From Functional Alcoholism to $100M Business Owner: Meg Gluth's Sober Success Story

Join host Shelby John as she sits down with Meg Gluth, a confident sober woman, successful business owner, and advocate for long-term recovery. In this inspiring episode, Meg shares her transformative journey from struggling with alcohol as a coping mechanism to building a thriving life rooted in sobriety, purpose, and authentic living.

Episode Highlights:

Meg discusses her recovery story, from her Midwest upbringing and challenges with early sobriety to finding her path through AA and personal growth work. She opens up about losing her first wife to cancer while in law school and how functional alcoholism masked deeper pain for years.

Learn about the four essential pillars Meg built in her first five years of sobriety: building community through sober social activities, establishing spiritual practices like yoga and meditation, working with a therapist on emotional baggage, and prioritizing physical health through exercise and mindful consumption.

Meg shares practical strategies for maintaining confidence and emotional sobriety, including the power of personal accountability, keeping promises to yourself, and understanding that small, consistent habits create lasting transformation. She emphasizes humility as central to her approach, recognizing that your best thinking got you into trouble, and that there's always more to learn.

About Meg Gluth:

Meg is the owner and operator of a manufacturing company headquartered in Seattle with locations nationwide. Her business does approximately $100 million in annual revenue, supplying raw materials and components to industries ranging from home improvement to oil and gas. Meg is also a yoga instructor and passionate advocate for women in recovery.

Connect with Meg:

Visit www.megangluth.com for more information.

Resources Mentioned:

Laura McKowan's "We Are the Luckiest," personal therapy, yoga practice, AA fellowships, and remote neurofeedback therapy for anxiety and sleep support.

Half Serious
Real hardships, raw situations, gallows humor, and no matter what, how to keep going.

Listen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify

Chapters

• 0:00 Practice Expansion & Mission
• 2:39 Meet Meg: Recovery & Leadership
• 6:49 Alcohol, Coping, and Consequences
• 12:06 The AA Room and the “Yet”
• 16:39 [Ad] Half Serious
• 17:07 (Cont.) The AA Room and the “Yet”
• 17:47 Long‑Term Recovery Perspective
• 22:39 Humility, Accountability, Many Paths
• 27:37 Early Sobriety: Rebuilding Life
• 31:57 Habits, Neuroscience, and Trust
• 37:15 Practical Coping vs. Old Patterns
• 41:32 Parenting, Boundaries, and Calm
• 46:32 Business, Character, and Service
• 50:47 How to Reach Meg & Closing

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Well, hey there, sober ladies. Thank you so much for joining me today for the Confident Sober Women podcast. And it's been a little minute since I've been with you. And you may or may not know why. And it's because my holistic living therapy practice is expanding. So we've been putting in a tremendous amount of effort to locate uh good clinicians to add to our integrated mental health group practice here in the state of Maryland, and all of the things that go along with that. So I have hired a new clinician. Her name is Valerie Reynolds. She is uh lovely and uh works with children ages eight and up, as well as young adults and adults. She's ready to take on new clients. So we've been onboarding her and continuing to get the word out into the community as well as looking for additional clinicians to expand this practice to really help people uncover the truth about the lies they tell themselves and to get true healing below the surface. That is my greatest mission and value in life and in my work. So we are back, and today I have an amazing episode with uh my friend Meg Guluth. She's the owner and CEO of Catalint Solutions, and that is one of the largest certified women-owned chemical distributors in North America. She's been in long-term recovery from substance abuse, and she talks very deeply about her experience in early recovery, her use of the 12-step recovery program, Alcoholics Anonymous. We do talk a lot about kind of getting back to the basics, a lot of um AA speak and work, although we also understand and acknowledge, of course, that AA is only one possibility for getting and staying sober. It's just the one that we used, and there's lots of really good nuggets to take away from that. We also really deep dive into some spiritual components of you know emotional sobriety as well as the importance of daily habits and routines and transforming our lives in pretty much every single way. So I'm pretty sure you're gonna enjoy this conversation with Meg. So grab your big glass of water or your favorite mocktail and take a listen to today's episode. Hello and welcome to the Confident Sober Women Podcast. I'm your guide, Shelby John. I'm the mother of three, wife to one, and sober since July 1st, 2002. As sober women, we have something huge in common. And when we share our lives and our stories with each other, we feel that sense of belonging and connection. So we know we are no longer alone. In this podcast, you will hear real life talk about building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery. So come on, let's talk. Well, hey there, Meg. Thank you so much for joining me today for the Confident Sober Women Podcast. I am thrilled to have you here as our guest, and I can't wait to hear a little bit more about your story and my audience as well. So I'm gonna turn the mic over to you and let you share a little bit more about that. And then we're gonna talk.

SPEAKER_02: 3:34

Awesome. My name is Meg. Uh, I live in Seattle, Washington. I am uh first and foremost, a uh most of the time confident sober woman. And I say most of the time because I don't know if you hit 100% on those things. Um, I I think that's something that's always in progress like everything else. I own and run a company headquartered out of the Seattle metro area and have a plant in Chicago and business all over the world. And so that's sort of part of the story and part of the um the story of who I am on a day-to-day basis. I'm also mom to two young girls. Uh, so that's part of the story of who I am on a day-to-day basis. And I have um decided uh to do all of this in a way which aligns with what I would refer to as sort of my my dharmic path. I also teach yoga on the side, um, to take everything that's happened in life and sort of look at this as a way that I can be of service to other people. And by telling the truth and by living authentically, um, can just say, if you've been here, uh a lot of us have, and there is a way to keep moving forward. And I think when more of us do that, uh I think it can be really, really empowering and encouraging.

SPEAKER_00: 4:55

Thank you so much for sharing that. And I totally agree with that. One of the reasons why I love having this show and is because it gives me the opportunity to have conversations with other women who um have come from maybe completely different places than us, but also so similar, you know. Um, why I feel so deeply connected to the recovery community, particularly for women, and just um because of the nature of what we're taught, at least me anyway, um, that you know, we really aren't like our fellows, you know, we aren't like other people necessarily. However, we all come together and we have this one commonality. So there's a reason why I don't know how you got sober, but in like in the 12-step rooms, there's a reason why it kind of works because even though these are people that not would not normally mix, we have this commonality that kind of brings us together. Most of us know a thing or two about what each of us has gone through or felt without even hearing one bit of their story. And I I think it's one of those places, maybe one of the one of the only, maybe, or I don't know, but I know spaces where we can kind of come together in that way and and kind of automatically know who we all are, you know, without without having even one commonality. And um, for me, I think that is just central to my own formation as a confident sober woman. And like you said, I believe that we're all under construction until we die, right? I don't all growing, learning. Um, and the humility of that process as a human on earth is um for me anyway, uh pretty astounding, you know. Yeah. So yeah. For sure. For sure. So how did you um can you tell us a little bit more about you know your um kind of recovery story? Like how did you end up getting into that, into that space? For sure.

SPEAKER_02: 6:49

I'm gonna give you the highly condensed version. Um, I was raised in the Midwest in a small town uh in circumstances that were, I think, um everybody was doing the best they could do, right? But there's obviously uh every person around me's like wins and challenges were present in life. And so ultimately um my my upbringing story involves being raised below the poverty line. There's a lot of traumatic events, there's a lot of, you know, just just situations that just weren't ideal, right? And I always say that if you if you did the ACEs score, I don't know if you know what the ACES test is, but the adverse childhood, like I probably score relatively high on that, is what I would say. I'm always careful with that though, because I am in recovery and I have um been for a bit. And so I have an interesting relationship to um not really like I don't place a lot of blame on that. I I see everybody who is an actor in my story as a work in progress and a person doing what they could do with what they had too, right? So I'm always careful when I sort of talk about that because I don't want this to be something that leads to like uh the shame and powers of other individuals, namely, you know, the people who worked really hard all together in community to raise me. But that said, I uh I grew up in this circumstance and I somehow um ended up through the the grace of maybe a higher power in so many things, getting accepted to college. I got Pell grants, I got all of the financial aid lined up, I did all the things, and I was kicked out of college really quick after I started. And the reason for that is because I prioritized my social life, partying, things like that, drinking over my academics. And why did I do that? Because because alcohol, alcohol was my drug of choice, and alcohol was for me that thing that I think you're talking about, sort of these central points we all unite around. Alcohol was for me something that was deeply calming, it was deeply liberating, it was really freeing, and it gave me this sense of confidence. It's funny that you call your podcast confident sober women. Like ultimately, I think we start being unsober because of a lack of confidence in so many different ways. Maybe it's in our own internal resilience, that things like that. I used alcohol to cope, I used alcohol to escape, I used alcohol to fit in. And so, um, and so for me, that became more important because when you're using it for those reasons, it is so important to your survival. It's so important to your self-identity, it's so important to your happiness. And that was more important than going to class. And that was more important than getting good grades. Like I I didn't I didn't connect them on the same level. I had to take some time away from school, obviously. And I worked really hard to get my act together and prove to another university that I was worthy of being accepted. And I was, and I completed a bachelor's degree. Um, and in that time, um got, you know, finished my bachelor's degree and I had a degree in history. And it's it always an interesting story because when you have a four-year degree in history, four-year degree that took me seven years to get, you kind of have like two choices like you need to either continue your education in some way or you got to go teach high school history. And I was not interested in the latter. So I applied to law school and I was accepted to law school, and I was all ready to go to law school, and I found out a few weeks beforehand that I didn't have the financial aid package to make that happen. You'd understand that this is like crushing for me, right? Because I had worked really hard to do that. And um, ultimately a friend of mine's dad agreed to co-sign on my law school loans. And I need the listener to understand this isn't a small amount of money, okay? I'm financing the entire thing. I have no rich uncle in the story. I have nobody else has a credit score that can co-sign for me. Okay. And this person who doesn't know me super well agreed to do that. And he changed my life. Like, and his bet on me is a part of my story. I went to law school and while I was there, I soon after I started, I met um the person who had become my first wife. Gay marriage wasn't legal at the time, but we had a commitment and and um was absolutely just like everything was coming together. And midway through my education, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. And then soon after I graduated, she passed away. And I tell people that alcohol during this entire time was this thing that I learned to do functionally. And we have the term functional alcoholic in society for a reason, but I hate it because you you can define function. I I was doing everything right. I was studying, I was doing my work, I was also taking care of a terminally ill person. Like I didn't miss chemotherapy appointments, I didn't miss surgeries, I was doing all the things and I kept all the plates spinning and all the balls in the air. But inherent in this is this neglect of like my internal self. I'm not building any pride in who I am. I don't feel good about myself. A lot of the time I'm working through a hangover or I'm working through the desire to drink because maybe now I'm working and I know I shouldn't drink during the week, and so I'm not, right? But what I'm wishing is that I could. Like there's all of this lack of coping. Then I have this mountain of grief, this mountain of unprocessed stuff from childhood, just all these things I'd been avoiding, just hanging out. And eventually, some years um after she died, uh, probably three, four years after she died, I'd have to do the math. Um, it all kind of comes crushing to a screeching halt. And not in a big dramatic way. Like I said, it wasn't I was highly functional from what you would see on the outside. Um but but inside I was really caving in, and everything about me felt really hollow and I wasn't proud of myself. I'd wake up in the morning after drinking despite having made promises to myself that I wasn't gonna do that. Here I was again, and I said I'd only have one, and why can I never stop at one? I had an ultimatum uh from uh a partner at the time that was also life-saving and for which I'm forever indebted. And I made a phone call to my aunt and uncle, who had both been sober now for two decades at this point. And I said, I think I have a problem. They both kind of chuckled and uh because they kind of knew, you know what I mean? And uh and told me that I needed to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. I am not in this saying that that is the way. I'm not saying I I don't I I don't disparage any other people get sober in a lot of different ways. So I don't want to come across as being whatever, but that's where I went. And I was in my very first meeting, it was a women's meeting, and I'm in a basement of a church and they call on me, which for anybody who's ever been to a 12-step meeting and like your first couple times, this is highly annoying. This is highly annoying and offensive. How dare they like try to have me talk in their meeting of you know, losers of whom I am not like, you know, all of this. And I start by saying, you know, I've never been arrested. And this woman behind me says, yes. Now you're not supposed to crosstalk in an AA meeting. I heard them read the rules clearly at the beginning of this meeting. I am an attorney, I'm I'm aware that this woman is breaking the rules, and so I start to get like irritated. And I said, and I've never lost a job and I've never lost relationships, and she says yes. And I start saying all these things, and she is like adding yet to everything I'm saying. And finally I turned around and I was like, what is your problem expletive, you know? And she just kind of looks at me and she doesn't say anything else. And I said, So listen, I don't even know why I'm here. I don't know if I should be here. And that's like that's the end of my share. And after that meeting, every single one of those women came up to me and talked to me about how we think we're unique when we start this journey, but we're not. Like we're all to your earlier point, we're all kind of doing the same thing, and we're all at varying stages of those consequences and that various stages of that unmanageability. And it became clear to me in listening to them talk and listening to them share that maybe there were some problems with my relationships, and maybe there was a huge problem with my relationship with myself, and maybe there was a huge whole part of the internal landscape of my life that I'd been avoiding. And I uh I have been in progress on looking at all of that ever since, and I haven't had a drink since that time. And I credit the women in that room and particularly the woman who who said yet behind me as being absolutely life-saving parts of my story. And today, uh, you know, uh, almost almost 15 years later, I have um I have kids, I have a career, I have this life that I in co-creating with my higher power have built. And I have most importantly, like my dignity, my sense of self-worth, my sense of purpose and and spiritual alignment that I just didn't have then. And I think it's also important to say that I I am a person who can look at those things that I used to avoid really squarely in the eyes and and confront them and deal with them. Even the things that I do to this day that I'm not proud of, the mistakes that I've made that I'm not proud of, all of those things are things that I uh that I now welcome into my space. Uh and I think being sober has given me the ability to do that.

SPEAKER_00: 17:00

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Do you want to learn more about neurofeedback therapy? You can go to my website, www.shelbyjohn.com to download my free guide. Is neurofeedback right for you? Together we'll create the calm, confident future you that you deserve. That's www.shelbyjohn.com. Take the first step towards training your brain for lasting change. Absolutely. Thanks so much for sharing all that, Meg. I really appreciate it. And gosh, I can relate to so much. And congrats on you know 15 years and you know, being there's something really special about um kind of this long-term, whatever that means. I use the term long-term recovery, but uh, you know, I'm not, I don't know what the definition of that is anyway. But um, but we're in this space where it's been kind of like a while, like 10, 15, 20 years. And it, and I only say that because obviously we age and stage in all areas of our life. You don't have to be an alcoholic to do that. But um, there is a special kind of something that's going on, I think, for us when we are um, I say forced, but obviously it's always our choice. But when we are, you know, placed into the opportunity due to whatever life circumstances to do this level of personal work. I uh one of the reasons why I and I got sober a little bit before you, and so it's like I feel like it's very kind of old school um kind of 12-step. And I'm not a you know, believer that 12-step is the only way. I do think it's a great way, especially in the beginning. I still promote it when anybody asks, because I think you need fellowship, you need people doing sober things that you don't have in your life because we live in a country that worships alcohol. And then if you want to, then we just layer on, you know, we layer on good therapy, we layer on holistic wellness, we layer on nutrition and all the things. And that's my view on it, too. So there's more than one way to do this thing. It doesn't, it's all up to you, but um, you know, most people in the world don't. I was told, you know, like Laura McGowan, you know, her book is called We Are the Luckiest. And I really got connected with her kind of right after that came out. I read that book voraciously, and I'm kind of like, I really love it and follow it. And I think about that title all the time. In fact, sometimes I I say it, I get the opportunity to say that. Whoops, say that out loud, you know, like in my work with clients or just in my life, and I'm like, you know, we really are the luckiest. And I I love that for me because it kind of keeps it at the forefront. But what it means is really is because we have a design for living that really works, but most people are out here trying to live life with the same crap we're doing, the same stuff, but no guidebook, no tools, no, you know, I mean, uh, you know, so it's sort of like um, I do feel like that's and I remember being, you know, early on, and for years it took me a long time. Um, I was a sometimes slowly kind of girl. And so, you know, I'm sitting there thinking, like, what are these people talking about? Yeah, grateful recovering. I mean, I just couldn't get it. I was like, Why are you laughing? Why are they h you know? It was a long time. And then I finally was like, Oh, okay. And then, you know, more is revealed for sure. Uh, and then we just age and stage through that, you know, and you go through things like I had I was I had my kids after I got sober, so I got pregnant six months after I got sober, and then I had three kids in four years, and I don't recommend that. It's just how it happened. That's how it happened for me. But I remember getting to be like 10 years sober and thinking, like, I was not in a good space, and I celebrated my anniversary from the pulpit. I was like angry, I was pissed off, and I was like, Why am I still having to do all of this? Yeah, this is ridiculous. I should be further along because of whatever was going on in my life at that time, you know what I mean? So it's just the stuff of life, but we really are the luckiest because we have this guidebook and fellowship. Whether you follow the program or not, you're gonna find a way, you're gonna find the things that are gonna make you have to change everything. Yes, you know, and then drop you to your knees so that you can become a humble and grateful recovering alcoholic. That's that's the best part of it all. Um, we don't get there without all the yuck, you know. Um I love your story about the woman behind you. You know, there's always the one, and um, you know, we it's so easy to get pissed off about stuff like that, especially when you hear the things you need to hear in places like meetings. Oh, yeah, for sure. Whatever, you know, your first response is like, shut the hell up. Like, what are you doing? You know, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_02: 22:21

Accountability really sucks.

SPEAKER_00: 22:22

I mean, it does, it really does, but boy, is it helpful. And that and I I believe, I don't know, you know, I really do. I'm a big personal accountability person um for myself and in my especially and in my profession, it gets a little it gets a little funny. Um we have like some stuff happening and now that's you know, I don't personally necessarily relate to, and I feel like I'm combating, I'm trying to combat these new age concepts, and I'm like, actually, no, no, you still really are responsible for your 100% healing for your work. So um I yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02: 22:56

I think it's interesting because there's a lot of dialogue right now in the recovery space, and I think there's been so many other cool voices that have been added to the mix, but in so doing, some of them have decided that the what they got to do is dog pile on someone or some other way of being, whether it's AA or whatever else. And I'm like, that's sort of exactly what we're talking about. There is no anything in personal accountability or in a program of recovery that's gonna be 100% perfect, right? And so our desire to sit there and insult it and say, that sucks. I have a better way, is sort of missing the mark of what we're supposed to be doing, right? Which I was told in an AA meeting, take what you want and leave the rest. Like it's not easy to walk into an AA meeting as a lesbian and listen to people talk about God all the time if you've been hurt by that system.

SPEAKER_01: 23:43

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 23:44

But I'm gonna tell you right now that that was the place that taught me that the word God can mean a lot more than I ever thought it could. And the people in that room, some of whom were released from prison that morning, some of whom are barely ever hanging on to 24 hours, have taught me more about God than any church I've ever been into. And so you have to be willing to say, and and you keep using the word humility, that's what it is. Like maybe even I, in all my infinite wisdom, don't know a way that's better than this. And maybe I can see the imperfections in this, but I'm gonna take what I want and what I need, and I'm gonna lead the rest. And maybe just maybe the way I've been living my life hasn't always led me to to a way where maybe my way is always the best way, anyway. Like, I don't know if they say it in meetings where you're where you're from, but like your best thinking, right? Like my best thinking isn't exactly always ideal, right? And I have this like humility now that I that I move through the world with that I couldn't have gotten in any other place. I love what you say about layering things on top. I've layered 50 things on top of AA. But when I gotta go back to the basics of my life, I throw one dollar into a basket and drink shitty coffee out of a styrofoam cup. And it's amazing how clear things get. Do you know what I'm saying? It's like it it distills for us the essence of like you are by focusing on yourself, you are the catalyst for your own change. Full stop. And I think that's part of why it works.

SPEAKER_00: 25:13

Yeah. That was exactly the phrase that I was thinking about when you were before you said it, you know, our best thinking got us here. And that's that's so true. And I I understand now from where we're sitting, we can look back and think like we can see that. We can we can understand why that's hard to um uh to uh to put on, you know, because you're like, well, I know what's up. This, you know, I thought alcohol was the glue that was keeping me together, you know. I you know, I you know, so so it's hard to it's hard to to parse that out until you do some of the work. I've had the the pleasure, I guess, yeah, it is a pleasure for me, to work with a couple um people here recently in the last year or so in my practice, one of which um is a man, which is very interesting because I tend to work with mostly women, but sometimes I get some, and he is a chronic relapser or was chronic lifelong relapser, very successful, all the things, and like a little basically around my stage, has kids, you know, kind of similar lifestyle. And I I as a therapist, you know, obviously I understand all the things, you know, I do what I'm supposed to do to protect myself, I get it. But while I was working with a lot of these things over the months, I I just felt so um sad. And like I just wanted, I just wanted to pick them up and be like, just do it, like just do the thing, you know. Like, and I have and I haven't I had another one. I had like I had two or three, very I'm like, God, what are you doing here? Like, are we trying to what message are we doing? But I just was so I was like hurt by their I in a not in a weird way. I mean the first you know, whoever's listening, don't think I'm like doing some kind of weird counter transference. But it's really just like I just wanted them to get it because I know how good it could be, you know. I know so. I'm just sitting here looking at him and I'm like and so then he so then he finally did. Okay, so the mess the beauty is okay, yes, we're now several months in. This is the longest he's ever been sober. It's a beautiful thing, yeah. But this has been so fun too, watching this new this new stage and seeing him come in and like and all of that stuff that's going on, and like kind of the ego part that shows up, and the I, you know, I want everybody, you know. Well, you know, I uh not that he said sorry, but like he's doing other things, and and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so fun to watch. And also, like, you know, we had one whole thing, yeah. He explained us this um situation, we went through the whole thing, and I was like, okay, so cool, cool. Like you had those those cravings. Okay, cool. Um, so like tell me tell me what happened, you know. Like, let's walk through it. Like, like what happened to you right after that, you know, and he's like, Well, you know, I um I did some breathing. I'm like, okay, great, you know, I'm right, I'm breathing. I um I I went outside, I went outside immediately. I went for a walk. I'm like, okay, cool. Um, and I, you know, I tried to just um distract myself or he listed like two or three things, coping skills. I'm like, okay, great. Yeah, and then he's like, and I and I saw I said, Oh, okay. Um, did you call your sponsor? He's like, Well, I th I thought about it and I went back and forth, and I was like, I wanted to do it, and then I was like, Oh, okay, cool. So call sponsor, you know, and um what about um go to like get to a meeting, you know? Did you like do that? No, so it just the whole point was like it was like it was actually super fun for me, and like I think I saw like a light bulb too because afterwards I was like, Hey, you know, wouldn't it be amazing if we just took this part here and we just like moved it to the top? What if we did that? Like we just went like kind of just moved right on up there and we went to like program first, yeah. Because you've been sober for 60 days, okay? Right, you don't have you really don't have all the tools, so like let's put the program first. So, anyway, I don't want to make this a whole big A I mean, but I think that um what we learn here, and like I do use the word humility a lot because I feel so much of that in this later stage of life. Now I just turned 50 this summer, and I don't know, I've never been aware of my age ever in my life, but now I've become very aware of my age, right? Right. And I just feel I just I'm just so aware that, like, you know, it anything we do with anything, look at you with your business. You know, you you you can relate to this, right? Think tell and I'd love to hear it when you're starting your business, you're trying the thing, you're going to law school, you know, you're probably really, really smart. You got into law school, and then you have to go to law school, which is hard. My middle daughter wants to go to law school, so I totally and I'm working with her on this immediate, like literally right now. It's yeah, it's it's it's a$200,000 degree. We're not gonna pay for that. She's trying to work through it. She's terrified. Yesterday she's calling me saying, I don't, I just I'm starting my LSAP prep and blah blah blah. And I just you know, and she's all in a tizzy, and I'm like, Okay, let's just pump the brakes. Uh you know, she knows what to do, but she's just getting all things, you know. But then you go to do it and you get there, and it's hard as shit, right? Like it's hard. And now there's people there that are probably smarter than you, and you're like, Oh, so you're humbled again, you're you're dropped to your knees because you're actually not better than anyone. That's right, right? And I just don't understand. I think this is a missing link in society, our society. For sure. For sure. I feel like this is could be the key element to all things. You know, if everybody could my my second sponsor said one time, or she said all the time, if she said, I say all the time, I wish everybody in my life could get drunk and lose everything so they could come to AA. Yeah. Because then they would have what we have and they would know how to live life. Right. Right. I don't know. So these are the beautiful things you get to do when you stay sober. You know, getting sober is the hardest thing most of us probably are ever going to do until the next hard thing comes. But then staying that way is another thing, you know. And we know that sobriety is not just about stopping drinking or using, it's really about all the other things. And so we have to start to put in place the the tools and the skills and the and the lifestyles, and and and that's what you've been doing, you know? For sure. For sure. So I'm jury, you can say a little bit about that. Like if you could think back maybe into your first like five years, because I think that first five years, particularly the first year and then the first five years, is a lot of that stuff, like a lot of that's kind of special time when we're really opening up, our minds are clear, the fog is being lifted, we're suddenly aware that we can do things, we have opportunities. You know, we'd never had that before. And so then it's like, okay, well, what am I gonna do with that? You know, and so what what would you say besides AI? Like, let's get off that train. Like, what would you say are some of the things that you put into place that you learned that you had to learn and then you put into place that kind of helped you do that?

SPEAKER_02: 31:45

This has evolved over time because um, I want to be really clear for anybody who's in 24 hours or 60 days or whatever of sobriety, that sucked in a lot of ways. I had to learn things like, and this sounds silly now, but it you know if you're in it, you know what this is. I didn't know how to go to a wedding and not drink. Yeah, I didn't know how to go camping and not drink. I couldn't imagine what you would do on a Friday night if you weren't drinking. I had no skills for practical daily living. And so that's where, to your earlier point, some of that fellowship and just being around people who knew how to do those kinds of things was really helpful to me. And my early practices were centered around watching people who lived this way. What did they do? And and somebody said to me, find somebody who has what you want and do what they do. And so for a good portion of maybe the first year of sobriety, I was almost in a complete and total state of mimicry. Like I like if Shelby does this on Saturday mornings, that's what I do on Saturday mornings because I didn't really know and I didn't have skills. And then you start to add on how do you begin to feel feelings? How do I have a fight with someone I care about? How do I turn down going to happy hour and still have friends? And for me, what slowly began to happen is that I had a shift in my life. I I didn't really keep all my old friends, I didn't really keep all my old habits and routines, and I had to start to build something new. And so what was really cool about that, but also really hard a lot of us use alcohol because finding friends or being exposed or doing things that are vulnerable are hard for us. And so for me, I used AA as a like a safety net or like how to learn to do that, right? So maybe I would go to like sober hiking groups or I would go to sober things. And I I would say that in that first five years, specific things I did were to find activities and practices and like lifestyle things, like how to spend time with other people who weren't drinking. I really focused on that. And in today's culture, this is almost 15 years ago, right? Like now, not drinking is actually becoming more and more popular, even for people who don't feel they have an addiction. They're just not doing it because let's be honest, alcohol is a poison. And it is the only poison that you have to explain to somebody why you don't put it in your body. I've never been to a party or a work happy hour and had to explain to somebody, oh no, I'm not using heroin tonight. Like everybody gets that. But if I'm not having a glass of wine, then then there's this whole discussion of like, why not? People's bullshit comes out, like the whole thing. So the first thing I did and and the first practical tool I would say is like spend the time investing and finding ways to be social and connected and work through that stuff with other people who aren't using alcohol for that purpose. And lo and behold, a lot of those people are introverts or a little bit awkward or whatever. And so then I fit in in another way. Like it really worked out. The second thing that I think was really, really important for me was to get some spiritual habits, disciplines, practices. I became a person that, you know, I said earlier, I teach yoga. I'm a daily meditator. I have a lot of things that I do that are centered around that and learning, and I'm still learning, that there is only one authority in my life, and there's only one thing that I check in with to make sure that what I'm doing is okay. And that thing is not dressed like another person on this planet. It's not my parents' approval, it's not my coworkers' approval, it's not all of that. But getting connected to that and getting comfortable with that is part of my lifelong work. I think starting those habits and putting yourself in those places where people are doing that is another thing I would do in the first five years of sobriety because it will come in real handy when you're starting to work through your emotional shit, which is sort of the third element of this. I would get a really good shrink. And I would sorry, you're a therapist. I don't know if you like that word, but but um, I would get a good one that has experience with people who are doing what you're doing. And and I think um those three things being social, building community, building spiritual habits and disciplines, and then working on your emotional baggage. And I guess there's a fourth that's equally important. Alcohol is a poison. One of the things you start to notice after you get sober, and it gets better and better and better, is that your body feels better. Like your systems run better, your mind is more clear, like you're sick less often, you sleep really great. Like there's just a lot of things there. Um I'm an exerciser. I in various ways, like I you know, like whatever it is, but finding ways to to move my body, discharge energy that needs to leave, and then also mindfully consuming what goes into my body, not just in terms of food, news, social media, anything, any toxic people, like all of that. I I have a real filter for a lot of that built in. And I think those three or four things, like if you can start doing that in the first five years of sobriety, then all the stuff, what I call like the graduate level work of sobriety, like it has a foundation to sit on where you're supported in a way that's really healthy. Because there's no guarantee in sobriety that like then you're sober and life becomes easy.

unknown: 37:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 37:20

But it does become a lot more manageable in sort of a miraculous way.

SPEAKER_00: 37:27

Yeah, I totally agree. It's definitely life is always gonna life. We're all gonna have the lifey stuff. Some of us have worse than others, that's just the way it goes, you know. Yep. Um, and that's never gonna change. But um, you're right. Like what I always say is it becomes much more tolerable. Like when you are rooted in principles that um feel really good to you, that allow you to um express yourself, that allow you to really spend that time to get to know yourself for lack of a better term. Like you start to realize um, you know, that you that's where the peace comes from, right? And and it is that humility that I'm not actually better than anybody else. Like, I don't care how much education you have, whatever, we all have the same parts, you know. And um, yes, you have different skill set than I have, and that's cool. And but you know, we're really all just kind of humans trying to do this human thing. Um, and one of the best things about those kinds of habits and routines, I think, and because it's a huge central part of like my program. I mean, a big the big first part is like sort of attacking the negative thinking patterns and like really um sort of getting aggressive about that and understanding what they are for you, and then how do we reverse those? But then getting into that um creating the healthy habits and routines part is the is to me um, I mean, it's all important, but it's a big part of the meat of um becoming much more confident. And I say that it's back by neuroscience, that's just not just me saying that. Um, but um, because when we um do the same things consistently over time every single day, first of all, when we set that up, when we when we tell ourselves and we kind of become the kind of woman person who's going to do what she says, I want to be the kind of woman who does what she says. I don't break promises to myself. Now, that is not something we are accustomed to from our other years, generally speaking. And it's probably not even something we're accustomed to, even in sobriety. So we have to teach our brains this, and then you be kind of become the kind of person that does what she says, and so that over time done consistently trains your brain neurologically that that it can believe you. So when you say, when you're like Meg, oh, I'm gonna start um getting I decided I want to start getting up earlier to go work out, you know. I'm gonna set my alarm for five because I want to get that workout in, and you never did that before, and normally you're hitting the choose button. Your brain is like, yeah, no, Meg doesn't she doesn't do that, she's not gonna do what she says. But as you break that, you know, you break this, then 21 days later, or however long it takes to break that habit, you put something else in, you're training your brain literally to know that you do what you say. So then you go to do it, your brain's like, Oh, okay, you know, Meg does do what she says, she does what she says, and so automatically you're building you're building a trust in yourself, which is a huge part of insecurity, lack of trust in yourself is a part of insecurity, lack of confidence. And so this just builds that foundation for more and more confidence, more comfortability with yourself, the more ability to um have that peace and serenity because when you build those in in your day, your day becomes predictable, your brain starts to know, oh, and tomorrow morning, even though they're in the chaos of this problem, of this crisis, tomorrow morning, she's gonna sit in that chair with her coffee and her little book and do her reading. And like, it's like an insurance policy.

SPEAKER_02: 40:50

It is, it is, and I think too, we can look at like the results of these things. Like, I had a sponsor once encourage me, and this was really, really important. If something happens and the old you, if you get fired on a Friday, and so you're gonna spend your whole weekend in a bender about it, at the end of the day on Sunday, what have you accomplished? How did you're coping? Like, how did you're drinking? Like, what what what was the fruit of that labor? Versus a lot of the people I know who live in a sober lifestyle get fired on a Friday because getting fired still happens. And by Monday morning, they've talked to people who can encourage them, they've got a positive attitude, and they have like three or four job leads because they reached out to other people who were spending their Saturday like doing the thing and being like, hey, I know someone I can call and whatever else. And it's like, what do we create? What do we create with the energy we spend? And is going and doing this other destructive thing really going to solve that problem for us? This is not exclusive only to alcohol. Like, I have a theory that like everybody in our culture right now is kind of addicted to something.

SPEAKER_01: 41:54

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 41:55

It's food, it's shopping, it's whatever. If you spend your time doing that, what is the net effect to you? Did you solve this thing that you're trying to solve in doing that? And so it becomes really practical to me. And I think I was the kind of person that needed to hear that. Like, okay, even if I go do this, like I don't want to talk about the God thing, and I don't want to talk about accountability, and I don't want to talk about like my life has become unmanageable. I don't want to do any of that. Let's just say you go and you lean in and you're just getting hammered all weekend. Are you solving your problem? No. And do you feel any better? Guaranteed not. And I think that when you get real practical about it too, it like becomes even more of a catalyst for like, okay, so what are the things? And this is it. This is where the daily habits and the day and the becoming someone who does different things gets different results. It's it's science. If you do different things, you're gonna have different things happen to you.

SPEAKER_00: 42:47

Yeah, so true. And you know, it just the and the the cycle and culture of kind of being in that addiction, the addiction cycle, honestly, is I mean, it makes sense when you think about it. I mean, it doesn't make sense, it's not logical, right? But it makes sense at an emotional level because nobody likes you already talked about it. Like, we have to get comfortable with those feelings. Nobody likes that. You know, I even say that to all the time too. I'm like, I don't nobody likes doing this really. Oh, I want to go hang out someplace where nobody bothers me and I have sunshine every day of the year, and you know, I can drink my little lemon water and read my. I mean, no, nobody, it's not it doesn't always feel good, I guess is my point. And so, yeah, so getting really comfortable with being uncomfortable is a big part of it. But you know, in the beginning, when you just don't have, I mean, I think most of us would probably say, like, I I said too, like, I didn't I didn't have I didn't even know how to like feed myself properly or brush my teeth twice a day, or wash take care of my skin, like these are silly things, you know. You think everybody just knows, and we don't. So you have to build this thing in, whatever it is for you. You know, it's it's and it's and it gets fancier with time, you know. Like in the beginning, it's super simple. Just look at a couple things, like you mentioned, just look at the okay. So, if I want to focus on my social life or building community, give me like two ways like you can do that. So you're like, okay, I can um go to AA events, you know, or I can join a group in my like I like to cycle, so I'm gonna join a cycling group. Okay, cool. Yeah, you just find one thing, one thing to do, you know, or two things. That's it. So it's really about small, you know. It is, it is sustainable. That's right.

SPEAKER_02: 44:24

That's right. Starting really, really small. And and again, small things turn into big things. Yeah. And they feel big when you're getting sober too, because there is the axiom that if you keep doing what you're doing, you're gonna keep getting what you get. And so these little micro changes you're making are turning into what you get now, and that just compounds on itself and snowballs on itself. And I've never seen that not be the case for people who maintain consistent sobriety.

SPEAKER_00: 44:52

Yeah, and when you keep doing their work, you keep when you do maintain it and you do that work, that emotional work, the good therapy, like all of this stuff starts to become root, it becomes like that's right, it becomes habit on its own. So you're not really working at it. I mean, yes, you might put in specific things, but but a lot of it becomes habit. Like immediately you're gonna know. Um, like, for example, like something's going on. I'm like a very kind of solution-focused person. So, like, I just I just talked about that with a parent this morning, you know, about her kid, and her her kid is getting anxious and she's all in, and then they're getting into a back and forth, and she's upset, and uh and I'm like, okay, so like that didn't solve, like like you mentioned, that's that didn't solve now. Everyone's upset, all of the blood pressures are up. We're gonna have an angry time to go into school, and instead, like, how about if you become you become the the use your adult brain because you're the only one that has one, and you and you become the grounding source and the peace for her, you let her do her thing, and you're just saying, Okay, I get it, like like and you're validating and you do the thing, and you're like, and you're kind of and and you forgot your book bag, okay. Like, just run in and get the book back, and you're providing that solution. Let's deal with the solution first. Yeah, and I as I said you circle back, you can circle back later. This is not the time to be discussing why didn't you have your stuff out? Why didn't you put your clouds? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, like none of that, nobody hears that, and so you be right solve the problem, and then you can say later, hey, you know, I was thinking about that situation, and I just kind of wanted to go over it with you a little bit. That's that's where the piece lies, and that feels much better for everybody because now only one person is activated, the other one is in control, you know, and then you can have a conversation about later. So um, there's nothing more valuable, I think. Well, there, I mean, there is there's a lot of valuable, but uh one of the most valuable I think is really establishing very strong personal habits and routines. And for sure, you know, I know you're still doing that 15 years later, you're still doing that, otherwise you wouldn't be a successful business owner because that's just not possible. Um, we all need it, and now you have kids and you have to teach them.

SPEAKER_02: 46:54

And I think being accountable to yourself is like never-ending work, you know, and and the woman that I am today can't be the woman that I was yesterday. And I think too, I'm in a season of my life where I'm starting to realize too that like there are always going to be adults and people around you that are unhappy in their own stuff and they want to stay focused on you and your mistakes and your things because they just don't have other stuff going on, or you you provide for them a really convenient like excuse and scapegoat thing. And I see this a lot in business, right? Because I'm an employer now and I gotta you know what I mean? And so this is like next level work for me, right? Like, what a gift that I get to look at my life now and go, okay, like so. Now the the lesson here is like, how do I become sort of not permeable to that? Like, oh man, that sucks. That they're in that space and they're looking for me to sort of be the you know, the reason for their bad day, but like that's not my role. That's not what I'm about. That's not who I am. And again, that's about being connected back again to that to that thing that nobody else can really touch, that connection you have. I'm not there yet every day. Like, I I would love to say that every single day I wake up, I know exactly who I am. I'm super confident and no one can throw me off my game. That's not it, but I am committed to that end every day. I'm engaged in the practice every day of getting there. And when I get there, Shelby, then the new challenge will come. Because that's the that's the evolution of life.

SPEAKER_00: 48:23

That's right. So, in like the last just closing minutes here, I would love to hear just a little bit about your your company, the work you're doing. Like, I know your sobriety is amazing, that's why we're here, but you know, we're I'm all about like uh hanging out with women who are doing amazing sober women who are doing amazing things, like who have created. So I'd love to hear just a little bit about your origin story, kind of what you're doing, and and uh how we can get a hold of you if we want to.

SPEAKER_02: 48:44

I uh came to this company that I eventually bought as the company's first general counsel, and uh that was some years ago. I worked as the lawyer, and a really, really long story short, I ended up buying the original owner out of the business, which is a fascinating story because it's a large business. And I didn't have like again, we're not sitting on like my parents' trust fund that they left for me. Um, and so it's a really cool story. Um, we now have business all over the world. We do about a hundred million dollars a year in revenue. So we are uh doing a lot of really cool stuff. We um we manufacture things in our plant in Chicago. We make things that you buy at Home Depot and Lowe's, and we make things that you wouldn't even think about. Um the paint that goes on your wall. We also supply uh raw materials ingredients into the companies in America that make those kinds of things. So I have customers who make food and beverage items. I have customers who make uh drilling fluids in the oil and gas space, all sorts of things. So we supply the raw materials and components of that. It's so cool. I learn a lot about how things are made. I spend a lot of time walking through plants and watching how people craft things and and do research and development and all of that. Um, but all of this hangs on really, at the end of the day, no matter what size your business is, people have to be able to trust that you will do the thing you say you will do when you say you will do it. I don't care how good your contracts are, and this is coming from a lawyer, no matter what, no matter how roped up you are, your character counts and who you are matters. And being a person that people can trust and have confidence in is that's it. That's what it's all about. And if mistakes happen, things happen and no one is perfect. But being a person who can come and say, hey, I screwed that up or this is messed up, like it goes miles. And and and I I have to say that to people, and people have to say that to me every day. My sobriety gives me the ability to be sturdy in my own character and always working on that, but also really graceful with other people's humanity, with with people having a human experience. And so it's it's something that follows into every area of my life parenting, business, everywhere else. Like it gives me that kind of root fundamental core of how I move in the world. And I'm grateful for it. You're right. We we are insanely lucky. Yeah, I couldn't have told you that at 24 hours sober.

SPEAKER_00: 51:21

Maybe not at even 24 months, but maybe not, maybe not.

SPEAKER_02: 51:25

I don't remember to be honest.

SPEAKER_00: 51:26

Yeah, thanks for sharing that. That sounds amazing. I would be like the best person to have. Um, well, I don't think it would be valuable to you know I love manufacturing, I don't know much about it at all, but I love to see how things are made. And my husband's a CPA, he's a CFO for companies, and he's worked in a variety of spaces. And he was always in um, he worked with for caterpillar distributors who was in big equipment and stuff, which was super cool. But then now, and then he went to work in a distributor or in a manufacturing company, and I was like, I got to do a tour of the thing. I was probably this adult woman literally like walking through this plant with these other adults, and I was like, Oh my god, I know. Oh my, and these guys are probably like, What is wrong with you? No, I'm cheesed every time.

SPEAKER_02: 52:07

I love it.

SPEAKER_00: 52:08

I do it every day, and I'm just like, How do you get that paint on that steel? What I just can't believe it. It's it's amazing to me. I would love to see how things are made like that. So that's a cool job. That's very cool. Good for you, though. I mean, you know, it's very, very interesting where life can take us when we are um rooted in the truth, when we are grounded in um what when our values, you know, we know our worth. We just can't go into anything, you know, it's amazing. And we are responsible for that too. Like, obviously, sometimes things, you know, that's sometimes we're in the right place at the right time, you know. But um, so I think the people who really struggle around us are in our country that we see that are just constantly like like you kind of already mentioned, just unhappy, you know. Like I was actually interacting with some today online, and I was just wanted to, I just wanted to say, like, you just seem really unhappy. Yeah. But I couldn't do it because of the situation that was it would have just wow gone off the rails. But I kept thinking, like, here, I'm just I'm just giving you more material, and I guess that's my fault for continuing the conversation. But I was like, I'm unbothered by anything, anything you're saying to me, which is not very nice, by the way. But you seem really unhappy. Yeah, you know, that's exhausting. So tiring. I don't want to so tiring. I like my energy. I have very little of it. I want to be doing using it for good. So where can people reach out to you if they want to get a hold of you?

SPEAKER_02: 53:30

For sure. My website is www.megangluth.com. It'll probably be in your show notes. Um, that's the best way to reach me, the contact button there. I always tell people, don't send me a message on LinkedIn because I get like a thousand a minute, and uh I I don't read them all. So um, but yeah, that's the best place to go.

SPEAKER_00: 53:48

Perfect. I love that. I'll make sure all that's included. And I thank you so much for your time. Um thank you. I hope our paths across again. That was it was so fun. Awesome. Thank you. Thank you for joining me for this week's episode of Confident Sober Women. If you enjoyed this conversation, hit the subscribe button above so you won't miss any upcoming episodes. And hey, if you really loved it, leave me a review. You can learn more about the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership at www.sheltyjohncoaching.com forward slash inner circle. See you next time.