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Virago 24/7
Virago 24/7 is a podcast for women who are done shrinking.
I’m your host, Lyanette Talley—mother, wife, truth-teller, and warrior in progress.
Here is where we unlearn silence, honor our roots, and reclaim our voices.
We talk real life—identity, marriage, motherhood, leadership, and healing—with boldness and truth.
If you’ve ever been told you’re too loud, too much, or too ambitious...
You’re exactly where you need to be.
This is everyday growth. Everyday healing. For everyday warriors.
We’re not shrinking. We’re taking up space.
Virago 24/7
Quiet Cravings, Loud Truths
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
One choice can change everything. That’s the heart of this raw, unguarded conversation about alcoholism, binge drinking, bulimia, and the quiet rituals people use to cope with pain. I, along with Briana Deck, sit down with author and coach Colleen Clifford (Life Beyond the Binge) to unpack the 95/5 factor—the idea that most drinking nights seem “fine,” but the rare wild-card moment can upend a life.
Together, we draw a clear line between willpower and sustainable recovery. Colleen shares how reframing from alcohol helped her move from “I can’t” to “I don’t want it,” a mindset shift that reduced cravings and restored choice. We talk through practical tools for high-risk moments: eat before evening triggers hit, identify the people and places that spike urges, leave early when the vibe turns, and keep honest support on speed dial.
The conversation widens to eating disorders and the shared roots beneath addictive patterns: dysregulated emotions, the need for control, and unresolved grief. You’ll hear a candid sobriety story marked by detoxes, anxiety, and blackouts, and the relief that comes with telling the truth, setting boundaries, and building a life you don’t want to escape. Colleen reveals why she’s shifting from coaching to speaking, with a mission to reach teens and young adults about blackouts, consent, and the hidden risks of binge culture.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship with alcohol is serving you, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and next steps. Listen, share it with someone who needs hope, and if the conversation resonates, follow the show, leave a five-star review, and tell us what mindset shift changed your life.
Go to my website http://www.virago247.net for all things Virago 24/7
You can email me at virago247podcast@gmail.com
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Everyday growth, everyday healing with everyday warriors!
Music by Deli Rowe: "Space to Move"
Logo by Kaylin Talley
Today on Virago 24-7, we're having an honest conversation about alcoholism, sobriety, and what it really takes to break free from cycles that no longer serve us. My guest is Colleen Clifford, author of Life Beyond the Bench, and a coach with Pure Potential at purepotential.com. While Colleen's work is often associated with food and bench behaviors, her message reaches far, far beyond that. At its core, her work is about addiction, emotional regulation, and the deep-rooted patterns that keep us turning to substances like alcohol, you know, to cope, numb or survive. In this episode, we talk about how alcoholism often shows up quietly, especially for high-functioning women, why willpower alone doesn't work, and how healing begins when we address the emotional drivers underneath the behavior, not just the drinking itself. If you or someone you love has ever questioned their relationship with alcohol, this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and hope. Let's get into it. Hi, I am your host, Leonette Talley, and you are listening to Virago 24-7. Virago is Latin for female warrior, and 24-7 is for all day, every day. Virago 24-7 is a weekly podcast that brings diverse women together to talk about life and our experiences in this world, which are our views on self-love, mental health, marriage, children, friendships, and really anything that needs to be talked about. Here you will find everyday growth, everyday healing, with everyday warriors.
SPEAKER_00:Right? Like you finally get past it. Yeah. Oh yeah. And just offer hope to other people that's possible. And you know, even if you think you're at like it there's no hope, there is hope.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, yes. I've actually had two people approach me in the last month who um are concerned that they may have a drinking problem. And I was telling Lyonette the other day, it's crazy that people are coming to me about that because I never in a million years thought I would be able to be sober for an extended amount of time. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01:No, I did not think that. Let's talk about it. I just pressed record. While you guys were talking, I'm like, let me press record. This sounds good. So for those who are joining us, this is Colleen Clifford. And um she I know you told me um in the email that you are getting away from coaching because you have a uh is it a company called uh Peer Potential, where you coach uh through not just alcohol, but binging, binge eating, anything like that. Is that is that what it is? Um and I know you said you're trying to get away from that and you want to be a speaker. Uh you have a book that is is it out already or is it coming out?
SPEAKER_00:It's coming out. It will be published in May 2026.
SPEAKER_01:And it's called Life Beyond the Bench. So welcome, Colleen Clifford and Brianna. Brianna Deck has been on the show many, many times. And so Brianna Deck is also joining us. So I didn't want to interrupt you guys, but thanks for having us.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, this is great. I think you two ladies are my youngest podcasters I've been on with. So I love that.
SPEAKER_01:Listen, I'm not that young though. 23 and 24. I'm just getting I just turned 46 in November. You look 23. She's a she's a baby. She's 31. 31, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my gosh. Well, awesome. Way to go. Way to go. So let's get into it.
SPEAKER_01:So, where do you want to start, Brianna? Because she is a fisher woman. She lives, you're from Seattle, correct? She's from Seattle. Nice. She has a book coming out. Um, I know you want to talk more about alcohol and alcoholism and all that stuff. So how long have you been sober?
SPEAKER_00:Um, well, I quit once. So I'm old. I'm like 62. You girls are young, and I love that. But I I uh quit once, uh, probably around 48 for two and a half years. And then, and there's a long story about why I started drinking past that, but then um I quit again permanently, I feel like, almost four and a half years ago, actually, in December. Yeah. Yeah, thanks. That's exciting. Yeah. So what thought it is exciting?
SPEAKER_01:What um led you to get to that point? Um this time?
SPEAKER_00:Yes. Yeah. Um, well, the first time I quit because I saw myself on a video, and I thought I was okay taking the video, and I looked back the next day and I thought, oh my god, I was so trash, which which was an eye-opener for me. And also at the time I was getting older, and I thought this isn't who I want to show up, this isn't how I want to show up in the world. Like my nephews were there, and I was drunk at Colleen, and I thought this has to stop. But then, you know, time away from drinking, and my type of drinking is binge drinking. So I didn't drink every day, I didn't consider myself an alcoholic, and I didn't even think about alcohol every day. So um, after a couple of years of not drinking, I started talking myself out of having a problem because I hadn't done anything like that in a long time. So I'm like, ah, I'm okay, I can drink. So it crept back in, right? And so then, fast forward to um when I quit this time, I had and and this is the thing with binge drinking that I write about in my book is that it only takes one moment to change your life forever, right? In drinking, and especially in binge drinking. And I'd gone to a party, my best friend's party, the same girl, actually. I quit the first time we were drinking buddies. But um, I went to her party and it was just gonna be an afternoon barbecue, and I ended up getting trashed, and I drove home drunk. And on the drive home, I remember and I thought I was okay to drive, right? My friends were all saying stay the night, and I was like, No, I have to get home. I promised my partner I'd be home, and I always keep my promise. So, but three-quarters of the way in the drive, you know, seeing double line, I shut one eye, and I knew then that I was really drunk because you only see devil when you're drunk. And I just made a prayer, get me home safe, and I swear to God, I will quit drinking. And so the next day I woke up and I was like, I like to keep my promises. So even though I was afraid, I was like, How am I gonna do this? It was like I gotta stop. Can I ask a question?
SPEAKER_04:Um, when you say binge drinker, what does that look like? Because I like to think I'm a binge drinker, but I didn't I haven't done enough research to classify classify myself as that.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I appreciate that question because and this is what my entire book is about, really. And also my late husband died by alcohol-related suicide. And so binge yes, thank you. It's um yeah, it's really tragic. And this is part of my purpose of why I want to get this message out there is binge drinking is four or more drinks for a female in one incident, or five or more for a male. And it can um so it's just like we call it partying, right? That's what I always called it. And so throughout my entire life of my drinking, like I said, I'm 62 and I started drinking in college in my 20s. Um, you know, I didn't think I had a problem because I didn't drink every day. And even when I did binge drink, things didn't always go wrong, right? You can binge drink at a party and you're with your friends, and you might have cried like the next day you wake up and go, Oh, I was I'm so embarrassed. I started crying, I don't know why. And your friends are like, Oh, it's okay, you never drink that like that, or you don't drink like that often. So it's really easy to say, okay, I'm gonna be careful next time, right? I don't know how many times I said, Okay, next time I drink, I'm gonna be careful. So the binge drinking is a thing, and it's really insidious because um, you know, for someone like me who didn't drink every day, it's easy to just mask the the thing until you get in a car and drive home and maybe kill someone, or you wake up with a stranger in bed, or you you know, do something horrible. My late husband killed himself. I mean, those are the moments I'm talking about where you can't get that back.
SPEAKER_01:How long ago did that happen um with your husband?
SPEAKER_00:That was 14 years ago. Okay, wow. Yes. So, you know, drinking and depression is a bad combo, right? Oh, it's terrible. Yeah, and and the another, and so there is a hotline. I always like to to emphasize this 988, because some people don't know this. There's a crisis hotline. You can call any time of the 24-7, 365 days a year. And it's not only if you're suicidal, it can be a crisis of anything going on in life. And there's someone who will a train counselor to answer the phone and and give you some help. It can be a lifesaver. So I like to throw that out there in case somebody listening needs that. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:Um, so okay, so I see the difference because like with you Mine was you're both.
SPEAKER_04:My yeah, I'm just like a raging alcoholic, I think. Um you would wake up. I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh at that.
SPEAKER_01:That was not really humor is my coping mechanic. She jokes about it all the time. We laugh about it, even though it's not a funny joke. You guys do. I've she is, and I've had to scrape this raging alcoholic off the floor many times. So yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Mine was like, I would I would there were certain times I would try to be sober, and I think the most I was ever like truly, honestly sober, the longest was probably like three weeks without any alcohol. And then I would try I would try and get sober, fail miserably, and then at night time, like after work or something, I would just sneak a couple of like bottles of wine, the little bottles of wine or the little airplane bottles of fireball, whatever I could get my hands on, something I could fit into my purse. Um, and I would drink that just to fall asleep. And I would, I would be able to maintain that for a couple of weeks. And then there would be a situation, whether it'd be a social gathering or a depressive state, a fight with my husband, whatever the case may be, ex-husband, thank the Lord. Um, whatever the case may be. And then I would get drunk. And I, once I like s really start drinking, I can't stop until I am blacked out, sick. I would wake up the next morning feeling absolutely terrible. Um, the worst symptom for me, I think, was like the anxiety. I had sweating, feeling like I was gonna pass out. Um, and so in order to make myself feel better, I would continue drinking. If it was five in the morning, it was five in the morning, it was three in the afternoon, it was three in the afternoon. It didn't matter when. Um, and so in those situations, I would drink, drink, drink, and then I'd go like a week where I would be passed out drunk for an entire week, not eating, not drinking anything but alcohol. Um, and it and I would wake up obviously physically feeling absolutely terrible alcohol withdrawals. Um, and that was a repetitive cycle for many years. That that was the worst. The nights that I would, you know, have a couple shots to fall asleep. I would wake up feeling pretty shitty the next morning, but but I would go on vendors where I would drink for five, seven days in a row and do nothing but drink and sleep, and that's it. And I and I'm I can't function. I I cannot function with alcohol in my body at all.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's different than my kind of drinking because I would wake up hungover and I wouldn't drink. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Not that every time I woke up feeling that terrible, that was my solution was drinking. And then just passing.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, the hair of the dog, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I can I can say I've done that in Mexico or on vacations, you know, when I woke up hungover and started drinking again, but it wasn't like at home I wouldn't do that. Yeah. So yeah, no, yeah, that's a different well. Kudos to you for stopping. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04:It's like, yeah. Wow. It's the hardest thing in the world getting sober from alcohol. I'm not sure about other substances, but um it it's definitely it's definitely the hardest battle I've ever faced. But I'm it I'm more proud of myself than I've ever been in my whole life. I um I've been sober a year and six months, and I never thought I would see six months.
SPEAKER_00:So wow, that is so great. Congratulations.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you so much. So, question, Colleen. Um, so like you you know, you're talking about your binge drinking and that you've done it since your 20s, you're in your 60s now. What um what motivated you? I know you said your husband played a part in it, for you to finally stop and then get into like helping people and coaching them, and how did that all come about?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, thanks for asking. So I had a health coach certification already. I got that like in 2009, but nobody back then was doing health coaching, and nobody even knew what it was. And the internet was just starting, and um, so it wasn't, I was afraid to jump into that career because I needed money and I commercially fished. So I was like, okay, this was fun, but I'm not gonna make any money coaching. So I started. Um, the way I quit drinking was through This Naked Mind with Annie Grace. I don't know if you've heard of her. I've heard of the book, I've never read it. Yes. Yeah, so I uh Googled help, right? As we can do now. I woke up the next morning after driving home drunk and I was like, alcohol help, and her book popped up, and then I also saw her alcohol free experiment for 30 days, which was free, and so I I ordered her book and I joined the alcohol free experiment. Well, I couldn't do it, I couldn't, you know, succeed. I tried, and so I tried it again. So after the third time of trying and not succeeding, I thought, okay, I'm just gonna pay for her program, which is what she offered. And um, and it's so funny because it wasn't even very expensive. I just didn't want to pay any money. It's it's so interesting now. It's the best money I've ever spent, right? Um so I joined her program, and once I did, it was like um you get on coaching calls, it's like this kind of thing. We're having these real conversations, and um about six months into it, I I clicked, uh like I knew I was done drinking, and I already knew I could quit because I had before. And I asked her if I could go into her coaching program because I already had a coaching certification, a health coaching one, and I wanted an alcohol-free coaching, and so I just joined her alcohol-free coaching certification program, and I I went through that.
unknown:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:May I ask a question? Today, do you because I I ask because I've tried like Alcoholics Anonymous and things like that. Do you uh do anything like that today to stay sober or what helps keep you sober today?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, for me, fortunately, the mindset shifts I learned in her program. I don't um I don't want to drink. It's not like I I can't. It's not it's just I choose not to. And so it's so liberating because you know, everyone has I I believe we're all different and programs, different programs work for different people. Like I know some people that that alcohol anonymous is like their thing and they love it, and it works for them, and that's great. I love that. Um, so I kind of feel like what I try to encourage people who ask me, and how did I quit? There's a lot of op, there's a lot of options out there. There's women for sobriety, there's coaching, and for me, the Annie Grace approach just really vibed with me, and it was changing how I felt alcohol served me. I realized I was telling myself the wrong stories, that I needed it to have fun, that I needed it to feel like I was um, you know, people at the party might think I was funny, you know, just all the reasons I drank. And there, you know, and so she works, the coaches there. We work on changing our mindset around alcohol. And so what it just kind of did for me is like I have alcohol in the house, I don't even look at it. My partner drinks not a lot. Now, if he drank all the time, it wouldn't work. And we talk about that. I'm like, you know, I don't guilt him. He wants to have a drink, go for it, you know. Um, but I but I always say if you're falling down drunk, it's not gonna work. So I guess I do put a little guilt on him.
SPEAKER_04:I um I struggled with the AA in the beginning because whenever you're first trying to get sober, I feel like it was kind of shoved down my throat. Like you have to do AA, AA is the only thing that's gonna keep you. And I just I I tried so many times and I just couldn't, I didn't vibe with it. It I would leave there and want to drink, okay? Like it was just I did not like it at all. And so I haven't gone to an AA meeting since I first got sober a year and a half ago. Excuse me. And I agree, I feel like something shifted in my mind. I feel like I I grew tired of the repetitive, exhausting cycle that is alcoholism. And I I know that the alcoholism is something I'll have for the rest of my life. But today, yesterday, and the 365 days before that, I just don't want to. I don't want to. I don't, I know it doesn't serve me well. I know that it's not best for me or for my kids. Um, and so it's it's it's a huge blessing that that it it just I just don't want to anymore. I honestly, whenever I think back, I'm like, I don't even remember what it feels like to to be drunk or to be tipsy. Isn't that great?
SPEAKER_00:It is, it's amazing. I do tell people though that to to be cautioned, to have caution because cravings, you know, I've like I've gone almost on five years and the cravings, the like the patterns we have created with how we drank, sometimes they'll appear in a situation. Like I used to drink a lot with my cousin in Arizona after horseback riding. We'd you know, take and so when I go to visit her, I went to visit her, and all of a sudden I had this huge craving. Now it's so weird because I don't want to drink. I it's not even my identity anymore. Yet I had this craving to have a beer. But so I go, okay, so what? You know, it's not gonna last forever. I know I don't want to have a beer. And you know, it's interesting how it happened where I used to always drink. And so it's just kind of like a reminder to people that you know you can still have a lot of years of not drinking and a craving might happen, but we don't have to freak out about it. It doesn't mean you have to do it. And even if you do take a sip of a beer, it doesn't mean it's over, right? Like you have you don't have to start at day one again. It's just like tell yourself, okay, remind yourself why you're not drinking. That's what I do. When because I've had a couple cravings, like you know, like that, kind of strong ones. And it's just like, whoa, where's this coming from? I haven't had a craving in since I quit. Yeah, you know? So it's kind of weird. So I just throw that caution out there too, in case you do get a craving, like have your tools of how you're gonna get past it.
SPEAKER_04:Do you remember after getting sober? Because obviously when whenever you're and I I consider myself even a year and a half in pretty new to sobriety, very new to sobriety, actually. Um, but do you remember when those cravings first started to hit? Because in the beginning you're like so gung-ho and like so excited to be sober. So I feel like that kind of alleviates the cravings. But do you remember how far into getting sober those those cravings occurred?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, for me, um the the ones I was just talking about was just last year. Yeah. Um, but for me, when I quit drinking, I had cravings the first week because I had a habit of drinking every day, like well, not every day, but when I did drink, it would be in the afternoon.
SPEAKER_03:Right.
SPEAKER_00:You know, like around three or four. And so I had to figure out why I was getting those cravings. And I I discovered it was most of the time because I hadn't eaten much all day. I just needed to eat, and then my blood sugar went back up and I didn't have a craving anymore. So it's kind of like sometimes we have to figure out why, you know, like maybe there's a pattern to our cravings and notice where you're at, what's happening, like are you coming home from work, exhausted, tired, had a you know, rough day at work, and you wanted to start drinking, okay. What can you do different? You know, that kind of thing. Just kind of pay attention. But um yeah, so for me, the uh oh, here's one. You talked about fireball. So I commercially fish, and my partner does too, and I came home just uh uh in September. And for some reason, I don't know why, in our refrigerator, I opened up the vegetable drawer. I kind of was seeing what he left behind because he left after me. There was a fireball, a shot of fireball, one of those little things you get at the you know, maybe at the 7-Eleven, whatever. And I looked at it and I'm like, so I recorded it for Instagram. I'm like, oh my god, I want to drink this fireball. Like, I don't even drink fireball, but I could because nobody's around, right? And um, but wait a minute, I don't want to drink fireball. I don't drink anymore, so what am I gonna do? I'm just gonna like throw it away, you know, and I'm gonna eat something or go for a walk. And it was just kind of interesting though how I did have that thought that I could drink this fireball and nobody's, you know, but I would be lying to myself.
SPEAKER_04:So what's the point of that, right? I had a very similar situation like that happen maybe like six months ago, seven months ago. Um, I had a friend come stay the weekend with me at my apartment. She drinks Miller Lites, like a case of Miller Whites a day. Um, but she left and I was cleaning up after she left, and I found one. This is she had done this a couple of times, but uh, there was one Miller White in the very back of my refrigerator. And I and and I I had those same thoughts. No one would know. If I drank this, no one would know. Um, but I ended up FaceTiming someone and dumping it down the sink because I had to play play the tape all the way through, right? And understand the the consequences. And I think that the the lying aspect, I grew so tired of it because I would tell people like, yeah, I'm sober, or I'm trying to get sober, or I don't want to drink, and I would go home and and drink. And that's exhausting. I felt like a fake. I felt like my whole life was a facade, like it that's exhausting. Um uh Leonette and her husband, I'm very close with them. So I would tell them, like, yeah, I'm sober, blah, blah, blah, and then go home and get drunk. Or I never want to lie that way again. And I know that if it it whenever it's I would say, like, yeah, I've been sober 30 days, knowing damn well I drank last night, that's exhausting and it's a terrible feeling. And it's not because I'm a bad person, it's because I'm an alcoholic, right? And it's it's so freeing to be able to look the people that I love in the eyes and be like, not a drop. I haven't had a drop. And it's the first time I've ever been able to be like truly honest with myself and my loved ones. And yeah, it's it's a good feeling.
SPEAKER_00:I love so congratulations. That's so cool. It's so empowering, right? To like really know, like you're not lying, leave in a lie anymore.
SPEAKER_04:Absolutely. It was all a lie, like the it was just one big lie that I kept going, and they knew I was lying. But I but I just yeah, alcoholic.
SPEAKER_01:I'm lying. And like and the funny thing is like, we know you're lying. So I I don't even understand. Yeah, I just call around like you're lying.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, like so to stop it. I'm so close with her, I know what each of her facial expression means. So I'd be telling her, like, yeah, I've been sober for two weeks, and she's like, okay.
SPEAKER_01:You're the one that has a problem, not me.
SPEAKER_00:You ladies are true friends. It's uh it's really adorable to see. Like that's what friends are for, right? Like a real friend is gonna even stick with you, even though we know you're watching.
SPEAKER_01:We stuck with her.
SPEAKER_04:She's seen some things I'm not she's seen more than I've seen because I don't remember them.
SPEAKER_01:So that's awesome. You're I have a question about your book. So it's called Life Beyond the Binge. So I'm assuming that it's not just about alcohol. Like what other addictions do you do you like to coach on?
SPEAKER_00:I I just like to I'm an expert of my lived experience, and um, so that's what I kind of focus on. I was a binge eater um as a kid in high school. It's not something that became, you know, it kind of stopped in my 20s, so but I do remember that experience, and I know, you know, I like to help people with the emotional eating. Um but uh but binging is binging, right? It's like it's like trying to, it's it's what we do, you know, each of our own habits to make us feel better when we're uncomfortable. And it's a way we've learned to cope to make uh you know, just to make ourselves feel good. Whatever it is, if you're binge watching movies or if you're gaming or smoking pot or whatever your choice of feel good is, it's a behavior we've rely we've just come to rely on. If you're covered in the whatever doing it.
SPEAKER_04:Can you tell me what that what that means? I've I've heard binge eating and I and I truly don't understand exactly what that looks like. I know there's like binge eating, binging and purging. Um can you tell me what that looks like?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, sure. It's so it's kind of like when I when I had that problem, it was like um you just get it I can relate it to like drinking alcohol where you just get started. Like if you're eating some chips, you know, you come home from school is what I was doing, and you start snacking, right? And before you know it, you've eaten a bag of chips, and then you move on to, you know, ice cream, or you just keep eating, and it's like when you're doing it kind of unaware, you don't even really realize you're doing it until you like go, oh gosh, you know, I ate all this stuff, and then you feel terrible because you ate all this stuff, and you start all that self-talk of I have no control, or what's my problem, you know, I look fat, all these things. Um, it can lead to uh bulimia, which is where people throw up partly for that reason because they don't want to gain weight, so they're gonna go in the bathroom and throw it up. Um, or just even that throwing up can be a release because you like fill yourself up and then you empty yourself and you're kind of like, oh, it's just it's very kind of complicated. Um so the first step is just like sometimes people can't name their feelings. Like I as a teenager could not name my feelings, meaning I didn't know I was depressed, or I didn't know I was you know, whatever my feelings were. So um you know, it's getting awareness, getting help really. I mean, that's the first thing. Yeah. But a lot of us are afraid to ask for help, especially if we're doing something we're kind of ashamed of, or we're we're we think that we might get judged for, like someone might say, Well, just stop eating, what's your problem? Like just put the bag of chips down, and like, well, it's not that easy.
SPEAKER_04:I struggled with bulimia for many, many, many years. Um I would say from the time that I was 16 or 17 up until I got sober from alcohol. And I would say that's something that I worry about more so than alcohol, even still. Because it was just something that I did for so so long. And it was um I talked to a therapist about it and to try and find out why. I'm a thin, I'm a thin girl. I'm she's little, she's like 5'2. I'm like 4'11 and I'm 90 pounds.
SPEAKER_01:I always give you more images. I'm like, she's 5'2, and she's like, I'm 4'11.
SPEAKER_04:I'm 4'11. Um But my and so mine wasn't mine wasn't about the weight. I was not concerned about the weight at all. Mine started when when I was younger, I grew up in the foster care system, parents in and out of prison. I lived with different family members and stuff like that. And there was a lot of, a lot of times as a kid that I was starving, like literally starving. And then whenever I got my first job around 16, I was able to buy my own food. So I would buy my own food and I would eat it. And then I would, it was almost like subconsciously I was nervous. Like, am I when am I gonna be able to eat again? I have this food here, so I would make myself throw up so that I could eat more. And it was just, it was just, it had nothing to do with weight gain or body image or anything like that. It was all about when's my next meal gonna be. Like I need to, I I just wanted food so bad. And obviously, when you start doing that, it just becomes a thing that you do. And and that was that was another one of my addictions was food, I would say. And and the the purging part of it was very therapeutic for me. It was like I was in control of something. And that that's what my therapist and I came to the conclusion of. Um, so that yeah, that was another that was tough.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, thanks for sharing that because a lot of people aren't comfortable talking about it. Um, and it's beautiful you are, because it's very common, really, right? And I appreciate your your take on your experience because it was different than mine, but I can relate that when I was a bulimic, um, the purging was therapeutic too. And I think it's exactly as you said, the way you're saying, I never went to counseling for it, I just stopped on my own. So I never really got to get to the heart of why.
SPEAKER_04:Um do you mind me now that you're doing how long ago you stopped?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it well in my twenties, I was like 40 to yeah, and I stopped when I went commercial fishing because um it shared quarters. I didn't want anyone to see me or hear me. So I just stopped and it was um I think another reason I stopped was um I cook in the on the boat, so my eating became more uh I've I've found that I'm a person that likes to eat small amounts throughout the day. So I I think I just got uh stabilized kind of like my maybe I was missing nutrients or something, I don't know. Um, but a combination of that, I think, is why and just overall getting healthy mentally, more mentally healthy where I didn't rely on it.
SPEAKER_04:So yeah. Do you think yours was more surrounded around body image?
SPEAKER_00:Or I know you said you didn't really get to get to the heart of the problem, but it I think it was body image, and when I was a teenager, um yeah, definitely body image. So I was a small person in my family, the smallest one. And once I started getting into high school, I played soccer, I was gaining some weight, and I didn't like that. I wanted to still be the tiny little colleague that everyone always says, Oh, you're so cute, you're so little. Well, I wasn't, you know, I was starting to change, and I think that was part of it too. Got it. Yeah, definitely body image because being a certain weight is still important to me. I still maintain it. Uh so I would say it's in a healthy zone now, but I could easily I have to just monitor it, kind of like drinking, just be aware and pay attention and um just talk about it if I have to, right?
SPEAKER_04:I've struggled with that a lot too since getting sober from alcohol and and and stop the bulimia. Um but but I again I would say I struggle with that more today than I do alcohol because I got so nervous about doing it again, especially I went through a divorce and just a lot of things, uh, changes personally, which are always triggers for me. And so then I just kind of like stopped eating. I I I couldn't eat, like I had no appetite. I got down to like 89 pounds. And and so even to this day, that still makes me incredibly nervous. Um anytime I have like a big meal, I have to talk myself down or whatever. But now I'm trying to get more on the healthier side of things. Um you start you started working out. Which is great. Go to the gym with my boyfriend sometimes.
SPEAKER_01:She's like not consistently starting stage. And he he works out and she's like, I don't do the gym. We're not I said, girl, it's good for the mind. Like I love to work out, even though, yeah, yeah, even though it's hard. Yeah. I'm like, this is good for you. This is good for the spirit and the mind and the soul, all of it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's it's it's when I'm alone. Like if I'm alone and I have a big meal, I struggle with it more. If I'm with my family or I'm with my boyfriend, I don't I I would say it fades more and more every day, but it it's still it's always in the back of my mind.
SPEAKER_00:For you, and and you know, it is it is uh like baby stuff. Like you every time you talk yourself down, you're and you succeed, you're like getting there to a healthier view, right? And and even if you don't talk yourself down, think of all the times you did. So this is one of the things in Annie Grace that was kind of a big aha for me. So we like to focus on what we're not doing right, right? As human beings, especially women. So in a 30-day, she'll often say, Okay, because she doesn't start you on the program and say you have to quit drinking, it's kind of like you choose to quit when you're ready. So a lot of people join the path and they're still drinking. So the thing is, is if in 30 days you drank five times, well, that's 25 times you didn't drink. So rather than focusing on the five times you drank, focus on your progress of the 25 times you didn't. And so it's kind of a a nicer way of reframing how we're doing in life.
SPEAKER_01:I like that. I do like that because that can apply to pretty much a lot of things in our life. Yeah, I like that.
SPEAKER_04:I like that a lot. And that's almost like the opposite of AA a little bit. They're more, they count the number, they're more number-oriented, day oriented, I guess you could say. Yeah, that's uh my um Yeah, okay. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I just try to be careful of what I say.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, I see, I see, I see. I'm I'm bad at that. I'm bad at that. She just says it. She just does it. I just did it. Yeah, that was a huge struggle. It it it was um I felt like I struggled with it as much as I did alcohol, except people could see that they could see when I was drunk, right? They couldn't see whenever I was making myself throw up or overeating. They couldn't see that part. So believe me, it was easier to hide, which also I think made it more dangerous too, because it's it's so easy to do.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, but it but it's also something that you know you're doing, right? And so if it's it's like being your own, you know, you could be like, yeah, it's uh it's like done in secret. So that's kind of not a good feeling, right? Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:For sure.
SPEAKER_00:Hiding the issue, but um, but there are a lot of people struggling out there, so right? So if everyone is it's it's really common. I was so surprised when I finally set talked about it, how many girls in high school I went with. I said, Oh yeah, I used to eat and throw up. I was like, Oh, really? Oh my god, we should have had a a group back then, you know? Like, what's going on, girls? Like, what's what's happening? Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I have a scar on my hand from making myself throw up where my teeth were. It literally left it. It's it's pretty faded now, but it was did you stick your whole hand? Like yeah, it's like like that. Yeah, this was my scar. It's faded now, but it was it was bad. So I don't think I've ever noticed that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Okay.
SPEAKER_04:Well, that's because it's faded now, but it used to be really bad, and it would get chapped, and it was it's embarrassing, but it's faded.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well, congratulations on on getting where you're at, though. And I hope you figure out how if it creeps back in, how to get where you need to go.
SPEAKER_01:So I have a question. Um, I don't know if I heard it on the podcast. I listened to you on a podcast, so I don't know if I heard it there or if it's on your website. What is the 95-5? Is that a rule? Is that a method? What is that exactly?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it's something I discovered for myself that I think might be might be a common problem for people. It so when I was looking back at how I stayed stuck in my binge drinking cycle for years, I I've come to find it's kind of like a 95-5 factor. Meaning, 95% of the time when I drank, I considered myself a normal drinker. You know, I didn't always drink too much, I didn't drink every day. And even when I did binge drink or party, nothing bad happened, right? Except a hangover. Um, but the 5% I call that's where within the binge drinking, the partying side, there's a wild card. And I never knew when it was gonna flip up. Because for instance, I should be dead around six times. I've jumped in a uh river, I should have drowned, I drove home drunk. I consider that uh a possibility to die, right? Driving home drunk. I've done that a couple times. Um I fell asleep driving once. Yeah, it just goes on. There's a few other I fell off a balcony once and and should have died. Oh my goodness. Wow, at a party. I was bleeding internally and I didn't know it. Oh wow, yeah. So that's what I'm talking about, is that this is and I'm not preaching for anyone to quit drinking, and that's not my message. My message is how is the partying working for you? And just know that if you are binge drinking, there is that wild card, and it can flip over anytime. You know, you could become. I have some instances in my book, uh a gal I work with on the boat, she's 25, and the first time she drank uh was just at 25. She never really wanted to drink, but some people encouraged her, and she was like, Okay, I should go to at least try drinking once, right? So she went out with some of the girls on the boat after work and they went to a bar, and she remembers the last drink she took, she was on the dance floor dancing with her friends, and she blacked out. And that's something we haven't talked about yet, but she blacked out and she wakes up in the morning on the boat, because we when we work shipyard, we stay on the boat, so she was sleeping on the boat, and she doesn't remember anything past that last drink. She's still drunk, right, in the morning. Uh she goes to work. The boss at the time tells her, Go back to bed and don't show your face, because he should fire her, right? Um, because you're not supposed to be drinking while you're contracted on the shipyard. But um, so her friends tell her that they left the bar and these two guys approached them and offered to give her a ride home. And everyone was kind of drunk, right? Her friends were drunk too, but not as drunk as she was. And they're saying, No, no, no, we got her, and the guys are saying, Oh, she's hard to hold up. And anyways, they're trying to pull her away from their friends, and they have like this shock of something that they are going they want to try to put in her arm. They're like fighting over her name's Maria. Yeah, they're like fighting over Maria on the street, and the girls tug her away and and just split, and then the guys just kind of backed off and let it be. But um, so then they drove back to the boat. They were drunk too, they probably shouldn't have been driving, but nobody got hurt, nobody got a DUI. I mean, she could have been thrown in trafficking.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, for sure. That's the first thing I thought of when you said that. That's it. That's amazing. Wow.
SPEAKER_00:Me too. And if her friends had left her, she would have been oh yeah, who knows what. Oh yeah. Right? So this is these are this is what I'm talking about, and this has been my experiences. I talk about I talk about kind of the tame ones, but I have a lot of really crazy ones. But um, and and that's just what I'm talking about in the binge drinking cycle.
SPEAKER_01:I think I've gone through a period of that. If I'm if if now that I understand what the binge drinking, what that looks like, oh heck yeah. In my in my 20s for sure. For sure. And I might be, I should be dead too a few times, actually. Did it? Now that we're talking about it, I'm like, I should be dead a few times.
SPEAKER_04:What do you mean?
SPEAKER_01:Like you went down binge drinking? Oh yeah, of course. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Did you ever nerve were were you ever worried you had a problem?
SPEAKER_01:Um yeah, maybe like yeah, I would say the next day. Yeah, definitely the next day. It's like, Lord, I will never do this again.
SPEAKER_04:Because I've known her, I've known her for like 15 years, something crazy. Oh my gosh. And but I've never seen you slop like drunk.
SPEAKER_01:I think I stopped being sloppy drunk like mid-30s.
SPEAKER_04:I've seen you drunk, but I've never envyed. I've always envied her for that because we would have we would have parties here at the house and I would be on a different planet. And she she's always able to but also you're a lot younger than me.
SPEAKER_01:I've had my time, I've had my time just. If you ask people that were like there at the time, they would say, Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah. Dang. So I need to I need to dig into some of those stories at some point.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you know, you just don't know when to stop. Yeah. So yeah. And like like you said, Colleen, like I didn't drink every day. But when I did, I went balls to the wall, that's for sure. You know, I just went all out. So um, I don't know. I think just growing and then you just get tired of it. Yeah. And then I just I and it's like how Colleen is saying, like you kind of I I I say it's pep talks, like you walk yourself through it and it's like, but why? Like why? And then you just get tired. So now I know. I mean, I drink, uh I do like to drink, but I am more aware of when to stop. Like, okay, it's time to stop and it's okay.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah, you're always you're always very um classy when you drink. I'm very chasing.
SPEAKER_01:You caught me on my classy, my class air.
SPEAKER_00:As you get older too, it's it's kind of less acceptable. Yeah. Kind of the the partying kind of slows down like that. It does.
SPEAKER_01:For sure. It does. Like you get tired of it for some of us.
SPEAKER_04:Um I have a question for you, Colleen. Now that you've been sober for almost five years, right? Um do you find yourself like hyper-vigilant of people, other people in your life? Like I f I find now, like the the further sober I get, I find um that when people are what I think to be maybe abusing alcohol or maybe going around going down the same sort of path I did. I want to like, I wanna help them. I'm I'm very um hyper aware of it and I want to help them. And I'm like, okay, I can't help anybody. I know for a fact, if love could have got me sober, I'd have been sober a long time ago, right? So I know for a fact that nobody's ready until they're ready. But I I struggle with that sometimes. I just want to like fix everybody. I'm like, no, you don't understand how good the sober side of life is, you know. So do you find yourself in that same situation ever?
SPEAKER_00:Um I feel like like you, yes, we cannot change anyone else, right? And so it it for me it's sad to see like yes, being on the other side, you're like, oh my god, I was so duped. I duped myself for years that I needed alcohol. And so I would love to just shout that from the top of the roof. Like, you know, we don't need to drink to have fun, right? Um, but also we all have our own journey in life of what it is we need to learn, and sometimes other people's experiences are what they need to get to wherever they need to go. And so um, I just try to be an example. Uh I don't waste my time anymore, that's for sure. Like I don't want to hang around if the party is turning a different level, I leave, you know. It's just um and I'm always happy I'm not drunk too, right? 'Cause I'm gonna wake up and work out or whatever. Uh and I know they probably aren't. Yeah. So um I just think it's uh so nice to finally be for me in my life of being intentional with my time and who I want to spend it with. I don't I don't really want to waste time anymore with people that I don't want to be with or situations or anything really. I mean, time is so valuable.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:I used to waste a lot of it drunk and hung over.
SPEAKER_04:Me too. Yeah. I used to watch TV. I would be laying on the couch, either drunk or hung over, and I would watch TV. And I I remember so vividly it it one time I was like, I want to be normal. Like I want to be able they were like out eating at a restaurant. I couldn't go out to eat at a restaurant right now if I wanted to, because I my anxiety is so bad, I'm sweating, I'm nauseous, my head hurts. Like, and so oh I I I I thank God I never have to feel that way ever again. But I have a family member who I think might be struggling a little bit with some alcoholism, and she's she's young, she's only two years older than me. Um, my my older sister, and um, she called me two nights ago, and like I don't know if she remembers calling me or what, but I I just felt so sad. I just felt so sad because I know what that feels like, and um it wasn't a normal, like, hey girl, I had a couple drinks tonight, it's a holiday. It it's become a pretty common thing. And um she a black eye on her face and stuff like that. So I'm like, I I want to jump in and be like, wait, you don't have to do this, or or let me try to help you. But I also know number one, I've I've only been sober a year and a half, so I don't think that I'm like the sobriety guru or anything like that. But um, and I know that people aren't ready until they're ready. But I was just curious if you had any advice.
SPEAKER_00:Don't diminish it, my dear. Your year and a half is a huge deal. Thank you. You really are, thank you. And you are, I I would look to you as a uh someone who really has a lot to share and a lot of experience, and you really can make an impact for a lot of people. Because, like I I have a question, how did you stop? Because your style of drinking was totally different than mine, and it sounds like a really hard shift.
SPEAKER_04:It was. Um, I have two children. I've got a 13-year-old son and I've got a two and a half-year-old son. So as much as I'd like to sit here and say, I I did it for my kids, I did it for my kids, um, that was a part of the reason, yes. But I just I got fucking tired, to be honest. I was drinking and I've gone to detox probably five or six times, like facility detox. I've been 1013, which is a mandatory suicide hold. Um, I've gone to like an actual rehab three times? Three times.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, you've yeah.
SPEAKER_04:So I I I tried, but never because I want to try. They were telling me, or my kids, or you know, my ex-husband, whatever the case may be.
SPEAKER_01:It was never and so I um I think the last I feel like it was the the last time you went to to rehab. Detox, yes. You went down to Florida. And I drank after that. I I know, but I think after that, after you came back and drank, I don't know what happened, but you were just like I like it was like an instant like shift.
SPEAKER_04:I don't think I was in a a terrible marriage, a very, very abusive marriage. Um and I I I wanted to get out of that marriage. I wanted to get out of that situation. I ended up divorcing him, was still drinking even after my divorce, and I just felt like the smallest human in the world. I um ended up going on a girls' trip, got wasted drunk, like turned away at the airport and came home drunk, drank on the plane, drank in the Uber on the way home, like just drunk, drunk, drunk. And I came home and I couldn't see my kids because I was too drunk to see them. And um I woke up the next day. My mom actually came to my apartment and I woke up the next day and I I I just lost it. I was born, I was like, I genuinely for real this time. I can't do this shit anymore. I'm done. I'm done. So she ended up taking me to a detox center in Dunwoody, and I was there for five days. Um and I literally, when I would go to detox and rehab before, I would do all the classes and all the AA meetings and everything. I was like the superstar AA girly up in there. This time, I just I stayed to myself. I I just stayed in my room. I would go to the classes that I that were mandatory that I had to go to. I just stayed to myself. I prayed. I wrote letters to to her, her husband's like a father and me to I consider them my parents. I wrote letters to my parents, I wrote letters to my kids, I wrote letters to my ex-husband. And for those five days, I I I don't know. I I truly don't know. I just I knew I couldn't continue. I knew that that I wanted more out of life, and it was debilitating. Alcoholism for me was debilitating because I couldn't function. There are several alcoholics who can who can completely function or get up and go to work. I cannot function. So my whole life, that's a stretch, my drinking life was literally just laid up in bed sick as a dog or blacked out. And I just I was exhausted. So I prayed a lot.
SPEAKER_01:And we were praying for you too. Yes, I know you were. At that moment, I remember your mom calling, and um normally I'm like, I drop what I do and either go get the boys or go figure her out. And I told her mom, I was like, I I can't do this anymore. Like it's been years of doing this and coming to her rescue, and I'm tired and I have kids and I have a life, and it was like I think nine o'clock at night. I'm like, I'm not doing that because I know it's gonna go into the morning and I'm just like, I I I can't. So you guys gotta figure this out. Like, and you know, she's like, I know, I get it, I get it. And so I guess that's when she found your you know the detox place. But yeah, like at some point you were gonna just lose everybody and it was gonna force you to either just continue alone or make some changes. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And I and and and truly like I feel like I um I shit on myself a lot for alcoholism and and um the my upbringing and things like that, but I really do feel like I'm a strong woman and I feel like I have a purpose, right? I feel like um I just I want more. I'm meant to do more, I'm meant to be more, and I could never do that if I was drinking. And I just got to a point where I was like, I want more for myself, I want more for my kids, I want to fall in love one day. There were so many things I wanted to do, and I knew I couldn't accomplish it unless I got sober. And now that I'm sober and all of these wonderful things have happened, and it's truly like everything that I wish for, not everything, but a lot of things that I've wished for have come to fruition. And it's it's I I was telling my dad the other day, um, because I have someone else in my life who came to me asking me for advice, and I was telling him the other day, I'm like, it's it's actually insane being sober and looking back at the way I used to live and how I'm like, I don't know how I survived it. I I should have been dead. Absolutely. Like the last time I went to detox, I was having to take shots on the hour drive to detox because they were telling me like her heart will stop. I would drink, I don't know how much I I I would drink every single bit that I could. Like I've had seizures, I've been hospitalized. It's it, yeah. It I there was no boundary for me.
SPEAKER_00:Your story sounds kind of similar to a gal I've met in the podcasting circle, Gina Kunandian, and her podcast is called A Shine Within. And she had it has a story similar to you. You're like a younger version. You guys have a lot in common. I really should check her out. Yeah, think about checking her out if you have a chat. A shine within. She's just really a beautiful human being, and you really the same kind of um vibe.
SPEAKER_01:I would love well, and I always tell her, like, because she is very hard on herself. And I just feel like God uses us in so many ways. And even in our darkest moments when we think we're like just worthless, like He's gonna use that, and and you're gonna be able to touch other people and uh guide other people because you've been there, like you're not you know, you've been there, you've done that, and and you can say, I know exactly what you're going through. Yeah. And so I just think he's gonna use you in those ways and and just when you're when that negativity comes in, just remind yourself like I have a story and he's gonna use it even for for his glory. So that's yeah.
SPEAKER_04:I would eventually love to help other people. That would that would be a huge goal of mine. Um not usually. You are great. You're showing up.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you. I I would I would love to eventually how do you think that would look for you? Like honestly This one's told me for years and years and years. Even like before I got sober, she's always told me, like, you're you're you're gonna help people, like I feel it, you have a purpose. Um, I never felt that. And even to this day, it wasn't strong. But honestly, when when I had someone come to me and say, Hey, I think I might have a drinking problem, like, and try and get advice for me, I was like, Holy shit, somebody is getting advice from me about drinking. And that kind of sparked something within me. And and and that like frustrating is not the right adjective, but that feeling of wanting to shake them and be like, wait a second, there is life is so much better without it. Not for everyone, right? Because there are people who can drink in a very healthy way. And and but for the people who aren't able to, like, I literally want to shake, I wanted to shake her and be like, just please stop now. You you don't have to live this way, whatever. Obviously, that's not the way it works. Um, but that sparked something in within me where I'm like, I I I don't know what it would look like. I don't know if it's just helping random people or friends of friends or getting into coaching. Um I I I honestly I don't know. I don't know.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you don't have to spend thousands to go through a program to be a good coach. I learned that. So I just wanted to share that with you because I think when we're inspired like this, like I was, I spent a lot of money and I don't regret it. I am just saying that you have a lot of strength and confidence, but we we just have and I do, I just had to believe it. So I spent a lot of money going through these programs so people could tell me I was ready when I've been ready for a long time. I just had to believe it. Right. So as Lynette's telling you, and it's in you, it's and in in you and in me, we just have to believe it. Right. Right.
SPEAKER_04:I think like if I if if I were truly to think about that question in my perfect world, like motivational speaking, that would be something. I can totally love to do that.
SPEAKER_01:I can totally see you doing that.
SPEAKER_04:That would be something I would love to do at like high schools or you know, whatever, whatever the case may be.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, well, you know what? We have to stay in touch because that's who I want to reach with my book.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And um, so my this girl I was telling me about, the younger gal, um, she's gonna, we're gonna go together. I've already told her she's Hispanic. I said, we're gonna, you know, they want to hear from you, they don't want to hear from this old lady, so I need you on stage with me. Oh, I love nice. Yeah, so we have to stay in touch because my 2026 is morphing from coaching into speaking. And um, so where where are you guys located? Atlanta.
SPEAKER_01:We're in Georgia.
SPEAKER_00:Atlanta, yeah. Okay, are you still in C? I was wanted to go to Georgia, so maybe we'll have. To get something lined up for your schools in Georgia.
SPEAKER_04:Are you still in Seattle? I am, but I like Seattle. Oh, you do?
SPEAKER_00:Okay, come to Seattle. We have a spare bedroom. It's wide open for you, girls. You both have to come, okay. I love it. I would love to.
SPEAKER_01:I would love to.
SPEAKER_04:Seattle's on my list of places I really want to go.
SPEAKER_01:So are you? This is so cool. Yeah. So when your book comes out in May, is this what you're trying to do? Is like, you know, go to high schools and younger uh audiences to share your book and your wisdom.
SPEAKER_00:Yes. It's great. It's really to make an impact. It's when my late husband died after he after I went through all my grieving and all the stages you go through after suicide. Um I made a promise to him that I would do something. And I thought it was volunteer for the 988 Hotline, Suicide Hotline, but it's turned into this. And it's it's really cool when we find our purpose. And I realized that like you were saying, all our struggles when we get to the other side, they're they're they're meant to have happened, really. I can't help people without having gone through my struggles.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And and I'm passionate about it because I I know what the struggle's like and um and I wanted help. Yeah. I love that. So yeah, it's um so yeah, in answer to your question, 2026 is looking like a lot of speaking, more writing, because I really do like to write and getting on podcasts. So thank you for saying yes.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, no, thank you for reaching out. I just always love to talk like this, like talk openly and honestly about our struggles and about what we're going through. Cause a lot of times as women, we just want to put it like, you know, suppress. Yeah, suppress and put it all inside and act like we're handling everything. And when you start talking vulnerably and and open and authentically, then you realize, wow, I'm not doing this by myself. I'm not living this life by myself. And I just love when people are just authentic. Because it does, it helps everybody when you just speak truth.
SPEAKER_00:And it yeah, and especially with suicide. Like when I I went to this on a uh vacation with some women, and we were talking, and I talked about my late husband's death by suicide. So we started talking about suicide, and it's amazing how many people will tell me, just not hardly even knowing me, their experience with either suicide or I've thought of killing myself, or and it just brings up really like real conversations about serious stuff, you know, that you're like, wow, I'm so sad you were in that place. Like you're not alone. Yeah. There's a lot of other people with the same thing going on, and it doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means we need to help each other. Yeah, we need to help each other.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, we do, we do. Yeah. I love it. Well, Colleen, I I thank you so much. Is there anything that you want to share? Anything else about the book, about your message?
SPEAKER_00:No, I just hope you know your listeners have fun listening and gain something from it. I'm, you know, I'm I'm doing this for impact and it's my passion. So the way the universe works is things will flow. And I I am, I do keep my promise. So when uh you guys haven't, this isn't the last you're gonna hear from it.
SPEAKER_01:No, I love it.
SPEAKER_00:Girls trip 20 years. I am serious. No, we're serious too. We'll be there dead soon. I will be there. Okay, well, we'll have to get a meeting together past this. I love it. Thank you. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01:I'll leave you with this. You're so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back, marvel at your life, at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that wisened you, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grow. Be proud of this. Thank you so much for listening to Virago247. If you haven't done so already, go ahead and hit that subscribe button and please give us five-star ratings. Also, don't forget to follow us on Instagram at Virago24 underscore seven and on Facebook at Virago247. And just connect with us and share your story. We'd love to hear from you.
