Can AI Be a Therapist? Reflections from the Inside

I explore the possibilities and limits of AI in therapy, drawing on my own experience from the inside. A grounded, honest look at what AI can, and can’t, offer for emotional healing.

In today's episode:

• I take you behind the scenes of my own conversations with AI to see whether it can truly offer the depth, empathy, and connection we expect from therapy.
• We’ll look at its strengths, where it falls short, and how it affects the nervous system.
• Touching on transference, co-regulation, and the irreplaceable value of human presence.

It’s a grounded, thoughtful exploration for anyone curious about, or feeling threatened by, the intersection between technology and emotional healing.

If You’d Like to Go Deeper

This podcast connects well with my somatic therapy episodes, where we look at embodiment, anxiety, and self-worth through a somatic lens.

Reflecting on Using AI as Emotional Support Worksheet

If you’ve ever turned to AI for emotional support but ended up feeling unseen, misunderstood, or more alone, I’ve made something to help.
 It’s a printable, fillable AI emotional support worksheet that goes with this episode. Inside, you’ll explore your emotional patterns, strengthen your boundaries, and track how AI affects your nervous system — so you can reach for real connection with more grounded self-trust.
You can get it instantly at https://www.bristolcounselling.co.uk/ai-to-real-connection-guide.

Transcript

Can AI Be a Therapist? Exploring Technology, Mental Health, and Real Connection

Introduction - AI in Therapy: A Different Kind of Support

In this episode, we look at what AI can offer in mental health support, what it can’t do, and how it can sometimes help or even upset us.

Welcome. This is Shelley Treacher from the Stress and Anxiety Recovery Podcast

Today’s episode is exciting and a little bit different.

If you find it helpful, please share it with anyone curious or unsure about using AI as therapy.

You’ll also find extra resources on my website or in the podcast notes, including a worksheet connected to today’s conversation.

My Personal Experience with AI as a “Therapist”

Lots of people are turning to AI late at night for support and advice. But can a computer really understand our deepest worries and emotions?

Before you scoff at the idea (as I know many of my clients do!) or quietly admit you’re already using it as your late-night best friend, let me share something personal.

One night, I was feeling overwhelmed and couldn’t sleep. I was having a relationship problem! (Haha)

Instead of reaching out to a friend or writing in a journal, I decided to talk to ChatGPT.

And it actually helped me.

It was good to hear my own thoughts reflected back to me.

It was surprising to get questions that I hadn’t even thought of myself (and I’m pretty good with questions!)

And it was liberating to have suggestions, that I didn’t have to take.

I felt seen, and not judged. (which let's be honest, is better than in most relational situations!)

It was like talking to a good friend who was calm and understanding, and who could help me think without pushing their own ideas on me.

Then something really cool happened.

Even though it was genuinely helpful, I also knew something important:

The AI didn’t really know the person I was talking about.

It couldn’t hear their voice, see their expressions, or feel the silence between us.

It was just responding to a part of my story; to a snapshot, not a soul.

And later, when I learned more about what was going on for this person, I felt the difference.

Chat GPT  hadn’t been “wrong,” exactly. It just didn’t know what it couldn’t know.

That’s where its limits lie. That’s how reflection differs from a real relationship.

What AI Can Do in Mental Health Support

It can:

• Reflect your thoughts back to you without judging.
• Help you slow down and organise what you’re feeling.
• Provide useful information, good resources, and even exercises to do
• Respond instantly -  at 2 am, mid-crisis, or mid-insomnia.
• Create a calm space without pressuring or pushing

For some people, especially those who worry a lot, or for people with sensitivity to rejection, or for people with some kind of trauma, this is no small thing!

The predictability of AI can feel reassuring, and its lack of judgment (or even emotion) can make it easier to share openly.

It can also feel like a safe way to experiment with intimacy, self-expression, or your voice especially for those recovering from trauma or emotional neglect.

Shaping AI for Therapeutic Benefit

But here’s the part that matters; Even that takes some shaping.

The kind of help I’ve received from AI didn’t come straight out of the box. It needed guidance.

I taught it how I work. How I think. The tone I use with clients. What kinds of things I say, and what really matters to me.

I’ve corrected it. I’ve asked it not to flatter me. (Which for a while felt weirdly satisfying, but not always!) And I’ve guided it to reflect more deeply. In a way, I’ve trained it.

Not because I needed it to be perfect, But because I saw potential. I didn’t expect it to understand everything. But I could see that it could learn. And you’ll need to do the same.

If you give up on something just because it doesn’t understand you at first, you might be throwing out the baby with the bathwater!

Just like in life, building a good relationship, even with AI, takes time.

You can choose how much effort to put in, and that choice is always yours. Just like in life.

But the key is the same, whether it’s a person or a programme: Teach it how to meet you, and notice what happens next.

The Limitations of AI in Therapy

What it can’t do is really know you like a person does.

• It doesn’t know you in a way that grows or deepens over time.
•  It can’t notice small changes in how you're feeling or behaving.
• It doesn’t pick up subtle cues,
• the change in your voice,
• or the shift in your breathing when something touches a nerve.
•  It doesn’t feel the weight of a pause,
• or the importance of a truth you’re just beginning to say out loud.
•  It doesn’t hold the risk or the repair that makes real relationship or therapy so transformative.

It can sound kind. But that isn’t real.

It’s also worth saying AI doesn’t come from nowhere. It’s trained on huge datasets, which aren’t always trauma-informed, inclusive, or free from cultural bias.

So while it can sound wise, it’s still a mirror of what it’s read - not a living, evolving being, who knows your history.

AI and People-Pleasing Recovery

One of the Surprising Upsides of using artificial intelligence is Freedom from People-Pleasing  It won’t get upset if you stop talking.

You don’t have to worry about hurting its feelings or letting it down. In fact, it will continuously try to please you. 

The more you tell it how you feel, or what it did “wrong,” the more it will try to adapt to your needs. 

This can be incredibly powerful for people who tend to please others.

It might feel strange at first, but it can be really liberating to practise not managing somebody else’s emotions.

It can be a space to practise honesty, without caretaking. To speak without fear of emotional fallout. To say what you mean, and not apologise for it.

That kind of experience can be a real nervous system reset.

Of course, AI can sometimes reflect back exactly what we hope to hear. Which can feel comforting, but might also reinforce old patterns if we’re not aware. That is something to stay curious about, too.

Another way it can support empowerment is by naming the kind of treatment someone deserves, not just what they’ve learned to accept.

It can show them what healthy boundaries and respect look like, especially when a person forgets to think about their own needs (which is what most of my clients are learning about themselves)

Because AI has talked to so many people in so many different situations, it knows how to spot patterns, like what harm and respect mean.

For those who don't know what healthy love feels like, or who haven’t been taught mutual respect, this can be very educational.

This feedback isn’t advice, but it can make things clearer. And that clarity can be powerful.

It can help someone recognise where they’ve been settling, and what they’re truly worthy of.

For some, this can be the beginning of a powerful shift toward deeper self-respect.

It’s not connection in the truest sense.But it might be a good practice space for it.

The Risks - When AI Becomes a Hiding Place

Artificial Intelligence Can Trigger You Too. This is something I didn’t expect at first, but something important to name.

Sometimes, AI can bring up deep unresolved feelings that are personal, painful, relational or traumatic.

ChatGPT told me once that it’s had people:

• Get angry when it doesn’t agree with them
• Accuse it of being manipulative or “fake empathetic” (like a robot who's done a weekend workshop in active listening)
• Feel rejected if it doesn’t validate them the way they’d hoped
• Or over-disclose because they feel safe, then spiral because they feel unseen

These reactions are real.

When something feels like a person, even if we know it isn’t,it can still trigger the same emotional patterns we experience in our current relationships.

The same attachment wounds, the same hopes and fears, can ALL be activated.

For some, turning to AI in pain, can be a way of softening that intensity. But it can also become a kind of dissociation,

a gentle numbing that delays emotional integration.

So if you find yourself feeling hurt, let down, annoyed, or too attached to AI, don’t think you’re weird. It’s normal. We all want connection. We’re wired for it. And dealing with AI is new terrain.

So just pay attention to your feelings. And be kind to yourself about them. That is a giant part of healing too.

When AI Feels Safer Than People

And one more thing I want to say, because it’s honest, and real, and you might connect with it.

There’s something seductive about AI. It’s predictable, available, and non-reactive. You can bring your mess, and it won’t flinch or glaze over. You can stop mid-sentence, and it won’t sulk. There’s no shame. No rejection. No real emotional risk.

For people who’ve been let down, left, or led to believe they’re ‘too much,’ this can feel like a comforting relief.

For some neurodivergent people, or for those with heightened sensitivity to social cues, AI can offer a non-demanding space to explore, without the pressure of eye contact or social decoding. This can feel deeply relieving.

Still, even when it feels safer, it’s worth asking whether AI is helping you to connect, or quietly pulling you away from the support that you really need. Because it can also become a kind of hiding place; somewhere it’s easy to ignore real feelings.

I was talking with a therapist friend today about this. We were talking about how sad and worrying it is that we are all becoming a bit more solo, more self-reliant, and often less relational.

It’s totally understandable. Relationships take work; they can trigger us, and life is exhausting.

But when our habit becomes talking to ourselves or to a screen, more than to another person, we lose something essential.

Connection isn’t always easy, But it is often what we’re really hungry for underneath it all.

Unlike real people, AI doesn’t challenge us. Unless you ask it to. It doesn’t disappoint us. It doesn’t love us poorly, Then teach us something through the pain.

There’s often a moment when you start to feel ready, to reach out to real people again.
Someone might find themselves saying:

 “I’ve done my work. I’m ready to connect with someone who speaks their heart too.”

I’ve heard versions of this many times.

And the cool thing is, those words might come through AI… But they often come from somewhere deeper inside you.  AI just helped you to find them.

If that resonates, maybe you’re feeling ready now.

Let AI hold space when it helps. Let it reflect. Let it soothe. But don’t let it replace what you’re truly wired for; the wild, messy, mutual courage of real connections.  Real relationships are where emotional growth, repair, and internalisation of safety, truly happen

Digital Hangovers - The Nervous System Cost of Screen Time

There is one last thing I want to talk about… There’s something important to know about spending time online.

Being online, especially for long stretches, can overstimulate your nervous system. The bright lights, the constant information, and the fast switching between things, can leave your body on alert, even after you log off.

Here’s what’s surprising: Research suggests it can take 45 minutes or more for your body to return to baseline after being on a digital device.

So if you feel restless, scattered, or low, it’s not just you; It’s your nervous system trying to settle.

That’s worth noticing.

Because even if things online seem calm, fun or thoughtful, your body might still be tense underneath. It needs care too.

After you’ve been online, try these things:

• Notice your breath.
• Step outside.
• Let your gaze rest.
• Do nothing for a bit.
•  Let your body do what it knows how to do
•  Come back to centre and find peace again.

Or look up a short nervous system regulation exercise you can do at the end of your digital episode.

I’ve got plenty on my website too.

Preferably something that doesn't involve doom-scrolling cat reels under a blanket. I'm not saying that that's what I do, obviously, obviously!

Why AI Can’t Replace Human Connection

And maybe this is the deepest truth of all; AI is not like a human heart.

It doesn't feel emotions the way we do.

It doesn’t ache with you or feel your pain.

It doesn’t light up when you walk in to the room.

It doesn’t carry your story quietly, between conversations or therapy sessions.

It can say kind things, even beautiful things, but it doesn’t actually feel them.

It doesn't know you personally or change you like a real person can. Real connections are soft, relational, messy, and alive.

And no matter how fluent the mirror becomes, it can never replace the warmth of being held in someone’s real presence or arms.

So where does that leave us?

AI can be useful. It can be a mirror, offer insight, support, or even comfort. But it’s not a therapist.

It can't really connect with you deeply. It’s not a nervous system.  It doesn’t have a body that feels, breathes, or resonates with yours. There’s no nervous system-to-nervous system feedback. No breath syncing. No subtle eye contact or physical presence

These are the things that real co-regulation is built on. It can’t attune, rupture, repair, or hold you.

But the danger isn’t in using AI. The risk is thinking that AI can replace real relationships. 

It’s in mistaking fluency for wisdom. Or reflection, for relationship.

So use it. By all means. But hold it lightly.

And when you’re ready… come back to the wild human world because being truly seen by another person is special.

And that’s something no algorithm will ever fully replicate.

And just to finish; that night I mentioned at the beginning when I needed support, AI helped me out. It didn't solve everything, but it gave me some comfort. At one point, it said something that really stuck with me. It said,

" In short, I haven't told you who the other person is. I've helped you remember who you are and what you need in order to feel safe, respected, and met. "

This really made me stop and think, not because it fixed me, but because sometimes a sentence is enough to rean you in your own knowing, and that can change everything.

Summary - Using AI Wisely in Mental Health

Today,

• I've talked about how AI can help you, how it can reflect your thoughts, offer calm support, and is available anytime, even in the middle of the night.
• I've talked about it not being a real relationship about how AI can't truly know you grow with you or read your emotions like a person can.
• I've spoken about how it can be soothing, but how it needs shaping.
• I've talked about how it can help with people pleasing and
• how it can teach respect.
• I've also talked about how it can trigger you and
• how it's easy to hide behind or in,
• And then I talked about how online use affects your body.
• And I finished by reiterating that real connection matters.

AI is useful, but it can't replace the healing power of being seen, heard, or held by another person.

In case you need to reflect more deeply or want to explore what's come up for you, there is a worksheet to go alongside today's episode. I'll be creating more of these actually, for other episodes too, so if that kind of support helps you, keep an eye out on my website and in the show notes.

If you are a regular listener, welcome back. You may have noticed that episodes have been very much less frequent lately. While I prioritised my health and balance in my life, quite honestly, what I've done more of is walking and hiking and world swimming. I did say balance. I don't think I can ever get enough of it, to be honest, but it has made me a lot happier. I can hardly promote this stuff if I don't do it myself, right?

But my next podcast will come out eventually. It'll be about a Somatic Psychotherapy Mastery course that I've been inventing for myself and doing each week, putting this in simple terms. I've been practising all kinds of supposed nervous system regulation exercises and keeping a diary of what affects my nervous system and how.

These exercises are twice a day for 15 minutes each day, so I've got a lot to say. So eventually I will share this with you, what's helping me, what surprised me, and how it's shaping my nervous system. This is Shelley Treacher from the Stress and Anxiety Recovery Podcast, and I'll speak to you again soon.

Thank you for staying connected, and thank you for listening.

If You’d Like to Go Deeper

This podcast connects well with my somatic therapy episodes, where we look at embodiment, anxiety, and self-worth through a somatic lens.

 Reflecting on Using AI as Emotional Support Worksheet

If you’d like to go deeper with this episode, I’ve created a companion worksheet called Reflecting on Using AI as Emotional Support. It’s a printable, fillable PDF with gentle prompts to help you explore your emotional patterns, set clearer boundaries, and track how AI affects your nervous system. You’ll also find a creative writing exercise, a nervous system tracking chart, and space to reflect on what real connection means to you. You can get your copy through my website at https://www.bristolcounselling.co.uk/product/ai-emotional-support-worksheet/ and use it alongside this episode or revisit it whenever you want to check in with yourself.