Reinvention at 70: Purpose, Persistence & Positivity with Barbara Healy

What does purposeful living look like to you as you age? 

Are you living with intention? Are your mission and vision crystal clear? Can you boldly reinvent yourself as many times as you like?

Barbara Healy says yes to all these questions! This extraordinary, 70-year young Reinvention Rebel lives with intention and purpose, using courage as a catalyst to propel her forward.

She has created a thriving life she loves full of purpose and possibility. Along the way, she’s reinvented herself many times over,  across multiple decades.

She’s still doing that in her 70s and she has an empowering, positive story to tell that can’t help but motivate you to reflect on your own life and what’s possible.

A story that demonstrates we can reinvent ourselves at any age or any stage. 

A reinvention story that’s inspiring, motivating, and helps us see that if Barbara can do it, any of us can do it too. 

I love what Barbara shares about:

• The power of having a personal mission to guide you
• The 3 questions she asks herself every morning to live purposefully
• How lifelong learning has fueled her many reinventions
• How studying positive psychology helped her see new possibilities in her 60s
• How we can create resilience as we age – it’s possible for any of us
• What she does to shift into her “best life” mindset
• And so much more!

As with most things, the path hasn’t always been clear. She has struggled just like the rest of us to figure out her path and purpose. She’s also someone who’s enthusiastically dived into self-inquiry to uncover the answers that have shaped her current path.

All that self-reflection has lead to deep joy and satisfaction. And the notion that her many reinventions have helped her uncover the power of purpose, persistence, and positivity as she ages.

I know you’ll love this episode, it’s deeply empowering to any of us at any age. Universal lessons and wisdom that I know will resonate with you.

Mentioned in this episode:

• Rocky Powell, host of Wild Nights with Rocky Powell podcast. Looking for something to make you laugh?  Check this out. There are so many podcast-hidden gems and this indie podcaster keeps me in stitches.

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Your feedback means everything to me! If you enjoyed this episode please rate and review on Apple Podcasts,  Podchaser, Castbox or leave a comment at reinventio

Kick your midlife fears and uncertainty to the curb and start your Reinvention Rebels journey today. Learn about my audio program, Midlife Reinvention From The Inside Out: 8 Essentials to Greenlight Your Life.

Midlife women ready to reinvent themselves start with being curious about what's possible. Download my free audio, 5 Questions to Spark Your Curiosity & Inspire Your Reinvention Rebel Journey to get started today. 

Transcript

Barbara (0s): I've learned how to have courage over the years, which is another thing that I bring to my practice. Not doing things that you really want is usually because you're fearful and we all fear so much, but we don't identify it necessarily as fear. And so I've had to learn how to have courage. And I think that that's what it takes. And so continuously learning and putting yourself out in the world and doing what I tell my clients all the time when I give them field work. 

And they're like, I can't do that. And I'm like, well, you can try to do that if you want to. And the thing about it is fake it till you make it. And I really believe in that 

Wendy (51s): Welcome to Reinvention Rebels Stories of unapologetic women, 50 to 90 years young that will boldly reimagine life on their own terminals to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, Wendy Battles, ready for a dose of inspiration. Let's get to it. Hello. Hello. Hello, amazing listeners. 

Welcome to the Reinvention 

Wendy (1m 23s): Rebels podcast. I am so happy that you are joining me today. And I am really excited about my guest is a friend of mine, Barbara Healy, who at 70 years young is pretty darn amazing. We're going to talk to her and I'll share our interview in a few moments, but I do want to say that I am so happy that you're here. As you know, Reinvention Rebels really was started to inspire women 50 to 90 to really showcase what some amazing women are doing to reinvent themselves as inspiration for other women. 

But the reality is so many people are listening that aren't even 50 to 90 and women, all kinds of listeners from all different backgrounds and experiences, men and women, people in all different age ranges. And the reality is that the topics we talk about are really universal. And it's also true that you can reinvent yourself at any age or any stage. So I'm saying all that to say, I am so glad that you were here with me today before we get started. And I introduced Barbra. 

I want to share out a brief review from Rocky and Rocky has awesome. And I just wanted to take a moment first to tell you about Rocky because Rocky has an awesome podcast and I love to give a high five to other independent podcasters. She's got a great podcast called wild nights with Rocky Powell. And if you're looking for a hysterical laugh out loud podcast, that will bring you joy. 

You got to check out and I've linked to it in the show notes for easy access. But this is what Rocky sad about. Reinvention, Rebels, inspiring and insightful. The host is great at getting her guests to feel comfortable, being their most authentic selves and inspired podcasts for listeners at any age, which goes to show you again and what we were just talking about any age or any stage. So Rocky, thank you so much. I really appreciate your living that review. 

And I invite all of you to write a brief review at apple podcasts because it makes it much easier for people to find the podcast. You know, there's the two main podcasts in the world, so they're hard to find. So I really appreciate that so much. All right, so let's get down to my guest today. I'm so excited and we had the best conversation about resilience, staying healthy tuning into our mission and our vision as we navigate life. 

And so many other things. So for your listening pleasure, 

Wendy (4m 30s): The guest today, Barbara Healy is a dear friend 

Wendy (4m 34s): Or a former colleague. Even my former boss. She's also someone who knows people. She gets people. And as the trusted advisor, executive coach and facilitator, she helps people show up and shine their brightest lights with over 30 years of experience across industries, spanning startups, mid-stage fortune 500 giant and nonprofits Barbara guides leaders to take their impact to the next level at any stage of development, her proven strength in facilitating and coaching individuals to become better leaders think more strategically, create high performing teams, advance future engaged cultures, and deliver powerful presentations at multiple conferences, organizations and associations nationally has earned her praise as a game changer while she's worked in the range of organizations over the years, this 70 year young Reinvention Rebel has happily reinvented herself in a new way that works for her. 

She has found immense joy and satisfaction as a small business owner. This lifelong learner and vibrant, active Seoul has found for Reinvention sweet spot, finding an energizing and engaging balance between work and family. She embodies the idea that we can unapologetically reimagine life thrive and create meaningful connections. As we age Barbara Healy. 

Welcome to the Reinvention Rebels guest chair. 

Barbara (6m 23s): Thank you, Wendy. It's a pleasure to be here with you tonight. 

Wendy (6m 27s): I am excited and we go way back Barbara to the nineties, 

Barbara (6m 33s): We have known each other for, I'm guessing we're about 25 years. Wow. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it doesn't make me feel like, well, we are getting old, but in the best possible way. No, no. And the fact that we can stay connected is what's like so important, you know, 

Wendy (6m 53s): It is. And I'm just delighted that you're joining me to be in conversation about this idea of Reinvention at any age and any stage. And you are a great example of that. So I've got a host of questions to ask you and you know, we, or our listeners, even though this podcast is focused on women, 50 to 90, we have listeners of all ages and stages, men and women, all kinds of interesting people because of the things we talk about are very universal. 

So I know that you're going to inspire a lot of people today. So I would like to start Barbara and think about this. I was, I've been detailing how many times I reinvented myself in my life, including my most recent one has a podcast host. And you have been there for many 

Barbara (7m 46s): Of my Reinvention over the years. I 

Wendy (7m 49s): Know you know them very well. Oh, and I know that you've reinvented yourself many times also. I think that's really true for so many women. That's often just what we do. Not, that's not true for men too, but women or creative, we like to change it up and find what really inspires us. So I'd love to know about how you reinvented yourself recently. How old were you and how did that unfold in your and your most recent Reinvention? I 

Barbara (8m 18s): Would have to say that as an older person, that I reinvented myself at the age of 56. And, and then continuously since then, and particularly again, when I was 64 and now living in a new area, doing what I'm doing now, it's really long story, but I have to give you some context, which will explain how, how I think anyone can continuously reinvent themselves. 

So I'll tell you a few things. I I'm going to go back a little bit. I doing some work. I was working for a modeling agency and my very early twenties and, and I went to university, a big university. And then to the fashion Institute of technology got married to my hippie boyfriend and was divorced only a year later invention. And then I, I, with my fashion Institute, I worked in retail and, and realized that I can only do something that I'm really passionate about and it wasn't there for me. 

So I decided to go get tested with a company called John Johnson O'Connor and they test aptitudes. They're still in business. They've been in business for probably a hundred and something years. And what, what they figure out and help you figure out is what are your natural abilities? So right away, I understood that. Being able to coach people into learning about themselves was going to be a really big part of my life in some way, shape or form. 

They told me that I had a real aptitude for healthcare, music and healthcare. Now I wasn't doing either one and healthcare. Well, I'm not going to be a nurse because I fainted the sight of blood. I know that syndrome that some women have. And I actually do think that this will literally, and they really understand that your aptitudes or so important, because you can have the same aptitudes at the age of 70 that you had when you were 20, which is I think something for, for people to really keep in mind when they think about it. 

I decided since they showed me that healthcare was going to be an aptitude, that I was going to go on a journey to figure out how to get into healthcare. And I scored high on inductive reasoning, but very low on structural visualization. So I wasn't apt to go back to school and take anatomy courses. Geometry was never my favorite. That's just horrible. The two, I actually took the position in San Francisco at a hospital St. 

Francis hospital as the marketing director. And you have to laugh if you think back to 1982, and for all your listeners that are listening, there was nothing called healthcare marketing in 1982. And the doctors that I worked for thought that my job was to look through the telephone book and the cold call. So anyway, yeah, I was still excited to be there because I was passionate about what they were doing, that they were making a contribution. 

And I moved from there to work in wellness and prevention very early on for a company called Staywell. And I started teaching facilitated training, and then they also have self-training and they also sold executive physicals for executives and companies. And I would try to sell to hospitals and to executives. So I started meeting with a lot of CEO's and the CEOs wanted to know all of the data on why they should pay for preventative health for their employees. 

And there was no data then. So again, it was a very progressive thing I was doing, and it was a real uphill battle, but I moved from there to when I moved to the Seattle area to working in one of the very first, if not the first HMO's, and then it became a PPO and I didn't enjoy it. And I said, well, I love healthcare. Why am I not passionate about this? So I went, and this is an important lesson to and sought out my mentor, one of my mentors and, and one of them who I spoke to was a, an administrator, a CEO at a hospital. 

And he said, Barbara, the reason that you're not excited about what you're doing is that HMO's on PPIs are really just about the money and it's not about the patient anymore. And I went, wow, that's why it's not working for me. So after that, I learned lesson learned, not all of healthcare is about passion and helping others. So I kind of took a little drift and I, I founded and became an, an executive director of the nonprofit, helping children in school, children that were at risk. 

And I got a lot of satisfaction out of it. And again, I was there with my passion and moved and, and then I went to work for a small consulting firm in new Haven, which you may remember when, or where I met you, or, 

Wendy (13m 46s): Oh, I recall something like that way back in the past, 

Barbara (13m 51s): I took a job and at a regional bank and I became the vice president of corporate learning and development. Okay. Lesson learned I'm in the whole system and I don't like it. I was not loving the corporate world. I didn't feel the passion again. And so I left about 10 years later. So sometimes lesson learned can 

Wendy (14m 13s): Take a long time. I can, but I always feel like those things, like how to help us along our path though, that even though right, sometimes it is the experience and it being painful or uncomfortable, or we don't like them ultimately, but that down the road, I can see how something like that has helped me ultimately. Well, 

Barbara (14m 32s): I think that really, really important point. And that's what happened when I went to the bank and ended up really helping me and my Reinvention as an older woman now. And I also went back to school while I was working for the non-profit and has two children that I think like seven and nine years old. And I was working, full-time went back to get my masters degree. And I can't tell you how many times I thought I can't do this. This is too much. I'm just not going to do it again. 

I forced myself to stay with it. And it helped later again, that's so much a part of sometimes doing things that aren't exactly right. But just remember, no, 

Wendy (15m 14s): I also think that just to say this, that this notion of, I think I can't do it, but I'm going to keep doing it. That idea of persistence is really important because I think that sometimes I've given up on things or it felt too hard, maybe I felt like I didn't want to connect to it so fully. So I think that there's something to be said, especially when it comes to Reinvention this idea of persistence, but I'm going to, I'm gonna not just to give up really quickly, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna go a little further and maybe it doesn't mean, you know, maybe I have to tell myself, I need to just go a little further and keep going, and then a little further than that. 

So I think that mindset is a really important part of reinventing ourselves 

Barbara (15m 59s): I do to, and it's amazing cause I actually, that, that you picked the word persistence because I say that that's my middle name now is persistence. And as a child, I, if I didn't like doing something, that's all I wanted to do was leave it. And sometimes I would, and I have just become the most persistent person. And I do think that that's a lifelong lesson for folks. And I also think in order to feed that persistent, it's really important to always have a personal vision in mission. 

And when I first started doing that and I was not even at the M non-profit yet I, that was, I just made it up. I'm like, I want to be working in a profit, nonprofit, helping children. And I want to bring up my kids to a certain way. And I went on and on and on. And I used to look at it every day. I had it in my notebook, it was written that, and then I put it away and I forgot about it. And several years later I found it and it was, I had achieved everything that was in that vision. 

So as you know, I, with my coaching and my leadership development that I do with folks now, I really offer to my clients to have a personal leadership, vision and mission. And I think that helps with tying it back to persistence because then you have something to measure it against. Exactly. So you're saying, oh, well, do I want to leave the bank? Well, it turned out that I wanted to leave the bank. 

I was getting sick. I was having asthma attacks. I don't ever do that. I was having heart palpitations. I'm like, okay, you also have to listen to the universe. And what's the universe saying to, and was it feeding my values that were in my vision and mission? No. So yeah, 

Wendy (17m 55s): I think that is so important to tune into this idea. And I know that there's lots of different ways to kind of get to that. I'm kind of curious for you when it came to your vision and mission, was it something that you just came to you out of the blue? Was it something that you noodled over for a while, or is it something that you kind of wrote about every day for a while? Like how intentional were you about the process of kind of creating that vision and mission way back? 

I was 

Barbara (18m 25s): Intentional because I had done so much studying in the leadership arena and I had come across Stephen Covey. For those of you listening, who may have read the seven habits of highly effective people, which has a very old book. And I still use parts of that book in my practice. And one of the things that he taught me through that book was to always have a personal mission. And I said, you know, I'm going to try that. And yes, I tried to be very thoughtful and intentional. 

It took me a while to write it in, particularly then to get a, down to something or just easy breezy or that you can re, you know, look at often and remember. And I think that that is a really important thing for, for all of us and then to redo it on a regular basis because things change. However, if you mix it with your strengths and your aptitudes, and I knew what my aptitudes were, then you can continue to redo it. 

That's part of reinventing yourself to go back to what your passion and your aptitudes and natural talents are, and then have a vision about where you want to be in your life. 

Wendy (19m 38s): Yeah. And I think that says so much about, you know, things change over time and the things that we might be passionate about, even if maybe you had the same aptitudes, right. That can last a lifetime. We, our passions may change. So this notion of I'm going to kind of step back every so often really think about my life holistically and kind of assess where am I at or what what's inspiring me right now is what's inspiring me as I'm older, different than when I was 40 or 50. 

Right. Cause I think that certainly our, obviously our circumstances change right. In whatever way that that may manifest. So I really like the intentionality of what you're doing and how you've weaved this through this idea of multiple reinventions. 

Barbara (20m 27s): And, you know, then where I took it was I started my business and left the bank when I was 56. And I've always, I've always thought of myself as a late bloomer, which has also, I think kind of a nice way to think about yourself because then you're can be 90 and you're S you're still blooming <inaudible>. And at 64, I was beginning to feel a little stuck. And so what I did was I decided I needed to go do something really different to get myself, keep myself motivated. 

And so I took a year and study positive psychology. I got certified in positive psychology with a Harvard professor through Kripalu. And it was something that was life changing for me. So at 64, I'd say, I began to reinvent myself again. And part of what we did, I could talk to you for, you know, a year about it. But part of what we did was also be very intentional about writing our stories again, redoing our mission basically. 

And any way positive psychology is based on a real science. So it's the art and science of personal wellness, resilience, leadership. And it's not about being happy all the time, but we won't get into all of that. Right? 

Wendy (21m 55s): So like you, like, this is something I would expect from you because one of the things that I know about you is that you're a lifelong learner and that you are passionate about having new experiences, learning new things, meeting new people, expanding, you know, sort of your boundaries. And it just seems like that is very fitting eye. And I also think that, you know, when we're aging, which obviously is happening to all of us, that sometimes our world is getting smaller, true people, right? 

People we love pass away, or maybe we're less physically able to do what we often took for granted. That's just sort of how we are. And that, I think that that's the hard emotionally to contend with. So if we have this idea of expansion and that's what I hear you really saying, that I I'm an expansive person 

Barbara (22m 53s): Expansive, as well, as you mentioned, the continuous learning is I've learned how to have courage over the years, which is another thing that I bring to my practice. And that is that not doing things that you really want, if you have the ability to do it. And you don't always is usually because you're fearful. Yes. And we all fear so much, but we don't identify it necessarily as fear. 

And I was a very anxious, fearful child adolescent, even in my twenties, I was like that. And so I've had to learn how to have courage. And I think that that's what it takes. And so continuously learning and putting yourself out in the world and doing what I tell my clients all the time when I give them field. And they're like, I can't do that. And I'm like, well, you can try to do that if you want to. And the thing about it is fake it till you make it. 

And I really believe in that. I really think I never used to be able to do public speaking at all. I'd get up and my hands would shake and my voice would shake, et cetera, et cetera. And so I just did it over and over and over again. And that's how you get through the fear. Yeah. 

Wendy (24m 13s): I think that's so true. I think that courage builds confidence and, and it's definitely scary to do things that feel uncomfortable. Right? Whatever those, and I know it's different for everyone. We all have our fears or the things that make us like, no, this is hard. I'd rather not. But I think though that on the other side of that one, we can muster up that courage. Yes. And when we can see some positive results, even if it's baby steps in that direction, then that for me reinforce is okay, Wendy is not as crazy as he thought, but the idea or whatever this idea was that you might have, and you can do that podcast on iTunes. 

Although interestingly, like I didn't feel scared about that. I didn't, I didn't, I, I, I, for some reason I felt very courageous. Like it was just what I was meant to do. I felt very much like, and it's interesting because so many things I've done with fear, that idea that you're talking about out of this fear and not feeling so courageous and then getting more courage as you go. But this is something that for me, I don't know why maybe because I feel like it's my mission because like you, I feel like a late bloomer. 

And literally it took me to 54 to F to figure out like, what am I here to do? What am I here on this earth to do? And I always looked enviously at people that new early on. I was like, how come? I don't even know the thirties and forties. I still kept thinking, what does that I'm meant to do? Because I don't think this has it. And not that I didn't like the jobs I had or I wasn't good at them, but it definitely was not what I came here for. 

Barbara (25m 54s): And, and I'll tell you, I know this isn't a coaching session, but I just have to say that knowing you for as many years as I know, and the things that you have done that this really is a great combination of all of your strengths and aptitude, aptitudes, and talents. So there you go. 

Wendy (26m 13s): Hey, amazing listeners. Are you feeling a little social? Come join me on social media for a big dose of inspiration. You'll find me on Instagram at Reinvention Rebels, same thing on Facebook. And also I'm on Twitter at rebels. Re-invent I look forward to seeing you soon 

Barbara (26m 40s): When I went back to school, when my kids were young and I, and I was working as a executive director of the nonprofit, I went back to school in organizational development systems and whole systems design. So how do you look at a system the whole, you know, holistically? So when I used to get assignments that where I was consulting, I, it w it's hard stuff to do. It's adaptive leadership. It's not technical leadership where you make a list and you cross things off your list. 

It's very complex. And, and I was, I could be so scared to hear what the assignment was like, how could that ever, how can you ever do it? And I know you felt like this before, and I know all anybody listening to you has felt like that when they were given an assignment or asked to do something and you're thinking, I could never figure out how to do that. That's where you have to just say, okay, I'm going to take this and I'm going to un-bundle it. And I'm gonna have to figure it out and the approach, and I'm not gonna be scared to do that. 

I may feel anxious this, and you have to feel your feelings and you need to, so I'm going to be anxious doing it, but I'm going to do it. And I'm going to find out how to do it with steps and plans. So I do think that all plays into us who are late bloomers and how we have been lucky to find things that we really love doing after all. 

Wendy (28m 8s): I think that that's right. And I also think that when I was younger and I felt that level of anxiety about something, I didn't have the skills to ask for help. Yes. I didn't have the voice to, or maybe I could not recognize Wendy. Like, you don't even know what you're doing, so why don't you just ask somebody that fake it till you make it thing you do, or I might do that, but I didn't necessarily do it well. So, you know, I've had moments where I definitely felt like I was failing where I didn't feel so confident about it. 

And then after what I would kind of kick myself, like, why didn't I ask for help? Like, why didn't I, and I think that over time, I see so many women that later find their voice or find their voice more strongly. And, you know, it's always been there, but I think sometimes we have to tease it out or, you know, just kind of find the right alignment, where we can feel comfortable being our true selves. And that can take some time 

Barbara (29m 9s): To take some time in, or it can also take a lot of failures. And, and it can take things that may not be failures, because as we spoke about before, you could be doing things that maybe aren't exactly what you want to be doing, but they're really going to help you in the long run. And you may not even know that. So maybe keep your nose to the grind on it, even if it's not the perfect thing for you, as long as you have your vision and your you're dealing with your fears and you know that what your aptitudes and your strengths are, and you have a lot of mentors and coaches so that you can and friends so that you can ask for help. 

Wendy (29m 48s): I think that what you just said to me is it, which is guide's on the side, who are the guide's on the side that we can tap into. And I think that's, I mean, that's true for us at any age, but I certainly think as women reinventing ourselves as we age and coming into our own, you know, really kind of flowering that it makes such a difference when we ask for help, it makes such a difference when we say, okay, I want to do X, but I don't know how to do X, but w what help can I get? 

Who can help me figure out how to do X? Who can I ask, can Barbara help me, or could this Barbara knows that people I might ask, even if 

Barbara (30m 28s): She can't help me. Exactly. And what kind of relationship based understanding how to network and how to ask for help is just precious. Just absolutely precious. You can. And I like what you said with the guides. I mean, you can even think that on one shoulder, you have your gremlin or grim lens, and those are the, that's the self-talk where I can't do it. I can't do this. I'm not good enough. I should have learned how to, what I wanted to do when I was younger and all of those things. 

And then on the other side, you have your guides, whether they're real people or they're spiritual, or maybe they're, or your angels. And I think that those P those mentors and coaches are a part of that shoulder. So you have to say, okay, how can I change the self-talk? Why no, I'll call Wendy and ask her for some advice. Maybe she can help me not think of myself as badly as I'm thinking about this right now, 

Wendy (31m 24s): Because the reality is no one thinks about us as badly as we think about ourselves. 

Barbara (31m 29s): No, if you ask 

Wendy (31m 31s): Any of our friends, they would never say the things about us that we can sometimes say to ourselves, right. Self sabotage the negative self-talk. And I love how you kind of thought about the idea of the guides that guide show up in so many different ways, physical ways, and that spiritual, like, I feel like I've got my spiritual guides and angels that I sometimes call on in situations, as well as like physical people. I can call and say, Hey, I need help. Right. So I think all of that makes the difference. 

And that makes me think about how as we age, you know, we're dealing with all of these challenges. And one thing I think I've learned to do is to offer myself more grace, to be more forgiving to myself. 

Barbara (32m 16s): I think that such a great way to describe it because grace is one of the things that I think I've allowed for myself to. And I think that understanding that self-talk needs to be positive, even though you also want to feel your emotions and also a way to gain that grace and that kind self or power is to make sure that you have some kind of a gratefulness practice. And that's been huge for me. 

I started with a journal where every day I would write down the three things that I'm grateful for. And, you know, I kind of get inconsistent about doing things like that over time. And I still have my journal and it's fun to even look back at it. And so now what I do is I actually ask myself three questions in the shower every morning, because it doesn't take a lot of time. I mean, you're standing there, you know, getting clean. So the first question is, what am I grateful for right now? 

And it can be anything. It can, it doesn't have to be a great big thing. It can be, I'm grateful that I actually slept for seven hours and feel good today, or I'm grateful that my husband didn't snore. You know? And then the second question I now ask myself is what am I looking forward to today on? Even though I'm saying that you're only asking one for one thing, all things can be, you know, I'm really looking forward to I actually, this morning, I actually said, I'm really looking forward to seeing Wendy and doing this interview tonight. 

So that was one of my things I was looking forward to. And then my last question, which I've just recently added, which I find that be the hardest one and a very important one to ask yourself is what am I letting go of today? And is that it is intense and it's powerful. And a lot of times I'm like, okay, I'm letting go of being afraid of the project that I'm working on or anything, any, or what's going on in your life, get it, letting go of it today. 

And that doesn't mean that you're going to totally let go of it either. I mean, it's not like so easy, but at least you conscious of it. Yeah. So those are my three questions. I think gratefulness, I think positive self-talk gratefulness. I think meditation, the end cap and exercise. Those are the things that have helped me. And that helped me today to stay reinvented and to think about what it is I want to do next and then to learn and be courageous, as I mentioned. 

Yeah. I completely 

Wendy (35m 9s): Agree with all of the above to check. And I do think going back to this idea, the gratitude practice, that this is everything to me and I like you have dabbled for years. I kept a gratitude journal. And then I just, I don't know, one day stopped because I got busy and I didn't make it a priority. And more recently I've started doing it again. And in fact, when I had my very first episode in season one, my guest, Barb mangle, she is really into a gratitude practice. She's been part of a lot of 12 step programs and really increased your self awareness. 

And part of what she always did was this gratitude practice. And it made such a huge difference. And that actually was a catalyst for me to say, you know, I should just start doing this again. And I do most nights, I do. I, you know, when I go out and I just said, well, I've got all these little journals, you know, or notepads notebooks from different places that I collect. And so I just started writing them and just filling one that I started on another one and just to write it down and sometimes do go back over it, I think is helpful. 

And sometimes you're just hired and you just like write just really quickly. But sometimes I write in more of the pros form. I am so grateful for today for these things that happened because it allowed me to really think differently or whatever it might be. So depending on the day, but I really agree with you about how that makes such a huge difference. 

Barbara (36m 34s): It makes a huge difference, and that also just helps with continuing to stay resilient. And I think that that's what we need, particularly as we age, because your body doesn't feel the same when you get older, I don't care who you are and how much you've exercised. That's not true. Yeah. I'm not sure that we're supposed to be standing on two feet and not be on, you know, the floor like my dog or, or, or whatever it is. 

So, you know, those sorts of things show up more as you get older for the majority of us, everybody that I know that's for sure. And as a matter of fact, when we get together with people that are in our age, everybody starts talking like I used to watch my parents' talk. And so the, the rule is the rule is okay, everybody gets one minute to talk about what's bugging them physically. And, and then we'll move on from there. 

Wendy (37m 30s): I love that. That is so great per time or on it because you, no, I mean, you don't want to do so much talking to about that. Right. Its just, and I think that also speaks to this idea as you talk about our bodies and our changing bodies as we age. And I know it's not always what we want, but to me it brings up this notion of self-acceptance yes. How can I, you know, and, and gratitude, right? Appreciating that our bodies are able to do what they're able to do. Number 

Barbara (37m 58s): One, say that I often, my morning gratefulness is I am grateful that my back doesn't hurt this morning. And I, as I said, I think it really helps you to be resilient. And I've always said to my kids when they were down in and out about something, just remember that it's, it's like photography. What you're going through right now is only a picture in time, you know, it's going to change. And I think that's really important for us to be able to have some self-acceptance 

Wendy (38m 34s): It really? And I don't know, I guess I I'm, I, you know, I wax philosophical about it and feel like I am more accepting of those things that I can not control about my body. 

Barbara (38m 49s): Right. Right. And, 

Wendy (38m 51s): And with what you mentioned to you about exercise and meditation and you know, the proactive things we can do that will help us feel our best, really do make a difference. It really, that consistently they really 

Barbara (39m 4s): Do. And it's been, there's so much research about how it changes your brain and you can change your brain at any age. And that is well validated. 

Wendy (39m 16s): Yeah. Yeah. And there are so many amazing older people doing amazing things, really literally around the world who are defying this notion. Cause I guess the question, you know, for all of us, for anyone listening for us, having this conversation is, you know, there's a narrative about getting older and certainly a narrative about women, aging women and what we're capable of it. But how do we change that narrative? Because you can look around and maybe if, to look a little bit, but you can find amazing examples of women doing extraordinary things that are older and 

Barbara (39m 50s): More or less, more so today than ever before, which is very exciting, but there really is ageism out there. And I've noticed lately then that a lot of people who are younger than me just lately have been saying, they must, I don't know, maybe they're Googling my age or something cause I don't walk around. And I used to be very proud of talking about my age and now I don't announce it unless somebody asks because there is so much ages I might be, I might be at a happy hour sitting at a bar and talking to young people. 

And I have had the experience where if I said how old I was, they wouldn't be interested in talking to me anymore. So I kind of like veer away from that. And it's age-ism is something that the older people do, you no really suffer from. However lately people who have been saying, so when are you going to stop working? And I've heard that question so many times lately and that's all I can say is when I stopped working, when I don't want to do it anymore or they don't want me to do it anymore, you know, I just, I love what I do. 

It keeps my brain energized. I feel like I'm making a contribution. I know I'm making a contribution and a S keeps my brain stimulated and it's fun. It's so much fun. And it took, it's the best of any of my jobs that I've ever had at this age, what I'm doing is so much fun. 

Wendy (41m 15s): And that's everything that we should, you know, sometimes we obviously had jobs that weren't so fun or we've had jobs. Cause we had to put food on the table or take care of our kids' or put our kids through college or whatever those things were. And yes, we made those sacrifices. But when we get to the older it's like, why shouldn't I be fun? Why shouldn't I be doing something that brings me joy? And what you're speaking too, to me sounds like what I consider to be a limitless mindset. 

No, no, that's a great way to put it. I feel like Reinvention, Rebels have a mindset like that. That anything is possible that who cares. If there are rules, I can define the rules, rules for who. Yeah. 

Barbara (42m 0s): And you know, when you're getting older, it's very important to still have things to look forward to, which has a lot of what happens to older people when they get depressed is that they don't feel like they have anything to look forward to. So how can you find something that you're still passionate about that you can look forward to studying or learning about or care or new friends or what, or a new work kind of life, whatever it is, but something to look forward to. That's why, again, I really really think having a personal vision and mission is so important. 

Wendy (42m 36s): I, I really think so because I think that if we can do that and then we're really clear about this is what's important to me, then I can figure out how I can find it. I can go to the guides on the side and say, this is my mission. This is what I want to do. And I, you know, the thing about my mom, who's now 88 and he's always been interested in traveling. And she went on many trips with Rhodes scholars, which has, you know, an organization, whether the plans on these trips for older people and had a blast, met new people, you know, form these friendships with people she's gone to visit or they've been traveled together on the other two. 

Barbara (43m 13s): Exactly. And for those of you that don't no Wendy's mother, let me tell you she's it's quick. And he has really aging gracefully. I will say that about her. She is, 

Wendy (43m 24s): She's very sharp and Sprite, 88 years young, which I hope to be the same way, but it goes back to what you're saying though. Again, this idea of intentionality, of, you know, finding people who have similar interests, people that will stimulate you, stimulating your brain, staying active in interesting ways. All those things make such a difference. 

Barbara (43m 48s): I still have so many things I want to do on my life. So do you want to hear what my latest shortened version of my mission is? Oh yes, yes, please. And, and so I'm saying it to tell him, to tell you and the people who are listening, but also to help people understand how it might not be difficult too, to develop your mission. And you can just get it down to the essential. So right now, what I say is who I am is someone who is authentic and pathic positive and challenging. 

My gift is insight and intuition. My purpose is to help people develop and evolve. And I look at that all the time. I have it up in my office right on board so that I can 

Wendy (44m 32s): Look at it. Yeah. And, and I think that's ultimately what it is like, whatever it is we right. Has to really write awaken something in us and inspire us. And just knowing you. Of course, I know you so I can, I can see how that is. So, so fitting for you, but this idea of helping people evolve, I think is really powerful. 

Wendy (44m 55s): Hey, amazing listeners want to have Reinvention, Rebels, inspiration delivered to your inbox, hit over to Reinvention, Rebels dot com and sign up for my news and notes. This idea 

Wendy (45m 9s): Of that unapologetic as we age like that, some people are just has always had a strong voice and vocalize whatever from, I don't know when they were 10 and never stopped. Right? Yeah. I just like anything right there, or people that have always been just really clear and they don't care what anybody thinks and they're just going to tell you and whatever they do that. And then, but I think for a lot of women, because I think women have been socialized to apologize about all kinds of stuff. Oh my God. Right. I mean, we could spend an hour talking about all of that. 

And so I think there's something to getting really comfortable, to feel more on apologetic. And I'm really curious as to what you might tell younger women that are listening, who, you know, we, we've all spent a lot of time and our younger years trying to find ourselves and, you know, figure this thing out, I'll call life, which is so complicated and you know, even more so today. Right. Even more so than when we were growing up, you know, we didn't have the internet. We didn't, you know, it was just, I don't know. It just seemed like it was simpler. 

Now. It seems very complex. So, you know, advice or words of encouragement do you have for younger listeners or anybody? Really 

Barbara (46m 22s): Anybody. So I think what we talked about before I w would like to stress again and that's all about how can you help yourself become more resilient. And also if you remember what I, you know, with thinking about things or just a picture of the time, meaning that they always change. And I'd say use all the resilience, exercises and practices that you can, some of the things that we've talked about this evening, try them on and see what sticks for you. You know, having a gratefulness journal may not be the way that you can do it. 

There may be other ways that you can do it, but there are ways. And I would say study or emotional intelligence and learn it inside and out. That includes a lot of different kinds of mastery. But the one we're talking about right now is particularly self-mastery. I think that's really, really important. Another thing that I work a lot with clients on that I think is very important as to understand what your communication style is and the fact that, that we all have different communication styles. 

And a lot of times we get frustrated because we may speak to someone who doesn't seem to be apologetic at all. And it's like, well, why are they so direct? I mean, are they just not like a nice person? And, and maybe they are, and they just have a very different style. So to, to begin to learn that and learn how you can flex your own communication style, to help people with you to have more effective conversations for you to have more tolerance and more resilience. 

Those are some of the things that I would stay. 

Wendy (47m 60s): Yeah. And I think that, I think that's so interesting what you just said about what is it I can do. It's not just the other person. Yes. But how can I be part of the solution? And I think, and this idea of having more tolerance, right? Which these days, you know, people to be short on, or we don't want to bother you to go into that for whatever reason, right. For any number of reasons. And I think that if we can be more open, if we can be more tolerant in whatever situation to be tolerant with our family, you know, over our family disagreements, it can be anything. 

It doesn't have to be like big world issues. It could be like just starting to write inside that. Cause I think to that, you know, as we age, we often tend to be more set in our ways. And then often we, sometimes we can have dissension and families when it gets to like caring for a parent where those, those communication styles you're talking about sometimes can come into conflict. And if we don't have that self-mastery, or that self-awareness, it's just harder to navigate. 

Barbara (49m 2s): It really is. And again, it's not all a rosy picture and I don't mean to paint it, not at all or not being a Pollyanna at all. It's really important that you acknowledge your feelings. And when you're feeling bad, when you're feeling anxious, then just sit and think about what it is that's bothering you. Identify it, let yourself be, ask yourself questions about it. And then try to realize that the picture changes that, that it's going to change and, and stay calm, which is something that you knew me from way back that you'd probably laugh at me saying person that I'm much calmer. 

Now I may not ever be the model for calmness, but for me, I have really calmed down from trying to put all these pieces that we've been talking about together. You know, life can interrupt your career on your plans, but stick with your passions and your natural talents, explore them. No yourself. Learn about yourself. 

Wendy (50m 6s): That is such a pastor Reinvention. I really feel like, you know, at any age and any stages, what I always say, we can reinvent ourselves. And this is, you were such a great example of this because one of the things that, you know, you talked about from the beginning, and I liked this thread that you sort of woven through a conversation, Barbara, first, you went on you, you, you did this aptitude testing and you found out about this, about healthcare. And I love how that's taken many different forms and the is come to a place where it's something that you are so passionate about. 

So I see how things can take different forms, even if it's still the same thing we might be good at. It doesn't mean we always like it, but you have no, the self-mastery. And I think that that calmness that you talk about is so key because I feel like I've become much more calm. I haven't, I was always kind of calm, but I think through meditation being much more grounded, I am able to respond instead of react. 

Barbara (51m 8s): Very good. I mean, that's great. Just always of course not. I mean, things happen in the moment and you're not going to be correct. Right. But having that consciousness of being responsive rather than reactive is just an amazing growth. 

Wendy (51m 25s): Yeah. That is that. I think that combined with this idea, you, you just mentioned about feeling how we can, you know, B learn how to feel into what's going on and say, I don't feel good about this right now, but that's okay. Like I want to really just kind of sit with these feelings of sometimes feeling sad about something, but reminding myself that's okay. It's okay to feel sad. And every moment in life clearly is not all happy and, you know, balloons and Champaign or something. 

Barbara (51m 56s): The thing that if everything was happy all the time, then you'd never know it was happy because you'd have know nothing to measure or not being happy. So you have to have the ups and downs. That's just part of nature. 

Wendy (52m 8s): Sure. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that that full circle that goes back to the gratitude, then that, that we can then appreciate our lives so much more. Right. Because you know, if we have those ups and downs, then when we're down, we can appreciate, oh no, here, all of the other good things that are going on out. 

Barbara (52m 22s): And sometimes it's really hard. You're feeling really down and you ask yourself, what am I grateful for right now? Oh, no, I can't think of anything so bad. Okay. Let me think a little harder, you know, what am I looking forward to? And don't forget that, what am I looking forward to? You know, like, like forward-thinking is also a big, big part of reinvention, I believe, you know, and that not necessarily living in the past, but really thinking about the current, the present being in the present and thinking about the future and then how can you, how can you close that gap between where you are right now and, and what, wherever, whatever little thing you might wanna do or whatever, the big thing you want to do, how can you get there? 

So that's, that's thinking about your future, no matter how old you are 

Wendy (53m 11s): Forward thinking, if I'm a Reinvention Rebels, I love that. I want to wrap up and think, and have you just recap the three things that you T I thought that those three things you mentioned were so powerful and no one was, what am I grateful for? Wow. 

Barbara (53m 29s): What am I looking to do today? What am I looking forward to today? And then that really at least hard ass question for me, which is what am I letting go of? 

Wendy (53m 44s): Oh, that is so powerful. And so that's a hard one. That's a hard one. Cause it's hard sometimes to let go of fear or anger or the 

Barbara (53m 55s): Conversation that you had with someone that you're in. Yeah. So that anger, so you're mad at somebody because you had this conversation or whatever, you know? 

Wendy (54m 5s): Yes, no. Or, or, you know, I had a conversation with someone and this happens so often that after you're done, you're like, you know, I should have said X. Yeah. Right. 

Barbara (54m 19s): I can spend a lot of the time room and all that. I have spent a lot of time ruminating keeping me up at night, ruined totally 

Wendy (54m 25s): And completely, totally completely. And I think that women generally WWE, I think that we tend to be in our heads a lot. And so not that men don't ruminate on things also, but I certainly think that women spend a lot of time doing that. 

Barbara (54m 41s): Yes. I think that's very true. It's hard because we really need to learn how to still be those nice sensitive people, but also build up a shell of re and I'll call it resilience, but some kind of armor of strength where you can be direct when you have to be where you can be unapologetic when you need to be and walk away. And even knowing that it's got to make you feel bad because you're a nice person, but you took care of yourself in it and it'll make it better. 

Wendy (55m 19s): Yeah. And I think that, you know, you, you summed that up so beautifully because I think so much of what we talked about was really self-care how do I take care of myself as I age? How can I be my best self? How can I be more resilient? As you said, and to me, that's everything about aging with attitude, aging, enthusiastically, and vibrantly feeling like I'm leading my best. Yep. And 

Barbara (55m 47s): That makes, and I'm not living my best life. What will I do tomorrow to make it better? 

Wendy (55m 53s): Yeah. What small step can I take? I love those three steps. I'm going to pull those out in the show notes. Okay. And this was, this was just such an awesome conversation, VirusTotal inspiring about the things we can do, like actually steps we actually can take, as we're working on becoming a reinvention rebel, or refining our rebel, a rebel or something like that, that we can always, and the spirit of continuous improvement always be working on things. 

And it can always 

Barbara (56m 27s): Be, you know, live your best, most extraordinary life. And if that means doing something that helps others live theirs, then do what do that, or do what resonates for you or, or a member to go back to figuring out what your natural aptitudes, you don't have to go to Johnson O'Connor to figure that out, because now we have we're, we're wired. You can just go into Google and find a test to test. Right. You can do all of that. You can do that. 

Wendy (56m 56s): I love that. I love that. So some of our listeners may be interested in knowing Barbra's inspiring work on. I find Barbara, are there places they can find you on social media? Yeah, 

Barbara (57m 9s): Certainly. So my website is www dot Barbara Healy associates, and it's spelled H T a L Y. People get confused with the, and the Y and I am on Facebook and I am on LinkedIn. And so I'll just kind of leave it at that right now. Yeah. Okay. That's 

Wendy (57m 31s): Great. And I'll put all of that and in the show notes so I can reach out and find you 

Barbara (57m 37s): Good. And I'd love to talk to anybody who wants to talk a little more about this, so please feel 

Wendy (57m 42s): Free to, oh, that would be awesome. That'd be awesome. So simple ways that you can reach out to Barbara and get more of this, this inspiration about reinvention and resilience and aging vibrantly. And this has fantastic story of how Barbra has reinvented herself multiple times over and continues to do so with the idea that we can do that at any age or any stage 

Barbara (58m 8s): As any age and any stage. 

Wendy (58m 11s): I cannot. Thank you enough. Thank you so much for tuning into the Reinvention Rebels podcast today. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did and found it interesting, insightful and inspiring. I've got to small favor to ask. If you love this, would you be to me a favor and share a five-star review on apple podcasts via your phone or iPad and share what you loved about it. 

To know that it makes it easier for people to find the Reinvention Rebels podcast when I get more reviews and don't you think it's an awesome idea to make this kind of inspiration, easier to find for our listeners. So thanks in advance for your time, your words and your review. I really appreciate it. And I can't wait to see you on the next episode, toxin.