Ep 117: 4 Simple Questions to Discover Why You Self Sabotage Your Dream Goal

What do Self-Sabotage, Procrastination, Perfectionism, Lack of Clarity and Indecision have in common? If you see patterns of these in your life, it is a high indicator of change resistance coming up for you.

Along with this Episode, I added a tapping for change video on my YouTube Channel here: Addie Beall YouTube Tapping: It's not Safe to Change

In this episode, I share my big Aha's doing these 4 Simple Questions round my weight loss goal: 

1. What will happen if this changes? 
2. How will other people feel about it? 
3. What pain might I experience if I make this change? 
4. What will I lose if I make this change? 

I can't believe what came up for me!!! Tune in to hear my ahas, and do this yourself!

As a bonus, ask yourself these too:

What's the upside of staying stuck where I am (or keeping the problem)?
and
What's the downside of things changing? What will be different?

Oh vey! Looking at some of the "negative" aspects of what is holding me back is something I have done sporadically, but I'm going all in on because it is time to level up my changeability, and I'm taking you all with me!

Resource for this Pod:
The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living by Nick Ortner
(Highly recommend getting the hard copy to reference tapping scripts, etc)

Do the work with me and join the WBAC (Witches & Bitches Abundance Circle)
https://slayer.clickfunnels.com/abudance

AddieBeall.com
YouTube for more tapping videos and podcast LIVE @addiebeall2574

AddieBeall.com


Get Social with Me!
Facebook Namaslayer (LIVE weigh in Sundays at 7 AM Mountain / 9 Eastern)
YouTube Addie Beall @addiebeall2574
Instagram @addiebeall_namaslayer

Transcript

Do you know that there is something magical inside of you but you don't know how to uncover it? The Heartsing Podcast is dedicated to just that helping you put yourself first and figure out what lights you up. I'm your host Addie, B aka Slayer of Namaslayer. And through my journey of losing nearly a hundred pounds, uncovering the magic of my soul and building the life of my dreams,

I'm leaving no stone unturned in the process of self-discovery. And I'm here to share it all with you. So let's get started. What's up everybody? Addie Bele here with the Heartsing podcast. And I guess the universe wants me to record this on video today. So I guess I'll upload the YouTube too in case you wanna watch in person because I can't get my audio to work on my audio player.

It's all kinds of static. So thank you universe, I guess. Glad I put makeup on today. There we go. All right you guys, today's podcast episode, I'm gonna share with you four simple questions that can help you uncover that thing that could be sabotaging your path to col to goal or things I should say, these underlying beliefs we might have that are keeping us there.

And this was so interesting to me. So I'm doing this book called The Tapping Solution by Nick Ortner. And I'm leading this in my witches and Bitches abundance circle, the W B A C, which is open to all come do your work with us. Like we are basically a self-help group that's morphed out of my sisterhood. So if you want to get in and do the work and actually take action on some of the self-help you're reading and doing out there,

this is the place we're doing it, right? So I'm moving through this book and I'm teaching as I'm learning, so then I'm learning even more because you know, the teacher becomes a student. And I shared with you on the podcast a little bit last week about the impact of the tapping solution, how I feel like it's gonna be such a game changer on my quest.

Well, this week wait till you see what I uncovered. I'm like, oh my gosh, because I had switched from my main goal being my weight loss goal, but this past week I saw myself slip into eating habits in I'm up on the scale and things like that, that I decided to do this exercise this week on food and and overeating and weight.

So hang in there for that. But it also is going to tie in with my big badass money goal, which is a million dollars just to push myself all the way beyond my belief and figure out how to move my belief toward this big impossible goal, right? It's just, it's much less the number than who I'm becoming in the process of figuring out what I would would need to do.

Who would I affect doing that? And so, so similar to my weight loss goal of 1 62, my why. And so I wanna challenge you too. So there's a few things we're gonna go through in this episode today. I want you to think about your why. We often talk about the why of a big goal and being a future self guide.

I spent a lot of time coaching, guiding, leading in the energy of creating that future self. And not so much like going back and dwelling on the past. And you know, kind of just rewriting your story now, like the, the future in the now is what, what you make of it and where we're at. However, we have this underlying current of old beliefs,

old limiting beliefs, all of those things. And this is my year to squash those. So you are here for that ride. So if you are ready to start pulling up some of these things that are stopping you from moving forward to your goal, whether you're ready or not, having this information, your ear and actually take a pen to paper with some of these things later,

I'm gonna put in the show notes, the four questions that I'm gonna share with you. These four simple, easy questions that are going to help you uncover your things that can be self-sabotaging you. So these things self-sabotage when things are starting to go well and you find some way to screw it up, right? How about procrastination? You, you're not starting or following through,

your perfectionism is getting in the way and you have to be totally right about something before you move forward. Or your lack of clarity, right? Where you're just not sure what you want and in decision coming from that, you know, not deciding to move you forward. What these are all signs of is our resistance to change. And I was like,

oh, ding, ding, ding. Cause I am moving, always moving through and trying to like move myself to that next level and change. But I also know I go through this period, and you guys can probably identify this after I go through a big change in a new big step in my next version of myself and having lost about 120 pounds,

I'm a little up right now, 130, 120, depending on when you're checking in with me. You know, having lost that weight, I noticed this every 30, 20 to 40 pounds in there. It was like I'd hit this, this space where I kind of had to catch up with myself and it was like I was shutting these old beliefs of who I was.

And moving into this next version I, what I eat now, how I show up in my life looks nothing like I did 300 pounds ago. And yet I still see some of those rearing their head, which is why I did today's practice. I'm gonna share with you on weight loss because I'm driving toward this money goal and noticed myself overeating, doing things that weren't serving me.

And yeah, so anyhow, I decided to go ahead and do this on my weight loss. So hopefully some of you guys, everyone out there there can identify probably with all of us because don't we pick that goal and we say, yes, I want it. I never didn't want to be in a thinner, healthier body. You know, like I'm sure you would say,

what is that thing you want? What is that goal that you want so badly more than anything? Is it to like be in the thinner body, you know, have more money, have a better relationship, heal your body? Like what is that thing that you think you desire more than anything in the world in that you're like frustrated with yourself because you feel like you,

it can't happen for you, that you can't get there, that you can't move there? And by the way, I did it tapping for that, that I'm gonna upload to YouTube too, to help you tap through that sequence. If that's you about why about you thinking that you can't move toward that goal, right? That it, you're the, you're the unicorn,

it can't work for you, right? Like you don't have meridian points, you don't have all of that stuff, you know, like, like the rest of the human species, it couldn't possibly work for you. Everyone else can do it, you know? So if you struggle with that, which a lot of us do at different periods of time,

we think, oh that won't work for me. So we don't try it. And for me, this has been an experiment about trying all the new things I can, seeing what's gonna work for me. And I take bits and pieces from everywhere. So get out there and try new things. But what happens is you're gonna come up to this resistance to change this.

You're either gonna procrastinate, step into self-sabotage, you're gonna give up, just throw, throw, throw the white flag or whatever it's called. You're gonna surrender and just stop trying, right? Because you think that you can't get there that it can't possibly work for you. So in all of these things, so doing this exercise and it's these four questions and so here's,

I'm gonna give you the four questions here and then we're gonna kind of go through them. But I want you to first think about your why. Like that big goal. I just challenged you to think about like what whatever that is for you. Whether it's your goal weight, the money goal, the relationship. I want you to picture it and what is your why?

Like most of us have picked out a why we want it. We think we know why we want it. We wanna be healthier. We're we're scared of dying. We want the thinner body, like whatever. Hopefully you developed a why that's positive in some manner to you. You know, when I first started it was, so I looked Hannah on my motorcycle,

right? Like I wanted to look good on my jeans, I wanted to feel good riding around on my bike. And then, you know, now once I got there, it became about something else. And I would say after about 65 pounds lost, it really came became about a quest for me to figure out how to become this person where I just fuel my body where I don't eat through emotions where food is there to fuel my body.

And I'm still on this quest, you know? And every time I get the flour and sugar out or I do some fasting and I feel that, I feel the power of the food is fuel. I know I'm closer and there's fewer times I go back to letting the sugar in where I go back in these spaces and I know eventually I'm gonna be that person that just is that way and I'm gonna have created this life that I eat to fuel my body because that's my why and what I desire.

However, what is keeping me from achieving that goal, right? So I took these questions and I was like, what change am I afraid of? And I, so I wrote my final weight cuz obviously I've got something blocking me from hitting 1 62. You know, I set out at the beginning of this year and I had like 40 pounds to to lose yet and I had gone up and down,

that kind of thing. And so I'm at, well I was at like 20, now I'm at 30, so I've lost like 10 pounds for whatever, like somewhere in there, right? It's all kind of, maybe that's part of the problem, right? But I'm like the limiting beliefs that are underlying that are keeping me from this final weight. Like I am in this process right now of digging all of those things up and like my spirit guide said,

just whack-a-mole in 'em. Guys remember that game where you just hit the hit the little moles coming up at like Chuck E Cheese or whatever, right? Like just pounding those bad boys out. But in order to do that, I've gotta look at some dark stuff again and pull it up. I've done a lot of shadow work. I did, I've done Debbie Ford's dark sided light cha chasers like four or five times probably.

And I constantly pull up new shadows. But this tapping process is giving me a way to also process those shadows. And I'm gonna be sharing some of those with you guys and I think I'm gonna use my YouTube channel for that too. So go over to Addie Beale and subscribe if you wanna do some tapping with me. I'm going to practice tapping through some of this weight,

some of these limiting beliefs that are coming up. Okay? So hopefully you've got your why and you're thinking about, yeah, I really wanna lose this weight because I wanna look good, I wanna feel good, I wanna be healthy, I wanna get off my medication. Whatever your why is, okay? And now I want you to ask yourself these questions.

You're gonna ask yourself the first one we're gonna think about what will happen if this changes? So what is going to go on differently in your life? What do you think you need to do differently if you, if I hit my goal weight, so I said I will no longer eat and work mindlessly like I do, I feel like a part of me enjoys this for some reason it's like a bribe to myself.

You can design and Canva if and watch a show while you eat if you do this work. And that's old work habits coming in. And so I, I was like wow. So, and and mind you, my creation, my putting the value into the world to reach my money goal is obviously connected to my weight goal, right? Because in order to put more value,

I'm needing to do some of these things that make me uncomfortable that I might not know how to do yet that I am creating. So I don't know exactly how it's gonna go and it's uncomfortable till I put it together and it's fabulous, right? So it's like that in between uncomfortable space and I'm eating it right? And it's like I'm bribing myself with it.

So I think I will no longer have that to help me push through and create is what came up. And I need to back up for a hot second because I needed to tell you about that. I actually calendared my week out and I feel like a badass with my calendar. So to preface this eating this week, I had a great session with Light Seeker who is practicing her Chopra coaching on me.

And so I, I got to show up and I knew I needed to do this calendar you guys, like I was in spinning and overwhelm. You heard me on the podcast last week. I was talking about all the things I had to do and some of it was on a calendar, but like I didn't seriously sit down and do the process of getting everything outta my head and everything onto a calendar.

So I did that. It took me three hours on Saturday cuz it had been a long time since I completely cleared and I've shifted so many things in my business, what I wanna create. It was big, right? So it got everything on that calendar and I was like, and I'm gonna show up for this. And I left myself space to take care of me.

I left plenty of blank spaces. I've learned over the time to know that when I say I'm gonna create a podcast, it's probably gonna take me two hours cuz audio is not gonna work or whatever. So I blocked extra time for myself. I made it very achievable to show up and yet, and yet as I'm showing up as it's getting later in the day and I'm getting tired,

instead of breaking and meditating, I was going to sugar and I went and got sugar and that's why I did it on this, okay? So because I saw myself, I was taking massive action, like showing up like millionaire Addie would, but he was eating like old corporate Addie did. Now there's pieces of corporate Addie, this is my past self.

If you're just joining the Heartsing podcast community, hey corporate Addie who ate herself into 300 pounds while she was showing up for everybody else in her life versus myself now who shows up for MEfirst and provide so much more value to the world in this thinner, healthier body. So how do I marry these two selves on this, on this path of creation, of embracing corporate adds skills that are gonna help us reach more women and enlighten more lives.

You know, how do I embrace both of those things? So that's a little more background. So we have that first question. So your first crap question, what will happen for you when you change, when you reach that goal? What is going to be different? I'm gonna pull up a lot of stuff there. I'm telling you do this, okay,

in the next question, question, how will people feel about it? How will other people feel about it? And he has an exercise on the next page that really brought up more of this for me. But I wrote excited for me, but then I wrote even more of a unicorn in is that keeping me like am I feeling like maybe you aren't gonna identify with me as much when because I like being able to see people in the moment going through change.

Yet it's my passion to help people that were like, like when I was in my 300 pound ball of misery, but also I know I wasn't ready for me now then, right? It's like I wanna be identifiable at all the things in all the stages and you know, for Bec worrying about subliminally becoming that unicorn that I'm not gonna be able to reach these women that need to know that they can do it too.

Like you can do this, you can take the weight off, you can, you can do this. It's all in our minds, in our hearts and if we can get still, we can make this happen. But I to like in my head to be believable because of beliefs I have about it, right? So good. I was like, I didn't even know like cuz I thought,

what are they gonna think? Oh, people get jealous, right? Like, oh I, I would like to be like her but I never could. That whole disbelief in their self comes up, right? Like this is like a perception I have versus if you are like a little bit still there, like a little bit still on the struggle bus,

you know, that it makes you like totally reachable and reliable Addie or like, you know, relatable and that like it's not relatable as I'm having other things I'm overcoming, right? It is just like so interesting what comes up. You guys interested to know what you guys feel about that too? Like do you think it's, you know, and it's,

it's the more I decide what my mission and what my passion is and how it's such a spiritual journey, you know? And when people do find me about the weight loss, they're starting to come in with the understanding of yeah we'll set a weight loss goal, but they're really there to uncover their true selves. And I'm seeing this with all of my clients right now.

Like we're building their future selves and we're looking at the scale to use that as data and feedback. But it isn't the sole purpose, right? Like if you want the quick pill, if you want the fast, like take the scale like the zen zen pill or the like weight loss surgery alternative or something that's gonna like it, like physically move your body through that overnight.

It's not this, right? This is a journey of rebuilding and reprogramming and really recreating who you are and there's a lot of different phases, but immediately you start to feel more empowered when you go through this process. Oh my gosh, okay now I'm rambling. Okay, so, so how will other people feel about it? So obviously I had a lot of emotions come up there,

right? What pain might I experience if I make this change? This was like, I was like shit, I hate being honest with myself. I will have to show up for work when I say, and it might feel like work but I enjoy work I wrote but that's Addie eats her work. Like yesterday F it mindset came in and and that's the thing really shifting this belief for me that I enjoy this time and creation.

I can sit, I can notice this discomfort in my body and still work through it and notice it for what it is. It's excitement for what I'm creating or maybe a little anxiety or like how do I just sit with and embrace these emotions and now I can tap through it And I've been doing this a lot as I'm creating. I'm just, and if you're not watching on YouTube,

you can't see me just tapping through as I'm talking about it because I'm getting a little anxiety right now. So as I, you just can talk through something that's going on in your life and do the tapping sequence and it will neutralize you. It's really been a great tool and I'll start to do that now as I'm working. And this is so new for me you guys so new.

But it's like it's a game. I'm already more calm in my body just doing that short sequence there. Okay? And the fourth question you're gonna ask yourself is what will I lose? What will you lose if, what were I what I lose if I hit my final weight? You know what I wrote the thing that popped in my mind, I wrote down and I have holy F written right next to it.

Like I couldn't believe it. My freedom I wrote I was gonna lose my freedom if I hit my final weight. What the hell we're on earth does that come from? Whoa. Is that mind blowing or what? You guys look at those limiting beliefs because I think in me putting more value into the world, me showing up for doing what I love is proven like doing this for you.

I love to do this though. This is what I'm made to do. But it's not easy to show up and get ready and put a microphone on and technology goes and I don't know what I'm gonna say and it might suck and everyone might hate it and all the things, it's not easy in my body to do, right? And yet I know I wanna do it.

And yet I think when I do more of what I'm made to do and I'm not shoving my face through it and I'm showing up for my calendar and I'm also the thin, healthy person I wanna be that I'm gonna lose my freedom. And my freedom to me, if you know anything about me is like the top of my list, which is why I bought an RV to travel the country.

I didn't wanna put roots down. Like this is the first home I bought. I lived in my beach house in Hawaii, but it was part of my, my job, my package, right? I didn't have to buy it. I didn't have to commit to being there. Oh there's shadows in there now we gotta pull that shit out. Why am I scared to put roots down?

Why don't I wanna be committed to being in a location? What do I think is gonna happen? Hey, interesting. Okay, so those are the four questions and I can't wait to hear what you guys come up with, but wait, there's more. Okay because on the next page he asked you, what's the upside of staying here? What's the upside of me staying around this weight?

Okay, not getting these last 2030 off depending on the day you check in with me, what is the upside I can keep eating and being loosey goosey? I get rewards to the brain all the time. My brain loves that immediate dopamine hit. No one is relying on me. Really freedom, right? I don't have to show up if I don't want to.

I get to be comfortable. Wow. And was this because like I didn't because going to work every day from nine to five, like I always knew I wanted more freedom in my life. Like I feel good when I'm out being free, but I love the things I get to show up for now, I love coaching people, I love the group calls.

So I need to rewire. I love creating the courses. Oh my god, I'm so proud of my meditation hub and what I'm doing, the abundance circle, I'm like, the things I'm creating right now are blowing my mind, right? They're like, I'm like oh my god, I love it. So where is that disconnect between me feeling like showing up for it is causing me any kinds of anxiety,

right? Is causing me to have these old feelings of I am going to be back in the grind, the hamster wheel of corporate America. I've blocks there and I knew this was a block I was set out when I set this goal and I told Renee, you know, my spiritual, my spirit guide, spiritual advisor, woman, Renee Spears. Anyhow,

spit it out. Slayer. So I told Renee, I said, I know this is a block that I have to work so hard to get the money and she's in the, you know, cuz we both came from the corporate world and it's really overcoming that. And yet getting to a space where I can produce more when I can impact more lives.

Cuz I know I'm here to reach millions of people somehow. I don't know how to tell you that. And it sounds like I hear myself say that and I get scared, but yet I can tell you my guides are here right now. And I'm like, it's crazy to me. They're like, no, it's even bigger than that Slayer. I'm like,

that's crazy too. Okay, so anyhow, what is the downside of this changing? So really it's six questions. Okay? So I guess I lied a little bit. Welcome to the Arts Sing podcast. What the downside of this changing. I will have to stop eating all the crap I won't get to watch all the stupid shows. Boy that's so far sounds like a lot of fun that I get to have on the on not changing,

huh? I will get to create at a higher level and get, I will have to create at a higher level and get more uncomfortable. Yep. I'll have more responsibility. I'll have to work hard. People will expect more from me. Why? Like I like people to rely on me. I think I do. Where does this stuff come from?

And this is what'll happen if you just allow yourself to be still sit, think, don't consult your phone, take these questions and go sit and journal and I wanna see what comes up for you cuz what could be blocking you? So I thought my why was pretty powerful. Like I know when I'm in that mode where I'm eating on point, I'm doing all the things that I feel good.

That was a great why. I'm just gonna stay in that vibration of that future self. I'm gonna bring it to me. I'm cultivating that energy and here I have this fear that I am going to lose my freedom if I lose weight. What in holy hack? So we're gonna like, I'm tapping the crap out of that. I'm squashing these limiting beliefs right in left witches and bitches.

So hop on this train and please jump in the witches and benches abundance circle if you want in the Heartsing podcast community get started. Take some action and do some of this work. I'm telling you, I didn't transform by not doing the things. Okay? And I would offer you this even if you go out and get the quick fix, if you're like listening to me for a weight loss or something and I was going to get weight loss surgery.

That's how this whole thing started. If you don't know my story, like I was out seeking and they told me I had to wait six months and then I found meditation and here we are right now. Our teacher asked some meditation and we got that going right now and I'm building out the meditation. How about lots of great stuff happening. But what?

What was I gonna tell you? I don't remember. I need to hang up this YouTube thing. Hey, subscribe, like, share. Don't not like it. I know I'm new, but you know, what are you gonna do? Can you say that here is it a thing? Heartsing podcast, listen to me everywhere and listen, witches and bitches,

I appreciate you all so much and we're headed into this holiday season. I'm getting really pumped up to set new goals too. It's not just about this, but I'm fascinated to find out why I'm sabotaging myself. So I hope you find some value and some interest in this for yourself and really sit and ask yourself why he's got a story in here about this one woman that she would hit this weight point and she'd like all of a sudden like eat and do all the things.

Well, they get into the layers of why. And it was from when she was younger. Her sister would tell her that she was, when she would get thin, how fat she made her feel and how horrible she made her feel. And so she would gain weight to so her sister would like her again and say nice things to her. This is like 30 years later that this is impacting her.

That her fear of her sister not liking her was greater than her desire to be in that thinner body, right? So my fear of losing my freedom is greater than my desire to be in the 162 body than to be the million dollar Addie, right? My fear of that. Wow. So now I know where I need to focus on the more work around the freedom and that it's safe for me to create magical things and it's safe for me.

I will still have freedom, I will still be able to create my life just how I want. I create everything like, so to really rewire that and dig up these circumstances that might be programming that. So that's coming up next. So tune in. All right, thanks for listening. You guys tell all your friends, gimme a review if you haven't,

I would really, really love it. It's a great way to bring in the new year and we'll be doing some goal setting. I think I'm gonna have my Aunt Mary be Adler. She's biking the continent of Africa at like 65. She'll be 66 in March. I think biking in entire continent sleeping tents for like four months. So this is epic stuff.

Epic. So I'm gonna have her on to give us some inspiration on big impossible goals for the new year. All right, let's light it up. Witches and bitches. Have a great week.