288. Leading a Team Confidently Through Stressful Moments

In this fourth in our 5-part focus on healthy coping mechanisms, we explore how to cope in the moment when things get stressful. We explore the impact of our physiological response and instinct in these moments: You can’t “time manage” your way out of a crisis shift. When the pressure hits and the moving parts won’t stop moving, the difference often comes down to one thing: whether people feel safe enough to speak up and lean on each other. We talk with railway operations leader Chris Parsons about what it takes to keep a service moving when pressure spikes, and how healthy coping mechanisms become a team habit instead of a private struggle. 

Chris shares the leadership behaviours that build psychological safety long before things go wrong: asking “how can I help,” being honest when you don’t know an answer, and having the personal conversations early so trust is already there when stress rises. We also get into practical, in-the-moment support that actually works on shift, from taking part of a colleague’s workload to something as basic as making sure they get a drink or lunch when stepping away could mean losing control of an incident.

We come back to trust, early conversations, and practical support that protects people first and performance second. 

Transcript

Healthy Coping Mechanisms Mini-Series

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Debs! Hello, aren't you alright? Yeah, I'm doing well. It's full on couple of weeks, eh?

SPEAKER_03 0:10

It has been a full on couple of weeks actually, and it's like, how are we here again? It's like, wow, it's just like groundhog day, and it's like blinking you miss it.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

I know. Which is why I'm absolutely loving this mini-series focus we've got, Dave, on healthy coping mechanisms.

SPEAKER_03 0:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Um, last month I think was stress awareness month, but um certainly one of yeah, last week, this a couple of weeks ago it was. Yeah, so recently, yeah. So it's um it's one of those topics that's becoming more and more important to be able to thrive in in everyday world of work. And I think what's also always very humbling is when you get an insight into different people's jobs. Yeah. And so where we've been looking at healthy coping mechanisms, we've been particularly focusing on those heroes that work behind the scenes in operation centres, whether that's using hobbies to help discharge some of that stress that can build. And I was super excited to listen to um the guest that we've got with you, Debs, who is the incredible Chris Parsons, who brings his leadership lens perspective on how do you lead a team through stressful moments.

SPEAKER_03 1:14

Yeah, it was it was just amazing. Um, and I think looking at listening to Chris was about how do we look after each other when we're under that um in that environment and everything else. So, shall we take a listen and see what he had to say?

Meet Chris And His Role

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Welcome back, everybody. Um, as you know, this month we have been talking to real life people who have to deal with loads of stuff in their day jobs, and they never know what's coming their way. And we've been chatting around how they can cope healthily and what healthy coping mechanisms they have in relation to manage their well-being, their mental health, their mind health, their physical health, and everything else in the world that they work in, operate in, which is massive. And I think outsiders looking in, we have no idea what goes on and behind the scenes. So we have been really honoured to have our guests actually from the world of the railway to join us to share their experiences and to you know give us some of their wisdom and words of experience that we can sort of take forward in our own roles and team. So, as you can see, I'm joined by the wonderful Chris Parsons. Thank you for joining us, Chris. So tell us a bit about you. What do you do? What's your job? Give us a bit of an insight into you.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Um, thanks. Um, as Deb says, our name's Chris Parsons. I, my official job title is Duty Network Operations Manager for Gobier Thameslink Railway, based at Three Bridges Railway Operating Centre. Um, essentially, my job is to run the day-to-day running of the operational floor on the route for Gobia Thameslink Railway. Now, we have got a massive network we run from Peterborough all the way down to Southampton, from Kings Lynn all the way down to Raynham and Kent and everything in between, all the way through London. Wow. So we've got lots of disparate moving parts. Um, I manage a team of seven train service managers who each look after a separate geographical area um within the country. Um, and I suppose my job essentially is to try and make sure that the train service keeps running no matter what gets thrown at us on a daily basis, and and we have lots thrown at us on a daily basis. And as Dev said, we we we don't know what's coming from from day to day.

SPEAKER_03 3:49

Yeah. God, and and how long have you been doing it for? How long have you been on the railway?

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Um, I've been on the railway since I was 24, so this being my 20th year. Um I've done lots of different roles. I started off checking tickets on a barrier line down in Kingston, and I've moved through there up through the stations as well, station management, and then into operations. Yes. Um, and I've been in operations for the last 14, 15 years.

SPEAKER_04 4:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:17

And I've worked for three separate companies. I worked for South Western Railway, I've worked for Crossrail for a little bit, and then for the last eight or nine years, um, I've been with Govia Templink.

SPEAKER_03 4:28

Okay, cool. Wow. And I suppose over that time, you, as you said, you've seen so many uh incidents and things be happening, and it's like you've still got to get the trains running because the public expect that, right? So um when we started this conversation around how do we cope, what healthy mechanisms have we got that help us cope? Um, what was important to you about this topic? Because you were very um pivotal in shaping some of the material with Laura and helping us to make sure that it was relevant to the audience, because you know, say we're not the experts, so we wanted to, you know, make it um part of something that felt real for them. So, what is it about this topic of healthy coping mechanisms that's really important to you?

Building Trust As A Manager

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I think for me it's a it's a recognition, I know it's quite a cliche thing to say, but we we live in a very, very stressful world. We do. And we we have lots of um we have lots of things that impact upon us, both inside of work and outside of work. Um for for me, it's a case of and when I manage my team, this is what I say, because how can how can I help?

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Right, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:38

Yes, I'm your manager inside of work, but if you've got an issue going on outside of work as well that you need my assistance with, don't feel like you can't talk to me about this.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

Um, my my outlook on this personally is if you are in a good place outside of work, you know, family, social, whatever, outside of it, when you come into work, you're going to be more effective for me personally. Yeah. Um, so how can I help that? Um so try and make their lives, my staff members' lives, less stressful if I possibly can.

SPEAKER_03 6:12

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Um and so when they come into work, as I say, they're they're not bringing that or they're bringing less baggage with them so they can focus on doing the job, which then, as you rightly say, hopefully means they can do their jobs more effectively and deliver a train service for our customers.

SPEAKER_03 6:29

Absolutely. And I think I love that, you know, how can I help? How can I support? And I think you're right, is if if we have got, you know, because we never know someone's backstory, right? Really, unless you got to know them and they bring it in and share with you. So when you think about um people coming to you and sharing some of that, how have you enabled your teams to feel safe enough to be able to go, Chris? This is what's going on for me outside of work. Um, I and I need your support or help. How have you created that safe space, I suppose, for people to do that with you?

SPEAKER_00 7:01

I think it's there's a there's almost like a twofold approach to it. You've got the mechanisms with which the company puts in place to assist. So there are HR procedures and policies that are in place that you that you go through to assist your staff members. Obviously, we've got occupational health teams and we have um uh we've been able to refer people to specialist counsellors, for example. Okay. Um, which have been funded through the company in order to help people with particular issues going on. Um secondly to that is is is being there for your team, for let letting them know that yes, I am your manager, but no, I actually want to help you on a personal level as well. It doesn't it doesn't cost anything to to try and help somebody, does it? True.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

No, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_00 7:48

It's trying to give them that reassurance that if you've got something going on at work, tell me about it. Yes. You know, I might not be able to help you, but I might be able to point in the right direction with somebody who might be able to help you.

SPEAKER_04 7:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:58

Um for me, it's a case of I when I have new members of staff come and talk to me, I do my introductory talk to them, I suppose is how you put it, is a case of saying to them that look, if you have issues, we'll work through it. Um if you've got a question, tell me. Ask me. I might know the answer. If I don't know the answer, I will tell you that I don't know the answer, and then I'll go away and find someone who does know the answer or point you in the right direction for that. So it all comes back to trying to make your staff or your team or your friends just feel more comfortable in talking to you for me personally.

SPEAKER_03 8:32

Because it's um it's really hard sometimes, isn't it, for people? Um, and I know when we were doing when we were doing the workshops, we could see um there was a little bit of like, what are we here for? Um and you witnessed some of that stuff. But in your when you were sort of seeing how it unfolded, actually what you know Laura and I took away from that was actually once they were warmed up, they felt safe. And I think it was really good to have yourself in the room with a group, some of those groups as well, because it felt like you were a trusted source in there and you weren't gonna like like throw them to the walls, throw them to me and Laura. But what did you observe around the groups that we had? Um,

Workshops That Respect Real People

SPEAKER_03 9:11

what was the things that surprised you into the way they did actually open up?

SPEAKER_00 9:16

It did surprise me slightly um because when the when you came to us with the first draft of the healthy care mechanisms, and we all sat in our room and you talked through the presentation. I the railway staff can be very cynical.

SPEAKER_04 9:32

They can.

SPEAKER_00 9:33

And and have a and have a dark sense of humour. And unfortunately, it's it's the nature of the job we're in. Absolutely. Um sometimes you've got to just almost a it's a disassociating technique. You you have that dark black humour to take you away from what you're dealing with.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Yeah, and most emergency services have that in some form, don't they? Because of the nature of the incident you're dealing with, don't they?

SPEAKER_00 9:55

To an extent, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

To an extent, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

And so I was I was ready for a fair degree of cynicism and um as you quite rightly say, like, oh what are we doing here? Yeah. Something else which the company's trying to make us do here.

SPEAKER_02 10:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:11

Um, I think I think the key thing was that it was pitched in a in a level and a way that was said that we're not expecting you to do this. This is for your information.

SPEAKER_04 10:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

You know, if you choose to do this stuff, wonderful, great. If you choose to take 5% of it away, equally, wonderful, great. If you choose to do nothing with this, okay, that's up to you. It's your decision. You know, it's there if you want it, it's still going to be there. It's now part of, you know, it's it's in the rock, it's in the railway operating centre.

SPEAKER_04 10:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

So it was as much or as little as they wanted to get involved. And from what I'm in, from the group that I was in, yeah, um, with my particular team, it was lovely to see them getting involved and talking about it, especially with a couple of the guys which I have in there. And then from what I heard from the other teams who have more um truculent characters, where putting it, um they all got involved as well, which again great. I didn't hear when people came and talked about it colloquially back in the rock afterwards, it was always spoken about on like with um without disparity.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Right, yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

It was spoken about like, okay, we were made to do this, it was interesting.

SPEAKER_03 11:27

Yeah, it was alright.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Yeah, not like, oh my god, what on earth was all this about?

SPEAKER_03 11:31

Yes, yeah, that was good. And I love their practical ideas, because that was the whole point behind it, wasn't it, Chris? That was something that you and your team and the people involved in designing it with us was about practicalities of it, because you work in a really practical way and you just go into action when you need it. Um, so we were really keen to make sure that actually the tips that people shared with us came from them, not us, as you said, you know, because they're doing it every day. And I think when you're thinking about teams in general, what do you think the difference is when you are enabling people to share their own experiences to come up and give ideas as to how they cope that somebody else might do? How how how have you seen that? What's this what's the important bit of that when it comes to teamworking and working really, really well?

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Oh,

Practical Help During High Pressure

SPEAKER_00 12:23

I mean, I think you said it there in the title. It's like it's it's a teamworking variety of it. I mean, as I've said at the at the start of this in the role, we have you know seven individual train service managers, each dealing with their own individual area, but they're part of a wider team.

SPEAKER_04 12:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Um now because of this and because of the nature of the incidents we deal with and the nature of the railway, you know, train service managers numbers one through four might be so busy, might be just run off their feet, can't get a chance to do anything. Train service managers five through seven might be less so because the incident hasn't impacted their particular area. Because what can the people who aren't as busy do to assist? What can the managerial staff on duty do to assist? Now, it could be something practical like okay, you're dealing with this particular incident, Dan and this area, and it's high pressure, it's intricate, it's detailed, you've got to focus massively on it. Let me take this part of your error off you. I'll deal with this service group, I'll do with this incident that's going on over here, so you don't have to worry about it and you can focus on that.

SPEAKER_04 13:30

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:32

It's taking that workload, it's it's like we discussed um during that. It's like it sometimes can be as simple as do you want a drink? Do you want a cup of tea? Do you want me to go and get you lunch for you? Yeah, okay. Go and get a chance to when when we're in a massive incident, you do not get a chance to stand up from your desk. You stand up from your desk and go and make a cup of tea for even two minutes, you've lost control of that incident. Right. Because you know where all the moving you know where all the moving pieces are.

SPEAKER_03 13:59

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

And if you take your eye off it, those pieces will have moved, you know, 40 miles down the track and you've lost it when you're done. Right, got you.

SPEAKER_04 14:06

Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:08

Um and finally, after all of it, it's a it is a case of from a managerial point of view, it's it's letting your staff know for me that they've done a really good job in really difficult circumstances. It's showing that appreciation and respect for the job that they've done.

SPEAKER_04 14:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

And I I used to be a train service manager in a in a previous life. Okay. In a previous role. I've done their job. I cannot do their job as well as they do their job.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 14:34

I was I was okay as a train service manager. I wasn't brilliant, I was solid. The things the thing the things that these the things that the train service managers do in our in our business is nothing short of spectacular to keep the train service running. And they don't get the credit which they deserve and have earned, in my opinion, in some of the cases. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. It's dependent on GT sometimes.

SPEAKER_04 14:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:56

So it's letting people know they've done an amazing job in really difficult circumstances. And then just checking in, are you okay? Yes. You good? Yeah. If you have big incidents kick off, it's then doing the follow-up, the follow-up phone call, the follow-up conversation the next day just to reassure and reinforce that that you care, that you want to make sure that your staff are okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:23

Yeah, it's so important, isn't it? And I mean, you know, we had no idea until we came and had a look around the rock, which was really we were very fortunate to have a look so we could see it happening. And it was very calm, actually. And yeah, it really felt it. Like there wasn't like, oh, panic. Um, because I suppose that panicking does not help a situation, does it? So it's not all. How do you um I suppose when you're looking in on it or working with the you know the people involved in it, how do you spot the signs if somebody is it's maybe

Spotting Stress And Following Up

SPEAKER_03 15:56

getting too much? What how do you deal with that? Because sometimes it just might be long shift and another instant, another instant, another instance they've had to deal with. And this one is like, whoa, how do you how do you support people when it maybe not saying it does, but if it's like feels like it's like near the top, their jug is flowing nearly, as we had on the course.

SPEAKER_00 16:18

Um I think first and foremost that comes down to knowing your staff members, knowing your personalities, knowing who they are.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Um, so each one of there are seven of me in the rock, I suppose, with on a so there are six, um, there are six shifts and one floating spare.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

Got you.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Um and the six shifts each have a designated team who we work closely with. We work with them day in, day out. So you know the individuals, you know the you know their traits, their personality types, their foibles. Um and so if you are if you know that, then you can spot where the where the cracks might start occurring.

SPEAKER_04 16:56

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

As you quite rightly say though, the they they might have just a build-up. It does tend to go in a circular fashion that you might have like weeks of nothing happening and everything's good and everything runs to you, and then you have two weeks of just chaos, just everything happening. Um and at that point it is ultimately so important to to recognise when when the signs are there, and and that, as I say, comes from knowing your team.

Learning From A Tragic Loss

SPEAKER_00 17:27

Now, this whole piece of work started because of because of an incident that we had, because of the incident down at Three Bridges, where very unfortunately a staff member felt he had he had to take his own life.

SPEAKER_04 17:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

Um, and staff in our building got heavily affected by that because we knew the staff member. Normally we can disassociate ourselves, but of course. But because of what it was, um, and when that news started to filter through, you you became aware of it, and then it's okay, right, this is different.

SPEAKER_04 17:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:58

How do we focus on this? How do we put in place the things that um that can support our staff, they can help our staff through this? What extra support do we need in this building to help? Um and we got 95% of it right, it was just that 5%. We missed one person. Um we we missed a person who had to go and deal with it, and then there were there were other repercussions from that. Of course. And now we've we've closed that loop, we've made sure that happens, and and we now uh when we have similar incidents, not as severe, thank God, since that we can go and deal with it in a lot better state. Yeah. Yeah. So we've we have stuff that we can put in place, and we've got you know, railway chaplains who come in, we have access to Samaritans, we've got access to councillors.

SPEAKER_03 18:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Um, we've got access to uh traumatic incident managers who are trades railway staff who come in and deal with it, they're called trim councillors.

SPEAKER_03 18:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

And we have them come in as well.

SPEAKER_03 18:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

So we have the formal ways of doing it, but again, it it it comes back to do you know your staff members?

SPEAKER_03 19:03

Yeah, can you support where they're coming out? Can you yeah, absolutely, and I think that's key, isn't it? And then I know that's key in any team, but any uh I think it's even more important, isn't it, if you're um, as you say, you it's not like a routine job that you do, and you know, because you never know what you know what calls you're gonna get coming through. And I think that as a as a manager of that, it's like how do you then because you must you know you get impacted as well, I'm sure, but while you're looking after your team and making sure they're okay and checking back in with them and you know, um how do you look after you in that?

SPEAKER_00 19:38

Um I suppose I oh I d I don't want to sound like boastful or anything.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

No, just say it because it's really important.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

I just get on with it. I I don't feel I very rarely have I felt impacted severely by something that's happened on the railway. I've been very lucky in 20 years of being in this role or being on the railway that I've never seen a massively traumatic incident.

SPEAKER_03 20:08

Right, yes.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Um I don't particularly want to either. No, fingers crossed.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

Fingers crossed, that's what we aim for. Nothing like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

The the incident of three bridges affected me slightly due to the fact that the the person involved was about my age and he had a star. Okay, right.

SPEAKER_03 20:24

Right.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Um and it's a case of when you're when you're dealing with the incident, you don't get time to think about it. No, of course. It was only when I got home that night that I sort of sat down for five minutes and just it popped into my head, and that was like now I'm very lucky in respect of my wife knows and understands what I do for my job to a to a certain level. Yeah, sure. And our relationship is such that you know we talk about what's going on in our jobs, and she's brilliant. And I told her about this one, and she made sure I was okay over the next two or three days moving forward. It's like nothing massive, no grand gestures, just the occasional, you alright?

SPEAKER_03 21:07

Just checking in.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

Yeah, exactly. Just constantly checking in with me, and and I was fine with it. Um I made my I made my peace with it quite quite quickly, I suppose. Yeah, um, and then it was right, I'm back in the next day. You know, staff members. I they had to deal with it actually. I didn't get a chance to do formal chain of care with anybody on the shift just because we were so busy. Right. Yeah, sure. The next day, go around, make sure everyone's okay, make offer everything, all the support mechanisms that we have at the time, offer them to everybody, make sure they know they're there, and then just the constant reassurance, constant checking in and going through there, making sure that the managers above me knew where we thought that our um high risk people might be.

SPEAKER_03 21:51

Yes, yes, yeah. And that comes down to again how well you know your staff. And we talked about the power of listening to what people are saying to you. or not saying and it might be through gestures or um and I know we discussed that on you know on the on the workshop around some of the signs you can see that are are not in inverted commas normal for that individual um so having that awareness of others knowing your team listening communicating checking in um you know forget your day job to to some extent um even though you can't but for a moment it's all about the people isn't it and um and making sure that they're okay yeah so if you were to give some advice to other team leaders managers um who have teams that maybe don't have the extremities of sometimes what you have to face in your roles but what would you say to them about creating uh an environment that is trusting it is tell me you know if there's something not quite right for you how do you create that how what advice would you give them I think for me it's it's it's having the conversations early right yes don't don't wait for something to happen or wait for the symptoms to build up because then it's too late.

Mental Health Culture And Leader Advice

SPEAKER_00 23:06

Yeah you've already lost you've already lost that particular battle for me it's it's making sure that the team you're working with knows that you care knows that you are interested in in what's going on in their in their lives both personal and professional um you never know what's going on in people's lives as we say you never know what's going on behind closed doors um so if there is a reaction just to whatever has happened in in your workplace which is out of place don't judge them on that reaction think about what's going on behind the scenes so to speak um and I mean at the end of the day it doesn't cost you anything to take an interest in somebody true yeah very true to ask the question how are you getting on you know what's going on at home how are the kids how's you know what's going on with that yeah so have those conversations early and you know build up that personal relationship with your team because for me that makes the managerial side of it a lot easier. I I had a member of staff once whom we had a very simple deal with this you know we could have a laugh and a joke and all the rest of it. Yeah we need to have a serious conversation all one of us had to say to other no no I need to have a serious conversation now those exact words and at that the the the switch was flicked.

SPEAKER_03 24:25

Yeah okay so it's like signposting yeah yeah it went from personal chummy to right what's going on right got you yeah what's the deal what's happening where I like that and and it was as simple as that yeah and I and I think you're right but it takes somebody who has care compassion genuinely want to help people there are so many other characteristics that may enable people to do that isn't it but not getting so sucked into it because you can't fix it but you can offer as you said right at the beginning I can I may not be able to fix it um but I can definitely signpost people to the experts or where it's needed and to hear the support that you have within you know your organization is incredible. So um and I think about you know you obviously do a lot of work around mental health awareness and you know what's going on generally in your work. How important is it for organisations in your opinion to have that ability and to you really focus in on that mental health aspect because I know we saw a lot of people and there's always that general sweeping statement that and I'm you know not mean to be sexist or anything but there are some mainly men that won't talk about how they feel um and it's like but how do you ensure that that is okay to do that and we saw a lot of that in the end on the workshops I must admit um but then you know when you think about the wider mental health awareness picture um how how can we sort of do more I suppose and enable those spaces to have be happening I think that I mean certainly over my 20 years in the industry it's changed massively and the the speed of change in terms of the recognition of um mental health and healthy mental health um in the last five years, the last five to ten years has increased so dramatically in terms of both awareness of it and then things have been put in place to try and help people with this.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Yeah yeah um you're always going to have people who don't want to talk who of course want to be be themselves be be in Ireland if if you want to if you want to put it like that. Yeah yeah um but it's it's something that I think everyone recognises now is is key. I mean we still lose people to you know stress um and you know potentially overwork um through our through our industry fairly regularly throughout throughout it and then it's it's how do you support how do you cope how do you help them get to a place where they feel comfortable coming back and I mean I suppose I've been lucky in inverted comasively inverted comas that when I've had staff members be off with with stressful incidents with um with quote unquote mental health issues they've been willing and they've been wanting to to engage. Right yeah they've been willing and wanting to open up to talk to me about what's going on what's happening in the personal life that's happening what's happened in the work life that's impacted upon them to get them to this point. Yeah you know and then they've also been wanting to engage with how can we then help to get us to get you back into the workplace as well. Sure yeah so I've been I've been very lucky in that respect that the staff members I've had to deal with um have wanted to wanted to engage and they've recognised that they need the help. It's when you don't have a staff member like that. Yes and I'm now trying to think of anybody whom we might not have had and I can't think of anybody to be both okay that's good.

SPEAKER_03 28:19

Okay but that's again the infrastructure that's there and as you said over the last five ten years there has been a more awareness which is yes thankfully um and it is starting people are starting to talk more and it's okay to talk and all of that lovely stuff and you know going from there. So Chris I mean it's been an absolute pleasure to talk to you and we could chat about this topic for ages. But I

Humility And Different Coping Styles

SPEAKER_03 28:41

would love to know as our sort of final question for you if that's okay based on your experience and and what you've seen over the years what advice would you give to your younger self now in relation to healthy coping mechanisms?

SPEAKER_00 28:56

When I came into this industry um I I fell into this industry. Right I had a degree in medieval history um I didn't know what I wanted to do with myself I moved into London and I needed a job and the the thing down in Kingston was like a job in the back of um the evening standard through a recruitment consultancy. And I was educated I I I was educated I had degree degree level education and I was 24 25 and you think you know everything. You know I and it's only at that point you look back and after like six months of doing it and you realize you know nothing.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

Yes that's very true.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

You know absolutely nothing about the world I led a very sheltered life in my education in my upbringing and then it's a case of it would have been telling myself at that point look to to do it more quickly than I realised to take a step back yeah realize that no you're not you're not all that you have got so much to learn about life and about people right um and about how people react and how people cope um with my schooling I that schooling was very very niche schooling you know public school board boarding school such a clustered environment you don't realize it okay do you think everyone's like that? Yeah that's true and and so it's then recognizing okay I don't know everything I these people have been in this job for a while now and I'm I'm the new boy on the I'm the new boy in the patch I know nothing about what's going on here. So have a bit of humility listen to people and don't make assumptions or judgments on them based on your own upbringing because your upbringing is incredibly different to 90% of the people you are going to be interacting with the rest of your life if you don't recognise that and understand that rapidly then you're not going to do anything. You're not gonna go anywhere. As soon as I I don't think there was a like a a moment when I realised that there wasn't like a a light bulb moment it's sort of a gradual a gradual thing and then eventually after six months of doing the job it's gonna say oh I'm probably going to be in this industry for a while now because most people who join the rail industry we don't tend to leave we tend just to move around there's so much you can do in the rail industry. Yeah there is um and it was then it's gonna thought right if I'm gonna be in this industry right knuckle down and yeah and crack on with it basically yeah um so I suppose moving back to moving back to your question the the thing I would would tell my my younger self especially regarding healthy coping mechanisms is the fact that again everybody's different you don't know what's going on in people's lives so yeah for people to react in the way that they react to their own stimuli it might not be how you react but you don't know what's going on unless you ask unless they're willing to tell you yeah so until until that point happens accept their reactions it might not be your reaction but accept their reaction to their own life yeah and then move from there.

SPEAKER_03 32:28

Cool I love that such good advice isn't it I love that thank you so much um because it sounds so simple but um you you have to sometimes have to learn it up quite the hard way sometimes and I love that it's that as you said the the listening listening is the key isn't it and just not judging yeah listening is key and I think you know we certainly saw that as we were going through some of the workshops with you that you were there you could see you listening to what people were saying and then obviously we asked you to get involved um and then the questions you were then responded with were because you had listened and you were able to relate it to that world that made sense for the people in the room. So you know we were very grateful to have you present with us along with some of your other colleagues that co-facilitated it with us. So I just want to say a massive thank you but I'd like to find out how if somebody wanted to reach out to you to find out well maybe one about your career through the rail industry and how you went from where you were to where you are now because they're you know they might be looking for that career maybe how did you do it or just about coping healthily in a in a highly stressful environment how can people find you um I suppose the easiest way is through LinkedIn. LinkedIn okay yeah um I'm I'm on there it's it's fairly obvious who I am I've got slightly more hair in the photograph to something on so I please change it and update it slightly um yeah that's that'd be the best place to find me on brilliant I will make sure we signpost that for people as well so they know where you are so I just want to say massive thank you Chris for everything and um yeah look forward to speaking to you again I hope so thank you so much for everything devs take care so Law tell me what did you think?

Takeaways And Your Next Check-In

SPEAKER_01 34:15

Oh my goodness devs I just think it's inspiring when you you know we go about our day to day as a passenger on a train for example and you know just when you get an insight as to what goes on behind the scenes and the toll it has on those teams that are making it work and do what they can and just the things that can then help and the impact that a leader can have. So I took no to what Chris was saying.

SPEAKER_03 34:38

Yeah it was really good I mean and you know we were talking around how you can notice stress in others and being able to sort of lean in and ask the question and not be afraid to and you know how we could have some practical interventions as leaders within our teams to do that so that you keep the team safe and you're able to um think about your approach to it and what can you do to support and even if it's making somebody a cup of tea it's making sure that they get that cup of tea or something like that. And what I loved was the follow-up bit that he talked about and the check-ins it's so important to close that loop um because he they work shifts so you may not see that individual for a couple of weeks so um his he was hot on creating that safe environment by checking in with people making sure they're all right doing the follow-ups spotting the signs early which actually means you have to have a great level of awareness within your team and know them.

SPEAKER_01 35:37

Yeah really good yeah yeah really good and I think to hear it is right from the sort of the uh you know from that frontline perspective and yeah Chris is a fascinating guy I mean his background is just so interesting in terms of all the teams he's worked with yeah so I think my share the secret would be if listening to this has got you thinking about someone who you've worked with in the past or you're working with now who you can see they could do with a bit of a check-in get them to listen to this yeah and then the fact that um you know it's it's it's okay to to have a leader or to have that conversation with a leader to just keep an eye out on on it for you because that's what leaders are for. They need to ensure that people have got what they need mentally and practically to be able to do what's required on the shift ahead.

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Yeah definitely I'm with you on that and I suppose my call to action I know we I think yeah because he showed shared his which was amazing would be making sure that by having really good open communication and creating that environment that enables that to happen um I think that's creating that safe environment as the leader is key and noticing what's going on in your team. So that would be my call to action notice for your team create that space and keep talking absolutely so Debs we have got as our fourth part on Healthy Coping Mechanisms mini series.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

So if the conversation with Chris was around what role a leader in leading a team through um challenge and pressure um next week we are joined by an incredible guest and he's going to be taking us through well how can the team watch out for each other so how do you create a team environment where the team are able to help manage each other's um stresses and be aware to be able to cope so I'm super looking forward to that.

SPEAKER_03 37:19

Yeah me too and these have been fab so I look forward to it as well Law so um yeah let's catch up next time.

SPEAKER_01 37:26

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