Secrets From a Coach - Debbie Green & Laura Thomson's Podcast

269. Set Intentions, Not Resolutions: Get Vision-Ready for What’s Next

• Season 22 • Episode 269

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Welcome to Part 1 of our four-part Fresh Start mini-series -  a companion episode to Ep. 268 where we invite you to get vision-ready with us.

Whether you’re stepping into a new year, a new team, a new financial reality, a new role, or a whole new life chapter - or it simply feels like time to turn over a fresh page, this episode is about setting your intent for the phase ahead.

Rather than making promises that can add pressure or create quiet guilt, we explore a mindset reset: progress over perfection. When we focus on direction rather than demands, energy and momentum follow.

We unpack psychologist Julian Rotter’s work on Internal vs External Locus of Control, and why seeing yourself as the agent (not the victim) of events is linked to stronger wellbeing, clearer decision-making, and better personal and commercial outcomes.

Finally, we share our brand-new FRESH intention-setting tool:  a simple, team-friendly way to galvanise focus and momentum. It’s ideal for meetings where you want people to leave feeling Focused, Realistic, Empowered, Strategic and Happy about the task-load ahead.

A calm, motivating listen for anyone ready to reset their lens and move forward with purpose - no matter our age, stage or background. As Maria Robinson reminds us: “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

SPEAKER_02:

Coming up on this week's Secrets from a Coach. The external locus of control is where I don't feel empowered to undo stuff. Now, that gives you a convenient way to not take responsibility for things that you don't want to.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

But it can create a sense of helplessness, it can create a sense of disempowerment, and you're less likely to make healthy, thrive-based choices in your life because what's the point? Crap always happens to me. The internal locus of control is I call the shots in my life. So stuff happens externally, and it's I've got the choice, then, which I know you're hugely keen about to be able to choose what I do. So I make things happen in my life, regardless of the external events that happen. Secrets from a coach. Thrive and maximise your potential in the evolving workplace. Your weekly podcast with Debbie Green of Wishfish and Laura Thompson-Stavely of Phenomenal Training. Debs.

SPEAKER_00:

Law, you alright?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I'm doing well. Happy New Year. Yes, happy new year to you. New Year, new me, Debs. I'm gonna be a whole new person.

SPEAKER_00:

I'm gonna stick to all my resolutions and all that rubbish.

SPEAKER_02:

No more mucking about. That is it. I'm all these things. Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Um, so welcome to episode 269. And this is an opportunity to channeling the whole get ready with me social um phenomena. We are going to channel that and uh we invite you to join us on a get vision setting with me, where we are gonna give you the highlights and the top tricks to whether it's for self, whether it's for your team, to have a vision setting, purpose resetting, um, getting your plans in gear, whether it is new year, new team, new financial year, new job, new chapter, or you just want to turn over a new leaf. We hope you find this an upbeat, practical session. But Debs, we did have an interesting, funny little exchange with our team earlier on, didn't we?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, we did. It was quite interesting, wasn't it, about whether we would um how would we mitigate risks? What would we do if we were stuck in an airport? Because one of our colleagues is stuck in an airport at the moment and can't get back. Um, would one of us said we'd go and see the pyramids, and then the other said no, we would stay there and wait in case we're called. And then we were on about resolutions and goal setting, weren't we? Which was hysterical actually as to why we do and don't.

SPEAKER_02:

It was really funny. So I don't know whether it's because I'm a Capricorn, I don't know whether it's just I was made that way or or developed that way, but I need a plan. You do. So nothing fires me up more in a January than having a sense of idea as to what I'm doing in December.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, I know. And you always set that plan though, Laura, don't you?

SPEAKER_02:

I know, but I think there's others in the team that quite frankly would be horrified and would feel a little bit boxed in if they already had an idea as to what they were doing in in December. So we just thought that was quite an interesting refresher of different things work for different people.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

But the overall intent we want from this is a sense of um energy, optimism, and empowerment for the next stage ahead.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, absolutely. And I think that's what we thought wouldn't it be fun if we were looking at this whole concept of new year, new me, or new you or whatever, and then setting intentions, not resolutions, but with kindness at the core. And I think that's what we need to think about as to um, because I think resolutions often come from a place of fixing things, um, like I should be doing this, I must lose 24 stone, I failed before because I wasn't good enough, and all of that stuff. Whereas I think intentions come from a place of choosing, and therefore I'm curious about wanting to find out more, or I want to move towards uh whatever that might be, the intention might be, or I'm open to becoming something, something, something. So I think it's it's this it's more directional, I think, as well. Intentions, they're matt definitely more compassionate around it, and also I think they can be more flexible because they allow that space and time for being human and having to deal with stuff that might come in um at a particular time, and therefore you you know the resolution you set has just been blown out the window because of something that was completely out of your control. So I think, yeah, it's I I think it's the curiosity piece, which I love anyway, is the cute being curious about it. But um, yeah, and I think if we think about what we can do, the benefits of setting resolutions or setting intentions, I should say, not resolutions, um, they're not outcome obsessed, um, because they're values-led. So visiting, you know, like we did uh our last episode of the year, wasn't it? We were looking at that. Yeah, what are your values? So they're becoming from that place, you're focusing on how you how you want to live, um, not just what you want to achieve. So that whole intention of being is a choice. Um, I think they So Yeah, sorry, Laura.

SPEAKER_02:

So Des, why don't we just do a light touch on the benefits of it? And then I'd love to hear from your uh or your from your experience of of coaching all sorts of people, all sorts and sorts of shapes and sizes, the type of things that help in that coaching space to reset your intent. And then um, let's then like take it up a bit. If you're doing this with a team, it's almost like a team coaching or team interaction. Yeah. Um, and this is all um the first in a uh four-part focus in January, looking at fresh start. And just to quote a favourite quote that I unearthed from some material way back when this is a new one for you, wasn't it, Deb? Maria Robinson. Nobody can go back and create a new beginning, but anybody can start today to create a new ending.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So matter what, no matter what your age or stage, you're never too old to reset your intention or um your you know your kind of direction. So um, yeah, so in a moment, it'd be brilliant to hear your thoughts in terms of the practical steps that you might help take a sort of coaching client through that.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um I'll tell you what um reminded me when we were just researching this, and I know um you're you're keen on this this tool as well, but Rotter's 1954 work around locus of control.

SPEAKER_00:

I can't believe it's that old.

SPEAKER_02:

It's that old. Um, and I've got a sort of a slightly fresh take that I wanted to run past to see if you sort of thought it was good. But there are a lot of if you haven't heard of it before, Rotter's locus of control. Um, so it's well over 70 years old now, but it really looks at um this idea of empowerment and who is running one's life. So uh is it the mindset of an external locus of control? So things happen to me, stuff always happens that I have to deal with. It's them lot over there that is creating this um challenge that I'm having to deal with. So the locus, the external locus of control is where I don't feel empowered to um do stuff. Now that gives you a convenient way to not take responsibility for things that you don't want to, yeah, but it can create a sense of helplessness, it can create a sense of disempowerment, and you're less likely to make healthy, thrive-based choices in your life because what's the point? Crap always happens to me. The internal locus of control is I call the shots in my life. So stuff happens externally, and it's I've got the choice, then, which I know you're hugely keen about to be able to choose what I do. So I make things happen in my life, regardless of the external events that happen. So this really picks up the stuff that the Stoics were talking about thousands of years.

SPEAKER_00:

Favourite people, Lord.

SPEAKER_02:

Favourite people, my old mate's the Stoics. Um you have to start hanging around with people older than yourself, so you feel young, don't you?

SPEAKER_00:

Um is that why you hang around with me, isn't it, Laura? Exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah, just just tucking into the old scripts uh just to uh feel nice and young. Um, and um, and of course, their stuff was around um man is not influenced by events alone, it's your take on those, on your perception on that. But the clear link that Rotta came up with in 1954 was people who have an internal locus of control. So I control my life and I control how I choose to deal with things, they tend to feel happier, they have healthier habits, they've got lower likelihood to become addicted to substances that aren't healthy long term, and um from a well-being point of view, that internal locus of control. Now, it can be short-term discomfort because suddenly, if all my friends don't like me anymore, that's for me to do something about.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

Which is an uncomfortable mirror moment.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it is.

SPEAKER_02:

Whereas it's much easier to sort of blame everyone, you know, all my friends are all the wrong types of people because I always seem to find the wrong types of people. So the internal locus of control. So that's like classic 70 years plus. The modern day take on that that I thought might be interesting to add to it is in 1954, all you had was a newspaper, a book, and a chat across the garden fence, maybe to be the info that you had to process. In 2026 and beyond, there's so many things out there competing for our attention. So I wonder whether the modern day benefit of intention setting is it doesn't just create an environment where people tend to be healthier and happier, it also enables you to crack on and do stuff that you want and not just be vulnerable to very compelling entertainment. Yeah. So definitely what would be great to hear from you is how do we set intentions that are so interesting? It's it's more compelling than a Netflix box set. I'll see what I can do for you, Laura. Unless you work for Netflix, in which case, crack on, crack on. That's your KPI. So Debs, typically on a Secret Summer Coach podcast, or always uh, you know, names are protected, but it would just be so fascinating to get your take on all those thousands of people you've worked with.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

Um, what benefit does creating a sense of um intention bring to people? Yeah. And what would be some simple basic steps that all of us could channel right here, right now?

SPEAKER_00:

No, definitely. And I I think you know, we mentioned the one earlier about you know that they're values led normally, your intentions are coming from a place of how you want to live your life. And I think going back to what you were just saying earlier, they do support your oh wellness, well-being, and and not the burnout side of it, because if we're always um chasing for things and we're running out of energy or something happens, that's not good for us in the long run. So they work with your energy, not against it. So, you know, if you if you think you're gonna wake up um and think, right, my my intention is to get fitter, and it's like, well, yeah, what how do you quantify what fitter means for you? And it will be different for everybody. So thinking about what that looks like, um, so that you're working with your energy, you know. Because if you can't get up at six o'clock in the morning and do commit to doing a run, why would you? Um, so you know, it's really making sure you're aware of who you are and what works for you. I think um I think also it can help you move away from that self-judgment because you can return to an intention again and again without failing at it. Um, because again, that's where the flexibility comes in. Because if something happens outside of your control, um, you can actually just pause on what you're doing, but it hasn't gone. It just means you can revisit it and see if it's the right intention or not. Um, and the bit I love is that there's two things here. It one is about presence, so it's about being in the now all the time. So you're not dreaming seven, five, ten, twenty-five years ahead. You're not looking back 25 years, 10 years, whatever it might be. Um, it's about intentional living in the now, so not a distant perfect future. Because lots of people, when I work with them, want to set up whatever they perceive to be a perfect life, and then you know, it's got to be have this and it must be this. And and you go, well, actually, is that really what's gonna happen? Um, because it doesn't always. So I think that's really uh inviting people then to have curiosity over what they're doing, what's working, what's not, and what might you need to adjust rather than having the control like I must do this, um, you know, I failed last year to do my resolution, I must do it this year, I should have done it last year, you know. So it takes away all of that um, I suppose, all the way that judgment again and fixing things, you're actually choosing to be. So it's a really interesting benefit of it. They're they're vast when we are working with intent, and choice is a big thing on that one. Um, but we have to be present in the now in order to do that. So I suppose one of the things we always get people to, I was doing something with somebody earlier actually, and they were coming up with their um their intentions for the this year and beyond. And it was really good to listen to what they'd said because they'd started off with um loads of things they wanted to achieve. So they'd gone into like the resolution thing, what they could fix. By the end of it, we'd actually had some questions around it. Um instead of what should I do this year, we were asking, how do I want to feel more often? And then what do I want to experience more of? So we we start with how do you want to feel this year? So we're starting with that gentle, you know, meaningful intentions that connect with how you want to feel, instead of asking, what should I do this year? I must do this this year, it takes that away. And also, I think the other question we were asking was, what do I want to protect? So my energy, joy, my health, time. It can be, you know, big things, but we can do that so that we're in a space where we might be calmer, braver to attack different things, spacious, playful, grounded, connected. And they were some of the words that came out that supported um the individual starting with how do you want to feel? So I think that's a really nice one to think. So if you were to set your intention law for 2026, how would you want to feel?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, uh, without sounding like some super geek student who has done all the homework.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, but you are though.

SPEAKER_02:

You like to know. I was such a geek for all of this stuff. Um, I have already set my 2026 um sort of intent. So does this how how does this how does this compare to what you're saying? So for me, this year I want to be bold. Okay, so you want to feel bold? Bold, which is big optimistic. Um, what's the L stand for?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh yeah. Love. Love. You've just don't forget, you've just worked on these. Love, yeah. Yeah, that's it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's it's right there. I need a tattoo, Debs. Big optimistic love drive.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_02:

So for me, how do you want to feel bold as a result of that? I want to feel bold, and my mission for that is find the fun this year. Okay. Find the fun. That is what I want to be focusing on because there's been some heavy lifting in some of my um social network recently. So I think uh, yeah, find find the fun.

SPEAKER_00:

So you want to feel bold.

SPEAKER_02:

Bold. Bold bold. Not bold, bold, bold in my Essex accent. I love that.

SPEAKER_00:

So I think that's really important is to connect with the feeling, um, because we don't very often do we connect with how do we want to feel? You know, uh you know, because we just don't do it. So it's thinking about is it how I want to feel more calmer, as you said, more playful, the fun, you know, what is it that you want to bring into it? So, and then it's that making sure you're talking to yourself and giving yourself that permission, um, soft permission-giving uh word and language around it. You know, we love words and language. Um, so like I am choosing to um do things. Um it's my choice to do that. So I'm choosing progress over perfection. Because the person, one of the people I was dealing with, you know, dealing with before Christmas was about being perfect and always having everything in place, and it had to be that. So we we were able to work on that and work it around to that piece. So I'm choosing progress over perfection. Um, and that made a huge shift in their mindset as to then what they were gonna do, how they were gonna do it, how they wanted to feel. So it linked back in. Um, I'm gonna practice, you know, I am open to, I am practicing kindness, or I am practicing nice self-talk or whatever and caring for myself. Um, and I give myself permission to, that's a really empowering one, actually, um, because it comes back to that choice. You know, I'm giving myself permission to explore this, understand that with that curiosity rather than control, without putting the, you know, fixating on I must do this. So it takes away that rigid demand that we sometimes put on ourselves, really, which is really important, I think. Um, and then for me is then how do you create those daily intentions, then the actions um that you're gonna be doing. So, how do you anchor your intentions to daily kindness? Um, so they really are little micro things that you're doing um every single day. They're not ground gestures, they're nothing like that, but just stopping and reflecting and sort of asking yourself some questions, really. You know, how am I gonna speak to myself when I I have a bit of a wobble? You know, thinking about what if I'm gonna be kind to myself, because they should be, what's my, I suppose, my minimum viable care on a hard day? Um, you know, is it I'm just gonna go out for a walk? You know, that is the that's all I can do, but I'm gonna do make sure that I'm absolutely thinking about that. So, um, and then when it is a hard day, again we're being more kinder to ourselves. So it's that tiny little acts that make a difference, you know, to everyday living. And therefore, we are therefore being and you feel alive um more because you're in that now with it, you know, you're not going, oh, I'm never gonna finish it. Um, it's never gonna happen. And it goes back to your people you were saying that blame everybody else for their bad luck or lack of progress or or or because actually they forget to start with themselves.

SPEAKER_02:

But I think this is where it links nicely to sort of individual differences because um uh yeah yeah, my sort of take on the whole self-care and minimal viable care, I love that expression. I think that's you know, what's your MVC proposition? What's your minimal viable care proposition? I think that's that's I think that's brilliant. Um, to enable you to do the big stuff that you want to achieve.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's not just protecting yourself to then make your life smaller and stay indoors and not do anything, it's to ensure that whatever your aspirations are, whatever your ambitions, whatever your stage and phase of life is um enabling you to be able to have the time for or the energy or the health for, or the wealth for, that you you've then got the capacity to be able to enjoy it. And I think that so it doesn't become overwhelming and more things that you haven't achieved, which I guess is the the the idea, you know, that I'd always I know you've been always so keen on is rather than resolutions, which can then be one more thing, you know, thing that you haven't achieved into intention. Yeah. Because another thing that I a phrase, you know, you have these old phrases that you find yourself trotting out, and um this was one that I nabbed from a woman called Dee, who was a sales director at an organization I was at for an Of years, and she just said this as an offhand comment at a conference with like you know thousand plus salespeople in it, and I thought it was magic. She said the phrase, the goals are in stone, the timings are in sand. Nice. So if you know I must retrain to be a midwife, but if it doesn't happen this year because I can't get the funding, it doesn't mean I've failed. Yeah. You know, I if if there's a burning desire in that, you know, I must um play more of the piano, just thinking of the thing that I beat myself up with.

SPEAKER_00:

So you're gonna say that because you're trying to fix it.

SPEAKER_02:

Because you're trying to fix it. Yeah, so the goals are in stone, like doing something that is really important to you. It's gonna happen. Yeah. And you and what can you do to sort of lead yourself towards it? But it doesn't necessarily the timings might be way out of your control.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

So I thought that was a nice little phrase goals are in stone, timings are in sand. So that's where an intention just heads you towards directing your energy in the general direction that feels good for you.

SPEAKER_00:

That's where you're going. Yeah, and I think that's and that's being again that kind to self to say, Well, I yeah, I'm not gonna complete this in you know two years. It may take me three, doesn't mean I'm not going to, it just means I'm being kinder, um, you know, and I'm what I'm moving towards that goal or whatever it is that you want to call it. Um, and I think you know, that's where the flex comes into it when we have intentions. You know, they're they are not promises. This is the other thing. Intentions are not promises, they're companions, as I like to call them. Um they're companions, they walk up with you. Yeah, they are not promises because then you're putting pressure back on. You know, all the I must lose 24 stone, you know, the pressure that you're putting on yourself in that moment is fast. So it's a it's a companion, you know. So, how do I bring it along with me? Um, so I'm not beating myself up being judgmental, all of those lovely things that we say, because then we can revisit them if something comes along, or we can rewrite them, like you said earlier, or we can park them um and come back to them in a more what I'd like to call more gentle approach. Um, and that was what we were doing this morning with someone. We we were working on what that would look like for them, and and they've set themselves an intent to retire at a certain age, and they've got five years to go before they get there. So whilst they would never normally plan that far ahead, um, they are it's there, gently there, but it's coming back to the now as to so what's going to enable that to start to come to fruition at some point, um, you know, so they can revisit them and they walk with them as say their companions, because the thought's already there around it. Um and yeah, which I think is really important to do, Law. I love that expression about companion.

SPEAKER_02:

And although I'm not quite at that stage yet, you know, we all know no matter what of your current age, at some point there's going to be a time where you're gonna end working, whether you've chosen that deadline or whether it's been, you know, sort of thought upon you, imposed on you. Yeah. Um and I think what's what's so you know, that's relevant for all of us listening in if you are, you know, work uh uh in a in a workplace. Um even if there's some horrendous financial disruption that happens just at the point where you're gonna retire, at least you feel more hopeful about the concept of retirement in the five years leading up to it. And I think that's probably the ultimate benefit of intention setting is whether some great big disaster is gonna happen or not, at least you're gonna feel hopeful and optimistic in the run-up to that rather than dread and anxiety being your daily companions. So I I think that's a really lovely way to describe it. I've never heard you that been, you know, or you use that phrase before. So they're not promises to beat yourself up with, they're companions, companions to support you along the journey.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, and as you know, that came out of the conversation I had this morning. Um, because you know, I've that was I'd not really put the two and two together, but as you, you know, as you're exploring with somebody and you're chatting away, and then I normally at the end of the session will stop and and make do my own reflections about it. And then yeah, it was it, I just thought, oh yeah, that's what it is, really. So that's you know, I've never used it before, but it came out of my reflections from the coaching session as to what my lessons, what am I taking from that as well, and what have I learned? And and I just thought, yeah, that's a kinder way of doing it, really. So again, it takes away that judgment of self, which is our biggest barrier to anything that we're doing. Um, yeah, and I think that's what I think we need to think about that really. How do we do that well?

SPEAKER_02:

So, Debs, how about I take your companion approach to this? And we'll look at it from like a commercial point of view, if you're looking to create a sense of intention with someone else, um, for example, a team or a set of colleagues. So let's see if that works. Because I think that companion piece is fantastic. Cool. The organisation you work for might have imposed some big KPIs, some big measures, some you know, shareholder commitments that need that are on everyone's to-do list. Yeah. But in terms of how we're going to achieve that, if we have a look at a companion piece for creating a fresh start, no matter what age, no matter what stage, no matter what time of year. So guess what, Debs?

SPEAKER_00:

Go on, what have you got? Something in three.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, actually, hold on, hold on. There are five bits to this. Oh my god, I love it. Guess what? There are five letters to the word fresh.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, I love that. So a bit like our other ones, here we go.

SPEAKER_02:

Here we go. Do it the clean or dirty version. So the first word beginning with F.

SPEAKER_00:

Clean version, please.

SPEAKER_02:

Clean version, please. Yeah, family show. Um, so picture the scene. You're there, your team or people around you have been through some right rough times recently, but you know that potentially we don't want to get stuck in victim mode, we want to get into agency mode. Yeah. There might be lots of things against you, but if we channel Rotter's internal locus of control, we get to decide our internal mindset and what that means in terms of what we focus on. So, step number one of the fresh start. F stands for focus. Oh, nice. Wouldn't it be an interesting way to structure a one-to-one or a one-to-six and a team conversation around, right, team, what do we want more of and less of in the quarter ahead? What do we want to work towards? What do we want to work away from? Yeah. And that taps into the classic Freud pleasure pain idea of humans are driven to move in two directions towards the stuff they want more of, away from the stuff they want less of.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So let's say the organization has set this huge big goal that we need to achieve. What's our focus as a team in terms of how we go about that? So that's your F.

SPEAKER_00:

I like the F. I think that also makes it more achievable because you've you're breaking that down and it is more within your your, I suppose, what's the word? What's the word I'm looking for? It's more within your responsibility, more within your will base, will within something. I don't know what the word is, but you'll come up with it, Law. But it's something you can absolutely see you can do, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02:

Death. Is that because it is R for realistic?

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, it could well be. See, I knew you'd come up with the word law. So, what do we mean by realistic?

SPEAKER_02:

So, what is our capacity team to be able to do this? How can we remove drag and increase opportunity? What can we automate? What can we defer to machines? Yeah, how do we not do an own goal where all the nice, interesting stuff gets done by Chat GPT and the humans are sitting there just giving it instructions? Yeah. Like, how can we make sure that it's realistic within our capacity? So you've got F for focus, or do we want more or less of? Realistically, how can we increase our capacity? You might have half the team that you had three years ago, but you've got to produce double the workload. Let's keep our internal locus of control. How do we realistically maintain our capacity? And that then links to the E for empowered. Nice. So what do we want? What do I want from the quarter ahead? What can we do? What can't we do? Yeah. And rather than it being like a burden of all these kind of things that we have to do, let's shift it. What do we get to do?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So it just puts you into that gratitude mindset of, oh, we've got a thousand customers that we've got to, you know, we have to um make sure we engage with. We've got a thousand customers that we get to engage with.

SPEAKER_00:

That we get to, exactly.

SPEAKER_02:

The shift suddenly turns from, oh, this arduous chore of churning our emails into ah, actually an opportunity to be creative and to be able to do it in a slightly different way. So the E stands for empowered. I love that. Rather than a have to do this, we get to do this.

SPEAKER_00:

And I I can just add in one of the things that we can do to help just remind ourselves if we are staying on track to where we're at, is to do that. Um, and a team can do this as part of their weekly or daily check-ins, actually, um, where you just keep them alive, those intentions you're setting to the focus uh without the pressure on it. Is so so asking the team to look at, you know, so what mattered this week? You know, just asking that what mattered this week, you know, like you said, where did I maybe um do something really well? Where did I honour myself? Where did I show up well? Um, and the more or less of, as you said, what do I need to do more of or less of? They're a great way to sort of remind you of, yeah, we are actually moving forward, you know, we're not just stuck, you know. And I think that they're good questions for a team leader or anybody to ask of their team, just to just to check in with them.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, I love that. Um, so the S strategic. Oh, okay. So as a result of what I'm doing now, if this was a chess game and these were just a few little porn moves that I'm doing, yeah, what does that mean in terms of leading me towards some things that I know I'm gonna kind of enjoy when I get there? Yeah. So this is channeling the algorithm, if this then that. So if our focus is now a team, what does that head us towards in the next kind of three to six months? Yeah. So it's a sense of we're not just going round and round in circles, we're kind of spiralling and moving forward. So it's that sense of progression. And then the H very simply happy. Oh. What's going to keep us happy? Yeah. Does it lift our spirits? Is it something that makes us smile? Yes. If every Monday morning check-in just feels really depressing and arduous, then that human spirit is the reason why you have humans now involved in any kind of sort of supply chain or customer interaction or service provision. So, how do we ensure that our spirits are lifted and that our focus is not only realistic, it's not only empowered on focusing on the stuff that we can do. It feels like what we're doing now is gonna serve us strategically long term, yeah, and ultimately what's gonna help us keep happy. Nice. Linking back to our check-in conversation, some people love a plan. Yeah. I love the fact that I know what I'm doing on the second Wednesday in December.

SPEAKER_00:

I haven't got a clue, Law.

SPEAKER_02:

More than 11 months away.

SPEAKER_00:

I was gonna say that just freaks me out to go, I don't even know what day that is, let alone what am I doing on that day.

SPEAKER_02:

So let's say you and I were colleagues. Yeah. I have to recognise that I just might need to pretend that I'm talking about March. Yes. As to not as to not depress you too much. Whereas for me, then that that's that makes me feel a bit safe because I sort of know it has this it infers I'm gonna be around and I'm gonna be doing stuff. But that works for me.

SPEAKER_00:

It works for you, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I can absolutely see for other people. I've learned this with my husband, you know, the moment I start talking about summer holidays in in December, it starts twitching. Twitching. Whereas there are other people that really like the idea of focusing on what that is.

SPEAKER_00:

So that's what I think that's the beauty of it, isn't it? The intention is there's no right or wrong to it. It's what's right for you, and understanding that from your team, as you said, you know, the fact you're looking in December and I haven't even looked past February, it's like that's there's no right or wrong in that. It's just also a way of going, oh yeah, I wonder what that could look like. It's the curiosity then that can check in and take over for me, then that says, Yeah, I'm curious to therefore know what might be out there in December. I'll look at that next week.

SPEAKER_02:

So and you know what's just made me laugh as a final bit. I remember I was doing some work. It actually was on when I was um still employed, so it must have been god, at least eight years. A long time ago now. Yeah, a long time ago, during the war. During the war. And um, I think we'd got pitched this time management video that this um company was trying to sell us to sort of play on our sales inductions, whatever. And so it must have been about, I don't know, it was around about the time where people stopped having their own secretaries and admin teams.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02:

And I remember there was this kind of um, you know, managing your time uh video, and it was it was saying, ask your secretary to field all your telephone calls. And even back in 2008, it felt so old school and so old fashioned. It is, and I think that's one of the other things about the realities of modern day life. We we are all we've become so flexible in our skills, yes, we've got so much amazing technology that enables us to do things that typically you might have had to employ someone to then do. It's how how to remain that focus and that intention.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

So there's a sense of of progression and a direction that feels right for you.

SPEAKER_00:

So um I love that.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, also I love that funny memory.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, God, yeah, that is a memory, actually, though. Yeah, those were the days, yeah, when those were my people's in your secretary. Yeah, that's what I started doing, fielding calls for people. Yeah, you had more control and power, I tell you, and kept people straight and narrow for sure.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. And it's gonna be interesting to see over the second half of this decade where the world of work goes to. Yeah, I think is there gonna be more kind of um structure and discipline and kind of uh roles that people stay in, or is it gonna become even more sort of flexible? But one thing we know is as the work evolves around us, us humans are still made of the same physiology, yes, the same cognitive and psychological makeup. Yeah, so the external environment might have rapidly changed in the world of work, but internally, yeah, it's uh you know, there's there's still a uh a lovely human in the middle of it all trying to hold it all together.

SPEAKER_00:

Exactly, and to keep in touch with that human is really important. Choosing how to be.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely, which is why we thought it'd be a really good focus for this first month of this new year, yeah. Focusing on fresh start. Yeah so where this one has been about get intention setting, get vision setting with uh get vision ready with us. Um, we're gonna be taking three alternative approaches to creating that sense of fresh start.

SPEAKER_04:

Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Ideal as a bit of self-coaching, a bit of CPD, and also we'll tweak it so that each one of the episodes you've got some team-friendly stuff as well.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, definitely. I love that. And I think that sort of is my call to action on this one, Law, is um I suppose is reminding yourself actually. So consciously remind yourself you're not a project to be fixed, first of all. That's really important. You are a human, so you need to be cared for. So care for yourself is my other one of my call to action. How are you going to care for yourself through this? And I think the compassion, because for me, intentions work better when they are um, they begin with compassion and taking away those fixing words like I must, I should, I have to. Um, so that you're coming at it from I'm more curious, I want to move towards that type of language as well, can make a huge difference. So watch your language.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh, love it, Debs. Well, um, I for one, as prep of this, have realized that a conference overview that I'd been creating um is not as good as it could be compared to some of the conversation we've just had. So um I'm gonna be going back and refreshing my conference proposal. Love it. And so my call to action would be if you've got if you if you've got around you um team or colleagues that just feel like they need a little bit of a kickstart, not to um not to force people, but to be a companion from an energy point of view, yeah, then whether it is the internal, external locus control, whether it is um any day we can start creating a new beginning, whether it is a fresh approach, whether it is the step-by-step that uh Debs, you took us through with coaching, get someone else to listen to this so together the two of you can then um bring that kind of fresh start approach.

SPEAKER_00:

And I like that, fresh, I like that very much. I'm gonna take that with me and I'm gonna work on that actually, Law, over the next week.

SPEAKER_02:

So marvellous, Debs. Yes. I'm gonna take your words as a companion piece as uh uh we uh I'm gonna go along my my day to day over the next week, and I can't wait to see you at the next one.

SPEAKER_00:

Yes, me too. Looking forward to it, Law. Welcome back.

SPEAKER_02:

Yay!

SPEAKER_00:

Take care, lovely. Love you. Bye.

SPEAKER_02:

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