Empowered Pause: Redefining Menopause as a Journey of Reinvention & Joy

Welcome to this transformative episode of the Reinvention Rebels podcast! As we celebrate World Menopause Day on October 18 and recognize October as Menopause Month, we delve into the empowering potential of menopause. 

Discover the empowering journey of navigating menopause with grace, ease, and joy as we challenge the often-negative narratives surrounding this natural phase of life. 

I'm fresh from the vibrant Life in the Pause Festival in New York City, an event that reimagines menopause, curated by my inspiring friends Monique Cupid and Dixie Lincoln-Nichols. 

In this episode we:

• Delve into the transformative experiences of Black women, highlighting how menopause can evolve into a powerful and joyful journey rather than a struggle. 
  
  
• Offer insights, resources, and encouragement to reinvent your menopausal experience through community and connection - whether you're just noticing perimenopausal symptoms or are post-menopausal, 
  
  
• Underscore the importance of being proactive and informed, advocating for yourself through conversations with friends, colleagues, and healthcare providers. 
  
  
• Discover why hormone level testing and finding tailored solutions for symptoms are crucial, and how the "I Didn't Give Up" (IDG) award can symbolize your perseverance. 
  
  
• Embrace the endless opportunities for reinvention that midlife presents, We can approach this life phase with empowerment and enthusiasm, not dread and anxiety.

Mentioned in the Episode:

Free Gift: Ready to think differently and enthusiastically about midlife reinvention? Menopause ushers in new possibilities for growth. Download my free guide, 100 Ways to Reinvent Yourself in Midlife, to kickstart your midlife reinvention ideas.

Magic Mind: Give Magic Mind mental performance shots a try. Go to magicmind.com/rebels to save up to 40% off of your first subscription or 20% off a one-time order. Use code REBELS20 at checkout.

Nnabi: Revolutionizing the way you experience perimenopause. 

Kick your midlife fears and uncertainty to the curb and start your Reinvention Rebels journey today. Learn about my audio program, Midlife Reinvention From The Inside Out: 8 Essentials to Greenlight Your Life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Menopause With Grace
• 9:31 Proactive Steps in Menopausal Reinvention
• 21:00 Reinventing Your Menopausal Journey With Ease

Transcript

Hey. Hey, everybody.

Welcome to another episode of the Reinvention Rebels podcast. I am your host, Wendy. I am so glad that you are dropping by to join me for this episode today. And if you are brand new to first time, welcome aboard. This is the place to come for so much inspiration about that next chapter in our life and what it looks like when we reinvent ourselves. The amazing self discoveries and possibilities that exist. And the truth is, they're already within us.

We just have to tease them out. And that's what I do. I help you through amazing guest episodes and sharing stories of fierce women who have reinvented in their fifties, their sixties, their seventies and beyond to find that self awakening and live life on purpose like they perhaps never have before, or they are in new ways in this phase of their lives. So I'm really excited that you've joined me today. And I'm excited about this episode because I am just back from the life in the pause festival.

It was in New York City. It is a menopause festival that is designed, curated, created by my two amazing friends, Monique Cupid and Dixie Lincoln Nichols. And I'm going to tell you more about it in this brief solo episode. But I wanted to really center this episode on three simple actions that we can take to navigate our menopausal journey with ease and grace and joy. And I know those three words aren't things we typically associate with menopause. Like, it's going to be easy, that I can navigate it on my terms gracefully, that I can actually find joy in something that it seems like I'm losing. So those are sometimes the things that we think about.

And I know that it's not always aligned this way of thinking with often the experiences that we have. But I want to encourage you today to rethink what could be possible on this journey. Journey. Because I've had it in my mind, certainly this limited narrative about menopause and not necessarily a positive one. And I think that's so much of what we see, the narrative and the media is about the things we're losing, not all the things that we're gaining, because it can be a pretty amazing experience if we're open to it. So no matter where you are in the experience, whether you aren't even menopausal yet, you're maybe in your thirties, it's like, oh, please, that that's no time soon. Maybe you're somewhere in your forties and you're starting to experience some symptoms of perimenopause.

Maybe you are officially post menopausal, wherever you might be. We're going to talk about that. There's something for everyone in this episode as we think about how we can reinvent the experience of it all and what it could be. So in all its many different stages. I'm going to share some resources with you. I'm going to share some insights that I certainly have gotten, especially at festival that I attended, and just this idea about how we can be more curious about what could be different or better in this experience. But before we get to that, can I tell you a little bit about magic mind?

You may have heard me talk about it on episodes before this, but if you haven't, it's a mental performance shot that I drink every day with my coffee. It's only a few ounces, yet magic mind packs a powerful punch. Why do I drink it? Magic mind is full of good for you ingredients like Lion's Mane, mushrooms, matcha, and ashwagandha. I call it my little green elixir because it helps me with calm, go with the flow vibes, and who can't use more of those? I'm also a big fan of magic mind because it's helping me navigate my menopausal journey. Ever experience brain fog or find it hard to concentrate?

Well, I've been there and it's helped me with that. Need a boost of energy to help power your busy day? It helps with that, too. I invite you to give magic mind a spin and find out how it could be your elixir and a helpful mental performance shot for you too, to help with increased focus, productivity, and of course, some very cool chill vibes. The great news is that you can save up to 40% off your first subscription or 20% off a one time order with my code RebeL 20. Just go to magicmind.com rebels at checkout. Be sure to use Rebel 20 to score this deal.

That's Rebel 20. And of course, all of the details are in the show notes. Life in the pause let me tell you more about this extraordinary experience. These two women, Monique and Dixie, they started this last year in 2023. This was the second annual festival, so it's in New York. So it brings together a lot of local women from New York. I live in Connecticut, New Jersey, but this year I thought it was fascinating that women came from as far away as Colorado, North Carolina, Oregon to talk about this experience of menopause and how we can think of it differently, joyfully, powerfully, we can take back the experience and make it our own in new ways and the conference especially focuses on the experiences of black women and menopause. Why? Because studies show that black women tend to have more severe symptoms as they go through their menopausal journey than white women do.

And it's for many different reasons. It might be because of lack of access to healthcare. It could be because of structural racism that causes incredible amounts of stress, and that stress can lead to higher levels of cortisol, which can impact the menopausal journey. So it was especially a place to come for black women, but it was open to all women, and there was a diverse range of women at this festival. And we were all in a safe space. We were all learning together. We were building our knowledge, we were becoming empowered, and we were connecting in the most beautiful ways.

Women I never met before, women I saw last year that I reconnected with, it was just a phenomenal experience, and it was a mix of the venue. It was in this very cool loft, kind of a space that was near the high line, if, you know, New York is on the west side. It was in this light filled space that just created this really open experience. DJ Brighter days was there with some fabulous vibes for the day.

And the women. The youngest woman who attended was 24. The oldest woman was 80. So you can imagine the experiences, the wisdom, the sharing that was taking place. So throughout the day, there were different talks, mostly panels of experts talking about different things. There was a medical doctor and a naturopath talking about, you know, menopausal symptoms and hormones. There was a panel on how we advocate for ourselves more fully and get really clear about how we can ask the questions and get the resources we need, which is something for so many of us.

You know, we don't know what to even ask. We don't know what we don't know.

So that was incredibly helpful. There was a great presentation on our sexuality and menopause and what happens and what research shows about women. I facilitated a fantastic conversation with an amazing woman or Linda McIntosh about redefining ourselves and reinventing in midlife. As we go through these changes, there was an amazing keynote at the beginning about stepping into our own and building community. So there were so many different insights and information. I took copious notes, and just looking around the room, I felt like it was a sight to behold. Looking at these amazing women all coming together, largely african american women, and seeing people that look like me and not necessarily being one of the only ones is often the case.

But then also seeing all these other women who had come together with us and we all learned together and connected and grew. So it just got me thinking about, how could I take this information and really share it with you? And that's what I wanted to do today. I wanted to talk about three proactive ways that we can reinvent our menopausal experience. I will tell you that going into menopause, I didn't really know what to expect. And my mom wasn't especially helpful because she had had a hysterectomy in her forties. She had suffered from fibroids, and she never really talked about it, though it wasn't the era where people were like, let me tell you about my menopausal experience.

So when I asked her, she didn't really even remember if she got a lot of hot flashes. Then there was my experience. Also had a hysterectomy because I had a lot of fibroids. I tried many different things with the fibroids that were unsuccessful. So I finally ended up having hysterectomy when I was 45. And the good news for me is that they didn't take out my ovaries, so it meant I wasn't immediately forced into menopause. I also was at the stage where I wasn't in perimenopause yet, so I wasn't having any symptoms.

And at the beginning, it was great because I didn't have period, and everything felt good. But, of course, you know how it is. Those things all change over time. And because I didn't have the physical marker of period becoming inconsistent and then not getting it. And it's that very visual, physical trigger that you're starting in perimenopause or things are kind of erratic. So for me, it was a really different experience, and it got me thinking about one, that beginning phase of perimenopause, and what I thought was so cool at the conference or at the festival is that when I started, I didn't know about many resources, about the menopausal experience at all. I didn't know what I was doing.

I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know what to ask. I felt like I was totally in the dark. So once I started getting the symptoms, I wasn't even sure what to do with them. I mean, I started talking to my doctor, but I certainly wasn't prepared. One of the things that was great about the festival is that there were all these different vendors there that have all kinds of products and services to help support us as we journey through menopause. And one of the things that was so cool is that there were two vendors.

One, I can't remember their names. One was Nabi, the other, I can't remember what her company was called, but it was amazing. She was a young woman. But these companies are both focused on resources for peri menopausal women. So when you're just beginning that journey and going through those stages of things starting to change, of maybe getting hot flashes or being moody or, you know, just the. The beginning of that hormonal shift that causes these drops in our hormones that can result in getting hot flashes, mood swings, depression, I mean, there are like, so many symptoms that we can go through, I've learned so many symptoms I didn't even know about. What I loved is that they have resources that can help.

And I think so much of this is beginning to explore things at the beginning instead of waiting until things are really bad. If you begin to notice that you're in perimenopause or you're getting some of these symptoms, what can you do? Well, you could look into resources, and I'll put some of these resources I'm mentioning in the show notes. You can start early. You can start by talking to your friends, your colleagues. Are you experiencing any of these things? Starting to have conversations on the early side, and don't be afraid to talk about it.

Ask what's working for other people? What are they doing? What resources do they have? Be proactive. Because what I found is that it's trial and error.

We're all different. We need different things.

Not everything works for everybody. So just because a friend might be doing it, doesn't mean it will work for you. But it's a great opportunity to ask some questions about it and begin to have a conversation with people you trust that can lead to other resources. So step number one and our three proactive ways to reinvent this menopausal journey is to start exploring when you're in perimenopause and start that conversation. Two is to really be proactive around your healthcare. And there are so many different ways to do that. Again, it's not a one size fits all, but if we can ideally not wait until we have a ton of symptoms, and then we're miserable.

Night sweats, hot flashes that seem out of control, this constant fanning, you know, when you're at work and it's. It's hard to deal with it. Well, just being as proactive as we can, and no matter where you are right now in that journey, you might say, I'm already having all those things, but I haven't really talked to people or I've talked to people, but I still don't feel satisfied. Well, there's many things we can do. We can by all means, start with our practitioners. Our OB Gyn is a great place to start. And it's interesting because one of my good friends joined me at the festival, and she was saying that when she walks into her ObgyN Ob GYN's office, it feels like it's so much focused on the Ob part, right.

Women having babies and going through that process, and maybe less on the gyn part. But we have the ability to be proactive and be our own best advocates. So start by talking to your primary care doctor or your Ob Gyn about the things that you're experiencing. You also can go to a menopause specialist. There's a couple different resources for finding a certified menopause practitioner, but there are people who specialize in the menopausal experience that are trained in helping women that are going through this navigate it with more ease and helping them find the right solutions for them. And I'll. I'll add that to the show notes as well.

But that's a great place to go to find a specialist because you might have a fantastic ob Gyn, but they still might not be a menopause specialist, and there might be other people that could add more value for you. The other thing to consider are natural approaches.

So I have gone to my Ob Gyn. I've also gone to a naturopath. And I found the naturopath to be especially helpful, helping me with things like hot flashes. And I'm going to tell you, it was trial and error. We tried a lot of different things. Not everything worked, but that was a good path for me. When you go to a specialist, someone that can help you, whether it's your ob gyn or menopause specialist, they can also help you by getting your hormone levels tested, because that's a great way to know, you know, where are you, how much are they fluctuating right now?

And then later on, so you can really gain helpful information. And then, of course, having a conversation with your doctor about is hormone replacement. Right. For me, and there's so much to unpack about that. We talked at length about that at the festival. It was very eye opening. It's a conversation you definitely should have with your healthcare provider because there's so many different options just with hormones to consider.

And again, it's an individual thing, so you really need to talk to them about it. One other thing that I thought was such a proactive step that we talked about in the panel was the medical experts, was about scheduling more than one appointment a year to talk to your doctor. I know that often on many insurance plans, we get that one appointment per year, one appointment to have that conversation. And you're trying to fit a lot of information into a small amount of time. And I thought what was so cool is our health is an investment. And yes, insurance might pay for one visit, but is it worth it for you to go back maybe six months later to have a more in depth conversation with your doctor or to talk about how things are working, that you're trying or not working to then adjust based on the symptoms that you're having and what you're experiencing? And I loved that because I would never, would have even thought of that.

It's like, oh, I once your appointment and I squeeze it all in. But there's so many different ways we can reinvent this experience, even with our doctors, our healthcare providers, even people we've had a trusted relationship with for many years. But our needs are changing. So the conversation needs to change. So that's, number two, is being proactive with your healthcare providers as we reinvent on our menopausal journey. And number three, shifting our mindset. Shifting our mindset is an amazing way to reinvent this menopausal experience.

And for me, it starts with this idea that I didn't have at the time. I mean, now I'm post menopausal, right? So I have a very different perspective. But I see this as a new beginning, even post menopausal. I see this whole experience as a new beginning, as a new opportunity to create and invite in new things in my life. And instead of this idea of loss, which is one way we can look at it, I'm losing this part of my life. I see it as this idea of rebirth.

It's my opportunity to usher in new possibilities, as evidenced by I started the podcast. I started the podcast during this time. If that's not an idea about starting fresh and infusing my life in new ways with new purpose, I don't know what is. And that looks different for each of us. Just like our bodies are different and what we need from our healthcare practitioners is different, it's the same thing when it comes to our mindset and possibilities and reinvention in menopause, it looks different for all of us. But one of the things that we talked about was that when we enter into this phase and our hormones show shift. It creates this opening for us to focus on ourselves.

Estrogen is so important for so many functions in our body, but also it's so important for this. All the caregiving that we do, it helps infuse us with the caregiving and our thinking about others. And it's really interesting that when we go through menopause, the focus tends to shift to ourselves. We've spent so much time giving and a lot less time on ourselves. And this is a time to ask ourselves, what do I want? Not what do my kids want from me or my spouse or my family, but what do I want?

What do I need? What does that look like for me? And what does that mean for the next ten years or 20 years? Where do I see myself when we can shift our mindset and be more open to things? We can invite in those conversations that we can start to have with ourselves. What does that look like? While we were at the festival, during my segment, I was moderating this lifestyle panel, which was really discussion with this amazing human.

Her name is Arlinda McIntosh. She is a beautiful designer. She designs the most exquisite and funky and fun and vibrant clothing. And her company is called sophista funk. And she is something to behold. We were in conversation. I asked her all kinds of questions about her reinvention journey, what it looks like at 66, how she's showing up for herself because she's already this amazing, bold person.

But she is full of wisdom, wisdom from many years. And she had so many amazing things to say. One of the things that really stood out for me in her story that I love that she uses as her midlife elixir, you might call it, is this phrase, I didn't give up. She said, you know, sometimes we're like, how come I didn't get an award from someone for, from people, for something I've done? And I loved her idea that we could give ourselves our own award. We could give ourselves the I didn't give up award. Because, y'all, that is so true.

There's so many things we haven't given up on. We haven't given up on ourselves. We have persevered. We have been persistent. We have been determined. We have continued on our journey. And that was just a perfect example of that.

So I loved what she had to say about that. But there were so many other moments of wisdom. But that one particularly stood out, that this isn't the time to give up on ourselves. We need to give ourselves the I didn't give up, as she called it, the IDG.

The IDG award. We can award that to ourselves and remind ourselves just how fierce, fabulous, persistent we are. So that's all part of this idea of shifting our mindset to be proactive as we reinvent throughout our menopausal journey, whether it's perimenopause or we're post menopausal. So all of that to say, as we wrap up, and you noodle, on what I've shared today, I want you to think about this idea that there are endless possibilities for us to reinvent throughout our menopausal journey. And it's going to look different for each of us. So there's no right or wrong way to do it. It's just finding our way.

We can reinvent how we relate to our caregivers. We can reinvent our boldness in finding the resources we need and being persistent. We can reinvent advocating for ourselves in ways we haven't before. We can reinvent what we want our life to look like in midlife and beyond, where we see ourselves in 510 20 years. Honestly, there are no limits. And it all starts with us. It starts with our proactive baby steps to go in that direction.

So my challenge for you is what's one thing that you can do wherever you are in your journey, whether it's you haven't even started this journey, menopause yet, or you're perimenopausal and you're experiencing symptoms, or it's all said and done and you're postmenopausal and you're thinking about reimagining things. What's one step you can take in the next week to take some kind of action to make you feel better, more empowered, more joyful, more energetic, to feel like you can navigate things with more ease? One action I want you to think about one action that you can take, and I'll suggest that one thing that you can do is to download my free gift for you, which is called 100 ways to reinvent yourself in midlife. This really is an add on to this conversation about the menopausal journey, because part of it we talked about is, like, reinventing who you want to be, whatever that is. And I've got 100 really cool ideas just to get you thinking.

Remember, I talked about that? Like, where do you want to be in 510 20 years? Well, this is the way to start that conversation with yourself, because this is just all about you and what you want and what you need, whether it's on the menopausal journey or it's after that. But let's start to have that conversation. So I'm linking to that in the show notes. I'd love for you to download it and take a look. A hundred different ideas to spark your thinking. Remember at the beginning I talked about how this was a conversation about how we can make the whole experience of menopause our journey, one that has more ease and grace and joy.

Well, this is one way to do this and I can't wait for you to check it out. So I am so happy you joined me today. And I want to mention, too, which I probably didn't even talk enough about. So we're going to have to have another episode about this. The whole idea of community, and one of the things I love is that Dixie and Monique are starting this very cool thing that you can check out on their website, lifeinthepause. com. i'll put it in the show notes, creating communities where women can come together to talk about their menopausal experience.

Because we need our people, we need to build community and we need to lean on each other as resources to help us. Thank you so much for listening today. Thank you for joining me on this solo episode while I unpacked this whole experience I've had recently with life in the pause and the three things that we can do to proactively reinvent our menopausal journey. I hope you got some great insights from this. I'd love for you to give me a shout out on social media. Come find me on Instagram. Dm me.

I'm at reinvention rebels start following me if you're not. Let's start and or continue this conversation because, y'all, we need each other to navigate this with more ease, grace, and joy. And I thank you for listening. And I'll be back in just a couple of weeks with a new episode with another amazing guest. I cannot wait for you to listen until then. Rebels, keep shining your light. The world needs you and all that you have to offer.