300. How to Unwind: Put on a Sunhat to Cool

Aloha and welcome to our Summer Relax and Unwind Series! In this very special 300th episode we hear from Mel (Melanie Yea) who shares her top tips for calming our mind to step into pure relaxation 

Like a sunhat prevents us from overheating and burning our heads, Mel shares how to chill our inner headspace. Tips for calm and peaceful thinking so we can take a genuine break whether officially on holiday or not! 

Ideal listen for anyone who’s feeling stressed and wants to relax, step into a calmness and fully relax.  Set that Out Of Office in your mind and enjoy yourself.

Transcript

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Welcome And Summer Series Setup

SPEAKER_00 0:11

Welcome to the Secret Summer Coach Podcast. Reset, relax, and unwind with the summer series.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

Debs. Hello. Welcome back. Oh, welcome back. I am loving our four-part summer special looking at how to relax and unwind and how to really get what you need from your holiday, your off days, because we can't be on all of the time.

Celebrating 300 Episodes And Impact

SPEAKER_03 0:42

Except in our world, devs, we have been on for 300 episodes. Woohoo! Can you believe that?

SPEAKER_02 0:50

300. Oh my god. I wouldn't have thought we'd had that much to talk about, but obviously we do. I'll go nearest and dearest and what that's trying to say. I know that's an incredible milestone, isn't it, Laura?

SPEAKER_03 1:03

Oh, it really is dead. September 2020, we started out.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

Wow, that's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Because I think both of us looked at each other and thought if there was one time when people actually needed access to learning and development that helps them navigate through change, uncertainty, disruption, how to ensure that your mental health, as well as your physical health and your professional health is all okay. And uh, you know, it's been an absolute joy, Debs, sitting alongside you as we've been helping cheer people on from the sidelines. Yep, definitely. To navigate our way to this ever-evolving, rapidly changing world of work.

SPEAKER_02 1:40

Yeah, and it's been incredible. And when you think of how many people have actually downloaded our episodes and taken a listen and use it still every day, and we still get comments on it. It was it over 75,000 downloads in total or something. It's madness, and we're award winners as well. Who knows? Thanks for our awards, mum. Yeah, yeah, thanks for nominating us. Thanks for nominating us. Yeah, I love it.

SPEAKER_03 2:07

Yeah, and of course, what's wonderful is that it's such an incredible way to be able to showcase all the wonderful people that fall into our network, you know, sort of planned or unplanned, and be able to take all of those best bits and all of those nuggets.

Meet Mel And The Goal

SPEAKER_03 2:21

And what we wanted to do on our summer relax and unwind was to be able to capture some five top tips. So last week we had you sharing how to transition the border of work to leisure. So we've packed our passport, five top tips for making that shift into holiday mode. Yeah, and this one we are joined by the incredible Mel. Yes, and Melanie Ye, who is a well-being expert, she's gonna bring some top tips for how to ensure that you don't get a burnt brain, that your head doesn't get so hot that actually you are able to relax your mind. And Mel has the most relaxing voice in the business. So put on that sun hat, pour yourself another drink, and access another episode of Guilt Free CPD.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

Hi Law, hi Debs. Thank you very much for asking me my top five ways to relax the mind. Um, I've been having a think, and I've got I've got a few ideas up my sleeve ready to share with you for the summer.

Stop Spirals With A Repeat Phrase

SPEAKER_01 3:28

My first top tip is that when our mind's really busy, and maybe we're thinking about all the things that could go wrong or the things we might forget if we're packing for holiday or travelling somewhere. And because we're thinking of all the worst-case scenarios, we start feeling panicked, and you know, the cord to cell and adrenaline is released into the body, and that just ends up spiraling potentially, which is of course not what we want, but what some of us are quite good at. The trick here to relax the mind is to take back some control, and there's lots of ways that we can do that. And the way that I'm gonna suggest today is to have something that you can say in your own mind on repeat, so that your mind has far less opportunity to think of all the catastrophizing and the things that might go wrong, um, or to reflect on conversations that you had that you wish you'd handled differently, whatever it is that you're doing. Um, and one of my favourite affirmations that I have used for years, if I'm feeling like I'm spiraling or I'm anxious or overwhelmed or any kind of emotion that I'd really rather not have. I repeat in my mind this Louise Hay affirmation. If you're not familiar with Louise Hay, then look her up. Although she's no longer with us, she has left behind her lots of incredible affirmations that help us access uh resourceful states. My favourite is I love and respect myself and I trust the process of life, I am safe. And you can just say that in your own mind over and over again, if you're about to get on an aeroplane or you're arriving somewhere new, well, whenever it is. Um, I love and respect myself, and I trust the process of life, I am safe. And what you'll find is as you repeat that over and over again in your head, you'll access much more calm and you'll feel balanced and grounded, and your breathing will change, and your shoulders will drop, and you'll feel much better. And you can say that as much as you like on repeat in any moment, and you'll access a much more relaxed, calm mind.

Give Yourself Permission To Rest

SPEAKER_01 5:45

My next top tip is to give yourself permission. So it might be that for the rest of the year you're running around doing things, you're busy uh working, busy parents, whatever it is that you're busy doing, a lot of us are busy, and perhaps you're hoping to have some time off over the summer, and you get to where you're going, or maybe you're having a staycation, and you're like, right, time to chill, and it doesn't happen. And you think I've forgotten how to chill. Um, and partly sometimes we have because we're always in that energy of go, go, go, go, go. Um, and so what we often need is permission to pause, permission to stop, permission to cut corners, when that might look like takeaways, or more screen time for the children, or um maybe some mess that you wouldn't allow in the house or in the hotel room, wherever it is that you you you happen to be. Permission to sit down, do nothing on your sun lounger. Permission not to be running around after everyone else. Because we tend to learn our behaviours and habits growing up. Um, and sometimes it's possible that our parents have told us that we need to work hard, not be lazy, and these are the voices that we then use to navigate the world with. And so when we go on holiday or when we take time off work, we don't necessarily pause those voices. Ideally, we pause those voices all the time, but especially if you're on holiday and you want to relax. So take a breath, say to yourself, I give you permission to rest, I have permission to rest. And then you might find that you need to say that to yourself a few times throughout the day when you notice that you're behaving like someone's chasing you when you're trying to really quickly get a cup of coffee, or really quickly get to the pool, or really quickly do whatever it is you're doing. Take a breath, permission to slow down and notice how it feels when you start to slow down. Notice how your body seems to come off high alert because that will be you accessing a much more relaxed mind and state. Give yourself permission.

Reward Rest And Soothe Inner Critic

SPEAKER_01 8:04

What you can find when you've given yourself permission to rest is that you rest, and then a little while later, you feel bad for resting, and perhaps a loud voice or a quiet voice is judging you for being lazy and not doing enough. Notice if that happens. And if that happens, then what I would like you to do is reward yourself for the relaxation and meet the self-judgment and the self-criticism with compassion and kindness and say, you know, I understand this is how we normally operate. Um, however, this is time to relax. And I did really well reading my book by the pool, or I did really well slowly looking around the shops, whatever it is that you you were doing. Give yourself um a reward and recognition for actually leaning into the relaxation. And that might sound a bit wacky having that conversation with you, but we tend to be made up of lots of different parts. We're not straightforward, we're not one thing or the other. You know, we we have part of us that thinks we should hurry up and part of us that thinks we should rest, and they can be in conflict. Um, notice that you have different parts. If one part of you is judging yourself and the other part wants to rest, let the part that's judging you know that it's okay, that you're safe, and that you're really proud of yourself for pausing and resting, and that that's the plan, that's what you're gonna do for however long it is that you want to really lean into the relax. Give yourself permission and then reward yourself when you do the relaxation and reassure the part of you that feels scared or judgmental that you have paused and say it's okay. That's what we're doing at the

Self Compassion And Kinder Self Talk

SPEAKER_01 9:50

moment. And so the last suggestion that I have is it goes with all of the suggestions, really, which is to wrap all of that in super self-compassion, real self-kindness, where you don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to a really close friend or your child or a sibling. Um notice how you're speaking to yourself, the story that you're telling yourself. Maybe you're looking in the mirror in your swimming costume for the first time, or you're um, there's so many scenarios, aren't there? Notice if you're being mean and pause, delete whatever you've just said, and put something else that's kinder, more accepting, less judgmental in its place so that you can access some relaxation and a calmer mind and a calmer state. And the more you do that, you'll find that actually the more it becomes second nature to give yourself the kindness. I know that a lot of us are really critical and really mean to ourselves, and sometimes we have the belief that that helps to spur us on and to do better. But generally speaking, no one talks to us as much as we talk to ourselves. And if we're nice to ourselves and we cheer ourselves on, and we're our biggest fan, um then we're gonna feel better and we'll be able to access a calm mind much more easily. So always be kind to yourself, notice your internal dialogue, and if you can change it, um, and then you'll have a really relaxed, calm summer.

Hosts Reflect And Share The Secret

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Oh devs, how are you feeling now after five cock tips with our male?

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Oh my goodness, I just feel so much better, very relaxed. My mind is definitely in the where it should be, i.e., in holiday, not at work. Amazing. I loved it. Absolutely love listening to her as always, and you could listen to her forever.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

Absolutely. I'll ask you your call to action in a moment. My share the secret would be if you know that you've got a friend or a colleague who's about to go off on holiday and uh you know that they're carrying a lot of stuff in their head, yeah. And it might be a temptation to optimise every hour when you're then away. But actually, I think what's great listening to Mel is just being able to take time out for you. So get them to listen to this and just remind them of the purpose of leisure time.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

Yes, really, really important, and that sort of links into my um call to action, which is about giving your brain permission to

Call To Action And Next Week Tease

SPEAKER_02 12:23

slow down. Um, and it, you know, just take, I suppose, 10 minutes, if that, every single day if you can, especially if you're lying on the sunbed or wherever you might be holidaying or homestead, wherever it might be. Something that quietens your mind, whatever it might be, find it. But that permission to slow down would be my call to action and find the thing that just quietens your mind as well, because it would be the best thing you can do for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 12:50

Wonderful. So we've packed our passport. We have transitioned from one world of work into another world of leisure. We've heard from Mel five top tips for being able to calm your mind. And now, what do we need to do? Well, that feeling of taking off your socks and your working shoes, slipping handles, cannot wait until we hear from our Carl, who in next week's episode is going to take us through five top tips where we've got to de-stress your body. So looking forward to that one.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

Yeah, it'd be so cool, won't it, Laura? But in the meantime, get your sun cream on, get your sun hat ready, you don't have to worry about your passport, make sure it's in the safe somewhere, and then um, yeah, I'll I look forward to the next next bit where we're actually putting on my sandals. I don't even know where mine are.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

Yeah, beautiful. And uh as you and I resist the temptation of sharing each other's swimming costume.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:47

Alright, Debs. And um really looking forward to it. So have a fabulous week, Deb.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

You too, lovely. Love you. Bye.

How To Connect And Support

SPEAKER_03 14:02

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