Julie and Jim talk About Co-Parenting,Blending Families, Putting The Kids First And None Of Us Are Perfect

     Slam the Gavel welcomes Julie and Jim on the show to talk about successful co-parenting strategies that have worked for their blended families. Julie and Jim discussed how things were in the beginning when their children came together and all was going well and smoothly, but when they became engaged to be married the relationships with the children themselves and with their new additional parent became rocky. 
     Advice from Julie and Jim was extremely insightful as well as helpful.  They explained that it was hard for their children to share their father and/or their mother, and how important it was for them to listen to their children. Children have their fears, Julie explained as she and her girls moved into Jim's house with his two children. Jim's children felt threatened that a new family was moving in their home and how would this affect their relationship with their father. Would they still have time with him or pay more attention to the new additions to the family? How would their new step-mother treat them?  Sometimes the kids think that they can't talk to their parent and feel lost.  It is very hard on the kids when they go back and forth between houses when all these changes are taking place.
     Jim advised to be supportive to the children, level-headed and remain calm at all times. Also when the ex's remarry, be as positive and supportive of their marriages and not to say anything negative, because the kids will  begin to build up resentment and placing blame onto the new parent. They both stated that it would not be good for the kids if negativity reigned.
   Julie cautioned to not let words from the other parent upset you and not to take it personally, even from the child. Be loving and neutral as you can be and let the other parent handle a situation and not to interfere or put the kids in the middle.
     Jim added that the Step-Parent  should take a step back, yet be supportive to the Step-Parent as they ease into the blended family. It is very important to pay attention to your own children and that the family doesn't have to do everything all the time and to give the children some time to themselves. This is a fine balance.
    The most important thing Julie and Jim added was not to badmouth the ex in front of the kids. Kids feel the stress when that is happening and may act out in various ways, such as cutting. Also , Julie recommended Counseling/Therapy for the kids going through this transition and if harsh words are spoken to quickly, to apologize explaining that you can do the best that you can. Mistakes will be made and every parent is human  while trying to help their children adjust to a blended family.
    Julie and Jim are very proud of their children now that they are adults and very productive individuals to society with a good work ethic.  It was very important to them both that the children had a relationship with their grandparents and extended family members.
     Ending the podcast, Julie has said that, "Love always wins."

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