Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast

259. Good Boundaries Enable Great Cultures

• Season 21 • Episode 259

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In the third episode of our Thriving Workplace Cultures mini-series, we explore how setting and keeping good boundaries isn’t just self-care ; it enables the overall culture to thrive. We explore how to protect your energy, manage pressure, and model healthy balance at work: raising self-awareness to the risk of self-sacrifice in a ‘take’ culture. 

We look at what it means to be your own Chief Energy Officer, how to protect your “pleasure oasis” amid hybrid chaos, and why proactive boundary-setting helps teams perform better, not less. We share real-world phrases for saying no without guilt, practical ways to plan ahead for busy periods, and the mindset shifts that turn exhaustion into empowerment. So that precious moments of downtime do not become like a mirage where you melt in a haze of admin catch up!

Listen if you’re:

  • Feeling stretched too thin or “always on”
  • Leading others and want to model sustainable performance
  • Ready to turn healthy boundaries into a shared team habit

Try this this week:
Pick one of the boundary-setting phrases that feels natural to you — and use it once. You’re not just protecting your time; you’re showing others how to thrive too.


SPEAKER_00:

Coming up on this week's Secrets from a Coach.

SPEAKER_08:

But it's having the confidence to say no, actually, I'm worth it. I need to look after me to be able to look after you, regardless of the role.

SPEAKER_05:

It's a three-step plan. First off, you need to protect your pleasure oasis. And so this is the equivalent of support underwear for your personal energy levels.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

Secrets from a coach. Thrive and maximise your potential in the evolving workplace. Your weekly podcast with Debbie Green of Wishfish and Laura Thompson Stavely of Phenomenal Training. Debs.

SPEAKER_08:

Law, are you alright?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah, I'm doing well. How are you doing with your little cold?

SPEAKER_08:

Oh, I can't shift it. It's just doing my head in. I can cope with everything else, but I'm a bit of a wiz when it comes with a cold because I hate them. Hate them. Vicks rub. I have everything. VIX inhaler, tunes, anything, fisherman friends, anything. It's just like I think I've drunk about four litres of orange juice in the last two days for vitamin C.

SPEAKER_05:

Well, just as well, you haven't got a role that requires you to have a strong voice.

SPEAKER_08:

Exactly, thank God. That's what the challenge is without losing it.

SPEAKER_05:

Fabulous. Always a good podcast episode when it starts off with the word lubricated in the first minute. I think it's gonna be a scorching one this one, Deb. So thank you for that setup. That's quite right, Laura. I knew you'd love that one. Absolutely. This is the third in our five-part focus looking at what makes thriving workplace cultures. And the first one we explored what are the beliefs and the behaviours that contribute to making a great workplace culture. It's all about the stories and uh sharing some of those good news stories can help lift beliefs and shift behaviours. Last week we looked at well, what happens when it all starts to turn a bit sour? So, what might me, what might be sensible for us to notice, choose, and then act if we can feel things turning a little bit toxic around us. So we had some practical tips around that. And uh, this focus is looking at well, the reason why we work in teams is there's too much work for one person to handle alone.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes.

SPEAKER_05:

However, if you're working hybrid, if you've got the gruelling ongoing marathon of uncertainty and change, how do you look after yourself within that workplace culture and how to set good boundaries to cope with pressure? So, speaking from your perception as a coach devs, I've got a couple of stories I was going to share with you that I just wanted to. See your see your perception. But um, how important is this topic? So, from a general perception of setting good boundaries to be able to deal with pressure either from people or workload, yeah how much of a hot topic is this at the moment?

SPEAKER_08:

Only yesterday I was working with a team, we were doing their like check-in review group coaching. So there were six of them on the team on the call, and every single one of them was uh feeling overwhelmed, don't know how to say no, not sure where their boundaries were. It's it's sort of slipping into their life, you know, their lifetime rather than keeping it in their work time, and they just they were so overwhelmed, they didn't know what they could do next. And it was fascinating to have that conversation because we had an hour and a half together and and they they were time poor, as they said, as their check-in. Yeah, at the end of that hour and a half, every single one of them looked so different on the Zoom, they looked more relaxed, they looked like they could have a plan, which a lot of them did have to go. This has been really useful because it was the time for them to just check in with themselves and go, Am I or am I making it that way? Um, I mean, they are busy, but it was it's a fascinating topic, and we're seeing it a lot, especially with the hybrid as well, and virtual working.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Because of course, let's just think really practically about this. 24 hours in a day. If I've got a half an hour meeting that is at the end of the day, but I've worried about it for 20 hours the weekend before, and for the whole of that day when I woke up and I might have had disrupted sleep, that's not just 30 minutes of work. That is four days of work potentially, where you've got that workload in on that. So you might be not at your best at that particular moment of uh of sort of delivery or performance, and it feels overwhelming because you in the meantime you've got all your other kind of stuff. So let me tell you the first of two stories that's really resonated with me this week.

SPEAKER_08:

Hit me with it.

SPEAKER_05:

All right, so I'll change some of the uh some of the criteria in case they they are listening in. But let's just say that someone was going to have a rather um internal medical examination.

SPEAKER_08:

Right.

SPEAKER_05:

And one that most people would not look forward to.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

But this person said, Do you know what? Um I was actually looking forward to it because I knew I was going to be under a general anaesthetic and no one could bother me and no one could contact me.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh my god. Whoa that's extreme. That that is extreme. That's extreme.

SPEAKER_05:

And the rest of the people on the call sort of went, wow. And and they said as well, you know, I hope it's not too much disclosure. We said, well, we're fine after that one. Um they said, um, yeah, I I I cried in the shower last night. I just felt really overwhelmed. You know, you got childcare, you got elder care, you got a big job that you're holding down. And um, and it was a it was a really powerful story. So I think that's gonna stick with me for quite a while. Looking forward to a general anesthetic.

SPEAKER_08:

Looking forward to a general anesthetic.

SPEAKER_05:

Because they knew that at that point no one could email, contact, message.

SPEAKER_08:

That it wow, I'm not that is crazy, isn't it? That is that's not for one, it's not healthy, obviously, but also it I think it also that poor person is you know needs support and is struggling. So, how do they set great boundaries that enable them to be really clear on I suppose what are the non-negotiables in their day, you know, so if they are having kid pickup, how do they work that? Um, because that just would not help them, and also it would impact their recovery from the general anaesthetic as well, because you know, that they probably want to get back to work really, really quick. Um, as so it's just going to compound maybe further on down the line. But from a mental health point of view, the pressure that puts on that individual is just crazy. And yeah, so it's I suppose how do you think what are your non-negotiables to wait for a general anesthetic means way you've waited too long to negotiate your boundaries or renegotiate them? Um, and how to say, I suppose no. Say, you know, as we always say yes to the person, but no to the task. Um, how can people put those boundaries in place?

SPEAKER_05:

I think that's some great stuff, and I know we're going to delve a little bit deeper into sort of practical steps and almost like the psychological steps that might go on to sort of shift to that. I mean, I I think it was for the for this person, it was it was a mirror moment. I think she, they, they potentially was a woman, uh, they were a bit um, I think they were almost a bit taken aback by this re this realisation of wow, I've actually had half an hour on this call just to sit and think about it, and oh my goodness. And I think it was a bit of a shock to them as well. The other bit that was um that was was quite powerful is the other people on the call who you could tell held this person in really high esteem, because they are seen as a real success in their organisation. I think it was quite um, I think it was quite an eye-opener for them as well. And then suddenly there's that reveal of oh, actually, it's not just me that is feeling like this, others, and in fact, people that are holding really high esteem are feeling like this as well. And to date, devs, that has been the number one motto that I've heard people say in 2025 from any workshop. Do you know it was actually quite reassuring to know it's not just me that feels like this, particularly if you've got a hybrid team and there's less of that chat time to be able to exchange the non-technical news.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, I think you're right. And the the team workshop we did actually, we were talking about um how to create great talent and get talent in as well. Sorry, it's on a separate one. And they were um again, because they were uh from different areas around the UK, they all came together in one space. And one person didn't even realise that they needed the space to be with other people to recognise that you know it's not just me, because they were felt, I suppose, isolated in where they are based because they're not in the hub of it, but to be together. So I know we we were talking about the importance of being back together and sharing and um and being part of something can really help go oh take a breath. And and it just enables you, I think, to um to re-establish what you're willing to do and what you have to do, what are the nice to-do's and what are the no's where you go. That's a one step too far. I shouldn't, you know, going back to your example, I that should not have been even contemplated in their conversation that I'm gonna have a rest because I'm out under a general anaesthetic. It's just mind-blowing that that, you know. So, how do we set those boundaries and you know, making sure that we do it well if we've never done that? Um, so the small consistent ones, so people get used to you not being around or not being there. Um, but it's having the confidence to say, no, actually, I'm worth it. I I I need to look after me to be able to look after you, regardless of the role. And all the time you do it and you don't say anything, I think people will just expect it of you. So whilst you're hard working and you're doing loads, if you're not saying actually, um, I can't do that for you right now, I can do it by this time next week, or something like that, they're never gonna know if you're always gonna say yes, yes, no problem, leave it with me. That's what we hear. No problem, leave it with me. And then that pile gets higher and higher for that individual and other people around to go, well, that's great, they're doing it. So they have no connection to see what impact that has.

SPEAKER_05:

It is, and of course, we mentioned this lots before, but when you're working physically next to someone, you can maybe see that workload piling up, or the fact that they haven't had time to uh eat lunch or go to the loo, or every time they've gone up to go to the to get to get a drink, someone's interrupted them or sort of grabbed them. So when you're working physically, all of that uh work is visible. I think I think the uh the convenience of remote working, it's very convenient, you might not need to travel. The lack the the less convenient thing is you might not have time to move because you are tethered to this kind of you know, ever ever um uh this this communication that can get you anywhere and everywhere. You know, you you can you can take it to the toilet, you can but you can't take it into the um the emergency, you know, the the the surgical room.

SPEAKER_08:

Into the surgical room, no, maybe we shouldn't be thinking that as a good way of getting some time.

SPEAKER_04:

No, no, that's definitely not takeaway.

SPEAKER_08:

Imagine if you just pitch up to um A and E and go, oh, I just thought I'd come and speak to someone because I can turn my phone off while I'm in here, I would look give you a psych assessment or something. Absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Let me tell you the second story.

SPEAKER_08:

Oh my gosh, go on.

SPEAKER_05:

So the main sort of thrust from that one um with the uh the general anesthetic story is I'm gonna be running a session actually for the for the team, and we're calling it this is a phrase we came up with in the pandemic, or we'd stumbled across it and ran with it, being your own CEO, chief energy officer.

SPEAKER_08:

Okay.

SPEAKER_05:

So there I was with my lovely friend yesterday, and she said, Um, yeah, I'm not great actually. I'm feeling really overwhelmed. She said, and even I just feel like I'm constantly the beck of call of everyone else's demands. And I've got friends that keep asking me, you must send me dates and when we can meet up, meet up, and you must do this and you must do that. And she runs three different businesses. Wow. And um, depending on the time that you're listening to this, we're about to end into enter into the season, the peak season for trade, particularly in her world. It's gonna be a busy three-month stretch. And her phrase was, I'm not even looking forward to the things that are supposed to be pleasurable at the moment. Like I'm I'm dreading the fact that I've got friends that I haven't seen for ages, and oh, I just want to withdraw. So uh we kind of had a bit of a chat, and uh, I I came up with like a bit of a three-step thing. Because as you know, Debs, I never call myself a coach because I can't resist.

SPEAKER_08:

You do like three steps.

SPEAKER_05:

I love three steps, but I can't resist telling people what I think I think their three steps should be.

SPEAKER_08:

I love it, but some to be fair, sometimes Lord, that's what people just need to start as a starter, right? Because then once you've you've you can see what they might need, you can offer that as a suggestion, and then it's how you then run with it and how they run with it. So I think you're okay.

SPEAKER_04:

Oh, okay, all right, fine. All right, as a slightly, a slightly shady coach.

SPEAKER_08:

Well, as always, as long as you follow up coach. So, what do you think about that suggestion? As long as you follow that, yeah, don't you see? So, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05:

Because that's a sales aspect, isn't it? You know, it is what are your thoughts so far?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05:

There's so much parallel between selling and coaching. Um, so here's what I said. I went, it's the three-step plan. First off, you need to protect your pleasure oasis. I said, This is the equivalent of support underwear for your personal energy levels.

SPEAKER_08:

Okay.

unknown:

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08:

That would have been a great conversation to listen into.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, it was. Yeah. So do you need to protect your pleasure oasis? So cut the drag from your perception of your to-do radar. Okay. With phrases like, upon reflection, I know I said that I would ferry you everywhere because you're a bit nervous about walking into this event on your own. Actually, that social commitment that I have each week is my oasis. And actually, I want to work really hard to ensure that that bit isn't taken away. So that might require an uncomfortable conversation short term, but as that phrase that we love on that TED talk that we saw, easy decision now, hard life later. Yes. Hard decision now to have that conversation for an easier life later. So it sounds so simple, Debs, and you give advice, you know, cut the drag, protect your pleasure, Oasis. Phrases like, upon reflection, I know I said that a couple of months ago, but actually things have changed a bit. Could you just give me an insight from your coaching perspective? What is the psychological journey that someone might need to take themselves towards being confident and able to have those types of conversations?

SPEAKER_08:

To distill it into however long we've got here. Um, I think it is stopping and thinking what's important for them and what why is it? I know we don't often ask why, but actually that's a that's a belief. So why are they hanging on to the fact that to be hardworking, always saying yes to everybody? What is that driving? You know, what behaviours is that driving within them? What are they getting back for that? Is it acknowledgement? Is it recognition? Is it that they they are wanted? Is it like to you? It can be a myriad of so many different nuances that sit within us that we may be not aware of. Um, but we get to that point where we just go, I can't keep doing this. And then it becomes awkward because you've got a relationship with that individual or those team people, and then you don't want to let them down, and you don't want to feel like you are not doing your job or your rubbish, or you're people will perceive you in a different way. So a lot of it is is self-led because you just think, oh, yeah, what are they gonna think of me now? They're gonna think I was really super efficient, and now I'm saying no, and they're gonna go look at me as if to say what? Yeah, but you always do it, and then I'm gonna feel guilt, and then I'm gonna want to do it, and then I'm gonna try and fix it in. Oh, we have to stop that patterning of behavior and get underneath the surface of, you know, so what is that driving within you? What is your your need, your desire, your want to be around involved? You know, what is it? So we have to unpick some of the stories that we tell ourselves in our own minds about the reason I'm doing this is because. So we always say, ask that question. You know, if you're being asked, you're gonna go, yeah, I can do that, go, oh, what's one, what's in it for me? Um, so we give people some phrases or they come up with their phrases around like what's in it for me. So before they say yes, they stop and they go, Okay, what am I saying yes to? What's in it for me? And what what is it that's driving that behaviour? I'm doing this because dot dot dot fill out the blanks. Um, and it can be quite humbling when you go, you know, I'm doing this because I want people to like me. And then you can see people go, it's a bit lame, doesn't it? Like, and I go, Well, you said it, I never said that, you know, and it's like, okay, let's unpick that then. What is that sense of feeling lame? Um, that you're not strong enough, you haven't got the confidence to say no, the self-belief isn't there. Um, so we do a lot of work then about building back up somebody's inner belief and inner confidence to say that one, you are worth looking after yourself first. Does that make sense?

SPEAKER_05:

Makes total sense listening to what you were just saying there, Debs. And as I was kind of reflecting as I was uh listening, those could be equally applicable for personal life commitments, professional life commitments. And in fact, the conversations, interestingly, that I had that led to those two stories that I shared, it wasn't necessarily work that was bubbling up, it was everything else around that then was was spilling out into that kind of life work blur. Um, and because actually sometimes work is your refuge. That's the bit where you've got control, people do what you ask them to. Yeah, it's in your it's you know, there's there's not like decades of drama that might be sitting between that relationship, you know, work because there is an exchange of time for money, yeah, can sometimes be the clean aspect of it, but it can impact your sense of confidence and control in in in work if other stuff is around. So I I love I love that. So to sort of sum up that bit then, if part of cutting the drag, protecting your pleasure oasis, part of that might be saying no. Yeah. And it's that balance of of course you can care fiercely about people, and you're a people too. So that's kind of you must remember that, yeah.

SPEAKER_08:

And I think some of the things you can, I suppose, from a coaching perspective, there's some reflection and prompts that I wrote, you know, put down here is saying that's not something I can commit to right now. Can I suggest X instead? So you're you're saying when you could do it, if that makes sense. So I'm at capacity at the moment, or I haven't got the headspace or the you know the scheduling to catch up with you, but when I can do it, you know, this is when I can. So you're pushing it there and then committing to it. Don't just cancel it. Um, and that enables us to think which you know what when I think about the phrases that I've heard like from us and what you might hear around you, which of those feels most natural to you? So you might have to try them on a few times and practice saying them out loud, um, because you'll have your own script, right? And you'll make it you. So asking yourself, you know, which of those phrases actually would feel most natural for me? Um, where in my work life do I need to start using one of those today? So can I use one and practice and give it a go and see how it feels? And how can I frame my no as a yes to something else? So, you know, well-being, focus, quality of life, time with my children, you know, just time for myself. So it gives us that opportunity to just reflect for a moment and go, yeah, actually, I I do that's what I want. This comes back to what do I want? What do I need to be able to function as a good human? Um, and people not, you know, normally if you're positioning it in a in a very congruent, authentic way, um, and you're just saying it as is the majority of people who are decent humans will go, oh, I had no idea. And then they take that step back because you've gone, hang on a moment, um, and then you can have a conversation about it. And most people are really, really understanding because they've either been there themselves or they know somebody that has. But if you're not saying it, they don't know it.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Yeah, love it. And especially if you're the type of person that says, I love helping people, I love helping out, it's just when that all just turns a bit too much and that sense of kind of overload.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, and it's also, you know, what is what's that driving in you? You know, sometimes we work with people who it's gone to the other, so um extreme. It's a brilliant quality to have, but when it starts impacting on you as the individual, we have to sort of understand what is it that sits behind that need, that desire, that want to be there or always be in the mix or or or so, and there's normally a story attached to it that goes back. And so we unpick the patterning of behaviour and work out a new pattern and support people as they try, try out the new pattern. How did it go for you? What did you learn? How do you feel? Because the feeling shift when you're taking back control of yourself and saying, no, but you've kept the relationship. It's the most amazing feeling. It's communication.

SPEAKER_05:

And of course, if you're the type of person or you've got the type of role where lots of people offload to you, if if you were a professional counsellor, part of that is to have your own supervision. Absolutely. And you would never go from client to client to client back to back. There would always be a gap and a space. So I think it can sometimes be quite empowering to look at those professions where part of what you do is care and listen and and and absorb people's kind of stuff. As part of that, to keep your professional qualifications and to keep your your rigour, you would have those gaps and those spaces in. So, you know, it's it's not a failing. It doesn't mean you're you're not strong enough to be able to carry all of that, but to do it consistently requires some of that, that those boundaries.

SPEAKER_08:

And I think, Lord, before you, yeah, so you got me thinking about your you always say about um planning and how your plan can help you manage your boundaries if you know what you've got coming and those demands that you've got, if you were to write them out and go, wow, when do I put me in the middle of that? So I think you've always said about you know, plan back to today, isn't it?

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Well, that links to the second tip that I shared with my mate Mo, which is how can you be proactive with all of this? So rather than sitting there and just feeling like a great big hot mess, just feeling overwhelmed, step one, you've got to protect your pleasure oasis. So saying no, all those wonderful things that we've uh you've just shared with us. The second one is be proactive. So if as it happens, you are balancing a big family life, you are running three businesses and a side hustle, if you've got a type of role where the seasonal period is going to be full on, rather than feeling guiltier and guilty and getting more and more lost in all of that, to actually take a deep breath and go, right, let me just think, as you said, plan the next couple of weeks, uh months ahead. For many people, that run-up to the holiday season is quite busy. So if you are more of an introverted preference, where are your moments of peace? And um, how can you ensure that the maybe the extroverted requirements on you don't drain you too much? And if you are an extrovert, um, if you've got an extroverted preference, how are you going to ensure that you spend some time with the people that do energize you so you're not just constantly kind of radiating stuff? And if you're a bit more of an omnivert, which is how I'm sort of feeling the older I get. I love people, but I also like a bit of quiet jigsaw time as well. So um, you know, if you've got a glamorous lifestyle, then it might be sitting there drinking champagne at a lovely bar. If you've got a less glamorous lifestyle or budget, where are those moments that for you you can you can connect? And it doesn't have to be an equal amount of time. You might not be able to have a day off once a week, but if it's just five minutes of where you feel like you're calling the shots on your time, then um that that those refuge spots we kind of called them, didn't we? Did that episode? Yeah. So that proactive. And then and then and then phrases like heads up, this time of year is gonna be crazy for me as a business owner, a PA, an events coordinator, a CEO. I'm gonna do my best, but I might not be as available as I usually am.

SPEAKER_08:

Yep.

SPEAKER_05:

Can we book something in for the start of the year?

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, absolutely. And again, it's that you're saying no in that moment, but you're not saying no to a future. So, and I think that's that's the difference rather than go, no, I'm not doing it, or oh yeah, I'll do it, and then burn out and then can't turn up anyway. You're managing yourself well because there's only you. And if you're not managing yourself, but you are managing a hundred other people, you know, there's got to be time that you put in. And I love your I love that oasis. I you've been saying about that. I mean, yeah, that's true. I sometimes will walk down to the local coffee shop, um, you know, which is just down the road from me, which has been opened a year. Thank God we've got a coffee shop put in, and it's the one of the best. And I can sit there with my Armand Croissant, um, sorry, Slim World, and my couple of the day after the day after weigh, well, maybe at the beginning of the week before Saturday, but um but yeah, when you go and sit outside Coughlins, I'll give them a shout out, Coughlin's Bakery. I know we don't, but they're amazing local business. But just to sit there and not have anything. So I consciously will put my phone uh outside because a lot of I watch people um and I go, wow, I wonder what they're doing. Yeah, so I sort of look rather than sit there with my coffee and be on my phone. I've consciously tried to make sure that if I'm sitting somewhere for that five minutes, I'm actually not feeling it and multitasking doing something else at the same time.

SPEAKER_05:

Debs, Debs, oh my goodness. So that metaphor of an oasis. Brilliant. What and also what you're just doing is you're ensuring that it's not a mirage. Yeah, it's actually real because I might have that planned coffee, but if I'm sitting there answering messages, Teams calls, doing this, recording a selfie, like, oh, then it's a mirage, isn't it? It's shimmering there on the horizon of it's all right, I've got that coffee booked on Friday. But if you get there, it's full of stuff that you've saved to do in that oasis, then it's a mirage. So it's turning that mirage into reality with those cast iron boundaries, because uh this this is the irony of it. Unless there is an emergency call that comes through, it's all self-generated.

SPEAKER_08:

Yes, it is. Yeah, absolutely. And I think well, then that's the bit we need to remember is that we can control our time, we really can. Um, but by as you said, some of the phrases you've used, by saying, you know, no in that moment, and the reason is, or you know, what about if we did it here? You know, then to get that conversation going rather than just say yes and then sit there with it piling up on top of you, and um and people want you to be efficient, so you know, why would they not hear you?

SPEAKER_05:

So the third tip I've send to my mate Mo was, and I mean, talk about physician heal thyself because uh it's all right talking a good game about how to do this third tip is actually doing it in that moment. So the habit of not pre-stacking and stitching yourself up with huge amounts of busyness that's just deferring it. So that example I gave of right, I'm really busy in the run-up to uh the season, the you know, the holiday season. I see you in January, and suddenly January is absolutely stuffed to the rafters and feels really stressful. So that idea of declining or penciling in gracefully. Yeah, yeah, so with graceful. So let's say you've had invites left, right, centre. I hope to come, I'd absolutely love to see you all. It really depends on trading, traffic, whatever external event that actually it does genuinely depend on. So that habit of if you're finding that there's a default, yes, I'd love to come. And then because you're someone that you know integrity is important, well, I said I did, I said I would, so I must do. And you're kind of hemming yourself in or already. So that sort of communication skill in that moment of I'd absolutely love to, and then converting that enthusiasm into a penciled-in commitment, which then means it is easier to then unwind it. And I know there's been times where that sits really uncomfortably with you, Debs, because with me, because I like to be seen as someone that is a safe pair of hands. If she says she's gonna be there, she's gonna show up. Yeah, but no, um, you know, if you're sobbing in the car outside that event, no one wants that. No one wants that, absolutely. But I think it's absolutely fascinating, and the relevance for this in our ever-evolving world of work is as the task load becomes more fluidly delivered and we can work in more agile ways, we've got to ensure that we don't become more and more fragile and um, you know, burnt out in all of that ability to communicate with everyone anywhere, anytime. The link between this and a healthy workplace culture is the reason why we work in teams as we're stronger and safer together. Where last week looked at well, what happens if it all starts to turn a bit sour? What can you do to just prevent or start to create a shift back towards positive? And this one is actually the responsibility of sometimes I think it might be easy to blame a company culture. They're making me do this, this is then happening. But actually, the only person that can call the shots on what am I gonna invest my psychological and physical time in is myself. So that CEO mindset, chief energy officer. There's no one in the world like you, and it's really important to look after yourself. So my share the secret would be who do you know in your sphere of influence that has maybe been using the busy, overloaded, overwhelmed phrase a bit? There's no magic wand to sort all this stuff out, but that recognition of lots of people are feeling the same. It's part of the you know the reason why um uh you know workplace stress is is such a big sort of topic. And hopefully we've shared some handy hints for in that moment and also a bit more strategically about how to look after your own energy levels through boundaries.

SPEAKER_08:

I think my call to action would be who is that safe pair of hands in your oasis? Um, who's gonna keep you grounded in the bigger picture when things start getting a bit messy or they get a bit too much? So, who is that person that you can just go and turn to who just brings you back to reality? And that's you know, a lot of the work we do as coaches is we ground people again. Um, so find your grounder.

SPEAKER_05:

Oh, love it. If you're feeling a bit ground down, find your grounder. Oh, I love that. Um, so this episode was looking at how important it is to protect your oasis through cast iron boundaries to enable us to work well with people, and um, so it's not a mirage. So while you're there, you can actually enjoy that time. Yeah. Next week is well, what happens if everyone else is behaving really poorly and really badly? How do I protect myself against um maybe the behaviours of others around us? So where this one was looking at boundaries around time, management, resource, and energy. Next week, we're gonna be exploring again the slightly lesser known part of a workplace culture is what happens if everyone else is acting not great around you? How do you handle that and what does that mean to remain empowered?

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, can't wait for that one. Look at resilience as well in that.

SPEAKER_05:

Love it. I know, and so let's see what stories we pick up this week, Dennis.

SPEAKER_08:

Yes, I'll be I'll be listening in, Lauren, let you know. And I definitely won't be thinking of getting time back by just going to booking myself to have a general anesthetic. That's not the plan.

SPEAKER_05:

No, have a croissant instead. That's the one.

SPEAKER_08:

I'll have a croissant, exactly.

SPEAKER_05:

I'll have a fabulous week.

SPEAKER_08:

You too, lovely. See you later.

unknown:

Bye.

SPEAKER_00:

Wow, Debs. 20 years of wishfish. What an amazing achievement this is. A huge congratulations to you and the entire team on this amazing milestone. 20 years of being fabulous, 20 years of helping people realise their full potential, unlocking stuff that they didn't realise that they had. And on a personal note, your passion for people, your wanting to help people realise their full potential and recognize and actually where the magic happens. You and the team have done an incredible job over the last 20 years, and I'm so proud of you all.

SPEAKER_06:

Congratulations, Wishfish, on your 20-year anniversary. What an incredible milestone of growth, impact, and transformation. Over the years I've had the privilege of working with several of their brilliant team members, and I'd like to give a special shout out to a few who've made a huge difference. Sharon delivered some truly amazing work on the Elizabeth line, creating a lasting impact on both the project and the people involved. I do really miss working with her. She remains one of the best LD professionals I've ever had the pleasure to collaborate with. More recently, Carl brought his expertise to team coaching sessions where I am at project leaders, adding real value and insight. Debbie was also an integral part of many programmes at the Elizabeth Line, playing a key role in supporting people's individual development and helping them thrive. Wishfish has been a trusted partner throughout, and their ability to combine deep expertise and genuine care for people's growth is what makes them stand out. Congratulations on 20 years and here's to many more.

SPEAKER_07:

Wow, 20 years for Wishfish, I cannot believe it. Where has the time gone? This is incredible. I have worked with them for about 16 years, whether that be through workshops, one-to-one coaching, psychometric testing, you name it, if it means development and the better of a person, team, department, business, then we've done it. It's been a collaborative effort throughout, and I always see Wishfish as a part of my HR team as opposed to a service provider that we bring in. They're a great team, great organisation, very well respected, and I, like I say, absolutely love working with each and every one of them. 20 years is amazing, and I wish you all continued success in everything that you do, and thank you for being so amazing in my professional career.

SPEAKER_01:

Wishfish 20th anniversary in ideas, in decision making, visionary and clarification. Wishfish has supported us in all of the above over the last 20 years. Whether it's by phone, by email, or in person, supporting us through their facilitators has been instrumental in making both my business and charity the success that it is today. Thank you to the Wishfish team and congratulations.

SPEAKER_03:

Hey Deb, huge congratulations to you and the Wishfish team on 20 years. What an amazing achievement. Thank you for all the work that you do. I absolutely love Secrets from a Coach. And Deb, thank you for working with me throughout my career so far. Um, your advice, your coaching means everything to me. And without you, um I don't know where I'd be on my leadership journey. Um, so keep lighting up those leadership sparks and um yeah, congrats.

SPEAKER_05:

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