127 What are the real luxuries of life?

In this episode, I share my thoughts on a life about the luxuries of life that I came across on TikTok, but with an added twist: viewing it from a mid-life lens.

What are your thoughts on this list? Do you agree?

John 6v35: Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

Transcript

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Welcome to Living the Empowered Life podcast where we discuss all things empowering, encouraging and inspiring. My name is Yvonne Ellis. I'm an empowerment speaker, author, coach, trainer and founder of Uni Empowerment, a company that facilitates the empowerment of people. I help people to make positive life change, live in their purpose and develop into their best version of self. I share stories, interviews, spiritual encouragement and actionable tips to empower, encourage and inspire you to live the life you want. So if you want to live the empowered life, join me each week on my podcast so we can take the journey together.

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Hello, Empowered Lifeers. How are you doing?

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Welcome to the Live Windows Empowered Life podcast. My name is Yvonne, and this podcast is all about bringing you content to do with things empowering, encouraging, and inspiring. If it's your first time listening in, I welcome you. I hope that you will stick around to check out my other episodes. I talk on a range of different topics. We are now 127 episodes in, so I'm sure that you will find something that might pique your interest. And to those of you who have listened in continuously to these episodes, I just want to say thank you for sticking with me through the thick and thin, through my inconsistency, through the ups and downs. I really do appreciate you all. And for any of you listening in, if you haven't hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're listening to this podcast on, whether that is Spotify Podcast, Apple Podcasts, maybe the YouTube channel, Living the Empowered Life, I encourage you to hit subscribe or follow button so you don't miss the bi-weekly episodes. So guys, this is a late upload. And when I say late, this episode should have dropped, I think, on Monday, the 8th of June. I'm kind of losing track of all the days actually, but I was going to upload Monday the 8th of June, and just again, things that I needed to finish, deadlines and all that stuff prevented me from uploading. So I'm uploading this episode now, and next week I'll be uploading as well. So there'll be two episodes back to back for the next couple of weeks because obviously I fell behind with this episode, which was the bi-weekly one that was due on I think Sunday the sept Monday the 8th, and obviously next week another one was due. So I just want to apologise to you all for the late upload and thank you for you know seeking out this episode to listen in. I really do appreciate it. I'm coming up to kind of a time where I'm gonna have some time off from the busyness of all the consultancy work and different things that I'm doing. Also, at the moment, I am trying to put together an afternoon tea for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I've been doing these events for a number of years now, 2013-2014, and then in California in 2019, I did a luncheon event, and it's basically an event to bring together survivors of childhood sexual abuse, you know, have afternoon tea, entertainment, speakers, all that stuff. Fortunately for me, I have somebody who's helping me this time around. My lovely young lady called Jessica, who's kind of my event assistant. But I'm trying to put that on on September the 12th, so there's that to consider. But I am looking forward to having a little bit of a break soon and just getting back to doing some of the things that I love and sharing that with you, getting back to vlogging again. I haven't done any vlogs in a while, so I'll keep you guys updated when I do all that stuff. But today I want to talk about in this episode, episode 127 of Living the Empowered Life Podcast. What are the real luxuries of life? And I will premise this by framing it that I think once you get to midlife, I think you're able to kind of see the you know, see with clarity what are the real life luxuries. I don't think, and I could be wrong, in your 20s, you know, you're thinking about all that stuff. I think towards probably from about mid-30s upwards, you start to really think about in my experience that happened anyway, what are the real luxuries in life? And I was inspired to do this episode because as I was scrolling on TikTok, I saw like a little post about what are the real luxuries of life, and I just wanted to kind of add my commentary to this post, and maybe you know, when I do the post notification upload, maybe you can add, you know, whether you agree with the list or if you have you know your own kind of list about what are the real life luxuries of adult life of life. So I'm just gonna get straight into the list today. So the first thing on this list is live it living 10 minutes from work. Well, for me, I work from home. For me, that is a real luxury. I had to make a lot of sacrifices to be able to work from home. As many of you know my story, from the age of 18 upwards, I worked in a various range of different traditional employment jobs working directly for an employer. And at 41 years old, I decided I had enough of the rat race and decided to set up my own company, which had been on my heart for two years before that. Own consultancy training, personal development media company, Yumi Empowerment. If you want to check out what that's about, links in the show notes, and it's going to be getting going through a whole revamp soon. I'm working with my webmaster to revamp my website. But that for me, working from home is a real luxury. I remember going into work and absolutely hating having to go in to be in the environment that I was in, working amongst people I didn't really want to be around, bar a couple of people who were actually, you know, acted normal at work. But for me, I think yes, that is a real luxury to work from home. And maybe you live not far from your workplace, maybe that's a good or a bad thing. Maybe, yes, it's convenient that you're 10 minutes away from work, but maybe you hate the job, so maybe it's a bit bit sweet for you. Second thing on this list is living 10 minutes from the gym. I actually live across the road from a gym, and for many years I attended that gym, but then it kind of went downhill. I would say for me, instead of living five minutes from the gym, just being able to go on my walker in my house. I have a walker which I do my steps on every day. Depending on if I need to make up steps, I might, you know, finish my steps off on my walker, or if it's really cold or raining, I can do my 10,000 steps. That for me is a real luxury. Having my own weights to do my own kind of strength training in my home is a luxury. I don't know for a lot of people whether they consider living five minutes from a gym a luxury. Depends if you're into fitness, I suppose, and exercise. You know, maybe that's not a luxury for you. So the next thing on the list is having quiet neighbours. This is a blessing. My neighbour is a blessing, has been a blessing to us ever since we have lived where we're living now. I remember the good old days back in Croydon when I used to live in Croydon, living next to neighbours who were quite combative, and it was very different difficult at times. I don't think people understand how it adds to your quality of life to have a nice neighbour, to have a neighbour who is respectful, who doesn't display antisocial behaviour. Unless you've been in that position, it might be hard to kind of put your head around. But having a neighbour that you get on with, that you trust, that you're able to have conversations with, where you can do things, little things for each other, to you know, build that kind of neighbory relationship. Growing up on an estate, community was always a big thing in the 80s. We knew our neighbours, our neighbours knew us, you know, we could rely on our neighbours for different things, and they could rely on us. So I've grown up seeing you know the kind of power of having a good neighbour and a good kind of neighbourhood community, and I do think it is a really good thing. The next thing on this list is having money at the end of the month. Now, for a lot of people, that is definitely a luxury. For me, it's definitely a luxury. It is not nice being in a position where your money is being eaten up every single month by bills, by demands, by expenses. It's not nice. I've been there so many times, and I'm sure other people have as well. That is one of the kind of motivating things that's helped me as well to step out to start my own business because I realized that I had skills, talents, and experiences to, you know, kind of diversify my income and increase my income, and that's what I wanted to do. Having a one-strand income just from an employer for me meant I was in this thing where money would just bills and that would just go out at the end of the month, and that's it. I'm on the road to becoming, you know, having a better kind of kind of streamline with incomes because I obviously I have different revenue streams, but to get to kind of them, to maximize them and get to where they need to be is still a work in progress. But I'm blessed and thankful that God has blessed me with skills, talents and experiences, with creativity, to know how to, you know, um package things, to make things, to do all types of stuff to bring in income. But definitely having money left at the end of the month just to be able to do little things, treat your family and stuff, I definitely do think is a is a good thing because it's so demoralizing and horrible when you're working and it just feels like you're working to pay bills. I've been there and it it's not a nice feeling, it really is quite stressful, but you know, everything is a process. So, you know, I'm still on my journey, it's nowhere near as bad as it used to be. Thank the good, thank the good Lord. And I hope that if you're in that position, that you can get on some type of journey where you know at least at the end of the month you'll have a little bit more money. Maybe it's to pay off debts or things that you know you need to do, or maybe it is to increase income, but you know, it definitely does make a difference in life when you can get to the end of the month and you've paid your bills and there's still a little bit left over. Very hard in this day and age with the cost of living, I know. This one is very important for me. One of the real luxuries of adult life is having peace at home. It is a real luxury to have this, especially if you are in a relationship, if you are married. Living with somebody else can be quite difficult at times. But for me and my husband, one of the things we definitely do agree on is peace in the home benefits both of us. Also, as well, just in general in life, I like a peaceful life. I don't surround myself with people who are into drama, who are into gossip, who are into causing trouble. I am at a stage in my life, I'm gonna be 50 soon, you know, and I'm at a stage in my life where I don't want anything in my life to disturb my peace. And this is a biblical thing as well. God says we are to live in peace with others, work hard and mind our own business. You know, I think it's in the book of Thessalonians, but this is something that I try and live by. I like my peace, I like peace and quiet. You know, I have no children now who are well, have children, but you know, they're adults now. I don't have any toddlers or babies running around and stuff like that. So at this point in my life, I'm really enjoying having my peace, being able to just sit and read a book, be able to have quiet time, all that stuff. I think that is a real luxury in life, but it's a luxury that you can create and have in your life. Some people like drama and calamity and noise and stuff like that, and always living in an argumentative state. That's not the way I aspire to live. I love my peace. The next thing on the list is drinking coffee without rushing. Not really a big coffee drinker to be honest with you. I like my decaf. My husband is the kind of coffee person, but I would just say just being able to have my drink or to have my lunch or whatever it is without rushing is definitely a luxury. I've been in times in my life where I'm very busy with work and I'm eating on the run and all that, and that's not really good. But yeah, I suppose that's a luxury, you know, just to it shouldn't be a luxury, but yeah, I suppose some people, for some people who are always on the go, that probably is a luxury. Sleeping with a clear conscience, I don't have any problem with that. That for me is just something that should be a way of life. It shouldn't be a luxury, it shouldn't be a luxury. You do unto others as you have them do unto you. If you're not going around troubling people and doing wicked and malicious things to people, why would you not sleep with a clear conscience? That should be a standard thing. But yeah, I suppose you know people, you know, may have things that they've done to others that may, you know, play on their mind and stuff. That's why, you know, it's just important to just confess those type of things and get it off your chest. The other things on the list are laughing with people who truly get you. I wouldn't really know much about that. You know, a lot of people misunderstand me a lot of the time, but you know, have a good laugh with my husband and my my daughter. Traveling every year, something I'd like to get into in my 50s. Me and my husband have been talking about this, starting to travel and things like that. That's something that is on our list. Waking up without an alarm, that happens sometimes. Is that really a luxury? Waking up without an alarm? I'm not sure. This one's quite interesting. Having a body that doesn't hurt every day or doesn't hurt today. I mean, as you get older, you definitely do get the little kind of aches and pains, but stretching really helps with that, I think. It's part of life, isn't it? Where you get older, especially as you hit midlife. And for a fact, midlife is not 50, midlife is actually 38 because the average lifespan is 76 years old. If you live beyond 76, you're truly blessed. But I always used to think 50 was or 40s, 50 were mid was midlife. So if you're 50 is midlife, then it would be 100, which not everybody lives to 100. But anyway, I digress. That was just an interesting little fact that I came across the other day. But as you get older, you know, your body changes, and you know, you can see that you are getting older. Best thing to do, you know, if you're feeling those aches and pains, as I said, stretch, exercise, look after your body, that is the best way to try and combat it, I think. The next thing on the list is owning your time on the weekends. I suppose if you, you know, as I said, I've got children that are grown up. Obviously, you own your time on your weekends. That's a real luxury, I suppose. Saying no without guilt. I went through that phase for a very long time in my early 20s, 30s. I've talked about it on this podcast before. Going through sexual abuse, having my boundaries over a road by my father for many years. I found it hard in my adult years, some of my adult years, to say no. I felt bad about saying no and things like that. But as I worked through my self-esteem confidence issues, as I dealt with the issues in therapy and everything else, I learned to build strong boundaries and I don't feel bad about saying no. I don't feel guilty for saying no about something that I am not comfortable with. If the other person wants to try and guilt trick me for that, or they want me to feel bad because I say no, that is on them. I don't take that on board at all anymore. But I know there are loads of people out there just through empowerment coaching, through having the different conversations that I've had, who feel bad about saying no to family members, to parents, and they and when they step away from that, from not saying no, they feel terrible because it's something they don't want to do. And I think as we get older, we need to be comfortable saying no to things that don't that we don't want to do, saying no and putting strong boundaries in place. A lot of people out there don't have boundaries, they think that you should just accommodate them just because they are who they are and they don't like it, or they don't like people who put no and boundaries in place. But put no in your life, you know. Learn to say no without guilt. I'm telling you, it will make such a difference. Last couple of things not checking your bank balance before small purchases. I think that that should just be a common thing you do. I don't think that should be a luxury in life. I think that's part of good money management to still check before you make small purchases. Using budget trackers and things like that, just because you have money in the bank doesn't mean that you need to be not diligent with it. You know, I've learned a lot through the book of Proverbs about money management because that was never one of my strongest points. As I've got older, I've got better. But you should be checking your bank balance, whether it's small purchases or big purchases, because circumstances can change. Sometimes, if you're doing loads of small, small purchases and you're not checking, you know how things can head up. So, you know, I wouldn't even say that's a luxury, I would say that's a necessity to do to check your bank balance before any purchases. And the last thing on the list is feeling calm about the future. For me, I think this has come through my relationship with Christ. I used to spend a lot of time worrying about the future, and I don't I'm not saying that there are times where I still don't have those kind of moments, but I really do think that you know having peace, a peace that surpasses all understanding, which comes from God, helps to manage that. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, no one knows what will happen in the future. Anything can happen. This is life, but I think one of the things that, or the main thing that really helps to just manage that, no matter what happens, and this has been from my experience, is knowing that my peace comes from God. And no matter what comes my way, I know that God will have my back and God will help me through whatever situations I go through, like He has for my nearly entire 50 years. So for me, yeah, that is a real luxury to have the peace of God. So, guys, that is a little list that I came across called What Are the Real Luxuries of Adult Life? And I framed it in a sense of looking at it from midlife, like 35 upwards. I think on the whole, I agree with most of this list. I think that I will probably do an episode of my real life luxuries and see and think about that and see how you know it differs. As I said at the beginning of the episode, let me know when I drop this episode, whether it's on YouTube, on Instagram, or my Yumi Empowerment, Instagram Yumi underscore empowerment. Let me know if this is on your these things are on your list. Are these your real life luxuries? Or is there something that you feel is missing from this list? If so, then please do share it. So as we finish the episode, I just want to share the Bible scripture with you that comes from John chapter 635. The NIV version of the Bible, it says, Then Jesus declared, I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. This is the real luxury of life because Jesus is the bread of life, and in him you will never be hungry or thirsty or lack any good thing. For once you have that, once you have Jesus, once you have his presence, his power in your life, you know, everything else will fall into place. You know, you will learn to discern what are the luxuries for your life, what things you don't need in your life, and you will live accordingly. So, guys, that is it for this episode. Thank you for joining me on this late um upload. I will see you on the next one. Take care.