Brian has been involved in media and media blasting for nearly 90 years if you include shouting over the fence as broadcasting.

His mother was heavily involved in the IRA and Girl Guides and his father was a German Shepard, tending to his flock with compassion and a sharp stick.

This family environment fostered a sense of well-being, confidence and overconfidence in Brian and soon it was apparent to all his teachers, neighbours and a very curious priest; that Brian was destined for mediocrity and head injuries.

The rest they say, is misery.

This Brian has been a Herring ever since his pregnant mother was swept overboard at sea and washed up in a drainage ditch beside the chemist. 

Over the course of the next mental breakdown, Brian knew if he was to make sense of this extraordinary start to life he would have to journey to the ends of the street to make a name for himself. That name was soon to be etched in the desktops of the primary school he then burnt down to hide the evidence.

Voted by his classmates to be "the most likely to eaten by dingoes", Brian has gone on to achieve the type of mediocrity that only another Brian could appreciate.

Barry is fucking hopeless at everything he does, but he works cheap, lives under the back steps of Siamese Herring Central and we promised his mum we would look after him. Truly the dumbest decision the Brians have ever made.

Bevan is fucked too.