Called to Serve - Guests are Deacon Doug and Sheila Cook - Pt. 1

Deacon Russ Millspaugh was ordained a permanent deacon for the Diocese of Orange in 2017.  He is assigned to San Antonio Parish in Anaheim Hills.  He married wife Jody in 1985; they have four children.  Deacon Russ has been involved in Boy Scouts, Fiesta, Youth Ministry, Cursillo and TMIY Men’s Group.  He and Jody are now leading Marriage Formation for engaged couples and Marriage Enrichment for married couples.  In this episode, they interview Deacon Doug and Shelia Cook; Deacon Cook was ordained to the diaconate 43 years ago.

Called to Serve Airs weekdays t at 3pm and Mondays at 5pm live at spiritfilledmedia.org

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Transcript

announcement: 0:39

Welcome to call to serve on the spirit filled radio network. As baptized believers and followers of Our Lord, each of us has been called to love and serve one another. This program will offer practical ways of serving and sharing our faith. Here's your host to get us started.

Unknown: 1:00

Hello, we're Deacon rush and Jody Mills coming to you from spirit filled radio with our program called to serve. In First Peter chapter four, verse 10. It says, as each has received a gift, employ for one another as good stewards of God's varied grace. And we have with us this morning, Deacon Doug is Sheila Cook, who are great stewards of God's very grace. Deacon Doug Chela, welcome to spirit filled radio and being on our program today called to serve. Yeah, thank you for having us. We really want to thank you guys, for being here. You too, have been so instrumental in our lives, where we've started out at at our parish 24 years ago to where we are today. You guys have been the catalyst for getting us here. So we're really very grateful for the both of you. And I'm going to share your story here. Because you guys have an incredible story. So yes, you do. And before we do that, let us begin with the prayer the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen. Come, Holy Spirit. And sang, and we shall let us pray. Oh, God instructs our Holy Spirit, we truly wise. Or Amen. Father said Holy Spirit, Amen. So Deacon Doug and Sheila, how long have you guys been married? 56 years. 56 years? We gotta wait to go. Yes, we do. And how many kids do you have to choose two sons, and any grandchildren? We have? Or plus one in heaven? Oh, beautiful boys, girls. Let's see. We have one boy that just finally was born and all the risks girls, that a little boy in heaven would have been the other boy. Oh, wow. And we have a great grandson. Wow. So a great grandson as well. Oh, we baptized our little newborn. We baptized him last Saturday. Oh, isn't that one of the wonderful Perks of Being a deacon? Yeah, no. Yeah, that's beautiful. So the other thing that I that I looked up, I had to google it. No, I looked it up is that you have been ordained as a deacon for 43 years now. Coming up, yeah, a couple of weeks. And there's only you and one other Deacon left in that class of being the oldest ordained Deacons in your diocese. There's only two of us left ordained in the 70s. myself and Dr. Dave Sire. That were the last two. Yeah. Wow. So I'm sure over those years, you've seen it kind of grow to be different of how the diaconate is carried out? Yeah, it most definitely. When I when I was first ordained. I remember saying to our pastor, Father, Seamus, what does a deacon do? And he said, I have no idea. I don't even know what a deacon is. But it was that way. In the beginning. Nobody knew what a deacon was. And nobody was really sure what a deacon was supposed to do. Right. So we were kind of trailblazers, we were sort of setting the path for the guys that came after us. And so it's been it's been exciting. And exciting. 43 It's hard to believe it's 43 years. So yeah, I just a baby. I'm only four. They have so much more things that they have to study and do. Like visiting the jails and going hospital visits and so on that they didn't have us do. And I really feel it sad in a way that they didn't. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were not only trailblazers, but those who trained us weren't really sure what to do. Right. And there weren't at that time. I don't believe there are any national guidelines. Now there are guidelines on diaconal formation and I don't think there were then If there were they were fairly loosely followed or fairly loosely administered. I know one of the complaints in the early days was all the diocese were doing different things. And they've tried to standardize that now for the formation of Deacon. So we were very much on the front end, we were pretty much trained in a seminary model. All our professors came out of St. John's camera real. And we were trained in LA, because orange did not have a DI cadet program yet. So we were trained in LA with the LA guys, but we were training for Orange. And the only way you tell the difference, we had an orange nametag and they had a blue name. And we were trained in orange diocese, so we didn't have to go very far for our training, but you guys had to go in LA for training. Yeah, we had to drive downtown Los Angeles. We're at Loyola, next to Loyola law school. And right across the street from the old St. Viviana cathedral. Wow. So yeah, it was a long drive. And it was really a tough drive when the Dodgers were playing. Oh, God, because we got caught in Dodger traffic. Yeah. But but it was good. Actually, looking back, it went really way too fast. Yeah. Now I'm very curious, because I know you know, when Russ and and a lot of the deacons, those are Deacon candidates are considering the DAC in it. They have examples, like you and many of the deacons have come before us to kind of see what a deacon does, right? You didn't have that. So how did you come up? Not come up back you came up with but how did you discern to be a deacon and how did you get that calling? Well, that calling came from Persia. And I'd have to say, in the early days of our marriage, Sheila was the active one. She was involved, started the religious ed program at San Antonio church. And so when the parish founded father Seamus was very happy to have her as the dare. He was okay with me. I guess I came along. Because he didn't know what to do with the deacon, but he absolutely knew I needed Sheila to be Dre. So but my my call came in conceal. Right after crucio there was a man on the currency Oh, that I talked to, who was studying to be a deacon in San Diego. And he told me his son be a deacon, what's a deacon? And so he was explaining to me what a deacon was. And I thought, oh, that's I didn't know anything about that. I had never heard of that before. A see our permanent diga be permanently a deacon. I thought okay, I again, I didn't, I had not heard of that. And I didn't give it much thought on the kharsia weekend. After the current sale, I start getting just bombarded by the Holy Spirit. That's something I need to look into. So when I called the diocese, they didn't have a program and I Okay, well, takes care of that. But then someone told me a deacon, a bob Mackie, who became a deacon. I was studying in LA to be a deacon, he thought he would be an LA Deacon. But then the diocese was formed. And they said, Get a hold Bob Mackie. And so I talked to Bob, and he gave me the name of the priest in charge of diaconal formation in Los Angeles. I called him we had a lunch meeting downtown Los Angeles. He said mass downtown every day at noon. So I went down, went to mass, and then we went and had lunch. And he explained to me the program gave me all the paperwork. And that's kind of how it started. was nobody in orange really knew much about it. Yeah. So prior to your calling and crucio into the DACA program, how were you guys as a couple in your prayer life, your your church life? We were both very involved. Let's see, I've taught and been involved in the RCI program for 33 years now. Wow. And so and plus I, as you said, I started the religious ed program at San Antonio. And I became a master catechist administrator through their program through the diocese and Loyola Marymount. So I think as a couple, we were always going to morning mass and just involved. And crucio was a good, a big important part in our life. At that time. We went down to San Diego to be involved in crucio weekends because there wasn't one anoint yet. So we used to drive all the way down to San Diego and almost all the way down to the border one time to be on a team and we did that drove down together. All the way down to San Diego. Wow. Yeah, team formation, of course was in San Diego. I was really in Solana Beach. So every Friday we drove to team formation in Solana Beach. We did that for years driving every Friday after work afterward driving to Salado beach. It was it was but we loved cars do and Yeah. And it didn't seem like it was a chore. Yeah. But she's the one that actually signed me to teach, you know, they made a call at mass for a confirmation teachers, they didn't have enough confirmation teachers. And I was home watching the kids, she came home and said, they needed confirmation teachers. We were at St. Norbert parish at the time. And I said, Oh, that's too bad that there's shortage of teachers. She's Yeah, it is. So I signed you up. So that's kind of how I got started. Because of her, she signed me up. And then we taught Junior High High School, did High School retreats, we we even wrote our own retreat that we used to do for the high school confirmation students and go into big bear or arrowhead with them. So that's how we got started. And she was, she was really involved. Plus, they had a program at St. Norbert, that you can homeschool your children for First Communion. And we did that and you homeschool your kids did their lessons every week and then wasn't once a month, I think we met at all the families that were homeschooling and family kind of as a family. Beautiful. So all the families that were homeschooling come together on Sunday for a program and a social and it was really a lot of fun with the kid and the kids all got to be together with the other kids. And the homeschooling. So it didn't seem so bad for them. Because they knew they weren't the only ones doing right. Yeah, right. Yeah. It was great. Gosh, it was really good. Now I'm curious, Sheila, because you sound like you were the the leader as far as in the beginning stages of doing stuff and action with with your faith, being the DRE but not only being a Dre developing the program? RCA not just doing RCA, you developed RCA. Where did the or how did you discern? That's what you felt called to do versus the various other calls and our faith? Well, it's interesting. They had a call from the pulpit at St. Norbert for needing teachers for elementary. And I went down and I said I'd really like to teach. I said my kids are young. And I think at that time they were preschool. And they said, Oh, great sign up. And I said yes, I'd be glad to. But I want to take a course first to be a good teacher. And they really looked at me like, boy, that's strange that somebody there Yes. See that dedicated about it. So I took a course at St. Anthony claret, by the way, I think it was Father John Satorious. Way back, wow. And Dorothy ankles, and so on was way back then I took a course so that I could teach. And so then I started the directing the Sunday school program for four or five and six year olds, and did that at St. Norbert. And then when my kids reached First Communion, then I became the director of the first communion program at St. Norbert. And then by then they were starting San Antonio. So that's when father Seamus knew I was involved and got me going. But I will mention that I'm a convert. And I grew up with no religion in my family at all. So it was very important to me to really be involved and to, you know, really pray and get to mass and things like that because I had none of that at home. And not only did she take a course. But then she continued and became one of the first master cabacas The Diocese of orange then that's one of the things when father's shamans heard. She was a master catechists he was so excited. And he said I want to meet her I want to meet her. I was actually talking to him about the we never really approached that. So we wanted to talk about was my wife who was the master. And she started the program, the first religious ad office in the parish was in our house, and the church phone rang and and she was there until we built buildings. And then father Seamus built her an office on campus, which is the youth ministry office today. That was her oh really started when first buildings were and we moved the office out of our house to the church. Thanks be to God. But then we started a homeless ministry and the homeless ministry moved in into that office in our home, and the homeless phone number rang in our house. The difference was her calls used to end about nine at night. Oh nine would go on all night. Three in the morning. But anyway, yeah, the parish really, the first office is for the first office of the parish was in our house and then fathers showing this grudge. Wow. That's, that's amazing. One of the things that Jodi and I worked on through the DACA information, and that is involving our children, or not involving our children with the obstacles, we had to go around or go through our challenges we have with our own children through what God was calling us to do. Can you guys share us? Maybe some of the challenges you had? And then what how did you overcome these challenges with the boys? They were pretty young. They were young. Yeah, they were young. And you know, the other thing was hard being being trained in Los Angeles, they encourage the wives to be there. And she came a couple of times, but one of the times and we get a babysitter, one of the times our kids were playing and and our one son cut our other son's head open, the babysitter panicked. And luckily, she knew there was a nurse across the street, she ran over and got her. We got home, there was this whole disaster. And Sheila said, I'm not going I can't do this anymore. I can't leave every every couple of days and go to LA. I need this week. Yeah, once. Anyway, so that that was a challenge. Just being trained in LA was a challenge for the wife and kids. But we did have we did that spiritual formation. We were trained our classes were in LA, but our formation or weekend formation was in the Sisters of St. Joseph in orange. Oh, and they had a program for the kids so the kids would go on Sunday. They went to those sisters. They enjoyed that. The kids enjoyed that. Yeah. Yeah. And I think the boys were pretty acceptable. Yeah. Have they got teenagers? Oh, yeah. They got teenage Oh, share that with? How was that? Great. Are you okay with your dad being a deacon? Yeah, it's okay, Dad. You know, it wasn't like, we're so happy or? Oh, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. I do know one time my one son said that when he walks up the group of kids and they're talking and he walks out. What are you talking about? Nothing. They quit talking about whatever they were talking about. Because I always think the kids at least went to the parish knew that his dad was a deacon. And they were really afraid that he was going to rat on him, which he would never do. But, you know, there was always that fear. Not so much of our boys, but their debt. And they were very cautious around our boys. Yeah, we heard that. One time when our youngest son was in confirmation. I think it was going through confirmation or going through salt. And somebody said, Well, your dad's a deacon. So you need to do the prayer. And we're like, we'll stop this one right now. You know, and so, yeah, they, the kids do take on a little bit of the weight of dads being a deacon, you know, and it's not what they're called to do. Right. But it's what the community believes. You know, that's one of the hardest things with our kids. Yeah, I think for Sonic Canyon, then that really, that was hard. It was hard. I mean, he didn't want to go to survive, because he had been at the seminary with no girl wanted to go to college. Didn't want to go to modern day and I feel really bad day when the winter. Yeah, the problem is he was signed up a went one year to high school Seminary. He was enrolled for the second year and just before classes started, he said I'm not going yeah. And by then Monterey was well, they were starting classes. And he just couldn't get in. So that was I felt bad about that. Yeah. So whatever. Yeah, that's what it was. But they turned up right now. Yes. So involved. He's beautiful for Catholic zealot. Oh, Houston. He is so involved in Yes. Really? That is beautiful. It's beautiful to see, you know, because we all have challenges in our faith one way or another. And to see that those seeds you planted back then how they may have been dormant for a little while, but then they grow time. Yeah. So to see that. It's beautiful. God works in everything yet. And everything and I love when you were sharing with the men's group that we started, TMI. Why? Yeah. How I believe it was him that went and got a donut and saw a guy with the shirt on it said to my wife. He said, what is that? Yeah. And the guy said it's a Catholic men's group. Why don't you come so this was in Houston and the woodland It's in Texas. And yeah, so yeah, it was getting a doughnut and it was the guy that shirt on. And he recognized them from their parish asking what it was all about. They invited him to come, he started going, and then he called me dad. There's this awesome program, that man is you you got to look into and I'm gonna send you all the information. And I'm gonna send you the link to parodies is that yeah, look into it. You need that at saddle Simon phony. That's really how it got started. Yeah, yeah. And about eight and a half years ago is when you started our parish, which is still growing today. It's amazing. So one of the things that we love about you guys, is as you're doing all this work, and parish work is that you guys are always joyful and smiling and all that. How do you maintain that joy, the love of God and the joy as you're doing everything that you deal with our parish and with people? I think Doug for one thing is really always calm, happy guy. I'm probably not so much. But anyway, but I do. I really love what we're doing, especially our CIA. I love man. I'm involved also in the San Antonio women. I've been a president two times of the group. And Phil, it's very fulfilling. I mean, I I feel even though we go back and forth now to Arizona, I've still feels I want to stay here. San Antonio is our parish, San Antonio is our family. All my really close friends are here at Santa. Yeah, family. And for me, Chris Hill, being involved in Curzio. Back when we made it in San Diego, involved in San Diego, then we left Chris Hill for over 20 years. But left one DIAC in information started couldn't do both right. It was such a big commitment to Dakine it left her SEO and just never got back to Curtis sale until there was a need for the RE needed some help. He was losing his two deacons and, and I called him one day and said Father Ray Do you need some help? And I got back helping father Ray and then just because God has a great sense of humor, I ended up being spiritual director for the current CEO now for 16 over 16 and a half years so I think being involved in in currency oh and and diaconal ministry. It just keeps me happy. But I'm I'm is a kid I was a happy kid. You know, people say why are you so happy? I always say it's a flaw in my personality. But I yeah, I'm I'm just happy person. And I am pretty easygoing and calm. Yeah. Especially now that the kids left home. Well, now there's grandkids and great grandchildren in the life. There's so much fun. I love my grandkids. Yeah. And I think is really important. You know, especially for the listeners to kind of hear because through these conversations i i noticed where it just started with a small Yes. All these things you do did was starting with a small Yes. Or just one step that then be cut through that. Yes. came another? Yes to say two and another. Yes. So you didn't become a deacon overnight, you didn't become a master catechist. overnight. It was done in baby steps. And so that I think is so important in this story that they're sharing is that it didn't, and not this big thing all of a sudden you said yes to because I think I know for myself, if I knew what was going to be happening, I probably wouldn't have said yes. You start with what you can do in that moment and where you're at that day, just like in Grisay you bloom where you're planted, right? God puts you in this specific place at this specific time for this specific reason. We don't need to think about where it's going to go. Or the obstacles is it you just say just trust in saying that? Well, first? Yes. Like Sheila was sharing. You just say yes to that one thing. And then it just grows from there. I think that's beautiful. And Sheila says there's one word I do not have in my vocabulary. And that's the word no. Say Yes, way too much. Yeah. And God takes care of the rest. Yeah, he provides in here. You've been in the jacket, didn't know what it was. We didn't really have it in the Diocese of orange. First master catechist God, just once you said yes, he just gave everything for you to fulfill that. So the joy to have starting a new parish from scratch that had to be excited was just so much fun. Meeting El Rancho junior high school. We did everything and set up. A parishioner built the altar. So we'd set up everything and we were at the first five masses in the parishes history, doing different things. Yeah, one mass. I liked it one mass size Eucharistic minister, one mass. I was not sure. But we set it up and tore it down and sign up. And it was that was fine. It's, you know, yeah, it's what we did. And just having, watching her have the team meetings in our living room and the office in our, we have a roof over our garage. And it was just, it was fun. I came home from work, and I hear this Kitchen Kitchen Kitchen. And the old and the old man made. copies for the glasses. Yeah. And then she would put everything together and then deliver it because we did class in the home deliver it to so much fun. We had our first classes were always in people's homes, because we didn't have a bill. So I was a person that liked to do crafts and drawings and stuff. And so back then the books were not that nice as they are out with a lot of stuff. They just had printed words for the teacher to learn to tell the lesson. But no crafts, no visual aids. So I started writing lesson plans for all the grade levels, and drew drawings and made crafts and everything for all the grades one through six. And then I had him in binders and and gave him out and like Doug said, in our home, we had plastic bins, and I would load up on Sunday night all the storybooks, crafts, visual aids in a plastic bin and Pat All the teachers who pick them up grades one through six at my house on Sunday night. And then they pick the Monday teacher would pass on to Tuesday spouse on Wednesdays, and bring them back to my house to fill again three on Sunday. Wow. That's how we did our lesson. Wow, that's amazing. So we further as we get close to wrapping this up, we have a large audience out there that are going to hear your story in hear what you've shared with us. For those out there that are looking for God's calling, or to hear God's calling. Can you guys share with them? Some may words of wisdom that um, you guys can share with our audience? Well, I would say that if they're not involved in any renewal movement in the church, or any group, they should consider doing that. Obviously, I'm spiritual director crucio. So I pushed her sail. But there's a lot of other things. TMI, why is wonderful. I think groups like wings for women there. There's things that you're doing God, they need to get involved in something. Because by being involved, they're going to draw closer to Christ. And once they start once you start drawing closer to Christ, then he's going to nudge you where he wants you to be based on your gifts and your talents. And so I but I think I think you have to take that step you have to be involved, being like Sheila said San Antonio's family that that's how we got involved, that's family and being in fellowship with other like minded Catholic men and women, it's very, very important. Also, I think the main thing I would say is that get involved with your children at the grade level or level they are, you know, journey with them and their level, and their grade, and so on and get involved. And it's beautiful, beautiful. As we wrap up this week's program, with Deacon Doug and Sheila Cook, we are reminded that all of us are being called to serve our community as God has called us. So let us close with a prayer in the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit. Amen. Here Lord, we ask you to send down your Holy Spirit on us here today and also on the ones that are listening to the program. That as we are called, to the things God wants us to do that we're open to saying yes to God, whether it's a little thing or a big thing that we are open in here your prayers and do what God Africa do. In his name, we pray, Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen. We are Deacon rested. Jody Mills, Pa with spirit filled radio, calm to serve program, wishing you a blessed day, and pray that you hear God's calling to serve others. Amen.

announcement: 29:49

And that's a wrap for this edition of call to serve on spirit filled radio. I hope and trust this program has been a blessing to you. For more information, please come visit us at Spirit filled media.org That's spirit filled media.org. Until next time, have a blessed day as you serve the Lord and your neighbor. You're listening to the spirit filled Radio Network touching the world for God