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Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast
Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast
205. Stretching Your Comfort Zone With Optimism
Welcome to our new mini-series where we its all about bringing a bit of OOOO to your work life: Optimism, Opportunity, Outgoing & Organisation. Four different topics, we explore the mindset, behaviours and tips that bring these to life in everyday practice. In this first episode we are joined by the inspirational Emily Cook who shares her thoughts on how it is keeping a sense of optimism that has enabled her to stretch outside her comfort zone .
A great listen for anyone who has a stretching period ahead of them, Emily gives us an uplifting reminder of the role of optimism plays to keep well on the easy and hard days.
You can connect with Emily Cook via her LinkedIn profile.
Optimism a useful topic for you right now? Here are some relevant past episodes:
Ep. 179. Keeping Successful Whilst Your Job Is Transforming
167. Keeping Optimistic During Challenge
140. Keeping an Optimistic Mindset
secrets from a coach thrive and maximize your potential in the evolving workplace. Your weekly podcast with debbie green of wishfish and laura thompson staveley of phenomenal training. Deb's, how are you always good to be physically in the room with?
Speaker 2:you. We are in the room. How magic is that? I know she's got legs. I've got legs. Yes, I travel. We're at a lovely venue actually.
Speaker 1:Beautiful venue.
Speaker 2:Recording live from a workshop that we're running.
Speaker 1:So yeah, Lovely, we're out on a leadership day release, aren't?
Speaker 2:we, we are.
Speaker 1:So we're all giddy because not only are we in the room together, but this is also the first in our new focus, and this mini series, because we're recording it in the month of October, is all about the oohs. So, optimism, opportunity organised, and then our fourth one is outgoing, oh, outgoing.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's not us, is it no?
Speaker 1:And so we thought it would be useful actually to have a look at some different perspectives. So we have got some amazing guests in store because, as people are telling us, there's nothing quite like listening to another person and their experiences. That can just fire off some memories and some light bulb moments in yourself. So we are delighted to be joined by this week's guest, which is the wonderful Emily Cook, and she is going to be giving us her take on what it means to bring an optimistic mindset, particularly through times of challenge and when there might be a lot on yes.
Speaker 2:Should we listen in and see what she has to say? Welcome everyone to our episode 205. And, as you can see, we have a wonderful guest with us. Emily Cook's going to join us, yeah, and she's going to tell us a little bit of her backstory.
Speaker 2:And we're looking at it from the focus of what we were sort of picking up on, what we did last in our last series around confidence, and this was all about getting out of our comfort zone and also thinking about how can we grow and develop and that we are in our stretch zone, but what can happen when we're in that and what does that mean when we're trying to create great teams that we're managing as well to help them get out of their comfort zones and into their stretch zone.
Speaker 2:But also, we wanted to focus a little bit around the importance of having more of an optimistic mindset, especially when it comes to challenges or things we're being faced with. And we just thought you know, emily, you'd be an amazing guest to talk to, because your story is full of richness and joy and a little bit of sadness and heartache in there, but actually, your ability to bring teams together as well as you get out of your comfort zone where talk about what you're about to embark on in a little while which I think is amazing, by the way and look about that optimistic side of life and how important it is for us as individuals, but also for teams. So welcome, emily. Thank you for joining us, thanks for having me. So tell us a little bit about you and what you're currently doing.
Speaker 3:Okay, so I have been in housing for 17 years, which is a long time. And my mom was in housing for 30 years, so it's definitely in the blood. So at the moment I am managing a team of 20 and they are dispersed, so you know I don't see them all day, every day. Yeah, so you know, trying to manage a team that you don't see in an office can be quite difficult, but I think they have it and they are doing brilliantly. So that's where we're at at the moment.
Speaker 2:Cool, and I love the fact where you said you know housing's in my blood. I just love that. So tell me what is it that you love about this industry?
Speaker 3:I think it is just so rewarding. You know it can be difficult, don't get me wrong, but it is so rewarding to see people living happily, safely, comfortably, in their own homes and obviously, where I'm working at the moment they are retirement living schemes, like villages almost that. You know people can envisage that where there's communal areas where they can go and spend some time together and a lot of the time, you know, they have lost partners so they are moving on their own and it means that they still have that community and it is so rewarding to walk in and see them up dancing or they're having a cheese and wine night and you know things that they wouldn't have necessarily done if they weren't living in that community.
Speaker 2:So it is just so rewarding to see it is, and you can certainly feel the energy and the vibe, can't you, when you go into them, and I suppose that depends on managing the team. Well, right, as you said, you've got 20 people that are dispersed, so you've got to manage that. Ups, downs, lows, highs, everything that they're being faced with, I suppose, on there every day. So share with us what it is you might have learned when it comes to managing teams that has really got you out of your comfort zone.
Speaker 3:I mean, I think you do find yourself in difficult situations, whether that be an issue within the workplace or whether there's change going on. I have learned that it's about getting your team to be on that journey with you, making sure they know the positives, because that is what gets them through, but also doing it small steps. So what is it? They say, if you change nothing, nothing changes. Yeah, you know, that is the biggest truth, and it's about explaining if things are changing, why it's changing and what the benefits are going to be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and if you know, if you can get them on that journey. That is the biggest hurdle. But also, you know, I've been in situations where I have been put on redundancy notice and my team have been put on redundancy notice and they are really upset, they are really worried and they are coming to me for support and actually I am also feeling exactly the same as those and that is a big step out of your comfort zone to have to park how you're feeling and just be a manager, be a leader to those. So yeah, I think small steps be positive and have a plan, always have a plan.
Speaker 2:I know, I know you love a plan Right and I think it gives you that reassurance as well that you know where you're working and I suppose when it comes to getting the best out of your teams you mentioned that positivity around it and when we hear the word about being optimistic and not having a pessimistic mindset- why is that so important in the world of work to have that more of an optimistic outlook rather than a pessimistic one for you?
Speaker 3:I think negativity breeds negativity, doesn't it?
Speaker 3:If you've got a negative mindset, you're going to be negative in what you're doing every day, and that is not healthy for anybody.
Speaker 3:We've been talking around career progression at work at the moment and a lot of my team have come into a role where they have been at the top of their game and they are actually just coming down now to work to their retirement and they kind of do become quite negative about that because they're like oh you know, you're talking about career progression. We don't want that, and what I've learned to do is pick up on their strengths. So I've got a member of staff who used to work in musical theatre, so she is really good at teaching people to stand up and be confident and speak. So we pull on her strengths and say say okay, you don't want the career progression, but you can share those that skill with the team and it's pulling on their strength. It might not be that they want to go up the ladder, but they've all got their own special qualities that they can share with each other and that's just great positivity because they they are sharing what they love and their passion with the rest of the team.
Speaker 3:So I think that is, you know, what makes a good team is working together and sharing ideas and skills.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's a really good point. And actually you made an interesting point where you've been put on notice of redundancy as your team and then you've just sort of put yourself to the side. So how have you then looked after you when you're going through big stuff? You know, like that that's a big, big change for you, right? Yeah, so how do you look after you as their manager so that you get your time to process what's going on, rather than leap into it and then, before you know it, they've gone, you've gone. It's like, oh, what happened there? How do you look?
Speaker 3:after you. Yeah, I think it's about taking time for yourself. So in in situations like that, I would make sure that I kept some time free to get outside and walk, because that is the time that you need to kind of regroup, deal with your own emotions, have the conversations with you know, with other people that are in the same situation as me at my level, and then step back in and game face on.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's it. And talking about putting your game face on, I know and you're going to have to share with the wider audience here you are way out of your comfort zone, right, Doing something for your charity, which is just incredible.
Speaker 3:So, first of all, tell us what you're actually doing I am learning to ballroom and latin dance for what is called strictly cum lanthony beginner to winner. So we've got roughly eight to ten weeks to learn a group dance and then a single dance with our dance partner. So we are currently having lessons twice a week at the moment because it is coming quite quickly. We've all been partnered with professionals, so my dance partner will is fantastic. He's actually ranked seventh in the uk. Oh wow, yes, so we have the best teachers. But yeah, it's been interesting, it's been fun that when we're doing the ballroom dance, they say to me you need to put your shoulders up but relax them, and I'm like, how do you do that? How do you put them up and relax them at the same time?
Speaker 2:Yeah, how do you do that? I'm intrigued. I'm sitting there going. Yeah. How do you do that? I'm like your body moves yeah. For anybody listening who's doing exactly that. Lift your shoulders and relax. You could probably sense how Emily's feeling around it. That's amazing, yeah. Feeling around it, that's amazing, yeah. So what are you learning about yourself, do you know?
Speaker 3:I'm learning that I can step out of my comfort zone. I once went on a very good stage coach training course, did you? And there was a lovely gentleman that once said to me when we were we were reading out you know, some speeches and we were in front of an audience and then you start panicking. He said to me.
Speaker 3:Nobody knows what you're going to say, and that has always stuck with me. And that is exactly how I've approached this dance. You know, if I mess up a dance move, nobody knows what my dance routine should have been. Yeah, and I think that has been really kind of impactful, because that is my view and that is how I go into everything. Now. Nobody actually knows what I'm supposed to be doing, nobody knows what I should be saying.
Speaker 3:That is how I've approached this dancing like let's just have some fun, it's for a brilliant cause, I'm doing it with some fantastic colleagues and I think that is the best approach to life. And I know, you know, losing my dad three years ago. We lost him in the space of five months. He he was up a ladder cutting down trees to five months later not being with us. And I think if you can't use that to be optimistic in life and just live every day to its full, then you know, I don't know. So that's what I try and do. When you see me dancing, you might think no, not at all, I think.
Speaker 2:I think it's an amazing thing and, as you said, yeah, around what happened with your experience with your dad. You know it's super sad, but and it's how have you come back and recognized, as you said, that you know life is for living right and that optimism that you must have taken from that, even at the time, it was heartbreaking, I can only imagine. But thinking about how you then channeled that for you to then change, shift, do something different, push yourself way out of your comfort zone to do things, and it's really interesting when we have life events happen that it suddenly gives us a different perspective on life, doesn't it, yeah?
Speaker 3:I think you can either, you know, be negative and be upset, or you can channel it and move forward. And I actually interviewed for the role that I'm in 24 hours after my dad passed away, wow, and I made that decision to channel the emotions and to do you know something with a very sad situation, and I was successful. And and here I am now and it's the best. And to do you know something with a very sad situation, and I was successful. And, and here I am now and it's the best way to be, because where would I be if I hadn't have channeled that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, and I commend you for that, and you mentioned you were doing it for a great cause. Tell us a little bit about the charity and what you know, what it stands for and what is it that it's going to bring for the greater good, really yeah, absolutely so.
Speaker 3:You know we work, um, you know the business is working with in retirement living, and we do work with some kind of vulnerable, uh, more vulnerable, customers, and we do find ourselves and this is this is the most one of the things that stands out to me with the charity and I will always talk about this that they do.
Speaker 3:So. What they will do is they they will give grants to local charities and local communities, and my favorite one is Christmas day. So you know, as you, you get older and you start losing family, that you know some people do not have anybody to sit and have Christmas dinner with. Yeah, and you know we're giving to charities that are arranging Christmas dinners and there's 40, 50, 60 people sat around eating Christmas dinner for somebody that potentially would have been sat on their own. And those kind of stories from the charity is just what makes you want to give it, makes you want to be part of it, and that is just a snippet of what the charity do. And they also match fund as well. So anything that we raise for the charity, they will match funds.
Speaker 2:Okay, it's just phenomenal yeah, that's amazing, isn't it? And you're strictly so, you're strictly experienced. Is that part of the, the sponsorship as well? You know what sits behind some of that and where is that gonna be good for other people?
Speaker 3:yeah, so with regards to, obviously, the sponsorship, we've all been given a sponsor which is obviously towards the, the funds raised, and then, I think the, the foundation will will then have money to be able to put into the pot to then be able to share to the local communities. So, yeah, you know it's benefit far and wide, which is just brilliant it's amazing, isn't it?
Speaker 2:and I know we're not afraid to say yeah, yeah, we are sponsoring you, right, as part of our secrets of a coach, and we're sponsoring the sequence, and I think it was Matt, one of your colleagues, matt Daniels, that sort of said when he was talking about it. We went do you have sponsors? And he went well, yeah, we are. And I went well, we can sponsor someone. And then he gave us you as our, as our, as our pro, as our dancer, which we were chopped to bits about. So, um, yeah, so I think it's just amazing and and you, as you mentioned, you've got other colleagues that are, you know, taking part. How many of you are doing this?
Speaker 3:so there's seven of us I think there is still seven of us and none of us have got any dancing background. We are on this journey together. It has just been an absolute ball like we, you know, get into. I actually look forward we. So we practice on a Wednesday evening and now on a Saturday morning. Okay, I actually look forward to to get in with them and the, the dance school that we're working with, are just amazing. Like I have to travel to Gloucester for the, for the uh, the dance classes, which is roughly about an hour from where I am. Okay, if it was closer, I would carry on with the dancing, would you? Yeah, I love it. It makes you feel good and I love, you know, the people that we're doing it with.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. So when we think about Emily, that whole experience of you stepping way out of your comfort zone into that world of dance, as you said, which is nothing you've ever done before. But what I loved is what you said no one knows whether you've done it right or wrong. Right, and you've got somebody working with you in your dance partner, will, that is going to support you as well, so he I know obviously from Carl's experience they just know how to pick you up and carry on right. It's amazing, isn't?
Speaker 3:it. It's so true because obviously you have to build that relationship with somebody that you don't know, and Will is only 17. Oh, but it is so funny because when we're doing the ballroom dance, I've got a habit of leaving my hand open and not holding it. And we're doing it and you can feel him shaking, put your hand down. And when we're walking, doing the group dance, obviously you've got steps that you need to do, but you do. If you're too close to another couple, you've got to kind of move away and and and Will just takes the lead and he's and I just follow. And it is just amazing like he.
Speaker 3:He had a competition on Sunday. I was dancing with him on Saturday and I said, are you nervous? And he was like, absolutely not, I just they. They amazed me. And, as you know, my little boy is into musical theatre and he's got his first audition on Saturday. Oh yes, and he's moved up to main stage now and he's not phased at all. He's like, mum, is it Saturday yet? And and it just I learned so much from him because he's got his script, he's got his song that he needs to sing and he just goes and does it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's incredible, isn't it? And I suppose that's part of who you are and instilling in your son the ability to look for the opportunity, to see it as a chance to do what you want to do, and I suppose, if we were to sort of bring it back into the place of work, it's being able to enable people to be their best selves. So, when you think about your top tips for being that great manager that you are, what would be your top tips to maybe other people that are listening in, that are managing teams and are just a little bit lost or not sure how to get the best? What would you suggest?
Speaker 3:I would absolutely say not to overthink. I think if you overthink a situation and you know a situation is coming, you know building up to it. That is the issue sometimes. So it's not to overthink but ask for support. You know my team know that they can ask me for support and I will be there backing them 100%. There is nothing wrong with asking for help or support if you you are feeling uncomfortable. Everybody works differently. You know, I manage 20 people and I manage them all very differently. Some I have to manage and guide them closer than others that will just go off and do their own thing. So, um, I think it is about you know understanding that change is good. It's not a bad thing. It's very daunting, but good things come from change.
Speaker 3:And I was with my previous company for for 14 years and the reason that I didn't leave was because it was comfortable. Yeah, it was comfortable, it was easy. And it was only my dad who, because I'd always spoke to him about, you know, wanting to work for McCarthy Stowe, he said, well, why aren't you doing it then? And I'm like well, you know, it's easy where I am now. And he was like but you're never going to learn anything new. You're never going to learn new ways of working, new ways of different businesses, how they work, if you stay where you are, and I've learned so much from making that jump and met new people and you know network. You know I'd never be here if I hadn't. It just opens so many doors.
Speaker 2:It's about focusing on the positives, yeah, and, as you said, getting out of that comfort zone and, whilst it might be a little bit daunting initially, going into a new organization, joining a team, having to manage different people, different bosses, and, and plus the same, with dance right, you're stepping into an arena that you've not been involved with. So I suppose, if you were to give your younger self a piece of advice, what would you say to your younger self? I would say go for it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I have always in my life been up until probably recently, probably five years ago I've always been more concerned about what everybody else thinks and what people are going to say, and I've sometimes missed opportunities and not done things that I want to because I've been too conscious about what other people are going to say. I would tell myself to just go for it. If you are happy, you do what makes you happy, and only great things can come from that. And that is what I instill in my team, into my children. You know, if you manage it, you go for it, don't worry, and I think that is what I would absolutely tell myself.
Speaker 2:I love that. I think you're so right. So tell us who the you know you're doing the charity, the dancing for the charity. What's the name of the charity? So, the fact that you're doing the charity, the dancing for the charity, what's the name of the charity? So people want to find it or reach out, or even donate, you know, because people always charities, always need support, right? What's their name? It's the McCarthy.
Speaker 3:Stone Foundation, so you can find us on the internet, the QR code that you'll be able to donate, and you know, every penny counts, count. So we would really appreciate to be able to, you know, make the difference and change, change people's lives, because that is exactly what this charity does.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, and it's incredible and I think yeah, I just think as you, as you're talking about the christmas and getting people together who would maybe be all alone. That's just, as you said, a very small part of what they do, but such an important part for the community in which you live, isn't it as well? And giving something back. So we definitely make sure people are signposted to that so they can find you. So I suppose you know when I think about you, emily, and thinking about what you bring to the party, so to speak, and when you think about how you've evolved over the last couple of years that you've been in the current role, what's been your biggest takeaway?
Speaker 3:Oh, that's a really good question. I've just learned so much and I think my biggest takeaway is there are no limits For me. There are no. Well, you know, ultimately without the team, we wouldn't have a business. They are the ones on the ground doing the day-to-day role, and it's about empowering them and making them realise that you know they are what keeps it going. So I think, like I say, I've just learned so much, but I think that was probably my biggest takeaway over the last few years.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I love that. I love it. So I mean, emily, we could chat for ages about your experiences and what you suggest and all that, so we might have to get you back, but I just want to say massive thank you. I love the fact that you're about to go into rehearsal and enjoy yourself. As you said, take that opportunity and make it happen. There are no limits, right? So, yeah, looking forward to seeing the end result of not just your dance work but also your amazing work that you do as a manager that looks out for your team, who feel super supported by you, and I think that's what's really important in today's world of work. So I just want to say a massive thank you for joining us and for sharing your experience around what makes it getting out of your comfort zone, what makes that so important, but also having that more of an optimistic mindset, looking for opportunities, positivity and possibility, I think. So I really appreciate you spending the time with us today. Thanks, emily, no worries, thanks for having me. You're welcome. Bye, see ya so law?
Speaker 1:what did you take away from listening to the fabulous emily? I could listen to emily for hours.
Speaker 2:She's just so refreshing to listen to she keeps it really real yeah, I really enjoyed it and and thinking about how she's gone out of her comfort zone, how she, you know, has gone there and done it and enabled her to grow and develop, it's just incredible. But she's done that because of her optimistic mind, which is, you know, she's not pessimistic by any stretch of the imagination, and I think that's what makes the biggest difference, isn't it? Is our mindset towards something, in order for us to get the best out of any situation that we're faced with.
Speaker 1:So she was really cool she was and you know we've had so many conversations with people via this podcast or in sort of general covers and going. Sometimes those life defining moments can actually just really reset your intention behind it, and I loved how she said don't overthink it, yes. Ask for support, yeah. And everybody does it differently. So if you've got 20 different people in your team, there might be 20 different ways in which you manage or interact with each other. And also, what really stuck out with me is how good things come from change.
Speaker 2:Yes, definitely. I think that was enlightening really to listen that you know she could have retreated back within and not move forward in anything to do with her life. But I mean she's had some life-changing events happen and yet she's seen the opportunity that sits within it. But her again, her approach to it has just been like very inspirational in the way that she's dealt with it, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, loved it. I was thinking as I was reflecting how I heard it said once and it really stuck with me, about living your life in a way for regret minimalization.
Speaker 2:Oh nice, I like that. Regret minimalization. That's so cool, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So if you feel an urge to go and buy us a new stationery, to have a new journal that is hashtag regret minimalization, then there's your excuse.
Speaker 2:I love it and you can write down all your optimistic thoughts. Yeah, love that.
Speaker 1:So in light of that, so bringing it back into everyday work. From your coach perspective, Debs, how important is it going to be to have an optimistic mindset in the months and years ahead in our world of work as we're seeing it evolve now?
Speaker 2:I think it's going to be really important, lord, because without that we can only potentially only ever see doom and gloom and nothing's going to change. So we can get stuck and actually what we want to be able to do is look for the possibilities, I think, that are there within that change, and also have that frame of mind that enables you to be curious about it and ask some questions and create clarity around what it is you want. But that can only come from that optimistic approach. There will be something on the other side, there is something out there. If I take the first step, that's going to lead to the second step. But you can only do that when you have that mindset that says I can rather than I can't, rather than that pessimistic mindset as well, and stretching out your comfort zone at times, because it can be really hard and I think people struggle sometimes to know that they can and I think that's the focus on what it is you want and then move forward towards it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, love it and we'll do a call to action in a moment, but, I think, never underestimate the impact that your optimistic mindset have on someone else as well, because we all influence each other, and likewise, you know, if you're surrounded at the moment by some pretty difficult scenarios or situations, then just to look after yourself in that as well. So, coach, as always, we're turning wishful thinking into practical action. So what would your call to action be thinking about? An optimistic mindset.
Speaker 2:So my call to action would be to absolutely flip your mindset. So if you're thinking negative, flip it to a positive and be mindful of the language that you're using so that it does come with a level of optimism, not pessimism. Wonderful.
Speaker 1:And my share of the secret would be if you know someone in your life, work-wise or life-wise, that you think could do with a bit of a pep talk, get them to listen to Emily, just to remind themselves of sometimes the best is yet to come and that positive mindset shift in a real way, not in a pretend way. I just want to say big thanks to Emily Cook again for just delivering some wonderful words of wisdom, useful for any stage of life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, definitely. It was really good to chat with her and I can't wait for the others to come, the other oohs, the other oohs that we're going to be bringing in as well.
Speaker 1:Beautiful. So this one has been all about optimism. Next on the radar is going to be organisation Yep Opportunity, opportunity.
Speaker 2:Outgoing. We get the oohs right. We get the oohs yeah, At the end of this series, Laura, we'll have them nailed.
Speaker 1:Yeah, lovely, we'll be on it, we'll be organised, and then we can go out with it with a plan, with a plan we can do that Every day is school day, eh, Debs?
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:We're always learning, always looking for that. So, in the meantime, how wonderful to be in the room with you, how wonderful to have your attention with this episode and, as always, we're here with you, cheering you on from the sidelines for the good days, the bad days and the really ugly days, always with optimism.
Speaker 2:Always with optimism. So have a fantastic week you too, laura, and I look forward to being in the room with you again tomorrow. Absolutely, how cool is that. How cool is that.
Speaker 1:All right, love you lots, love you lots.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 1:We hope you've enjoyed this podcast. We'd love to hear from you. Email us at contact at secretsfromacoachcom, or follow us on Insta or Facebook. If you're a Spotify listener, give us a rating, as it's easier for people to find us, and if you want to know more, visit our website, wwwsecretsfromacoachcom, and sign up for our newsletter here to cheer you on and help you thrive in the ever changing world of work.