OVEREATING EXPLAINED - "Why Can't I Stop Eating?"

Today, I'm taking you back to the beginning. This is a revamp of my first podcast:  'Are you a Comfort Eater?' I share with you some questions that will help you to think about what binge-eating, overeating, comfort eating are for you.

I also help you understand why it’s HARD to stop eating. It’s not just a matter of willpower, to be able to stop overeating. There’s A LOT more to it than that. So, today, as we prepare for the massive 'treat' food intake that is Christmas, I’ll explain what you need to know, to start to get a handle on your overeating.

Your next podcast: How Do I Stop Self-Criticism?

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[Music] hi this is underground confidence with shelley treacher today i'm going to continue with the revamp of my earliest podcast today i'm going to talk about how to understand that the reason you can't stop eating has emotion behind it but first i want to start to tackle something i hear people say a lot people who are frustrated with themselves for not being able to stop eating often characterize themselves as lazy this pains me when i hear it because i hear the tone of voice that they use when they make this judgment it's often utterly scathing and frustrated so i want to start by explaining my take on laziness and comfort eating first of all i think it's vital to start to change this tone of voice from one of deep disdain for yourself to one of curiosity and compassion[Music] this is something you'll hear me encourage you to do frequently have a check on what it would be like if you started asking what is it that makes me want to be lazy i'm putting lazy and inverted commas here what is it that makes you want to sit on the sofa and eat rather than do anything else instead of i'm such a lazy cow all i can do is eat what the hell is wrong with me can you see the difference there one encourages exploration and so then possibly understanding while the other is soon gonna lead to self-hatred and angry eating this is very destructive so i'm asking you to stop and to notice how you talk to yourself it makes a huge difference laziness as far as i understand it is something that we as humans have a natural propensity towards all of us we apparently want to conserve energy for anything but survival or pleasure so just bear that in mind next time you call yourself lazy or assume that someone else is judging you to be that that laziness is actually more often than not an avoidance of some kind an avoidance of discomfort of some kind which brings us beautifully onto today's podcast how can you start discovering what's emotional about your eating or any state altering habit which could include anything from alcohol to scrolling to shopping or even cereal dating you've got to start asking what is the discomfort behind your comfort eating or comfort habits it can be obvious so for example if someone criticizes you and you feel angry and you don't know what to do about it you might find yourself eating the whole cake but it can also be more subtle such as in lockdown when we were bored we might have found ourselves going to the fridge all the time because we just really didn't have anything better to do my experience is that boredom is a little bit deeper than just being bored there's something more going on for many of us that hides a whole range of different feelings that are hard to admit or know what to do with in lockdown for example most of us were traumatized we had to endure massive changes felt isolated or stuck in with the same people and lost a great deal it's been a hell of an adjustment and it still is actually so there are many different feelings that could be provoked that lie behind general overeating or the eating many of us did in lockdown and in this british stiff upper lip culture we are not particularly good at knowing what to do with our feelings so we're eating my aim is to get you used to starting to think about what you're actually doing and why because this is the key to change so here are some questions you can ask to help you to start to understand what's going on for you when is it that you overeat is it late at night when you finish work is it when you're alone when you're bored stressed tired or is it when you visit a certain relative when is it that you habitually binge or overeat spend some time thinking about this number two think of a recent time when you went more than you wanted to what was happening just before what were you actually thinking how are you feeling were you thinking thoughts like this i don't care i don't like myself anyway i'll be fat anyway i might as well eat this now because i've got the food i've got to finish it then maybe tomorrow i won't buy anymore i'll start the diet tomorrow or were you trying to treat yourself give yourself some kind of reward for a difficult day did you have this thought i deserve this or i'm happy so i want to do what i like surely that is treating myself well what were you thinking this will make me happy again spend some time on these questions just work out bit by bit what was going on for you that you never noticed number three what would actually happen if you didn't go to the fridge or snack cupboard all day what kind of feelings would you be left with if you did this the answer i usually get to this is that you would have an overwhelming all-pervasive maybe even raging desire to eat this is the most common thing that i hear so you're not alone if this is how you feel but what i want you to start asking yourself is so what what's the worst thing that could actually happen this is where you really start to understand that it's discomfort that causes you to eat having answered these questions can you see that it's possible that your eating might be in response to some emotion so what i'm asking you to do is to start understanding what your discomfort is how far back it goes and then to find other ways to manage that discomfort that's what this podcast is all about i'm now going to give you a summary of what i've talked about today first of all i talked about how calling yourself lazy is unhelpful self-criticism i then gave you three ways to start identifying the emotion behind your comfort eating firstly by asking when it is that you come for eat then by asking what you were feeling and thinking before you overate and lastly i asked you what you would be left with if you didn't comfort eat to be able to stop overeating you need to understand what's going on for you you need to find a place of compassion for that a place of self-hatred is a very poor place to give up comfort eating frankly it's not going to happen from there but from a place of genuine self-respect and with education on how to manage feelings differently it is possible to choose not to overeat that's what i'll be talking about more in the episodes to come thank you so much for listening for more help or if you want to go further with this check out my latest programs i'd also really love to hear any questions or comments that you may have[Music] this is shelley treacher from underground confidence i'll see you on wednesday if not before thank you so much for listening[Music]