Reinventing Your Holidays: Micro-Joy and Self-Care Tips with Dr. Sheryl Barnes

The holidays are upon us which usually means too much stress and not enough self-care. Make this the year you reinvent the holidays and welcome in more peace and being present. Listen to this inspiring episode to help you reimagine what's possible.

Episode Highlights:

• Prioritizing Self-Care 🌟: Dive into the importance of self-care, especially during the busy holiday season. Discover how to nurture yourself amidst the chaos.
• Meet Dr. Sheryl Barnes 🧘‍♀️: Learn from a self-care expert who shares her journey of embracing self-care and finding “micro joy” in everyday moments.
• Micro Joy Explained 🎈: Understand the power of finding happiness in small, daily experiences instead of waiting for major events.
• Personal Reinvention in Your 60s 🔄: Explore the idea of reinventing yourself and living life to the fullest, regardless of age.
• Self-Care for Women 💪: Gain insights into the challenges women face managing multiple responsibilities and how self-care can empower them.
• Yoga and Spirituality 🧘‍♂️: Discover how yoga, particularly restorative yoga, and meditation can promote emotional health and spirituality.
• Mindfulness Practices 📝: Learn how journaling, yoga, and setting boundaries can enhance your daily life and foster well-being.
• The Art of Focus 🎯: Contrast multitasking with focused attention to appreciate everyday experiences more fully.
• Achieving Flow Through Self-Care 🌊: Explore how self-care routines and stress-reducing products can help you reach a state of flow.

Tune in to embrace a life filled with joy and self-care, one micro moment at a time! 🎙️💖

Connect with Dr. Sheryl:

Website: sherylbarnes.com
Instagram: @drbarnes
LinkedIn: Dr. Sheryl L. W.  Barnes

Mentioned in this episode:

Magic Mind: Give Magic Mind mental performance shots a try. Go to magicmind.com/rebels to save up to 40% off of your first subscription or 20% off a one-time order. Use code REBELS20 at checkout.

Podcast Recommendation: Looking for inspiration about how to thrive as you age? Want well-aging fitness tips? Listen to The Fit Strong Women Over 50 podcast with hosts Chris and Jill.

Kick your midlife fears and uncertainty to the curb and start your Reinvention Rebels journey today. Learn about my audio program, Midlife Reinvention From The Inside Out: 8 Essentials to Greenlight Your Life.

Transcript

00:00 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Hey, hey, hey. Rebels, Happy Holidays. I'm popping into your earbuds today to introduce one of my favorite episodes. You know it's the holiday season. We're often running around, spread thin, doing too much, and there isn't enough focus on ourselves. This episode is about self-care. I recorded this episode a couple of years ago with my friend, dr Cheryl Barnes. She's a self-care guru and she explains how she took self-care to a new level and really taking care of herself and how it helped transform her life. And, being that it's the holidays, I think we all could use a reminder about how important self-care is and simple things we can do to build better self-care practices, not just during the holidays, but all year long. I hope you sit back, relax, have a cup of tea, enjoy this fantastic conversation with dr cheryl barnes, and I'm going to see you on the other side of the new year. Happy holidays, wishing you a joyful season, a very happy new year and let's make 2025 amazing. See you soon. 

01:39 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
I use the term micro joy. I don't know if it's a it's a real term, but I use it because sometimes people think that they will be happy or happier when something really huge happens, and I really think one of the secrets to self-care and living one's best life is to look for and to cultivate joy in a number of different sizes. 

02:01 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Welcome to Reinvention Rebels. Stories of brave and unapologetic women, 50 to 90 years young, who have boldly reimagined life on their own terms to find new purpose and possibilities. I'm your host, wendy Battles, ready for a dose of inspiration. Let's get to it. Hello, amazing Reinvention Rebels, welcome to another episode of the podcast. I'm so excited you're here. I'm so glad you are listening in to today's episode because my friend Cheryl is amazing. She is bursting with joy and has so many amazing nuggets to share about her Reinvention Rebel journey and how she is blossoming in her 60s. More to come on that in just a moment. 

03:15
But you know I got to ask you did you check out last week's episode about the idea that reinvention is an inside job, all about what's on the inside and how we can get quiet and allow that to bubble up, how we can use that wisdom to help guide our reinvention path. I don't know about you, but in the past I've tried hard. Sometimes I've tried to make things happen. I've tried to control things to get the answers I was seeking. But it doesn't really work like that. Get the answers I was seeking, but it doesn't really work like that. It's really about when we let go, when we have an open mind, when we believe and have faith that we have the answers. They're not always apparent, they don't just show up on demand, but when we create the space, the quiet we get, still those ideas will bubble up, naturally, often when we least expect it. And I talked a lot about that and some questions you can begin to ask yourself. If you didn't have a chance to listen yet, I encourage you to do so. I'm linking to it in the show notes. But some great information to inspire you on your reinvention path. 

04:30
So let's get to this fantastic conversation with the very amazing Cheryl Barnes. Let me introduce this reinvention rebel. You are in for such a treat today. Dr Cheryl Barnes exudes joy and helps others to heal and find joy within. This 68-year-young reinvention rebel has reinvented herself many times over the course of her lifetime, as we'll talk about today. When you meet her and see her smile, you'll know just what I mean. Her joy is contagious and I don't know about you, but I don't think we can ever have too much joy. 

05:35
As a coach, consultant, trainer, minister and healer, she helps people find their true north, the path back to themselves. People find their true north, the path back to themselves and she's super smart. She has earned five, five academic degrees a BA in psychology, an MA in education, two PhDs, one in education, one in philosophy and a doctor of ministry in theology. She's taught educational psychology, philosophy, ethics, bioethics and theology at the college level. She is an ordained minister and national award-winning author of two books 10 Gifts to Give Yourself, the Journey Back to you and Discipleship in the Age of Distraction, and she's also the recipient of numerous business, civic and community awards. Most importantly of all of this, she helps women like ourselves to be their best selves and shine their brightest in the coolest, most innovative ways. Cheryl Barnes, welcome to the Reinvention Rebels guest chair. 

06:52 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Thank you, wendy, and thank you so much for this amazing invitation. I'm excited to be on this show with you today to be on this show with you today. 

07:11 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I am excited too, and I want to give our amazing audience a little backstory to get into our conversation. I somehow I'm not even sure how, cheryl I met you via LinkedIn and we connected before. We got connected on Instagram and Facebook, and I'd only, though, communicated with you online. And then one day this summer, we were in Stop and Shop, our local grocery store it was on a Saturday doing my grocery shopping no makeup on, jeans, whatever and you came up to me and you're like are you, wendy? It was so fun, I loved it and it was one of those joyful moments I talked about how you exude joy. It was such a joyful moment to meet you in person. 

08:02 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Yes, I totally agree. In fact, I think I shared with you that I had passed you in one of the aisles and I'm like, oh my gosh, that's her. And I sort of freaked out like starstruck and couldn't remember your name. And so I'm like in awe, turn the corner and then I'm walking towards you I still couldn't remember your name right away and then I'm like you're, you're, you're that podcaster, and that was just like a pure joy moment where I couldn't even think it was. It was such a blessing to to meet you in person, so and we had a a great conversation in that aisle and it led us to this. 

08:44 - Wendy Battles (Host)
So it led us to this, and I always feel like things happen for a reason that you meet people when you need to meet them or see them, and that was just one of those moments and I said, oh, I have to have Cheryl on to talk about her reinvention journey. And one of the things I remember you saying via either Instagram or LinkedIn is that you have been listening to the podcast and you heard someone's story and that inspired part of your Reinvention Rebel journey and I'd really love to start our conversation with talking about that, about how listening to that episode ignited your Reinvention Rebel journey. Can you tell me a little bit about how that unfolded? 

09:30 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Absolutely, and I apologize. I don't remember her name, but she was from Connecticut and she was a yoga instructor and she had taken up her yoga practice and relocated to another part of the world. 

09:46 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I think Spain. It was yes, you got it. 

09:50 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Oh my gosh. 

09:51
And so I just listened and I was so moved by her, I want to say her courage, and it felt like bravery for her to move into something authentic and it just stayed with me because I had always enjoyed yoga Never, you know, practiced formally, hadn't taken a class in years and years, but would practice sort of my version of it for health reasons with you know for like really good result just kind of kept my back loose and limber and it was always peaceful. 

10:28
So seeing her podcast led me to watch other ones that you had and just was blessed by each one and knew that what you were sharing with me and with other women and possibly even even men as well. But it resonated so deeply about the, the importance of a standing in our own truth and knowing when we are maybe not always necessarily even dissatisfied although sometimes that too but even in just say our life is going along, maybe OK, and then there's a tinge of something where you want more or you want different. And so your podcast, whenever I did listen in, always gave me like a spark of inspiration to stand in my own truth. Nobody around, nobody co-signing, but for me to say are you sure you're doing all that you wanna do. Are you connecting the pieces of your own joy and the decisions that I was making? How's that working for you? Is it taking you to a deeper and more authentic place, or not? 

11:45 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love that. So the episodes really help you tune into your own spirit, your own authenticity. What is it that Cheryl needs? What will light you up? Because you went on, if I'm not mistaken, Cheryl, to then get a yoga certification. 

12:03 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Yes, I did. It led me to a get a yoga certification. Yes, I did. It led me to a certification in holy yoga, and that was something that I wanted because it allowed me to fuse or to mesh, you know, my spiritual beliefs with a yoga practice. And from there I realized, because there's so many different kinds of yoga, that I was drawn particularly to restorative yoga. 

12:28 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love restorative yoga too. Oh my gosh, it's just I don't know. It just really is so peaceful, so peaceful. 

12:38 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Peaceful healing, calming, all of that. And then that led me to just think more about healing as more of a peaceful experience. Just, you know, even if, say, a person's on medication or under some kind of therapeutic care, that yoga for me was such a compliment whether or not you were diagnosed with anything just as a way of being, because yoga means yoke and I saw the benefit of yoking my movements with my breath, that in and of itself to just slow things down and pay attention to how you're moving through spaces, to how you're moving through spaces physical spaces, psychological spaces, you know, emotional spaces and so it's sort of an anti-rush methodology that you know. That I just think is good for anybody, any age, any issue. 

13:40 - Wendy Battles (Host)
It does feel that way and it feels like we live in this crazy over the top world. I know we had the pandemic. That kind of put calmed us all down to some degree, but it feels like things are kind of ramping up again and we're out and about more. Why do you think it's so important for us to get more tuned in and get more quiet? 

14:02 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Such a good question and you know, since we've talked, I've gone on and explored some other things essential oils, and which I'm certified in, and, most recently, sound healing. 

14:15
The only reason why I mentioned the sound healing is that one of the things that I learned was about the importance of like vibrations and frequencies and say, if you're angry all the time and you're screaming at other drivers and you're kicking the dog heaven forbid or your spouse, or you're mad because they left the pickles off your drive-thru order, that vibration of anger or despair or even fear is not good for your body and so it couldn't be good for your soul. 

14:52
And I think that the calmness that comes with yoga or meditation, or even if you don't give it a formal name, if you just sit for a few minutes at the beginning of the day to think about what you're grateful for and or at the end of the day to just pause and calmly reflect on what you learned, what you survived, what you got to experience, that calmness is an energy that is good for us, it's good for your pets, it's good for the people that are around you, it's good for you. So we can't sustain that fight or flight mode, and most people have heard of that, where you'll either lift a three or four ton vehicle off. That's good that we can do that, but we were never meant to live in that level of I'm either running or I'm fighting, and some people have normalized that and called it ambition, and I respectfully disagree. 

16:01 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Yeah, I totally hear you about that, right. Yeah, I totally hear you about that, right. And so how we can take some of these things and tune in and get more quiet and try to be present with ourselves, I think is so important in this world in which we're often especially women, dealing with so many different things, so many different demands. I was thinking about that recently, as my mom is aging and needs more support, and I've been spending a lot of time caring for her, which I'm so happy to do but it also means that we have to practice more self-care Absolutely Right. And so much of the so many of the things you're talking about that you have learned for yourself as you reinvented yourself are about your own self-care, your own needs, managing our emotions, you know the essential oils to help support our emotional health, how all of those things can be tools that any of us can use. 

17:12
As we think about more self-care, especially as we age, right, I think that it's so, so important to do that, or what's something you would suggest that women could do who are thinking about? Maybe I want to reinvent myself. I'm not sure where to start, but I love this idea of self-care that you talk about so beautifully. How can a woman ease into this self-care that perhaps they have not been doing as they'd like to, but now they're like? I'm listening to Cheryl, I hear her talking about self-care. How can I get started? What would you say? 

17:48 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
You know, actually that is often the question that my clients because I am a life coach that they'll approach me with. Sometimes it's a major change in their life, you know, their children have moved out of the home, or they have adult children, or they have aging parents or any number of things careers changing, facing retirement, facing new opportunities and so when they ask me, how can they take better care of themselves? First of all, I'm always a little curious as to us having, you know, a definition where I can honor what they mean when they say self-care, because I've actually seen some pushback in social media that is narcissistic and I'm like whoa, not, not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about overindulgence at the expense of someone else. And so, as it turns out, I do start with. What does that mean to them? 

18:50
And so many of my the overwhelming majority of my clients have been women of faith, of some kind of faith of self-care as being stewardship, of taking spiritual care of something that God has entrusted to you your body, your creativity, your thoughts, your mind, your heart. Stewardship covers so many things, and it also includes your money, for the people who always wanted to know if you can let them hold some of your money and you know, you know they're not going to pay you back so and so I don't let people hold money. If I'm going to give it to you, if you need, I'm going to give it to you. I don't loan money because it's crazy, but even that that's a stewardship. I will share with you what I can, but I cannot, perhaps in wisdom on my part, share my mortgage payment, you know, and so I might be able to help you find a resource if I've gone beyond what I have. So for me, self-care is rooted in spiritual stewardship, taking good care. You know, I think we talked at one time about the analogy of if you're on an airplane and something happens, put your own oxygen mask on first. You know, my son is an adult, but if he were, you know, if this had occurred when he was little and say I had a couple of his friends and I was taking them to Disney World and something happened on the plane, you can be sure that my concern for them is going to involve me putting on my oxygen mask first before I try to help them. 

20:35
Yeah, and so if a woman says, where do I start? And we're kind of in agreement with some kind of a definition of it being a spiritual and divine responsibility, then I usually will have them do something like write or draw, because sometimes linear thinking can get in the way but make a list. What are the things that are on your plate? And I have literally used paper plates where they take several small sheets of paper, write down everything they're responsible for, we crumple it up, put it on a plate right. After a while it's paper all over the floor. And so we might start with you know what's important, what can you take off of your plate, or what's important, how are you managing that? So, yes, I can be available to my best friends, absolutely, but not 24 hours a day, absolutely not, you know. 

21:34
And so sometimes it's not that you want to get rid of a relationship. It might be you need to renegotiate and review boundaries. So I know I'm saying a lot because it really is so unique for each woman, which is why I love life coaching. The answers are always listen to me. They are always inside of the person. Always listen to me. They are always inside of the person and as they speak, I can hear the answers and I'll write them down or take notes or repeat them back and they'll either laugh or go or cry or any combination thereof. The answers are always inside of you thereof? 

22:18 - Wendy Battles (Host)
The answers are always inside of you. It is so funny you should say that, because my last episode was called Reinvention as an Inside Job. Yes, and it was exactly what you're saying that we are wise, we have these answers within, and I believe that when we do the things that you're talking about, in whatever way that manifests for us, when we practice more self-care whether it's journaling, drawing, yoga, sound healing or Tai Chi, many other things when we can begin to get more quiet, when we can tap into ourselves, that's when that wisdom bubbles up. Whether we call it God, the universe, what have you? That inherent wisdom that's there bubbles up and we can hear it because so much right, we're all running around. So often we're running around doing for others and, yes, it's good to be of service to others, but what about being of service to ourselves? Because that's what you're truly saying, right that when we are of service to ourselves, often in the spiritual way, we can unleash this clarity and wisdom from within. 

23:31 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
And we have more to give to others. But it's not only that, we have a different quality of life. So we we, if this makes any sense at all we have more to give to ourselves, we have more to experience. I just got off the phone with a friend of mine and I was telling her that I'm just so happy. I said I told her I'm a happy camper and I was just sharing some really good things that happened and how I decorated my home and that I'm taking my time putting up my decorations and. And the point is, you know, nobody cares, but I care. My friend cares, but I care, I care. 

24:08
And so when I take my time, if I've had a good day or crazy day, and with a kind of a easy slow me intentionality, I fixed myself a cup of ginger honey tea and make sure it's in a beautiful cup and sit down and put my phone on mute or put my phone to the side and for that 30 minutes or whatever, I'm not checking to see what's on sale, I'm not checking to see who said what. 

24:38
I can catch up with those things later on, but it's an intentionality to put some space around myself so that I can enjoy my meal or my tea or my television program or my conversation conversation. So I'm big time anti multitasking. We're never fully in any of the tasks and they become a drag, and they shouldn't be. You know, if you're fully present when you're washing your dishes. I got this from my big sister, my older sister, and she was saying even that is sacred and I thought, yeah right, until I thought about what she had told me. She told me this years ago and I realized when I once thought it was a drag to sweep the floor or wash dishes, I was like, but I'm sweeping the floor because they're crumbs, because I have food, and I'm washing the dishes because I just had a meal with my family, because we have food and we were nourished. So for some they may sound corny, okay, but when you slow down and connect what you're doing from a place of gratitude, it changes everything. 

25:52 - Wendy Battles (Host)
It does change everything. Gratitude, intentionality makes such a difference, because I certainly have had times in my life where things unfolded but I wasn't intentional about them, yeah, and I was trying to do all these different things at once and I didn't have a lot of focus. But when we can practice that gratitude, when we can be more intentional, that to me makes such a big difference. And you also mentioned this idea of multitasking that you, you know, I agree with. Like multitasking it just doesn't do any good. 

26:26
And I know sometimes we feel like, well, if I just could get more done, if I could just do these things at the same time. I understand why people think that and why it looks appealing from the outside looking in, like, yeah, let me do that, but it really doesn't work. So I truly appreciate what you said about being intentional, putting that phone down, just focusing on that one thing and being present with that one thing, truly fully experiencing that one thing. Because even when I do that, when I allow myself, when I give myself permission because so often as women we don't but when I give myself permission to do just what you're talking about, I am amazed at what I hear, what I tune into. It's like a whole nother world that I'm running around, sometimes so busy I'm missing. And again it goes back to this idea we have all the answers if we just tune in, Right? So I love that. 

27:29 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Love that and I love that. You just said what you're missing. So, um, I would be the first to say that people who multitask, in many instances they really are getting a lot of things done, things done, and it's a blur. So I don't want to pretend that they're not, that some some things in that, that nothing is working for them. Sometimes something is working for them. My question is were they present. Is working for them? My question is were they present? 

28:01
And, by way of confession, I recall eating a bowl of pop. Actually it was a bag popcorn or potato chips. This was some years ago, right, and I'm watching some show that I like, but my mind is racing Clients, and did I do that? And doing a commercial? I'll throw something in the washing machine. So I'm eating and I realize I'm eating mindlessly. I like the popcorn or whatever it was because I get to the bottom of the bag and there's nothing left in the bag and there was no one that I could blame because there was no one there with me. So how do you consume a bag of something and not really remember? You know what I'm saying. So now I put my popcorn, you know, in a bowl because I don't want to just eat mindlessly, I want to enjoy it and then I may put in a pretty bowl. You keep hearing my mistake. Yes, I know. 

28:50 - Wendy Battles (Host)
You love like I want to come to your house, girl. I have got to come to because it sounds amazing. Open invitation. 

28:55 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
You open invitation, and I mean that. So I'll follow up with you on that. And it's like, oh my gosh, I'm intentionally eating this. Really yummy, you know? Popcorn, chicka Boom, I think it is, and it's good for you. I love that too. Yum and yum, hashtag yum. 

29:12 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I know right. 

29:13 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Right, and I'm aware that I'm eating it. And when I'm done with the bowl, I'm not just eating until the bag is empty and I don't mean. I remember. I remember drinking my coffee with the hazelnut creamer, which I like, or I remember my breakfast, and I remember, and all of those wonderful gifts that we have, have taste buds, our olfactory system, which is how we smell Everything that we have tactile kinesthetic, all of our senses. Those are gifts from God and I have friends who got COVID and it took a while for their sense of taste to come back. 

29:53
And it's like you know, we take it for granted. We gulp it down, savor it, slow it down and be aware that you can smell, that you can taste, that you can feel the warm water when you take a shower and your life is different. You can still get things done. Every day is not going to be identical. I got that. I'm cool with that. But be more mindful to eat your food and be present when you eat or when you're on vacation, feel the weather, see the sights, instead of trying to take five billion pictures to share with folk back home. I'm glad you're there, but I'm hoping that you'll actually be there, that you'll actually be there. If you could be there, I'm good, I'm happy for you, but please be there. 

30:44 - Wendy Battles (Host)
And we're not always present in our own lives. It is so true, we are not always present, and y'all it reminds me, as I'm having this conversation with Cheryl, that so much of what we're talking about. For me is about me getting into a state of flow, and one of the things that's helped me do that recently is this really cool product I discovered called Magic Mind. Magic Mind is this tiny little green elixir that I take every day with my coffee, and it helps me get into that flow state because I'm the kind of person that I can get really stressed out and anxious. It's got adaptogens like ashwagandha to help me de-stress, and it's got matcha, which is also great for de-stressing, so it's a great way for me to get more calm, to be more in that flow state, to do this amazing work that I'm doing. 

31:43
And I'll just mention that there's a great offer available right now. You can get 40% off a subscription. You could also get 20% off if you just want to order it, but all the details in the show notes, because I've had such great results. I'd love for you to check it out too. 

32:01 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Okay, I will take a look and thank you for saying that, because sometimes people will order a product, use it once and not use it. So sometimes you've got the best tea or the best product, something that you shared. So now you've got the best tea or the best product, something that you shared, so now you've got to commit to treating yourself to that on a regular basis. Now we're talking self-care as a lifestyle, and that's what I'm advocating for. I've asked people do you have a diffuser for their essential oils? And they're like, let me see if I can find it. Or do you have a yoga mat? Or do you have good music, you know, on your cell phone or on your whatever? And they do, but they don't use it. Right, they don't use it. 

32:47
I love the word intentionality. If you need to write this on your to-do list and put it on a post-it note and stick it on the bathroom mirror, today I will enjoy my tea or my this or my that or my best robe. We have to actually practice doing those things and be patient, because it takes a while before it has become, you know, a habit. It takes patience with ourselves. 

33:13 - Wendy Battles (Host)
It really does, and I think we have to not give up on ourselves. We have to remember that sometimes we are doing everything and things are working, but we fall off the wagon, which happens to me, and instead of beating ourselves up and saying I can't believe I let this happen, it's like okay, sometimes there are obstacles in our journey, in our journey, right. Same thing in our reinvention, when we're reinventing ourselves, we go through ups and downs and we're, you know, making good progress and then something happens and there's an obstacle in the way. Well, we have to just remember no matter the circumstances, we just have to keep going and trust that we can navigate around whatever those things are in our path. 

33:53 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
And even expect that you know if your, your child, is sick, if you, covid, was a disruptor. We can't even talk enough about how that threw so many people off. For some it was restful, for others it was a nightmare and for others it was a combination of both different iterations of that. So, whatever it is, if you wake up and your throat is scratchy and you, the last thing you want to do is a downward dog. The last thing you want to do is you know, whatever wash out or sound healed, that's okay, and I think that I again in a culture that's like go, go, go, go, go, push, push, but then we even turn self-care into some legalistic crazy. I have to do it, I have to. 

34:43
No, no, we see the grace in nature. And so if someone says, I just don't even have a way of conceptualizing it, sometimes I'll tell them to look out their window conceptualizing it. Sometimes I'll tell them to you know, look out their window, you know it's a storm, and then there is a breeze or there's squirrels, or some of the flowers bloom this year on one bush, but not on another, and so I think it helps us to remember it is not a brand new by the book one, two, three, four, five, six, robotron, automated, crazy new thing. That's anti of what we're talking about Self-care, it cannot be rigid like that. That's not who human beings are or nature. So a little grace goes a long way for ourselves and, of course, for others. But now we're talking about extending grace to yourself and receiving grace. That every day is not going to be identical, and that's okay. 

35:42 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Yeah, exactly, exactly. I love, I love this idea of grace and how we can extend it to ourselves. A couple of weeks ago, I did an episode about gratitude and grace two topics we just talked about and why that is so important to offer that to ourselves, especially as we're reinventing but going through anything in life right. 

36:01
We just are so hard on ourselves. So I love what you just said about the gratitude, about the grace and about self-care as a lifestyle. I heard you say self-care as a lifestyle, and that is such a great way to sort of capsulize this idea that I'm not just doing it for right now. I'm not going to just take a hot bath tonight and then not do anything for weeks. I'm integrating this into my life as something that's important, something I'm going to keep doing, something that can help me transform in new ways, absolutely yes, yes. 

36:37 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
And then you, you keep being your best self, uh, over time. And you, I want to say, like you, you radiate that people can feel your energy and that's one of the reasons why I'm just so inspired by you before we met in person. Your, your voice is calming, voice is sound. So you know, you know, I won't go deep with the physics of it, but you know. 

36:59 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I would like to. I know you could, I know you could For all my clients to death. 

37:03 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
That's just a personal joy, all things quantum, but a soothing voice, a soothing, soothing movement, which is why I adore Tai Chi. Yoga and Tai Chi are very similar, except in Tai Chi it's movement, it's just movement, and Tai Chi is harder for that reason. Whereas yoga is usually you hold a position, in Tai Chi you're moving, and so when I met you, you are like walking, podcasting Tai Chi, it's your voice, but it's not just a studio voice, it's who you are, yeah, and so whatever work you feel you haven't done, you've done this work and that's what, that's what you bless others with, and so I'm just, I'm so glad our paths cross. 

37:51 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I, me too, me too, I am like I am grateful. Talk about gratitude. I'm so grateful for that. So, cheryl, thank you for those kind words. I truly appreciate that, because I do feel like I'm living on purpose for the first time, and I think that when we are doing what we are meant to do whatever that is, it could be anything, we all have that thing but when we do that, we naturally exude joy, and one of the things that you talked to me about in the grocery store was this idea of micro joy. I would love for you to share with all of us this idea of joy and why joy is so important, especially as we're on this path of reinvention. 

38:41 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
I use the term micro joy. I don't know if it's a real term, but I use it because sometimes people think that they will be happy or happier when something really huge happens, and I really think one of the secrets to self-care and living one's best life is to look for and to cultivate joy in a number of different sizes. So clearly we're talking like metaphorically. So finding micro joy in running into someone in the grocery store or I love to read and sometimes I have three or four books that I'm reading at the same time and there have been times when I beat myself up where you should have read some huge book, it's like, yeah, that's not going to happen. So the micro joy will be after I've cleaned the kitchen, I'm going to sit down and I'm going to read for whatever 30 minutes or not even time and until I'm ready to put the book down and to do that without again that rigidity of you have to do this or that or that. Everything is quantifiable or measurable. When you cease from that, you can find little examples of joy throughout your day, throughout your life, throughout. I say day because that's a it's a smaller compartment of time, and so I think things like people have held the door for me, you know, in the grocery store or, I'm sorry, going into like a department store. 

40:15
I had a couple of Uber drivers last week. I had some car problems. They were so amazing. They were so amazing that I literally wanted to cry. Short rides, 10, 15 minutes, awesome conversations, and I just went over in my mind what we had talked about in each case because it was micro joy for me. So sometimes it's rooted in doing something. Sometimes it's just rooted in awareness of something that's going on around you. Sometimes it's awareness of something going on inside of you. Again, when I thought about friends of mine and some illnesses, they've survived. If you can swallow unaided, if you can see, if you can get up, if you can turn a page and this isn't necessarily correlated with age, car accidents, other things that you can be deprived of, something you're taking for granted now. So I think focusing in on things like that throughout the day releases micro joy. 

41:22 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love this so much, this idea that even if we're challenged because we all have challenging lives in different ways, whatever the things are that we're dealing with, but there is joy to be had even in the midst of challenges, and that's what you're saying that we can find the littlest things to appreciate, to find joyful. 

41:52
And I was thinking about that because I have a friend who grew up with someone who was young, in maybe 30 and got ALS, and just passed away recently with three small children. And it reminds me of the little things. When you have ALS, you know you stop being able to move your limbs and to talk, and I mean the kind of terrible suffering that I would never want anyone to experience. And it reminds me of how there are so many things to celebrate in that you said we could swallow, we take that for granted every day, right, even when we have a cold and you can't breathe through your nose. I can't stand when I can't breathe through my nose and it's like I can't believe this. So it makes you really appreciate the tiniest little thing that our bodies naturally do, right. Then, when you can't, all of a sudden you're like I can't, oh no, right. So just leaning into the littlest of things to see joy. I see how that can help us move forward. 

43:04 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Yes, it's literally like vibrating at a healthier frequency. So anger and disappointment and complaining and comparing, and it's not fair, when it's really probably not all that fair for most people. And even if you think it is, everybody goes through something. Everybody has something that many times you don't know about and you will never know about. And so, rather than spending that energy of comparing uh, your perceived lack, you know, vis-a-vis them, how about you do your hard work and tell the truth about the, the poetry? You refuse to write the book you haven't finished the dusty yoga mat you need to blow off, sanitize and lay there, because in restorative yoga, you know, you can just lay on your mat. There is a pose called corpse where you just lay there and it's actually healing. So you know all of the energy that we can put into other ways of being that are good for us and then that affect those around us. 

44:17 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Yeah, what a difference that makes. I absolutely love it. As we're beginning to wrap up, I want to ask you about some advice you might share. So we have lots of women who are listening and, of course, men too, and all different age ranges. Obviously, I focus on women between 50 and 90, but I have so many listeners that are nowhere even near that that are getting inspired from these amazing conversations with my core of Reinvention Rebels. I would love for you to share one suggestion you have. 

44:56
When someone is trying to get started, they want to. They just have maybe this tiny little inkling. Maybe they got a little quiet and they got this inkling about something, or maybe they've had a dream for a long time. Yes, but they're listening to you right now. They're like, wow, look at what Cheryl's done, look at how she's ignited her life, look at how she's reinvented herself. Even thinking about yoga I'm becoming a yoga instructor at 68, where there are really no limits, no boundaries. If we say it's so and we just decide that there aren't any limits, no boundaries. If we say it's so and we just decide that there aren't any, what's one piece of advice about how someone could just make a micro movement to get started on their reinvention rebel journey. 

45:42 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
I think that's a legit question, given this show. I'm going to cheat and give them two suggestions. One is listen to all of the previous podcasts of Reinvention Rebels, because if that doesn't inspire them, I'm not sure what to say. But if they've listened and they really want like I want to do something and I don't know where to start and let's say they don't want to call me for a complimentary consultation, yeah, yeah, they don't want to commit to that for any reason I would recommend actually a vision board. I would recommend they get a poster board. 

46:21
Um, I've even done sessions before COVID where we did vision books. It's just a book that's got blank pages. Uh, I've done vision heads, which are the styrofoam heads that you could get it like. Yes, I've done all kind of cool things and so, and the another one that I've done is um, they sell it looks like it's a book but it's a, it's a craft store, it's kind of that craft paper but it it opens up. So you could do a vision treasure chest or a vision board. 

46:52
But the concept of visioning is that for those probably you've heard it, with the poster board you get some magazines. You, if you like, you can get some stickers from the dollar store or whatever, but you need a glue stick and a stack of magazines and cut out those words, those images and those pictures that inspire you or move your heart in some kind of way. So some people may just say you know, I want a castle and a Maserati, fine, but I think a vision board is a little bit deeper. You're trying to connect with things. Some people might call it a mood board, something that when you look at that picture it is moving you. 

47:33
It might be because it's beautiful. You may not want to mention it's just the well manicured lawn or the order, how orderly somebody's cabinet is or how beautiful a musical instrument is. I don't play a musical instrument and I'm always drawing the cellos and baby grand pianos. They are so beautiful to me. But I, you know I'm sensitive to that. So if a woman would give to herself or a man because I've done this with men as well just cutting out images and pictures and words and adding they want sparkles Some people do that and then putting it up somewhere where you can see it on a regular basis, in your office or your bedroom and add to it, if you want to add to it, that is a good place to start, because what's inside of you is going to come out and you pick those images and words for a reason and words. 

48:35 - Wendy Battles (Host)
For a reason. I love that. That is such a beautiful, simple way to get started, yet very powerful and impactful, and as someone who's done lots of different vision boards in the past, I find it to be such a wonderful tool to ignite, to spark, to see new possibilities, to lean into that inkling you might have Great advice, Cheryl. 

48:56 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Great advice you can't it's the wrong way to do it. No one can judge you. You have too few words or you have too many. There is no wrong way to do it, and I love that the pressure is off of you. Just enjoy it. 

49:09 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Yeah, yeah, and I think it's such a great fun thing to do yourself or with girlfriends or whomever right to create that. So I love it because I've done it before in groups and it was so much fun and it was just the energy feeding off of each other as we found things and be like, oh my God, I have this and I'm like where did you find that you know that kind of thing and people cut things out and leave them, and then you're like, oh, that's just what I needed, right. 

49:32 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
And Wendy, I've done it. I've done it in groups where, when we would leave space at the end for people just to hold their board up and report out, women have wept as they shared why they put that up there and what they were going through. And then it made us cry and some of it was fun, it was laughter, it was just. It felt like a healing, safe experience. That's why I recommend it. Fun with friends, fun alone. Children can do it with you. You can't do this wrong. 

50:00 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Can't go wrong. I love that you cannot go wrong. I want to ask you one last question, which is thinking about your amazing life over 68 years, all the different things that you've done, and especially thinking about reinventing yourself. If you had to give your reinvention, maybe we'll say the most recent one, because I know you've reinvented yourself in many different ways, many different times, like most of us, over the course of a lifetime. But thinking more recently about what we're talking about today, know you've reinvented yourself in many different ways, many different times, like most of us, over the course of a lifetime. But thinking more recently about what we're talking about today, how you reinvented yourself, if you had to give that a theme your reinvention what would it be? 

50:41 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
well, I'm 67 and so my next birthday I'm going to be 68, but it's relevant. I say my theme would be blossoming, blossoming, um. One of the sort of subtitles I'm using in my royal refresher podcast is heal and bloom. It's something about blooms and blossoms, that the connection to nature, that something starts as a seed and then over time, if it's watered and nurtured and is in the right soil and all of the things that you can think about. 

51:23
Rain is necessary and we want to run from those kinds of things, but if there is no rain, there will not be a plant. So I think what I have done over the years is blossomed, been pruned, sometimes against my will, been stepped on a few times. It looked kind of pitiful, but the roots were there, were there, and so that blooming and blossoming in different seasons and in response to different trials and setbacks and even good things, I'm just blossoming in another way in this season of my life it's deeper into the wellness, but I think that's always kind of the direction that I've moved in. So it would have to be. For me, reinventing myself is giving myself permission to blossom over and, over and over again. 

52:18 - Wendy Battles (Host)
I love the imagery of blossoming and the recurrence of it like a perennial yeah, you come back and you have those deep roots that you mentioned. That's so. That is such a beautiful way to express that. Thank you, I know. Oh, of course, your ideas to ignite their own reinvention are thinking how can I get in touch with Dr Cheryl Barnes? Where can I find this amazing woman who has a podcast, who is a coach, who runs workshops, who does all kinds of extraordinary things? How can people connect with you? 

53:08 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Well, thank you. Probably like everyone else, the easiest way is through social media. If you Google Cheryl White Barnes, I'll come up. I'm on Instagram as Dr S Barnes and Facebook and LinkedIn. 

53:30 - Wendy Battles (Host)
So Cheryl White Barnes or Dr Cheryl Barnes, and one of my websites is drcherylbarnescom, so wwwdrcherylbarnescom and Cheryl's with an S Wonderful, wonderful. And everything that you just mentioned is in the show notes. So if you thought that was so quick, I didn't get it all, not to worry, you can easily tap and go directly to Cheryl's website, to her podcast, to her social media account, so that you can connect with this amazing woman, cheryl Barnes. I cannot thank you enough for gracing me with your presence today. What a gift. Thank you, dear friend. Thank you. 

54:23 - Dr. Sheryl Barnes (Guest)
Wendy, I'm going to hold you to coming over. We'll meet at Bloom on one of our outings and another outing you got to come over and we got to have some tea and talk some more. So I appreciate you and thank you for all that you do for women like me. Thank you so much. 

54:42 - Wendy Battles (Host)
Thank you. It is a mutual admiration club and I cannot wait to get together with you and talk in much more detail, so thank you. Okay, I hope that you enjoyed today's episode with the amazing Dr Cheryl Barnes. I hope you soaked up her abundant wisdom about simple things we can do to ignite our reinvention journey and how we can use self-care and joy and blossoming as catalysts for growth and new possibilities. I loved what she had to share, and I hope you did too, and I cannot wait to see you here next week for another episode of the Reinvention Rebels podcast. Until that time, keep shining your light. The world needs you and all that you have to offer. See you soon.