An Intimate Conversation with Doula Terese Flores: Newborn Care, Adoption Stories, & the Power of Support - S3E14
Oct 05, 2023
Coach Mikki
Ever wonder about the unsung heroes who make those first few bewildering weeks with a newborn a little less daunting? Listen in as we chat with Terese Flores, with FikaNewborn. a remarkable doula whose admirable work offers a lifeline of support to new parents navigating the turbulent seas of parenthood. As the eldest of triplets and a seasoned nanny, she brings a wealth of firsthand experience to her role, providing invaluable assistance with newborn care as well as postpartum recovery.
This episode will tug at your heartstrings as Terese shares her personal journey of fostering and adopting children, and her own experience with a pregnancy marked by a life-limiting condition. She speaks candidly about the struggles and triumphs, and how her own encounter with a postpartum doula inspired her to extend the same support to others. We will delve into her mission to ensure all mothers receive the assistance they need, regardless of their circumstances. You won't want to miss her amusing anecdotes from her experiences working with a range of different families - including a story that involved a cat psychic and a little Prozac! Tune in for an enlightening conversation that celebrates empathy, resilience, and the power of support.
Ever wonder about the unsung heroes who make those first few bewildering weeks with a newborn a little less daunting? Listen in as we chat with Terese Flores, with FikaNewborn. a remarkable doula whose admirable work offers a lifeline of support to new parents navigating the turbulent seas of parenthood. As the eldest of triplets and a seasoned nanny, she brings a wealth of firsthand experience to her role, providing invaluable assistance with newborn care as well as postpartum recovery.
This episode will tug at your heartstrings as Terese shares her personal journey of fostering and adopting children, and her own experience with a pregnancy marked by a life-limiting condition. She speaks candidly about the struggles and triumphs, and how her own encounter with a postpartum doula inspired her to extend the same support to others. We will delve into her mission to ensure all mothers receive the assistance they need, regardless of their circumstances. You won't want to miss her amusing anecdotes from her experiences working with a range of different families - including a story that involved a cat psychic and a little Prozac! Tune in for an enlightening conversation that celebrates empathy, resilience, and the power of support.
Hey, I'm Coach Mickey and I'm so glad that you've joined us, and if this is your first time joining us, come on in and make yourself comfortable. And for those of you that joined us on a regular basis, we are so glad that you do. And I love the fact that you guys connect with all of our guests and reach out to me with your comments, your questions and your suggestions of people to have on as guests. You guys have been so much fun and thank you so much for connecting me on my new YouTube channel. I love the fact that my guests are coming back and sharing all their information and we're going to have some fun during this holiday season and we have got some great upcoming guests Today. I am really you guys know I'm always excited to have my guests on. That's why I have them on, but I am very excited to have on this guest.
Coach Mikki:
She offers something that is just so cool and when I was a mom especially as a new mom I would have given anything to know about her and I am going to just jump right in real quick and tell you guys what she does, who she is, and let her tell you her story and for those of you that are listening anywhere in the world. The good news is you're going to be able to connect with her anywhere in the world Once you find out what you need. I guarantee her phone is going to be ringing off the hook, so I'm going to jump right in. Teres Flores is a doula, but for those of you that know what doulas are, she's got a little different bit of a twist, because she's going to help you with newborns and postpartum and she is going to help teach, educate and help you with that new mom experience that we always have, that we don't know because they don't come with a manual. So I'm just going to jump right in and into and have you come in and tell your story.
Coach Mikki:
Thank you so much for joining me today. How are you? I'm doing well. Thank you, Mikki. I am so glad to have you. So when I heard what you do and your passion, I was thrilled because, like I said, for myself I've got two children and they don't come with a manual. And you come in, especially if you come in as a mom who's had a C-section and you're trying to take care of yourself and take care of your family and take care of a new child, Having someone like you that comes in and offers this spectrum of a gift and for no other words to put on it. Tell me how you got started with this.
Teres Flores:
Absolutely. So you know I've always been around newborns. I'm the oldest of three siblings that are triplets. I was a toddler when they were born, so we had a, we went in full swinging, had a live in nanny. So you know newborns are not something that was ever unknown territory to me. So I so, and then after that I worked for at a family, a family member, as a in-home day care. So I worked there and then during my formal education I was a nanny for a few families with the newborns up until they were five years old. And I still keep in touch with them today. Nice yeah.
Coach Mikki:
How do you connect with the families? Okay, so where? Where does it start? when you, when you come into someone's life?
Teres Flores:
Sure. So I have mothers that book me and reach out and book me as early as nine weeks pregnant. Some mothers book me, you know, a month before their due date and I absolutely try to accommodate them on my schedule in any way that I can if I have availability. But to be quite honest, I'm right now I'm booked, you know, for in-person through July of 2024, but I do offer virtual and your virtual and video support that I'm very flexible on. So that's always an option for anyone interested in booking as of now.
Teres Flores:
But you know I do so I do book them and then I they do have 24 seven access to me after prior to book sorry, following booking, and they might come to me with questions to relay back to their OB, questions about pregnancy induction, c-section, recovery if they're anticipating a C-section.
Teres Flores:
So these are all things that we can work on together and collaborate on and create a plan with each family during their time prior to baby's arrival. So also right before usually they're due date, I'll pop in and I'll do a meet and greet at their home and go over the lay of the land, show me baby's nursery, show me around the kitchen, and it just relieves a little bit more, less stress after arriving home from the hospital and I show up at your door we're not scrambling, so it just helps ease the transition of things. And of course, if there is an older sibling, I introduce myself to the older sibling and we work on a little bit of sibling integration and how that might look. And then I do keep two weeks open, so I'm on call for the birth two weeks before and after their due date, of course, and I hop on over the moment. I'm there on the front lines as soon as they arrive home from the hospital.
Coach Mikki:
That's amazing, especially to have somebody that's available to come in Because, like you said, that moment, that timeframe, especially after having a child I mean whether it's a natural birth or a cesarean that time of healing and having that extra person to be available is definitely helpful, especially if you have a spouse that has to work and they can't be available to be there again and again. That spouse too, if they are working, it's up to the mom to be able to get up, like you say, every two hours and have to be there for a child. But having that extra hand, I know there was one point with my daughter. Oh my gosh, she had colic and I remember it was nights and nights and nights of just her crying and you're walking with this child, and I remember this woman was a godsend. So it was like two o'clock in the morning and I hear a knock at my front door and I look over and I see it's my neighbor.
Coach Mikki:
Now I kind of knew her, but I didn't. And she came up, she's knocking on the door and I'm thinking, oh my gosh, I probably woke her up, I probably woke up her kid and she said Mick, let me help you, let me take her for a while. Go sit down, go relax. She came into my house and walked with my daughter for almost three hours just so I could sit and just relax and I cannot tell you just that three hours alone was such a gift. So having somebody like you that is available to a new mom, that can help them through all of these things, is definitely priceless. I have to ask how did you get started? I know prior to us being on air, you had shared that you had traveled through Europe and that helped you with a little bit of insight to bring your company together.
Teres Flores:
Absolutely yes. So I took a trip in Eastern Europe. I have a friend that lives over there and during 2014 and 15, I stayed with her for a month or two and she happened to get engaged to someone in Sweden. She had been dating a man in Sweden and upon their engagement, they both flew back to Romania and I was staying with her family and anticipating her arrival and some of the things you know. Obviously, I learned about each culture, but something I learned that the Swedish did that I really liked the tradition was it was called Fika, and Fika is the gathering together of everyone in the home, just randomly, sporadically, throughout the day. They usually meet up in the afternoon. They'll come to the living room table and enjoy coffee and tea and a few sweets and just a time to recoup and reconnect with one another. And that's what Fika is really all about is reconnecting, taking the time to savor the moment, feeling well rested so you can be there for your child and savor the moments with your child, with your new baby that you brought home.
Coach Mikki:
Oh, I love that. I know it's funny, because Europe has moments like that where they just like to just decompress and regroup. So having that ability to do that and incorporate it into what you do as a family really gives it a nice flow, a nice easy way and a comforting zone. You know comforting flow, excuse me. So, wow, that is pretty awesome. So, and again, and I know you had shared something that was kind of intimate and within your journey in doing this and if you would be so kind to share your story, because I know I think what you do first of all is amazing, but what really navigated me towards you to have you here as my guest is the fact that you took something that transpired and you've you've brought it into what you are doing now. So would you mind sharing that story?
Teres Flores:
Absolutely. I will share a little bit about my journey to parenthood, which is, I would consider, absolutely unconventional Unconventional. So my husband and I were got became married in 2015. And in 2017, we we both knew we love children and always wanted a big family, and so we actually became foster parents and we fostered one little girl and then we took a few month break and then we have. We were placed with a sibling set of boy and a girl and they were two and three years old and we, in the sense of past, adopted them. So we adopted them in January 2023.
Teres Flores:
And, like, going back to what I had said, we always wanted a large family. We always wanted to make sure of bio children with adoptive children. We just weren't sure how we were going to get there and when and what combination. So we actually adopted our did finalize our adoption this past January and, just in a going back to 2021, I did become pregnant with our first born and her 20 week ultrasound she was diagnosed with a life limiting, extremely rare condition. It was non genetic, it's actually limb body wall complex If any listeners out there have ever come across it or have any connection to it and so we knew that she was not going to survive after after pregnancy. So that became evident and we did decide to carry her. So we carried her.
Teres Flores:
Unknowingly, when I would give birth at 31 weeks, my body went into labor and because I had excess fluid and so I gave birth to her via C section. She did pass away at the birth when her umbilical cord was cut and following that it became extremely evident to me as I arrived home and in the midst of grief and postpartum healing and established, trying to keep track of your mental health and, you know, managing two children that are still in the foster care system, that weren't yet adopted, it was a lot and people didn't really know how to show up. You know I had a few friends stop over for a visit and they brought over some gifts and activities for the kids and that was so wonderful. I know my love language is is gifts, and so I really felt loved by them. But there was definitely some dark moments in the, you know, the month and the the year afterwards where there's really no reference point for this type of situation. So people don't know how to respond and you know we we didn't have a lot of family support or help.
Teres Flores:
So following my postpartum period I was left doing a lot of in-home tasks, you know, on my own.
Teres Flores:
I remember, probably on day two arriving home after my C-section, I was walking around the house and picking up laundry with my toes and putting it in the washing machine, just the motherly instinct and me to keep the home tidy, even though it probably helped distract me as well.
Teres Flores:
But you know, I feel that it really left me in a dark space, just not having a bunch of support or any support.
Teres Flores:
Postpartum I had a wonderful postpartum doula that volunteered 14 hours of her time for bereavement services and this is something that she does as well.
Teres Flores:
She comes home after a family arrives home without bringing their baby and she offered me 14 hours and it was a godsend and she helped me with a few tips, with pumping a few suggestions, but ultimately, you know, just help me with companionship tips, just chatted with me and knew how to ask questions and acknowledge my baby's life and that was so comforting for me, you know, opposed to people that were close to me and didn't ask, people who knew me and were close to me but didn't necessarily know what to ask or if they should even mention my baby's name.
Teres Flores:
So to have a professional in my home for those very few short hours was very comforting, and just knowing she knew how to navigate the situation was really wonderful, and that's something that I strive for. I don't want any mom to ever go back to, to ever be in the dark space that I was in following their birth, regardless of the circumstance, whether it's a live birth or not, I think that every mother deserves support, and that is something that I strive to do and that has been my mission.
Coach Mikki:
Wow, I know, when you had originally told me the story, I was speechless because you're right, I don't think people know how to react to something like that, or even know what to say, and obviously my first thing I said to you was I'm sorry for your loss, but I mean, that's just such a statement to say because you truly mean it. But on the other hand, I was for lack of better word. I was blown away by the fact that you have taken something so, personal and intimate, and you have taken it and structured and used it for yourself, but not only for you, but for other people to be able to, to be able to, if they you know, god forbid they have to go through this or they do go through this and show them hey, you're not alone, let me be there to help you. I guess what I'm trying to say is offer the things to other moms that you needed at the time when you were going through it and you knowing exactly what to say, exactly what to do, what to be able to offer and help them, even just to give that gift of saying, hey, you're not alone. And I think sometimes, as human beings, having that it's just, that little thing is, can be enough and it's just, it's just amazing.
Coach Mikki:
Someone like you I love having on as my guest because it tells other people out there that you know what, there are people out there that do really care and that do understand and you're not alone in your situation, and the fact that you've even taken it now to be able to help you. You know moms later on, you know with the, postpartum, the place you help them. You know what to buy and what to do and educate them and help them with the siblings, and then you know if they have to do with something. That's more on an emotional level. I mean, you're like the whole package, girlfriend.
Teres Flores:
I try, I try to be.
Coach Mikki:
It's something that says a lot about you, because I think sometimes, when we deal with such situations, that where we get thrown towards us, and the fact, the choices that you've made, you know, to bring you to where you are, says a lot about you too, and it just my gosh, I mean, your heart is bigger than your body!. And also to be able to go out and help other people With this. You have your own children, which is awesome, and being able to incorporate having your own family. So what are some of the fun things that you really enjoy about? About what you do? I mean, what really like when you come home, you're just smiling.
Teres Flores:
Oh, I have stories. I mean you know you are meeting the families and their most vulnerable, vulnerable periods. So there's lots of little. You know funny things that go on and you know things that probably everyone sort of brain dead. So I really enjoy connecting with the parents. The dads are really great. I love the dads that are hands on and super involved.
Teres Flores:
I really love working with the grandparents. They are so sweet I love. You know a lot of these families have grandparents that come into town and they might fly in and stay with the family when the baby arrives home. And I think a lot of them have sort of become aware that you know grandparents are there and they want to hold the baby and be grandparents and not necessarily physically, maybe help around the home and practical areas and educate. So that's where I come in and I love working alongside the grandparents and incorporating them as well. You know, if I help them with babies first bath, the grandparents love doing that. I'll offer I'll shadow the grandparents and I'll offer to take some photos of them with baby and they just love it. So I really love learning. Every family dynamic is so different and you know work is constantly changing, which I love, and you never know what you're gonna walk into.
Coach Mikki:
I can hear the smile in your voice. I can definitely tell you love what you do and working with these families. You have been absolutely amazing. Well, let me ask you we got a few more minutes Do you have a funny story you can share? You don't have to say any names or anything, but do you have one good story that really just it's off the top of your head. That's really funny.
Teres Flores:
Yes, I, actually I do. I had a family this last spring and, poor thing, it was not a fun situation to go into, but their cat actually attacked their house cleaner and since the cat had so much going on, a new baby arriving home the house cleaner that was there, myself, that was in and out of the home and so the poor cat was just overwhelmed and he was used to being the baby prior to baby's arrival. And these three other new, you know, grew another team of new people that were in the home. So you know, this family actually hired a cat psychic to communicate with the cat and to learn the cat's behavior. So you know, it was quite entertaining sort of relaying information back to myself and learning what the cat had communicated to the family and what the true reason was while he acted out that in addition to, you know, a good dose of Prozac for the cat. I think you can get to the trick here here, like I said, you never know what you are walking into.
Coach Mikki:
Okay, I have to ask. Well, first of all, I'm not laughing about the cat psychic, because I do know there are people I've met personally that do work with animals and I totally respect that and I think that is an amazing thing because we all have our own connections and our own gifts. Why I'm laughing is because this poor woman she's not only dealing with a newborn, but now her poor cat is just in emotional termoil and, like you said, you've got all these other people Okay to follow up with this story. I have to know what was the end result with the cat. So what was communicated back to you that helped the situation to fix this?
Teres Flores:
So the cat was nervous that the couple had been talking about moving back to the East Coast, so he had heard them chatting, so he had communicated with the animal communicator I believe is what they call animal communicator that he is nervous if another move is coming in his future and he didn't want any more babies to arrive in the home. Okay, so, like I said, that was addition of Prozac. He calmed down and he earned his keep and the family, the family sent them back to the East Coast and they're doing great and I hope Locke, the cat named Locke, is doing well as well. That is so sweet.
Coach Mikki:
That is so sweet. Well, I'll tell you what you have got the patience of an angel you really do for everything that you have to deal with. But you're right, you're coming into people's homes and you're dealing, and I didn't even think about that. I think about the siblings and grandparents and other people that are involved and you've got a completely different family dynamic. But you're right, I never thought about it.
Coach Mikki:
Now you've got to throw in animals, because I know, even for me, when I brought my son home, I had two corgis and one of them was very close to me. Her name was Holly, and I didn't know how she was going to react when I brought him home and she never left my side. She never left my side, she never left his side, she protected him, she wanted to be next to him and if I, because I had a cesarium, so a lot of times it was easier for me to sleep in the living room and be up and do what I needed to do, and right next to me, right next to him, she had to be close to him. So you're right, I mean, you've got other things and other elements that you have to take into consideration. But getting back to you as a doula and what you do to help these families is, oh my gosh. Like I said, if I had known you existed, I definitely would have had you in my house Because it, like I said, it's very difficult the first couple of weeks.
Coach Mikki:
You know, like I said, even the healing process, so we got a few more minutes. As you guys know, all the information and her website and everything is going to be in embedded into the podcast and I highly highly recommend that you guys reach out to Terese and be able to connect with her if you're having a baby. You know somebody's having a baby, but how can everybody reach you?
Teres Flores:
Absolutely. You can find me on Instagram at Fika Newborn and online at FikaNewborncom.
Coach Mikki:
Awesome, okay, and I highly recommend you guys connect and you do virtual too, so someone else in the world would like to reach out to you. You're available.
Teres Flores:
Absolutely. I have an online video platform that I do video consultations and meetups with, as well as on the telephone.
Coach Mikki:
Right, and I'm so excited that you were with us and thank you so much for sharing your story and your insight. I wish you an abundance of success. I know, I know, one thing you're always going to have availability and work, because, as long as women are having babies and they know that you, that someone like you, was out there for them, I guarantee you're, you're always going to have a full schedule. Thank you so much for being with us, Teres, I appreciate you.
Teres Flores:
You're very welcome, mickey. It was a pleasure.
Coach Mikki:
All right, you guys, thank you so much for joining us today. Again, please reach out to Terese Flores and I will put all that information into the podcast. And for those of you that are excited about some of our other new guests, I highly recommend you reach out to them and keep your comments, your questions and please, please, please, connect with me on my new YouTube channel, coach Mickey and friends, and you can find that on coach Mickey and friendscom, and we have got some really fun stuff coming up for the holidays, and you guys know that we always have a good time, especially now that it's pumpkin spice season and everything else that follows after that. All right, remember, the most courageous thing you can do is be yourself. I love you guys and I will look forward to seeing you next time. Bye.