now. It's a new thing for me and is to learn behavior, so I'm learning. I'm trying to learn it because I've never had that never had that opportunity before. It seems like a luxury, I guess.

0:28:36
And we have to think that this second half for us as women especially this is a chance for us to be who we didn't get a chance to be when we were younger. And I'm just speaking from experience here. Absolutely right. I think all that you're saying is so spot on, slowing down, tuning in, and being open to all kinds of possibilities. It doesn't necessarily have to be, well, I think I'm gonna do this because -- Mhmm. -- sometimes that still must lead us in ways we don't expect. Or maybe is bigger and juicier than we might have thought it could be. So your idea of living with less limits or more limitless is intriguing in midlife.

0:29:20
Because I think for so many women, we have we have been in these boundaries. The family boundaries, marriage boundaries, career boundaries, whatever they might be, it's different for everyone, but Most of us have felt some degree of I'm obligated to do all these things, and it almost feels strange to have more space and openness. Yes. And, you know, I wanted to touch on to your the whole do it scared thing. I just love that term. Because I think that for us, we get just like you said, we get put ourselves in the box, the family box, and all of that. But And when it's time to step out, we're scared. And it's a big step. Right? So we have to realize that the butterflies that we feel everyone has that. And the butterflies are normal. The butterflies, though, are what fuels you. The butterflies will fuel you to get to that next step. Right?

0:30:16
When I lace up to goal for a run, I have butterflies. When I lace when I lace up to to goal walking with my with my husband, I don't have butter flies. But when I when I wake up to go for a run when I wake up to go for a run, I have butterflies. When I step out to go for a training session and I walk into that gym, I somehow still get butterflies. Right? But for the years that I worked as a nine one one dispatcher, as I drove to work, I thought butterflies. But those butterflies fueled me to do some of my best work. It fueled me to do some of my my the work that I'm the most proud of And so that was career wise or in my personal life. I use butterflies as fuel.

0:30:56
That is that that when I feel that thing in the pit of my stomach, I know I'm doing the right thing. I love that. When you feel that pit in the in the bottom of your stomach, you know you're doing the right thing because often it feels like you get that feeling which doesn't feel good generally and butterflies in the stomach and you wanna run away or run the other direction. Yeah. I'd really appreciate what you just said. That you know you're on the right track when you get that feeling and yes, so much of this is unknown. It's new.

0:31:26
Reinventing yourself is all about something new and different, and it is so easy to be scared or nervous or unsure, which I totally get because I've been that way before. But I also have spent many different occasions leaping and just not knowing where it was gonna I was gonna land, but I trusted it was gonna work out So I was willing to do it scared. I was willing to try it. And I hear you saying something very similar. You know, I it's it's a it's a learned especially those learn behavior, but this embracing fear for me and embracing It's not embracing fear, but more embracing change. Let's just call it embracing change. Right? I have been doing the same thing for so long. And they say, instead of he's doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I have been embracing change. And I found that joy was on that other side of that. When I pushed through and I embraced change and I pushed through that fear, I found joy. And that's how it has been with my fitness journey with coming out on Instagram and doing these things and posting these things.

0:32:34
I would have never thought. If you told my twenty year old self that I would be doing something like that, she would laugh at you and say, which daylier are you talking about? Because that's never been me. I'm I was always an introvert. I was never someone that liked to be on display in any way, but it was just about wanting to do something different. And in the process, I found Joy and I found a community. I found a community.

0:33:01
Community is so important in this equation. What does being part of a community do for you and help you? How and what way does that help you? You know, being part of a community, it's inspirational for me because they say they find inspiration in me, but there's so many of the people that I have on Instagram that follow me and I follow back that they inspired me so much. They're people in midlife that are starting business new businesses starting from scratch. They are traveling on their own, starting after losing a partner. Or they are just trying to embark on fitness journeys themselves. There's so many inspirational women that are part of that community of midlife women on Instagram that are uplifting each other on a daily basis.

0:33:51
I found that when I was in my twenties, I didn't feel that com that that community with the, I guess, the people in the same age group. I didn't feel that community with the people in the same age group in my twenties. I don't know if we were just also busy that we never looked at each other or tried to uplist each other. But the community of midlife women, both in real life and on social media for me have been such Like, it's been like a godsend to me. They uplift me. They will pray for me. They send me a message if they haven't heard from me for a little bit to see if I'm okay. They ask me to do things like this, like being on a podcast, like Wendy did. And it's been wonderful because they say, you know, the best way to gain strength for women to gain strength is to lift another woman up. And all these women lift me up. They lift me up on a daily basis, and I try to do the same thing for them. Think that is so key.

0:34:46
This idea of community and being uplifted. I completely agree with you, Delia, and I especially felt way during the pandemic when we were also isolated, so it was hard to see our friends that we know we used to see in person, and it was such a an amazing extension of community to build this community online. And -- Mhmm. -- as you said, to connect with people that could be anywhere in the world, but it's amazing the commonalities we have across all kinds, you know, all kinds of differences, or you can be so connected to someone that you've only met online, maybe you haven't ever seen them in person, but have a really deep connection with them. And it reminds me that community is wherever we create it to be. It could be online in person, a hybrid version of that. And I think that's exciting as we grow in midlife that we can grow our our tribe. Mhmm. And, you know, the pandemic has been terrible for us all. But if they there's one positive that I can draw from, it's the sense of community that was built out of necessity.

0:35:53
Really during this pandemic because a lot of us would not have reached out as much as we did if we were not so isolated. Especially, you know, for people who are not naturally outgoing or naturally extroverted. Right? This pandemic allowed communities to form, and you can see that throughout this pandemic, you could see little communities forming on Instagram, and it was a beautiful And people started to realize that we have more in common than we do differences. Right? And so that's been wonderful. And the community of people on Instagram that it's it's not just about liking videos. It's about just that way to go girl that's sending you that little weightable girl message that just makes your day and you just try you try to do it in return. It makes all of the difference And it's always surprising to see that we have more cheerleaders than we think. We have all these people pulling for us. Mhmm. And as you said, in turn, we encourage people as well And that feels good because so many people are still isolated after their pandemic and struggling. So I feel grateful for this really strong community that we have. And it also reminds me that we all have the ability to find our tribe wherever that might exist, whether it's online, in person, you know, whatever whatever that might be.

0:37:16
But sometimes, it just takes a while to find your people. You have to sometimes do a little searching to find those people that have your back that encourage you. Not the naysayers that are like, really tell you. Do you really think we can do that? Really delicate. You're really doing a push up challenge. You're in your twenties for half the states. You're a grandmother. What are you doing? So, yeah. Yeah. I it's important to find that tribe of people that that support you.

0:37:41
I love the community that I found, and I would never have thought in my wildest dreams that I would have found a group of people that actually needed what to hear what I had to say. And I was just floored because, I mean, I do my little morning motivations and things like that. But I didn't realize that people were reading it and were feeding on that and, like, getting so much out of my little birds in the morning or putting that little skip in their steps. When they when they read them and it puts that little skip in their step going out the door that morning, it brings me so much joy because I didn't realize it was doing that for people until people would reach out to me to tell me. I had no idea. I was just trying to heal myself through giving myself positive thoughts in the morning.

0:38:34
First thing in the morning, I do a little good morning motivation on Instagram. And it was for me. It was to let me be able to leave my house in a good frame of mind when I'm going to drive for an hour to work and deal with unforeseen these circumstances that I have no control over, but I wanted to at least start with that little bit of positivity. And to know that other people were if that it resonated without of people. That that meant so much to me. And I it was it encouraged me to keep going and to keep posting them. And so I'm so happy that people find inspiration in the the words that I I put out there in the mornings.

0:39:12
I do. I love it. And I love when you post flowers, these beautiful flowers, and then you write some in aspiring or uplifting message. That's a great thing to see first thing in the morning to set the tone for the day. I love it. Well, they call me Delia. Right? So I have to do flowers. Right. You know, my mother didn't name me Delia for now. But I love flowers. I I find the beauty, such beauty in nature, and flowers has been something that always brought my mood up. So I decide whenever I would see a beautiful one, I would take pictures. So I have all these beautiful pictures of some unique flowers, some not so unique, but every pick is so different and just so so intricate. So I like to post them so that I can share it with the online community. It's really wonderful.

0:40:02
As we are starting to wrap up, I would like to ask you about your reinvention journey one last time. If you to give it a theme. What would that be? Well, I would say it would be strengthening mind and body. One push up at a time. Because push ups are something that I think I'm known for, but push ups just make me feel strong. They give me that mood boost. And my trainer always says to me that you always do normal push ups. You never try to do the modified anymore. Is because I get such a prompt from, you know, just doing something like that because I couldn't even do a regular push up when I started. So in the process of strengthening mind and body, that pushup helped me do that because that pushup gave me my confidence back those push ups made me feel that I had something to offer. I was still strong. I was still vital. It's amazing what Movement and physical fitness can do to your mind, can do to your emotions, and that is what has helped me all along this journey. So the strength, mind and body, strength. That's powerful. Strengthening your mind and body one push up at a time. Oh, that is inspiring. Okay. And, you know, your journey reminds me hearing how it unfolded how you gathered your supporters, how you took it one step at a time, how it evolved slowly, and you got stronger, and one thing led to the next reminds me that if you can do that, if you can strengthen your body and your mind in midlife, that all of us can find our own version of that, of feeling strong in body and mind, and it might not look exactly like yours because girl, I just can't run I've got baddies and I would love to be a runner too. I would just love that, but I'm also gonna make that's okay. There's many other things that I can do and so think it's all just finding the right fit for each of us. And your story reminds us that it is possible to find our people, to find what works for us, to grow and blossom, Delia. Blossom. Yeah. And I I get that. Very good, Wendy. That we can blossom in really amazing ways. So I I just really Well, before we go though, I have to ask you.

0:42:26
How can people find you? I know you got your Instagram followers that are already listening to this, but so many people that don't know you until now are going to want to follow you and get inspired by you, where can they find you? Well, I'm mostly on Instagram because that's the capacity that I have right now is Instagram. So I'm at I am Doug Ying on Instagram. I've also started TikTok, which it's a very new thing for me, but I am on TikTok Same thing. I am Doug Ying, and I'm on YouTube. I post some of my shorts, some of my my short videos on YouTube, and I'm I'm done be in there as well. So it's very easy to find me. And whether you if you're on Instagram, send me a message, send me a DM if have a question about my journey. I'm more than happy to share. That's wonderful. Thank you. And we will link to all of those social media site in the show notes so people can easily find you and and connect with you. Debbie, I cannot thank you enough for gracing me with your presence, for sharing your inspiring story for reminding us that anything is possible. Thank you. Well, thank you, Wendy. It's been a pleasure. I appreciate it.

0:43:41
Kay rebels wasn't That awesome. Didn't you love what Delia had to say? The journey she went on. The fits and starts but how she went from not being happy with where she was in midlife, both physically and mentally too. Really being on fire, but you heard about the work it took. It wasn't an overnight magic kind of thing. She put the work in. She made the changes. She shifted her mindset. And I wanna suggest to you that that's possible for all of us, of course, in our own unique ways. But no matter where we are, we can carve out our own path too if we so choose.

0:44:23
And one of the things that I love that she talked about is this idea of doing it scared that she had one of those moments where she was doing it scared or maybe a lot of moments. And I think that's true for many of us. It's not always easy to do this work. In fact, it's often very, very difficult to peel back the layers and uncover things. And go a little deeper to figure out what we want to do. What we're meant to do. Our unique path So I love this idea of doing it scared. If this piqued something in you, I wanna encourage you to download my Do it scare cheat sheet because I've got some great questions in there for you that will help you think about your own reinvention journey. So check that out in the show notes. I'm really looking forward to seeing you back here next week for another episode. And please keep shining your light the world needs you and all that you have to offer.

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