Reliving His Story

The space between devastating loss and finding meaning again often seems impossible to navigate. Steve Gamlin takes us on his extraordinary journey through that landscape after suddenly losing his wife Tina in December 2023 while traveling abroad. With remarkable candor and unexpected moments of joy, Steve reveals how their 17.5-year love story continues beyond physical separation.

What makes this conversation truly special is Steve's ability to intertwine heart-wrenching grief with profound gratitude. He shares how Tina had gently prepared him for her passing, saying "I'm going first because I don't want to be here without you." Even as he processed the shock of her sudden death, Steve discovered how she'd already been his "blue-eyed angel" - leaving him with exactly what he needed when he found himself alone in a foreign country.

The emotional centerpiece of their story involves sticky notes - the small, everyday expressions of love they exchanged throughout their relationship. After Tina's passing, Steve discovered she'd kept every single one he'd written her. He transformed these treasured mementos into a framed collage, creating both a tribute and a tangible connection to their enduring bond.

Steve explains how visualization techniques helped him process grief and find direction when everything seemed lost. His approach focuses not just on material goals but on emotional wellbeing, core values, and meaningful connections - elements that become even more crucial when navigating loss. He offers practical insights for listeners struggling to recognize signs from loved ones who have passed, encouraging us to quiet the analytical mind and simply be present to the nudges and coincidences that might actually be something more.

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Credits: 
Music by Kevin MacLeod 

Copyright 2020, by As I Live and Grieve

The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent.

Transcript

Welcome to As I Live and Grieve

Speaker 1 0:01

Welcome to as I Live and Grieve, a podcast that tells the truth about how hard this is. We're glad you joined us today. We know how hard it is to lose someone you love and how well-intentioned friends and family try so hard to comfort us. We created this podcast to provide you with comfort, knowledge and support. We are grief advocates, not professionals, not licensed therapists. We are you.

Speaker 2 0:28

Hi everyone, welcome back again to another episode of as I Live in Grief. Again, I appreciate so much that you take the time to listen. I say take the time, but since I know for a fact one of the statistics is that 97% of you are using a mobile device so I'm going to make that assumption. Well, no, I'm just going to know in my heart that that means at least 90% of the 97 mobile devices are moving somewhere. You're in the car with your kids dropping them off, picking them up, you're doing housework, you're walking the dog or maybe, just maybe, you're sitting by a pool somewhere in the sunny Caribbean. Isn't that nice? With me today is Steve Gamlin. Hi, steve, thanks for joining me.

Meet Steve Gamlin: Goals and Loss

Speaker 3 1:15

Thank you so much for having me. I'm looking forward to our conversation.

Speaker 2 1:18

Oh, me too, me too. The way I usually start out for our listeners is to ask my guests in this case that would be you to just introduce yourself, tell our listeners a little bit about you and let them know who is he.

Speaker 3 1:34

Well, the story of me, who I am now at age 57, started when I was around 11 years old and I had four goals for my life. I wanted to be a radio DJ because at the time there was a guy on TV named Dr Johnny Fever on WKIP. I remember.

Speaker 2 1:49

Dr Johnny Fever.

Speaker 3 1:51

He was my hero. So I wanted to be a radio DJ. I wanted to be a stand-up comedian because Steve Martin was huge at the time with his Wild and Crazy Guy album. I also wanted to be an author of my own books because my mom instilled a love of reading and writing in myself and my sister and I wanted to be a teacher of people, but not in a classroom setting and I didn't quite know what I wanted it to be, but I just loved to make people laugh and help them to learn things and fast forward through the highest highs and the lowest lows.

Speaker 3 2:20

I've actually gotten to enjoy all of those things. I enjoyed a 10-year successful radio career. I have published four books so far. I did enjoy seven years of stand-up comedy and I've gotten to be a speaker for the past 20 years with messages of positivity, gratitude, visualization is a huge part of what I do and up until early December, for a total of because I did the math 6,386 days, I got to be head over heels in love with my true soulmate, my beautiful now my beautiful blue-eyed angel, tina. That's 17 and a half years we got to be together. Our story was one in a million. We literally brought a fairy tale to life and, like I said, we got to enjoy it for 6,386 days until she passed away in early December, suddenly and unexpectedly, while we were traveling outside the country.

Coping with Recent Grief

Speaker 2 3:19

Oh dear, that's a whole different level of grief. It was Goodness. That's you in a nutshell, and I love it. I love that you had these goals and you've achieved them and even through the sadness, I hear in your voice so much positivity. So December 2024 is not that long ago. That's very recent. How are you doing in your grief journey?

Speaker 3 3:42

I'm doing okay. You know, people say some people in my own industry, which is why some days I just think my industry can be so full of garbage. Every day above ground is a great day. Well, it's not. It's as good as you choose to make it. It's as good as you choose to pick yourself up out of whatever you're dealing with. My emotions have been all over the place, Of course, obviously, since then. We had just arrived in London and 24 hours later Tina passed away very suddenly and I was in, the farther removed I get from it the longer I realized that I was actually in shock, and that shock lasted more than a month. Yes, I have attended an eight-week group grief counseling sessions, and also Tina's company was so very generous. They gifted me eight hours of one-on-one calls with a grief counselor.

Speaker 2 4:36

Oh, that's a wonderful gift.

Speaker 3 4:38

Both of those were so helpful yeah helpful.

Speaker 3 4:41

And one of the things that I've really found is by stopping and breathing and focusing is my connection to Tina is as strong as it ever was. She's just not here physically. She showed herself to be present when I was still in England. It took two and a half weeks for me to get out of there and as soon as I arrived here back at our home, she has already shown even before she passed, she was already being my angel. It's always referred to as my beautiful blue-eyed angel and some people say, well, I see angels. Sometimes I go. Well, mine's the one wearing fabulous shoes.

Speaker 3 5:18

Tina knew her fashion oh my gosh, the brand name she knew and she was so well put together. Even her coworkers from 26 years ago that's how long she worked for the company she worked for. Even back then they said Tina was the sweetest, kindest, gentlest, most naturally strikingly beautiful person who always looked so well put together. And I'm a jeans and t-shirts guy and I just always say Tina was just, always, so just beautiful, no matter where she was. She just carried this beauty about her and I'm still so connected to that.

Vision Boarding Through Grief

Speaker 2 6:01

Oh, that's beautiful. I love the way you speak of her. It's just so enlightening to me to have a loss that recent and that traumatic, having it been sudden that you are this positive Now. You mentioned focus, and I think you even had the word vision in there. I read in your profile that you have a proprietary method for vision boarding.

Speaker 3 6:27

I do.

Speaker 2 6:28

Have you used this in your grief at all? I have Maybe not yet.

Speaker 3 6:33

No, I have.

Speaker 3 6:34

I have, In little dribs and drabs, I've been formulating my next vision board in my head for the past couple of months and I'm just about ready to put it all together, because the way I use visualization, I talk about eight major areas of life, not just the material things like what I call the vision board starter kit that so many people say.

Speaker 3 6:55

Steve, I made a vision board a Lamborghini, a yacht, a mansion, a prime cachette, a big hog and gold watch and a bank vault full of gold bars and stuff in pallets of cash and I spray just the most amazing letter to Santa Claus I've ever heard what's really important to you in life, and not just what do you want to get, but who do you want to become in the process of getting there. And so when I work with people, it's physical health, your emotional wellbeing, set goals for the emotions you want to feel, your closest relationships, the core values inside you that guide everything you think, speak and do. Your faith, which really does the same thing, but the authority and energy come from a different direction. Your connection to people in real ways, and then your work and your money.

Speaker 1 7:39

Wow.

Speaker 3 7:39

So that's the approach. That's how I put my life together 22 years ago, back together after I destroyed it by walking away from my radio career. My first marriage ended in divorce and at age 35, I was $62,000 in debt. Oh goodness, because I was just chasing money and burning out and that's all I was doing. So I've learned over the years. I've never invested in anybody else's program. I just learned this little bit, little bit, little bit, and it helped me to create the most amazing relationship with Tina. I always call her my Tina.

Speaker 2 8:13

Of course.

Speaker 3 8:14

Right Even at her celebration of life, people came up and they said I just loved how you always called her my Tina, and even now I still refer to her as my Tina.

Speaker 2 8:25

She's treasured. You know, yeah, know, yeah. On the vision board, I can see, especially if you're talking about core values and and emotions and things on that level I can see how this could be a handy tool for someone who's grieving, to kind of help them get moving in the right direction, because you often, we often feel stuck and we we may know. I mean, ultimately, if you say, what do you want? Well, I want my life before I lost whoever I lost. That's what I want. Well, that's not possible.

Speaker 2 8:56

How close can we get? Do you have them go through like naming things, like how did well, my husband Tom, how did Tom make me feel? For example, what were some of the emotions that I really treasured, what are some of the memories? To go through that process? I almost think you should start a course in this with your vision board for grievers, because I think it could be so helpful. One of the things we need is to kind of be pulled out of that first phase. We need to start to look forward and start to see the things we want, identify them and then figure out which direction. What steps do we need to go to get moving in that direction? Is that kind of how it works.

Speaker 3 9:39

Most definitely yeah, and in this case we're reaching backward a little bit to do some research.

Speaker 3 9:45

I mean, obviously we're so we're sad in the moment because this person is no longer with us physically, in the physical realm. What I love to ask people because they're so sad and they're so distraught, even if it's been a couple of years, they're still so sad and they're stuck in that cycle of missing this person A question I love to ask now and I say right up front I'm not a licensed therapist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist counselor, anything- I say right up front I'm not a licensed therapist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, counselor, anything.

Speaker 3 10:13

I say the same thing. In my intro I said yeah, I'm not any of that, I'm just you. Yep, I'm just me. My diploma is a little chalkboard here in my recording studio on which I wrote the word this guy lived it and I drew an arrow and I put my face in front of the arrow and take a selfie. That's what qualified.

Speaker 3 10:25

So where I start with a lot of people is tell me about the person you lost. What were your favorite moments each day, even the simplest things. Don't tell me the big, grand gestures, tell me the little things, because Tina and I oh my gosh, a million little things, and that's what I love most. I'll say well, did that person know your love language? Yeah, what is your love language? Well, I love little gestures and kindness and cuddling and snuggling and touching. Well, how did that person show that? Or how did you express that to each other? Oh, we did this and this. And then I see their eyes start to light up a bit and it can be sad and tap into emotions that maybe they haven't felt in a while, but they're remembering the joy and not just the loss, and that's why I love being part of shows and conversations like this, because I get to relive yeah the greatest moments of me and my tina.

Speaker 3 11:13

Yeah, I get it, and the simpler the better. Yeah, we both spoke the same love language. Now here's the thing we both were so dedicated to speaking it fluently. Tina kept every card I ever gave her in 17 and a half years and I did the same and I used to love several times a week. I would leave her little sticky notes on her desk Because I would start my day shortly before she started hers, so I'd sneak into her office and leave her a note what I found after she passed and after I came home. She'd kept all of them. She kept them all.

Finding Humor in Healing

Speaker 3 11:45

I made a collage out of 41 of them. It's under glass in a big frame, nice, and I created about a month after I got home and started finding all these things, all my eyes out the whole time, because I remembered some of them. Yeah, I remembered actually writing some of them and what triggered me to write it. So it got deeper and deeper in reliving the most joyful, loving, caring, passionate moments of us and who we were together, and it was never 50-50, it was 100-100 from day one and that makes it even better.

Speaker 2 12:19

Yeah, sounds like another healing modality. Instead of, as many grievers do, sit on the couch, have the TV on for that brown noise and sob or sleep, nap whatever, but just sit there, you got to get up and move and, even though it hurts, to clear things out, as I'm sure it must have been very painful for you to clear out your office, your desk, and find those notes, you took those and turned them into not only a wonderful tribute but a wonderful memory, because every time you look at there you might just another note might catch your eye and it'll take you right back to that day, that time and the reason you wrote the note. I just love that. How did you? Did the groups you attended or the therapist you spoke with, did they make any of these suggestions? Or was this just Steve bumbling his way through his grief?

Speaker 3 13:15

This was pretty much me just being me Okay and just doing all of these things. And I actually brought that frame with all the notes in it for one of the weeks because they said you know, we'd like to give you a little bit of homework. If you're okay with it, bring something next week that represents your loved one, whether it's a picture of them or a memory or something. And I brought that frame with the 41 notes and everybody just said oh my gosh, I can feel the love you had for tina. And then I shared a picture of her and they just said she's just gorgeous, just beautiful, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 13:51

Wow. You can tell from her just how kind and beautiful and gentle and generous and and just shining she was for for such a person who did not like being in the spotlight. Now, as a speaker, I used to share our story on stage all the time and she would always roll her eyes. She was a world gold medal Olympic eye roller. She would always go roll her eyes and say, honey, aren't you tired of telling our story yet? And I said, no, I've never actually told it. I've relived it a couple hundred times on stage, but I've never actually told it. And people love it. It gives them hope.

Speaker 2 14:24

Oh, and how lucky was she to have someone like you, steve truly. And even now I know she's looking down, I know she's there with you and she's just so proud of the person you've become, despite grieving so I still want to roll her eyes.

Speaker 3 14:39

I'm sure you probably do you probably do.

Speaker 2 14:41

Maybe that's when I hope so the thunder clouds start, you know, or something. Maybe she's yeah her eyes. Yeah, now, you mentioned being a stand-up comedian as well, and I I think my perception is that most stand-up comics take just things that happen to them every day little stories here, and their details they find and that's what they use as their material 100 grieving or grieving implanted your sense of humor at all.

Speaker 3 15:10

It has. Actually, I've found so many moments that I know Tina is here and, case in point, she had already bought a whole bunch of Christmas gifts for the holidays and our dining room table was covered with them and while we were in England, many more came and showed up. Well, of course, when I get home, I returned as many as I could to get them off of her cards, and there were a couple that were. I was pretty sure of who it was going to and I said okay, it's cooking related. It's probably going to Tina's boss, his husband, because he does all the cooking in their home. And then, of course, I start playing volleyball on my head going well, am I really sure? You know what I'll do? I'll just give it to the neighbors across the street and the neighbors next door. I'll split the gifts.

Speaker 3 15:55

And as soon as I said that out loud, the song that was playing on Alexa stopped cold and it was one of Tina's favorite songs. And it just stopped cold and I just looked up and go okay, I'll send it to Craig. I tried to just take the easy road out and walk it across the street instead of milling it thousands of miles, and Ina gently told me by turning off the music. As soon as I stated my intention of what I was going to do, she stopped the music and I realized she wants this to go to Craig.

Speaker 2 16:25

Now, have you always been a believer in signs from beyond, signs from people's next time?

Speaker 3 16:32

A hundred percent, a hundred percent. I've lost, just in the last six and a half years, five people.

Speaker 2 16:38

Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 16:40

And I sense all of them at different times, here and there in my life and in my path.

Speaker 2 16:45

Okay, how did that belief come to you? Do you remember? Was it in childhood? Did you get a sign and figure out that's got to be what it is, do you recall?

Recognizing Signs from Beyond

Speaker 3 16:55

I've just always felt it and I remember, probably in my childhood as well. But I remember when I was 24 years old, broken, depressed, living on my grandfather's couch, and I had a friend named Danny who asked me why I never followed my dream of being on the radio, which I talked about so much but never did anything about. And in the summer of 92, I went to broadcast school, got an internship not even a paid job at the end and Danny was so proud and of course I got the I told you so speech and three weeks later Danny passed away. He passed away from cancer. He had had it twice before and it just came back very quickly and took him away. But he got to see me do that and I enjoyed a 10-year radio career. I worked 15 years worth of hours in it and burnt myself out and decided to just walk away.

Speaker 3 17:41

But one of the last things I remember was at a concert in front of 15,000 people that our radio stations had created and at the end there was a big firework show with the music background and everything, and I was sitting on the front of the stage with my legs hanging off the stage, knowing I was burnt out, I was fried, I was not doing well, emotionally, physically, mentally, anything. And I was looking up and and all of a sudden I thought of Danny and as the fireworks are going off, I got tears coming out of both eyes and I said, man, can you believe this? Thank you. And I just talked to him and remembered that all of this happened because he believed in me when I didn't, and I trusted him and I've just always felt that I've had these people I've lost as guardian angels, these people I've lost as guardian angels.

Speaker 3 18:28

And Tina proved, even the day before she passed, that she was already looking out for me. She used to say she knew she had ischemic heart disease. We did not know it was as bad as it was and she never let on because she didn't want to be fussed over. And she was also struggling for 18 months with the side effects of menopause. It hit her hard. She hadn't slept a solid night of sleep in a year and a half.

Speaker 2 18:48

Oh goodness.

Speaker 3 18:49

We used to sit there and she would say we'd sit on the couch watching TV. She'd turn to me during a commercial and say you realize I'm going first, right? And I'd look at her, me being me and us being us. I'd say, well, why do you get to go first? And she'd get in her very soft voice and she would say, because I don't want to be here without you, To which I would, of course, answer, me being me, so I don't even get a choice. And she'd say no, and she would just turn right back and watch TV like it was nothing. And, of course, afterward I realized that she'd been prepping me for this for the last two years. Oh goodness, yeah.

Speaker 3 19:26

And the day before she passed we had just arrived in London I took a picture of a building across the street because it looked like the Nakatomi Plaza building in the movie Die Hard. Okay, and I thought that was funny because it's not Christmas until you see Hans Gruber fall off Nakatomi Plaza. Die Hard is a Christmas movie, that's right. I used her camera to take that picture and then, when we got back to our room, I said oh, babe, what's the password for your phone so I can get that picture. In 17 and a half years I'd never asked her for the password for her phone and the next morning she was gone. And because I had that password, I had access to our hotel reservation, our flight's home, the limousine company picking us up in Boston, her family's phone numbers.

Speaker 2 20:10

Yep, she took care of you.

Speaker 3 20:11

Yeah, she was already taking care of me the day before she passed and looking out for me.

Speaker 2 20:17

And it may not have even been a conscious thought of hers. It's just the way it happened. Yeah, I love that you recognize these signs. It's been a bit more of a struggle for me because I mean, in school, honor student, science and math, that was it, you know.

Speaker 2 20:36

So I'm always analyzing things and I talked with a number of people in a particular workshop I was in. We were talking about signs and being open for them and I think, yeah, well, you know okay about signs and being open for them. And I think, yeah, well, you know okay what's being open, what are those steps, and you know. So we went back and forth and back and forth. After a period of time I got better and I see some signs, but I certainly don't see or feel or recognize as many as I would really like to, whether it's from Tom or my mom or my dad, and decades ago I lost an infant son even, and I would love to have some kind of a sign from him. But it's been a struggle and I know for many listeners too it's a struggle and you want so badly to have that communication. Do you have any thoughts, any tips, how people might be a little more open to it?

Speaker 3 21:28

And see, this is where you and I are wired differently, because my sister and I, as close as we are, we're super close. We're only 16 months apart. I always joke and I don't mean this to be self-deprecating, because I used to be really badly self-deprecating my sister got the brains and I got the really cool job, meaning she's more academic, she's more structured, she's an accountant. So everything is in a spreadsheet, everything has a purpose and a flow and a system.

Speaker 2 21:54

Got to balance, whereas.

Speaker 3 21:57

I swear that a hippie must have died right before February 13th 1968, who smoked a ton of weed because I'd never touched it in my life. But I am so plugged into flow and feeling and awareness and all of my senses just get lit up by whatever I happen to see around me, wherever I am. So I think that helps me to not filter out things that might not be logical. Or some people will say, wow, what a coincidence that was. To which I say, no, it was supposed to be that way, I was just aware of it. So if people can just calm their brain down in a situation where they are and just be aware, don't try to explain why anything is happening. Just look around at the gift that God gave you in that moment whatever you choose to believe in a higher power, if you do and just say what could the world be saying to me right now? What can I find in this scene that's outside my window right now? What can I see in the sky? If there's a bunch of clouds playing tag in the sky on that day, what does one of them maybe remind you of Every morning, right after I work out?

Speaker 3 23:03

I? It's a tablespoon of olive oil. It's an eighth of a teaspoon of cayenne pepper, it's a squeeze of lemon juice and it's a couple little drops of honey to dilute the cayenne pepper. Right, and I stir it up and I drink it, and then I swirl my finger around to get the rest of it out. Well, this morning I was swirling my finger and all of a sudden I went oh my gosh, that's a giraffe, literally like drawing art with cayenne, pepper and honey.

Speaker 3 23:33

It was a giraffe, a tall giraffe in the bottom of the little bowl, One of my clients. That's her animal of choice, that is her favorite animal on the planet and her nickname is Giraffrica, Jen Giraffe Africa. And I wish I'd taken a picture, but my finger was still moving and I wiped out the giraffe. But I will tell her today. Sure, I said I thought of you this morning because in this little bowl I saw a giraffe for a half a second. So that's a sign that I'm supposed to be in touch with her in some way today. And you watch. After this conversation I'll go upstairs. I'll probably have a message from her.

Speaker 2 24:01

From her. Yeah, yeah.

Steve's Books and Blue Collar Woo

Speaker 3 24:07

And that's what I encourage people to be Just be. Just be where you are, turn your brain on pause or hit the dimmer switch and stop trying to explain or systematize everything and just enjoy what shows up. And your mind can get blown some days when all of a sudden two, three, four, seven things have happened, because you're being aware and you wonder how many more.

Speaker 2 24:25

you're missing all this time, yeah, and I just heard something in what you were relating, that kind of. It was almost like a light bulb warm for me. You didn't see the light go on over my head. Not only do you see something, maybe that's just a little unique, or maybe you haven't noticed it before, but you need to make a connection. You need to connect it to something Like.

Speaker 2 24:48

I remember, for example, being on a cruise. We were in port, walking down the street. I don't know. Here we are at a corner, which way do we want to go for shops? And I just arbitrarily said, oh, I don't know, I want to go this way. So we turned right and walked down the street and within seconds I was standing in front of the store that sold only hot sauce. Now, I don't like hot sauce.

Speaker 2 25:10

Tom loved hot sauce. He loved hot sauce so much we had an entire kitchen cupboard, three shelves full of hot sauce, that he had never opened. Anywhere we travel, he would find the unique hot sauce and I used to tease him and tell him that he bought it just for the labels. It was more of an artistic delight than it was culinary. Yeah, and I just stopped and I almost kind of frozen, but in that store for a moment and I just had these great memories of Tom because we used to go on cruises together and I just stood there and smiled, yeah, but if I hadn't made that connection hot sauce equals Tom, yeah I would have lost that moment. Yeah, so when you recognize something, see there's a connection to someone.

Speaker 3 25:55

Yeah, and I call them nudges. I did a couple of weeks ago and I said, oh, tina nudged me again and I reached out to this particular person and, as it turned out, it was the perfect day to do that because we had a great conversation, and they'll say what made you call me today. I said, I don't know, tina nudged me a little bit.

Speaker 2 26:15

Yeah, yeah, oh, that's great, that's wonderful. I just love it. Well, it's been a delight talking to you and you're just such a fun person and so such easy conversation. But this is the point in the podcast where I turn the microphone over to my guests and this is your opportunity to speak directly to our listeners, without me interrupting with questions or I'll try to not ask questions until you're done but please, if nothing else, tell us about the books you've written. It's just share with the listeners anything you'd like. The floor is yours.

Speaker 3 26:49

Sure, thank you. My books are typically short books. They're often quote books or short stories, because I don't read 400-page books, so I don't write 400-page books. And my brand as a speaker it's called Motivational Firewood, meaning if you have a spark in your heart of something you wish to create in your life but you're feeling stuck, you're not quite sure where to go. If a story, a lesson, a meme, a video, a podcast conversation, wink, wink, happen to give you an idea of your next step to take and you add that to the spark in your heart, together we create fire. So my books are an extension of that. The first one is called 20 to Life in a Good Way. The second one is called oh Yay, another Quote Book. And at the end of that one there were four quotes from a tiny little rescued dog named Super Teddy, who was a Yorkie Pomeranian adopted by my wife, tina and her mom. And then Teddy got his own book called bust out of your crate, super Teddy's top 20 tips for people to be as happy as dogs. So he got his own little book that made him famous and Tina and her mom adopted them and, according to my mother-in-law, I spent the next 11 years pimping him out to the world because he was adorable.

Speaker 3 28:03

So I just try to bring whatever I discover around me or whoever. I just try to bring real life into everything I share, because I'm a real, genuine person. I don't speak in woo-woo language. What I do is often called woo-woo visualization and vision boards manifestation the way I explain my style. It's blue collar woo, meaning I'll hand you some tools, we'll roll up our sleeves, we'll get down in the dirt together and we'll do some work and we'll create something pretty beautiful together emotions, the things, the way you want to feel in the future, not just the lifestyle you want, but the way you want to be yourself, the person you want to be.

Speaker 2 28:52

I could never have designed a vision board for the person I am now, because I didn't know till I got here that, gee, I kind of like this lady. She's an old lady, she's full of spunk and sass and she's going to be around for a long time. But from the vision boards to your books, now you have a TED Talk in your future.

Speaker 3 29:10

I'm working on it. I did submit it. I'm just waiting to hear back if I've been selected for this particular one, and if not, I'll just look for the next one.

Speaker 2 29:17

Keep trying Well. So, listeners, listen for him, watch for him in a TED Talk as well. If you've enjoyed hearing what he's had to say, go get his books. I'm going to check his books out. I love quotes and I love things like that and I often gift things like that because it's those little blurbs and sometimes when you're grieving, you can't read a whole chapter, not for nothing. But you know you talk about a 400-page book. Sometimes it's a struggle to read three paragraphs. So any book that has little brief excerpts, stories whatever I'm always up for that. They're real easy to you know. I even take one when I'm standing in line at the grocery store sometimes and I'll just reach in my purse and pull out the book while I'm waiting.

Episode Closing

Speaker 2 30:00

It's been a delight having you and don't be surprised if at some point I reach out and try to snatch you back again for another guest appearance, because it's been such a light-hearted, comfortable, easy conversation with you. My lights just flickered. I wonder if that's Tom telling me something. It's time to stop talking. He used to try to cut me off all the time. So, with that being said, listeners, I'm going to wrap it up. I'm going to say take care of yourselves, whether it's finding the right community support, whether it's finding the right book, whether it's finding the right TED Talk. Take care of yourselves and catch us again next time, as we all continue to live and grieve. Thanks again, steve.

Speaker 3 30:43

Thank you.

Speaker 1 30:47

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