Fierce at 57 - Tricky Miki's Midlife Remix: From Bar Owner to Filmmaker to DJ and Beyond

What if you could completely transform your life at any stage? 

Find inspiration from my guest, Tricky Miki, a remarkable filmmaker, DJ, producer, and entrepreneur who has fearlessly danced through diverse realms of the entertainment industry. Miki's story is not just one of career shifts; it's a testament to the power of embracing life's narratives over material possessions. 

Her journey from opening a bar in Brooklyn to creating the eye-opening documentary "Born into Porn" highlights the profound impact of living boldly and unapologetically, encouraging us to rewrite our own stories with courage and curiosity.

Join us as we:

• unpack the vital themes of reinvention and self-belief, guided by Miki's experiences since 2010. 
• underscore the importance of embracing failure and success alike, as stepping stones to true happiness and fulfillment. 
• learn how taking a chance on yourself can lead to liberation, new passions, and a more meaningful life.
• explore the importance of setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and nurturing our varied interests as "multi-potentialites."

Thank you for joining us on this enlightening episode of “Reinvention Rebels.” I hope Miki’s journey inspires you to dream big, embrace your passions, and explore your potential for reinvention.

Connect with Tricky Miki:

Instagram: @the_only_tricky_miki

Mentioned in this episode:

Magic Mind: Give Magic Mind mental performance shots a try. Go to magicmind.com/rebels to save up to 40% off of your first subscription or 20% off a one-time order. Use code REBELS20 at checkout.

How to reinvent in midlife:🎁Download my free gift, 100 Ways to Reinvent in Midlife. Let's get started on your next reinvention!

Podcast Recommendation: Looking for inspiration about how to thrive as you age? Listen to The Fit Strong Women Over 50 podcast with hosts Chris and Jill.

Kick your midlife fears and uncertainty to the curb and start your Reinvention Rebels journey today. Learn about my audio program, Midlife Reinvention From The Inside Out: 8 Essentials to Greenlight Your Life.

Transcript

00:00 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
After I left San Francisco, I was there for two years. I moved back to Minneapolis and I started DJing and I did a podcast that I was telling you about called the Black Helpline, and I am now a producer at a creative agency. None of these things probably would have happened had I not taken that leap of faith and just gone. Okay, I gotta get out of this world that I've created for myself, because it's not working. 

00:39 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Welcome to Reinvention Rebels stories of brave and unapologetic women, 50 to 90 years young, who have boldly reinvented life on their own terms to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, Wendy Battles. I need to kick your fears to the curb, do it scared and step into who you are meant to be in midlife and beyond. These amazing women, these reinvention rebels, can help light your reinvention path. Come join us and let's get inspired together. 

01:16
Hey hey, rebels, welcome to another episode of the Reinvention Rebels podcast. I am your host, wendy. I'm so glad you are joining me today. This is the place to come for inspiration, possibilities, new perspective about what it means to re-invent ourselves. You are a re-invention rebel. Maybe you don't even know it yet, but re-invention rebels are brave. They are bold. They are bold. They are unapologetic in deciding. 

01:48
Now is the time to step up in our lives, in midlife and anywhere beyond, to live the life we want to live, to reinvent in the way we want to, on our terms, and we all have our own story. There's no right or wrong way to reinvent. There's only your way. And as you open up and listen to yourself and begin to see new possibilities, anything is possible. And you know, I love sharing stories of women who are doing just that, to inspire all of us, myself included, about what that looks like, what it could look like, how I could step up in my own life and try on new things, sometimes fail, start over, but find my groove, find my path when the time is right. And today I'm so very excited about my guest, tricky Mickey I'm going to introduce her to you in a moment and our conversation which is fun, light but deep at the same time, very profound, full of possibilities that you're going to learn about from Mickey's journey. 

03:02
But before we get to that, I have to ask you if you listened to the last episode of the Reinvention Rebels podcast about navigating midlife stuckness. I don't know about you, but I have been stuck many times in midlife, like just stopped in my tracks, not even sure where to go next. It took me a while to recalibrate and one of the things that has been really successful is using gratitude Using gratitude to help me navigate the ups and downs and get unstuck. And that's what this episode is about Three strategies to use gratitude to help us get unstuck. I'm going to link to it in the show notes, but it is a fabulous listen and, as we're all trying to figure it out, plus, of course, it is the season of gratitude, although it never is out of season, but I know around Thanksgiving, hanukkah, christmas, new Year's, we all lean even more into gratitude. So I want to encourage you to take a listen to that Without further ado. 

04:09
Let's get to this amazing conversation with Tricky Mickey. Tricky Mickey is a filmmaker, dj and producer who has worked in multiple realms of the entertainment industry. She has successfully taken on the role of creator, writer, researcher, assistant producer, producer and director. Mickey has also been an entrepreneur and business operations manager for over 20 years and has overseen the building of businesses from concept through creation. She's a civil rights and social justice advocate and I will tell you that Tricky Mickey has an extraordinarily interesting re-invention journey. Mickey, welcome to the Re-Invention Rebels guest chair. 

05:14 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited for this conversation. 

05:18 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I am too, and before we actually even get into your story, which has many different parts to it and is really interesting, I do want to tell everyone how we actually even get into your story, which has many different parts to it and is really interesting. I do want to tell everyone how we actually connected, which was very serendipitous because my best friend from high school, also named Nikki. I saw her over the summer when I was in Minneapolis visiting. She took me to an event where you were the DJ. We connected and it was just one of those, I guess, meant to be things that here you are with this great reinvention story. 

05:47 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
It was a fun day. It was a fun fun day. 

05:52 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Yes, it was, yes, it was. So I know that you have reinvented yourself in diverse ways, in interesting ways, throughout midlife. You're always up for an adventure. You're not afraid to start over. Can you tell me a little bit about your reinvention journey? What sparked your interest and what are some of the things that you've done as you've reinvented in midlife? 

06:20 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
You know, I guess it would depend on what, where I went back to to start this conversation, like how far back into my own personal history I go back, I think this latest iteration of who I am began in 2010. I had just opened a bar in Brooklyn, New York, and I found myself feeling really trapped by it. I wasn't making enough money to actually sustain life, so I was required to have yet another bartending job so that my bar would work it could actually work as a bar, which is kind of ironic. 

06:51
Yeah, it's really, it's messed up. So one day I was watching a documentary on the making of Deep Throat you know the porn and they were talking to the daughter of Linda Lovelace you know one of the most notorious porn stars ever, and I thought to myself well shit, what was her life like? You know, I can't imagine what her life was, like the daughter, I mean can't imagine what the daughter's life must have been like to be the daughter, to be the offspring of the most notorious porn star, basically of all time. Like I can't imagine what she would have gone through. I can't imagine what she was. You know what types of harassment in school, her peers, all this kind of stuff. 

07:26
So I started thinking about it and, to make a long story short, I did a documentary on children born to porn stars, called Born into Porn. Ironically enough, and although it was really a super interesting journey, talking to people, getting to know some people, hearing stories, some of which I could use, some of which they asked me not to and, out of respect, I didn't Basically it came down to a lot of people were not ready to talk about their story and a lot of people were not ready to hear that story. But it taught me a lot, not only about just the process of making a documentary film, but of course, it taught me a lot about social stigmas and how we are just so preconceived to think about people in certain ways, and jobs in certain ways, and sex work in certain ways and the people who are engaged in sex work. So that's, that was the jumping off point for tricky mickey 2.0. So I made that film, I sold my portion of the bar in 2014. 

08:25
And I moved to San Francisco where I volunteered with the homeless and indigent people in the Tenderloin. 

08:32
So I was out there volunteering with harm reduction and doing you know those kinds of outreach work. And then I was also volunteering at a sex worker health clinic and interviewing people on their experiences, and so I did a bunch of kind of one-on-one interviews with sex workers and basically whatever they wanted to talk about. So after that, after I did that, after I left San Francisco I was there for two years I moved back to Minneapolis and I started DJing and I did a podcast that I was telling you about called the Black Helpline, and I am now a producer at a creative agency. None of these things probably would have happened had I not taken that leap of faith and just gone. Okay, I got to get out of this world that I've created for myself because it's not working and I'm still in the process of working my way through things that interest me. But I feel really comfortable and confident in the decisions that I'm making now and it's, I think, a lot of it just has to do with that whole YOLO, like you really do only live once. 

09:34
And also the fear of missing out. But at least now I don't feel stifled like I did when I was a child, where I said I want to do that, I want to do that and I want to do that, I want to do that and I want to do this, and then it would cripple me, essentially because there were so many things that I wanted to do I didn't know where to start. And now I've. I've narrowed it down to the few things that really interest me and I'm doing them, and I'm doing them to the best of my ability and I'm happy. 

09:58 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love that you are going for it and it's what my friend Randy calls a multi-potentialite. You have all these different things that interest you multiple different interests and this desire to pursue them and to explore. And part of what I hear in you saying that you're going for it is this curiosity, this curiosity about things what could be possible if I did that? And curiosity and a willingness to try it. But it's okay if it doesn't work out. It feels very much like let me explore the possibilities, see what resonates with me and kind of go from there. 

10:35 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
I've given myself permission to fail because in failure you can really learn a lot. And so, going back to what I was trying to say about the film that I made, it's certainly no glowing great you know piece of cinematic anything, but I learned a lot and with failures you learn a lot. And I'm not saying that I'm out there trying to fail, I don't you know it's not like anybody wants to fail, but I'm not crippled by the idea of failing. 

11:01
I am not stifled or hindered by the fear, because I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. And the more that I learn, the better I'll come back. And each time I come back with new knowledge, something else is strengthened. So I'm really happy that I've reached this point where failure is an option, but so is success. It's all fine, it's all part of the everyday kind of movement through life. Every day I try to do something a little interesting that I can look back on. I try to fill every day, even if it's just something silly and fun and a little kooky, I try to fill every one of my days. 

11:42 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I like that mindset that you have about how you're approaching this, because I think that some women who are midlife who are listening to this podcast, who want to reinvent or maybe they've tried and it hasn't worked out the way they wanted to that I think that sometimes we can give up on ourselves and part of what I hear you saying is that you bet on yourself. You bet on yourself, you believed in yourself, and that self-belief I feel like is sometimes missing for midlife women who have been the caretaker, the do what everyone else wants, not this idea of what you're saying, like I'm betting on myself and I'm going to do what I want to do to really get the most out of my life. Was there ever a time when you didn't have that feeling, when you weren't betting on yourself, or is there something that shifted, that helped you believe in your abilities? 

12:31 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Did something shift my belief in my abilities? No, well, I don't know if that's a yes or no answer. What I do know is that what shifted was my desire to have a different life, because the life I was leading wasn't working for me, and so I figured that didn't matter what I was doing, as long as I was doing something different. Doing something else, just doing something. Do anything. Yeah, my friend Rye says just do anything, do anything. Do it, just do whatever, right. And it's to just do whatever you want. If it doesn't work for you, stop doing it. 

13:06
And I know it sounds really simple and I'm putting it in very simplistic terms, but at the end of the day, if something is draining you, if something is dragging you down, if something is depressing, you stop it. 

13:18
So, for instance, I owned this bar, and the bar was never going to go anywhere where two people were going to be able to draw an income from it and make it something that was going to work for them and all that other good stuff and that I found really depressing. And I found the fact that I had to have yet another job just to survive in New York City while I owned a business really depressing and I said none of this is working for me and I can't see this in the long term. I don't see any long-term positive outcome for this. So I need to just cut my losses and get out. So I did. I cut my losses, and by my losses I mean a significant financial loss, because I was that unhappy and the minute I handed my former business partner my set of keys, it was like the air smelled a little sweeter and the sun shone brighter and it was like this tremendous weight was lifted off of my chest. 

14:11 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Right. 

14:12 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
And having that as as the jump off point to again going Mickey 2.0, like that's that right. There was the definitive day. That was the day, that that was the time and I never looked back and I started just pursuing things that interested me. And here I am. I DJ on the side, I'm working for a really fantastic company. I'm writing my own projects. I'm on this fantastic podcast. I'm just doing stuff. 

14:38
And every day I'm doing something because I want to be able to look back and it's all said and done and I am getting ready to jump off this mortal coil and I look back and I'm not. It's not about the collection of stuff that I have. It's about the collection of stories that I have and the lives that I've touched and the things that I've done. That, to me, is life, and that is how I'm looking at this last kind of trimester of my life is how much more life can I pack in before this is all said and done? 

15:06 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love that. How much more life can I pack in before this is all said and done? That spirit, that approach to life, that attitude to me is so powerful to decide affirmatively. I'm going to take action, I'm going to do something I want to do because it really struck me when you said that you handed over the keys and you know that weight lifted off of you. And I think that sometimes, when we feel stuck and we make a bold move, we sometimes do it. You know we're scared, but we do it anyway. 

15:37
On the other side of the doubt and the fear, there is what I heard you say so much possibility. It's like the universe responds when you say this is what I want to do, even if I don't know exactly know how. Yet Things open up and it just seems to me and I've seen this in my own life when I've taken that leap of faith, and so I look back and think that probably was crazy, but I did it anyway because at the time it just felt right, it felt like what I should do and I just trusted and it really worked out and then things really did open up. That path became much more clear, I got the clarity I needed, and I hope that people listening will be thinking about you. 

16:13
Know what opportunities do you have to take that chance to bet on yourself to do something different. And I liked what you said, mickey, about just that. One action, take one step. Do one thing that's different, try one thing that's new. And I think that sometimes we get stuck on, often, well, I'm going to reinvent, it's got to be this big deal and it's not that at all. I mean, reinvention can be anything you want it to be and it doesn't have to be like moving to another country. 

16:37
Right you know something big and dramatic. 

16:39 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Although it can be that too. But yes, you know, it's not like my reinvention has been over the course now of 14 years, so it's not like I just did it yesterday, right? So all these things came with. They all came because of my own conviction. They came because of my conviction in myself, in the idea that I was behind, and in the people that I wanted to know and meet and talk to and hear their story, and, one step at a time, I got there. You know, not to beat a dead horse, but it really goes back to the old adage of you have to crawl before you can walk, and that is true. So for the past 14 years, I've been learning, I've been crawling, learning how to walk, and I'm finally standing upright. 

17:28 - Wendy Battles (Host)
And here I am and I'm ready to move forward with my head held high and continue to succeed and fail, but move forward regardless. Yeah, I like that, that mindset of failure, successes, but still forward progress. And you mentioned sort of these baby steps that you, you know you were crawling, now you're, you're walking, you're upright and you're you're moving forward. I am curious because one of the things you said was that you became a part time DJ, and I'm really interested because you know often careers like DJing or something like that, we associate that with someone who's younger. And you became a DJ in midlife and I'm curious did you have experience as a DJ? Like, how did you start doing that? How did that unfold? I said I wanted to. 

18:01 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
DJ oh, and did that unfold? 

18:02 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I said I wanted to DJ oh and there you go I said I want to do it In a tricky, nicky way. You're like okay, I think I'll DJ now. 

18:09 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Yes, that's exactly what it was. I was like I can't listen to this shit anymore. I can't listen to this shit music. I cannot listen to this anymore. I said I want to dance to the music that I like, and so I learned how to DJ because I like to dance and I like to be out and I like good music. I don't like this, this namby, pamby, half-assed garbage. Right Now it's. It's arguable that I'm sure somebody would disagree. 

18:38 - Wendy Battles (Host)
For you. But you're like, okay, again, I'm going to just sort of chart my own path. 

18:46 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Well, there are others that agree with my taste in music, and so you happened to be one of them, right? 

18:52 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I mean, I have witnessed it, girl. That was fun. Maybe I need to move back to Minneapolis to be in the Tricky Mickey orbit. I mean, that was really a lot of fun. But I really love this idea that you're like, ok, I want to do that. I don't know how to do that, but I'm going to figure out how to do that because I believe, mickey, that everything is figureoutable. I do too. 

19:14
If you want to do it and again, you might not have a roadmap, you might know how, but you can ask somebody, you can Google it, you can read a book. I mean, there are endless ways to get information, to figure out how to do something, have someone mentor you, you name it. So if you want to do it, if you have that dream, if there's that inkling of something like, wow, I want to do X, we can do it. We just have to figure out the how. And it doesn't have to be like I didn't have to podcast. Before I was a podcaster, but I was like I want to have a podcast and again, when you put it out there, like the path opened up, just like that Someone whose podcast I listened to was like having a course on how to start a podcast that I heard listen to a podcast, I was like, oh well, that was meant to be. Here we go, right. 

19:57 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
And so that's exactly what I did with DJing is. I talked to a couple of friends who are DJs and they, they, helped me they taught me what they knew and I took it from there. 

20:05 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love it, so that it also speaks to we have to be willing to ask. Yes, I mean, you know nobody. 

20:14 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
nobody is an Island to themselves, right? No one is, and one of, I think, one of my greatest strengths is my ability to talk to just about anybody. And that's because I was a bartender for 20 years, right, and so it's given me that ability to talk to anyone about virtually anything. 

20:27 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Which is an amazing skill to have, I might add. 

20:30 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
It actually really is and it's served me quite well, and so I'm not afraid to ask and I'm not afraid to say, hey, I don't know, can you show me? Because most of the time, people are very happy to impart their knowledge and their wisdom. They're happy to do it. 

20:46 - Wendy Battles (Host)
They really are. I mean, it's amazing that people you know they are so willing to share if you're willing to ask and I always think, too, like well, the worst thing that you do is say no and then I can go to somebody else, Right, Like I'm like, wow, you know, to me no just means not right now, or not. You yes, yeah, or you know you're maybe mean, but I know other people that are nice, it will help me with what I need. Thank you very much. Right, but I think it is that persistence, though, that is so key to reinvention. We have to be willing to not just give up if it doesn't go the way we want it to right away. I mean, if we really want to do something, we have to be in it to win it for the long haul, which is the mindset I've adopted around podcasting. Unless you're really famous, most podcasts aren't going to get a million downloads. 

21:29 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
No, but it's an interesting conversation and I'm sure every time you open up this portal you're learning something also. 

21:46 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Exactly so. It's that same idea, right? I'm always learning more. I'm always open to new ideas. I'm interested in what other people are doing. How have they found success? What's a trick I can learn? That could be simple, I could apply. 

21:51
So this idea of you know this, always learning, really does make a difference. So, mickey, we're talking about midlife re-advention, we're talking about making these shifts. We're talking about taking leaps and also leaning into our creativity. I see this parallel between the two of us about being creative souls that are willing to try new things. And one of my secret weapons that helps me lean into my creativity and really focus is something called Magic Mind. It's a mental performance shot made from all natural ingredients like lion's mane, mushrooms, matcha and ashwagandha. That helps me crush procrastination because we're all about taking action boosts my mood and helps me put an end to my sometimes midlife menopausal brain fog. I don't know if you can relate to that. I'm three months in and I'm loving the difference that I felt by drinking Magic Mind. 

22:43
So for people like you and me, it's kind of a creator's dream, a simple way to infuse our mind and body with a good for you solution. You know what else? You drink it with your morning coffee. So for me, it's quickly become a healthy habit that I now have on repeat. So if you're a creative, a gamer, artist, musician, producer, podcaster or anybody else, I encourage you to give it a try for yourself. 

23:09
The great news is that you can give it a spin with 20% off at checkout with my special code REBELS20. You can check out all the details in the show notes. All right, so, mickey, we are talking all things creative and pursuing our dreams, and I wanna ask you, as you kind of think about all these different things you've done, you've been on this beautiful trajectory that's very interesting of trusting yourself and going for it. If you had to boil down to like one secret weapon, your secret weapon to your success as you've gone through this process, you said you crawled and now you're walking. So it's been a process, it's been this unfolding, but what would you say would be the single most important ingredient, that kind of weaves all of this together? 

23:53 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
It's not one ingredient, not for me. It's a mixture of me being able to talk to people and ask questions and know what it is that I want when I'm asking these questions. And so by that I mean take, for instance, the DJ stuff. I wanted to learn how to DJ. I knew some people who could help me learn how to DJ and or teach me how to DJ, and, as a result, I asked them to help me. And so, going back to what I said about crawling before you walk, they helped me crawl. They are also the ones who help me stand tall. They're the ones who have helped to erect me. Without them, I wouldn't be able to say that I can do this, and I will never forget that. They helped me, and I, in turn, turn around and try to help wherever I can, so I pay it back right. 

24:45
Or I pay it forward, or however it is you want to describe it. I don't take without giving, and I don't ask people to do things for me without taking it seriously and then making sure that they understand how much they have given me, and I in turn try to give either them or somebody else something else. 

25:04 - Wendy Battles (Host)
So I like that, that sort of circle of life, so to speak, when it comes to learning and growing and being able to help someone else along the way, and I feel like I've done the same thing with podcasting. I mean, now I know, and people ask me a lot like, well, can you tell me about it, like should I start a podcast, which, of course, is a loaded question. I'm like, well, how much time do you have? 

25:25 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
How much dedication do you have? 

25:27 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Right, exactly. How much money do you have? That too Right. That too, you know. I just said, oh, I want to start a podcast and I feel inspired because I'm really interested in empowering midlife women. 

25:40 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Right. 

25:41 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I wasn't thinking about the other things, like you know what is the trajectory for this and how about pod fade and all the things that go with it. Maybe that's better than I didn't, because this enabled me to just get started. 

25:51 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Well, ok. So then here's a question for you what is your biggest success story? Do you have somebody whom you have interviewed or somebody in your life where their reinvention story came about as a result of discussions with you? 

26:05 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Oh, that's a good question. Someone's reinvention story that came? I'm sure I do. I can't think of anyone off the top of my head, but I know people have said that it's inspired them to get into action and to be motivated to see new possibilities. I mean, most of the people I interview, of course, have already reinvented themselves specifically, but I do have listeners. You know people that will sometimes write to me and say, oh my gosh, that episode was so great. You know it's inspired me to go back and pursue X and that really was the whole point of it. 

26:35
Right For any one of us to see ourselves and other people's stories and not that I'm going to hear your story and become a DJ me personally but that it will inspire me to figure out my own reinvention. Right that people listening to your story, mickey, are going to hear and say, oh well, look at what she did and look at that amazing mindset she had about just going for it. Like maybe I could figure out how to make that work for me in my own unique way. It's not going to be Mickey's story, but it's going to be my story. It's going to be my reinvention story. 

27:09 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
At the end of the day, ask yourself what do you have to lose? What do I have to lose? Yes, not a single thing. Not one single thing. Thing, not one single thing. You have nothing to lose by pursuing something that interests you Nothing, I can't stress it enough. And if you think somehow you're going to end up looking foolish, no one's paying that much attention to you. 

27:37 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Nobody cares that much, no one cares that much yeah it's so true. 

27:40
It's so true. You know, one of the things I find fascinating about you, mickey, is that you have prioritized your dreams and you have said I'm going to do these things as you've talked about in our interview. I want to do X, I want to do Y, I want to do Z and I'm just going to do it. I'm going to find a way. 

27:55
And so many women I know, and perhaps women that you know too, have spent a lot of time prioritizing everybody else's dreams their boss, their family, their kids. You know people have such a long list. I'm really curious as to what advice you have for someone that's listening, who has been stuck in well, I've got to meet everybody else's needs before my own, because I know that it's one thing for us to say, well, I want to do X and we just kind of pursue it. But I know, for someone who's stuck in that mode of, everyone else's needs are more important than mine, it's not as simple as flipping a switch and being like, oh, I mean, it might be for some people, but for most people it's like a, it's an evolution to kind of get there. Do you have For that woman who's been like, really focused on everybody else and is trying to shift that focus to herself. 

28:49 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
I was a caretaker for both my mother and my father. I do not have children, so I cannot speak from that angle, but I can speak from the angle of having a mother with bipolar and borderline personality disorder, along with a severe drug addiction, and borderline personality disorder along with a severe drug addiction. And I can speak to taking care of a father who basically had to become a shut-in because of COVID and then passed away in the house. So when it came to those two very important people in my life, I put aside my desires, I put aside my dreams, because for me there was no other option. I was determined to do my best for them. I was determined to help them as much as I possibly could, because I also knew that the time would come that I would be on my own, able to pursue the things that I wanted to do. 

29:39
Now you ask me do I have any advice? I do not have any advice. People will have to do what they have to do for themselves. I would implore you, dear listener, to consider self-care, because you cannot do for everyone else unless you do something for yourself. Now you have to decide for yourself what that is. No one else can give you advice? Well, maybe somebody else can, maybe somebody will give you advice that you can hear. 

30:05
I cannot and I will not give you advice. I will just say to you that how can you show up and show correct for other people when you are completely bombed out and depleted for yourself? That's what I'm going to ask you, to ask yourself, and, at the end of the day, if you can still show up day in and day out for everybody else and you have an infinite well of energy and positive thinking, then kudos to you. I am not that person. I need to shut off, I need to recharge, I need to give myself that. I had to do it, when I was taking care of my parents even, but at the end of the day I came back to myself because really, I'm the last one standing in the family, except for my brother, and I'm not taking care of my brother. So that's what I would have to say. That's my advice Take care of yourself so that, if you want to and you need to, you can take care of others. 

30:55 - Wendy Battles (Host)
As someone who's been a caretaker, I completely hear you on that, and it really starts with us, and we have to decide that that's important enough to create the space for other things. So I'm right there with you. 

31:10 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Well, how does one person decide that they aren't enough? But they aren't they aren't enough for themselves to take care of, but they're enough to take care of everybody else. 

31:15 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Oh, I can't do that. I got too many other things to do. 

31:17 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
I don't understand that mindset. I do not understand it because you give away little bits and pieces of yourself. What's left at the end of the day, the end of the week, end of the month, end of your life? What's left? 

31:28 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Right. 

31:29 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
And that's not to say that it will ever be reciprocated. Right, you could give and give and give. That doesn't mean anyone's ever going to give you anything back. 

31:35 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Absolutely. 

31:36 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
So there's nothing wrong with being a little selfish. 

31:38 - Wendy Battles (Host)
No. I'm not talking about being a nut job and completely self-centered. 

31:44 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
But I'm talking about giving yourself just a little bit of leeway. 

31:47 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Absolutely. You know setting our own boundaries. Only we know what those are. But I think that that's so key the self-care and the boundaries is so key also to reinventing ourselves, to saying well, I'm going to spend this many hours doing this, pursuing whatever it is I want to pursue, because that's what I want to do and I'm going to make this a priority. 

32:08 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Everyone should have one thing, one thing that is all theirs, that they love. It's not a lot to ask. It's really not, Even if it's just reading a book even if it's just going to the library and picking out a book that you like and going home and reading it in a quiet room. It can be that simple. 

32:24 - Wendy Battles (Host)
That, oh, absolutely, absolutely. So I'm completely with you that everyone should have at least one thing, whatever that is Two or three. But I know I was going to say but that's even better, because one is kind of hard. I'm thinking like I can think about a lot of things, you know. 

32:39 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Well, girl, I'm a Gemini, you know I like having a lot of things on my platter. I like a little poo-poo platter, I like a little taste of everything. 

32:47 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I'm not a Gemini, but I like this Probably too much. I mean, you know, that's probably like part of my Achilles heel is that I'm like I'm into too many different things. You know, like I'm just. But that's what happens when you're a multi-potential light and you have all these different interests, right. What happens when you're a multi-potential light and you have all these different interests, right, and you just like you get energy from learning new things and trying new things and seeing where it goes, and you know why not. 

33:15 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Why not? 

33:16 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Right, why not? Why not? So, as we're starting to wrap up our conversation, mickey, I do want to ask you this question about we're going to boil it on down. If I asked you about your reinvention headline, you know your story. 

33:34
You've talked about so many different components of how you've reinvented yourself. We talked a lot about the how. You talked about this whole path that you've taken and some of the things that happened along the way how people helped you, how you were willing to ask for help, how you had an openness to trying different things, how you weren't afraid to fail, how you understand that success and failure can coexist as we reimagine and we explore in this precious life that we have. So if you had to give your reinvention journey a theme, with all the twists and turns that you talked about like I bought this bar and then realized I needed another job to support the bar and then found that totally depressing, so then I took some other actions to undo that, to live the life I want to live. So twists and turns. So what would you say that your reinvention theme might be? 

34:28 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
The theme of my journey? That's a good question. Never straight, always forward, that's my theme. 

34:37 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Never straight, always forward. 

34:40 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
I love that None of it's ever straightforward. I will never get from point A to point B without at least skirting around C and D a little bit. 

34:48 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Yeah. 

34:49 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
And my journey to where I am from where I started was, of course, not straightforward, but it was an interesting journey nonetheless. 

34:57 - Wendy Battles (Host)
It was, and you got there. 

34:59 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Well, not quite, but I'm getting there. Yeah, en route. I'm en route, absolutely, and yeah, I'm enjoying the journey. What do they say? What's the old saying? The old saying is it's never the destination, it's always the journey. 

35:14 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Yeah. 

35:14 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
To paraphrase. But that's part and parcel of what I keep in the back of my head as I bullet point little things on the horizon that I want to achieve. So my next achievement, I want my next achievement, and I'm just putting it out there in the universe yeah, tell me, I want my next achievement to be that I am a writer, producer on my own TV show or my own movie. That's the next big goal. 

35:39 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love that. 

35:40 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Yeah. 

35:41 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Maybe you can produce the Reinvention Rebels TV show. 

35:43
Rock and roll that's been on my board for like the longest time. It popped into my head. One day I'm going to have a TV show. So this idea of dreaming big in a limitless way and trusting that things are going to unfold, even if we don't know the how and it might be that you know not straight route that you're talking about right, that we're going to get there, but maybe not in the way we initially envision, and I can't wait to see what you do. I really love this conversation we've had today and the insights you shared, because I think that's what we all need to hear is that it's not always easy, but it's worth it and we can persist. We can get out of a situation that seemingly could be depressing, unfulfilling, not what we want. We can always find a way. 

36:32 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Yes, I do believe that, but maybe it's me being foolish and I'm feeling quite what's the word I'm looking for Privileged in being able to pursue these things. Maybe I am privileged in that way. But again, going back to what I said before, I would implore anyone who's listening to consider yourself just as important as you would somebody else, Because you are and you can do it. I mean hell, if I can do it, you can do it. 

37:00 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I think that all the time, I believe we all have so much more potential within us. We're so much stronger than we think, more resilient than we think and able to do these things. I know people listening may be thinking Tricky Mickey is like so freaking cool. I need to follow this woman. I mean, I can't go to Minneapolis, necessarily and go to one of her DJ sets, but where can people find you? Are you on social media? Where could people connect with you? 

37:26 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
Yeah, I'm on social media. I'm on my name because I was hacked. I was hacked by a Bitcoin something or one of those nut jobs who loves to hijack somebody's social media, so it's kind of a long one. It's the underscore, only underscore. Tricky underscore Mickey on Instagram and tricky Mickey on Facebook. 

37:51 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Perfect. I'm going to link to that in the show notes so people can easily find you. I have to tell you, though, girl, I cannot thank you enough for joining me today. 

38:02 - Tricky Miki (Guest)
You are awesome. 

38:04 - Wendy Battles (Host)
You are so awesome and it's so nice to get to know you. I mean, I'd only met you briefly when you were DJing, so it's not like I had a conversation with you. It has been such a pleasure and a joy to talk to you, to find out about you and really to hear your story, which is so encouraging that's what I would call it. It is encouraging to me to hear what you have done and the approach you've taken. I'm like, yes, yes, I want more of this. That's what we need to invite into our lives. Are the people like this that you know again, help us move forward. And and I hope everyone listening is getting that same feel from our conversation today. So, thank you, thank you. But I loved, loved in all caps, love people, loved my conversation with Tricky Mickey. This is what reinvention looks like. This is what it looks like when we go for it. This is what happens when we're curious and when we try things, when we're open to failure and success and knowing that failure is not defining us. Becoming a DJ in your late 50s why the hell not? We can do anything when we decide we can, and Tricky Mickey is the epitome of what that looks and sounds like and, of course, I wish you could see her in person spinning as she does fabulous music. But it's a reminder to all of us that we can look within, we can tune into what grooves us, what jazzes up, what we're curious about, and lean in from there. It's all about this idea of getting more curious, and if you were inspired as I was, I want to help you get started and I want to offer up my free gift to you 100 ways to reinvent yourself in midlife. Okay, so you might be thinking well, I'm not going to become a DJ, I get that, but so what? There are hundreds, if not thousands, of things that you can do, and you heard Mickey. She tried different things, she was open, she was curious. She's got this seeking mind to constantly be looking at what could be possible, and that's what I want for you too. I've got a link in the show notes to download my free gift 100 Ways to Reinvent in Midlife because I want you to get started too, I want you to get curious, I want you to decide that you are worth it. It's worth investigating what could be possible so that you can live your best, most joyful, fun, outrageously amazing life that you can, and if you love this episode, do me a favor, share it with a friend, or two, or 10. Tell the people in your life about this amazing episode. Hit the share button in whatever listening app you're using and encourage them to try on for size, this idea of midlife reinvention and beyond, and what we can do, which is anything, by the way. 

41:29
I'm on a mission to introduce all of you, my amazing listeners, to other podcasts what I call adjacent podcasts that are hosted by women over 50 that are all about living our best life. And today I want to tell you about a podcast hosted by my friends, chris and Jill, which I've had the pleasure of appearing on, called Fit, strong Women Over 50. I don't know about you, but my almost 60 body is totally different than my body, even at 50. And this podcast shares inspiration, information, ideas with amazing guests who are all about well aging and helping us create the strongest, most fit bodies as we age, so that we can live on purpose y'all, as we want to do. I encourage you to check it out. Details are in the show notes. You don't want to miss this fabulous podcast. So until next time, rebels, keep shining your light. The world needs you and all that you have to offer you.