Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast

266. The Constant Juggler: Staying Centred When Everything Is Competing For Your Time

• Season 21 • Episode 266

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Welcome to the first episode in our mini-series where we encourage you to Slow Down to Go Faster. As life gets busier and louder, we share practical tools to help you reset your rhythm and finish the year feeling clear rather than chaotic.

In this episode, we explore the reality of being a constant juggler in life: work, family, decisions, emotions, admin, other people’s expectations… all competing for your attention at once. Whether you lead a team, a household, a project or simply your own wellbeing, it’s easy to slip into overwhelm and reactive mode.

We share five simple and powerful ways to stay centred when the demands build up and life threatens to spiral. Overwhelm clouds our communication, decision-making and sense of perspective: which is why slowing down isn’t a luxury; it’s a form of life leadership.

A reassuring, practical listen for anyone feeling stretched, overloaded or pulled in multiple directions - and a gentle reminder that the more crowded life becomes, the more your clarity matters.

Key themes: overwhelm, clarity, life leadership, prioritisation, staying centred, reflection, communication, focus

SPEAKER_01:

Coming up on this week's Secrets from a Coach. The original origin of that word priority, I think it was a Greek word, is that it's a singular. So there's just a priority. So when you have a list of priorities being given to you or that you're creating, that was only apparent from about the 1950s.

SPEAKER_00:

You know, if you take a moment to pause, I think if you reflect on your 21 packets, if you can look in it and go, I did that. You know, they're the bits where you can sort of celebrate the progress you're making.

SPEAKER_01:

Secrets from a coach. Thrive and maximise your potential in the evolving workplace. Your weekly podcast with Debbie Green of Wishfish and Laura Thompson Stavely of Phenomenal Training. Law, are you alright?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Good week. Yeah, full on.

SPEAKER_00:

Full on. Lots going on, isn't there?

SPEAKER_01:

Lots going on. I mean, it's all sort of fun at the time, but there's a lot of kind of uh things to do, task lists to juggle, and um, listen to this. My poor friend. So her and her kids have been really excited about going to see this show for months.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Which then inspired me to then put tickets to go and see it.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Anyway, she's there, she's there commuting to work this morning, and she gets an email saying, We hope you enjoyed the show last night.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01:

She said her stomach just dropped and she she'd booked the wrong date. So for months, they've been getting excited about this Friday, and she'd booked it for the Thursday, and obviously she's just you know beside herself, just feels there's no one to blame other than herself. And um that's not good, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00:

That's because she's probably got too much going on, and just not really stopping to pause and think, right? Is and double checking some stuff as important as that. Oh, she must feel really like gutted.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm sure she'll be able she'll be able to turn it around because she's you know, she's the kind of person, yeah, very resourceful. But it's interesting because in um a lot of the work we're doing at the moment with organisations around health and well-being and how that links to sort of safety, so much of the the stuff that is kind of been talked about is just to to slow things down a bit because that's when accidents and incidents happen. I mean, booking tickets on the wrong night, it's unfortunate, but there's no major consequence. But you know, I imagine if you did a root cause analysis of some things that happened, slips, trips, and fours, it's because someone was rushing and weren't looking where they were going.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Well, we do that anyway. If you think about it, if we're running for the train and we go, I need to get a coffee, and then you haven't got your coffee, and then you spill your coffee because you ran and you bumped into someone that was coming the other way on their phone and not looking. It yeah, it doesn't help to rush, it really doesn't. Gets us nowhere.

SPEAKER_01:

No. So we thought um at the time of recording, this is the end of the calendar year, and what a perfect opportunity to just slow down to go faster. Yeah, and so this three-part mini-series is the perfect tool to be able to take a very practical look at how do I handle in the best way possible what's going on right now. Um, what is then the benefit that um planning for pause moments is going to bring, and then we're gonna do in a get ready with me style, get reviewing with me, which will be our third one. And that's where um you can work live alongside with us. If it's been a full-on um period, it's an opportunity then to be able to take some practical steps to be able to review and reset. So, Debs, from your coaching perspective, to what extent is it sometimes that what brings people to a coaching space is the fact that everything is just feeling big and overwhelming. So, how often is that the case why someone chooses to go to a coach?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that it's it's very a good one, and people do come frequently with that because they haven't got time to be able to do all the things that they really want to do. And as managers, I think you're juggling not just your own day job, but you're also juggling the people in your team, um, the announcements that are coming out from the organization, and it feels like it's coming at you from all directions. So people feel overwhelmed by that at times. They feel like they can't see the wood for the trees, um, and therefore to have that space, which is all about them, to just stop and process their thoughts and get it out loud and talk about it in a very calm environment, no distractions, phones are out of the way, no laptops. It just gives them that breath, that moment to pause and just re-establish what is important, what's not, what are they running around doing? Is it worth it? Is it not? Um, have they got so caught up in the melee of the speed of everything that they haven't stopped at all? And therefore, their brains sort of give up. I was working with somebody yesterday who said they have brain fog because there's just too much that they're carrying around in their brain. And we were talking about, you know, the conscious brain can only hold seven pieces of information before add another one, one bit falls out. So you wake up at three and go, I forgot to do that. Yeah, it's that where we're so got so much we can't see how we're gonna get through it. And it and it can cause um, it can cause stress and anxiety, and people worry then that they're not doing a good job, or they must be not on top of things. And what are people gonna think? So it can spiral and re and fuel your inner critic as well, which you know is not always is not the helpful critic to come out. We want your coach to come out. So they use that space to explore what they can do. So it's the the doing, it's the action that they do to start to move it forward and and make sense of it, really.

SPEAKER_01:

And um you just got me thinking, imagine if someone had eight children, they kept forgetting the eighth child's name.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that I those people that do have huge, huge, huge families. How? How do they manage that? I'm in awe of them. I just who wears what? You know, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And and the the the eighth kid at the end of the line has got like, you know, mismatched socks from uh the the eldest one, hasn't it?

SPEAKER_00:

The 1990s hand-me-downs are still going strong and they've come back around and they're now in fashion. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Um, so we called this episode the constant juggler. We did, which is um, yeah, a bit of a play on the film The Constant Gardener. So we just thought it had a bit of a sort of uh a memorable edge to it. And that idea of juggling, and what I see a lot as well is you've got your work persona, your professional persona, and your personal life as well, and that kind of squeezed middle. There might be some elder care, there might be some childcare responsibilities, you might have, I mean, the amount of people who have got ill pets, yeah, and that adds pressure and stress as well, you know, and pets are your additional family member, you know, so um for many people. So just those continuous the need to book appointments, let's say you've got a child with whom isn't thriving in school, and that's just taking loads of your attention up. So this idea of constantly juggling, and at some point you might drop some balls, you know, and they might have minimal consequence or or or you know, a big sort of consequence. And um what would be great to hear from your perspective, Debs, is what are some practical ways to be able to keep centred when everything's competing for your time? So, Debs, let's imagine we've got someone who's got a full-on to-do list in their work life, they've got masses of heavy lifting they're doing in their personal life, they're coping maybe with some emotional stuff that is maybe impacting their ability to fall asleep. Ah. What would be some practical tips that would help someone to be able to stay centered while there's all these things that they're juggling?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, this couldn't have come at a better time, Law, because um you've you do feel like everything is competing for your time and you haven't got got it. So I hear you. So I think that the one of the tips I would suggest is taking that pause before we sort of make a decision or jump into something. Um and that one good deep breath, which we know really, really works, um, it can then help switch off what we call the urgency mode to just react and it gives you that time to just turn on clarity and enables you to make a decision, a better decision in that moment. So we talk about the pause before you pounce, um, which can you know really make a difference. So that would be one thing. Um, I think the other thing that really is certainly has helped me this week is um deciding of what matters right now. So, what's the most important thing that I've got to do within the next 30 minutes or 60 minutes? Um, and then not not today, don't don't have it. What's the most important thing I've got to do today or this week? Or um, it's actually making sure that you've got a time. What is the biggest thing that's going to make the biggest difference? And then you can focus in rather than being frenetic or juggling again or going jumping from one thing to another and don't actually achieve anything. So I think that focus wins over what I call frenzy every single time. So I think that can really help. Debs, I've got two reflections on that. Go. So what was that phrase? Focus. Focus wins over frenzy.

SPEAKER_01:

So I remember um there's a couple of times where I've used an equivalent of that, of where um I'm herring around the house, leaving, you know, picking up things left, right, centre, from the printer, from this and this and that. About to sit in the car and do a long drive on, you know, a busy motorway stretch, and actually just almost taking myself in hand of the most important thing I should be having in my brain right now is how I drive safely. True, yeah. Because none of that stuff that is on my juggling list means anything if I don't arrive there safely.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

So sometimes I think there's those little moments of these things are bothering me, they're on my internal list. But actually, right now, I'm driving a car at 70 miles an hour, about to go on a slip road. Like that is actually the MIT, the most important thing right now, and that sure does snap you back to sort of center in the moment. And the second reflection was um that idea of sort of the one thing to focus on. That brilliant book that kept getting recommended to me about seven, eight years ago, Greg McEwen's book, Essentialism. Okay. And essentialism is if you focus all your energy on the few, you're far more likely to get it done than almost um having ten things that you're trying to focus on at one time. So basically busting the myth of multitasking. So you're you're more likely to get those three tasks done if you focus on one of those sort of at a time. And he sort of um deconstructs this idea of there being a list of priorities. Actually, the original origin of that word priority, I think it was a Greek word, is that it's a singular. So there's just a priority. So when you have a list of priorities being given to you or that you're creating, that was only apparent from about the 1950s, apparently.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, really? Oh my god, that see, we're not meant to multitask, Law. We're not meant to, one thing at a time, right?

SPEAKER_01:

So we've got to get back into ration, ration books of a priority. But I just think that links really nicely to your first one of pause before you pound that deep breath and pick your MIT, the most important thing. I think that's brilliant advice.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's perfect sense. Because that then helps you, which is the third one, around protecting your energy, because it is really precious, and because notice what drains you, but also notice what sustains you. So, how do you um if you like schedule in some of the stuff when you're at the hard stuff when you're at your best? So, but also how do you make sure that you're building in little recharge moments? Because you, you know, you wouldn't let your phone run out of charge. So, you know, you're you're constantly checking your phone to make sure it's still got power. But what about you? How do you plug you back in you know, routinely so that you can keep going? Because your your energy is the most precious thing you can have. So, how do we do that and do that well? I know you've got some thoughts around that as well, haven't you, Laura, as to how we can protect our energy?

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, in terms of sort of some very practical um aspects, but um, yeah, you just you just sort of thought, I've learned over the years, if there is a an appointment or a procedure or something that needs to be sort of booked in and it's a planned one, plan it before you go on holiday so it's done, rather than investing all this time and money to sit there, you know, go on holiday, and all you're doing is worrying about the first Tuesday when you get back. So I think there's also some sort of decisions you can make with yourself of right, I don't really want to do X, Y, Z. So let's let for me, this works for me, get it done. Yeah, before get it done before, yeah, and and then you can then relax and sort of, you know, feel feel good about the fact that you've coped with it. Because I I I've done a couple of I've you know, the other way you could do it is right, I want to get energized, so I'm gonna do that thing after I've had a holiday. But actually, if all you're doing is sitting there worrying about it, yeah, do it, then um, you know, that's that's our that's that's not that's draining. So I think that that that option of what drains me and what sustains me, I love that rhyming bit, means you can then make some practical decisions about when do I do stuff so then I maximise those moments downtime. Yes, and that maximising time, get ready for the carousella content.

SPEAKER_00:

Come on, bring it out.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, let me let me just riffle through. Let me find that slide deck from 2003. I'll change it from Times New Roman to Speak Pro.

SPEAKER_00:

Brand new. Oh hey, go on, what is it? Am I gonna love this one?

SPEAKER_01:

You're gonna well at least pretend that you do, Devs, because you've heard me bang on about this for good.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

You have quite a few, Law, and I'm thinking, is this the one that I really love?

SPEAKER_01:

All right, yeah. This is not the triple X rated one, Dev. This is the podcast appropriate. Um, so um the 21 packets of time.

SPEAKER_00:

That is the one I love.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, pitch of the scene. Right. You have um had an exceptionally busy bit of time uh behind. You want to do a bit of interview reviewing and you want to set a nice default diary. So knowing that life never goes to plan, but it's at least set in some factory settings, so you're aiming for a week that looks like it works in principle. At least you can look forward to the week, even if you know by Wednesday it's gonna go out, you know, potentially go out the window, plans go out the window. But the 21 packets of time concept just looks at the very simple resource over demand of I've only got a certain amount of time. If there's lots of things that you're juggling, well, let me just stay centered by me designing what's the optimum way of me um organizing my week. So the reason why it's called 21 packets of time is it's a simple maths of you've got Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, seven days. And within those seven days, you've got your morning, your afternoon, and your evening slot, and then the kind of the dark slot where you've got your eight hours sleep, and they say the secret to a healthy, happy life is eight hours work, eight hours sleep, eight hours hustle. So hustle might be a sideline that you've got going on, or they might be quite draining things that you're dealing with. So your choice might not be to be in a carer role, but if that is the way that your life at the moment has worked out, what this enables you to do is take a sense of empowerment around okay, there are things that I'm having to do at the moment that would not be on my choice, my preference, but how am I going to look very practically at how I sort of balance that? And so, what that then enables you to do is to look at three times seven, that gives you 21 packets of time, 21 meals a week.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And then it enables you to chunk your time basically. And the benefit that could bring is it immediately takes you a bit more strategic rather than just juggling what's on your to-do list. It gives that gift of um just reminding yourself that there are moments where you are still in charge of what you choose to do with when. And sometimes the lower the resilience that gets that we get, the more vulnerable we are to agreeing to things that actually don't kind of work. So the default diary approach is in general how what what's working for me at the moment in terms of when I do what, with whom and how. There might be some regular commitments and also leaving enough sort of space and time for you. So that 21 pack is a time. I mean, oh my god, we've just rolled that out so many times, but it's so practical, and you can digitize it, you can ask your AI to organise it for you. It doesn't have to be paper and pen, you know, like we might have done sort of just five years ago. But that that protecting what drains and sustains you, and then you can make some very practical decisions. What do I want to do less of? What do I want to do more of? And when would be the sensible time to plan that in with a week? And it works nicely if you've had a shift in your life that has required more things or different things to juggle.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Oh my god, I think I'm gonna just go and do that, Law. So um, I'll let you carry on for the rest of the podcast. So that's just what I need. But before, I suppose I can't leave you lurch in the lurch, can I?

SPEAKER_01:

Don't worry, I'll I'll drag out some old content from 1997 devs. I'll keep them entertained.

SPEAKER_00:

Love that. Oh my god. Because actually, that nicely links into the the fourth one was about making decisions from your values, you know, your values. So if you're a bit unsure, choose the option that aligns with your values, which is really, really important. Um, because you've just said it's you know, who are you, what do you stand for? Um, and they're like your internal compass, if you like. So it enables you to say no in a kind way if you if you can't add another thing into your calendar or diary. It enables you to re-establish, you know, what timing you have got available and things like that. And I think that works really nicely. If you've done your 21 packets and you can see it visually, then that's gonna help you make better decisions when it's sort of based on your values, um, which I think is really, really important to just remind yourself of them as well. Um, and the last one for me is letting go of that myth of all done in inverted commas. So progress over perfection every time. Um, because nothing is ever going to be perfect, exactly perfect. I suppose unless you're a surgeon, you're doing facelift surgery for somebody, then it has to be perfect. But it doesn't always work that way, right? Especially if they're rushing. You know, you might have an eyebrow up here and a chin down here, but hey, depends whether you where you went before it. So there are times when it has come perfection.

SPEAKER_01:

Luckily, our core client base doesn't tend to be plastic surgeons. We haven't entered into that industry yet.

SPEAKER_00:

So uh no, we haven't. That just made me think. You can tell when my brain is not like full up with stuff. Oh so I suppose it's again consciously celebrating the things that are moving forward. And I think that's where the you know, if you take a moment to pause, I think if you reflect on your 21 packets, if you can look in it and go, I did that. Um, you know, they're the bits where you can sort of celebrate the progress you're making. Then you can choose to park what you don't need to do. Um, so you can just release the rest of the stuff that is just playing for your attention and you're constantly juggling in your head. But the minute you've got it out there, um, you can then choose with intent which one can I do? So they just all of these can just help you not be constant juggling everything and being pulled where everything seems to be competing for your time. Um, but it just starts with a moment and you know, just go breathe.

SPEAKER_01:

Love it. So to recap, breathe, yeah, pick your MIT, most important thing right now. Yeah. Make a strategic decision about what I want to do less for the stuff that drains, more the stuff that sustains.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Make further decisions from your value, so what's important to me, and giving more thinking time to be able to, rather than juggling, to be able to position by that letting go. I love that um consciously celebrating. So letting go of rather than looking at all the things I haven't done, looking at just just acknowledging the things that you have done. Love that.

SPEAKER_00:

Really important.

SPEAKER_01:

And I think these five tips that you've taken us through is ideal. So if I kind of wrap up with a share the secret, I I think these types of things are really ideal to share with friends or colleagues or family members with whom are when you check in with them, they're saying, Oh, it's full on. I'll be glad for this year to be over. I mean, the amount of times I've had people say, I'll be glad for this year to be over. And then when you just pause on that, actually, there'll be loads of people with whom would have loved to have had just even more time to have had the year that you've had. So it's it's sort of a bringing a value to it, even if it might not have been an easy time, and if it feels like it's constantly juggling, then um this this is uh you know uh hopefully a useful episode to share with someone who wants some practical tips to be able to pause to then um go faster. So um and Debs, in true coaching style, what would be your actionable suggestions for the week ahead?

SPEAKER_00:

I think my actionable would be to do yourself a favour and do a 21 packets of time for the next couple of weeks so that you've and put it somewhere that you can see it. So it's it's there, so you can at uh when you are being called, pulled, rather than going, oh hang on a minute, let me check this, check this, check that, it's actually there for you, so you haven't got to put more brain power in to go through your phone or calendar or diary or whatever. You can just see it. So I think that would be my call to action. Do yourself a 21 package in time and include in that all of the other things that you've got coming out, you know, up as well, whether it's you know, not just work stuff, but all the other things that you've got to do um over the next couple of weeks, just so you know where you can then put in time for you as well. Where's your me time gonna go in there?

SPEAKER_01:

Nice. So you're not just in it, you can be on it, taking a bit of a higher perspective. Yes, love it. Um, so Debs, this was the first part.

SPEAKER_02:

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01:

This is the first part of our slow down to go faster three-part mini-series. So this was right, how do I see the wood for the trees? Um, constantly juggling. Next week, super excited about this. We're gonna explore some deeper tips around the gift of pause. So rest as a radical act. So um, I think that'll be interesting to uh to focus on that. And then our final one is we're gonna do a get get reviewing with me. So it's a chance to do uh live reflect, reset, and renew. So um nice a brilliant way to be able to close down one season or one chapter and then freshen yourself up for the next. So um, Debs, yes, may you have a consciously celebratory week.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. And may your focus win over frenzy, Lore. Oh, Debs.

SPEAKER_01:

Have a good one. Oh, you too. Love you! Love you. We hope you've enjoyed this podcast. We'd love to hear from you. Email us at contact at secretstromacoach.com or follow us on Insta or Facebook. If you're a Spotify listener, give us the rating as it's easier for people to find us. And if you want to know more, visit our website www.secrets from a coach.com and sign up for our newsletter. Here to cheer you on and help you thrive in the ever-changing world of work.