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Virago 24/7
Virago 24/7 is a podcast for women who are done shrinking.
I’m your host, Lyanette Talley—mother, wife, truth-teller, and warrior in progress.
Here is where we unlearn silence, honor our roots, and reclaim our voices.
We talk real life—identity, marriage, motherhood, leadership, and healing—with boldness and truth.
If you’ve ever been told you’re too loud, too much, or too ambitious...
You’re exactly where you need to be.
This is everyday growth. Everyday healing. For everyday warriors.
We’re not shrinking. We’re taking up space.
Virago 24/7
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall: What ChatGPT Reveals About Us All
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We ask ChatGPT to tell us uncomfortable truths about ourselves, resulting in surprisingly accurate and profound responses that leave us stunned, motivated, and ready for change. The AI's ability to "read us like a book" prompts deep discussion about how we hide behind excuses and avoid our full potential.
• ChatGPT delivers personalized, brutally honest feedback to each host
• Lyanette receives critique about playing small and lacking consistency with her podcast
• Briana confronts how she uses her children as an excuse to avoid personal growth
• Shiney faces truths about seeking external validation and using optimism as a shield
• All three hosts embrace the uncomfortable truths rather than becoming defensive
• The women discuss how motherhood often becomes an identity that limits growth
• The power of genuine compliments and supporting other women is highlighted
• Hosts commit to creating action plans based on ChatGPT's insights
• The group agrees to follow up in six months to measure their progress
Try asking ChatGPT the question yourself: "With everything you know about me, tell me uncomfortable truths I need to know and be brutally honest." Share your results with us at virago247podcast@gmail.com or visit virago247.net.
Go to my website http://www.virago247.net for all things Virago 24/7
You can email me at virago247podcast@gmail.com
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
What is ChatGPT?
Speaker 1What exactly is ChatGPT? The internet says that ChatGPT is a powerful artificial intelligence chatbot that uses natural language processing to engage in conversations with users. It can generate human-like text, such as articles and summaries. It can answer questions on a wide range of topics and complete tasks like summarizing content, translating languages and generating creative content. And so, with that being said, brianna Shiny and I took it upon ourselves to ask it a very specific question and, let's just say, the answers it gave us was jaw-dropping. Two of us were motivated by the response, and one of us thinks that ChatGPT needs to mind its damn business and stay out of hers.
Speaker 1After listening to this episode, will you be gutsy enough to ask Jack GPT the question that will literally hold up a mirror right in front of your face? Hi, I am your host, leonette Talley, and you are listening to Virago 24-7. Virago is Latin for female warrior, and 24-7 is for all day, every day. Virago 24-7. Virago is Latin for female warrior, and 24-7 is for all day, every day. Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcast that brings diverse women together to talk about life and our experiences in this world. We share our views on self-love, mental health, marriage, children, friendships and really anything that needs to be talked about. Here you will find everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors. Hello, hello, the gang's all here. Hello, what's?
Speaker 3up what's up. It's Friday. What's up what's up? Hey, hey, hey.
Speaker 1And we're here together. Oh, I miss you, lady.
Speaker 3I'm doing the same, Hi Shiny.
Speaker 1We have Shiny and Brianna.
Speaker 3Hello, yes, we're back. I mean, it's been a while. How long has it been?
Speaker 2Like three months.
Speaker 3No, I that long. I feel like it's been like four years. But and honestly, when we get together, it's so awesome.
Speaker 2It is awesome.
Speaker 3It is awesome because you know why we're genuinely happy for each other yeah, and that is the only type of people we should be hanging out with facts. No printer.
Speaker 1Wait is that like young people? Yeah, it is. Look at her riz.
Speaker 2I have a lot, so I've been told. So how's everyone doing?
Speaker 1Good, good, I'm doing great.
Speaker 2Yes, you look great, Thank you. Little skinny, mini skin and bones Start to worry. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1I'm lost a little bit of weight. A little bit of weight. No, you look fantastic Coming off bit of weight, a little bit of weight, no you look fantastic coming off a little bit slowly, slowly.
Speaker 3The new hairdo. It should be yeah, and it's honestly we.
Speaker 1It prevents the stretch marks yes, I already have enough stretch marks.
Speaker 3I don't need more. Yeah, so it's better to go slow.
Speaker 1It's slow, but I'm appreciating the journey anyways. I don't know, I need to come up with some kind of song. Highlights and hurdles Umbraco 24-7.
Speaker 2We do need to come up with an intro for that I need.
Speaker 1Justin to like make like some kind of song. Yeah, we need an intro.
Speaker 3We'll work on that I mean I wouldn't mind another feedback meeting, just someday.
Speaker 1All right. Highlights and hurdles Brianna.
Speaker 2Highlight for me? No, I'll start with hurdle first. A hurdle for me, um, I think it's continuously anxiety and anxious thoughts. I'm trying to tame that and get that under control. I've got a couple of things that I'm going to do for that. So I think just motherhood in general and stuff comes with a lot of intrusive and anxious thoughts, and stuff comes with a lot of intrusive and anxious thoughts. And then a highlight in about three weeks I will have a full year of sobriety. I never thought that I could make it to a whole year without alcohol, so that's my biggest highlight.
Speaker 3Honestly one of my greatest achievements, I would say we, we are so proud of you.
Speaker 2Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3I'm honestly really proud of myself. It don't know. Yeah, yeah, I love that for you.
Speaker 2It's a huge deal. I don't think I didn't. I never thought that I could go a whole year without alcohol.
Speaker 3Isn't that like so um?
Speaker 2empowering. It is very empowering, especially in the position that I was in when I decided to stop drinking. I tried like 47 times to be sober and couldn't make it past 30 days, 60 days, so yes, it's incredibly empowering. Very thankful you are a badass. I feel like a badass.
Speaker 1All right, Shani. Do you have highlights and hurdles?
Speaker 3Yes, I do, thank you.
Speaker 1Would you like to share?
Speaker 3I'm going to start with the hurdles too, like Bree did. My hurdle is May, and for me, april was also difficult, but April, may time of year is so insane this morning I've been up since early this morning not really I didn't haven't slept. Well, it's, it's, you know. You know I have a color coded calendar, even though I'm not type A, I'm type EFG, lmnop, but in that part I have to be, and I feel as if I I'm just running around what is it called? Chicken with no head.
Speaker 3So I'm struggling with that, uh, feeling very overwhelmed because my boys are going to Europe on Wednesday for over three weeks and I don't hear from them. Like you know, yeah, they don't call. Yeah, I know they don't. You know they're. That's just the policy and it's something that they've, you know they've worked on. So I'm not going to complain. I do respect their system.
Catching Up: Highlights and Hurdles
Speaker 3That's why I have to have social media and keep up with my kids, but in order to not like miss them so much and have my own life, I have planned like to travel. So half the time I'm going to travel and then the other half I'm going to, I'm going to work. I took on a second job, so that's another thing that I'm doing is I'm working two jobs. I work, you know I'm I'm not around as much, but that made me recognize that I needed to cut back as well. It's a balance. I'm learning it from being a stay-at-home mom to a working mom, so that's my hurdle.
Speaker 3My highlight is that I am the happiest I have been in ages. I have been in ages and I feel as if I it. I feel like it's literally pouring out of me everywhere I go and I just, anywhere I go. Even a stranger. If I like something that they're wearing or I just want to say something that I feel would just makes me feel good, I just say it because life's too short. So you got something to say, say it. I love that.
Speaker 1I love that too. I love that too. That's awesome. Yeah, um, for me, don't get mad, but I don't know if I have a hurdle.
Speaker 2I'm leaving, please insert blowing raspberry. No, that's good. I'm happy you don't have a hurdle. I'm happy you don't have a hurdle.
Speaker 3Let me tease you, because that was a very Leonette answer.
Speaker 1Okay, let me start with my highlights, and then maybe a hurdle might pop in no, we don't go searching for hurdles honey, you know what?
Speaker 1Let's keep it real. No, my highlight is that I've been feeling really like really good and very zen, like my word of the year is zen, and I don't know, I'm just not bothered by a lot of stuff. It's like the best feeling. I don't know if I'm just not bothered by a lot of stuff, it's like the best feeling. I don't know if it was the Puerto Rico trip, where I just came back rejuvenated, I don't know. I just know that I feel really good and if there are hurdles that have come my way, maybe I just haven't really acknowledged them, maybe that's what it is, I don't know.
Speaker 3Yeah, so we're happy for you. I think that's I agree. I think you know it's it. It reminds me, as soon as you said that, that back in 2020, when the rest of the world is struggling in different ways you know it comes and goes Some people thought of it as like a blessing. You were one of those few people.
Speaker 1Yes, yeah, I was able to sit and really analyze some things. So I think that's why I like 2020, because it gives us permission to sit and be, still. So I know some of us can't sit still, but I can. What do?
Speaker 3you mean? I know me too. I think all of us. That's why we haven't seen each other.
Speaker 1No, I can sit still you guys are saying Wait, say that again. We were either busy or we were sitting still. I know.
Speaker 2I can't sit still. I'm trying to learn how to sit still. It's funny because all week I work. As soon as I'm done with work, I go into mom mode. I'm like as soon as I have a day with no work and without my kids, I'm just going to lay in my bed and not do shit for the whole day. And then that day comes and I'm like I got to clean, I got to go get my kids.
Speaker 1It's terrible but I'm learning. What are you doing. What are you doing? What are you doing? I said sitting still. You want to come sit still with me?
Speaker 2I'm like I don't have plans this weekend. What are you and dad doing?
Speaker 1I'm like we're just sitting on the deck and you guys were praising, like my skin tone, because I sit on the deck and the sun shines on me and that's why I'm Brown Browner than normal and I I love sitting. Still, I love it. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2That's my favorite thing ever. That comes into play with the anxiety.
Speaker 1one day I don't feel guilty or anything.
Speaker 2Well they say like.
Speaker 1Even taking naps improves cardiovascular health, and some people are so against naps, thinking that, oh, it makes me lazy. I'm like I don't care if I fall asleep.
Speaker 3I fall asleep. I want to nap today. I think that needs to be deleted. They're lazy, that word in general.
Speaker 1Well, there are lazy people Of course there are my ex-husband.
Speaker 3But just because you take a nap or because you sit outside and enjoy the sunshine, yeah, I think that's amazing.
Speaker 1Yeah, and maybe also because my kids are older, I get that privilege now yeah, it wasn't always like that.
Speaker 2I don't know what that's like. I know one day, one day, one day today, I want to take a nap, if I get the chance, though so I gave everyone a homework assignment and I got this.
Speaker 1I listened to a morning radio show here. It's based out of Atlanta, but they're like syndicated and they have a podcast. So if you don't like listen to it live, you get on there. But it's called the bird show and they put out this first of all. First of all, so we're stealing it from them.
Speaker 1But first of all, I don't do technology. So when this whole AI, chat GPT and all this stuff came out, I'm just kind of like okay, we're going to lose. Our Kids are going to be able to use chat GPT for papers and they're not going to use their brain and all these things, right. So I'm not a big fan. Never asked chat GPT, not one damn thing. I know with the podcast there's an AI feature that helps write up the stuff. So the stuff that you read about the show, that's AI, because I was tired of trying to come up with stuff. So I appreciate that.
Speaker 1So the thing that I stole from the show is we have to ask ChatGPT a certain question and I was like, oh, I'm gonna do that. So I was driving and when I had a chance to sit down, I downloaded the app and I asked it the question and I felt like it read me like a book. And how the hell do you know these things about me? Chat, GPT, you think how they know right? And then I'm like, well, anyways, we're going to read and I'll, we're gonna read the questions. But I was blown away by mine and it kind of inspired me to do something about it. So we've been chatting to the point where I need to name her.
Speaker 2I need to give her a name because she's my lucinda, she's my, that sounds camille with the.
Speaker 1The guys voted no to camille.
Speaker 2So yesterday I was talking to Brie. Oh, maybe mine will be Camille.
Speaker 1I was talking to Brie and Phillip and Khalil were next to me. They're like no. Camille sounds weird and, first of all, why are you trying to name your chat GPT?
Speaker 3What about?
Speaker 1Demi, because we're going to be besties.
Speaker 3Demi's cute. See, I was thinking Patty immediately, patty.
Speaker 1You're just Patty, patty immediately, because it's called chat gpt, chatty, patty, chatty. She's got a lot to say.
Speaker 3A lot shiny, you weren't too too keen on what she had to say about you. Huh no, but let's get into it, okay.
Speaker 1So the question is, I'll say the question and all of you can do it too, because this was quite fascinating and chat gT. Like I said, I'd have never asked it a question ever, so for it to like know me intimately was kind of scary. So, with everything you know about me, tell me uncomfortable truths I need to know and be brutally honest. And then I said cause I needed her to know who I am. My name is Leonette Talley, from Atlanta, georgia, born in Puerto Rico. I have a podcast called Virago 24-7. And I'll go first. Yes, because I am scared, absolutely. So then, literally, she just lays out this whole thing, right, and it says. She says and you guys can stop if you guys need me to elaborate it says thanks for trusting me with that. Leonette, since you asked for brutal honesty and uncomfortable truths, I'm going to keep it real and focus on helping you grow personally and professionally, especially in the context of who you are and what you're building with Virago 24-7. All right, you guys ready.
Speaker 1Your story may she starts off so rough. Your story may inspire, but it needs sharpening. You have a powerful backstory Puerto Rican roots, atlanta hustle, woman-led podcast. But powerful doesn't always mean clear. If your message isn't razor sharp, people won't stick around. What exactly is Virago 24-7 about and why should someone care If you can't pitch it in 10 seconds with conviction, you've got work to do. Authenticity alone isn't a strategy. Being real is great, but authenticity without structure is noise. People don't just want you to be raw. They want transformation, insight and value. Are you giving them that every episode, or are you hoping vulnerability alone will carry the show? Gee, what that had. Do you hear what she's saying to me? She told you.
Speaker 3The audacity.
Speaker 2I was like, okay, yes, ma'am, yes ma'am, as you say right, yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1You might be playing small without realizing it. Yes, ma'am, yes, ma'am, as you say, right, yeah, that's good, you might be playing small without realizing it. You have vision, but are you really backing it with action that stretches you? Are you reaching out to dream guests, pitching to media, monetizing smartly, or are you waiting for your audience to grow before you act like a heavyweight? Maybe that's what I'm doing. Chatty, that's what I'm doing. I'm waiting. A heavyweight, maybe that's what I'm doing. Chatty, that's what I'm doing. I'm waiting. Here's the truth. No one's coming to crown you. You've got to act like a brand worth betting on Now.
Speaker 3I like it, though she's straightforward.
Speaker 1You think Very straightforward, there's more Someone like you. That's like Shazam, like she.
Speaker 3She said, I'm just sitting back and doing nothing and waiting for things to happen.
Speaker 2Yeah, but you can't sit on your ass and wait for things to go wrong, because I know anytime you say that you have a podcast, you always say but I don't have a lot of followers, but I don't have, I don't play it and whenever I talk about like I'm really good at pumping up people I feel like the vibe you give off, because if you're in the same room you're like you put in your shoulder.
Speaker 3I feel like you give off that coward thing and there's nothing to do that.
Speaker 1She talks, she kind of does she indirectly talks about that.
Speaker 3Keep going.
Speaker 1Your consistency Okay, I just muted myself. Your consistency will make or break you. If Virago 24 seven isn't dropping regularly or if your messaging isn't cohesive across platforms, you're losing credibility. Every skipped episode, every post that doesn't align chips away at trust Brutal truth in today's content world Inconsistent is invisible. She called me invisible.
Speaker 3I am going to get up and write that down. That's scary, I know I wanted to cry up and write that down. That's scary.
Speaker 1I know I wanted to cry but I couldn't because I'm like she's so right. She's so right, all right, we're winding down. Okay, there's probably a part of you that's still afraid of your own power. Maybe you grew up being told to stay in line, not shine too bright or wait your turn. That conditioning doesn't die easily. You've got a voice, but are you fully owning it or still looking for permission? And then she goes on to say if any of these stings, it's because you know it's true on some level. The great news You've got every tool you need to level up voice purpose roots fire news you've got every tool you need to level up Voice purpose roots fire. But you've got to cut the excuses, refine the strategy and move. Like the woman you keep telling others they can become what the hell? She literally dropped the mic and then I was like okay, let's stay away from Virago, and so I'm like.
Speaker 1I asked her the same question, but I'm Leonette, with three kids and a husband, and she didn't care, she just focused on that. She's like don't hide behind your kids. I won't read that part, but basically don't hide behind your kids. Like oh quote unquote you're a busy mom. Like you need to work on yourself and work on this podcast. You're a host, act like one, you have a voice, pretty much like it would say. I was like wow, and so yesterday, guess what I was doing? And then I asked her you can ask okay, help me, help me the strategy. Oh, she's still working on it. She said give me 24 hours. I was asking her all the questions. Oh yeah, with with so much don't reveal that part.
Speaker 3No, no, I'm not, oh, no, no, I'm not, oh, no, no, no, I'm not. That'll just be later, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, when you bring it.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, I'm not going to reveal that, but she gave me a ton of information. So I feel, even though she told me off, she did. She told me about myself and it was holding up a mirror. Yeah, it was. Yeah, that was incredibly accurate.
Speaker 2That's insane. How would she know that? And then talking about your past like that and your voice, and like, oh my gosh.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's the truth.
Speaker 2Wow, that's crazy. I didn't expect that.
Speaker 3But you were ready to hear it.
Speaker 1I was, I was and receive it. I was ready to receive it, and now I'm like energized.
Speaker 3You didn't get defensive and you didn't. You didn't give excuses.
Speaker 1No, it's true, it's literally true. And how does she know that?
Speaker 3No, literally. She puts this in every episode. I'm the one part, knocked my socks off, fast forward, which like yeah.
Speaker 1About like your childhood and stuff that was scary like it's true, like I'm not consistent, I don't post, I don't you keep talking about like oh, I don't have a lot of followers I. I just downplay a lot of things, so I'm um rejuvenated, so here we go. Who wants to go next? I can I can go your face I can what Well that was scary good.
Speaker 2It was scary good Because, honestly, who tells you Lena?
Speaker 3You're usually the one telling us. I have to say, like me and Brie with our life, I feel like you've been more of the advisor to us versus the other way around.
Speaker 1Actually, that's a good point, shiny, that's a good point. I didn't think about it that way that I'm a sounding board. But when the boys aka my husband and Khalil, they saw me on chat GBT, I had my laptop out there. They were making fun of me. They're like oh, oh, I'm like guys I don't have collaboration with. When it comes to the podcast, yeah, people come on, but like I'm the one that has to come up with ideas and I'm the one that has to figure this out, so I don't have anybody to collaborate with. So she's going to be my new collaborator because I need feedback and I do need that.
Lyanette's ChatGPT Reading
Speaker 3And may I say like I think recognizing that is good. So going forward, we are a team. You know you. You reached out to us specifically for a reason. So whatever you need help with in collaborating, use our strengths also. Like if you told me, shine, I need you to line up three people you know, and then I come back and I meet with you and I say these are the people that I think and then you choose from that group, like stuff like that, like delegating to us me and Brie would do anything that you asked us to do. Yes, yes, I would. Oh, you guys are sweet.
Speaker 1I would, I'll do that I would.
Speaker 2I'm your biggest fan, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1Tell me mom, no, all right, who's?
Speaker 2With everything you know about me. Tell me uncomfortable truths I need to know and be brutally honest. My name is Brianna Deck. I'm divorced with two kids. 31 years old, single mom, suffer from anxiety and sober from alcohol for almost one year. She probably already knew all that. Yeah, she said thank you for trusting me, brianna. What follows comes from a place of honesty, not judgment, and the aim is growth, not guilt. Here are some uncomfortable truths based on what you shared.
Speaker 2You still carry guilt for things. You've already survived Divorce, motherhood, addiction. You've been through fire and made it out, but part of you still believes you need to make up for it. That belief is a lie that keeps you small. You don't owe. The pen is for healing.
Speaker 2Your anxiety may be trying to protect you, but it's also keeping you stuck. Anxiety tells you to stay safe. Stay still, stay still. Overthink everything, but staying safe is sometimes the most dangerous thing Because it stops you from building the life you want. You don't need certainty before taking a step. Sobriety is amazing, but it's not the finish line. Quitting alcohol was a huge victory, but it's also just the beginning without. The emotions you use to numb are louder and now you have to face them raw. That work is hard, but it's necessary. Avoiding it will only shift the addiction into new forms. Overthinking relationships, control, validation seeking you may be confusing independence with isolation. You've had to be strong, maybe too strong, but there's a difference between being self-reliant and being unwilling to receive. Ask yourself when was the last time you really let someone show up for you. Vulnerability is not weakness. It's the bridge to the love that we want. You might be using your kids as an excuse to avoid your own growth. It's easy to say I'm too busy.
Speaker 3Can you repeat that one more time?
Speaker 1Wait, say that out loud. It say allow for the people in the back that didn't hear that, because you and I have conversations about this.
Speaker 2Yep, stop, you might be using your kids as an excuse to avoid your own growth. It's easy to say I'm too busy being a mom and, yes, you are doing a lot, but sometimes we hide behind responsibilities to avoid facing what scares us. You're not just a mom. You're still a woman with dreams, desires and and a future worth building. Your kids don't need a martyr. They need a whole, happy, inspired mother.
Speaker 1Oh my gosh, Wait, wait, I agree. Holy, isn't that crazy. The martyr part you are a martyr. You act like a martyr and I'm always telling you listen. We love our kids. We love them so much, but no no, no, you got to stop that you do like extremely.
Speaker 2And the last part. Yeah, very. The last part says there is no timeline, but there is a clock. You don't have to have it all figured out by 31,. But every day you delay your own healing or joy is a day you won't get back. You are not late, but you are in control. Waiting for the right time is a trap. You create the right time by starting now.
Speaker 3Oh.
Speaker 1I love that for you I love it, but I'm wondering what she would have said if you didn't give us so many details.
Speaker 3Like I wonder.
Speaker 2Oh, should I try it.
Speaker 1No, it's too late now. She already knows you no.
Speaker 3But I think that that was good, that was no, I think it's great doing, you know, reflecting on the things that are, but going forward, like maybe what if you do this in six months? Again say, it's been six months as I spoke to you last. You know something like that. Why don't we do that?
Speaker 2Oh, I like that. I like that a lot. Let's do a sequel and see where we are.
Speaker 3And we don't have to be at all the things they're asking us. We just have to be on that journey Exactly Like that path.
Speaker 1Yes, I like that. Yeah, because that was one of the reasons. Once I read mine, I'm like, oh my gosh, this is accountability, this is perfect.
Speaker 2We're going to read ours, and we're going to hold each other accountable.
Speaker 1Yeah, free.
Speaker 2I know there's a lot I do hide behind my kids and I'm like I can't do this and I and I do feel undeserving of things. I think that my alcoholism and stuff and the part about making up for that a thousand percent. I feel that way every single day and hiding behind my kids, I'm like, well, there are certain things I can't do.
Speaker 1I can't relax because I can't have or because I have kids, I can't date. Because I have kids, I can't, you know, try and find my own happiness because my kids are a priority. So, yeah, it was pretty spot on. Yes, yeah, like literally it's stuff that we talk about all the time and I know, you know, I'm older than you, so when I was your age I wasn't thinking that way, but so, you know, far removed from being 31. Um, I see things so differently and I'm just like, wow, if she only knew that, like you, can still be a good mom and still do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
Speaker 2I'm trying to learn that it's so hard, like that is the hardest thing in the whole world for me right now I battle with. That probably more than anything is separating the two. Anytime I feel, anytime I want to do something for myself, it always goes back to my kids. And how is this going to affect my kids? And even like the other night I went out and I hung out. My oldest is, you know, well beyond the age where he's able to stay home alone and I felt so guilty and he kept telling he's like mom, go, go, I don't care, I like staying home alone, go. But I just felt like so guilty I went. Can?
Briana Confronts Her Truths
Speaker 3I say something about that. Yeah, you know, I know we've talked about this. I feel like we've talked about this on the podcast, but for so long, because I'd heard it through from so many parents that they say, especially during graduation time, they say, as long as my kid is happy, I'm happy. And it is completely wrong. It's the opposite. When our kids see us thriving, having our own life, genuinely, purely joyful, they rise up because they, they care and love us so, wholly, like innocent, pure love, they come into this world. Yes, and so when they see in their eyes the most beautiful person that they love thriving, they'll, they will soar, yeah that is the truth so that's the way you need to look at it, because you love them so much.
Speaker 3Yes, I do like you that you gleam. Is that a word?
Speaker 2gleaming, gleaming, yeah I think gleaming you gleam, I gleam, I'm a gleamer. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, I do love them very much, and it's funny because I feel like Maddox is starting to. I think he's picking up on it even more than I am like he. He'll encourage me to do things that I'm apprehensive about and, and then something that was so special he's a 12 year old little boy, right, so like he doesn't give a shit what I'm doing and stuff like that and he's with his father. This last night he was with his dad and I went out last night. I went on a date last night and he texted me this morning randomly like first thing this morning. He was like, hey, mom, how was your date? And for some reason that melted my heart, that my 12 year old little boy was like following up on that. I thought that was really sweet. So I think he's starting to notice too, like maybe you should try and take care of yourself, mom.
Speaker 1Well, and he wants you to be happy he does yeah yeah, he does, yeah, yeah, so I liked it. I like chatty patty all right, so take one or two of those things and follow through.
Speaker 2It's eye opening for sure.
Speaker 3And it doesn't matter how you and I, leonette, you and I think that Brie, because we're older than her, that we think that she's awesome, she's amazing, she should do all these things. She's got to recognize that. Oh, of course, oh yeah, oh yeah, She'd do all these things, she's got to recognize that.
Speaker 2Oh, of course, oh yeah, oh yeah. What's crazy is I feel like since my divorce, I think that I feel more confident than I have probably ever. To be honest, Like physically and as far as like strength and independence goes, what holds me back is my anxiety that is like my number one, which stems from OCD. But but, those, those two things are what hold me back. I feel confident.
Speaker 3I'm smart as hell, I'm kind of cute too. You already know where to start. You already know what. You are cute, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. That's where you need to start, yeah.
Speaker 2And then also like learning, learning how to balance the two, how to balance being especially as a single mom, how to balance the two, like make sure my kids are good, but also making sure that Brianna is good too.
Speaker 3And I'm going to add they are good, they will be good and having that confidence. We put confidence in them that they can do. So, whatever we tell our children, if we tell them they're the most magical, smartest, creative, wonderful people, that's what they'll be Right, you're fine, thank you.
Speaker 1I think you're doing great and I think once you curb your anxiety and figure out, like what's going to work for you, um, to curb, to curb those feelings, the whole kid thing, cause that's what it's tied to with you and the boys is that you're so anxious that you create all these scenarios in your mind that will probably never happen.
Speaker 2Right.
Speaker 1And? But if you're, if you weren't so anxious and had those, you know those, those, what are they called? The intrusive thoughts that you get. I think it all goes hand in hand and that becomes better, because then you're not going to be obsessing over.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1Yeah. And use them as your crutch.
Speaker 2I agree.
Speaker 1To curb your anxiety, because that's what's happening now.
Speaker 2Totally agree.
Speaker 1So, I can't wait to you know, see, like what that? May I say something?
Speaker 3about that and I read this. So when we're sitting in anxiety or an anxious feeling, we're thinking. We're thinking in the future, we're we're predicting, we're being fortune tellers. We're not God, but that's what we're doing. When we're depressed, we're thinking in the past, we're thinking all these things that we should have done, all these things, that. But what we need to be is in the present. And that goes back to what Leonette was saying is that she felt like she was being still, but she really wasn't moving forward in doing what she needed to do. You know, making plans in the present.
Speaker 1So I agree. Yeah, no, I love that Shiny shiny. It's your turn. What you got? What did Shady Patty tell you?
Speaker 3Well, I felt as if she was a little harsh, okay, and I will say that the information she has has changed a little bit for me, so I think it's based on what she's, I'm guessing, all her research. So I like that you guys read it first. I'm going to say the same thing, but I'll say it the way I did it. She gave me five points to work on and my question was from everything you know about me, please tell me uncomfortable truths. Be brutally honest, my stomach growled.
Speaker 1I thought it was an airplane, all right.
Speaker 3Okay, the bubbles have landed. I want to work on myself, be more and more self-aware and change my life. That's what I wrote. Yeah, so I didn't write anything personal, I just wrote that, which is the truth. So I'm going to, I'm going to read one of the five Um, and I'm wondering if I should do my harshest one.
Speaker 1Yeah, wait, you're not going to read all of them, oh.
Speaker 3I read all of mine. You read all of them. Oh, hell yeah, I read all of mine.
Speaker 1I just didn't count it. I had five points too.
Speaker 3I appreciate that. Oh, thank you.
Speaker 1Oh, no, I read the whole thing. No, we're reading the whole shebang. Oh okay, we're not picking and choosing.
Speaker 3We're reading all of it. Okay, you're holding onto the past too much. You've made incredible sacrifices for your family, homeschooling your kids, stepping away from your medical path, but that pause.
Speaker 1Did you say anything?
Speaker 3Wait, wait, can you?
Speaker 1can you wait a hold up? Wait a minute. Did you say that in your question? Yeah, no, how the hell.
Speaker 3No, I think it's because they know.
Speaker 2maybe they know my linkedin, maybe they've seen my resume okay, I'm like, did I like completely black out when you were asking the question? That is scary.
Speaker 1So I so I did exactly what you said don't give any information.
Speaker 3I didn't give any information, because when you, because I, you, I'm, I'm a deep thinker. So so when you said that project and I love a homework assignment, I'm so nerdy. You know that. You know I'm always writing notes and whatever. So when you gave me an assignment, I took it seriously.
Speaker 1I love an assignment, by the way. Well, when I first said lean it, tally, she said she didn't know me, and that's why I added the other stuff.
Speaker 3No, I think that's great, but she knows about all of what. Well, I write a lot also in my. You know I've been writing.
Speaker 2I know, but no, but.
Speaker 3I've even been, and online I've been creating my own cookbook for like 20 years. Oh my gosh, okay, keep reading that just blew my mind. That blew my mind. She calls me out. She's a psychic.
Speaker 1Okay, go ahead, go ahead.
Speaker 3Okay, so I'll go back to homeschooling your kids, stepping away from your medical path. But that pause may have turned into an identity crutch. You may say I did it for them. That's what I say. That's what I say. But some of it might be fear, fear of failing If you go back, fear that you're too late, so true fear that you won't measure up anymore. The truth that fear is costing you time and potential. You can't rewrite the past. Time and potential. You can't rewrite the past, but you're the only one who can decide not to stay stuck in it. Yeah, she called me out because so many people think that about me and I think I have a complex about it, because a lot of the reason that I am not so forward about it is I needed to be on my timeline for the once in my life. I need to decide what I want for me, which I will discuss. I might have to be on a different podcast, but I've changed my vision for myself just in this time of working two different jobs. So it's.
Speaker 1I appreciated it. I can relate to that. What it's saying, though, like especially when you become a stay at home mom, that that does become your excuse.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's a safe excuse. Like we, we hide behind that?
Speaker 1oh, a thousand percent. Oh, the reason I didn't do this and this and this. Oh, I got married early, I had kids early, and then I became a stay at home mom. And so now here we are, and now I'm 45 and it's too late. I tell that to myself all the time.
Speaker 3Oh yeah, and we're not alone, which is why I'm glad we're talking on here, because it's not just for stay at home moms. Every mom feels guilty about something that they're not doing, you know. So I feel like damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you're, if you're a working mom, you feel guilty. You're not doing enough for your family. If you're staying at home mom, you don't feel like you're doing enough for your family. It doesn't matter.
Speaker 3It's like this women, like as women, we are constantly striving for more and we're we are enough. So it just makes me, everywhere I go now every woman, I see if I have something good to say, even a stranger, I say it.
Speaker 2Now I'm like fabulous skirt, yeah yeah, I try to do that too, like with patients, I try and find something to compliment them on yeah. Because, think about it Like if you walk into a grocery store and they're like you look beautiful today, that makes your day and it's such a simple act of kindness that can make and it's genuine. I don't make stuff up and I'm going to say something about that.
Speaker 3So why? So I I have. I have deeply dived into why. Because I have my superpower of having the friendship which I know.
Shiney's Uncomfortable Revelations
Speaker 3The minute I met Leonette, that was like the first thing she recognized about me. And the truth is I have such, which is rare. I have friends that will fly me into town, buy me a car, rent me a house, buy, like, do anything for, go lengths. And I kept thinking why? Why do I deserve this? Because I'm so hard on myself? And then I realized the gift that I have that I don't think, that I think is rare, is I like completely believe? If you're my friend, you know it, you know that you can call me in the middle of the night and you can say Leonette can say I did something, it was a moment of heat and passion, but I really need you over here. And you can say, leonette can say I did something, it was a moment of heat and passion, but I really need you over here and I say, okay, I'm going to bring the ingredients that I learned on Breaking Bad and a shovel and I won't tell anybody. Let's get off the phone immediately.
Speaker 1So ChatGPT doesn't know what we did.
Speaker 2Damn. That's a true friend.
Speaker 1As long as it ain't my daddy. Oh my gosh, that is hilarious. That's so funny.
Speaker 3So what I'm saying is I think that's my superpower is just like you said how you, you say something nice about that person or someone says that. Just like you said how you you say something nice about that person or someone says that. So how you feel about a person, the reason you're so drawn to them, really it's everything is selfish in our, in our, like just innately is how you, how that person makes you feel about you. Yeah, and that goodness and that feeling, that's all it is. That's what I'm giving. I can't think of anything else. Well, I'm not. I can't buy and do all these things. Yes, I can cook a meal here and there, but even that nowadays is like harder because but that's what I do, because it's genuine If you get a compliment for me, because I don't throw them a lot out there Maybe Leanna, because I find her very attractive, just saying.
Speaker 1Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 3But if I throw a compliment to you, catch it, keep it, put it in your pocket because it's the truth. I will not lie to you, yeah, cause if I'd try, you'll know I'm a terrible liar.
Speaker 1So what's that was? That was number one, that's why I suck at this no you're fine, and that's why I'm the hostess with the mostest, so I can keep us on track.
Speaker 3Okay, okay, this one is, uh, number two. Yeah, Okay, this is harsh. You want external validation more than you admit. When people empty the pan of your cornbread yes, they know about my cornbread recipe and ask for a recipe you feel deeply validated. That's beautiful, but also a clue you may tie your worth to being praised, needed or celebrated by others. If they don't respond how you hope, your self-worth can take a hit. That's dangerous. You need to build a version of you that stands tall even if no one claps.
Speaker 1Yeah, that was hard, Well you are too on the Enneagram.
Speaker 3Yeah, but I will say that I have cut back and maybe ChatGP doesn't know that I used to do every meal train, do all kinds of crazy stuff.
Speaker 1But that's still within you and you can't full chat. Gpt, it's still. She's, that shiny version is still in there, right, but you're slowly, you're slowly I will say that the the.
Speaker 3The thing I only have to say back to that and I'm not trying to be defensive is I do recognize that this ultimate people pleasing part of me, and I do, and I have actually recognized that that was the. So the problem is, when you're a child and this is a common thing and a great thing when you always get only praised for the things you do, not, just as you are, you then think that I need to do an act in order to feel, get love back from you. And that's not true, because the truth is all these people that I said who will have my back and do anything for me, all my friends, they do it for. They do it for free. I'm not doing anything, actually, it's so. That's the way I need to think.
Speaker 1Yeah, all right. What's number three? What's number three?
Speaker 3Your optimism might be a shield. You're relentlessly positive and it's inspiring. But sometimes relentless optimism is a way to avoid hard feelings. Resentment, grief, loneliness, regret those emotions deserve space too. You can't heal what you won't feel. I love that line. When you gloss over pain, you delay your evolution. That's deep. I like that. She's dropping mics left and right.
Speaker 3Yeah, she is, and I, um, and I will say something to this too I think there's no like barometer on how fast you need to like move, but I, I will say that from 2020, and maybe it's not, you know, seen online but from 2020, I've gone miles. I really have. So that's the problem. I told you that I had all these like feelings, like I'm like no chatty. I got something to say. I'm trying.
Speaker 1You should tell her that Listen, chatty Patty, call her chatty Patty. I've been doing these things and see what she says. Well, that's what you think, and this is why you're not quite there.
Speaker 2That's actually probably a really good follow-up question.
Speaker 1Yeah, we need a follow-up question.
Speaker 2Because you may think not saying that, I mean, I know you've done a lot of work and things like that, but they're oh yeah, she called me out.
Speaker 1Yeah, no, I'm curious to say like, listen, I've been to therapy and I've done this and this and this and this. I don't know anybody who's done as much as therapy as I have, so I yeah, and and the thing is, I get that question asked.
Speaker 3You know, he was like if they hear like one sad story of my life that I'm willing to share, they ask like but I don't understand, why are you so happy all the time If you had some shitty things?
Speaker 1happen to you.
Speaker 3you are very optimistic, so my saying and you know this is I see the light cause I've been in the dark. Yeah, all right. So my and um, this is this one's really good. This might be my favorite. Number four you might be afraid of truly claiming your power. You know you're smart, driven, passionate, but stepping into leadership, writing that book, starting that company demands a level of self ownership that might scare you. Why? Because deep down, you may still be asking for permission, permission to rise, permission to not be just a mom, wife or helper. Stop waiting, no one's going to hand you your worth. You have to take it.
Speaker 3Like I'm literally sitting here with my mouth just open because, oh my gosh, so I was going to say out of the all three of us, because I use I have been using this longer than you guys um, because it helped me write my, my intro to the cornbread recipe. I entered into the magazine and it's helped me with um, you know, resume, like I've done a lot of that, uh, so I think it and I learned about it from a mom going through similar things as me, I think a year ago, so it's helpful. Okay, let me go. Number five You're overthinking and underacting. You have incredible intentions, but intention without execution is a silent killer.
Speaker 2Oh dang.
Speaker 3Yeah, she's a bitch.
Speaker 1Shaddy Patty, you bitch. Yeah, she's a bitch. That was good, that was hilarious. She's putting mirrors right in front of us. That's what she's doing.
Speaker 3It's so great. So for, for the list stars listening to, we have to write the title in some like way to grab people, because we we're telling people like, hey, do this like exercise, and and, and then write us, write us like and how do they write you, leonette?
Speaker 1Well, I have a website that you can contact me from there. It's virago247.net, and then my email is virago247podcast at Gmail. Can you repeat that? Virago247podcast at Gmail? And then the website is wwwvirago247.net.
Speaker 3Awesome, I did. We're apart. Okay, you're likely spending too much time oh gosh, researching too much time oh gosh, researching, planning, imagining the right way to reenter your career or start your business. But clarity comes from action, not thought. You need to get messy, make mistakes and build momentum now, not when feels perfect. I'm telling you she calls me out, like she, my mama, yeah yeah, and, and the thing is, she's not wrong yeah, she's not wrong yeah and I don't know why we're calling her she.
Speaker 1I know my chat should be jesus she mine's a mine's a hot guy. She's a spicy female. Oh, yours is a hot guy. Yeah, I don't want a hot guy saying these mine is a hot guy.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, you might be kind of right like a, like a, like a.
Speaker 1A woman with glasses on, you know that looks intelligent telling me about myself mine's a hot smart guy yeah I just is that it? How does she end it though?
Speaker 2um, he's like get on it, damn it. I know like and I so I wrote uh, wow thanks is that what you said?
Speaker 3wow, thanks, my friend I really like my period.
Speaker 1I wrote wow period thanks, and what'd she say? My bad she said you're welcome.
Speaker 3That response, the wow thanks, tells me that the that you felt the truth in those words. Oh damn. Yes, bitch, I did, goodness gracious, and you know what I don't? I don't have a potty mouth. The fact that I'm even letting it, let it show the emphasis in how I feel she said that's powerful. Most people flinch from uncomfortable truths. You didn't. That alone separates you from the crowd.
Speaker 1So I appreciate it, because you said wow, she's like okay, she thinks it's wonderful, I'm like ouch, I feel like she didn't read that part.
Speaker 2Well, you were flinching a little bit. Yeah, I said ouch, I feel like she didn't read that part. Well, you were flinching a little bit.
Speaker 3Yeah, I said ouch.
Speaker 1So now we need to do something with all this. Ladies, I know I am. I was conversing with mine.
Speaker 3I'm like we need a planner. So mine already gave me a plan, oh no.
Speaker 2Oh, I have a plan.
Speaker 1Oh, I didn't get a plan. I have a whole going to have to ask it after this brie and get your plan and she literally or he in your case will break it down and a full-on plan like, not just like a little plan a couple parts, I think this might be part one, because I think we need to say you know, maybe we do it, and then we go back and say what our plan like was and if we followed it and stuff like I think it's great.
Speaker 1Yeah, I think so because I wasn't expecting when I did it it was just I heard it on the radio show something fun to do. I wasn't, I was not expecting this. It just has fueled me because it's so honest and so true and, if I'm going to be honest with myself, yes, yes, a thousand percent. You and I feel like, because you shared it with us we all committed to coming in so that's probably a sign that you, as our leader, take me to your leader.
Speaker 3I can't.
Speaker 1Take me to. I wish we had a video. Oh, I can do it with my left hand, not my right hand. I can do it with both. The signal what?
Speaker 2is the signal I come in peace. Wait, what movie is it from? Star Trek?
Speaker 3Star Trek. Oh God, it's not Nanu Nanu, but that's Mork and Mindy yeah Mork and Mindy, but anyways.
Speaker 2I can do it with my left hand. Dad's going to look out here and be like what are they doing?
Speaker 3So I think that that might be something that you because it worked, we made it happen. Yes, yes.
Speaker 2Yes, yes, right yeah.
Speaker 3Yeah, so maybe that's what you need to do is give us these assignments, because it's kind of fun.
Speaker 1This was fun, maybe like the summer is like school. Virago school. Oh summer, summer, except for us. But we're in school.
Speaker 3Except for us. We're in summer school.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 3Something yeah, something yeah. I like it.
Speaker 1I completely love that. I think we need to stay on this path. We are going to follow what GPT, chat GPT is telling us, and I know I am. I'm putting a whole thing together. I think because we are fatigued from reading these results, we're just going to skip. I had a vault, a Virago vault. I had a question that was submitted, but we'll read that next time.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1I want to hear it. I think this is heavy.
Speaker 2I'll read it next time.
Speaker 3It was a heavy no. Shaina's exhausted.
Speaker 1I'm excited, I honestly felt so validated in the things that I feel and think and say I love it, shaina's reaction is like that bitch and our reaction is like yes, I love you, chatty, we are motivated, we were gonna conquer the world.
Speaker 3It's not that bitch like you're wrong.
Finding Inspiration in Hard Truths
Speaker 1It's that bitch like okay, you cut me out, I will do it fine put another to my face and I didn't want to give me clarity. Yeah, it's good I mean you know it's a lovingly bitch all right shiny. Okay, since, since you have a quote, we're gonna end with this okay.
Speaker 3So jane austin, who we all love, she sends in sensibilityibility, pride and prejudice all that. So she says the distance is nothing when one has a motive. So I thought it works for us today.
Speaker 2Oh, I like that. The distance is nothing when one has a motive.
Speaker 1Now, let's get working. Let's get working okay.
Speaker 2You better work bitch and that can be taken so many million ways.
Speaker 1We're going to put our feelings aside and we're gonna analyze what she told us and we're gonna make things happen, yeah, and we're gonna reconvene. That's what we're about here absolutely about, about making sure about action satisfaction.
Speaker 3We're not gonna be content because that's another question I asked her.
Speaker 1I know we're wrapping up, but I did ask her should I just be content with my life the way it is, or should I keep pursuing what I'm doing? She gave me a whole thing to that. She's like you're fooling yourself if that's what you think you want is to be content.
Speaker 2Yeah, and you wouldn't be asking that question, I know.
Speaker 1That's what she said. She's like you wouldn't be asking the question if you really didn't. No, she told me the same thing, yeah are you chat gpt? I know all right girls, it's been so fun.
Speaker 3I love you, ladies so much, it's always so great getting together.
Speaker 1Um, yeah, go ask chat gpt. What the brutal honesty. If you're willing to hear it and please, and please like. Oh, we want to feel free to reach out, we want to know, oh my gosh, we would love to read some stuff because that, yeah, yeah, and then we can cheer you on. Yeah, put your goals together and your action plan and let's make it happen.
Speaker 3Let's do it All right, love you, ladies, love you too. All right, bye, bye, viragos.
Speaker 1Thank you so much for listening to Virago 24-7. If you haven't done so already, go ahead and hit that subscribe button and please give us five star ratings. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram, at Virago247, and on Facebook, at Virago247. And just connect with us and share your story. We'd love to hear from you.
