If This Holiday Season Feels Tender, You’re Not Doing It Wrong: Permission to Be Where You Are

🌿 Episode Description

Not every holiday season feels joyful — and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

In this gentle solo episode, I share a heartfelt reflection for anyone moving through a tender, heavy, or quieter-than-expected holiday season. This is an invitation to slow down, lower expectations, and allow yourself to be exactly where you are — without guilt, explanation, or pressure to perform joy.

If you’re craving reassurance, softness, and permission to simply be, this episode is for you.

🌿 Show Notes 

The holidays are often filled with expectations — to feel joyful, grateful, connected, and festive. But what if this season feels tender instead?

In this solo episode, I’m sharing a compassionate reflection for anyone navigating a quieter, heavier, or more complex holiday season. I talk about how midlife reinvention doesn’t always look bold or loud — sometimes it looks like pausing, allowing, and sitting gently with what is.

This episode isn’t about fixing anything or pushing through. It’s about permission.

In this episode, I explore:

• Why tenderness during the holidays doesn’t mean you’re failing
• How midlife holidays can carry unexpected complexity
• Letting go of performative joy and unrealistic expectations
• Choosing kindness, softness, and rest instead of pushing
• How reinvention can unfold quietly through pause and reflection

I also shine a light on the Ageless Traveler podcast, which celebrates women who continue to explore, adventure, and discover what’s possible at every age.

If this season finds you feeling unsure, reflective, or in need of gentleness, this episode is a reminder that you’re not alone — and you’re exactly where you need to be.

🎧 Listen, pause, and take what you need.

Transcript

Hey friends, welcome back to the Reinvention Rebels podcast. I'm your host, Wendy, and I'm really happy that you are joining me today. If you are brand new, welcome to the Reinvention Rebels family. This is a place where we talk inspiration, empowerment, possibilities to take center stage in midlife and beyond. And shine like never before as we reinvent on this journey of life. And if you are regular, you know about the power of reinvention. So I'm really grateful that you're joining me today.

And you're probably hearing this perhaps a few days before Christmas, perhaps post Hanukkah, before Kwanza or during it. And I know that The holidays are supposed to be so much. But if this particular season feels tender, heavy, maybe quieter than you expected, I just want to say you are not alone. You're not doing anything wrong. And that's me this season. That's me this year. Not every holiday season feels joyful.

Not every year is full of sparkle and celebration. And especially in midlife.

You know that I know you know this already. We carry a lot. Our relationships, transitions, losses, caregiving, all the adult children, all the things, and often things we didn't even see coming. We couldn't have anticipated that we have to then deal with. So today's episode isn't about fixing anything or offering you tips to make the holidays better. It's simply an invitation to be where you are, to let the season be what it is, and to remind you that tenderness is not a failure. It's simply part of being human.

And that's where I am this season. I'm just trying to figure it out, to be honest, and sometimes stumbling my way through. So that resonates. Or if you're having joyful holidays, no matter where you are, I hope that you'll gain a few insights from my experience and it will offer a little inspiration. And of course, if it does, please feel free to share this episode, people in your life that could benefit from it, too. I want to talk about three simple themes or ideas I have around this tender season. And I want to start off by talking about this idea that sometimes reinvention looks like growth and bold moves.

And we talk about that a lot on this podcast, these women making remarkable changes. But it's not always that sometimes it looks like learning how to sit gently with what is, which I know is easier said than done. It's not always so easy to do that, and especially in a world where there are so many expectations for women. I know we all know that from when we're young to as we age, but especially on the holidays, I feel like there's so much pressure for us to make everything fabulous, to be performative about Joy, to make all the pieces fit together. We bend ourselves into so many different ways to do that. And it's interesting because I was. I was thinking back to when I was younger, and I just loved Christmas.

And it was such a perfect day for me, just being together. I get a new book and I read all day in front of the fire. And meanwhile, my mom was in the kitchen, basically all day, you know, making Christmas brunch. And then when that was over, starting in on dinner. And of course, as a kid, you don't know any different. You know the feeling that you have. But as I look back now, I'm wondering, did my mom actually enjoy the holidays?

Did she really have a chance to relax that day, or was she, you know, doing the work to make it joyful for everyone else, perhaps at her own expense. So, you know, holidays in midlife, well, they can come with complexity as we go through these changes, as we have unanticipated things, as we deal with everything, and it's not always clear. So for me, that means being a little more tender with ourselves, being a little vulnerable. That's okay. It doesn't mean we're broken if things aren't exactly how we want them to be. And also, I think that a quiet season during the holidays, that can be good. Those quiet seasons still matter, even if it's during the holidays when we have these expectations.

So maybe we could be a little more gentle with what is happening right now. So that's number one. Number two, what if the season isn't asking you to be cheerful, but instead, to really be more kind to yourself. And by that, I mean, what if we did less pushing, trying to make things happen, which I am the queen of doing, but we did more listening, just kind of slowing it all down and listening to what's going on inside. So that could tell us something. What if instead of feeling guilty we could lower expectations and just roll with it? Nothing is okay if everything is all the I's aren't dotted and the T's aren't crossed and you know this year I didn't even put up a tree.

I'm not feeling that. Just not feeling in that way given the season I'm in and that's okay too. What if we chose softness over having to explain ourselves to everybody? What if we just, we're okay with that? And if people don't understand or you don't want to explain, that's okay too. What if we let go of this need to hold it together? What if we just showed up how we are being our authentic selves?

And if that's less than perfect, that's okay. So what does that mean for you? How could you be more kind to yourself? How could you lower the expectations and still feel good about the holidays? Just some food for thought. And I want you now to think about this idea that becoming doesn't always look like action. Sometimes it does look like allowing.

So what if we thought about the holidays and how we might reinvent them differently? Because the truth of the matter is reinvention doesn't pause because life is hard. We're constantly Reinventing ourselves, even during these hard seasons. So allowing as we deal with these hard things, leaning into those feelings, saying no sometimes, I do find that my listening deepens when I allow myself to be quiet, when I allow myself to pause, when I invite in rest when I get more clear about my boundaries and when I really get into that space of silence. Those to me are all acts of being courageous. It's not always easy to allow ourselves rest or to be clear with other people in our lives about our boundaries or to settle into silence. But I think that there's so much possibility if we do.

So this season, what if you did one of those things, or perhaps all of those things? What if you rested more, or told someone about your boundaries, or just said no to something you don't want to do, or spent a day just being more quiet, even in the midst of A busy holiday season. What might be possible? What could you gain from that? This honestly is all about us evolving and figuring it out. Reinvention is often in these quiet moments. It's not always the rah rah rah.

I'm moving halfway around the world. I'm gonna do this big thing. It's often in reinventing the holidays, reinventing self-care, reinventing pausing. And knowing that if you're having one of the seasons I'm having where things feel hard and I'm unsure about the future, that's okay too. That's totally okay. And you deserve to lean into those feelings. So as we wrap up this very ad hoc episode where I'm just really sharing from the heart, it's just a reminder that wherever you are in this season, You, my amazing friend, are worthy of care, of compassion and gentleness.

Be tender with yourself. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone else. You don't have to rush your way through it. You just have to be and try that on for size and know that you are loved. And finding that self-love is just as important. So I hope you'll pause, reflect and go easy on yourselves this season, Rebels, whether it's a difficult season or a joyful season or somewhere in between. Now, I will say that before we go, I also have to shine a light on a podcast that I think many of you will really enjoy.

I always like to put a plug in for other female podcasters over 50 because I love us and what we're doing. And maybe as you're pausing this holiday season to not be so busy, you'll have a chance to take a listen to a podcast that I really, really love, and it's called the Ageless Traveler. It's my friend, Adrienne Berg. And she celebrates women who are exploring the world in meaningful, adventurous ways, literally at every age. So that's the idea, right? That no matter our age, but especially as we age, if we lean into adventure, there's so many possibilities. It's thoughtful, it's inspiring, and it's a reminder that there's still so much life to be lived for all of us, so much to uncover and discover.

So, you know you can find the Ageless Traveler wherever you listen to podcasts. Plus, I'm putting the link in the show notes. And I want to say one more thing as I'm wrapping up. It's the end of the year. It's been quite a year with the podcast. I've had the honor and pleasure of interviewing so many extraordinary women, having so many beautiful, powerful conversations. As well as sharing so many solo episodes and just sharing my thoughts from my heart.

So I want to thank you. I want to thank you for being a listener. I want to thank all the guests who joined me this season, this year in 2025.

I'm so proud of this community. I'm so proud to be part of the conversation about reinvention and the possibilities that exist for all of us. I just want to take a minute to appreciate all of you for showing up and going on this journey with me and figuring it out, even when it's hard or we're unsure or we're going through hard seasons, like right now for me. And even if you're not, oh, I just appreciate you and that you're here and you are part of our community. Wherever you are today, I want you to know I am sending you warmth and softness and permission to be exactly as you y'all, let's finish 2025 on a high note. Let's roll into 2026 feeling our best and ready for what it might bring, all the possibilities. So until next time, Rebels, keep shining your light.

The world needs you and all that you have to offer.