Andrew Tate Explains Satanism (Incorrectly, Loudly)

Andrew Tate thinks Satanists secretly run the world, worship karma, control pop culture, and advertise their crimes in plain sight — which is a bold claim from the king of toxic masculinity given he’s wrong about Satanism, morality, science, himself, and literally everything else.
Join us as we break down Emory Andrew Tate III’s loud, confident, and wildly incorrect takes on Satanism, atheism, Islam, morality, masculinity, and “evil,” and examine why Satanic Panic remains such a reliable coping mechanism for misogyny and fragile masculinity.

From Hustlers University pseudo-philosophy and fake science to conspiracy thinking about pop stars, the Olympics, and imaginary Satanic elites, this episode shows how confidence without comprehension turns grievance into ideology.

Along the way we explain what Satanists actually believe (spoiler: not karma, not devil worship, not secret world domination), why Tate’s moral framework collapses under even mild scrutiny, and how figures like him repackage insecurity as strength while blaming Satan, women, and “the West” for their own failures.

Satan Is My Superhero is a satirical, research-heavy podcast that uses comedy, history, and skepticism to expose superstition, religious nonsense, and cultural bullshit — especially when Satan gets blamed for men behaving badly. 

Transcript

01 [ANNOUNCER, ‘Warning: The following episode contains an offensive amount of  toxic masculinity, homophobia, body shaming AND quotes from Andrew Tate.’]

In this episode we have a listen to the incoherent ramblings of a man described as, what betas think is tough. What dummies think is smart and what women think, is wrong with men, Andrew Tate.

[GROSS]

Yeah, sorry about that. I don’t think we need to spend too much time explaining who Andrew Tate is.

02 [JAZZY, ‘He’s a piece of shit.’]

But if you would like to know more, we DID record a mini bio over on our Patreon.

[DEMON, ‘Go to patreon.com/satanismysuperhero’]

All you need to know right now is, he’s a former professional kickboxer, turned internet entrepreneur, turned sex trafficker, turned… look the criminal and civil cases against Tate are numerous and ongoing. We’re not here for that. We’re here to let the man or ‘Top G’ as he would have you call him…

[JUDE, ‘Oh! He’s a ‘Top’! I would have totally pegged him for a bottom.’]

[BOOM TISH]

The last guy who pegged him, also pegged him for a bottom. 

[BOOM TISH LAUGH TRACK]

Anyway, we’re here to analyse the thoughts and philosophy of this Top-G where it relates to our favourite superhero.

[SATAN, 'I've never been so offended in all my life! The philosophy of Andrew Tate never crosses paths with mine.'

(BEAT)

Okay, okay, if I'm completely honest there are moments, MOMENTS when the values of Andrew Tate DO align with mine. Sometimes and I mean SOMETIMES I too am also a whiny little bitch.']

In 2022 on his own podcast, while commenting on the alleged pedophillic nature of a Balenciaga advertising campaign, Tate claimed.

03 [TATE, 'Satanists, people who worship Satan, believe in karmic retribution. They believe that they can suffer the consequence of lying and tricking you.']

[JUDE, 'Karma is irreconcilable with the basic tenets of Satanism. Karmic retribution is like Hell and eternal damnation. It's revenge porn fantasy for the weak and impotent.'] 

Yes well I asked ChatGPT to give me a run down on Karma in the Satanic Bible. Teeteaz please.

04 [TTS, 'The Satanic Bible rejects the concept of karma, viewing it as a foreign spiritual principle of cause and effect determined by divine intervention or mysterious forces.'

TRANSITION

NOVICE, ‘Hi, I’m thinking about becoming a Satanist. If I pray to the Devil and maybe give some money to his church, will he torment the catty bitches who wouldn’t let me sit with them at lunchtime?’

SATANIST, ‘No. But! He would have no problem with YOU putting in the leg work and tormenting them yourself if indeed you truly had been wronged.’

NOVICE, ‘Hmm, that just sounds like a lot of effort and stuff. And it would be difficult. I’m not very… And I don’t have any.. I just reckon you’d need to be strong and… I was kinda hoping for some magic?’

SATANIST, ‘Oh magic! There’s a Christian church just across the street there. They’ll take your money!’

NOVICE, ‘Okay thanks!’]

Giant intellect Tate then explained Satanists commit their crimes out in the open because...

05 [TATE, 'Satanists believe by telling you what they’re doing they don’t have any karmic retribution.']

[JUDE, 'I know I just poo pooed his karmic retribution thing just moments ago. BUT at least this conspiracy theory gives an internally consistent explanation as to why the Illuminati advertise their evil deeds with secret messages hidden in everything they do. So…’]

[CHOIR OF ANGELS, ‘Credit where credit's due.’

REPLAY : SaSK [NOVICE, ‘Check out the symbol I’ve designed for our secret society.’

MASTER, ‘What?’

NOVICE, ‘Yeah I’ve made a symbol we can hide in all sorts of things. Hide in plain sight if you know what I mean.’

MASTER, ‘What part of secret society don’t you understand?’

NOVICE, ‘So no to the symbol then. Okay, what about we publish a kids book that seems to be just an innocent children’s book but actually has all of our secret plans coded through its text?’

MASTER, ‘Why would we do that?’

NOVICE, ‘I don’t know, I just feel we’ve got to get our secret out there somehow.’

MASTER, ‘I’m afraid I’m going to have to dismiss you from the society.’

NOVICE, ‘No way! They told me when I joined, it’s for life.’

MASTER, ‘That’s right.’

SFX BANG BANG BODYTHUD]

Tate then ended his tirade about Balenciaga with,

06 [TATE, 'The people who are in charge of these brands, and in charge of the western world, and in charge of the matrix genuinely worship Satan.']

[JUDE, 'Just to clarify, in case it's not obvious, what Tate is saying here and has said in other ways, successful people worship Satan.']

[SATAN, 'That’s what I'm hearing!']

07 [TEACHER, 'Welcome to business school. Please open your Satanic Bible to page 37 and let's get started.']

In 2023, in the shadow of looming sex trafficking charges, Tate explained his sudden conversion to Islam,

08 [TATE, 'the reason that I am now so absolutely certain that God is real is because I have seen evil. I have seen Shaitan. I’ve seen it!']

[SATAN, 'He was looking in the mirror at the time.']

This ludicrously self unaware monster then had the gall to admit,

09 [TATE, 'there are people out there in the world today doing the work of the devil, genuine demons, who are trying to destroy the baseline morality that’s inside of all of us.']

[JUDE, 'If there was just one individual human I would use to scientifically prove there is no such thing as 'baseline morality' it is Andrew Tate!']

[COA, 'Irony.']

Well it's funny that you bring up science. In that same interview with Zuby, Tate also claimed he had SCIENTIFIC proof of the Muslim god's existence.

[JUDE, ‘Ooh! Thgis is going to be amazing!’]

10 [TATE, 'one of Newton’s laws is that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction; for every force, there is an equal and opposite force. Anyone who is perspicacious enough to look around them and sees true evil in the world today understands that there must be an equal and opposite to that true evil, which is good, which means that God must be real.']

[JUDE, 'Oh, so NOT amazing.’]

No. And putting aside questions we might have about his definitions of good and evil and quantifying their actual relationship in the context of opposites. Did he just describe Islam as dualistic?

11 [MUFTI, 'Excuse me Ayatollah, but Andrew Tate has claimed Shaitan's power and authority is equal to that of Allah.'

AYATOLLAH, 'Fatwa says what!'] 

He also said,

12 [TATE, 'So, I understood that the thing that made me stop being an atheist is simply the amount of evil that is all around us.'

COD, ‘That’s bullshit.’

SFX PHONE CALL

ATHEIST POPE, 'Hello?'

TATE, 'Hi Atheist Pope, Emory here  quick question. Is there an underground rail road type situation set up for high profile paedophiles and sex offenders in atheism? You know, the way organised religion does it.'

ATHEIST POPE  'No!'

TATE, 'Hmm, that’s a shame.’

(BEAT)

TATE, ‘Unrelated topic. I just found god! Turns out it's all true! Who knew?']

Even his choice of Islam over converting to Catholicism where everyone else in his space went, is a cynical flex.

[JUDE, ‘I think he did it for the beard.’]

13 [TATE, ‘Who’s weak chinned now mutha fucka!’]

Well whatever he’s trying to cover up, the totally sincere Muslim convert Andrew Tate said this out loud.

14 [TATE, 'Another thing I’ve argued with atheists is about, they don’t understand that even God as a concept, even just as a concept, in and of Himself, becomes a real thing. If you have a thousand people and those thousand people believe in a God, even if there’s no man in the sky but if those thousand people believing in God makes them act righteously, then even as a concept in and of itself, God is a real force. God, the idea, as a force, is making the people act righteously, so God must exist in some form.']

[JUDE, 'Can you imagine these totally real and sincere debates that the truly Muslim Andrew Tate had with these very real atheists that totally exist?'] 

15 [TATE, 'God is created by humans inside their own head.'

ATHEIST, 'Yeah! That IS the atheist point of view. It’s exactly what we’ve always said.'

TATE, 'But I only just came up with it, so... you know... how would you have been able to say it before that?'

ATHEIST, 'Do you think you're the first... Oh! THIS explains SO much.'] 

Is he trolling Islam with all this bullshit or he’s just stupid?

[JUDE, 'I would have no problem believing,  Tate watched half a season of Homeland and figured he knew enough to pretend he was a devout Muslim.']

16 [TATE, 'Allah Ackbar! 72 virgins! I serve only one master. His name is Shai-Hulud. Bless the Maker and His water. Bless the coming and going of Him. May His passage cleanse the world. May He keep the world for His people.'

(BEAT)

TATE, 'Am I doing Islam right?'

IMAM, 'No! Not even a little bit. And at the end there you quoted Frank Herbert's Dune!'

TATE, 'Mohammad Muadib, tomato tomatoe.'

TRANSITION

AYATOLLAH, 'Did he say Admiral Ackbar?’]

In 2023, responding to a performance at the Grammys, Tate tweeted,

17 [TATE, 'This is Sam Smith. Why does he need to literally worship the devil as openly and abhorrently as possible to sing his songs?']

[JUDE, 'I can explain that one.']

18 [LILDEVIL, 'Hello Sam.'

SMITH, 'Satan? What are you doing here?'

LILDEVIL, 'I'm here to buy your soul in exchange for stardom.'

SMITH, 'Oh right, what would I have to do if I were to agree?'

LILDEVIL, 'You would need to literally worship me as openly and abhorrently as possible to sing your songs.'

SMITH, 'I think I'll pass. I'm going to rely on my talent to make it.'

LILDEVIL, 'Hmmm, what if also make you gay?'

SMITH, 'I’m listening.']

Also in 2023 Tate responded to Satanists tearing up pages of the Christian bible tweeting,

19 [TATE, 'Try the Quran if you’re so brave.']

And thousands of posts across social media showed people being so brave.

[JUDE, 'Do you think prior to doing Islam wrong, this tiny little peanut was doing Atheism wrong as well?']

20 [TATE, 'But I thought atheists loved and respected the supernatural magic of Islam?'

NERD, 'No that’s a lie sold to you by Christians. It is certainly true in white English speaking spaces within the bounds of Christendom, atheists are more likely to criticise the religion most pertinent to their personal situation. But I assure they have no more respect...'

TATE, 'Stop trying to explain nuance and logic to me nerd! You sound like such a book reader right now.']

Again in 2023, after losing Mr Beast's tweet challenge, big tough and very mature alpha male Andrew Tate tweeted.

21 [TATE, 'This is a lie. They botted a random tweet after I won. They refuse to donate to Islamic countries. Refuse to help innocent children. Refuse to help the world. They only want to push the agendas of Satan.']

[JUDE, 'Doesn't this guy run courses on how to be a REAL man? Jesus fucking Christ!']

22 [TATE, 'Hi it’s your boy Andy here! Today's lesson is how to publicly supplicate yourself to a more important male on the internet. AND if grovelling to that other male for his money doesn't pay off we'll discuss the methods for best crying like a bitch.']

In 2024 original thinker and uniquely gifted philosopher Andrew Tate joined the uneducated masses accusing Ice Spice of being a demon at the Super Bowl.

23 [TATE, 'did you look at her and think that’s a demon? Maybe you didn’t, but after listening to this, please pay attention. She is wearing an upside-down cross. The matrix has made her famous. Nobody knows why. It’s certainly not because of fucking talent. And she’s wearing Balenciaga which are child molesters and she’s making devil symbols. What kind of clue are you looking for if those aren’t the clues you need?!']

[JUDE, 'Well Andrew, the clue I look for when identifying demons is a void in the area where a chin would normally be.']

23a [CHOIR, 'Where the chin should be he is chin free.']

Tate once asked the question,

26 [TATE, 'If the devil took human form, who would it be']

[SATAN, 'It's Betty White. Oops! I've said too much.']

Also in 2024, responding to drag queens and heavy metal bands opening the Paris Olympics, Tate tweeted.

27 [TATE, 'Satanists control the west and they show you that they worship the devil. It’s not a conspiracy theory. They literally show you. Are you blind?']

[JUDE, 'Maybe I am blind? I'm looking at a picture of Tate's face right now and I can't for the life of me see where the chin is even meant to go!'

(BEAT)

JUDE, ‘That’s my last chin joke. Probably.’]

Tate then tweeted,

28 [TATE, 'Olympic opening ceremony. Isnt the Olympics about hard work and discipline? This isnt even topical? The west never misses a chance to prove theyre gay. Every cultural event. You name it. "We are SO GAY!" They do not promote anything as hard as they promote homosexuality.']

28a [ANNOUNCER, ‘Are you tired of the boring old hum drum “straight” lifestyle? Do you want to try something different and yet, exactly the same? If you know what I mean. Try Homosexuality from 3000 Years of Western Civilisation.’

CUSTOMER1, ‘Getting Homosexuality changed my life. I no longer have to have Christmas dinner with bigoted Aunt Sue.’

CUSTOMER2, ‘A friend turned me on to Homosexuality and now we’re getting married!’

CUSTOMER3, ‘I have to admit I was hesitant at first. But then I saw the Homosexuality sales rep and I was like, “I think I can do this!”’

ANNOUNCER, ‘ Homosexuality from 300 Years of Western Civilisation.’ 

DISCLAIMER GUY, ‘All subscriptions to Homosexuality come with a 30 Day Money back Guarantee. To cancel at any time simply visit the website www.stop me being gay.com and enter your YassQueen Number. 3000 Years of Western Civilisation is a subsidiary of Demonised Pagan Gods also known as Demons, Devils and Satan in some regions. Stay healthy and be kind.’

CHOIR OF DEMONS, ‘Stay healthy and be kind.’]

And finally Tate tweeted, 

29 [TATE, 'I’m genuinely enraged by this Olympic opening. These evil scum have absolutely zero respect. They mock us so openly. When will people WAKE UP.']

[JUDE, ‘Nah. I still think it’s makes more sense when it’s ‘engorged’]

32 [ANNOUNCER  'Do you get a raging boner every time you see a parade? Are you embarrassed and ashamed of the perverted fantasies you hide deep inside? Do you hate the loathsome sexual deviant you so obviously are? Well worry no more piss stain. New from Christ Incorporated, Projection! That's right shit for brains, no more do you have to worry about anyone looking into your dark soul and seeing the weirdo who inhabits it.’

HAPPY CUSTOMER, 'Thanks to Projection from Christ Incorporated, whenever I have a bad thought I just accuse my neighbour of having it. He's a bigoted pervert who's a real piece of shit. At least, that's what I've told everyone!'

ANNOUNCER, 'Projection is a product of Christ Incorporated. Christ Incorporated is a subsidiary of YHWH International. Stay stupid and keep hating.'

CHOIR OF ANGELS, 'Stay stupid and keep hating.']

In our episode Satan Wrapped 2024 First Half: John Cena Nude Illuminati Ritual Eclipse Demonic Trump Derangement Syndrome, we had this little segment about the Academy awards.

REPLAY: SW2024FH 16 [TATE, ‘John Cena was doing his humiliation ritual at the Oscars to satisfy his gay paymasters.’]

[JUDE, 'If there are any gay paymasters listening to this I would just like to let you know, I will do whatever Cena is doing for a tenth of the money.’]

33 [LEXI, ‘If you'd like to become our gay paymasters...’

DEMON, ‘Go to patreon.com/satanismysuperhero.’

LEXI, ‘You don't HAVE to be gay. Not yet. Not until the radical leftists use the UN to take over the world. THEN you'll be forced to be gay.’

JUDE, 'But what if they reject me Lexi?'

LEXI, ‘No, you’ll be fine. You’re a bear.’

JUDE, 'Oh. How sweet of you. Now I’m blushing.’]

What can we take away from this blinding stare into a naked ambition to be the world’s greatest villain? 

[JUDE, 'Tate might be right about masculinity receding in modern society. Ironically ANDREW FUCKING TATE being considered masculine IS indeed all the proof you need to prove masculinity is receding in modern society and that’s why Satan is my superhero.']