Grief is Transformative

What happens when everything in your life changes at once? For Angela Clement, retirement plans with her husband transformed into a cancer diagnosis, and then widowhood. Rather than remain stuck in her grief, Angela followed a calling toward energy healing that had fascinated her since witnessing a healer help her son years earlier.

The conversation reveals practical energy techniques, like "the triple warmer smoothie" that anyone can use during acute grief episodes. She explains how various modalities—Reiki, shamanic practices, sound healing, cranial sacral therapy—provide different pathways to release emotional blockages that grief creates.

Most powerfully, Angela reframes how we understand grief itself. Rather than seeing it as something to overcome, she views grief as "a God-given process that helps us through when we need to let go." This perspective recognizes grief as a natural companion to all of life's transitions. The emotions we typically resist during grief—anger, jealousy, guilt—become catalysts for healing when we learn to lean into rather than avoid them.

The discussion offers hope that grief work isn't just about surviving loss but potentially transforming through it. Angela describes how grief "bursts" that seem like setbacks might actually be communications from loved ones or opportunities for deeper healing. 

Angela welcomes grievers to join her free support group , and shares information about her book "Awakening Through Grief." Her gentle approach demonstrates that while we can't eliminate grief, we can develop a healthier relationship with it through energy practices that honor our whole being—body, mind, and spirit.

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Credits: 
Music by Kevin MacLeod 

Copyright 2020, by As I Live and Grieve

The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent. 

Transcript

Welcome to As I Live and Grieve

Speaker 1 0:01

Welcome to as I Live and Grieve, a podcast that tells the truth about how hard this is. We're glad you joined us today. We know how hard it is to lose someone you love and how well-intentioned friends and family try so hard to comfort us. We created this podcast to provide you with comfort, knowledge and support. We are grief advocates, not professionals, not licensed therapists. We are you.

Speaker 2 0:26

Hi everyone, welcome back again to another episode of as I Live and Grieve. Another great guest today yes, I say it every week, but yes, I mean it every week With me today, for your listening pleasure, is Angela Plummett, and she's going to kind of give you some of her background in a minute, but I just want to say hi, angela, thanks for joining me.

Speaker 3 0:47

Hi, thanks for having me.

Speaker 2 0:48

I'm real happy to be here oh good Listeners can't see, but she's got a wonderful smile on her face and that always brings some brightness to my little corner of the world, so I appreciate that. Okay, will you start us out, angela, by introducing yourself a bit to our listeners? Let them know who is Angela, for sure.

Speaker 3 1:08

So I was a school principal, I was in education for over 30 years, and so we lived just north of Valmarie, which is a very, very small town in southern Saskatchewan in Canada, and we raised two children, my husband and I, and it was a wonderful life. It really was. We lived on a ranch. He had a cattle ranch, we had lots of open spaces, we were near the Grasslands National Park. It was just a great place to raise our kids.

Speaker 3 1:38

And then, in 2019, we were poised to retire and Blaine decided he wanted to sell the ranch, and so we put it up for sale and sold it, and we were just stepping into retirement. I was about ready to retire from my position at the school, and our kids had grown up and moved away, and so, like everyone anticipates, we're going to travel, we're going to do all the things you do in retirement. And then, in January of 2021, he was diagnosed with colon cancer, and it wasn't something that we expected. He wasn't feeling well for a few weeks before, but I expected it to be a gallbladder issue or with that nature, and no, we got quite a shock and it was stage four. Wow. And so for the next 10 months, my hander went all the chemotherapy and treatment, but in the end of October he passed away, and so it was quite a shock for me because in that time I did retire so that I could be closer to him and help him, and also we moved to get closer to a hospital and moved to a place where my son is living, and so we're closer to our kids.

Speaker 3 2:55

So then, when all the dust settled and everything he was gone and I was here, I realized everything had changed. Nothing was the same. It was absolutely wiped clean Right, and, as you can imagine, that was pretty devastating. I had no idea what I was going to do next, but I did know that in my retirement I wanted to pursue energy healing. It was something I was interested in from the time my son was very small. He had a disease called Hirschsprung's disease and we went to a healer and she healed him. So since then I have always had this desire to pursue it further, but of course, very busy as a principal and a teacher, I didn't pursue it until Blaine got sick, and then I really got more serious about it and started to take classes, and then, after he passed, I took a really comprehensive course with Adrian Blackwell and learned a whole host of modalities and through that ended up doing an online virtual summit and then just loved it.

Angela's Story of Loss

Speaker 3 3:57

I loved interviewing people and finding out their stories and it was all based around grief, experts, grief, and so now that's kind of what I do. I have a podcast, I interview people and I also do energy healing at the same time, and so I do grief coaching, energy healing, and then get out resources and things for people who are going loss.

Speaker 2 4:22

Yeah, I just love hearing stories like yours of people who, in their grief, came to the realization, first of all, looking back, life was gone, that everything even they were personally pretty much was gone. They no longer had that routine. And I myself, after my husband Tom died it's been seven years now, but I distinctly remember calling my daughter Stephanie and saying I think I have to redefine myself. I'm not the same person anymore. I can't even pick one fragment of a piece of the person I was before and I feel I did. So I love these stories of transformation, but first I want to focus on the energy healing.

Energy Healing Modalities Explained

Speaker 2 5:04

It really wasn't until I started doing the podcast that I kept hearing more and more about energy and energy healing and everything, and I took it to heart and did research and everything like that and really started to believe that, yes, we just are a ball of energy. You know we might say that or that our kids are a ball of energy, but yes, we really are. And so I'm still trying to wrap my head, though, around many of these modalities and probably a lot of them that you use in healing and everything, but I do appreciate and I do believe energy heals. Having said that. However, I think I just had an innate skepticism around a lot of it. So some of the things I've tried for myself, for example to alleviate some chronic pain issues, I have haven't worked. So first can you kind of tell us what are some of the modalities that you do use?

Speaker 3 5:56

Yeah, for sure. So I'm a Reiki master, so I use Reiki. I also am familiar with shamanic healing. I do drumming and so a little bit of sound healing. I also have a I would call it metaphysical healing. Okay, it's what I learned when my son was little from the lady who healed him. Okay, and that one I can't really define it as well, but it is letting the energy flow through me. Define it as well, but it is letting the energy flow through me, so it's really tapping into the divine flow and then allowing the person who I'm sitting with to be able to let their energy flow in the way that it needs to for healing. So it's really not me doing the healing, it's you doing the healing, but I'm just holding a space and allowing that energy flow the way it needs to for that healing to take place. So and that's very abstract and hard to explain to people how that works right, and it's very innate in me to do that, and so I've practiced cranial sacral therapy as well.

Speaker 2 7:02

Oh, that's what I've not heard of.

Speaker 3 7:03

Yeah, and Touch for Health. I do that, and so I've just got a really broad base of different techniques and I also follow Donna Eden Eden Energy Medicine and there's a lot of really practical techniques, especially really energy routine, that everyone can do easily. And so, yeah, I have a whole bunch and I pull from each, depending on the person I'm sitting with and what comes up and for me to share that's what I do.

Speaker 2 7:35

It's fascinating. You have a huge toolbox and you mentioned a couple of things. Now the daily, what is it? The daily energy routine? Yeah, the daily energy routine yes. Can you give us a little sneak peek of what that might be?

Speaker 3 7:47

Yeah, so basically it's just a series of very simple, I wouldn't say exercises. I almost hate to call it an exercise because then everybody's going to be like, no, I don't want to do such a job, but really it's just well. Here I'll give you an example. So one of the favorite parts of what Donna Eden teaches is the triple warmer smoothie, which is a way to really settle your nervous system and I think for people in grief this I can describe it so people can try it. But basically you take and put your hands over your eyes and just take a couple of deep breaths and then you pull your hands over to your ears.

Practical Energy Techniques For Grief

Speaker 3 8:36

You just kind of slide them over to your ears. Yeah, just slide them over to your ears and then just hold them there on your temples and just take another deep breath, and then we're going to roll our fingers over our ear and down to our shoulders and we're going to give our shoulders a good squeeze and pull our hands down to our heart and just lay them over top of our heart and as you do that a few times, you'll be able to feel the energy just kind of ground, and it's very calming, really, really calming. And so that's one, just one little thing that teaches, and they're also very simple. If you go on YouTube and you search Eden Energy Medicine and Donna Eat's daily energy routine, you'll find it.

Speaker 3 9:24

Oh, okay, it has all kinds of free videos and little exercises and I know a lot of people look at them and think, well, how could that possibly work? But for me it was huge. I used her daily energy routine well, daily when he was sick, and sometimes multiple times a day to help myself calm, Because obviously you're going to be very, very upset when you're going through something like that Absolutely. Yeah.

Speaker 2 9:51

Wow, that's fascinating, and I hear these seemingly simple little things, but all you really have to do is try them, and they're so much easier now, especially with the internet and YouTube and everything. What have you got to lose? Well, if you go to a doctor, you're almost guaranteed you're going to get another medication and maybe the medication will help what ails you at the moment, but it's got other side effects. It's going to give you other issues besides. So I'm really pretty much on the holistic bandwagon at this point, but I had not heard about that. The other one you mentioned that I hadn't heard about was cranial sacral.

Speaker 2 10:26

I hadn't heard that Can you kind of clarify a little bit what that is.

Speaker 3 10:31

Yeah, so basically it's working with the fluid, the fluid that runs between your brain and down your spinal cord. There's a flow that happens there and so, just like you know your energetic flow, that needs to be flowing. And so cranial sacral therapy is really it works with the whole body, but a lot through your skull, through your head, and so I do a lot of different hand positions on the head that were taught to me and just kind of feel that flow of the fluid, kind of like the pulse that's happening, and just try to get that flowing and it can be really powerful. I went for a session when my son was very young and I remember it still today so clearly.

Speaker 3 11:22

I had some trauma when I had him. I actually just about bled to death and this particular fellow, not knowing me at all doing this therapy, just happened to ask me about my birth and all of a sudden, you know, the tears are flowing, it's emotional, but there was a lot that was released through that simple session and so sometimes I think you know therapy is a great thing and having something like an energy healing modality or even sound healing, any of those kinds of things can really just help you along, especially when those emotions are really really strong. This can just help you more gently release it.

Speaker 2 12:08

Fascinating. Okay, I have several questions here, so we'll so. We'll pick at it one at a time. It sounds like with the cranial sacral modality, that needs to be done in person if you're going to put your hands on head. What modalities work virtually?

Speaker 3 12:23

Well, I can do touch for health virtually. I can do Reiki virtually. My metaphysical healing happens virtually as well, all right, and so a lot of it is intent. You know intention is huge, okay. If you think about, you know the way you wake up in the morning and you set an intention for the day this is going to be a good day.

Speaker 2 12:45

And you.

Speaker 3 12:46

You know if you visualize it. You talk about people in sports, how they visualize making that goal, or this is very similar. It's setting that intention, sending that energy so that you can experience that success.

Speaker 2 13:00

Okay, so is intention then kind of related to manifesting something? Okay, all right, because I certainly heard manifesting and it's actually kind of been the other way, because I have a certain number of people in my life that tend to be a little more negative, so I will kind of caution them at times Don't keep saying that, or you're going to manifest it into reality. Okay, so intention is something similar. Well then, it's probably. It would probably be a good thing for people to set an intention every morning if you want to kind of have your day go that way.

Speaker 3 13:30

Absolutely yes, because we often will wake up kind of the same as what we went to bed. So you know, you go to bed and you've got all these things running through your mind and then you wake up in the morning and you remember oh yeah, I have such and such or this or that or whatever. And it's helping yourself to move out of that space and into something more positive, something lighter, something more exciting. Curiosity is a great way to approach something. It just really makes a huge difference in your day and if you can catch yourself when you're falling back into that, well often we'll have things that we're saying to ourselves that are very critical.

Speaker 1 14:11

You know why did this have to happen, or you know why couldn't have things that?

Speaker 3 14:12

we're saying to ourselves that are very critical. You know why did this have to happen? Or? You know why couldn't have done that that?

Speaker 2 14:15

way. Yeah, we do that all the time.

Speaker 3 14:18

Yeah, there's all that chatter that's going on. So if you can be aware of that and then turn it around, even just by saying a few positive words just to help yourself move out of that for a while, then, yeah, over time this is going to change your life really Sure.

Speaker 2 14:37

I can believe that with no problem. So some things do work virtually, and that one's kind of difficult for me to comprehend, since it's based on energy. I don't quite see how energy can connect virtually, but I accept it because I know it works. So if someone thought that they might want to connect with someone, but for whatever reason they wanted someone face-to-face, how do you find somebody who can practice these modalities? Like, if I specifically wanted to find someone that does the cranial, sacral modality, how would I look for someone? What questions might I ask?

Speaker 3 15:15

Well, I mean I would start looking, doing an online search for craniosacral therapists and see if I could find one close to you.

Speaker 3 15:24

You know there will be a list of them somewhere on the West and then I would do a little vetting, maybe see what they have for reviews and that sort of thing and ask around because, surprisingly, you know, we don't talk about the energy healing modalities unless we're starting to look around for them. But if you do mention them to people, often they will have heard of it and so, yeah, it's just reaching out, and I think that's the biggest thing. I tell people in grief Don't stop reaching out for different things, because you never know what particular phrase sentence energy healing modality coach therapist is going to take you to that next place that you need to go. And so it's just really being curious again and exploring what's out there for you, what could maybe help you, and it's really a kind of a trial and error thing, because some things don't work as well for certain people. We're all different and so it's really trying and then finding out what works for you Right.

A New Theory About Grief

Speaker 2 16:28

When people are grieving, they often think that they just need to get healed from grief. Well, I don't believe you can get healed from grief. I believe you just have to get through it. So what we're really trying to do is help alleviate the symptoms of grief. Would you agree with that perspective?

Speaker 3 16:46

Yeah, I have a theory about grief.

Speaker 3 16:49

Oh, let me hear it, yeah, so I really see grief as a process and I talk about this in my book, so there was a whole. Of course, everybody does this, but I asked a lot of questions, right, why, you know, why do I feel like this? Where's my loved one? Why did this happen to me? You know all those big existential questions that we ask when something traumatic happens, and through that, I asked a lot of questions about what grief really is, and when I looked at definitions, it was like a deep sorrow or a regret or you know, there's all kinds of definitions. But basically what I discovered was that for me, grief is really a process and I feel like it's a God-given process that helps us through when we need to let go.

Speaker 3 17:37

And if you think about life, there's so many times where things change, I mean even right from the womb, and I tell people, you know, when you had to leave the womb and come into this earth, there is grief. You know, you had to leave that warm place where you were. If we, you know our first teacher that we have, when we have to leave her and move to another one, there's grief in that process, right? And so we're always experiencing these changes and cycles in life, and this whole process of grief, I believe, was given to us to help us through that. We often look at it as something negative or bad, or I don't want to be in this, and that's because we're feeling all of these emotions that go with that process. So the sadness, the anger, the jealousy, all of those things that come up, the guilt, shame they don't feel good, and part of it is because we resist them, because we were trained that those are not good. Anger is not good, right. We shouldn't be angry, we shouldn't be bitter, we should be happy, we should be joyful, right. But there is this whole range of emotions that we came on earth to experience, and judging those ones that are coming up and trying to push them away because we don't want them really is the one thing that stops us from healing.

Speaker 3 19:00

And so what I do in my work is help people embrace those emotions that are coming up and help them to feel into them, to lean into them and to allow them to go through them, rather than hang on to them and grip for dear life.

Speaker 3 19:16

And so that's what I do, and I believe grief is that process. It is that process of moving you through and when you have those moments where I always give the example of when I saw the F-350 silver truck that looked just like Blaine's, all of a sudden I had this grief burst right, how I took that that evening and wrote about it and moved it through me. And I know now that every time that happened it was at the perfect time. It was at the time I was ready to release that particular emotion or that particular part of the wounding from my past right. And so I started to embrace those moments because I knew when I went through that, when I moved through that that I would feel better again, that I would feel lighter and I would have room to feel more joy and more happy, and so when the challenges come now it's different for me.

Speaker 3 20:11

You know you're still going to have life challenges, you're still going to have things come up, you're still going to have triggers every so often. But when they come, it's not like oh, no, it's more like oh. I wonder what this is about. I wonder what this is going to bring for healing for me. And it's moving through, but we have to be taught how to do that, and we aren't. So that's why grief has such a bad rap.

Speaker 2 20:34

So are some of the triggers then for these first, even years afterward and I still get some occasionally Are they something like a sign, or is the sign completely different?

Speaker 3 20:46

Well, actually it can be. A lot of people say that when you get a grief burst, depending on what it is, it's your loved one letting you know that they're there, that they're supporting you and loving you, and if you look at it that way, it's a totally different thing.

Speaker 2 21:03

It changes your entire perspective.

Speaker 3 21:05

Yes, it does the situation.

Speaker 2 21:06

it doesn't become as sad anymore. It's still sad because they're not there, but it's a reminder and maybe if we can kind of use it to bring back a pleasant memory.

Speaker 3 21:17

Yes.

Speaker 2 21:18

It's great how so many times we just really need to change our perspective Absolutely, and it's not easy when you're in grief because I mean, oh boy, it's hard.

Speaker 3 21:29

You know, I've never experienced anything like losing my spouse. Like I can't even compare it to anything. It was a devastating experience and going through it is tough. Yeah, it is yeah.

Angela's Offerings For Healing

Speaker 2 21:46

It really is Okay. Now, if someone comes to you as a new client I don't like to use the word patient as a new client and tells you that they're grieving and they need some help, where do you start?

Speaker 3 21:57

Well, that's usually where we start. So it's like starting to look at where you're at now and what are the things that are forefront in your mind, like what are the things that are coming up now for you? Because, as I say, with that griefing process, it's helping to lead you through and so when you notice these emotions or things that are starting to give you that dissonance, those are the things that you need to look at right. And so that's exactly where we start, right there, because everybody's unique and so it's going to be a different thing coming up for each person. I do have a program, a comprehensive program, that goes through all of you know the different facets of grief and the way we can move through grief, but I like to work one-on-one with people and, alongside that program program develop something unique for them depending on where you're at, and I would imagine a lot of the things that they learn, whether in this program or working with you directly, they can use for the rest of their lives.

Speaker 3 23:00

Oh, absolutely, this is a life skill.

Speaker 2 23:02

Yeah, it's a skill, because you're teaching them something they can do to make themselves feel better, unlike here's a pill. Because you're teaching them something they can do to make themselves feel better, unlike here's a pill. You're going to have to take this for the rest of your life.

Speaker 3 23:12

Absolutely.

Speaker 2 23:14

So I like that entire process. How we need to learn I think all of us do how to take care of ourselves better, and one of the ways to do that is to pick up some new skills, because I wasn't brought into this world knowing all of this. I need to learn it, but I have to want to learn it. So if someone's grieving, it's a perfect time. If you're going to redefine yourself anyway, why not pick up some new skills along the way, right?

Speaker 3 23:39

Absolutely yeah, and these skills, like I said, when new challenges come in in life and they will we'll be better prepared for it.

Speaker 2 23:47

Absolutely, absolutely, and all heavens if we decide to dip our toes in the pond of dating and everything, that's just a whole other level of problem. Okay, our time is winding down and this is the time in our sessions when I will turn the microphone over to my guest. So I'm doing that now for you, so you can speak directly to our listener without me interrupting with questions. So the floor is yours.

Speaker 3 24:12

Well, thank you so much. So I will say that pretty much everything that I offer is available on my website, which is healingenergyworld, and so there you will find my podcast, my blogs, my newspaper articles that I write links to my book Awakening Through Grief. So I just published this book last November and I'm working on the audio version right now. It should be out before the end of this year, and so there's that. There's also a support group that I host every 10 days. It's on Zoom. Everyone is welcome, and we talk about everything from grief to the afterlife, to spirituality, to whatever questions you have.

Speaker 3 25:01

I've got a wonderful core group of members there that have been through all kinds of things and have all kinds of wisdom and experience to share, and I truly believe that anyone that comes to that group when they come, it's not by accident. It's really a divinely guided experience, and so I encourage people to check that out, because it's free, and try that out. What else is on that website? I guess all of my offerings as far as healings go, and I also do angel readings, angel card readings, and I've started a new offering and you can contact me and ask me about this, but I'm working with a partner and he does messages for loved ones and I do the healing at the same time, and so this is really powerful. These are powerful sessions for anyone who wants to double down on the healing and getting the messages from the other side at the same time.

Speaker 2 25:59

So wow, that's a lot. Yeah, and it's all available on your website, as is your contact information. So my listeners know well enough, but if there are any new ones out there, please know that all of Angela's contact information and her social media links that she has, they will all be in the podcast notes, so please check there near the bottom. You don't have to read all the notes, no, you can just go directly to the bottom and find your contact information. But I encourage you to check out her website and consider reaching out to her.

Speaker 2 26:30

It sounds like the support group would be fascinating in and of itself and might also be a good way to get to know Angela better. Because we all know, and we've talked about how, if you're going to have a therapist, clinician, practitioner whatever name you want to affix to them, if you're going to work with someone on your grief or any other life's problem, we need to have a relationship with that person. So the more exposure you can give yourself with that person, the better you will be able to determine whether or not this is someone you want to work with. So it sounds like your support group might serve that purpose quite well. It almost sounds to me, and I don't mean to trivialize quite well, it almost sounds to me and I don't need to trivialize this but it almost sounds like one-stop shopping. You have so many options that you can make available to people that they really can kind of sink their teeth into finding something that would work for them, and I think that is just so, so interesting.

Speaker 2 27:26

So now, unfortunately and somebody told me that every podcast issue at the end I grieve because I'm always sad to sign off and say until next time. But here we go, it's that time again. Listeners, again, I encourage you to visit Angela at her website or support her by her book. However you want to do it, it's all up to you, but she has much, much information. She also has such a quiet demeanor about her that I think it would just be so calming and soothing to work with Angela as well. But I leave it to you. In the meantime, take care of yourselves, my dear listener, and I hope you tune in again next time for another guest, and just take care of yourselves too, as we all continue to live and grieve.

Speaker 1 28:16

Thank you so much for listening with us today. Do you have a topic that you'd like us to cover or do you have a question from one of our episodes? Please email us at info at as I live and grievecom, and let us know. We hope you will find a moment to leave a review, send an email and share with others. Join us next time as we continue to live and grieve together.