the Selfish Mom Podcast

The Ultimate Guide to Feeling Like YOU Again: My Honest Take on Weight Loss, Energy & Libido Boosters

• Ali Kay • Season 2 • Episode 2

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What if taking time for yourself was the key to being the best mom you can be? Join me on the Selfish Mom Podcast, where I share my personal journey of navigating weight loss, energy slumps, and a decrease in sex drive over the past two years. I candidly discuss what has and hasn't worked for me, from various diets to exploring supplements and medications. Together, we’ll challenge the notion of selfishness, emphasizing that prioritizing our well-being is essential for thriving, not just surviving. Plus, I’m excited to announce plans to bring in experts like a hormone specialist and a breast implant illness doctor to enrich our understanding and empower us with knowledge.

My story continues as I recount recovery and fitness battles following my three C-sections. Movement is vital during postpartum recovery, and I'll walk you through the importance of easing back into physical activity while honoring your body's limits. I open up about postpartum weight struggles, especially while nursing, and underline the importance of self-awareness and consistency in self-care. You'll hear about my experience with body changes and the realistic expectations we should set, reminding us all that every body is unique and worthy of respect.

The episode wraps up with insights into managing health issues such as hormone imbalances and ADHD. My path through functional medicine, ADHD medication like Wellbutrin, and dietary shifts like the carnivore diet reveals a blend of modern and holistic approaches. I stress the importance of understanding root causes to achieve long-term health improvements. Listen to my honest reflections and learn how balancing lifestyle changes with medical interventions has helped me reclaim energy and focus. Let's redefine what it means to be "selfish" together by taking charge of our mental and physical health.

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Selfish Mom Podcast, a podcast for you, so you don't get burnt out like a mother. I'm your host, allie Kay, and this is the Selfish Mom Podcast. Learn to prioritize your mental and physical health first, so we can thrive and not just survive. Let's take action, become our best selves together and redefine selfish as the most selfless thing we could do together. And redefine selfish as the most selfless thing we could do.

Speaker 2:

Hey guys, welcome to the Selfish Mom Podcast. All right, moms, why do we feel like crap? Why can't we lose the last 10 pounds, 20 pounds? Why are we always tired? Why do we have low mood? Why don't we have that sex drive like we used to, and why is nothing working?

Speaker 2:

So on this episode, I am going to talk about my experience the past two years. I'm going to tell you what's worked for me in this journey of weight loss and becoming my best self, along with what hasn't worked for me. And, building off of last week's episode, I'm going to give you all the insight as far as what I've been doing, what medicine I have been taking, what supplements, all the things in order to bring me back to just feeling like a human again. So stick around. So on this episode, I am not gatekeeping. I'm going to share all the things. I keep it real on here. I keep it raw. So we're going to go back from the beginning, but just to give some insight as far as where this Selfish Mon podcast is going. So last week I talked about why I have the wellness fatigue right. This week I'm going to talk more about what hasn't worked for me, but what has worked for me and medicines and supplements that I have been doing, the diets that I have been following, all the things. And then this is going to build into the season where I am bringing on professionals for this season. We have a hormone specialist, we have a breast implant illness doctor just all the things where we can kind of build upon just wanting to feel better and getting more insight and education on us women. So I decided I'm going to give more of like my personal experience and then we'll bring the experts in starting next week. So I do want to just start off this episode by saying I am not a professional, I am not a doctor, I do not have any certification in nutrition, supplements, all of the things. I am just speaking upon my experience. So I just want to put that out there. Take it for what it is. Again, this is my experience and I just really encourage you to do your own research once listening to this episode.

Speaker 2:

All right, let's fast forward to two and a half years ago. Two and a half years ago, before I gave birth, I was gosh early 30s. I was in my 30s before I had my third son and I felt good. I didn't really have any of the symptoms I've been having now which is low mood, just low energy, gut issues. Which is low mood, just low energy. Gut issues, brain fog, brain fatigue, just always feeling scattered brain, low sex drive. I couldn't lose the last 10 pounds. I was just holding on to these pounds, but it was more of inflammation rather than weight. I haven't felt good and I feel like this has been going on for the last two years. So before I gave birth to my third son, I wasn't really feeling any of those things, not to the extent of what I'm feeling now. So, fast forward to two and a half years later, I feel like crap, but I'm starting to feel better. The last six months I would say starting over the summer I have been doing things completely different than what I've been doing the past two years, and they have made such a difference.

Speaker 2:

The first thing I want to talk about is the whole weight loss journey, because I've lost over 60 pounds now, and before I lost these 60 pounds, I also lost the 70 pounds after my second son. So I feel like I have a pretty good grip on the weight loss journey and I truly believe that there are two factors, two factors that truly make or break your weight loss journey. And I'm putting these factors aside from if your body doesn't respond to certain things. I think there are definitely medical, hormonal issues that prevent you from losing weight, but I'm just talking about the overall weight loss journey. There are two factors that you have to have that are so essential, and those two factors are one the mindset that you truly believe that you can do it.

Speaker 2:

I will personally say, with my first weight loss journey, with losing all that weight and even knowing that I was getting pregnant after I lost all this weight and I would essentially be going through another large weight loss journey, I truly told myself I could do this. That inner self-talk where what I told myself I truly believed and I will give myself credit for this I never doubted myself. I truly believed that I could do this and I told that I could do this and I told myself I could do this. Yes, I was hard on myself. I definitely needed to give myself grace on certain issues and I'm still working on that, but I truly just believe that I had this mindset that I could do it. It was going to be hard, but F it, we were doing it and there was no other choice, especially the second time around, because I knew I could do it the first time and I was like there's no excuse. You got this, you can do this, you're going to stick with it.

Speaker 2:

So a lot of us don't have that mindset.

Speaker 2:

We truly believe that. You know, we don't have it in us. It's just not for us, maybe in another lifetime. We're too busy, all the things, and I just really want to just tell you that the truth is, you have to believe it, you have to believe it yourself and what you tell yourself is what you believe and it's what you're going to do and it's what you're going to prioritize. So if you're not making yourself the prioritize, how can you better yourself? You know you are going to be so busy. You are going to have all these excuses. I'm sorry, but we all have the same amount of time and we are all effing busy. If you work a full-time job, if you have multiple businesses, if you're home with just kids, if you are doing work and the kids, or maybe you don't even have kids, we're all busy, okay, so busy and not having enough time is not an excuse. It's what you prioritize. What you prioritize, you will make happen.

Speaker 2:

You're listening to this podcast, you're prioritizing this. You probably scrolled your phone before bed. You prioritize that. Believe me, you have enough time to just put in a little effort towards yourself. Okay, I'm ranting, but going back. So, fact number one you have to believe it yourself and it's that inner self-talk. That's like the very first step of everything. You have to tell yourself you can do it. The second thing is the consistency. Now, I know we hear the consistency all the time.

Speaker 2:

It's a general theme in the weight loss fitness world but my consistency that I define as consistency is committing to the bare minimum and that whole mindset of something is better than nothing. When I was postpartum and I had just had my third C-section and I was cleared by my doctor at six weeks, I knew that I wasn't going to just jump into these intense, crazy workouts that I was doing prior in my pregnancy and even before I gave birth, I knew that I was just going to ease into doing something for me during postpartum and like working out with Lane and going for walks with Lane, the biggest thing that I was trying to do was build that habit of giving myself that time, like carving out that time during the day to just do the bare minimum. So, truly, sometimes my workouts or that movement was just like two minutes, five minutes, 10 minutes of just doing something. But it's that consistency of doing the bare minimum Each day that builds these habits and that bare minimum action drives you into motivation and that builds into big changes and habit building and a sustainable lifestyle. So not to like beat a dead horse into the ground because I feel like you guys always hear me say commit to the bare minimum but that truly makes the difference. It's dropping that mindset that things have to be perfect or extreme and just allowing yourself to just do something, to just say, hey, I'm gonna do something today that will bring me closer to my goals, and that might just be walking outside for a minute, for five minutes, it might be just like drinking one more glass of water than you usually do, or it's just like writing your goals down. It's just something, and everyone's bare minimum is truly different. So that's what I mean by like committing to that consistency. That consistency, the commitment to the bare minimum, has to be there in order to make big changes. Small actions lead to motivation, that drive action, that bring big changes, build habits and create a sustainable lifestyle that works for you. I hope that, like by the end of this season, I'm like that little voice in your head that's like just commit to the bare minimum, do something. Like something is better than nothing. It truly is. So, just next time you want to do like all these extreme, perfect things or just not do anything, like that all or nothing thinking, I hope I'm that voice inside of your head that says commit to the bare minimum, do something, something is better than nothing. Okay, so to bring it all back, those were the two biggest foundations or the two biggest factors that allowed me to just continue to start this weight loss journey, fitness journey, transformation journey, putting in effort to become my best self with the third baby.

Speaker 2:

Let's talk about C-sections real quick, because I want to touch upon that. I had three C-sections. I get asked the question a lot like when did you start working out? I will say the day I came home, I started going for walks. Now, I wasn't doing like extreme walks. The day I came home, I started going for walks. Now, I wasn't doing like extreme walks, but I was doing, you know, like a five minute walk, and I would gradually build upon that With C-sections. Again, talk to your doctor. But from my experience, the more I laid around, the more stiff I was and the harder the recovery and I had to depend on drugs. You know the pain, the pain medicine that really brought me backwards rather than forwards. So really, movement is key. Now I'm not saying, hey, go walk a mile after you get a C-section. I'm not saying that. I'm saying when you get home, get out of bed, walk around, don't just stay in bed. I think that's the true factor of a C-section.

Speaker 2:

Another thing I get asked is like going back, when did I start like doing actual workouts? I got cleared at six weeks but again, I was not jumping into these workouts that I was even doing during pregnancy or before I got pregnant. I really eased into the workouts. I never did ab movements with weights. I did those small movement exercises that you see me post in the chair. Those were the extent of my core workouts. Now I will say, with workouts that I do, I really try to engage my core in any movement that I do. That's something that I'm very intentional about. So I think that definitely helped build back my core.

Speaker 2:

Another question I get is do I have that flappy overhang with a C-section In the beginning. If you look at my videos, yes, 100%, I had it. Now I do want to remind you, after I had my second son and I lost all those 70 pounds, I got in the best shape of my life and then I ended up getting my breasts done. I got breast implants, a breast lift and then I did a very mini tummy tuck it's. They called it a mini because it just it goes. It's like the size of my C-section scar, like it doesn't go hip to hip, it just is like this big. I know you're not really watching this video, but if you watch this on YouTube, it's like a couple inches.

Speaker 2:

And that got rid of my loose skin prior to getting pregnant with baby number three. I still have loose skin, especially as I continue to lose the weight. I have loose skin, my stomach is still wrecked, my belly button is still saggy and that mini tummy tuck whatever I did before this third pregnancy is still. It's there, guys. It didn't really help me there. So that overhang I did have, but as I lost the weight, it has become very minimal.

Speaker 2:

I don't have that shelf. Um, I and I didn't have the shelf the second or first time I did in the beginning with the bit weight, but as I dropped the weight that shelf went down. Now again, this is my own experience. Some professionals might say, hey, you can never get rid of that shelf. I personally don't have that shelf. What I do have is a lot of effing loose skin, especially when I bend over. So that's what I have with the whole C-section.

Speaker 2:

So that's all I'm going to touch upon the C-section. If anything, you take away from this listen to your body, get cleared by your doctor and small core movements for your C-section recovery. I also another thing I want to say and I want to keep it real here genetics are so key and obviously how your body responds to pregnancy, postpartum, fitness, muscle building, all the things. And I will say I have a pretty good genetic disposition for abs. I don't know, that's just one of the things I was blessed with. I was not blessed with height, I was not blessed with long legs, but I do kind of have a genetic disposition for abs. So please don't go and compare, like my core to your core, to the other person's core. We are all different, we all heal differently, but for me, after having three C-sections, the small core movements really worked for me and yeah, I have a ton of loose skin on my stomach still Moving on.

Speaker 2:

Let's talk about the weight loss journey in regards to postpartum. So another question I get asked a lot is was it hard for me to lose weight while nursing? Yes, 100% yes. There are women out there and one of those women are my sister. She is so annoying. We were pregnant at the first time together. Our kids are six weeks apart, so we were pregnant together and she's my older sister, but she's the annoying type that's like oh, I love pregnancy, I love feeling like this. And I was just like that large Oompa Loompa whose feet were literally swollen. My feet grew two sizes too big and when we nursed she was like oh, look at me, I'm burning all these calories, whereas me like I just had fat, like I was gaining weight while nursing. And that happened the first, the second and the third time. So again, I think everyone's body is different. So again, I think everyone's body is different. But I do feel like the social norm with nursing was always like you're going to lose weight while you nurse and if you didn't like, we didn't talk about it. But I want to bring this into just light and normalize it, that I think our bodies can gain weight and hold weight while we nurse and I, I have experienced this firsthand. So when I was pumping, I was pumping every two hours, just nonstop. I was like a milk machine. From when Lane was born, my third baby, up until January, which was like month five, I started slowly dwindling down the amount I was nursing because I couldn't do it anymore. I, mentally, I was, I just couldn't do it anymore. Call me a selfish mom how to prioritize my mental and physical health, but I couldn't do it anymore for so many reasons. You can go back and listen to episodes on that, but it just, it just. I would not, honestly. Well, I don't want to say that, I don't want to say I wouldn't be here if I hadn't stopped, but we were going down that route. It was pretty scary. So mama stopped pumping and I will say, once I stopped pumping, my body started responding to all the things that I had been previously doing Like I didn't do anything different except the fact that I dwindled down nursing. So, yes, I do think that it's hard to lose weight while nursing if you're someone like me that keeps the fat, and I think that's one of those things where you have to just know that you still want to prioritize your mental, physical health. Like I was still working out, I was moving my body at least 30 minutes a day. I was very like mindful as what I was putting in my body. So I was not sleeping well, so I really lowered my caffeine intake. I was really trying to focus on, you know, protein, less processed food, gluten-free, dairy-free not a hundred hundred percent, but that was kind of like what I was aiming for. So, again, I didn't change anything different when I stopped nursing, but my body just immediately responded to it and I think I lost the most weight within that month once I stopped nursing every month.

Speaker 2:

I just want to say another thing about the scale. The scale does not measure your progress. There's so many different factors to the scale. If you want to go do the scale, do that like full body scan or like the Hume scale. That is like crazy accurate. It's like the full body scan, but it breaks down everything. There are so many factors that compose of your body. It's not just like this number on the scale. So please don't get caught up with the number on the scale, because for me that scale barely moved. It would go down, it would go up, it would go down. It would stay there, stay there, stay there, go down a pound. Stay there, stay there, stay there, go up two pounds. Stay there, stay there, go down a pound. You could just you could drive yourself crazy. So I want to say, yes, my weight loss was slow and steady, but I was building habits, I was creating a sustainable lifestyle. That was my progress. I was taking progress photos and videos of myself. Even if you don't share it to other people, share it for you, because it's so crazy how maybe you even gain weight because you're building muscle and you look at your progress photos and you can see inches lost on your arms or your stomach, you know. Or you take your measurements and you can see the inches actually shredding. So I just want to say that if you're measuring your progress, you really are consistent on this fitness journey. You're trying to really measure your progress. Screw that scale, screw it.

Speaker 2:

So, yes, weight loss was slow and steady. Once I stopped nursing, my body immediately responded. So basically, that's what I was doing for the past Two years. Yes, two years. I was just moving my body consistently 30 minutes a day. Sometimes I did weights, sometimes I ran, sometimes I did that dance workout in my living room. For me it was never really about like the specific workout, it was just moving my body. Again, something is better than nothing and it was building that hot habit of consistency. So that was like my biggest thing that I did the past two years.

Speaker 2:

But as the past two years went on, I started having all those symptoms that I listed before, and the biggest one is like lack of sleep. Obviously with a baby you're not sleeping, but fast forward two years, my son still does not sleep through the night. That could be a whole other podcast episode in the future. But I know like my basis of my body's needs are not being met because I'm not getting sleep. So I always thought, okay, I'm not getting sleep, I'm postpartum. We moved like this is normal. But as time has gone by, I have felt worse and worse and worse. So a year ago yeah, a year ago when Lane turned oh my gosh, I can't do basic math, so I guess when he turned one, yeah, okay. So a little after he turned one, I started getting my blood work tested.

Speaker 2:

Now a lot of people ask me what kind of doctor I go to. I do a functional medicine doctor online. It is telehealth. There's so many companies out there. Just Google it. You definitely want to do your research, but for me, I just I didn't find any help from my primary. It was like we took blood work, everything was normal and it's like peace out, you're good. Was like we took blood work, everything was normal and it's like peace out, you're good.

Speaker 2:

You know a little bit of gaslighting going on and, as I mentioned before, I just wasn't in this mindset to really welcome modern medicine, because I feel, like you know, they're a sick model. They're just going on like just putting a bandaid over the symptoms, not really getting to the core of what you're feeling. And also, I truly believe if your body isn't working properly, then that's going to affect your mind. It is wild because so many people struggle with anxiety and depression and when they go to a doctor they are slapped with an SSRI. Never once are doctors saying hey, what does your diet look like? What are you eating? Because, as you know, our food system sucks. We don't get the proper nutrients in our food anymore. We are all deficient in nutrients, magnesium, all the things. So if you're in a body isn't getting the proper nutrition and in your gut, that's where serotonin and dopamine, which are, like your feel good brain chemicals, happy chemicals that's created majority of it's created in the gut. Of course, that's going to affect your mindset and your brain. You know, okay, I'm going a little bit on a rant, but that's like the whole body approach. I truly believe that if your body isn't working, your mind isn't working. If your mind isn't working properly, maybe something's going on your body. Vice versa, it's a whole body approach.

Speaker 2:

So that's why I choose to do functional medicine online and with the blood work that I took, it was very detailed. Again, I was going to tell you guys, like the, the testing that I did, but there's there's deeper testing. So we'll talk about this next week because I have a hormone specialist on a doctor, a real doctor, a hormone doctor. I'm so excited and she also believes like the whole body approach. But again, there's more detailed blood work that you can get, especially with your thyroid. You know all the things. So when I took a more detailed blood work test, what came back were my liver enzymes were high, my cholesterol was high and my testosterone was low and my thyroid was all out of whack. So the first thing that my doctor told me to do was to take like a liver, like milk thistle supplement. So we kind of just did that, we didn't touch anything else, like I wasn't really ready to welcome any supplements or medicine, modern medicine.

Speaker 2:

After I got that blood work, I was taking a bunch of supplements. This is when I was like taking a bunch of supplements and sometimes that can heighten your liver enzymes and that's what I have been truly worried about, because one thing I don't I don't drink. You know, if I drink, it's very, very rare, but I still have that fatty liver enzyme. So that doesn't make sense because alcohol is not contributing to it. So I was like maybe it's some type of supplement I'm taking, I don't know. I was taking so many supplements that I couldn't really correlate what was going on. So I stopped all my supplements and then we retested my blood work a couple months later.

Speaker 2:

I think this is bringing us into like summer of this past year. So the summer of this past year, this is when I started to be very open. So this is like the past couple months what I have been doing. I pushed the past that plateau of the last 10 pounds. I still don't feel my best, but again I'm getting through my daily function, which is what I truly wanted, because I couldn't get to the core of what has been causing me these symptoms. Again, I think it's my breast implants. I think I have breast implant illness We'll talk about that on another episode with a professional but I can't explant right now, so I had to just manage my symptoms, if you may.

Speaker 2:

So the first thing that my doctor recommended me to take was DHEA supplement for my testosterone. This is something that you can get, like online. You can go to a health store. It's a supplement. I will say, with any type of supplements, you need to do your research. There's supplements that don't necessarily like dissolve in your body or your body doesn't absorb them properly because they're not as pure, if you may. But again, do some research on that. So I started taking DHEA. I want to back up Another thing.

Speaker 2:

Going back on that rant of like the source of our food, I will say I still take a multivitamin. We know we're deficient of food your basic nutrients. I take a multivitamin. My kids take a multivitamin. If I can sometimes get them to take it, it's a chewable one and they hate it, but a multivitamin is essential. The second thing that I will always take is a magnesium glyphosate, not glyphosate glycinate. The brand that I take is Doublewood. Now, this is not a paid ad. I will back up that brand until I die because I have done so many different brands of magnesium.

Speaker 2:

Now, if you want to know what magnesium does, it is like the foundation of your body's function. It can help with digestion. It can help with digestion. It can help with sleep. We're all deficient in it and your body needs magnesium to just properly function right. So if you're not taking magnesium, I really encourage you to go look into that Again, talk to your doctor. But magnesium is everything and I have tried so many different magnesiums and I take the magnesium glycinate double wood at night and it helps me get that quality of sleep. Even though I'm waking up like three times in the middle of the night, I'm still getting that quality of sleep. Like I get in that deep sleep and I don't feel groggy in the morning and my digestion, like my bowels, are moving as soon as I wake up, like I love that magnesium. So a multivitamin and a magnesium highly, highly recommend. That should be like the core and the foundation of your supplement routine, or at least that's the foundation of mine to your own research.

Speaker 2:

So, going back to the DHEA, I started doing the DHEA for testosterone. Now I just retested my testosterone a couple months ago. The DHEA brought my testosterone levels in range. So you might be asking, like, what's the in range of testosterone? So I don't know what my numbers are or were, because I don't have my blood work in front of me. Again, we'll talk to the professional.

Speaker 2:

But I know that my testosterone was out of range, which could have been contributing to my low mood, energy lack or non-existent sex drive, just all the symptoms that I was having kind of aligned with that low testosterone. No, not everyone has low testosterone. People with PCOS have high testosterone. So again, this is just because I was dealing with low testosterone. If these symptoms are something that you're dealing with, go get your hormones tested, go to a hormone specialist and again we will talk to the hormone doctor next week who will tell you how to do it, where to go, what to ask for all the things. But this is just to keep in mind. So my testosterone was brought back into range on my blood work. But because I go to a functional medicine doctor, they're also into like optimizing your wellness and your health.

Speaker 2:

So she was like let's try the testosterone weekly injections. And I was like, okay, because at this point again I'm welcoming the modern medicine, I'm welcoming whatever will help me manage my symptoms, because I need to get through my daily life. I'm so sick of feeling like crap. It's been two and a half years. I want to feel my best, I want to live my best. I'm 36 years old. This should be my prime and we shouldn't be feeling like crap. So, and again I think it's because of my breast implant illness. I can't explant right now, so it's just getting through the day. So I said let's try the testosterone injections. Now I know pellets are an option. I never was open to the pellets and I'm still not, because once you put the pellet in, you can't just like take the pellet out, which scares me, because what if you do start having negative experiences on it, like I just I don't know, I'm not for the pellet, that that feels a little too permanent for me. Um, and I have had a lot of people that were like I'm just not into it. It's really expensive. I felt a little different for a couple of weeks and then kind of whatever. Um, so many different experiences on the pellet.

Speaker 2:

I am a couple weeks in on the testosterone shot. I will say I started it for two weeks consistently. I started it like a week before I was about to start my period and then I started it as I was on my period. So I don't really feel like I felt this like huge difference. But I also think it was like where I was at with my cycle and then I kind of skipped a couple of weeks because Justin was busy and he usually gives me the shot.

Speaker 2:

The shot at first was really scary. I don't like needles but like I can deal with it. Now it's no big deal. You just got to like get into it. But I rather Justin do it and I feel like he kind of likes it. I don't know, don't ask, but he like likes giving it to me. I think that's just sound really dirty, but he, he's a caretaker so he, he likes to take control of that. So we kind of like we just cross paths with our schedule where it never really aligned for him to give me the shot and I kept forgetting. So I went a couple of weeks without it. I am on, I'm about to do my second shot now that I started it last week and let me tell you, guys, this is real.

Speaker 2:

Now again, this could be the placebo effect, but I have felt a different. On this testosterone shot immediately the day after, I felt a little more like energized. I felt a little manic, but manic in like the best way, like I had a to-do list and I was crossing it off. I was like just really upbeat, which I feel like has been very not me lately. And my sex drive. Guys, justin and I had sex three times in a week, okay, okay.

Speaker 2:

And remember I asked that question about like who's having, like how often do you do the deed? Like I was asking that question to moms on my social media to help me feel better, because Justin and I were like barely doing it, you know, and it's not because I'm not attracted to him or I don't like sex, it's because I just didn't have a drive. Like I like that was the last thing on my mind. I'm tired, I have kids hanging on me, you know we hit the pillow and then it's like this routine, like oh, let's have sex, just to have sex. Like I just I just was never really into it because I'm tired, you know, it's the last thing on my list and the shot, like I'm knocking on his door like I want it, you know. So now I feel like I'm one of those annoying moms on my social media answer that was saying oh yeah, we do it like four or five times a week. But what that lady wasn't telling us is she's probably taking this testosterone shot. So I will say that's one of, like, the positive symptoms is like I've been feeling a little tingle down there and I definitely am thinking about sex now, whereas, like, that was the last thing on my mind. So that's a big bonus.

Speaker 2:

Some of the negatives I have been breaking out, um, on my lower half of my face, on my chin, um, so that's one of the negative things. Some people say that will level out. It has gone a little better, but it's, it was pretty bad. Um. Another thing is I am a pure. Well, I'm not pure, I'm not a purebred, but I am majority Italian and I already have, like, thick hair. I'm just giving it all out right now. I have thick hair and I grow it on my chin. Like occasionally, you know, a little, george and Greg will pop up and I tweezer it out and it's fine. Well, there's like a whole family on my lower chin now, so that I will say I think is from the testosterone, um, the hair. So I I don't know how I feel about that.

Speaker 2:

People have messaged me and also said that they are scared to take the testosterone shot because they've heard that it gives you a large clitoris. Is it clitoris or clitoris? Well, they heard that it enlarges that and it deepens your voice. So that also really scared me. And then some people have said they've had the best experience. So I'm going to keep you guys posted on this. I'm so like eager to hear what the doctor is going to say about the shot, because I know some people are for it, some people aren't. Like I said, I'm kind of just like doing the guinea guinea pig thing and trying to like open myself up to it to see, like, what's going to happen.

Speaker 2:

Another thing my doctor prescribed me is glycine. Wait, oh my god, not glycinate glutathione. So glutathione is again like a supplement that you can get like over the counter, um, but this is the kind that actually, like you put in your mouth and on the side of your cheek, it's supposed to just really be just key with for your body absorbing it. Sorry, I like I was seeing something out the window and I'm definitely getting sidetracked, sidetracked, but anyway. So it's a prescribed glutathione. Um, my liver enzymes are continuing to go up, so she prescribed me this glutathione, which is to help detox your liver.

Speaker 2:

One thing that I was doing with my breast implants that were so bad is I was sauna-ing and that's like the worst thing you can do, because your breast implants can melt and also you're just detoxing the chemicals from your breast implants and then the toxins can't escape your body and then it's just, it's really bad. So we'll talk about that too with the breast implant doctor. But I was doing a lot of saunaing. I have stopped that, um, and I'm doing the glutathione to really give my my liver a chance. I also have really stopped drinking. I wasn't really drinking a lot before, but I was on occasion having, you know, a glass of wine here or there, like when Justin went out, I would have a drink, but I have pretty much cut off all alcohol because my liver just can't detox it. I also would take the occasional um gummy here and there. I I don't even do that anymore. Um, I wasn't like consistent on that, but I like now and then I'd be like okay to like get a really good night's sleep and I like I wake up puffy face, just like I'm really hung over and I really truly believe it's all because my liver can't detox.

Speaker 2:

Going back to like cortisol levels and stuff, which we'll talk to the specialist as well, is I think my cortisol levels were high on my blood work. So my functional medicine doctor was like, are you stressed out? And I was like I don't think I'm like overly, like I'm just normally stressed out. But one thing I have kind of stopped doing the past six months and it kind of just happened is I stopped doing high intensity workouts. Now I stopped really because I have an injury on my leg, or at least it feels like it's going to be injured. Like every time I make it take a movement like an intense, like like a sprint, or I start running or I play tennis, like it feels like very tight, like it's just going to snap. Um, and that's honestly one of the reasons why I haven't even started training for this London marathon that I'm going to be training for, because I I know I'm injured and I don't want to make it worse. So I stopped doing high intensity workouts. You know I was running a lot, I was lifting a lot of weights. I was just doing those like extreme workouts and I've stopped and, honestly, guys, I've lost a little weight because of that. I feel like my body, like that inflammation, kind of went down, especially when I go back and look at photos, like I've been gradually losing more weight the past couple months.

Speaker 2:

Um, another thing that I will be doing, that I have been doing, that I want to be completely, 100% honest and open with you guys is I have been taking something for my ADHD and it has helped me so much. So I I this is such a complicated subject for me because I believe that you know ADHD, um, depression, just mental health in general, they're just the correct characteristics of behaviors, right? So I truly believe that there's ways to manage those symptoms. Um, and especially, again, looking at that whole body approach, like if your brain isn't working properly, maybe you're deficient in something, maybe your body isn't working properly or it's not getting the certain nutrients it needs, maybe it's reacting to something that you're putting in your body or you're around you know all the things.

Speaker 2:

So I'm always really hesitant about that kind of medication, especially because I was in that field and I have just seen an over-diagnosis of this and then we give medication, like we just put a bandaid on it and then kids and adults and whoever are not learning the proper management skills or even like educating themselves on what these behaviors mean, how it affects your lives, what you can do, what are skills that you can learn, how you can make a difference where you can eventually maybe get off these medicines. And I'm not judging anyone for these medicines, it's just my thought. With this whole system, I think the system's broken. It's our health system. It's a sick model, right, we just put a bandaid on the symptoms and that's it where I want to get to the root of the cause and I want to be off medicines as much as I can.

Speaker 2:

But lately, with my brain fog, my scattered brain, I'm running two businesses, kids, kids schedules, just all the things I was making, just so many errors, um, businesses suffering, losing money, just just bad things. Because I just wasn't in the proper mindset. So my daily functioning was just not it. My time management is terrible, unmotivated. I was diagnosed with ADHD in early like teenage years, did medicine for a very short time, had a very terrible reaction to it, and then that's where, like my whole journey of just like educating myself on mental health and then going to grad school, all the things like it led me to where I am today. So I'm very thankful for that.

Speaker 2:

But I swore off medicine forever for ADHD. But I got to the point where I needed help and I'm not ashamed of it. I know that if my body isn't working properly because I haven't explained in my breast implants and I just can't do that right now, I wanna manage my symptoms and that's where I feel like modern medicine comes in. I don't think this is going to be forever. I think this is like a season of my life and I want to get off of it. But I am now prescribed Welbutrin. This happened over um. When did I get prescribed? So December, early December, I got prescribed Wellbutrin Again. I did it online, talked to my doctor and she was really great. This is another doctor, like they all work as a team. This is like the psychiatrist part of it and you know she made me feel good. She's like. You know, this is the stuff I prescribe for CEOs. You know my go-getters are really trying to do everything and they just can't do it all and that kind of just resonated with me because I can't do it all and I need help right now it's a season of my life. So she started me off on 150 milligrams. That's like the starting point.

Speaker 2:

It's not a stimulant like Adderall. It's not an antidepressant like Lexapro, like an SSRI. It's a different class of drug. I'm not sure what the class of drug is. I just don't want to say the wrong thing, but it's a different class of drug than a stimulant like Adderall. It's not the same class, different than Lexapro, but it works in the sense like Adderall that it is like a time release thing. But it is one of those things where you have to take it consistently every day to feel the full effects.

Speaker 2:

At six weeks, when I first started the medicine, it was like night and day. Maybe it was a placebo effect, but I just felt like I woke up with thoughts that were just complete thoughts, you know, like I had a goals, like I could see my goals for the day. I didn't feel scattered brain, I just I felt motivated. I felt like I could do this. I didn't feel overstimulated, I could just kind of like step back, like I feel it's definitely taken my energy a little down. I feel like I'm always on that like Chihuahua energy of like, oh my God, oh my God, what do I need to do? What do I need to do? So it's definitely brought my energy levels a little just like stable. Um, so I love it in that sense. She did just pop me up to 300. We decided we were going to try the 300, um, which I've been on for a couple of weeks now.

Speaker 2:

I the biggest downside of this is I have lost a little too much weight that I did not want to lose. I think I've lost like four or five pounds within the last couple of weeks, and it's not weight I don't want to lose, um, it's. It was a lot of my muscle too. So, remember, I'm not really lifting heavy weights right now, so I just feel like I lost a little bit of that weight that I didn't really want to lose, because right now I'm trying to build lean muscle. So, again, I'm trying to really focus on my protein intake right now, which I have been doing. If you want to know how to get your protein in, you do your weight times 0.36, and that's how much protein you should be intaking. I try to shoot for a hundred grams of protein a day, which, again, you can get from hard boiled eggs, peanut butter, just chicken meat. You know all the things. Research a little more about protein, but that's what I've been doing, not just recently but the past six months that have made such a difference. Not to just completely get off the topic of well butchering, I want to like back up.

Speaker 2:

You guys know I did do carnivore diet, that I did lose weight on that. I think that also really helped me look at meat and like food and protein and chicken as like a source of food, like a source of energy, not so much something that I indulge in. Like my cravings definitely went down because that was another symptom that I was having, like a constant salty, chocolatey cravings, and especially right before my period. So I have definitely felt different on that because I have been doing more of a high protein now. I tested my blood work after my carnivore diet, which I said I was always going to do, because the reason I was doing carnivore diet again was to heal these symptoms. I was trying to get back to that holistic, you know heal the root cause, heal your body, heal your mind, your mind, all the things, and I thought I could do that with food.

Speaker 2:

Interesting enough, when we retested my blood work this past time, my liver enzymes have continued to go up Again. These are the fatty liver enzyme kind, so could have been from the meat too that contributed, or could just be. My liver enzymes are continuing to go up for whatever reason, maybe because my breast implants, but my cholesterol did go down into that like normal range. So and I don't know all about this and again we'll talk about experts but a lot of people say cholesterol isn't a bad thing, it's a good thing, your body needs it. But a lot of people said with the carnivore diet it was going to skyrocket my cholesterol and it didn't actually brought it down. So, coming off the carnivore diet, I have been very, very intentional with high protein, high fat, less processed food, because my processed food really can contribute to my high liver enzyme.

Speaker 2:

So, going back to, what's really helped me lately is I agreed to go on thyroid medicine. So when I tested my blood work my thyroid levels were all out of whack. And when you go to your primary doctor I guess they only test certain things about your thyroid, but it's when you do like an extensive panel I guess you can get more of an idea of what's working for your thyroid or what isn't working. So we did one of those extensive biomarkers and my thyroid was out of range. So I always believe that going on thyroid medicine makes your thyroid lazy. Now this is something that I just heard from like a holistic podcast. You know, they say when you take thyroid medicine, your thyroid becomes more dependent on the medicine. So it just gets lazier because the medicine is doing its job and obviously, once you get off the medicine, your thyroid doesn't heal like your levels are going to get any better without the thyroid medicine. Now, take that for a grain of salt, because that's just what I was brainwashed to believe.

Speaker 2:

And again, with my thyroid being out of range, I was open to doing anything the past couple of months because I just want to feel better and I want to get through my daily life functioning. So I was prescribed a thyroid medicine and the deal that we've kind of made together with my doctor is I'm going to do the thyroid medicine for a couple months now, which I have been on, and when we retest my blood work which won't be until May or so if my levels have gone up, then I'm going to get off my thyroid medicine and see if I can withhold those levels and then go from there. There are like holistic things that you can do with your thyroid. I have yet to really research that because again I'm just tired and I just want my symptoms to be alleviated right now. But again I'm going to get my levels up and then try to maintain it holistically, see what my options are. But I'm very glad that I've opened myself to thyroid medicine because again, this is the great thing about modern medicine is that it can really help alleviate symptoms. I do feel like I have a long-term plan of how we can maybe get off this medicine in the future.

Speaker 2:

Same with, like the Wellbutrin, but it's been life-changing. I feel like the changes that I make in my diet and like my workouts and stuff. I see my body responding to more so than I ever have and again I do feel like I have a little more energy. But I just overall feel a little better. But obviously I am doing quite a bit of things like the testosterone shot too, so it's hard to directly correlate what is contributing to what. But I just hope, on blood work, my thyroid levels will be better and we'll go from there. So overall, I just want to say I have made even more of a connection with this food because I'm trying to, you know, really be mindful of what I'm putting into my body, because I feel like crap all the time and I want to get better. So that's just has given me that extra motivation to eat more.

Speaker 2:

Chicken meal prep my food. I'm cooking more for my family. You know, I'm buying less processed food. I'm popping hard boiled eggs in my mouth here and there from our chickens. You know, I'm just being a lot more intentional because when I eat like crap, I feel like crap and I already feel like crap, so I don't want to feel more like crap. So I really think that that's like another key of this whole entire journey.

Speaker 2:

That didn't start off with me to begin with, like making that connection with food has been a gradual thing. That takes time and again, you can restrict, restrict, restrict. But I promise you, if you tell yourself you can't have this, you can't have that, you can't have that, we're just cutting this out, you're going to want it more. So the key is to gradually start decreasing it and really focusing on the foods that fuel you and making that connection Like hey, when I eat those fries and that burger. I want to go take a nap. I feel sluggish Whereas like, oh I meal prep, I feel good. I want to feel more of this and I just feel like when we, us moms, already feel like crap, like why do we want to just eat more crap, you know? So that has been a progression of the trial and error with me with finding the foods that work for me, fuel me, um, going back from carnivore, going back into the real world of what I'm doing now.

Speaker 2:

I do have veggies and fruit, but I'm not having all the veggies I've also have had. Just like my stomach doesn't feel good when I have cauliflower, avocado, broccoli, like it, just it affects my gut. So I have kind of I've reduced that. As far as fruit, I eat apples and sometimes I'll do bananas, but that's that's pretty much as much fruit as I really consume. Oh, blueberries, I do put blueberries in my Greek yogurt, but other than that I'm not bringing in a bunch of that stuff. Gluten-free, really gluten-free, because again, I think, the gluten I have some type of reaction with the gluten, so really have reduced the gluten in my food and again, like it has taken me this entire journey of feeling crap to get there. So if you take anything from this podcast, just remember it's a progression that takes time.

Speaker 2:

Going back to the well Buterin Um, I did lose a couple pounds. That I don't want to. I am a very petite person. Again, please don't like always compare your journey to someone else's journey. I am five one, um, I've. I've been a hundred pounds my entire life up until I gained all that weight and lost it and stuff. But don't compare your body frame to me. I'm very petite. A couple pounds makes all the difference. I gain a couple pounds. It makes a huge difference and I lose a little and it makes a difference. So I just want to say that the Wellbutrin has caused a little bit of weight loss, which is a negative symptom for me. So I'm actually going down, and why it's caused weight loss is because it suppresses your appetite.

Speaker 2:

So I've really had to be mindful of that protein. As soon as I take it, I eat a big high protein breakfast with it, because I eat it in the morning and anything that I eat, I just make sure that I have the protein because again I am back on this grind where I'm building muscle. I want to build lean muscle. I don't want to lose my butt. I got a good thing going on with my butt. You know the goal is not to become that scary skinny thing, so just want to be completely open and honest with the well buterin. I'm going to share more of like my experience on it and what I've been feeling. But for me it has made such a difference in this season of my life I'm going back down to 150. So I'll tell you how I feel about that and I'll keep you posted on this testosterone shot too.

Speaker 2:

So this has been like a long winded episode, but my podcasts are where you can find more about what's going on with me, what I'm into, you know, again bringing in the professionals because I want to learn all this. And again we're going into parenting on this season because I am struggling. One thing about parenting is with little kids. It's great. Parenting is just a different type of parenting at that age. But let me tell you, when you get to third, fourth, fifth grade, 11-year-old and on the real parenting, stuff is happening and it's been very taxing and a lot of my like root issues that I think I'm still like dealing with are coming up and I've had to be really mindful that I don't project my struggles onto my son, you know, and make that part of his reality, because we are two completely different people with different experiences and I don't want him to struggle because I haven't dealt with my own personal issues. You know my personal trauma and problems that I never work through. So I've really had to be mindful.

Speaker 2:

This season of life has been a rough one, a hard one, but a rewarding one too. But it's just. The things are happening, life is lifing right now and I'm going to bring you along this journey. So we'll get into parenting, and I do want to say that my Selfish Mom coaching app is out, guys, I have been working on this since summer and I'm so excited about it because my hopes has been to get more of like a selfish mom community. I really feel like the selfish mom message where prioritizing your mental and physical health is a necessity for us, and I think more women need to hear that message, especially us moms, because we all carry the world of the weight, the weight of the world, the world of the weight, the weight of the world on our shoulders and I just I want to share more of that message and I want to share my workouts with you guys, what I've done. You know what I've learned the past 10 years of being a mom. I want to hear other people's experiences and I want to do challenges on there.

Speaker 2:

It's going to be just a fun resource community app that you can honestly. There's different levels. You can have the basis level, you can even do one-on-one coaching with me. I kind of have a tier for this coaching for any of your needs. That is live now. If you go to wwwTheSelfishMomCoachingcom, please check it out. If you do download the app, you sign up for it. When you open your browser and you look down, there's a square with an arrow and you press that and you press it to say save to homepage. That's where the app, or the icon, will become an app on your page and that will open up the whole Selfish Mom coaching. So I hope to see you on there, remember, next week. We're bringing in the professionals. We're doing this progression together. I'm going to keep you updated on all the things. But once again, thanks for listening to the Selfish Mom podcast. I will catch you next week.