the Selfish Mom Podcast

Crunchy Mom & Wellness Burnout: is there even a balance between the crunchy lifestyle & just wanting to keep yourself and kids healthy & protected?

• Ali Kay • Season 2 • Episode 1

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Ever feel like the quest for the perfect holistic lifestyle is running you ragged? You're not alone. I, Ali Kay, share my story of wellness fatigue, likening it to the moment you find out Santa Claus isn't real. Join me on this episode as we navigate the complex world of self-care for moms in 2025, where putting ourselves first isn't selfish—it's essential. We'll explore the recent U.S. ban on red dye and the growing influence of the food industry and pharmaceuticals, all while trying to find harmony between holistic ideals and the realities of motherhood.

As I recount my journey from cold plunges and saunas to supplements, inspired by influencers like Lauren Bostick and podcasts like Skinny Confidential and Huberman Lab, I reveal how modern medicine has a necessary place in my life. After my third child and ongoing health issues, I realized the extreme approach wasn't sustainable. Listen as I discuss the challenges of raising kids in a holistic environment and the importance of balance. Let’s redefine self-care together, creating a sustainable lifestyle that benefits us and our families without sacrificing our sanity.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Selfish Mom Podcast, a podcast for you, so you don't get burnt out like a mother. I'm your host, allie Kay, and this is the Selfish Mom Podcast. Learn to prioritize your mental and physical health first, so we can thrive and not just survive. Let's take action, become our best selves together and redefine selfish as the most selfless thing we could do.

Speaker 2:

It's a new year, guys. We moms, this is our year. This is our year to wake up, to stop living on autopilot, to grab 2025 by the testicles and start living intentionally. If you are someone who wants to prioritize or maybe start prioritizing their mental health, their physical health, your spiritual health, you know, start putting yourself first. Make you the priority so that you can give your best self to your kids, your family, to your work, to those around you, because, again, going back to that oxygen mask on the airplane, you have to put it on yourself first in order to save other people around you. So, welcome back to the Selfish Mom Podcast. I will be dropping episodes every single week this season.

Speaker 2:

I've decided I'm going to jump in to everything I have been struggling as a mom, which you're probably struggling with too, and that goes from parenting, that goes from what the heck do I do when my kids are struggling in school. You know, do I medicate my kids or do I not medicate my kids? How do I start living a holistic lifestyle without driving myself insane? You know, all these topics we're going to have professionals on this podcast. This podcast is for you, it's for theie mom. So since the election, we have heard a lot about our health. In America from Robert Kennedy, we have talked about the dyes in our food. That has become like a mainstream thing. Actually, today I am recording this episode a couple of days before I drop it. Red dye has been officially banned in the United States, which is wild because it has been banned over in Europe. But if you know, in Europe they have an incentive to keep their people healthy because the healthcare is on their dime. People healthy because the healthcare is on their dime. You know they pay for it, whereas in America we know that the pharmaceuticals have a field day with us and they really do target our kids.

Speaker 2:

And I feel like more of us moms have woken up to this. You know, whether you have been doing this for years and really fighting it, or you kind of just started to become aware of it and really fighting it, or you kind of just started to become aware of it, I feel like we're all on the same page. Whether, whatever background we have beliefs, values, I feel like as moms, we all have the same value that we want the best for our kids. You know we want the best for the health of our kids, for our kids' mind. You know their bodies and so I think that, no matter where we come from, what we believe in, I do think that we all share that value. We want the best for our kids.

Speaker 2:

And so I want to talk a little bit about the crunchy mom because I am truly right now going through a healthy lifestyle burnout, like a wellness fatigue. I don't even know if this is like a real thing. I have just kind of labeled this but I'll tell you a little bit of like what I'm going through and also kind of tap into that holistic, you know, crunchy mom, and kind of ask you or discuss a little bit is if there is a balance to the scrunchie or to the crunchy mom. So I just said scrunchie mom and that's kind of what I've labeled myself. So let me just go over like what the definitions of these moms are and of course these are all like societal things. You know we love to put people and things in a box and I'm not labeling this, I'm just. You know you might have characteristics of this or you might not, but let's talk about it.

Speaker 2:

So a crunchy mom is defined as a mother who practices a natural, holistic lifestyle and parenting style that avoids modern medicine, technology and processed foods, so that's kind of like an extreme. I think there's always like an extreme of things. You know there's that funny, it's a little bit of satire the crunchy mom. She's on TikTok and Instagram. Her content is so great you should go look her up. She's hilarious. She really taps into like the extreme crunchy mom. But then there's people that might just be like tapping into it, like, yes, they turn to a holistic medicine, yes, they vaccine, vaccinate their kids, you know, but you know there's there's just a little bit of each. And then there's kind of like the middle people that are really trying to become the extremes. You know there's there's just a wide range of it.

Speaker 2:

I kind of want to tell my backstory of my experience as a crunchy mom, if you may, and how it has led me to feeling completely burnt the F out, and I share this story because I don't want you guys to go down this like deep dark hole and feel the way I have felt the past year and just feeling like frustrated. I honestly like a way I can describe how I've been feeling lately is like finding out Santa Claus isn't real. That's how I feel, like you know, when you have like these beliefs and these values and all of a sudden something tests them and what you have believed is kind of uncovered, like that wizard of Oz. Like all of a sudden you realize the wizard isn't real. That's kind of how I've been feeling with the holistic lifestyle. So buckle up, let me share my story and then let's talk about if there really is a balance between the crunchy mom and just being a mom who wants the best for their kids. So you guys know, in 2020, if you have been following me for a while or you just started tuning in so 2020 was like a big year for me.

Speaker 2:

That was like a turning point in my life. I had my second son in 2018 and I had my first son in 2013. Now this is important to know that I had my son early. You know it was early on. I was 24 and this was right before Instagram was becoming what Instagram was. So, as a first time mom and a young mom, I didn't really have any influence or anyone like in the mom space that I can truly look up to.

Speaker 2:

And I know like, if you've experienced being a first time mom, it's hard to find mom friends right away because I well, at least for me, I really found mom friends when my kids entered school. You know, then you're more exposed to, like, birthday parties and you're seeing the same people and all the things. But, like as a first time mom and just having a baby and a toddler, you know you're not really exposed to a lot of moms that you can connect to, even if, like your kid goes to daycare, you're just dropping them off and picking them up, you know. So, as a first time mom, I didn't have the influence or the role models or you know, just people that I could see their lifestyle as a mom and be like, ooh, I like I want to start living my life like that. There was none of that and I think it slowly started happening over the years, obviously, and so when I had my second son in 2018, I think this was prime social media and this was the beginning of TikTok.

Speaker 2:

Now, if you're not on TikTok, no worries, but TikTok is really just real and raw. You know you go on there and you share real things and for me, I feel like I really found my community as far as like watching, because you can really see inside people's lives on TikTok. So, you know, moms do these vlogs and, of course, like, some things are fake, some things are real. Take it as a grain of salt, but I just feel like, as someone, I was exposed to more of these different lifestyles that you could live as a mom and I was just starting to become the healthiest version of myself. I really, really connected with wanting to be the best version of myself. That's why my first podcast was called Invest your Best with Allie Kay, which is now the Selfish Mom podcast, and if you want to go listen to all those podcasts, I did go back and listen. I have so many great podcasts on there and you can see that I was definitely tapping into that holistic lifestyle, how the gut and the brain are connected. I had food psychologists on. We talked about supplements. We talked about foods and chemicals and the products there's so many episodes Hormones. So I was definitely in this space and I still am. But back to my story. I want to share why I'm still burnt out. So, 2020 and on, I am like in the holistic lifestyle.

Speaker 2:

Anything Lauren Bostick said on the Skinny Confidential I started integrating in my life. I mean, I had a cold plunge, I had a sauna, I was taping my mouth, I was taking every Symbotica supplement you could possibly think of. This was back in like 2021. You know it's funny because now these things are kind of becoming mainstream. But you know, if you listen to like Huberman, if you have listened to Rogan and Mylet, you know skinny, confidential, like these people have been talking about this for years. They're they're really like the the pioneers of this space, you know. So I was in it. You know I listened to Huberman episodes every week like highly recommend, but I was going down this like deep, deep hole and what I have found so fast forward.

Speaker 2:

I have my third son and if you have listened to my story, the past two years, two and a half years postpartum, I have felt like crap, complete crap, and I truly believe that it does take two years, two and a half years postpartum, to feel like yourself again, you know, to feel better mentally, physically, spiritually, to have things balance and regulate in your body from hormones, to just being like that individual person again. You know you might not be nursing anymore. You know it's just. It takes time to heal postpartum in all areas of your life, even just getting back into the rhythm of the routine, and I've given myself grace these past two years, you know, thinking that I I just wanted to just give myself grace and figure out what was going on, so I blamed a lot of that on postpartum. Now we also moved. We moved from a house to a rental and I also thought, hey, this is probably. I probably have been feeling this way because we moved.

Speaker 2:

I have been feeling scattered brain, I forget things. My anxiety has been very high. I've had gut problems, physical problems and overall my blood work is all out of whack. I have been testing my blood work every couple weeks, like six weeks, and then we did a couple months in between, but every time I go back from my blood work it is all whack and it's getting worse. I even did the extreme of the carnivore diet because I truly believe you know your mind and your body can heal your body. You know your physical body, your gut is your second brain, like. I truly believe all this. So I'm like I'm going to get to the root of all of this holistically.

Speaker 2:

But I have been so frustrated because I've been living this holistic lifestyle. Like I said, I've taken all the supplements. I've gotten all those products, household products out of my house, Like just being so extreme, where my family even was making fun of me. They would say, oh, that's for the devil, like anything I'd be like no, you can't have that. My family says, oh, that's for the devil, like everything was for the devil. My family would joke about because I'd say, no, we can't have this, we can't have this, you can't have that. You know, I was so extreme and it could be a dark place. It can be a very dark place because you feel very out of control.

Speaker 2:

And another thing is raising kids Like. My oldest son is 11. I can't restrict him from everything. You know it was a big deal. He could never have red dye, which luckily, early on he himself made the connection with red dye. One time he had it, I think at a birthday party or something, and he was psycho, he was crazy. This was like three or four years old and you know we right away I knew this was red dye because I was so like extreme with my first son. You know it was like what he had was extreme, just so he was not exposed to any of that stuff. So when he did have red dye we could directly correlate his behavior to red dye and from then on out we made that connection Like, buddy, do you like this way you're feeling? You know, do you have? Can you control your body? You're wiggling a lot. Like he learned that association, like that connection with red dye and not being able to control his body and his behavior. So luckily he made that connection early on. Now this is firstborn child. It's very easy to control that environment, you know. But now with three kids, I have an 11 year old. You know he's going out and doing things.

Speaker 2:

I've kind of backed off because I was driving myself crazy Like, oh my gosh, my kids are having this and they're they're getting Skittles in kindergarten, like the teachers are passing out Skittles. Like I was driving myself insane because the reality is I can't control all this stuff and I was doing all the holistic things you know, spent thousands and thousands of dollars on supplements. You guys know I move my body every single day, like doing all the right things and my blood work and my health and my mind were still whack. That is why I'm frustrated. And another thing is I don't go to the doctor, I go to a functional medicine doctor. I have been like brainwashed in a sense where, like, modern medicine is the devil, and I hate to say that, because I've definitely shifted my perspective, because I've truly had to rely on modern medicine lately, which I thought I would never do. But the thing is is like I believed that that holistic lifestyle was everything and I was driving myself crazy.

Speaker 2:

And also it was really hard to just navigate that with your kids. You know, when you restrict things with your kids, they don't like they want it more. So as far as like the parenting side of things, I think I have stepped back a lot now. My middle son is really sensitive with, like, environmental products and household products and stuff. So you know I'm more strict upon that because he is so sensitive.

Speaker 2:

But as far as like food wise, my goal and I'll just give the example of soda, like my son just started drinking soda this year. He's 11, like not always allowed to have soda more. Like he can have it on a special occasion. We don't have it in our house but I'm allowing it because I want him to help navigate this. I also want him to make that connection. Like right now he wants to do well in the mile race, so we talked about it like, hey, these are the foods that fuel you, these are the things like soda and that sweet tea that might slow you down a little bit. So let's focus on foods that fuel your body and even with my six-year-old he's getting it. He's like mom, does this food make me faster? He's making those connections. So I really pulled back and I had to because I was driving myself effing crazy as a mom to just help my kids navigate, navigate this and not be so like extreme about it. You know, I still believe like my kids shouldn't have sugar all the time, but if they do have sugar it's going to be okay.

Speaker 2:

Now, as far as like glyphosate in the bread and the pesticides and you know, the food products and cereals, I don't really buy that stuff in the house. You know, I think there really are alternatives where you can do your research. You're not breaking the bank. There are brands out there. You might have to order from iHerb or just Thrive to get those products, but I think it's doable. Like once you find a balance. Like for me, I order probably the same groceries every week, so I really learned the brands that I, you know, gravitate towards. Another thing I've tried to cook a little more, you know so, but I was getting to the point where, like anything in plastic, I like it was almost like OCD, if you may.

Speaker 2:

So I do feel like I'm a recovering addict from the holistic lifestyle. Like I'm a recovering addict from the holistic lifestyle and I've kind of just stepped back and I'm going to just start just observing more. I have friends that again are like in this space of the holistic lifestyle and some of like what they do is extreme and in other areas it's not extreme. So that's why I feel like, is there a balance? Yes, kind of. And I think the balance is like the scrunchie mom, which the scrunchie mom is like yeah, you are drawn to the holistic lifestyle, you integrate it in your life. You want to protect your kids from you know harmful products, red dye, you know the cereals, but you might get Botox, you know your kids might drink soda now and then you might have sugar in your house. Like there has to be a balance because unfortunately, all these things are everywhere and that's again why I have been feeling burnt out.

Speaker 2:

Going back to why I feel burnt out too, I think in the back of my head I'm just going to like openly raw, share this, but I think in the back of my mind I know that my body is probably fighting my breast implants. I have done a lot of research on this. Women have shared their stories with me and I just think that breast implant illness might be something that I've been dealing with. Now, from my understanding, I am going to have a doctor on the show who talks about this. He is the breast implant illness doctor on Instagram. Can't wait to have him on the show. But he talks about, like, breast implant illness. It's not like a actual medical diagnosis yet, but it's basically your body just fighting inflammation and I think that has been contributing a lot to like my brain fog. I couldn't lose the last 10 pounds. You know I was scattered brain gut issues. You know your gut and your brain are connected. So I think my body is just constantly fighting this inflammation and I think in order to to help me get rid of this is by removing my breast implants. It sounds simple, but one I'm in a little bit of denial because I like my breast implants. I love the way they look. My body is wrecked from having kids and that's like my one saving grace. And another thing is like go look up a breast implant or explant. It's really expensive and I know, if you're like me, the past year financially it has been a little bit of a struggle, you know. So that has definitely been on the end of the list of things I can potentially do one day, because it's just not the priority right now, especially financially.

Speaker 2:

So I've had to turn to modern medicine. I am taking some prescription medication, like one I got on thyroid medicine before. I was like heck, no, I will never get on thyroid medicine, because if you get on a thyroid medicine then your thyroid becomes lazy, you know, and it stops working. But I have really, you know, I started taking thyroid medicines. I'm starting to take testosterone that was prescribed to me. I am doing the injections of testosterone and I'll talk about this more over another episode. And I'm also taking a medication for my liver. Well, it's it's actually a supplement, it's glutathione, but it's like a prescribed glutathione. So I am doing different things and I'll talk more about it. But my point is I definitely had have have integrated modern medicine into my life and it's not the end of the world medicine into my life, and it's not the end of the world.

Speaker 2:

So I kind of just say this with like it's okay if you're not this extreme holistic crunchy mom, like your friends are and like everyone is leaning towards. I promise you you're going to get burnt out and there there might be a balance that you can find. I think we all have those things that bother us that we really control, which I know like one of my friends is sugar. You know she will not allow her kids to have sugar, and that's good. My thing was soda. My other friends was, um gluten, like she's gluten free. You know there's like there's little things that you kind of can control and that's like your holistic thing and that's, that's all good. You know we all have our beliefs and our values. But I just want to say that it's okay, if you're not this extreme holistic crunchy mom, you can join my club of being a scrunchie mom and you know, maybe not having processed food in your house, but on the weekends you order a pizza. You know, welcome to the scrunchie mom club. It's okay. You know we're good. So that's my spiel. Is there a balance? Yeah, I think the balance is a scrunchie mom and at the end of the day you can go down a dark hole. Don't drive yourself effing crazy Like I did and have like mental effing crazy like I did and have like mental breakdowns and just become honestly like OCD. I honestly feel like I am in recovery. I am a recovering holistic crunchy mom who has burnt the F out. So I am just giving this as like motivation, inspiration. You aren't alone If you're going effing crazy. There might be a balance. Welcome to the scrunchie mom club and it's going to be okay. That is my episode today. I will see you next week.

Speaker 2:

Stay tuned for this amazing selfish mom season. Guys, my selfish mom coaching app is getting released. It will be released next week. I want you as a client I'm doing full on workouts, workouts from start to finish that you can follow me. I am showing you my small movements that I've done for my three set C sections. If you just want to move your body for five minutes in the morning, like, do something. That bare minimum, something is better than nothing. Guess what? I have a five minute like workout video. My whole just philosophy is something is better than nothing. Do Do the bare minimum and those small actions will lead to bigger actions and that will lead to motivation and small changes make big changes. That's my spiel. Stay tuned, look out for the Selfish Mom coaching and I will catch you next week.