Dames & Dragons 08. Festival of Lights (Part 8)

The waterfall cave presents more challenges than expected, Fran finds an unwelcome clue, and protecting the Goddess gets more confusing than ever. Also, the cast perpetually forgets whether they're dealing in Kaitlins or feet.

✂️ Arc 1 Outtakes & Extras ✂️ 

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Transcript

Dames and Dragons

DUNGEON MASTER/NPCs: Kat

FRAN THE WATER GENASI WIZARD is played by Noel

LAIKA THE TIEFLING PALADIN is played by Sophia

CORBIN THE HUMAN DRUID is played by Kaitlin

Dames and Dragons Transcript Episode 8 – Festival of Lights (Part 8)

Kat: You guys may notice something, dear listeners, and that is that we sound…

Noel: Different?

Kat: We sound different?

Sophia: [in Laika's voice] Fresh, close. 

Kaitlin: Sensual, smoky.

Sophia: Cedar.

Kat: Anyway...

Kaitlin: Cedar?!

Sophia: Cigar.

Kat: Sophia those aren't sounds.

Sophia: Suffering. [laughter]

Noel: [hissing] Sandalwood.

Kat: Guys, we're a podcast, not a scented candle.

Kaitlin: Or an ASMR video.

Kat: Please, stop.

Sophia: Cinnamon.

Kat: We're never gonna do ASMR.

Sophia: Spicy.

Kat: You're doing it right now, but I hate it. God.

Sophia: Salty.

Kat: Anyway, thanks Noel's sister  for this sweet uhhh new setup of sound equipment.

Noel: Angel, I love you so much, thank you, I hope you're not listening to this, but if you are, welcome! And welcome to, uhh, my personality. [all laugh]

Kaitlin: For the first time? Oh wow.

Kat: Okay, well let's play some D&D you guys, let's do it.

[Guardians Theme (festival of lights) plays]

Kat: Okay so, last time, you guys did some more investigating. You went to Allia's room and found she was not there and her room had been ransacked. You then went to try to find the Goddess and she was not there and you tore apart her bathroom in the process and froze a servant to the floor.

Noel: Well, at that point we had been rejected twice and we were very tender.

Kat: I don't know that that's an excuse, but okay! Then you went off and had an awkward family meeting with the different animal clans. Fran -

Noel: Strike three, strike three.

Kat: Fran was a ‘lil shit.  They told you to check out the spot where the mad creature that had once housed the scavenger god Vioni jumped off and maybe see where it went. You saw a cave under a waterfall, and [singing] here we are!

Noel: [singing] Here we are by the cave!

Kat: Hi, I'm Kat, I'm your DM.

Noel: Hi, I'm Noel, I'm in high definition, and I play a character. [laughs] and ummm.

Kat: Did you forget your character name?

Noel: I know her name, I just don't want to say it.

Kaitlin: I'm Kaitlin and I did not forget my character name, and his name is Corbin. He's a druid, and he's level 4.

Noel: He is in High School Musical.

Kaitlin: He is not in High School Musical.

Noel: He looks just like Corbin Bleu.

Kaitlin: He does not look just like Corbin Bleu

Sophia: Hi, my name is Sophia, I play Laika, and I am a level 4 Tiefling paladin.

Kat: Okay. So, you guys are standing at the edge of a waterfall looking at a cave that is hidden behind the waterfall. In front of you there is sky. How are you gonna get into the cave?

Noel: Hold on, when we look down, what do we see?

Kat: You see, it's just clouds under you. [Noel makes sounds of affirmation] When you look under you that's when you look straight down off of Estra that's usually all you can see, because of the cloud cover that keeps it hidden from the world below

Noel: Soooo we need a way to get down into that cave. About how far down is it?

Kat: Mmm, about, I'm trying to think about distance in terms of when I'm driving and my GPS tells me how many feet there are.

Kaitlin: [GPS voice] Turn right in 1,000 feet.

Kat: No.

Noel: Kaitlin is five feet tall, how many Kaitlins do you think it is?

Kaitlin: Yeah, how many of me could fit down there?

Kat: I'd say like... ten Kaitlins.

Noel: Alright, so about 50 feet?

Kaitlin: Cool cool cool.

Kat: It's about fifty feet down.

Sophia: Man, it is hard to picture ten Kaitlins.

Kaitlin: I hate every single person sitting at this table, including myself.

Kat: So how are you guys gonna get fifty Kaitlins down and through a waterfall?

Noel: Okay, so, for Spider Climb you have to cast it on all of us, right?

Kaitlin: Or I could just pick the strongest one of us and then they could carry the other one and I could turn into a bird and fly down myself

Noel: Okay.

Kaitlin: I'm just a genius, I'm sorry you guys.

Noel: I'm only a genius.

Sophia: Well as long as you apologize, then I think it's okay.

Corbin: I'm deeply sorry for being a genius.

Kat: Okay, because I love you guys, I am going to warn you that if Laika is gonna climb down there, even with Spider Climb, if you fail those strength checks, you will fall  off the island and die.

Sophia: Well every adventurers kit has rope in it, so I'm saying we tie ropes to everything, it’s just a rope net.

Kat: Okay.

Noel: Well, I immediately climb onto Laika's back and start tying myself on, every which way, like a backpack.

Sophia: I'm not even prepared for this so I feel like I'm being attacked and I just like struggle against the ropes.

Noel: You know what? It's too bad because I'm tying myself on, like one of those nerdy backpacks with all the buckles.

Sophia: Oh man, I look like a dork. I'm jangling.

Kat: And what-what do you guys do?

Sophia: Um, is there like a  large rock nearby I can...?

Kat: Mmmm, sure.

Sophia: Okay, so I'm gonna tie myself onto a heavy rock.

Kat: I'll just have you roll a straight d20.

Sophia: Okay. To see if I tie it well?

Kat: Yeah, see if you tie it well.

Sophia: Oooh, that's a 10, can I add something to that?

Kat: No, just take it, it'll be fine.

Sophia: I test it, like -

Kat: Yeah, the rock does not move, it is a very firmly planted rock.

Sophia: Okay, let's do this.

Noel: First, is Kaitlin going to do Spider Climb?

Kaitlin: I think I'm just gonna tie a rope also. I mean, if these fools can do it, I mean, I know, how hard can it be?

Noel: You are still a crow.

Kaitlin: Fuck, I just fly down, fuck you guys, bye!

Sophia: Wait! Weren't you gonna cast Spider Climb?

Kaitlin: No, not that I'm a crow, I can fly!

Sophia: No, me!? How am I gonna get down!?

Kaitlin: You got a rope around you!

Sophia: Oh fine, alright. This is a hot mess.

Kat: Okay so, to do this, I'm gonna have you make...

Sophia: Athletics check?

Kat: Yeah, and I'm gonna have you make, we'll say, three.

Sophia: Hold up, three checks?

Noel: Yeah, ‘cuz Corbin abandoned us!

Sophia: Corbin what the hell, give me Spider Climb!

Kaitlin: I'm still here I'm like flying.

Kat: No, Corbin, you're off, you, you already departed, you have no more part in this.

Sophia: Laika whispers,

Laika: Fuck you, Corbin.

Noel: Fran laughs.

[funky suspenseful music begins]

Kat: So. Your first one is just to make it over the edge of the cliff safely without falling. Let's see if you do it.

Sophia: That's ten plus five, so that's 15.

Kat: Yeah, you do it. So next one is to climb down the solid cliff face.

Noel: Can I do perception checks while she's doing this?

Kat: Yeah! Yeah.

Noel: To see if there's anything to like... do.

Sophia: Good call.

Noel: I got an 11 on perception, should I just look around?

Kat: Okay. Um then, Sophie I'm gonna have you take advantage.

Sophia: Oh, awesome!

Kat: Yeah.

Sophia: Thanks! [roll] The first one's a seven, [rolls again] next one's also a seven, so that's plus five again.

Kat: Twelve.

Sophia: Math.

Kat: So you are climbing down this cliff face and just as you grab a rock, Fran says "Wait, that's not stable!" and your hand falls back but you have enough warning that you're able to recover pretty quickly and grab back onto the cliff face.

Noel: [smugly] Backseat climbing, works every time.

Kat: Now it's gonna get tricky because now you have to navigate the wet rocks under the waterfall to get to the cave without your rope being completely torn off by the torrential downpour of water.

Noel: I'm gonna do another perception check, just to see if there's a way in that's a little bit better? [rolls] Safer?

Kat: Yep.

Noel: And I got a twelve.

Kat: So with a twelve... yeah, go ahead and take advantage.

Sophia: Okay. [rolls] Thank you, that was a three, so... Fifteen plus five so twenty!

Kat: Okay, awesome. Yeah! So, your horns are in the way a little bit, but Fran is able to find a slightly drier path and you're able to make it over to the cave and  it does get really difficult and your fingers are starting to slip  because the rocks are slippery and there's tension on the rope because the water is pushing down on it as you cross underneath this waterfall and  your grip, it's slipping, it's slipping, and then you just find that surge of strength. You readjust your grip, you grab on, you make it into the cave.

Noel: [triumphantly] Hoo-hoo!

Kaitlin: Ha-haa!

Kat: Corbin, I'm gonna have you make, oh, let's say a constitution save?

Noel: And I'm inside now and I'm saying:

Fran: Corbin, is there a problem? Is it hard to fly through the water?

Laika: Honestly, Corbin, yeah.

Kaitlin: I got fifteen plus five constitution, so that's twenty.

Kat: Okay, yeah, you're fine.

Corbin: It wasn't hard! Thank you!

Kat: Okay!  Welcome to your second dungeon, exciting!  So as soon as you guys enter the cave, you can see all the way down this long corridor, down to a very large set of double doors. And just a moment later you see far down the hallway, just in front of those doors, a metal security door just slam shut. And then you see a second one, a little closer to you, slam shut.

Noel: Ohh.

Kat: And you see a third one, closer to you, it slams shut.

Noel: Are we stuck between two things maybe?

Kat: Nope, you're stuck between the waterfall and the first security door.  And these security doors are basically, they're huge slabs of metal -

Noel: Okay.

Kat: - That have just come out of the cave ceiling. And then, Laika, you're wearing metal armor, right?

Sophia: Yes.

Kat: Okay. Are any of the rest of you wearing any metal?

Noel: Hmm, I have a knife.

Kat: Laika, you are pulled violently to the floor because the floor is a giant magnet.

Noel: [Disappointed] Ohhhh. All of a sudden?

Kat: Yep. Just as  soon as that last security door slammed shut the floor became a magnet.

Laika: [shuddering] Guh.

Kat: So, Fran, your knife clatters to the ground and Corbin... you're still a crow, so you're fine I guess.

Kaitlin: Cool.

Kat: Laika, you are going to be taking negative two to all of your rolls, you're gonna have to work real hard to get up off of this floor and do anything in your armor.

Sophia: Should I take off my armor?

Noel: Yes! I mean -

Sophia: Well...

Kaitlin: Then you'll die. [laughter and overlapping talking]

Noel: You're not gonna die.

Kat: The second she take it off.

Sophia: What if I can't get it back though? [quietly] I'd have to get new armor...

Noel: Hmmm...

Kaitlin: Well I mean if you can  -

Noel: Alright, let's do perception checks, let's look around, see what there is to see.

Kaitlin: Yeah yeah yeah.

Sophia: I'm also going to do a perception check from the ground, cuz I'm gonna see what's on the floor. 

Kaitlin: I got a ten.

Kat: Okay.

Noel: I got an eleven.

Sophia: Thirteen.

Kat: I see. So, you guys are looking all around and Laika, as you are pinned to the floor by your armor and by this giant magnet, you can look up and see three handprints on the ceiling.

Noel: Dangit.

Laika: Hey you guys, there's some weird art on the ceiling it's kinda cool looking!

Fran: Art?  More like fart. [laughing]

Noel: I don't look.

Kaitlin: I look at it. Do I just? I see it.

Sophia: No comment?

Kaitlin: I see it. I see it.

Noel: Like how high is the ceiling? How far are we if we reach up our hands to try to touch them?

Kat: It's about forty Kaitlins tall.

Kaitlin: Okay.

Noel: God damnit.

Sophia: [whispers] Spider Climb

Kaitlin: It's not a bad idea...

Noel: We probably need at least - yeah, Spider Climb is not a bad idea, and it wasn't a bad idea before either, when you  didn't cast it.

Kaitlin: [laughing] But you guys seemed like you didn't want to do it!

Sophia: No, we did want to!

Noel: Oh, we wanted to do it, that was the whole plan.

Kaitlin: But Kat was like, "If you die, you're dead."

Noel: Yeah, so that's why we tied the rope.

Kaitlin: [lightbulb above her head turns on] Ohhhhhhh!

Sophia: Where were you?

Kaitlin: I thought you just meant you thought that a rope would be more secure ‘cuz you'd have it, I get it, my bad you guys.

Noel: Oh my god.

Corbin: You guys that was my bad.

Laika: Thank you for honoring that.

Corbin: I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Noel: Fran just looks away.  Does not make eye contact with you. So, yeah, do you wanna cast Spider Climb on... Laika? 

Kaitlin: Sure.

Laika: Finally, my true form!

Kat: Wolf spider!

Noel: Ho ho!

Kaitlin: Ooooh!

Kat: So, uh, Laika, you struggle out of your armor [giggling] you climb all the way up to the switches, what do you do?

Sophia: I want to use Divine Sense.

Kat: Okay.

Sophia: So I just want to see if I get anything off this immediate area and specifically those handprints, if I sense like "Oh!"  Who did them.

Kat: Yeah!  Actually, yes, you sense a very deeply ingrained divine presence, one that you're familiar with. The Goddess has been here and she's been here many times before.  And those handprints, you see, a couple of times she's touched them and you also see something bad has touched them and something bad has been here, and that's recent.

Noel: [nervously] Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mmm.

Sophia: Are her handprints recent?

Kat: Yes.

Noel: [with more intensity] Mmm-mm-mm-mm-mmm!

Sophia: Mondo bummer... [burst of laughter]

Kat: What the fuck?!

Noel: [singing] Buh-buh-bummer!

Kat: [in a surfer dude voice] Let's go catch some gnarly waves, man!

Sophia: Ehh?! Wupah!

[laughter]

Kaitlin: Chka-chkaaa!

[giggles continue]

Kat: God. Okay.

Sophia: I'm dying tonight.

Kat: We're done, moving on.

Noel: Alright, anyway, are you gonna touch it?

Sophia: Alright, I'll touch one that I felt that the Goddess had touched.

Kat: Yeah! You touch that one and... you touch it.  Nothing happens.

Noel: Are they all facing the same way?

Kat: Like, are they all the same...

Noel: Like orientation?

Kat: Yes.

Noel: Okay.

Kat: And they look like they're all the left hand.

Laika: You guys I'm guessing we're all gonna need to get our hands all up in this business.

Noel: Okay...  I don't think Laika's gonna be able to carry us both, right?

Laika: I'm super strong.

Kaitlin: I can -

Noel: I think that would be a really high check. So if we drag Laika's armor over to the door, can we move it up the door?

Kat: Yeah, if you drag over a piece of armor, it will stick to the door. It's the same polarity on both the magnets.

Noel: Okay, and it will support my weight?

Kat: Like not entirely. So you can get a hand up and  then you start to slowly slide down, you know.

Noel: Okay.

Sophia: So you have to go quickly?

Kat: Yes. It's gonna be strength and dex.

Noel: Okay. Kaitlin, you probably are better than me at both of those, I have negative one strength.

Kaitlin: Oh god!

Noel: I mean, it's not gonna make that much of a difference, they're not that different, but...

Kat: Yeah.

Noel: You might as well try.

Kaitlin: Okay! So I guess I reluctantly turn back into a human.

Sophia: So I climb down and - quick question:  because Corbin always thinks he's a crow, like, how does that transformation register in his mind?

Kaitlin: I don't realize it. I just think that I got smaller, like, so okay, like - okay let's get real. [laughter] There's a part of Corbin, deep down, that knows something’s wrong. He's not a crow.  But he's not ready to acknowledge that on like a conscious level, but on a subconscious level he does know. He's aware.

Kat: Okay, okay. So I have a point of clarification.

Kaitlin: Yes.

Kat: Do you create a path of metal, or do you just take two pieces and use them as like suction cups?

Kaitlin: I'm gonna do the suction cups, do you - are your gauntlets metal?

Sophia: Mm-hmm! Yeah, I’ve got like metal gauntlets.

Kaitlin: Okay so I put on the gloves, I put on the shoes, and I crawl up like a little --

Noel: I once again climb onto Laika's back, and I say:

Fran: Corbin, that looks so hard.

Kat: Okay, so Corbin, I'm gonna have you make a... start with a strength check.

Sophia: [whispers] Cool.

Kaitlin: That is a twenty, but not a natural twenty.

Kat: Okay, so you are able to grip and keep yourself upright on this strange suction cup adventure you're on. Now let's see if you are able to move quickly enough to not slide back down!

Kaitlin: That's a fifteen.

Kat: Yeah! Okay. It's not easy. It is not easy.

Noel: At the same time as this, Laika should be carrying me.

Sophia: Oh yeah, we're on it at the same time.

Kat: Here's the thing, these handprints aren't right up against the door on the ceiling, there is about a five-foot gap between the security door and the switches.

Kaitlin: So could I make a strength check to do the awesome pole dancer standing-up being parallel to the ground for once single time.

Kat: Yeah! You definitely can.

Kaitlin:  I don't like the way Kat's saying this!

Sophia: I would try to hold on to -- it's a rock ceiling?

Kat: Yeah.

Kaitlin: Yeah okay I try to do that, I try to grapple my way...

Kat: Okay well you're still gonna make a strength check.

Kaitlin: Yeah, I mean, I figured that. And I try to go over with my hand...

Kat: So what you're trying to do is engage! That! Core! Work! It! Feel the burn! Do that sit-up!

Kaitlin: Kat. Kat. I have never used one muscle in my body, ever in my whole entire life.

Noel: Corbin has though.

Kaitlin: Corbin has.

Kat: Corbin needs to do... a single sit-up.

Kaitlin: Okay, he does one sit-up.

Kat: Oh, he's gonna try. Roll to see if he can do a sit-up.

Noel: Let's go put our hands on there, Laika.

[rolls]

Kaitlin: Uh... [table bursts into laughter]

Noel: That's a crit fail. Corbin cannot do one sit-up.

Kat: Corbin is unable to do a single sit-up.

Kaitlin: That's true to real life.

Kat: Uh, Corbin, you let go to try and grab that rock ceiling and you just bend straight backwards, you bend at the knees and your feet start slowly sliding down the wall.

Sophia: Can we make a dex save to grab her?

Kat: Yeah, sure.

Laika: I gotchu buddy!

Sophia: Twelve?

Kat: No.

Noel: Um. I got a four.

Laika: I don't gotcha.

Corbin: Oh that really helps, thank you, Fran.

Noel: Yeah, I just reach out like really hesitantly and then I'm like "Oh, nope".

Kat: Laika, you reach your hand out to try to grab Corbin's, but you are about, I'd say half-a-Kaitlin shy of being able to reach him

Kaitlin: Well. I guess this is it you guys. We lost D&D, we can't do it.

Noel: Well, let's think.

Sophia: Can I try carrying both of them?

Noel: Maybe, it's not all the way up anymore...

Kat: Yes. You can do that and Laika can make a strength check to carry you.

Sophia: [whispers] Okay… 

Kaitlin: Well, I mean--

Corbin: I'm not getting anywhere with these abs.

Laika: My abs are ripped and shredded!

Noel: I point to Laika's abs.

Sophia: And they're ripped and shredded!

Kat: Are they a taco salad?

Noel: God.

Kaitlin: That was nasty.

Kat: Why is that nasty, taco salads are delicious.

Noel: It was a nasty joke.

Kaitlin: Nasty joke.

Kat: It was a good joke [all laugh]

Sophia: And funnily enough that is true, that's canon, her abs are taco salad.

Kat: Nice.

Sophia: So please be gentle, because they're really not that strong.  

Kat: Yum.

Sophia: Let's give this a shot. So that's an 18 plus - is this a strength check?

Kat: Mmm yeah.

Sophia: Alright so 21.

Noel: Woooaahh!

Kaitlin: Nice!

Kat: So with that 21 you are able to take on Corbin's weight and not totally biff it to the floor as you make it the half-a-Kaitlin-length up and over to the handprints. You guys put your hands onto the switches and voila! The door opens! And the magnet floor deactivates and all the metal falls off the wall. So. Now how y'all gonna get down?

Noel: Is there any kind of think on the ceiling we can hold on to?

Kat: It's an uneven ceiling with, you know, stalactites and texture to it and stuff.

Noel: Aight, so Corbin, let's try to hold onto things as much as we can and take as much of our body weight off of Laika as we go by those things. And I can use a reaction to use Feather Fall if we fall.

Kat: Alright.

[rolls]

Noel: I’ve input about one. Not a natural one, but I have negative one strength so...

Kat: Oh, okay.

Sophia: I'm using this as athletics and it's 19.

Kat: Okay.

Kaitlin: I also got 17 on the "helping Laika"

Noel: I go limp. [laughing]

Kat: Fran is entirely unhelpful, but the two of you manage to combine your strength  and make it down the wall. Ta-da! You got through, the first room!

Sophia: I put back on my armor, obviously.

Kat: Okay.

Noel: I pick up my knife. And I like, put it across my throat and I look at my friends.

Kat: So, Laika, do you stand there and put on your armor or are you like on the go putting on your armor?

Sophia: I'm going really quickly.

Kat: Okay, you're going quickly. Actually, you look up and you see that that door you just opened is, it’s sort of trembling, like it's about to fall back down.

Noel: Okay we grab everything and we run. [crosstalk sounds of agreement]

Kat: We run. Okay cool.

Noel: Should we roll to see how much we get of it, or do we just get everything?

Kat: Yeah! That's a good idea.

Kaitlin: Yeah, that's fair. I got a 18. For whatever check this is.

Sophia: I got a 14.

Noel: I got a 16. So we get it.

Kat: Yeah, you get it, you're good. So Fran and Corbin you are just grabbing things off the floor and you run through and it's as --  Laika, you realize you forgot your belt, your pauldrin... I don't know you forgot something! You run back and grab it and do a sick slide underneath the door just as it's coming down. [noises of admiration]

Sophia: Dope. Worth it.

Noel: Nice. Nice.

Kat: Yeah. So. You guys are in a second chamber and it's dark.  Laika, you are the only one with dark vision, so you are the only one who can see in this room. It is more or less empty, there's another security door in front of you and you all hear a very distinct noise, like a giant security door scraping across a stone floor, as the door that just closed behind you begins to move towards you.

Noel: Yikes.

Kat: I actually did name this trap "Death Star Trash Compactor" [laughter]

Noel: I call my friend C3PO and I ask him to stop all trash on the detention level.

Kat: It doesn't work, it doesn't work. C3PO is off, I don't know.

Noel: Yeah, so I cast Light on my shirt, as usual.

Kat: Yeah, disco shirt.

Noel: It's not flashing this time, because I'm just not feeling very festive, and I do a perception roll, as well as you all should. Please!

Kat: That's a natural 20!

[rolling]

Noel: [singing] I got a natural 20!

Kaitlin: Good, because I got a 2...

Sophia: I got 12.

Noel: Fuck y'all. It's all 2's! Sorry, that's not exciting. But I love it.

Kaitlin: That's something my mom would say, she's always doing that

Noel: Ohhh!

Kat: You're not wrong. Okay. With that natural 20 - fuck you - you see a very well-hidden shallow pit, which is just about, like it is just deep enough and wide enough for 3 people to get in and be underneath the floor.

Fran: Ha-ha you guys! I instantly saw this!

Noel: My adrenaline’s pumping, I have the eyesight of twenty men my size.

Sophia: Twenty average sized men.

Noel: Twenty very short, small men.

Sophia: With average eyesight.

Kat: Okay. What are you, are you guys just standing there making jokes?

Noel: Um, yeah.

Kat: You're getting trash compacted.

Noel: So let's go in that pit. This was well hidden.

Sophia: While we're in the pit, can I put my armor back on?

Kat: You do not have enough room.

Sophia: Okay.

Noel: We're just in there with the armor. [laughter]

Kat: Yeah, I mean it's kinda like, I mean it is --

Noel: Stabbing us all over.

Kat: You do not have much wiggle room, like...

Sophia: For sure.

Kat: Someone much bigger than you guys would probably make this a very tight fit.

Noel: Hm.

Sophia: I am 6 feet tall.

Noel: I put my face really close to Laika and Corbin's faces and I say,

Fran: [breathy, loud whisper] How are you guys?

[silence for a moment]

Corbin: [quiet] I'm not so good at the moment. Thank you.

Laika: This is, uh,  very close.

Noel: I whisper,

Fran: Laika, you smell really good.

Laika: [uncomfortable] Okaaaay!

Corbin: I just smell farts...

Fran: Corbin, why did you do that?

Corbin: It wasn't me!

Laika: Corbin, I know your scent.

Fran: It's those birthday tacos!

Kat: Wow, several days later those birthday tacos are still coming back to haunt you guys.

Corbin: I have a slow metabolism.

Kat: Oh god...

Laika: That's nasty man.

Kat: That is super nasty.

Corbin: I'm sorry!

Laika: Take some Beano.

Kat: Okay. So! You guys are in your pit with your sparkle shirt throwing some light and the two security doors meet right above you guys, and you see there are three handprints on the bottom of the security doors, and just as you see that, they move apart, you have just a split second when these two are together.

Noel: Ohhhh, I see. Okay, alright!

Kat: I'm actually gonna have you all roll just to see how much of that you comprehended.

[rolling]

Noel: I got an 11.

Sophia: 12.

Kaitlin: I got a 22.

Kat: [surprised] Oh shit!

Kaitlin: Yeah.

Kat: Okay.

Laika: [impressed] Corbin! You got this!

Kat:So you guys, as you're trying to sort of organize yourselves in such a way to get your hands up, Laika and Fran, you guys are like " No, we don't - put your hand here - put your hand here!" and Corbin, you just grab both of their hands and you put them like where they're gonna need to be. And then you put your hand in between them.

Noel: I say,

Fran: Don't touch me!

Kat: And you guys have to wait like that for probably a good 60 seconds before those doors come back. And it does get weird and awkward, and Fran and Laika, you are both feeling like "Corbin, why - why are you doing this? This is horrible."

Kaitlin: I dunno!

Sophia: I poke Corbin with my horn.

Corbin: Euughh! Please, trust me!

Kat: Corbin, their trust, or lack thereof, but their patience pays off and the second those doors close your hands are on those handprints. And one of the doors just stops and the other one moves back.

Noel: Oooh, we did it!

Kat: You are able to roll under that second security door and get to  the other side.

Noel: Nice you guys. But first, I slap Corbin on the wrist, I say:

Fran: Do not touch me!

[27:42]

[INTERLUDE] The codeword is: Sword to Saw 

[31:16]

Noel: So we- we get into the next room?

Kat: Mmhm! Yeah, you do it, good job friendos!

Noel: [weird voice] Ooooohhh!

Kaitlin: Was that Fran? I sure hope not.

Noel: Ooooohhh!

Kat: As you get up to the other side and you dust yourselves off and start to look around, it’s also very dark, but now you've got Fran's disco shirt, so you're good. You're able to see. You do notice that the security door behind you is moving forward, but not very fast. So you do have a time limit here. It is still trying to crush you.

Noel: A'ight, so --

Kaitlin: Perception?

Noel: Perception checks.

Kat: Yes.

[waterfall of dice rolls]

Noel: Umm, so, I got a 12.

Sophia: 18?

Kaitlin: 15.

Kat: Okay. It does not take very much perception to see the 8-foot wide spike trap in front of you guys. It is a pit, it is 6-feet deep, and it is full of spikes. It touches both walls of this cave... yeah, that's - it's full of spikes. It looks painful.

Kaitlin: Are the spikes big enough such that like, we could get between them without being harmed, or are they pretty...

Kat: No.

Katilin: Okay.

Kat: They are spikes intent on hurting you.

Kaitlin: Cool.

Sophia: What's behind the spikes?

Kat: Behind the spikes - good question! - is that door you saw at the end of the hallway, the big, ornate door. So there's spikes, a little bit of floor, and then door.

Sophia: So we just need to get over them spikes!

Kat: Yes. You do see as well the three switches on the wall, where you put your hands.

Noel: Where are they?

Kat: Past the spike pit.

Noel: Okay. Figures.

Kaitlin: Yes, that would be too easy.

Sophia: We could try Spider Climb again.

Noel: I have something to throw out there. I don't know if this'll work, so. I'm thinking about using Tenser's Floating Disk, and so "this spell creates a circular horizontal plane of force 3 feet in diameter and 1" thick that floats 3 feet above the ground in an unoccupied space." So basically, like that would depend on if it can float over the spikes, or if it -

Kat: Yes.

Noel: It can?

Kat: Yeah! It can.  Three feet off the ground...

Noel: Mmhm.

Kat: Would just barely clear the spikes.

Noel: Oh, okay.

Kat: You could probably, if you  stood on it, climb out of the pit.  You would be able to reach up and grab.

Noel: And also, I mean it's more risky for me, but if I can get across then if I move farther away and you guys get on the disk, it'll just float towards me.

Kat: Oh, nice, okay! Well do you guys want to try that?

Noel: Sure, let's try it. So I have to try to jump across this? So I'm gonna cast Tenser's Floating Disk, just so it will be kinda in the middle of this pit and  I'm going to jump. Is this...?

Kat: Athletics.

Noel: [sighing] Oh god. Alright, let's go! I got 11.

Kat: Yeah! You could jump - I mean you're jumping like, what, three feet?

Noel: Three feet, it's not that much athletics.

Kat: Yeah, three feet, you can do that.

Noel: And I look like a Disney princess while I do it!

Kat: You do!

Laika: Wow!

Noel: I now need to crawl out of the pit.

Kat: Well you're not crawling out so much as jumping to a slightly higher ledge.

Noel: Alright okay so I jump up to the ledge, is this another athletics?

Kat: Yeah. Just another athletics.

Noel: Okay, so I got 14.

Kat: Awesome! You do it! You jump over the pit, you catch your hands, you grab, and now I'm just gonna have all of you guys make a wisdom saving throw.

Noel: Okay. I got 14.

Kailtin: I got 16.

Sophia: That's 15.

Kat: 15? Oh, oh no. Fran, so you vault yourself, you grab on the edge of the pit, you get up there and then you fall immediately back down because the floor was an illusion and there is an actual spike pit.

Noel: [distraught] Ahhhh!

Kat: And you take...

Noel: All those years of playing Sonic were useless to me.

Kaitlin: So wait, so there was spike pit and then a second -

Kat: Illusion

Kaitlin: - illusioned spike pit.

Kat: Yes.

Kaitlin: [whispers] Cool.

Kat: Okay, so that's gonna be 9.

Noel: So I take 9 damage?

Kat: Yeah, you take 9 damage from falling in a pit of spikes. And now you're in a pit of spikes.

Noel: Alright, am I like, between two spikes? Or am I like, on top of a spike?

Kat: Well, you’re, you’re able to - you didn't like jump into a pit, you just slid down the edge of it, uh, your arm scraped up against a spike, you weren't impaled by anything, but you are sort of awkwardly perched between some spikes and the wall and it’s, you know, not great.

Noel: I say:

Fran: You guys, it was an illusion. [all laugh]

Noel: And then I, uh, start to cry, silently. [awws of sympathy]

Laika: You're really brave Fran, you can do it!

Fran: I don't know what you're talking about I'm fine!

Sophia: So, I'm just trying to picture this, does she need our help or can she climb up now?

Kat: Mmm...

Noel: Can I see how far it is to the next possible illusion, or...

Kat: Yeah, so this  second spike isn't as wide, it's only 4 feet wide. So you will have to somehow get across these 4 feet of spikes to climb out to the other side.

Sophia: What if I Spider Climb and lower down one of the ropes we have, and then  you grab onto it and then I swing you across? Oooh, that's -- oooh, you could land on spikes.

Kat: Yeah, that's not very - yeah.

Noel: Would you consider the pit an object?

Kat: Uhhh, no.

Noel: Would each spike be an object, probably?

Kat: Yes.

Noel: Can I enlarge the spike that I'm holding on to?

Kat: Yeah! Sure, yeah.

Noel: Okay, I'm gonna do that, and then I'm gonna try and leap the four feet - because it's gonna be real tall!

Kat: Mmhmm.

Noel: So I can push myself pretty far, hopefully not falling into another pit of spikes, but... [Kat laughing] it could happen… Alright, so. [laughing] I'm gonna cast Enlarge on the spike. And I'm gonna hold on real tight.

Kat: Alright, I like this. I'm gonna  -- yeah, make another strength. Just to hold onto the spike as it rapidly enlarges.

Noel: Okay, so I got 15.

Kat: Okay yeah! You're able to hold on, and then make an athletics check to do the jump.

Noel: Okay, um, 11.

Kat: You know, that'll, that'll do, pig.

Noel: It's not that far.

Kat: Yeah.

Noel: And I'm really high up.

Kat: Yeah. So you're able to sorta propel yourself --

Noel: Please don't be another illusion!

Kat: -- and you didn't do great on your athletics check, so you're gonna take some fall damage.

Noel: Okay.

Kat: Yeah, you take three points of falling damage.

Noel: Okay, alright. But I fall on the ground?

Kat: You fall on solid ground.

Noel: [excitedly] Oh! I kiss the ground! [all laugh]

Kat: You don't know what's real anymore.

Noel: I'm afraid, I don't like my own tricks being used against me, it's very stressful. Okay, so I get up and - how far is it to the door?

Kat: Not very, it's like another 2 or 3 feet.

Noel: Okay. So like, they could get on the disk from where they are, and hold on to it.

Kat: Yes. Mhmm.

Noel: Alright. Can you all do that?

Kaitlin and Sophia: Yep.

Noel: And then I'm gonna run toward the door, and the disk will follow me.

Kat: It only goes, you know, another couple feet.

Noel: So is it not going to be far enough?

Kat: Well it'll go, it'll be far enough to move it some, but not all the way across.

Noel: Even if I go diagonally, I can't get 20 feet away from this thing?

Kat: You know, yeah, probably if you went diagonally, but again, it's not gonna follow you for very long.

Noel: Yeah, but I can go back and forth! It can come get me a little bit.

Kaitlin: Well if it gets a little closer to the other side I could just jump on while it's close and then wait ‘til it carries me closer.

Kat: Yeah, you guys can do that.

Kaitlin: Okay.

Sophia: I think I'll Spider Climb, you got this.

Kaitlin: Yeah, Sophia should probably do Spider Climb, I'll jump onto the disk.

Sophia: Cool.

Kat: Okay.

Kaitlin: So what's that, athletics?

Kat: Mhm.

Kaitlin: Okay. 14.

Kat: Yeah, that does it. You do it, you do it once, the disk moves...

Kaitlin: I'm on the disk and it moved. [rolls] And that's more than 14.

Kat: Alright, the disk-- you navigate the disk, around the giant spike that Fran created...

Kaitlin: Oh god that's right!

Kat: You have to sort of steer it a little bit, like a canoe.

Kaitlin: Gotta wiggle it little bit.

Kat: But! You are able to get it around that spike and leap out of the pit. Meanwhile, Laika is a creepy wolf spider crawling on the walls to the other side.

Noel: Oh man.

Kat: And congratulations, you made it to the other side of the pit!

All: [in varying degrees of enthusiasm] Yaaayyy.

Noel: Ugh.

Sophia: You need healing.

Kaitlin: Yeah, do you want me to heal you?

Noel: Um, yeah I guess, just in case we get into a fight as soon as we go through the door.

Kaitlin: I'll use Cure Wounds. That's 5 plus 6.

Kat: Okay. Good job, nice.

Noel: Thank you.

Kat: Okay! So you guys get to the other side and you put your hands on them -- them switchies, the switchy-switches.

Noel: Mhm, we sure do.

Kat: And the, the trash compactor door that was slowly moving towards you goes up into the ceiling, stone slabs come out of the floor and cover the pits, all of the other security doors are up, you can see straight out into the end of the cave. And the door opens. Inside the doorway there is a stone stairs leading up and to the left, and as you guys head up those stairs it switches back and it switches back again and the stairs just go up and up and up. You come into a hallway with unlit torches, it looks like its very seldomly used, but it has been used in the fairly recent past, as we learned from all that Divine Sensing that Laika did. And at the end of this hallway you find a pile of white robes and a ladder leading up to a trapdoor. Noel, can you make an investigation check on the robes?

Noel: Yep! That's gonna be a 13.

Kat: Yeah! You sorta toe at these robes and you look at them and you realize there's something in the robes and you pick up the veil and it’s the veil of one of the deer attendants, and when you pick up the veil a -- something falls out. [emotional music begins] And when you bend down to pick it up, it's a necklace, and it's a very familiar necklace, it's one that belonged to Alonia, your mentor.

Noel: Oh fuck.

Sophia: Oh nooooo.

Kat: And, as you see this necklace, you're remembering Alonia and you're kinda trying to think, like "how did this get here?" You know, she was wearing it on the day she died, she was buried with this necklace on, and you -- you're thinking back to the weeks before she died, like how -- who would've taken it, and you're just remembering how distant she was starting to become in her last few weeks, and how strange she had become. And you're looking at this necklace, and something just suddenly strikes you as wrong, just, very wrong.

Noel: I sit down on the ground. And I go silent.

Laika: Fran, is everything okay?

Fran: [wavering voice] Uh-huh.

Kaitlin: I gently touch her shoulder with my claws.

Sophia: What, wait?

Kat: Your hand. Your hand!

Kaitlin: Yeah, I don't know what the difference is.  And I say:

Corbin: Hey. Hey buddy.

Noel: I do not answer to that.

Corbin: Are you okay?

Noel: I am shaken, and I'm shaking. And I do not respond.

Kaitlin: Do you say-- Oh, I was gonna say, do you say that out loud?

Noel: Yeah, I say it in that funny silly voice. [laughter]

Sophia: I go and I sit down next to you and I, um, I'm gonna examine that necklace and probably - let me just make sure I can open my Divine Sense...

Kaitlin: While Laika does that, I begin to give you a back rub.

Noel: Oh god!

Kaitlin: I'm assuming you don't like it, but it's a very good backrub.

Noel: I hate it!

Kaitlin: Kay.

Sophia: So I open my Divine Sense while that's happening.

Kat: Okay. Yeah, thi is something that has been touching something very evil, something fully unholy.

Laika: Uh, whoever wore this necklace was one bad, stinky dude.

Noel: I slowly look up at Laika and I say:

Fran: What the fuck does that mean?

Laika: It smells like a butthole.

Noel: I grab it away from you, and I put it in my pocket and I say,

Fran: Let's just keep going.

Laika: Whose necklace was that?

Fran: I don't think it's any of your business, you stinky butthole!

Laika: Hey.

Kaitlin: I give Fran's shoulders a big squeeze [all laugh] and I say,

Corbin: Everybody, can we just calm down, can we just -- let's just --

Noel: I, um, rip my shoulders out of your grasp, I am not okay with that.

Corbin: Let's just take a breather.

Noel: I start climbing the ladder.

Corbin. Ohh.

Sophia: Was there anything else in the robes, or anything else we could search?

Kat: No, it was just a pile of robes with the -- it's the deer attendant robes

Sophia: Right. So I look at Corbin and I'm like:

Laika: What's up with that?

Corbin: Who know what's ever up with that.

Sophia: I high-five Corbin.

Kat: Okay well --

Sophia: We climb up the ladder.

Kat: Okay, you climb up the ladder and get to the trap door, which you push -- you attempt to push open, but there's some resistance? And you hear somebody above you and they go "AaaAuuUUuggHH!" and you hear them take a bunch of steps back and then you're able to open the trapdoor, and you're in the pantry.

Sophia: Of the palace?

Kat: Yeah, of the Temple Palace.

Kaitlin: You mean we could have just gone into the fucking pantry and opened a stupid door and gotten here?

Kat: Yes.

Kaitlin: I wanna die right now.

Sophia: Where the hell is the Goddess?!

Noel: This is bullshit! Ugh, it does figure, it makes sense.

Kat: This, it looks like what you guys have just gone through is a secret entrance and exit to the palace.

Noel: Mhm. Mhm.

Kat: And I'm just gonna remind you of some things. The Greater Animals didn't know about this place, which you can safely assume then that this is something that the Goddess is probably the only one who knows about it? The Goddess and maybe her closest attendants. Probably you guys would've been told about it eventually, but just hadn't been. But this is the "shit goes wrong" entrance and exit.

Noel: And the Goddess has been here recently.

Kat: Mhm.

Noel: In what part of the palace are we? Like in the basement?

Kat: Mhm, yeah you're in the basement underneath the kitchens.

Noel: Okay. How big would you say the temple is?

Kat: It is, it's the size of the Capitol building. Of Minnesota, but you know --

Noel: Do you know how far a thousand feet is? Because I have no concept of that [laughter]

Kaitlin: I think it's like a block, cuz I just know that every time -

Noel: Yeah, when you're in - driving your car it's like [GPS voice] "800 feet".

Kaitlin: Yeah, and you're like "What?!"

Noel: That's about a block, so I think it's a little bit more than a block.

Sophia: How many Kaitlins is that?

Kaitlin: How many Kaitlins about are in a block?

Noel: That's about --

Sophia: 1,000 divided by 5

Noel: 1,000 divided by 5 is 200?

Kat: 200 Kaitlins.

Kaitlin: 200.

Sophia: Wow, that's too many Kaitlins.

Kaitlin: That seems like way too many Kaitlins.

Noel: Um, okay, so basically the Goddess, she wears like jewelry right, that's symbolic?

Kat: Mhm. Yes.

Noel: Is that like -- what kind of necklace does she wear?

Sophia: It's like a wolf talon?

Noel: I've seen that, I've been within 30 feet of it, and I'm gonna cast Locate Object and I can sense the direction of that object's location if it's within 1,000 feet of me.

Kat: Okay. Yeah, actually, it is! Her necklace is resonating as being somewhere above you.

Noel: I can also sense if it's in motion and the direction of its movement. Is it moving at all?

Kat: Yeah, but it's pacing?

Noel: Okay, so not like, going somewhere.

Kat: Mhm.

Noel: Y'all.

Sophia: Noice.

Noel: I just got this spell, so.

Sophia: That's awesome.

Kat: Did that servant you guys froze, did I give her a name?

Noel: You did, and it was Redroof Oatstreamer [all laugh]

Kat: Yes it was! Because that was the best Halfling name that I had. Uh, yeah, okay, Redroof. So this servant that you startled coming out of the trapdoor, it's Redroof!

Sophia: Oh my god!

Kat: She is understandably kinda freaked out by you guys.

Sophia: I still haven't put on my armor, so I'm in my boxers and cool t-shirt.

Kat: Have you just been carrying that around?

Sophia: Yeah!

Kat: You have.

Noel: We've been in a hurry.

Kat: You kinda have been.

Redroof: [spluttering] What -- what are you-- what are you doing here?!

Noel: I just like don't really have the energy right now to put on a façade, so I just like point at my eyes and point at here and I'm like:

Fran: We were never here.

Kaitlin: I pat her on the shoulder and I say:

Corbin: It's official guardian business, don't even worry your short little head about it.

Redroof: [meekly] Oh, okay, um the Goddess is back from her walk, she's in her room if you're still looking for her.

Noel: I just leave the room.

Corbin: Thank you, darling

Kaitlin: And I pat her on the back again.

Kat: Okay.

Sophia: I say,

Laika: Give me five!

Kat: She hesitantly gives you five.

Sophia: I have her a thumbs up and then I follow Corbin.

Kat: So. Where are you going, what are you doing?

Noel: Okay, um...

Kat: How're you feeling?

Noel: I'm feeling like I want to find the Goddess.

Kaitlin: Yeah.

Noel: 'Cause we've now just really done a lot.

Sophia: Yes, for nothing.

Noel: We also have a few other things we should check out. How long is it gonna be before the Festival of Lights?

Kat: That is tomorrow morning.

Noel: Okay.

Kaitlin: What are the things we need to check out?

Noel: There's like a few things. Like we never got that book back, we never tested the lantern. But, there is something that I want to check out in the Goddess’s room.

Kat: Mhm!

Sophia: I feel like Goddess first.

Kaitlin: Yeah, I feel like that would probably be the most important.

Sophia: We gotta be like "What the hell you wasted our time for?"

Kat: You guys head up there?

Noel: Yeah, let's go get the Goddess before she disappears again, and I have to just punch myself in the face for ten years.

Kat: Okay, um, it is nighttime now, by the way. You spent your whole day doing all of this.

Noel: Fine!

Kat: You've done a lot today, honestly.

Noel: Yeah, we're kinda sleepy.

Kaitlin: Yeah.

Noel: I'm kinda -- I'm hysterical at this point.

Kat: So those golem guards are still outside her room.

Noel: Okay.

Kat: And they still will not let you get close to the door.

Noel: Alright, let's just  go to the frickin bathroom hole. [laughter]

Kaitlin: Yeeah.

Kat: Okay, so you go to your secret bathroom hole, but it has been repaired already.

Sophia: Wow.

Noel: That's quick work!

Kaitlin: We could just do it again!

Noel: Isn't that yesterday?

Kat: You live in a society of mages, someone had stoneshape.

Noel: Alright, that's fair, that's fair. I wish I had stoneshape, goddamnit!

Sophia: Isn't there a servants entrance though?

Noel: Oh yeah, we can go through there!

Kat: Yeah! Yeah, you could. Uh yeah, so if you go up through the servants entrance, and you come out in her bathroom, what do you want to do?

Noel: So, I can sense where the Goddess is?

Kat: Yeah, she is very close by. She's definitely within her chambers at the  moment.

Noel: Okay.

Kat: Or at least her necklace is.

Noel: Okay, so, can we peek inside and see what's going on?

Kat: Okay. So you guys peek around the corner, Three Stooges-style.

Noel: I'm on the bottom, y'all know.

Sophia: I'm on the top!

Kat: Which means Corbin, you are awkwardly in the middle.

Sophia: Sandwich.

Kaitlin: I think that's true though, for height.

[All agree]

Kaitlin: Not in real life! [laugh]

Noel: Yeah, I'm one and 8/60ths of Kaitlin.

Kaitlin: [laughing] One and 8/60ths?!

Noel: Yeah, that's 8 inches.

Kaitlin: Ohhh

Kat: Yeah, so you looked around the corner, Three Stooges-style and you see one of the deer veiled attendants sitting by the Goddess’s bed and the Goddess is snug in her bed, asleep.

Sophia: I'm gonna use Divine Sense, while we're back here.

Kat: So what can you tell with your Divine Sense again?

Sophia: So celestial, fiend, or undead.

Kat: Okay. Yeah, she none of those.  But she is not... good. She somewhere on the evil spectrum.

Sophia & Noel: Okay.

Noel: What kind of sense is she getting off the Goddess?

Kat: Pure, divine goodness. She's beautiful and perfect in every way, you know, as she does.

Noel: As she does.

Kaitlin: I'm gonna cast Pass Without a Trace.

Noel: So basically we get +10 to dexterity and stealth and we can't be traced...

Kat: Except by magical means?

Kaitlin: Yeah.

Noel: So I think one person should try to sneak in.

Kaitlin: Yeah, one at a time, I've cast it on all of us.

Sophia: Okay.

Kaitlin: So if one of us fails, technically that person could do a distraction and a second person could come in and try.

Sophia: That's a good plan, who wants to go first?

Noel: Let's have Corbin go.

Kaitlin: I'll go.

Kat: Okay. Corbin, make a stealth check.

Kaitlin: So that's 26.

Kat: Okay.

Sophia: Let's rip off the veil, if we can.

Kat: Okay, so. Corbin you go to rip off her veil and she doesn't move, but the second you reach for the veil she says:

Attendant: I know you're there.

Kaitlin: Hm. Dislike.

Noel: Bad.

Kaitlin: I grab it anyways.

Kat: You grab it? [all laugh]

Kaitlin: I'm not gonna stop!

Kat: Okay, it is Cecilia sitting here, so.

Sophia: Confirmed.

Kat: Confirmed, it is Cecilia, she is still a high elf, she's --

Noel: This is the second time you've ripped off her veil [all burst into laughter]

Kat: She just looks back and goes,

Cecilia: Why do you keep doing that?

Noel: I pop out from the bathroom and I go:

Fran: [sing-songy voice] Hey Cecilia, I've been looking everywhere for you buddy!

Sophia: I'm gonna Spider Climb and then --

Kaitlin: Oh god yes!

Sophia: And then say,

Laika: [deeper and rougher than usual] Hey Cecilia!

Sophia: - in a really creepy voice.

Kaitlin: On the ceiling.

Sophia: Yeah.

Kaitlin: Yeah yeah yeah.

Kat: Oh, god. [all laugh]

Kat: She is startled and looks up, she jumps, and sorta shakes her head, and goes,

Cecilia: The Goddess is sleeping, could this not wait for morning?

Fran: [sing-songy voice] Absolutely not!

Laika: Where's your evil partner?

Corbin: Villain.

Cecilia: My --

Noel: You guys!

Cecilia: My evil partner? I think you may be imagining things.

Laika: Uh. Cordelia?

Cecilia: Yes, she is off attending to other duties, I am staying with the Goddess while she sleeps.

Kaitlin: Evil duties.

Laika: Human sacrifices!

Cecilia: No...

Fran: We came from the bathroom, there weren't any duties in there, evil or otherwise.

Laika: You're lying!

Noel: So, I am really just tired of all this shit at this point and I say:

Fran: We need to talk to the Goddess, and we need to do it alone, so we need you to leave.

Kat: And just as Cecilia is trying to respond to you, the Goddess sits up and looks around and she signs to Cecilia,

Goddess: Can you give us a minute?

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Sophia: Hi, my name is Sophia, my hands are weak -- I mean -- [everyone else bursts into laughter] Lemme take that again. My hands are sweaty, palms weak, knees spaghetti, shit.

Kaitlin: [while laughing] I wanna die!

Sophia: I really can't get through this. My hands are sweaty, and I'm also in high definition. And my character's name is -- okay, okay let's take that again.

[END]