Where Is Your Energy Leaking? A Gentle Reset for Caregivers

We’re about two-thirds of the way through Season 2, and before we move forward, I felt a pull to slow down.

No new framework.
 No new acronym.
 No fresh hack to master.

Just you and me.

Because underneath rhythm, boundaries, resets, time management, and emotional protection… there’s one core truth:

You can’t pour from a cup that’s quietly leaking.

In this bonus episode, we gently explore what an “energy leak” really is — and why so many caregivers feel exhausted even when they haven’t “done that much.”

Energy leaks aren’t always dramatic. They often look like:

• The conversation you replay in your head
•  The guilt you carry for resting
•  The constant explaining and justifying
•  Doom scrolling that leaves you heavier
•  The tension in your shoulders
•  The “what if” thoughts at 2am

Not all exhaustion is physical.
 Some of it is emotional leakage.

In this episode, I guide you through reflective journaling prompts (that you can write, walk with, or simply sit with) to help you notice where your energy may be quietly draining.

✍️ The 4 Journaling Prompts:

1. Where do I feel most drained right now?
   Is it a person, a responsibility, a pattern, or my own thoughts?
2. What do I keep saying yes to that leaves me resentful?
   (Resentment is often a boundary leak.)
3. What input could I reduce?
   News, social media, constant researching, self-criticism?
4. When do I feel most steady or peaceful?
   The opposite of the leak often shows us the solution.

I also share powerful messages from caregivers in this community — because when one caregiver speaks up, it helps another feel less alone.

We talk about:

•  Why awareness is the first step
•  How small adjustments can close big leaks
•  Why you don’t need to “fix the whole pipe” — just tighten one place
•  And how protecting your energy is sacred work

If you’ve been wondering why you feel so tired…
 This episode is your gentle reset.

Because awareness is not weakness.
 It’s wisdom.
 And you are wiser than you think. 💛

Transcript

Season Two Reset

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Well, hello, my friend, and welcome back to another episode of the Caregiver Cup podcast. Yes, we are in season two, and we are officially about two-thirds of the way through season two. And before we jump into anything new next week, I just feel this pull to slow us down again. No big framework today, no new acronym, no fresh hack to master, just you and me for a few minutes. Because sometimes what we need most isn't more information, it's space to reflect on it. Season two has been very powerful. If you think about it, we've talked about creating a rhythm that works for you and I, setting boundaries without guilt, choosing small resets, rethinking time management, and protecting your mental and emotional space. And be do, and really, beneath all of it, underneath every single episode is that one core message. You can't pour from that an a cup that's quietly leaking. You can have the best rhythm, you can set boundaries, you can manage your time wisely. But if your energy is slow and it's slowly leaking out through worry and guilt and compassion and resentment and constant input, you're still feeling drained. So today I want to gently ask you something in not in a dramatic way, not in a judgmental way, just a curious, compassionate way. Where is your energy leaking? Let's sit with this for a while. Where is your energy leaking? We've already talked about energy this season. Back in episode five, when we talked about energy mapping, I asked you to notice your energy levels. The high, the medium, the low. Is your morning energy higher than your evening, or vice versa? Some of you may have already discovered something surprising when I asked you what to track your energy levels. Maybe your energy wasn't just about sleep. Maybe it wasn't just about being how busy you were. Maybe it was about what your mind was carrying. And that's where energy leaks come in. An energy leak isn't always dramatic. It's not always a crisis, it's not always confrontation, it's not always a big argument. Because most energy leaks are just subtle. They look like the conversation you put replay in your head long after it's over. And as a matter of fact, I'm replaying my lunch with my brothers and brother and sister. And it's just, I'm like, it was just a reminder for me. Why am I replaying it over and over again? It it might look like the guilt you carry for resting or the constant explaining and justifying, the doom scrolling that leaves you heavier and in instead of informed. The tension you don't even realize you're holding in your shoulders. The what ifs, the thoughts, you know, the what if thoughts that show up at 2 a.m. Energy leaks are those small, steady drips or drains. They're the things that quietly pull from you all day long. And at the end of the day, you wonder, hmm, why am I so tired? I don't even do all, I didn't even do all that I wanted to do that day, or not much today, and I'm still tired. Here's the truth not all exhaustion is physical. Some of the some of it's emotional leakage, some of it's a mental load, some of it's holding space for everyone else's fears, moods, needs, and expectations. And as a caregiver, we are very, very good at carrying. If you think back, I don't even know what the episode end, but and if you just went out and searched backpack, a stressed backpack, we talked a lot about that in in previous episodes. And just because you can carry it doesn't mean you should. And journaling, even journaling even for five minutes, is one of the fastest ways to actually find the leak. So let's gently start looking. Okay, all right, friend, if you're someone who loves to journal, this is your moment that you're gonna want to take it all in. And if you're not, that's perfectly okay. You can reflect on the things that I'm going to be sharing while you're driving, while you're walking, while you're folding laundry, or sitting in a waiting room. You don't even have to answer them perfectly because it's just awareness right now. Just let them let them sit with you. If you're able to grab a notepad or maybe um your notes on your phone, if not, just breathe and reflect as we go through them today. And remember, this isn't about solving everything, it's just about noticing. And I have, what do I have? One, two, three, four prompts or four questions that I want to share with you. First one is where do we feel most drained right now? Or where do I feel most drained right now? Not last year, not in general, right now. Where do you feel most drained? Is it a specific person? Is it a responsibility that feels heavy? Is it a pattern you keep repeating? Or maybe it's just some thoughts in your head. Sometimes the leak isn't external. Sometimes it's the story we're telling ourselves. I want you to pause here if you need to. And if you're listening to this and on the podcast, you can pause it and really answer where do I feel most drained right now? And really be honest and see what comes up. Okay, the second prompt or question that you can journal about or just sit with is what do I keep saying yes to that leaves me resentful? Don't go too deep into it, just answer it. What keeps what do I keep saying yes to that leaves me resentful? Resentment is always uh almost a boundary leak. It's the tight feeling in your chest, the the internal ah, that moment when you think, why am I the only one doing this? Resentment isn't a character flaw, it's just information, it's showing you where your energy is slipping out. Why? What do I keep saying yes to that and feeling resentful for? Prompt number three is what input could I reduce? Input is power. What can I reduce? And as caregivers, we absorb a lot. Could it be the input? Could it be the news? Could it be your phone or social media? Could it be a particular conversation that always spirals? Could it be constantly researching? Hmm, that's Kathy raising her hand. Could it be even your own self-criticism or self-doubt? What could it be? Not everything needs your attention. Reducing input is one of the fastest ways to repair your leak or close your leak. Okay, the last prompt is when do I feel most steady or peaceful? When do I feel most steady or peaceful? This one is important because sometimes the opposite of a leak or of the leak shows us the solution. When you or when do you feel most like yourself might be another question. Is it on a walk? Is it in prayer or quiet time? Is it laughing with a friend? Do you feel the most peace or the the most steady when your house is quiet? When you're organized, when you're outside. The steadiness is a clue. It tells you what restores you. For me too, if things are too chaotic, I need my alone time or my downtime. That one really plays into it for me. So those are the four questions. I'll have them in the show notes as well. And just know that this podcast, you can scroll forward and backwards as it. And so as you reflect on the four questions, I want you to really don't judge what comes up. Don't minimize it. Don't immediately try to fix it. Whatever you wrote down should be what you wrote down. You should just be aware and just notice it. Awareness always comes before change. And sometimes simply naming the leak reduces its power. You can just say, Yep, I know what it is. Now I have to work towards it. Okay, let's just move on a bit here once. As you sit with these questions, as you notice where your energy might be leaking, I want you to know something very clear. You are not the only one navigating this. And one of my favorite parts of this podcast is when you reach out and share what's happening in the world or in your world. Because when one caregiver speaks up, it helps another caregiver feel less alone. So I want to share a few messages today in this bonus episode that came in recently. And I just grabbed a few. So if yours isn't here yet, it may show up in the next few weeks. The one I want to share with you is this person is a 14-year caregiver. She wrote, I'm now in year 14 of caregiving and always learning how to take better care of myself so I can continue to provide care. 14 years and still learning. This is no arrival point in caregiving, or there's no arrival point in caregiving. There is no moment where we say, okay, I've mastered this. It's awareness. And I'm sure when I'm I'm I'm just digging into it, 14 years haven't all been the same. They've probably there's probably been dips and and hills and valleys and hardships and chaos and then good times as well. So there is no moment where you can say I've mastered it because we all know every day may be a new day when it comes to caregiving, new medication, and new practice, whatever it would be. So it's awareness, it's adjusting, it's noticing new leaks and gently closing them. That's wisdom, not weakness. Okay, the next person that I'm going to share is her name is Rosa. Rosa shared something that really stayed with me. How caregivers get full days, not by, she said, not by marathon stretches of time, but by manageable moments. So how caregivers get full days, not by marathon stretches of time, but by manageable moments. Isn't that beautiful? Energy leaks close when we think in moments and not marathons. She also shared something from a Pilates instructor. It she said, move as today's body will allow. Oh my gosh, I love this. And today I'd say, journal as today's heart will allow. Not today's and not someone else's. Not yesterday's, not someone else's. So when she says move, her polity sex uh instructor says move as today's body will allow, use that universally. You might have moved better yesterday, but you can't you can't compare yesterday to today. You are focusing on today. Thank you, Rosa, for that as well. Okay. Whoops. Um the next one is a listener whose mom was recently hospitalized. She said the anchor episode, and that was in season one episode, came as the per came at the perfect time. And that's such a reminder that when seasons shift, energy shifts, crisis increases leaks, and and transitions increase leaks. New diagnosis increase leaks. And in those moments, you don't need to do more, you need to protect more. So thank you, she said, and I'm just gonna repeat it again. She said that the episode came at the perfect time, and that's such a reminder that when seasons shift, your energy shifts. And so we need to go ahead and think about that because we should be assessing those energy leaks often. Okay, here's another one, and her name is spelled similar to mine. Her name is Kathy, but I think she spells it with an IE. And she shared that she stopped watching the news and doom scrolling, and what a difference it made. This is the perfect example of closing an energy leak. So thank you, Kathy. She reduced the input and she gained more peace. Same shift shifts create big emotional relief. So, what could you maybe stop doing and gain peace or gain joy? I think that's just a perfect reminder. I and then I have another one here. Um, someone reached out and shared that the I feel slash I need boundary formula originally came from Marshall Rosenberg. And I think I used it from the book that I was doing. So I want to really thank you for the clarification. I love when people come back and saying, hey, it was from Marshall Rosenberg, when they had said, I feel I need that boundary formula that I shared, because it models something important. You are listening. We are all listening, we are all growing. And when we share knowledge with humility, we create emotional steadiness. And I want to invite you, if you found another quote or another formula or another statement that sticks out from you and you have the that information, please share it. Please share. We're all learning it together. Okay, and I have another one here from a clinical social worker. And she said she found the podcast helpful for her presentation. And that's when I was reminded, this work ripples. Yeah, it ripples. When you protect your energy, when you close a leak, when you set a boundary, it doesn't just help me, it helps you. And you can help further people. It helps your loved one, it helps your family, it helps other caregivers, it helps professionals, it helps the system. I would be honored to hear you share things that I share on my podcast. It's not a possession thing to me. It's about, I do this podcast because I want to go ahead and help other people. In turn, I want them to keep sharing that information and that knowledge. So let's go for it. Let's go ahead and shout it from the rooftops. When you share with me, you're helping other caregivers feel less alone. And when you listen to these messages, I hope you hear this. You are part of something bigger. You are not carrying this by yourself. And together, we can learn to notice where our energy is leaking and gently begin to close it. So I want to go ahead and I just have a few more sections I want to share with you. And hearing from caregivers reminds me of something really important. Like I said, we are learning in real time and closing our energy leaks. It doesn't require a confirmation, confrontation, not confirmation, confrontation. It doesn't require a perfectly worded speech. It doesn't require you to become a different person. Sometimes it's smaller than that. Sometimes it looks like limiting one draining conversation. How many times have you seen people just kind of say walk away from a conversation or use an excuse? Yeah. Or turning off the notifications after dinner, whether that's your phone or your emails. It maybe it's shortening a visit by 15 minutes because that's all you can handle today. Maybe it's asking for help instead of pushing through it, even if the help isn't your way. Maybe I I think I've talked about this before. I fold towels very particular. And when somebody doesn't fold the towels the right way, it makes me cringe. But maybe this time they have to be folded that way. Maybe it's saying not today without a five-minute explanation. Remember, we talked about that last week. Maybe it's protecting 10 quiet minutes in the car before going inside. We tend to think if something is leaking, we have to rip out all the plumbing. But here's the truth you don't need to fix the whole pipe. Just tighten one small piece. That's how relief begins. Not with force, but with gentleness. So here's what I want you to do this week. I want you to choose one leak. Choose just one, not five, not a list, not a full personal personality shift. One place where your energy leaks out too easily. Maybe it's no phone in the waiting room. Maybe it's no explaining yourself twice. Maybe it's no news after 7 p.m. I don't know. Maybe it's no self-criticism before bed. Maybe it's no answering text immediately. Maybe it's no carrying someone else's mood as your responsibility. Small shifts create steadiness, and steadiness creates strength. You don't need to protect everything at once, just one thing at a time. Try one this week. Okay, I want to say something clearly before we close. Protecting your energy is sacred work. It's not selfish, it's not dramatic, it's not weakness, it's wisdom. You deserve energy that supports you. You deserve emotional space. You deserve a cup that isn't constantly leaking. And every small moment of awareness and every quiet adjustment, every boundary you gently tighten, it Brings you closer to being the caregiver you want to be. Not from exhaustion, but from steadiness. Steadiness. If something came up for you in this episode, I want you to truly it. I want you to really think about it. I want you truly, I would truly love to hear it. That's what I'm trying to say. I would love to hear it. I would love for you to text me or reply to the email. I really would love to hear a leak. Share your leak. Share your shift. Share how you're going to steady things. When you speak it out loud, it loses some of its power. And remember, awareness is not weakness, it's wisdom. And you are wiser, my friend, than you think. Okay. Thank you for listening to this bonus episode. Next week, we'll be back to another new topic in the season two. Bye for now.