My Inner Torch
My Inner Torch offers direct and personal insight with help for those of us in a relationship with someone who is undiagnosed/diagnosed with a Cluster B Personality Disorder. This is a safe place to come for words of inspiration that draw from my personal experiences and is produced to gain understanding and to find direction as we navigate through the often difficult relationships with those we love who suffer with a Cluster B personality disorder that includes BPD and NPD. PLEASE NOTE: This podcast is NOT for those who suffer with these disorders. This podcast is for survivors of these challenging and difficult relationships.
My Inner Torch
NEW PODCAST: "I'm not OK!"
🎯 Key Takeaways
Core Points:
- I acknowledge that it’s okay to admit “I’m not okay” when facing emotional abuse. Ignoring the problem leads to my self-erasure.
- I recognize the signs of emotional abuse: gaslighting, silent treatment, control disguised as affection.
- I understand that minimizing or rationalizing abuse is not self-protection; it’s self-destruction.
- I give myself permission to grieve, be angry, and feel the full range of emotions.
- I know that healing begins with awareness and acknowledging the truth of my situation, not necessarily immediate action.
- I will listen to my inner voice; it holds the truth I’ve been suppressing.
🔍 Summary
The Impact of Emotional Abuse
I open this podcast by sharing my personal struggle—a long-term relationship marked by emotional abuse. I reveal my history of minimizing the abusive behavior, rationalizing it as quirks or temporary issues. This normalization, I explain, is akin to living in a war zone and attributing the trauma to normality. I emphasize that ignoring abuse is not a form of self-protection but leads to my self-erasure, a gradual loss of self due to constantly adapting to the abuser’s needs.
Recognizing the Signs and Breaking the Cycle
I detail the various forms of emotional abuse I experienced: the silent treatment, gaslighting, and affection laced with control. These behaviors, I argue, are not love but a form of survival. Prolonged survival mode leads to a loss of hope for joy, and a desperate clinging to the illusion of peace. I urge listeners to recognize the signs and reject the idea that this is normal or acceptable.
The Power of Self-Acknowledgment and Healing
The core message of my story is the simple statement: “I’m not okay.” I suggest this admission is the crucial first step towards healing. It’s about accepting the reality of my situation, acknowledging the abuse, and permitting myself to feel the resulting anger and grief. I counter the instinct to minimize, rationalize, and avoid confronting the abuse. Healing, I contend, starts with awareness, not necessarily with immediately leaving the abusive relationship. Leaving without internal healing often leads to a return to the toxic cycle.
Finding My Inner Voice and Embracing a New Journey
My final message encourages listeners to listen to their inner voice, the one whispering the truth they have been ignoring. This voice, I assert, represents my “inner torch,” a source of truth and strength that has been dimmed by denial. Allowing that inner voice to shine is the beginning of becoming whole, the first step on a new path toward healing.