How I’m Changing the World One Vagina at a Time with Kate Wells: Helping Menopausal Women Love Sex Again

🌟Welcome to another empowering episode of Reinvention Rebels, where we celebrate the journeys of bold and unapologetic women redefining their midlife and beyond. 🌟

This week, I’m thrilled to introduce Kate Wells, a trailblazer dedicated to improving the lives of midlife women through her work in menopause and sexual health. From her beginnings as a high school teacher to her success in business and integrative medicine, Kate’s story is a testament to the power of reinvention. 

We explore:

• her journey and the founding of Parlor Games in 2020, and how her innovative products, such as hormone replacement therapies and a vaginal estriol cream, aim to bring joy and vitality to post-menopausal women.
  
  
• her inspiring reinvention story, highlighting her transition from teaching to becoming an expert in integrative medicine at the age of 62. 
  
  
• the importance of understanding hormones, nutrition, and environmental factors for optimal health, and how her knowledge helped her navigate menopause with minimal symptoms. 
  
  
• the concept of a "midlife menopausal toolkit" and the significance of personalized approaches to hormone supplementation. 
  
  
• the fulfillment of living one's mission, the vitality of midlife women, and the importance of setting personal boundaries. 

Tune in to hear Kate’s incredible journey and discover the myriad possibilities for joy, reinvention and fulfilling sex in midlife and on our menopausal journey!

Connect with Kate:

Website: https://www.parlor-games.com/
Instagram: @parlorgamesfun

Mentioned in this Episode:

Magic Mind: Give Magic Mind mental performance shots a try. Go to magicmind.com/rebels to save up to 40% off of your first subscription or 20% off a one-time order. Use code REBELS20 at checkout.

Previous Episode: Reinvention at 52: How I’m Empowering Midlife Women to Navigate Menopause Joyfully with Dixie Lincoln-Nichols

Kick your midlife fears and uncertainty to the curb and start your Reinvention Rebels journey today. Learn about my audio program, Midlife Reinvention From The Inside Out: 8 Essentials to Greenlight Your Life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Reinvention Rebels
• 5:40 Empowering Women Through Reinvention
• 20:44 Midlife Menopause Solutions and Strategies
• 27:00 Embracing Midlife Possibilities
• 37:12 Living on Purpose
• 46:45 Reinvention Through Sharing Impact

Transcript

00:00 - Kate Wells (Guest)

You know, by the time we get to this point in our lives, we have learned so much, we have knowledge. We've got another 40 years where we can bring that awesomeness to the world. I think women should be empowered to say you know, forget this menopause nonsense, get my hormones balanced, get my right nutrients in my body, get out of my because I'm coming.

00:32 - Wendy Battles (Host)

Welcome to Reinvention Rebels stories of brave and unapologetic women, 50 to 90 years young, who have boldly reinvented life on their own terms to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, wendy Battles. I need to kick your fears to the curb, do it scared and step into who you are meant to be in midlife and beyond. These amazing women, these reinvention rebels, can help light your reinvention path. Come join us and let's get inspired together. Hey, hey, hey Rebels. Welcome to another episode of the Reinvention Rebels podcast. I am your host, wendy. As usual, I am so glad that you are here and joining me for this episode. This is the place to come for information and inspiration and to get into action about reinventing yourself anywhere in midlife, because now's the time for us to create that life. We keep talking about that someday life. Well, that someday is today and I share stories of amazing women between 50 and 90 that have done that to inspire our own journeys and help us activate and get started on our own unique reinvention path. Reinvention Rebels is a top 2% globally rated podcast. I am so grateful to welcome listeners from around the world who are soaking up all of the wisdom and joy and possibilities of what we can be and today is no different. Can be and today is no different. I'm really excited because I have an amazing woman who is joining me in the guest chair today. Her name is Kate Wells, and Kate Wells has some inspiration and the most amazing information to share with us about navigating menopause, our menopausal bodies and especially our sexual health during menopause, when we are post-menopausal whether it's perimenopause you know we're going through menopause, we're post-menopausal bodies and especially our sexual health during menopause, when we are post-menopausal whether it's perimenopause, you know we're going through menopause, we're post-menopausal our sexual health is really important, and she's here to educate us today on some things that we can do to find more joy in that area of our life too. But before we get to that, I just want to mention did you check out last week's episode I loved it with Dixie Lincoln Nichols? Dixie is one of the co-founders of the Life in the Paws Festival, which is happening on Saturday, october 5th. So if you're listening to this, when I'm dropping this episode, it's in a couple of days. If you're in the New York City area, you should come join us. But this is like such a great segue from talking about menopause, the last two episodes and midlife joy with first Monique, one of the co-founders of the festival, then Dixie and now moving on to Kate. It's like a trifecta right now. So I am linking to the episode with Dixie in the show notes for easy access. You gotta go listen to it. It's so inspiring.

03:42
And let me tell you a little bit about Ms Kate Wells, my guest today. Kate Wells has a really interesting reinvention story that has resulted in helping to change the sex lives of midlife women in the best possible way. She grew up in England, received her undergrad degree in science and a master's in education. She started her career as a high school teacher for six years but later moved into business, her passion. Kate moved to the us in 1993, got an mba, had her two daughters and has been running businesses ever since.

04:34
For 22 years she worked in integrative medicine, having been the coo and president of two hormone testing laboratories and also involved in product development testing for a genetics testing laboratory. Along the way she's completed a fellowship in herbal medicine. She's also the author of a forecast for health understanding your potential for lifelong Wellness, which I have to say sounds really good, because we all want that right. We're in midlife and we want this long, vibrant life. But Kate's biggest joy and her goal is to help women understand their options for hormone replacement. She reinvented herself when she founded Parlor Games in 2020 with her best friend, christy Hag. Their goal to introduce their vaginal estriol product to help women. Kate has discovered there is no lack of dry vaginas out there and that they are saving the world one vagina at a time. Kate Wells, welcome to the Reinvention Rebels. Guest chair. Hello.

05:46 - Kate Wells (Guest)
I am so happy to be here. I just welcome the opportunity to share my story with your listeners and to maybe inspire them to understand how they too can bring their gifts into this world. So thank you for having me on.

06:02 - Wendy Battles (Host)
It is my pleasure and I'm so excited because we're talking today about your reinvention story, how you really got on this trajectory, which ultimately means it's not just a reinvention for you.

06:18
But what I love about your story is that you are also helping so many women in midlife reinvent the experience of joy of not having those dry vaginas, and we're going to talk a lot about that and I think this is such a topic that is so relevant to so many of us. Obviously, as we go through hormonal changes, as we go through menopause, as our bodies just change, often in ways we're not like, so crazy about myself included, I'm not going to like it. You know it takes some mindset shifts often to understand that things are changing, but we're going to get to all of that. I really want to begin by talking first about your reinvention story, and what I know is that reinvention looks different for each of us. There's no right or wrong way to do it and there certainly is no timetable. Tell me about how you have reinvented yourself in midlife, how you really got started on this path that has really changed both you and so many other people.

07:22 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Oh, let me see if I can condense this one, because it sure has been a journey and it's interesting. You know, here I am at 62, looking back particularly over the last four years in my business, and thinking, oh yes, so much of what I did led to this point. But you don't know it when you're in the middle of it, you just have to keep moving forward and hoping. So I did start in teaching and I love teaching and I think that's a big part of why we focus so much on education in a lot of our content. But in business, I was really fortunate to find myself into the world of salivary, hormone testing and integrative medicine. I caught myself just by listening a lot about this integrative medicine side, about health, about wellness, about nutrition, about toxicity in our body I mean all things that are impacting how we can live well in our lives. And as I was in this role as president of this particular laboratory, I would go to conferences and listen to all this information. And it dawned on me that so many people, women in particular have no idea about the impacts of our environment, our hormones, our nutrition on our bodies and how optimal they are. And of course, as I myself started to go through that menopausal transition. I use that word transition because it's not one thing. It doesn't happen in a year. It's a period of time Forget the pun when our hormones begin to shift. You know, it can start as early as our early 40s and go all the way through our mid 50s. So it's definitely a transition time. But I knew enough to start using progesterone during this time and I have to tell you and I'm probably going to make everybody feel utterly miserable when I say I've probably had like five hot flashes in my entire life because my hormones were right, I had sufficient levels of the right things and they were balanced. So I was going through this and learning this myself and, at the same time, realizing that everyday people don't know this. I mean, hormones is a topic that even many practitioners don't know anything about, let alone the general public.

09:37
So I wrote my book as a resource. It's a little bit on the biochemistry side, just because I'm a little bit of a biochemistry nerd, as it turns out. Who would have thought? But we have to have this information in order to claim ourselves, because when women go through this menopausal transition, it's so easy to lose track of who you are. So I was immersed in this and that work kind of came to an end and I sort of, well, I'll retire. And everybody around me laughed and I managed four months before I moved on to another lab. That's when I went to work for this genetics lab and oh, all this, all this more science, oh, into genetics. I loved it. I was just immersed again. You know my brain loves to learn. And then I moved to the East Coast to join my sweetheart. I thought retire again. I guess everyone around me just laughed.

10:25
And it was at that point that I got serious about talking to Kirstie, my best friend, about this area of women's health that's associated with vaginal dryness. She had had that issue, she knew, I knew all about this and I had given her some pointers and some tips on using Estriol. And I kept saying to her you know what? There's a world out there, there's a world of women who need this, they need the information, they need a product that helps them. And she was busy or I was off somewhere else and I kept saying you know, we need to do this, we need to do this.

10:56
And it turns out that we are just like the perfect pairing because we have different specialties. I am trained in business management that's my experience and I have a science, and she has the IT stuff and she has the marketing and the outreach piece and this combination of my content, learning, my love of education. Don't know if anyone can pick it up from my voice, but I am earnestly passionate about helping women understand their bodies so they know they have got options, they're not going into some sad, lonely, miserable, loveless life rest of their days. It's like no, no, no, no, life does not have to be like that. There are options. All this combination led us to founding this company and it has been transformative for me and for her in so many ways, not just in that we, you know, we have great product, we have a great team, we help all these women, but it's really allowed us to grow as continue to grow, as individuals as well.

11:56 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I think it's fascinating how all of these different variables really lined up in just the right way for you to connect, get together and ultimately launch the company. But so much of this, it feels like when we reinvent, starts within ourselves To even get on the path to reinvent ourselves. I feel like I've done a lot of internal work, often quiet work and in our pre-interview chat you mentioned that part of this unfolding for you was tuning into the things that make you shine, figuring out where do I shine and then also the things where you know you know that's not really for me. How did that really unfold for you when it came to this reinvention? What kind of happened that maybe might have been the spark in terms of that sort of the internal reinvention?

12:47 - Kate Wells (Guest)
process. Oh, that internal reinvention has been lifelong. You know, I grew up in England, of course, where you know, there isn't the acknowledgement of emotions and so a lot gets squashed. So you know, I had to spend a lot of my 40s learning what emotions were and then beginning to recognize them in myself and own them, not run away from them, and develop this relationship and trust in myself and trust in the universe. And trust is always a constant stream of goodness available if you get still enough and ask for guidance, in whatever form that may be.

13:22
And so I am an introvert by nature. I don't need a lot of activity around me. I am often in my head, I'm thinking, and I found myself thinking am I brave enough? Am I brave enough to go do this? And in general, I've always had a fair amount of courage. I'm the archetypal older child, the one who's out there doing stuff. But it took a different level of courage to put myself quite often in the spotlight in this.

13:49
I have been used to dealing with practitioners who have a high degree of content, knowledge, science and clinical knowledge, and have always felt myself that I didn't know as much as them. And so you know what would I have to say, I mean, I know this stuff but it's straightforward to me. What have I got to share? But it was that reminding myself that, oh no, no, you are here to share that information, that information you have normalized in yourself. I am here to share that, and so I develop that capacity to know when I'm frayed, where my energy is gone in the wrong direction, to know what that feels like and then to kind of bring myself back to center. And when I am centered it's like there's no stopping me because I'm here talking about hormones and I so want to empower women to own that in themselves. There's so much that we can do to help women be vital. And I know when it's almost like my body vibrates when I am in that space. It's magical.

14:52 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love this idea of the magic because it says to me, kate, that that magic is within all of us and that you said you kind of leaned in, you got quiet. You're naturally an introvert, but you kind of found that place that really works for you. And I heard you say something at the beginning. You said self-trust. It feels like it's really about knowing ourselves, or getting to know ourselves. Maybe we haven't asked ourselves those questions in the past. Maybe, as you said, you did this self-discovery.

15:23
So I think it goes back to this how of reinventing, and the how can manifest in many different ways. Each of us is different, but I think that starting from within and leaning into your intuition, trusting yourself, that gut feeling you might get however you might get to that it feels like to me is so important in this. I also know, though, kate, that we can do this internal work. So we decide we want to reinvent, we're kind of figuring it out, we start to lean in and maybe get more introspective, really think about what's important to us, what do we want, what's our heart's desire. But I have found personally and maybe you have too that, not like everything in life, it's usually not a straight path that we can run into challenges along the way. Maybe we have to redirect. What's the largest challenge that you came across as you were going through this reinvention process and how did you overcome it?

16:26 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Oh, I think the biggest challenge were the stories in my head that I wrote about what I was supposed to be. I have done a number of personality assessments over time and what I began to see in those were two important things. One there were some trends. Didn't matter which one I did, there were some trends. There were some patterns that came up over and over and over again. And the second thing I learned that in my head I felt like I was trying to contradict those patterns. Oh no, that's not me, I should be something else. And over time I began to quiet that voice that said you should be, and it became more of a conversation about you are, and it was embracing who I am. And I'll give you an example.

17:13
The Enneagram is one of the tools that can be used for understanding who we are, our natural personality types, and I come out, you know, kind of a little bit spread across the board, but one is the Enneagram, one is someone who's very process oriented, and that's me to a T, if there is something to be organized, if there is something to be organized, if there is something to be developed, if there's a standard operating procedure to write like I'm there with my hand in the air saying this is me, this is me.

17:43
But if it comes to something like design, I mean, for heaven's sake, I can barely draw a straight line, I can't design anything and I am not a verbal processor, I'm an inward processor and I try hard to get my words out the right way the first time. So it was really leaning in to what these multiple personality tests had been telling me for a long time. It's like no, this is who you are, all right, love it, embrace it and turn that to advantage to help others. And I've always not everyone has this and I want to be really clear that not everybody's on the surface of the planet to help somebody else, you know, to change lives. Some people are and I'm in that category. I have tremendous amount of you know, knowledge, information, and you know and I'm smart and I embrace that and I own that. It's like and I want that to be for a broader good. And so it was really leaning in and owning who I am and disowning who I think I should be.

18:46 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love that Owning who you are really embracing that and kicking the other part to the curb. I think that so much of that is self-acceptance, saying wow, you know, I recognize. And however way we figure out that information whether it's other people helping us see that in ourselves or we're doing personality tests or something that helps us identify it there's so many different ways to do it. But when we can say I see that for me and I embrace that wholeheartedly, I think that can create such a powerful shift for us to be able to move forward, because I think any of us can get in our own way, like I'm a master at getting in my own way. No one else needs to do it for me, kate, because I can do it so well myself.

19:28 - Kate Wells (Guest)
And I think women are far more likely to do that. Yeah, absolutely.

19:34 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Absolutely. I completely agree. I want to talk a little more about Parlor Games, the name of your company. You create these products that are really impactful for women as we're going through these hormonal changes. I'm post-menopausal now and I have those dry bits. I'm not going to lie. How can these products help women?

19:58 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Well, our starting product was the silky peach cream. It's an estriol cream, particularly for vaginal, vulva and urethral health. Estrogen is really important for the tissue of the vagina and the vulva and after menopause our body stops making estrogen and so gradually, the reservoir of estrogen that's available to keep that tissue healthy it kind of diminishes and literally dries up, and with it so does the vaginal tissue. It can get so dry that it can develop little micro tears in there. And once you get little micro tears in the skin, body's always going to try and repair that. It's one of the things that body does. Like any break in the skin, ooh, repair it, repair it. And when it tries to do that, there's going to be local inflammation. When you have local inflammation, you get irritation, you get soreness. I mean women can get to the point where it can hurt to wipe. It's hard for them to wear jeans and forget sex. Nothing's getting in there because it's way too painful.

20:57
Our messaging and this is where Kirstie comes in I can get advanced in the science, but Kirstie, she's the world's extrovert. There isn't anyone on the surface of this planet that isn't her friend and she's playful and she just. I think she just absolutely nailed it with our messaging about the fun back in your sex life. You can't do that. So we started reaching out to women to say you know, there's a solution. Just because your past menopause and your estrogen supplies are low or gone, you know, you do not need to give up on sex. There's a way to maintain that tissue so that it's healthy, and that's what our silky beach cream is for.

21:33 - Wendy Battles (Host)
So, if I'm hearing you correctly, as we start to dry up a bit, or maybe a lot, as I've experienced, things become uncomfortable, and this product especially helps to moisturize. It helps be more comfortable so that we can have sex and actually enjoy it Right. When we think about the past, we want to kind of go back to that right.

21:58 - Kate Wells (Guest)
So when we do have a plentiful supply of estrogen when we're younger, that keeps the skin healthy. The skin cells hold onto each other, they are plumped up, they're soft, they naturally produce lubrication, and so intimacy is comfortable, pleasurable. But when we run out of that estrogen supply, that's when the skin starts to dry up, and so the estriol it's a very gentle form of estrogen, the estriol in the cream. You need to apply it on a regular basis to maintain that supply of estrogen in that tissue. It's like refilling a reservoir in all of that tissue. That will help maintain that tissue so that it's healthy, so the skin is healthy. So, yes, it can add in the short term a little bit of moisturization. I will say, though, we're never going to have the levels of internal lubrication in our 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s that we had when we were our 20s and 30s, and so using a lube is always going to be a good idea as well, but, yes, it's really helping heal that tissue.

23:03 - Wendy Battles (Host)
It's really so wonderful that we actually have items like this that we can go to, because I feel like so many women just feel sometimes hopeless or want to give up or don't know, because often I feel like even with menopause generally, I mean, the conversation I believe is changing now, but, you know, not that long ago we didn't even know that much about it or sometimes our providers didn't know enough about it to really advise us, and so to go from the space of we don't know what we don't know to oh, here are some possibilities. So for those of you listening, if this sparks something in you, I think that that says a lot because as we're having this conversation, you know we're identifying, kate, what we need for our midlife bodies basically to be our best, and I found personally that it involves a lot of experimentation. You have to try different things as you're going through perimenopause or being post-menopausal, beginning to notice the changes and addressing them. I know that I personally have worked with a naturopath to help me and we've tried different things with fluctuating hormone levels, having hot flashes. I've tried different things and some worked and some didn't, or we adjusted. So I think part of it is if we can be really open to what could be possible, that makes a difference.

24:19
I know, even with sleep hygiene I've been working on that which has changed in menopause, being post menopausal and you know, throughout the whole process. So I feel like there's this idea of our physical body and what we need to do, and then for me it's also has been mental changes, and one of the things that I experienced, which I'm sure you're probably not unfamiliar with, was some degree of brain fog and I don't mean like, oh my gosh, I can't go on, I can't focus at all, not like that, but just not as sharp Like I've always considered myself to be a very sharp, focused person, very productive, and I really felt like a decline in that when I started getting some of these symptoms. So one of the things I've also been working on is the mental side of midlife and managing that, and one of the things that has worked for me is something that I drink every day. It's called Magic Mind and it's what's called a mental performance shot. So it's something that has these all natural ingredients to help you really stay calm, like it's got ashwagandha. It's got things to help you focus and be more productive, like lion's mane, mushrooms and matcha.

25:25
So, again, I like this idea that I'm trying to find these natural ways to add things to what I like to call Kate, my midlife menopausal toolkit, which, by the way, if the mention of Magic Mind piqued your interest, you might want to check it out for yourself. Just go to magicmindcom slash rebels and you can use my code rebels20 and save 20%, and, of course, I'll put the details in the show notes too. So one more thing to add to our midlife menopausal toolkit.

25:57 - Kate Wells (Guest)
I love the idea of that. Yes, we are so fortunate that we have, you know, science that backs a lot of the ingredients that are now available for us to use the nutrients that we've got available the mushrooms are important for so many functions within the body in particular, and matcha I mean. It's just an all-around great ingredient. And you know, having a toolkit is so important because, you mentioned, we're all individual, we are, and so we're not a one size fits all. I mean we could do a whole other podcast just about hormone supplementation on that whole topic. But you know, finding things like the product you just mentioned, along with other nutrients that help us stay focused, stay healthy and ensuring that we do have adequate hormones those are all part of that picture. That's fantastic that you have that and it's working for you.

26:54 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Kate, we have talked about so many interesting things today when it comes to this idea of a midlife menopausal toolkit which, by the way, I just coined that phrase today just because I love this idea right that there are many different things that we can do physically, mentally, to help ourselves feel our best. You've talked a lot about parlor games and that, how that helps with the physical of this. The thing I always reflect on for myself personally is that it takes time to get to that place sometimes of seeing new possibilities in midlife, whether it's in how you want to reinvent yourself, whether it's in how you feel about your physical body that might be changing, whether it's how you feel mentally and emotionally, and that we're all in different places. We're all on, you know, we're sort of on this continuum and we might plot ourselves in different places along that continuum that gets to, you know, full body acceptance and appreciation, which you know, even for me, comes and goes. So I'm kind of curious about your perspective on this.

27:58
I'd love to know what you think we can do, knowing that some women that are listening are right there with us. They're like yes, yes, I want to have better sex. Yes, I want to really appreciate my midlife body, no matter where I am. Yes, I want to feel like I'm really tuned in mentally and emotionally. And then there are other women listening that are maybe at the beginning of this continuum of feeling really good in midlife and maybe they don't see as much hope or possibility as some of us do. What suggestions do you have for what women can do to begin to shift their mindset to one of welcoming in these midlife possibilities, both physically and mentally?

28:43 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Some of the challenge for women. They haven't really identified what their real gift is. Not everyone is a leader just as well otherwise it would be a big fight. But women are so good at finding ways to look out for others they're not necessarily good at finding ways to look out for themselves. You know, maybe starting by understanding that, who's this person, who am I? I'm a list person. I would say, well, write down all the things that you know you're good at, all the things that you have achieved in life. I mean, you can write down your list of things that you wish you had achieved in life and you look at that list and just feel a little sad, if you want to. But really write down all the things that you have done, all the kids that you have worked with, all the meals you've cooked, all the people you've talked to, where you changed their day just by smiling at them on the subway or whatever it might be. Identify all the ways that you have made a difference, and I think that will give plenty of people a lift, just by seeing that. Then the other thing this is going to come back to mindfulness and being still with yourself.

29:50
We mentioned before about how we are women, it's so easy for us to put ourselves down. We have to stop that nonsense. But you can't really stop that nonsense until you become mindful, watching yourself for your own internal messaging, and when you start to say, oh, I made a mistake, I'm terrible, I'm no good, it's just like. Well, it's almost like you even have this little internal dialogue where your adult person talks to the little child person who says I just made a terrible mistake, I'm awful, and the adult person says let's just look at that, is that real?

30:22
So you learn to watch yourself and dialogue within yourself and you're watching for all those stories that you tell yourself, which could be limiting and if you're not used to doing it, there can be a cacophony of sound there and it takes a practice. But it's a great way to start building that relationship with yourself and it could be that in this lifetime, that's what you're here to do is develop that relationship with yourself. And it could be that in this lifetime, that's what you're here to do is develop that relationship with yourself. That is just as much about reinventing yourself as going off at age 58 and starting a new company. We're all so different but ultimately being at peace and loving who we are is if we can get to the end of our lives and have achieved that. Oh my goodness, we have done so good in the world.

31:11 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love what you just said because it says everything about self-awareness, the importance of self-awareness that ultimately, the answers are within. And I heard you say beginning to pay more attention to how we talk to ourselves. What are the messages that we're sending and are they true? Is that even accurate? Because what I noticed about myself is that I would never let someone talk to me the way I talk to myself, which seems crazy. Right, like we have these standards for how other we wouldn't want someone else to treat us in a certain way. Yet when it comes to ourselves, sometimes we're not treating ourselves in such a kind way.

31:47
So I appreciate this idea of tuning in to that internal dialogue, really listening to what's going on.

31:55
It goes back to this idea of getting more quiet and listening to that wisdom that bubbles up.

32:01
I also heard you say at the beginning that it's important to take stock of what we've done, to really look back at our accomplishments, to remind us that often we've done so much more than we thought we have.

32:17
I mean when we actually either ask ourselves and start writing down all the things and identifying them, or ask other people who know us, who maybe have a fresh perspective that's not our own and they can see things that sometimes we can't see in ourselves. Even that combination, that one-two combination, it's amazing how we can realize that we are so much more than we think we are to begin with, that often we give ourselves credit for and I just think, women, we just sell ourselves too short too often. So I really like your suggestions about some things that we can do to help us tune in and perhaps shift our mindset, that sometimes limiting mindset about what's possible. Because at the end of the day, kate and I bet you'll agree, especially as someone who started a company at 58 and now has this thriving business at 62, that is just helping to change so many lives that we're just getting started. There aren't any limits to what we can do or who we can be.

33:24 - Kate Wells (Guest)
I absolutely agree and I want to share that. Just this past weekend I was at a medical conference and I was the one doing the training on hormones to these doctors. I was the one pointing out we were focused particularly on postmenopause and live postmenopause. But I, the non-clinician, was doing this training because I have this information and experience and knowledge and if I stopped to let myself freak out over this, I don't think I would have ever done it, but I didn't. I just thought, you know, this is why I'm here, and so many of them came up afterwards and said that was so helpful. Perspective that I took was very much from a patient perspective. You could just never know where you might go if you just embrace those things that you're good at. Hence that list.

34:18 - Wendy Battles (Host)
How awesome is that that you got to share your gifts, and it's such a perfect example of let's not sell ourselves short. Anything is possible and even sometimes, things that we might think from a distance oh, I wanna do that one day, but maybe you don't really feel like you can do it. But you can Like if we. I know it's not as simple as if you believe it. It happens. It's not that obviously that simple, but I do believe that when we believe in ourselves, we can manifest almost anything, and I don't mean it happens overnight, but we obviously take action toward that, certainly. But that's a great example of this. As you step back, as you think about midlife and all the things that you've experienced, all the things that you've done, if you kind of step back from a 10,000-foot level and you think about lessons learned from reinventing yourself, Kate, what would you say is the biggest lesson you learned about yourself through all of these different things you've done over the last several years?

35:18 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Well, gosh, the biggest thing I've ever learned over this is I think it's to do with trust, learning to know what feels right, the right thing to do, picking right action. Knowing that when I am aligned, when I am picking right action, right words, you know, right thoughts, right action what I'm supposed to be doing will roll out in front of me and my work is just to step into that. You know, like the analogy of stepping stones across a river, you know you take that first step. You don't necessarily know, you can't see the rest of those steps. If you take that first step and you trust because you're in the right place at the right time, that next stone will arrive.

36:03
And I have learned to trust that. And there's another one. There's another one that I have learned how incredibly amazing it is to live a life where you are living your mission. It is just the most incredible gift to do mission work. I don't mean going overseas on a religious mission in the Congo, I mean doing the work that you're here to do. I am so grateful, so deeply grateful, for having found that and because of that, you know it's something that I look at with reverence and you know not to not misuse it, but to always come from a heart-centered place in all of it. So so lucky, so fortunate.

36:44 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I completely connect with what you just said and this idea of finding what you're meant to do and arriving at that.

36:55
You know, arriving at something that feels so natural, like yes, because I feel the same way about the work that I'm doing, like I feel like I spent so many years searching, like I know there's some.

37:05
I kept always feeling like I know there's something more I'm meant to do, but I don't know what it is. And I and I knew I hadn't found it yet, even being successful in other jobs, I always felt like something was missing. So when I uncovered it was using my voice for good, to motivate, teach, you know, inspire people that I was like, yes, this is it. And I feel like when you figure that out, then things to your point, your initial point about trust, self-trust that when you get the wisdom to know this is it, then it's easier to trust that things are unfolding, it's easier, and then I think we can to your point, we can move through with more ease and more grace. You trust that the right things are going to show up and that you can follow that path and that you're taking the right action. But it's so much easier to identify that I think when we have found what we came here to do, and to me that is the greatest joy in midlife to be like yes, I finally know.

38:10 - Kate Wells (Guest)
You know, by the time we get to this point in our lives, we have learned so much, we have knowledge. We've got another 40 years where we can bring that awesomeness to the world. I think women should be empowered to say, to say forget this menopause nonsense, get my hormones balanced, get my right nutrients in my body, get out of my way because I'm coming.

38:31 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I'm coming, I hear that I am coming. People Watch out, absolutely, absolutely. And speaking of being empowered, because really our whole conversation today has been about self-empowerment. How can we feel more empowered in our bodies, how can we appreciate our midlife bodies, how can we build our midlife menopausal toolkit? And I know people listening are saying how can I find out more about hurler games, how can I find out more about their products that might be able to help me have like joyful sex again and not just going through the motions? So it's so important. So please tell us, kate, how can people find these products?

39:16 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Well, best place to go is to our website, which is wwwparlor-gamescom. We have a blog there, a blog section, where there are over 100 articles that are all science-based, that talk about many of the aspects of this medical transition. You know what on earth is going on and what are some solutions. That's a great place to go. You can find us on Facebook as well, and we do have some videos recorded on YouTube as well.

39:55 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Wonderful, and we'll put all of those references in the show notes so people can easily navigate to find all those things. I also wanna ask you more personally where can people find you? Because I know people are also thinking well, kate is so cool, she has won this really fascinating reinvention story and she, you know like I want to follow her. So are you? Are you on social media in addition to facebook?

40:21 - Kate Wells (Guest)
where, uh, parlor games is on instagram. Well, that's a way to find it. I am personally not from the point of view. You know, you and I were talking a little bit earlier about finding quiet space. I, as the person who does a lot of the operating of the business, I have a lot coming at me during the day. I'm also busy reading and, you know, continuing to build my knowledge. I have a lot of content coming at me and I need quiet space and so I draw a boundary around social media. I love it because it's an opportunity to exchange ideas and share information, and so we have that, holigames. But personally I'm kind of a quiet person and I like the opportunity to sort of retreat into my shell. But anyone who has questions, they can reach us through our email at kate@parlor-games.com. Wonderful Thank you.

41:15 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I appreciate the fact that you set boundaries and you know yourself and you know what you need, which I think is true for all of us. We have to just figure out what that is. But I also appreciate that you do have a Parlor Games Instagram account so that people can also, because we have a lot of people who are into social media, that are listeners and they wanna go follow Parlor Games, they wanna find out more, they wanna see the content that you're posting, even if it's not you directly, but it is, you know, your team. So I really appreciate that. Kate, I have to tell you that this conversation oh my gosh, it was so fantastic. I am so appreciative of your time.

42:02
I'm appreciative of your expertise and really helping to enlighten us about our midlife bodies, because I know we're all in different, we all have different levels of knowledge and understanding and, yes, some of us maybe have done a lot of research or know more, but others of us are at the beginning and the information you shared was really invaluable about you know our changing bodies, but also what we can do, and the fact that we don't have to put up with. We do not have to put up with just being resigned to. This is just the way it is, just like there's a narrative about aging women and you know you can just hang it all up. That's pretty much it. It's the same thing with our sex lives. We can have an amazing sex life. We can be not dry. There are ways that we can work on our hormones in a safe way. That also can feel much more satisfying. So I really am appreciative of you enlightening us and really sharing both your expertise and all your wisdom about your reinvention story. So thank you so much for joining me today.

43:11 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Wendy, it's just been an honor. I am so blown away by who you really. You want to change the world for women too. You know we have to have people like you who have found this place to bring your gift. There's so much that women can do for other women. We have always done that throughout the duration of time that there have been women as women on this planet. But it takes leaders like you, it takes visionaries like you to pull together information from a wide range of people so that you can inform and inspire your listeners, and so I am deeply grateful that you invited me just to have my small part of that. Thank you very much, my pleasure.

44:02 - Wendy Battles (Host)
And Dan, thank you for your wonderful comments. I appreciate that. So you very much, my pleasure. And then thank you for your warm, wonderful comments. I appreciate that. So I think that I think what I can say is that we are both living on purpose. We've leaned into our missions to be of service to others and it just feels like we both get this indescribable. I mean, I guess it is describable, but this really immense joy from you know, living on purpose.

44:27 - Kate Wells (Guest)
Yeah, I think we do, I do. It's wonderful to meet that and be in the same space as that.

44:34 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Thank you, thank you. Now, that's what I'm talking about. This episode with Kate Eye opening. I learned a lot. I knew some of it, but I learned so much more and I realized that sometimes I don't know what I don't know, even being post-menopausal. There are things I'm still learning. And you know our sexual health. It's really, really important. Why shouldn't we make this part of our life, as well as all the other parts in midlife, as joyful as possible? So I loved what she shared. You can obviously, in the show notes you can find out more information. We've got links to all of the things that she talked about, about parlor games and also a link to Magic Mind, so you can check that out too if you want to work on the mental aspects of less brain fog and increased focus during your menopausal journey. But just so many resources to help us. 

45:38
I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I did and do me a big favor. One rate and review this episode. If you found this impactful, insightful, eye-opening, please take a moment and pop over to Apple podcast and leave me a five-star rating and review, because it makes it easier for other people to find the podcast and we want as many women as possible to reinvent in a joyful way, right? So thank you for that. And one more thing share this episode with a woman in your life or your whole tribe, a friend, your sister, a colleague, anyone who could benefit from hearing Kate's journey and getting an understanding for what she's doing and how she's helping to change women's lives. That would be amazing and I would really appreciate it. So thank you in advance. I can't wait to see you again in a couple of weeks for our next episode. Until then, rebels, keep shining your light. The world needs you and everything that you have to offer.