Raw Dogging Life While My Hormones Run The Show

The week before your period can feel like someone swapped your brain out overnight. I am sharing a very real solo catch-up on coming off Wellbutrin, “raw dogging life,” and the moment I realised my worst spirals were lining up with my luteal phase and possible perimenopause. If you have ever wondered whether you are dealing with anxiety, depression, ADHD, or “just stress,” this conversation pulls hormones into the frame in a way most of us were never taught to consider.

We talk practical next steps for women’s health, including why I keep coming back to one nonnegotiable: get your blood work done. I also open up about white coat syndrome and why going to the doctor can feel hard, plus how telehealth platforms and lab options can make it easier to start gathering real information about what is happening in your body.

Then I go deep on my peptide journey, what I tried, what I stopped (sermorelin), and what genuinely surprised me: better sleep with a GHK-Cu and epitalon stack. The sleep piece matters because when we finally rest, everything else gets easier, from mood to resilience to how we show up as moms. We also shift into middle school parenting, the loss of the “toddler manual,” and how I am trying to guide my preteen through complex social stuff by focusing on values, goals, and open conversations.

If this hit home, subscribe, share it with a mom friend who feels like she is “going crazy,” and leave a review so more women can find this. What symptom have you been brushing off that you are ready to track and take seriously?

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Selfish Mom Podcast. A podcast for you so you don't get burnt out like a mother. I'm your host, Ali Kay, and this is the Selfish Mom Podcast. Learn to prioritize your mental and physical health first so we can thrive and not just survive. Let's take action, become our best selves together, and redefine selfish as the most selfless thing we could do. Hey guys, welcome to the Selfish Mom Podcast.

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(Cont.) Raw Dogging Life While My Hormones Run The Show

SPEAKER_01 0:27

I am your host, Ally Kay, and on this episode, we're just gonna do a little solo. I feel like it's been a minute since I've just gotten on here and talked about what's going on, what's been working, what hasn't been working for me, what I've been struggling with as far as perimetapause. I'm also raw dogging life, so I am off my well butrin. No more medicine for my ADHD or depression. And then also it's like, has it really been depression and anxiety, or is it just hormones and perimetopause? And also, middle school age parenting is no joke, y'all. So let's just catch up on everything. Sit back and stick around, I don't even know if that's an appropriate term to say I'm raw dogging life, but I do feel a little unhinged ever since I got off my Well Butrin. Meaning, I'm just feeling all the things. I think Well Butrin was great for me in this season of my life. I just felt very out of control. You know, a lot of things going on in life and business. We're building a house, kids, our environment that we were living in wasn't like the best. And I just I really needed help in that moment. So well buterin, again, if you haven't listened to that episode and you're curious about Well Buterin, go listen to my experience. But I am off of it, so I am completely off of the medicine. And one thing I've really noticed is two months ago, no, yeah, I guess it was two months ago, I made a post. I was like in bed, I was really struggling, just like crying, mood swings. I I truly was like googling if I should enter some type of like treatment center for mood disorders. Like I just felt crazy in my head. Okay. And I've always dealt with mental health things. You know, that's one of the reasons why I went to grad school to get my mental health counseling license because it just was so relevant to me. And I was really inspired to help other people because of the help that I got, you know. So mental health is always at like the forefront of my mind. Like my mental health is struggling right now, and I just I really felt crazy, and I'm very like in tuned with that. Like when I kind of you feel that shift in your mindset, and I was definitely like spiraling, spiraling more than usual, you know. And I did kind of post something that was just like, hey, I don't know, I don't know. I think I was just open, like struggling with my mental health. And two months later, I'm realizing now that I'm just more in tune with like my luteal phase the week before my period, and I am in perimetapause. Like, holy crap, y'all! Like perimetopause a week before my period, it is crazy. Now, if you don't really fully understand your luteal phase or you don't know what that is, your period or your cycle, your 28-day cycle, if you're pretty normal with your cycle, it's cut up into phases. I'm obviously not a medical doctor or anything, but the luteal phase is basically the week before your period, and this is when your estrogen drops. So for me, I've just realized, like now that I'm actually sinking my calendar or sinking on my calendar that I'm in my luteal phase, like it is a pop-up on our family calendar. Like Ali is entering her luteal phase. I realize it has been increasingly so intense and worse as far as like the moods. Like, I'm just angry, like I really do, like like no tolerance. I'm spiraling. I want to like blow up my life. And and so now I look back where I was two months ago and I'm like, oh my God, this is hormones. This is perimetapause. And you might be saying, like, am I in perimetopause? How do you know if you're in perimetopause? So here's the thing go get your blood work done. But also what I'm learning is like you can be in perimetapause for 10 years. And I feel like the thing is, is there's not a lot of studies going going around in regards to perimetopause. Like they don't really exist. Okay. Women's medical issues, like they're just behind in the research. But I feel like growing up, I kind of understood what menopause was, but nobody has really talked about what perimetapause is. And I, you know, more and more people are talking about it in experts, but I'm just saying as I'm entering it, I'm like, holy moly, like I didn't really know any of this or even like the signs of being aware of it. So I just want to say I'm 37, you can be in perimetapause for over 10 years, and I think it is like a gradual thing. So definitely go get your blood work in. But if you are to this point where like your mental health really is struggling, you really like figure out what's going on with your hormones. Because another thing that I'm so taken back by is so I went to grad school for mental health counseling, and you know, that's where I would be able, if I did get license and do my hours post-grad, like I would be diagnosing mental health disorders. And what's crazy is like if a 37-year-old woman came into my office saying all the things that I would be saying, you know, that I'm going through, like all everything that I'm dealing with, the mood swings, the crying, the the just like not resilient to stress, like I probably would have walked out of the doctor's office giving that person like a diagnosis and, you know, an anxiety disorder, maybe even bipolar, you know, like some type of disorder in the DSM 5, you know? And even if you go to a psychiatrist, like you go to a psychiatrist and you say all the things that you're struggling with, they're gonna put you on some type of meds, right? And what's wild to me is that as a grad school student who again goes out into the workforce to diagnose and treat mental health disorders, not once did we talk about hormones or perimetopause or menopause in certain aged women. Never, okay? And that just completely blows my mind. So, again, what I've really shifted in my beliefs, and I mean, I just feel like it's common sense at this point. Like your body and your mind are connected, obviously, and they flow together. So if your mind's not working properly, something's going on with your body. If your body's not, you know, functioning properly, it's going to affect your brain and the way you perceive and react to the world around you and information. I just feel like it's common sense right now. So if you stop listening, listening to this podcast episode, the one thing I want you to take away from this is go get your blood work done. Okay, go get it done. And another thing is I have something to admit. I 100%, and I blame my mother if she's listening to this. I have white coat syndrome. And I didn't even know this was a thing. My sister told me it's a thing because we both have this thing, but I I'm just scared of doctors. I don't know. Like, I just don't fully trust doctors. I know that's really crazy to say. Listen, mad respect to doctors, I just I don't know. I just I have a thing with them, and I think it's because of my mother, but that that's a whole other episode. But what I'm trying to say is I really struggle going to the doctors, okay? And I also just struggle going to like a local doctor too. You know, like I just I don't want them to be the doctor that like examines me and they're at the country club playing like tennis with my husband. Like, I don't know, it's just like too personal, too close. I I don't like it, okay. So what I'm trying to say is I really struggle with like getting my blood work done and seeing a doctor. So if you're kind of in the same boat as me, I will say there's so many online telehealth platforms out there. So they do exist. And I just want to say, like, there are other options out there. If you kind of like it's hard for you to get to a local doctor, or maybe you just are like, oh, can they really treat me? Or I don't know. There's a lot of online, online telehealth platforms that will help you order your blood work, and even like sites like Lab Corp, you could go on and order certain blood panels. You could pay out of pocket to get certain blood panels. So I just want to pass that along. Again, I'm not a professional, a medical professional. Go do your own research, but I I mean just go get your blood work done. Things are getting weird, okay? In your 30s, like late 30s, mid 30s, and on, things are getting weird. And I feel like hormones are that driving force. It's really funny because my best friend, I I I psych, oh my god, I sink her period. Sorry, I'm like looking at my phone and trying to speak English. Again, like brain fog here. Perfect example of perimetopause. Brain fog. It's real. Again, hormones. But, anyways, I am very well aware of when my best friend starts her period. I just feel like it's very important because also my best friend definitely has like behavioral patterns. And again, this is my mindset. I'm very like psychologically in tuned. You know, I love behaviors and patterns of behaviors. Like, I'm just that's how my brain is wired and trained to perceive, you know, people. So I know my best friend's behaviors really well. And she kind of has a pattern, right? So I started syncing her cycle because yes, she try she tracks her cycle, but I feel like she's not in tune with it as much as like, I don't know. I just have a lot of time. So I I sync her cycle to my calendar too. It's also a week after I get my period, so it's pretty like I'm like, okay, a week before my period, I'm spiraling. So I know like as I get my period, my best friend is spiraling. So it's almost like, oh my God, I just spiraled, spiraled this month. Like, watch out, you're about to spiral too. So, anyways, I'm in my lineal phase. I'm literally about to get my period any day now, and I have been spiraling. And she calls me and she's like, Oh my god, I just cannot take these people. Like, I have no tolerance for them lately. Like, I just feel like I cannot tolerate them, you know? And she's like really just like, what is going on? I can't tolerate these people, like they're just crazy. And I'm like, Brittany, you are in your luteal phase. You are now in that spiraling phase that I just got out of. And she's like, No, I'm starting my period on the 15th. Like, I know I'm not in my luteal phase yet. I'm like, Yes, you are, yes, you are. And sure enough, she like gets her phone out, opens the app, and it says, You are in your luteal phase. And she's like, Oh, and I'm like, look, it's hormones, it's crazy. I feel like there is such a science and clockwork behind it. And unfortunately, we're just all going to be crazy and spiraling together in this luteal phase. But there is like a TikTok trend. Again, I'm not a medical practitioner, but they said that to take pepsid, is it what it's called? Pepsid a week before your period, which is in your luteal phase, which is like supposed to help wonders. So again, talk to your medical practitioner or go on TikTok and look up those TikToks. But I'm going to try that next week and or not next week, next cycle and see what happens. So I will let you know. Also, I just want to catch you up on the whole like peptide journey because I have posted about it. I've talked about it on my stories and stuff, but because we're on the podcast, I can elaborate a little more on it. So with peptides, I feel like I am definitely in this like mindset of I will do anything to feel like a normal functioning person, you know, like I'm just open to it because right now I feel like crap. You know, my blood work is not the best. I'm still going through like the mystery blood work, but I honestly haven't been on top of like seeing the doctors and doing the things. So I'm gonna get back on track. But again, I'm just open to doing all the things. So with peptides, I decided to do two different stacks. Now, like GLP1 is a peptide, and I guess when it comes to peptides, again, you have to go do your own research. But from my understanding, they are natural within your body. So I guess like proteins are made up of amino acids, and then peptides make up amino acids. Okay. So when you take peptides, like as the injections, you're basically sending more signals to produce more of whatever that peptide supports. So again, they're natural to your body, but they are like synthetic, like you are, you know, injecting something synthetic into your body. I guess it's kind of the same as like a synthetic testosterone. You know how you could take the testosterone shot and stuff. Like testosterone is obviously natural to your body, but you're injecting it. Okay. So I decided to do two stacks of peptides. I am doing, well, I started off doing one stack that had sermorelin in it. And the sermorellin is human growth. And one of my complaints is I feel like after baby number three, like my butt is in the gym. I'm pretty active, and I just feel like my muscle growth is just not happening. It's really hard for me to build muscle. That's pretty common with age. As you get to a certain age, you know, you start losing muscle mass annually. And that's really what ages you too. Like ages your body is losing muscle. Okay, so that was always a concern. So they're like, okay, we could do Cermarelin. And again, I'm working with a company, Regan MD, where you can you meet with a medical provider. And then when they do order your peptides, it comes from a pharmacy. So there are some really shady sites out there when it comes to peptides. And like you order them from China and they come and they say, like, not for human consumption, you know, like it really, really sketch. So if you're interested in doing peptides, please, please, please, like go through a platform that you're meeting with a medical provider, you're taking your blood work, it comes from a pharmacy. Okay. Three things when it comes to peptides. So I did the smerelin, and I also was doing a stack that had the GHKCU, which that supports the collagen, the inflammation. Um, and then that was with epitalin. Now the epitalin supports melatonin. So the epitalin and the GHKCU was like together. So it's just one injection and it has both those peptides in one. And then I was taking the sermorellin. So I think I did six weeks of the Cermorelin, the human growth, and I stopped it because I was like gaining weight. I just felt like my body was holding on to water. I don't, I feel like my muscles looked maybe a little more defined. Like I had I had more muscle definition, but I feel like my muscles were like filled with water. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's how I can only describe it. And I know like bodybuilders take human growth, like it's pretty common in the human or in the bodybuilding world, and it's been around for a long time. But for me, I just I just felt puffy and I felt like I was holding water weight. So I stopped the sermorelin. And sure enough, like after I stopped it, I felt like I leaned out a little bit. Soin peptide, human growth, not for me. Also, I kept thinking, like, if I'm injecting human growth, like you know how we all think we have cancer, like we can spiral down that mindset, which again I'm trying not to, but like in my in the back of my mind, I was like, what if I have like a tumor or something and you're injecting human growth and it's like speeding up the process of the tumor, cancer. I I don't know, like I just didn't it didn't sit with my mind right. So the epit or the the oh my god, brain fog again. The human growth, we ended, okay? But with the GHKCU and the epitallin, y'all, what happened was I started sleeping, and I never realized that I have not been sleeping for the past 12 years. I would say ever since I became a mother, I don't think I have been truly sleeping in regards to like the quality sleep. Like it it's to the point where and I felt it after a couple days, and the more you take it, I think like your when you take peptides at six weeks is really when you feel you know the the most results, like it takes six weeks, and then you can do multiple cycles. But I inject myself at night, that's a thing you do have to inject, but I don't feel sleepy when I take that stack. I just feel like when I'm ready to go to bed, I close my eyes and I fall asleep, but and I don't open my eyes until the next morning. And I feel like wow, like I slept hard. So for me, that alone has been life-changing. And I don't feel like groggy in the morning or anything like that. Like, you know, when you take melatonin and it's I don't know, it's kind of it's not the same sleep. All I can just tell you is it's like qual, like I feel rested. I feel like I truly had a good night's sleep, and it's happening like every single night, which is so exciting. So that has really changed everything. And I think like when you are actually getting sleep, your body is functioning better, you know, your skin looks better, like just everything is better. Your mental health is better because you're actually sleeping. I just feel like sleeping is that basic need. Whereas if you're not getting sleep, how can your body and your mind function properly? So that has been the biggest takeaway from my peptide journey. Now, I've done three six-week cycles of the peptides, and I'm I'm taking a break. I will say it's just a lot to do the shot every single night. Like you do the shot five days, and then over the weekend you take a break. And I it's just it's a lot. It was definitely a lot more in the beginning to get used to it, and then you know, like anything, it does become somewhat of like a habit, your nighttime routine. But I am taking a little bit of a break from it. Again, I'm like raw dogging life. I want to take a break real quick and talk about Live Body. So, Live Body products for me is like my one-stop shop. What I love about LiveBody is it has clean ingredients, and again, I can get my electrolytes from LiveBody site. I get my greens from Live Body, I get my protein, I get my magnesium supplement at night. So, LiveBody, they carry basically everything and anything. And I have just really been enjoying, I got these products all together, and really I love the electrolytes in the magnesium right now, but I'm like slowly integrating them into my daily routine, and it's just been making such a difference, especially getting back to basics of like working out, and then I grab my Live Body vanilla protein and I make a shake, you know, and I have electrolytes in my water bottle for the day and I'm drinking it. Also, Live Body makes like watermelon flavored electrolytes, which I love, and they're also not like super sweet, you know, they don't feel super sweet and sugary to me, but they still taste good. So if you haven't checked out Livebody, go to Livebody.com. You can use code AliK where you get$10 off your first order. Another thing that's really been going on that I want to talk about, and I feel like I need to talk about it in a very, I don't know, just a way that protects my kids. Because as my kids are getting older, you know, especially my oldest son, which what I'm about to talk to you is about, you know, preteen middle school age, he is his own person. So I don't want to share his personal information or his life on here. So I am going to try to talk about this from like my perspective as a mother. But I will just say that the preteen, 12 years old entering middle school has probably been the most challenging. Phase of motherhood for me. I just feel like with toddler life, you know, there's kind of like a manual. You ask your friends like what's working for them. And they're like, oh, you know, we love these brands of food. And we cut out red dye and their behavior, they're not having as many tantrums. And, you know, we're we decided to co-sleep with them. You know, like it's almost like a manual for toddlers. It's it's like the basic stuff, you know. And I feel like with the middle school age, I'm truly just now entering like the real parenting, you know, and it's complex emotions and feelings, and there's social things that are happening. And as a mom, you know, I really can only guide him. And I think I've also come to the point where it's like, as a mom, you definitely want to shelter your kids, you know. And if it were up to me, I would shelter them and not allow them to learn anything about this evil world. You know, I don't want them to know all the things, but the reality is, which I've had to truly just face and understand because I am like a fight or flight person in the sense of I like to run away from things, okay? I don't want to deal with them, I just want to remove myself and run away from the issue. And, you know, this has truly challenged me as a parent, as a person that, you know, I can't just shelter my child and not keep like and keep everything from them. They're going to learn things, they're going to experience things. And I feel like I've just really had to learn, and I'm still learning, how to guide my child through these things and learning things, and you know, and it's not like this one conversation and we've we've conquered the problem or you know, we've handled that issue. It's like this ongoing thing of just guidance, you know. So I just feel like I've really taken on the role of like, I don't, you know, the reality is I can't shelter my son who's in middle school from everything as much as I want to. And we gotta just keep having so many open conversations. I can't be judgmental, I can't overreact, and I really just have to help guide him. And I think what really has stuck out with me that I'm trying to use as like my guidance is I know for me, like when I personally struggled, you know, as an adolescent or even like as a young woman, it was when I truly didn't know what I stood for, what my values were, you know, or when I was like ready to kind of just question my values too. Like you, you know, you have these values growing up, and then you're like, wait, do I really believe in these values? Do these really apply to me? That's when you know my choices started to become harder. And you know, I made uh choices that just kind of if I knew what I stood for and I knew what my values were, I probably wouldn't have made them. You know, I just feel like, and I I relate this back to fitness too, like when you or just like overall personal growth, when you have very specific goals in mind, like you write the goals down and you know exactly what you're working towards, it's easier to make choices during the day. You know, you're being intentional. And as you know, a young adult, uh, a kid in middle school, you know, their values are going to get, I don't know, like they do that, do they know their values yet? They're going, you know, they know what they learn at home, but they're going to get challenged, I guess is what I'm trying to say. So I really I'm really trying to really guide my son in determining what his values are. What does he stand for? Who is the person he wants to be? You know, what does he want to accomplish? Because I can't make the choices for him every day. Like he is his own person, and that's sometimes really hard to like understand or just accept as a mom. Like he is his own person. And as a mom, my job is to help him become this independent person who can live life on his own, you know. As sad as that is, that's my job as my as a mother is to get him ready for the world and let the baby bird fly from the nest, you know. So I guess what I'm really focusing on with him is like, what are the values? You know, defining the values and defining what you stand for and what you want and what it is you want to accomplish, because I feel like that's going to be such a guidance of the the choices he makes, you know, the the friendships he makes, just all the things. And so that's what I'm kind of, I feel like that's been the theme. And even again, going back to fitness and personal growth, like I am very goal-oriented. And I feel like I've definitely gone a season in my life right now where I've just I've just been flying under like just going with the flow, you know. I'm not being intentional because I have not been concrete as far as what my goals are and what it is I'm working for. So, you know, the choices that I'm making, like I'm all over the map because I'm not clear on what it is I'm working towards. And I meant the choices as far as like my nutrition and my fitness and all the things, you know, and in my business goals. Like I just have not been concrete on those goals. So again, I hope like if you stop listening to this podcast at this moment, like the takeaway from here is what is it that you want? What is it that you're working for? Define those very specific goals. And I think your daily choices and your life become so much just easier to maybe not easier, but you know, it's just it's like you know the road to take because you know exactly where it is you want to go. And I think that's just being intentional. I heard something that I want to share that it's like, oh, I don't know, it just it left me kind of inspired in a way. But you know, I'm I believe in God, God is my higher power. I do believe like God, you know, can has made the world operate off of energies and frequencies and you know, all the things. I guess that's like a whole other podcast episode. But I but I do believe in the power of prayer and manifestation and creating the reality of of what it like the reality that you want. And I feel like we all have a very specific vision, or maybe you don't, and I challenge you to do this like a vision of who you want to be, like that person that you deserve to be, you know, that deser that person that deserves to have the things that you want, you know. And I heard something where it's like uh when you go to sleep, before you go to sleep, you have to fake that you're sleeping in order to sleep. So like really think about it. It is kind of weird if you think about it. Like before we go to bed, we fake, we close our eyes and we fake like we're sleeping so that we can actually sleep. And you know, the saying, like, fake it until you make it. That meaning means so much more to me now. Like it's not fake, like it's not like being fake, like go be fake. No, it's like be who you want to be today, even if you're not that person. Like, what are those choices that person would be making if you were that person? Well, if you know those choices that person would be making in their daily life, then just make those choices already, like fake it. Even if they aren't like they're harder for you to make now because they're not truly aligned in your current life, like eventually they're going to be easier be as you do them. But it's like, who is it that you want to be? Just go be that person today. Go fake it, you know, fake it till you make it. So, as much as like that saying has gotten a bad rap, I really do love it in the sense of like fake it, like just fake it, even if it's not who you are right now. Like, if you want to be this like really successful, you know, mom who's like ripped and you know, is a millionaire and all the things, like, would that person be in bed on TikTok scrolling? And you're getting a little glimpse into my inner monologue in my head. Like, no, they wouldn't be scrolling brain rotting right now, they would be going out, probably walking outside or writing down their goal lists or getting in a workout, or you know what I'm saying? Like, you gotta chat, you gotta start challenging yourself. Like, what are the choices that you need to make today to achieve what it is you want to be, or you know, be the person you deserve to be? Okay, that is my spiel for today. Anyways, that's been my solo episode. I know that was like so ADHD and me, like all over the place, but I didn't want to bore you, but I did want to talk and just expand on some things that I have been like posting about and just like tell you where I am. I do feel like I'm just again, like I feel like I'm in a funk in the sense of like I want a full reset. And even I think if you guys follow me on social media, if you're listening, you're probably a follower on social media, and thank you for following me. I'm just like in a funk too on social media, which is definitely a direct reflection of my life. Like, I just you know, I'm not where I want to be. I don't really know what it is I want to accomplish right now, but I'm kind of just, I don't know, like just pondering, writing goals, just just figuring it all out, you know. So if you're kind of uninspired like me and you feel just a little, I don't know, just living life unintentionally, that's okay. I think when you truly look at life as seasons, like you go through different seasons and you give yourself that grace and love and acceptance for wherever you are in life, it gets a little better, you know? Give yourself grace. It's a season. We all go through it. And you know, this is probably the next stepping stone you need in order to get to the next place you're going in life. So thank you so much for listening to another episode of The Selfish Mom. Y'all, I'm also thinking I kind of want to co-host. So if you know of any co-hosts that come to mind that you're like, oh my gosh, do you want to make a bum co-host? Let me know. I wanna do more of the podcast. I just gotta get my life together. But thank you for listening, and I'll talk to you next time.