TRUTH is the only way

“I just want to lose weight.” That’s not a reason. 

That’s a deflection. 

In this episode, we break down why people stay stuck, not because they lack discipline, but because they haven’t gotten raw enough with themselves about how much pain they’re actually in. 

The confidence they’ve lost. The person they know they’re capable of being. Until that conversation gets real, nothing changes.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Yo yo guys, what is going on? It's your boy GB, man. I appreciate you for rocking with me. Another week on Becoming the Vision, where we talk about becoming the person that you need to be in order to have the life that you so desire. If this is your first time rocking with me, welcome. You may hear that I'm in my car. Um, this is my attempt to put out more podcast episodes just because it is really hard for me to do in the studio because I have a lot of stuff going on. And then so, um, yeah, this is the best time for me to think and to get out like some of my most important thoughts. And so um, this podcast, if this is your first time again, is designed for us to dive deeper into the thought process and the behavioral change that you need in order to elicit the outcome that you want, which is a better body. Um, for my guys, you want abs, you want to lower percent body fat. Um, for my ladies, you want abs, you want a lower percent body fat. You essentially want to um look out and look at yourself and be like, fuck, I'm fucking proud of myself because I'm executing at this level. I I told myself I was gonna do something and I stuck to it. And the reason that you're not sticking to it is because you are not yet the person that you need to be. What I mean, guys, is that if it were just about hey, eat carrots and fucking work out more, you already know that. That's not rocket science. You have a supercomputer in your pocket to where you can Google any workout that you can ever think of, you can Google any nutritional plan, it will map it out exactly how you need it, and your ass still doesn't do it. Not consistently, at least, right? And so you have to stop and ask yourself, why are you not doing that? And guys, I've been coaching people over the past 20 plus years. This includes special forces, operators, doctors, lawyers, professional athletes, everybody in between, some high-level fucking people. And any person that I've ever coached, there's only two things that drives them. It is either you desire to get away from a pain, or you're locked into the outcome that you want. There's a desire that you want so badly that you're willing to do anything that you need to do to obtain it. And then so you have pain and you have vision, those are the two sides. Now, people generally are really fucking horrible at like articulating their vision. Like, why do you want this thing? Because it's going to make well, I want to make more money. And like, okay, how much more money do you want to make? Because if I just gave you 10 extra dollars, you're not gonna be happy. So, what is that exact number? Um, if you had a better body, like what gets better in your life at that point? Like, why do you want abs? Why do you want 10% body fat? What's going on? Most people suck at articulating a vision, but a very powerful motivator, at least initially, is pain. You look at yourself in the mirror and you're fucking disgusted at what you see because you're crushing it in every every every other area of your life. You look up and you're like, damn, like I'm making the money, I have the cars, my wife has the purses, or if you're a go-getter as a female, like you have the business, you have the money, you're buying the shit that you want, you're traveling the world, all this shit is going great, but you cannot seem to put the same amount of discipline, quote unquote, into your body to look and feel how you want, and you get frustrated, and you can't understand why you're so disciplined in this area over here, but you suck in this one. And the thing that I try to share with everybody is I try to help you to understand that you have to really tie into why you want the thing. What I mean is most people are not raw enough with how they feel about a certain situation. If you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, it is really hard for people to say, man, I'm fucking disgusted at myself for allowing myself to get to this point. How could I? This is I am not this is not me. How could I get like this? Instead, what people do is they go, Oh, you know, I'm a little bit older. This is what guys say. Oh, I'm a little bit older, you know. I don't need to, you know, have abs and and uh, you know, my body fat be that low. I, you know, I don't really need all that G. And then women will be like, Well, you know, it's you know, I I'm not all that bad, you know. I have confidence, I I feel beautiful the way that I look and I feel. And I'm like, all of that's bullshit because that is the number one thing that's keeping you from obtaining the goal that you want. I'll illustrate it with a story. I was talking to a client, and actually I have quite a few uh conversations like this throughout the week. Um, I was talking to a client who was struggling to input their information, their food, so that we can track it. And I was like, okay, cool, why did you even bother to come here? Like, why are you at the gym? And they were like, Well, you know, I'm gonna lose weight. And I'm like, okay, well, why though? What does that matter? And they're like, Well, you know, I just I don't know. And I'm like, okay, cool. How how would you say your confidence is right now? I mean, well, it's they told me it's so-so, and I was like, okay, fuck that. What does so-so mean? Why do people like abbreviate? Like, what do you actually feel about yourself? And people do this or they try to like push down how they really feel, really feel about how they look, because it's like their ego is in the way. They can't just say, I look like shit, and I embarrassed, I am embarrassed the way that I look and feel right now, and I'm better than this because it makes you feel bad, right? And then so I was like, Okay, cool. Well, so so what does that mean? And they were like, Well, you know, sometimes I have confidence, sometimes I don't. And I'm like, okay, most of the time, how do you feel? They're like, Well, I don't always really feel all that good. And I'm like, Okay, cool. Has this happened recently? Give me an example, and they were like, Well, they went out with you know a loved one, um, you know, earlier in the week, and they had on this outfit, and the outfit um didn't flatter them. Their stomach was like showing, and they were so completely self-conscious the whole time to where they really couldn't enjoy being out, right? And they're like, Oh, everybody's looking at me, how could I wear this? And I was like, How did that make you feel? And the person said it made me feel small, and I was like, That's what it is, right? You have to hold on to that feeling of I was fucking embarrassed that I let myself go like this, and I will do whatever the fuck I need to do to not feel this feeling anymore. People will move for pain because like you, but you have to acknowledge the pain. Most people never acknowledge how they really fucking feel about something because you don't want to say that I look and feel like shit, you don't want to say I'm not making the money that I want to make because I'm being fucking lazy. You don't want to say like you don't want to say those things because it's a direct hit to your ego, and most people aren't willing to do that, and this is why if you have stayed stuck in the same situation that you've been in, whether it's physically, whether it's financially, whether it's relationship-wise, you are staying there because you haven't not acknowledged the pain that you're actually in, you numb it down, or you try to act like it's not that big of a fucking deal, or you haven't articulated where the fuck you're trying to go, and then so you half-ass do things. The other side of this is that if you don't have a clear understanding of why you're doing the thing, meaning when I obtain this goal, whether it's more money, whether it's a better body, what gets better for me, what what merit does this add to my life, right? You will forever struggle, you'll sometimes get close and then you'll fall off. This is for all the people that have lost 10 to 15 to 20 pounds and you gain back 30. And the reason that you do that is because you haven't really locked into what the fuck I'm doing this for. And until you do that, until you say, you know what, as a man, like I'm 40 something years old, and my kids look at me, and I'm not a fucking superhero to them. I am fat. I show them what laziness is. I preach all day about discipline, and you gotta want it. But you're the the fat dad in the stance that's the stands that's telling them to work hard, and it's clearly visible you're not following your own word. That's fucking crazy. But you have to say that out loud that, like, damn, I'm not setting a good example for my son and my daughter. I'm showing them I am the epitome of what excuses look like. I am the epitome of what laziness looks like. And you know, actually, laziness is is hard because a lot of people that I do talk to, you are actually going to the gym, but you're doing a lot of random shit and you're not really getting there, right? And so you still are an example of what like half-assing something looks like, right? And the more you tie into, man, I want to actually be a hero for my sons, I want to actually turn on the lights when I have sex with my partner. I'm sick of being embarrassed. I want them to look at me and I want them to lust after me, I want them to want me again, but they don't want me because I look bad and I know that I look bad, but I try to convince or get them to say, Well, I don't look all that bad, right? And so you have to tie into what is this vision? If you're not careful, guys, um, one of my favorite quotes is the pain pushes until the vision pulls. This is understanding how you have to use what's at your disposal, right? I told you there are two reasons that people move either pain or you have a very strong attachment to the vision where you're going. Um, to illustrate this example, is we always hear the stories of you know, the athlete um they were with a single parent and they had 10 siblings and they all lived in one bedroom, right? And the um they talk about the pain of like not always having food and being embarrassed about the clothes that they were wearing, and they told their parent at that time they're like, Mom, dad, you know, like you're never gonna have to want for anything. I'm gonna become a professional athlete and I'm gonna get us out of this mess, right? And they worked their ass off in high school, and they're the hardest worker in the room. They work their ass off to get to college and they make it to college, you know, land that D1 scholarship, and they're like, you know what, I'm gonna go pro, like, and there's this fire that's burning in them to make it, right? But the problem is that they we hear it all the time. They get to the professional level and they bust their ass their first two years and they land this first major contract, multi-million dollars, highest paid ever, right? And typically what happens to their play is they fall the fuck off the face of the earth, and everybody goes, see, this is why you shouldn't pay these big athletes all that money. But the contrary to that, or the other side of that, is you have some athletes that land these big contracts, and it's like their play elevates. What is the difference? So remember when I said that you have to the pain will push you into the vision pools. You have to be able to switch in between. And the the athlete that was living with his parents in the single bedroom home and they struggled to eat and like all this pain, all they wanted was money to solve the pain of never having again. The fear of never having enough money to eat or pay bills or the lights going off. And so when they land this big contract, their motivation instantly disappears because you solved the pain. This is what causes people, especially in fitness, to struggle. Because you look at yourself in the mirror, you hate that you're like, How the fuck did I gain 40-50 pounds? I don't even recognize myself in pictures, I don't recognize myself in the mirror. Who has this person become? So let's say that you're 250 pounds and you drop down to 240, 235. Well, you're not in as much pain as you were when you were 250 pounds. And it's so your behaviors fall off. You stop tracking your food, you stop going to the gym as consistently because you feel like you have room to make errors, and so you're not locked in as much. And it's the same thing as this athlete. Once you solve for the pain, if you don't immediately switch over to the vision, on what do I want, like what am I trying to obtain? Somebody that switches over to the vision is anybody that has the money and that has the championships and just keeps fucking going, like Jordan, Kobe, Tom Brady, LeBron James. We're like, that's greatness. You can't solve for greatness, which is their vision. Their vision was never to just make millions of dollars. That was part of it. But these type of people are always seeking excellence because you can't solve for excellence. I always tell people you have it's okay to start with pain. You can start with pain, but you have to switch over to like what am I chasing? Am I chasing the greatest version of myself? If I have a better body, is this gonna help me be a better husband, a better wife, a better mother, a better father? Is it gonna help me make more money? Am I going to be able to live the life that I want? Because now I have the fucking confidence to walk into any room and to make any deal and to become anybody that I want. Because I have never seen anybody drop 30, 40, 50 pounds and not come become a completely new person. Like, because I teach people how to go from pain to vision. You have to. You have to switch, right? Pain will only sustain you for so long because once you solve it, if you don't figure out where the fuck you're going, you're gonna forever be lost. Okay, and then so what I want you guys to take out of this is that I actually want you to sit down and I want you to sit in silence, don't be on your phone, don't be listening to music. Just sit down and write out why the fuck do I want to change? What is going on in my life? When the if I look in the mirror at myself, how do I really feel about myself? Not a sugar-coated version, it's like raw. Do I feel lazy? Do I feel sloppy? Am I frustrated that like I'm going into May again? And I told myself I was gonna change last year, and so you wear a fucking t-shirt at the pool. Or my ladies, you want to be in the two-piece bikini, but you can't because you're too fat. And there is no way that you would ever wear something like that because you're so fucking embarrassed about how you look and you feel. Like, you need to be raw with yourself, and if you get raw enough, it will drive you. You'll you have a choice between some fucking pizza one day or fucking eating what you're supposed to, and I guarantee you, anytime if that if it's just like if that person were to disappear, the example that I gave you earlier, if you don't execute on these things, a loved one would disappear. There's no way that you would not execute on measuring your food and hitting the gym, if those were the stipulations, because the outcome that you want of this person wanting to stay alive is so powerful, it's gonna you're not even gonna struggle to skip eating fucking pizza. And I'm not saying you can't have pizza, I'm just using it as an example, right? If you get so tied into the pain on like what is going to happen if I eat this shit and I don't stick to my word, what is going to happen to me? Where do I really see myself in six months, twelve months? And am I okay with that, right? And then as you're going along this journey, it's important for you to the other side of it is to sit down and write out the person that you desire to be. What is having a better body actually do for you? Does it give you more confidence? Does it give you more energy? Does it give you more uh does it clear up your brain fog so you can execute at a higher level more energy to be with your children and your wife so that you're not walking home at the end of the day and you're just giving them scraps? What what does it do? And the more you tie into that, guys, I promise you, it will help drive you to where now eating right and training becomes effortless. Now it's just because it's who you are, it's what you do, and you can't go back to this other person. But if you don't first understand and be raw about the pain, and you don't also understand where you're trying to go, you will forever go up and down, up and down, losing 15, gaining 20, losing 15, gaining 30. This is what most people do. If you really want to change, this is exactly how you do it. And so, guys, uh, as always, I appreciate you guys for rocking with me. Um, if you are interested in uh coaching, you have to apply. It is not just hey, I want to be coach, and like where do I sign up? It is not like that. Um as you see, I'm pretty uh straightforward coaching. So if you are interested, go to my IG, there's a link there to apply for our programs. Um, go ahead and fill out the information. If it's a good fit, we'll go ahead and schedule a time where we can speak, make sure that we're a good fit on the phone. And before you do that, guys, please understand that it is a significant financial investment. If you want to be the best version of yourself, you first have to feel worthy of spending money on yourself. Um, $10-15 gym memberships obviously haven't worked for you, right? And so if you're willing to invest in yourself and you feel that you're worthy of it and that we match on the program, um I'd love to help you. And uh, other than that, guys, I hope you have an awesome ass fucking week. And uh yeah, listen to this screenshot it, share with somebody that you feel I can use the word. Other than that, guys, peace.