Dames & Dragons 20. Into Avelis (Part 11)

The Guardians are climbing a mountain. Why are they climbing a mountain? To find Torva's Jaw. To steal...from that jaw. To protect sweet, wonderful Maeri. To envelop that Maeri (in the Torva-proof cloak.)

✂️ Ep. 20 Outtakes & Extras ✂️ 

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Transcript

Dames and Dragons

DUNGEON MASTER/NPCs: Kat

FRAN THE WATER GENASI WIZARD is played by Noel

LAIKA THE TIEFLING PALADIN is played by Sophia

CORBIN THE HUMAN DRUID is played by Kaitlin

Dames and Dragons Transcript Episode 20 – Into Avelis (Part 11)

[music begins playing]

[Ad pixie ad for dungeons guild supplement encounters in the savage cities]

[music fades to intro]

Sophia: Hey guys, did you hear what day it is?

Kat: Uh, it’s Sunday?

Sophia: It’s nat—no. 

[gasps that vaguely resemble laughter]

Sophia: It’s national DM appreciation day.

[Noel gasps]

Noel: Ohhh!

Kaitlin: Ohhh!

Kat: And you didn’t bring me a donut.

Sophia: I did. Didn’t you see this giant turkey dinner over here? Let’s describe it.

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) beings playing] 

[Multiple ‘Wow’s]

Noel: Sophie, that’s so kind. You didn’t have to do that for Kat. 

Sophia: I had to. 

Kat: You didn’t. 

Sophia: Noel, could you describe it for me?

Noel: Oh, it is decadent. The turkey is moist. I can see it from here. And feel it from here. 

Kaitlin: I can’t see or feel it. 

Sophia: No imagination.

Noel: Yes, and Kaitlin… um… lost her sense of smell and taste and touch.

Kat: And sight. Well, thank you guy—

Kaitlin: Help me. 

Noel: You’re welcome, Kat. You just eat that. We’re gonna take over from here. 

Kat: Okay. I’m gonna go eat this great turkey dinner. 

Noel: Okay. Let’s play dnd. 

[giggles]

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) plays and then fades out] 

[Kat begins singing ‘do’ in the background]

Noel: [gravely, pompous voice] Let us play. Let us play dnd. 

Sophia: [grave, pompous voice] It is time for dnd. 

Noel: I wish to play. 

Sophia: Roll me the dice, boy. 

Kat: [bright, cheerful voice] Hi, I’m Kat! I’m your DM.

Sophia: [voice continues] I am Sopiha, I play Laika.

Noel: [voice continues] I am Noel and I play… Fra’nika. Otherwise known as Fran. 

Kaitlin: [whispering] I’m Corbin. 

[laughter]

Kaitlin: I fucked up. 

Kat: [Singing] Kaitlin’s gone full method! Kaitlin isn’t here! [Stops singing] Last time on Dames and Dragons… Duh dun! We started last time with several of you almost being swept over a waterfall. However, with some quick thinking, some magic and some human fart-clouds—

[Noel laughs]

Kat: —you guys were able to make it across the rushing water and arrived at the Temple of Iol. You learned that tieflings were originally created as a gift to Torva. You bought some cool magical items and then you watch Salm’s brothers funeral. You made the wise decision to not participate in it, lest you ruin the touching moment.

[giggles]

Kat: So that’s where you are now. The funeral ends and people are returning to the main entry platform to sit around the fire and have a bit of dinner and chat. There are trays of food being brought to the pilgrims who are gathered there. It looks like wherever the tieflings eat, it’s somewhere else. You can actually see some of them flying up into a cavern above. Do you guys head down to your dinner?

Sophia: Would we leave at this point?

Noel: We should eat first. 

Kaitlin: Let's get a good meal in our—

Sophia: And rest. 

Noel: We should rest. 

Kaitlin: —in our tums.

Sophia: I wanna eat whatever tieflings traditionally eat. 

Kat: You make that request after you guys have come down to that main hall and are sitting with the other pilgrims. One of the tieflings who’s serving dinner, you ask her, y’know. 

Unnamed Serving Tiefling: Well, the acolytes of this temple stick to a strictly vegetarian diet and we don’t want to subject our pilgrims to this. So please, help yourself to the dried meats and fruits. The cheese is wonderful. 

Fran: So you make your cooks cook meat and they can’t eat it?

Unnamed Serving Tiefling: Well, we dry out meat. It’s all preserved. 

Fran: They have to look at it and smell it. 

Laika: Are all tieflings vegetarian?

Unnamed Serving Tiefling: Yes, it’s part of our code. 

Sophia: Laika walks over and just eats a piece of meat while she thinks about this. 

Kat: Sitting around this fire are a higher number of elderly people than you would expect to have made this journey. But it seems like it’s primarily who are getting up there in years. There’s Palo and Salm, and they’re off to the side by themselves, having a quiet moment. 

Noel: Are we sitting by the old people?

Kat: Yeah. It’s a round fire, so you know.

Noel: I smile at them and I’m like:

Fran: So you came here to die, huh?

[Laughter]

Kat: I mean, yeah! But I didn’t think you’d just say it!

Kaitlin: Oh my god!

Kat: It’s an old gnome woman that you’re speaking to and she says:

[‘guitar innocence’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) beings playing] 

Unnamed Elderly Gnome Woman: Oh, well, if you like to put it that way, yes! Yes I have. 

Fran: That’s very cool. We probably also came here to die. A lot in common. 

Unnamed Elderly Gnome Woman: Ohh, you’re very funny, child. 

[Fran laughs uncomfortably]

Fran: I’m afraid of what's gonna happen. 

Kat: The old woman, she takes your hand. She says:

Unnamed Elderly Gnome Woman: Now, there's nothing to be afraid of, dear. The embrace of Iol is dark and final, but it is full of comfort. 

[Sophia makes an uncomfortable ‘Ehhooooo’ noise]

Sophia: Laika looks at Fran and is like,

Laika: There’s a lot to be afraid of. 

Corbin: I have no feelings but I would just like to point out that what you just said was a contradiction. 

Unnamed Elderly Gnome Woman: Oh, no. Those of us who have come here to face our end… we’ve come seeking finality in our lives. Many of us—

Kat: She gestures around the other old people and says,

Unnamed Elderly Gnome Woman: Many of us… our families are scattered or have died before us and it is better to be buried here where we know that Besk will find us than to be forgotten in our homes. 

Laika: What if you’re going to a place where Besk can’t find you?

Elderly Gnome Woman: Besk will always come. 

Fran: Well,  I’ll see you there someday. Hopefully not very soon, but probably. 

[Fran laughs uncomfortably again]

Kat: Maeri finds you guys as you're getting your dinner prepared and she has three plates that she’s holding and two of them are heaped with jerky and dried meat. Zarun and Gingie are both following very closely at her heels and they keep trying to dislodge the plates from her arms. 

Fran: Maeri, damn you’re hungry. 

Kat: She gives a silent laugh but she can’t sign because her hands are too full. Finally she puts the two plates of jerky down and Zarun and Gingie just leap for them.

Fran: That is so rude. That is Maeri’s food!

Kat: She sits down next to you guys and signs:

Maeri: No, it’s fine. I got that for them

Fran: Ohhh. 

Kat: So she sits down and she says:

Maeri: I’ve been thinking about it and I think it’s better if the three of you make the rest of the journey alone and I say here. I know—

Kat: She signs, looking directly at Laika. 

Maeri: —I know you feel it is your duty to protect me but—

Fran: Who’s gonna protect us, Maeri?

Corbin: I get it Maeri. You just want to stay here, we’ll do all the work. 

Maeri: No, no.  I just don’t feel that I would be… I can’t control my power and I can’t fight like you, Laika—

Laika: That’s not gonna change if you stay here. You have to get out there. 

Maeri: But is it really the best thing for me to try and learn about my powers when going into a potentially life threatening situation in which I could get you or us all killed?

Fran: Well it’s gonna be life threatening either way. But I for one could really use the power that you have. And do your protections still work? We could use that too. 

Maeri: I don’t know. I—I mean, I just don’t feel like I would be much use. 

Laika: You’ve already saved us countless times. We’ve come to rely on you. And I realise the dynamic has shifted, that originally we were supposed to be your guardians but we need you just as much as you need us at this point. 

Corbin: Yeah, you’re part of the team, Maeri.

Fran: I’m sorry I said you were evil inside, Maeri. Please don’t leave.

Kat: She’s tryin—starts to sign a couple of things but finally she puts her hands down and just nods.

Noel: Okay. 

Kaitlin: Did—did we do it?

Kat: You did it. 

Noel: We passed the test!

Kaitlin: [Loudly] We did it!

Sophia: Do we need to buy her clothing?

Kaitlin: Yeah. I said I would do it. 

Noel: Yeah. I take out the magic compass that I bought from Dawson and I open it up so I can see the dial.

[‘guitar innocence’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) concludes playing] 

Fran: I think we need to make a plan and first of all I think we need to see if we can find the cloak to hide the Goddess using this compass. Uhhh. Vioni’s Cloak.

Kat: The compass needle spins. 

Noel: It doesn’t end up pointing at anything?

Kat: No. It doesn’t point anywhere. You have to speak the name of the cloak. 

Noel: Oh, does it have to be an exact name?

Fran: The Cloak of Goddess-Hiding. 

Kat: No, it just keeps spinning. 

Laika: The Cloak of Concealment. 

Kat: Nope. 

Fran: Janbo’s Cloak.

Kat: Nope. 

Laika: My cloak.

Sophia: Which I’m wearing. 

Kat: It points to you, Laika. 

Laika: Well at least it’s not broken. 

Corbin: Berger-Jerger’s claw. 

Kat: It points west. 

[Corbin gasps really long and really hard]

[Laughter]

Fran: Bae’s antler.

Kat: It points south west.

Fran: What the fuck!

Laika: Vioni’s foot. 

[Laughter]

Kat: It just spins. 

Corbin: Vioni’s grubby toe-nail. 

Kat: Continues spinning.

Corbin: It’s everywhere. 

Noel: Where did it point for Bae?

Kat: South-west.

Kaitlin: That could be a journey later. 

Noel: Yeah, that’s a good thing to know. 

Fran: Well I guess we’ll have to deal with that later. I think another thing we need to think about is how the Goddess can protect us. She protected an entire island and kept it hidden so she must have some kind of magic that can be used to help us. 

Maeri: But I’m not her. 

Kat: The Goddess—Maeri, she signs that to you. 

Maeri: I don’t know if that was my power. 

Kat: And she—her hands are starting to shake as she signs this.

Maeri: I wasn’t able to hold the island together when it started to fall apart. I tried… and I just—I couldn’t. 

Laika: You were able to hold it together for a moment. Maybe you just haven’t come into your own powers yet. 

Fran: And they needed to manipulate you for years and they needed to use whatever those weird lanterns were to get the barrier down in the first place. That was all coming from you. So whether or not it works under pressure, it works sometimes. And that's more than we have without you trying. 

Corbin: You may not be a god but I mean, you’re definitely a badass, Maeri. 

 Kat: She nods. 

Laika: We’re all finding our place in this new world. 

Kat: She nods again and folds her hands in her lap. 

Fran: For the most part our place seems to be barreling towards the jaws of death. 

Corbin: So we’re all badasses.

[Weird, disjointed laughter from everyone]

Corbin: I have no feelings or emotions. I feel nothing. 

Kat: The Goddess signs,

Maeri: Well aren’t we already in the jaws of death?

[Yet more weird and disjointed laughter]

Fran: Maeri, you’ve done it. 

Kat: She made a joke!

Corbin: I unironically loved that joke, Maeri. 

Kat: She nods. Maeri signs, 

Maeri: Fran, what you were saying about not getting the body… Do you all think that is truly wise? If we can make an ally out of Vioni, then shouldn’t we?

Fran: Um.

Laika: We do have a plan to kill all the gods.  

Maeri: You know I am probably a god?

Laika: Yeah you’re right—

Corbin: But you’re cool, Maeri!

Laika: And Vioni is cool, maybe we can get to know her and work with her as well. But she does have a relationship with Torva and she’s the goddess of Scavengers so—

Maeri: But why would she tell us? To find all th—

Laika: Because people and gods lie. 

Corbin: That’s true but I will say the story she told seems like she probably wants to kill some of the gods too. Like, Torva specifically. 

Fran: And what you guys saw in the temple, it doesn’t seem like she has much power. 

Corbin: Yeah. 

Laika: We did give her our hair. 

Corbin: Oh yeah! So she’s got a ton of power now.

[Laughter]

Fran: Yeah, Torva has your fucking hair, idiot. 

Laika: You make a fair point. And… it seems like the best option is to help Vioni but I do think we shouldn’t trust her fully until we understand what her true intentions are. 

Corbin: Agreed. 

Fran: Agreed.

Sophia: We put our hands in the middle.

Kat: Goooo team!

Kaitlin: We have to say something cool though.

Noel: Um. Uh. 

Corbin: Burger-Jerger!

Laika: Good plan!

Kat: Oka—

[Laughter]

Kaitlin: You are talking about our killing the gods plan. 

Kat: You all put your hands in and on three you say…

[Simultaneously]

Corbin: Good plan!

Laika: Good plan!

Fran: Good forethought and planning!

Corbin: Fran!

Kat: Good enough. 

Corbin: We mighta had a good plan but we got a bad Fran.

Kat: You guys—you get a good night's rest here. I assume you guys are leaving pretty early the next day?

Noel: Yeah.

Kat: You guys take a long rest. You bundle up in your warm clothes. They are very plain, grey. You have your cloak but this set of clothes has a knit hat, pair of fur-lined animal skin mittens, heavy fur-lined coat and trousers and a pair of boots with thick soles. 

Kaitlin: If Corbin cuts a boob-window into his warm clothes will it negate the warmth?

Kat: Yes. 

Kaitlin: God fucking damn it.

Sophia: You can draw a boob window on it.

Corbin: Fran, would you put a boob-window on me?

Fran: Uhmmmmm. 

Noel: I make an illusion of a boob-window on Corbin. 

Corbin: Thank you, Fran. 

Noel: But the skin inside looks sickly and horrible. 

Corbin: So, the same? Thanks Fran, very good accuracy. 

Fran: Yeah, you’re welcome. I got your chestne on there.

Corbin: [High-pitched, affronted] My what!?

Fran: Chest acne. 

Kat: Chestne. 

Kaitlin: Oh. That’s what that’s called?

Noel: No. 

Kat: You guys all bundled up and the Goddess, despite now going with you, she is not able to convince Zarun to also come. Zarun digs in his paws and he is—he is not going back out there unless it is to get off this damn mountain. 

Sophia: I think Laika would talk to him. 

Kat: Okay, what—

Sophia: Just be like:

Laika: Hey, I think it’s for the best too, that you stay here, Grandpa. We’ve been pushing you really hard and take as much time as you need here to rest. I'm gonna ask one of the tiefling attendants to look out for you and make sure you get food. 

Zarun: Thank you, my child. 

Laika: I love you, Grandpa. 

Zarun: I love you too, Laika. 

[Kaitlin wails in the background from the cuteness]

Sophia: I give him a—I scratch his butt. 

[Laughter]

Kat: He likes that. He wags his tail. And he sorta backs up into your scratches. 

Sophia: And I’m like:

Laika: Typical Grandpa.

Kat: As you guys are heading for the door, Marcus, the tiefling who had greeted you, he was on door duty last night and I guess he is clopening the temple. He looks at you—

Marcus: Excuse me, where are you going this early?

Laika: To the hell world. 

Fran: Bye!

Marcus: I’m sorry, what?

Corbin: To die. 

Fran: You know. 

Marcus: I’m sorry but it’s— there's a storm coming. You should not be heading out. 

Laika: We gotta go to Torva’s Jaw. 

Corbin: When is there not a storm coming?

Marcus: No! You should not go to Torva’s Jaw!

Fran: Storm’s coming for Torva.

Corbin: [Laughs] Yeah!

Marcus: Please! It is… to say nothing of the danger of the place itself. Simply getting across the mountain, it would be suicide.

Laika: It took us an hour to get on these hot clothes. Do we look good?

[Laughter]

Marcus: You look fine. I—

Laika: We gotta go. 

Marcus: I’m sorry, children. But I insist, you must wait out this storm. 

Fran: Mmmmmm.

Corbin: No. 

Fran: How long is it gonna take for the storm to pass?

Marcus: I don’t know. It’s coming in from the north, I suppose it will be here probably by the end of the day and—

Laika: Is there a god of storms?

Marcus: I suppose Avari is the Force of the Tempest.  I—

Sophia: Laika writes on her armour, under a list that says ‘Gods to kill’, Avari. I think somehow Torva’s responsible for this and this is supposed to get difficult. And I have a feeling the longer the wait, it’s still gonna be there. It’s like, something to prevent us from going. 

Kaitlin: That’s what I was thinking. If we leave now though maybe we can outrun it. 

Fran: I’m wondering if there's a way that we see if it’s magical. 

Sophia: Lets ask this guy. 

Laika: Do you have a way to tell that something’s magical?

Marcus: No. 

Sophia: Can I just look at it and roll a perception check?

Kat: Okay. You step outside and roll me a survival check. 

[Dice rolling]

Sophia: Eighteen plus four. 

Kat: You look to the north and you can see the beginnings of a storm. From this distance you can’t tell if it’s magical or not but you can tell it will be here by nightfall. 

Sophia: How long do we estimate from the map—how far away is Torva’s Jaw?

Kat: From where you're standing here—I assume you just stepped out onto that platform outside the door? You can see Torva’s Jaw from here.

Sophis: Do I think that we could get there by nightfall?’

Kat: If you pushed really hard and everything went right you would be able to get there by nightfall. 

Sophia: I return to my fellow compatriots and I relay this information to them. 

Noel: Letsa go!

Kaitlin: I agree. 

Sophia: We will be stuck there if anything bad happens. 

Kaitlin: But also I feel like if we wait to leave we’ll have worse chances on our checks and stuff. 

Sophia: That’s true. 

[‘this is A Lot’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) begins to play]

Kat: Okay. Ahead of you guys is the Farah Mountain range. Where you are right now, you are on Farah’s Peak and far to the west of you are three balck points and this is Torva’s Jaw. Between here and there is mountains. Tall cliffs, deep cravassses, snow as far as you can see. But, it’s where you’ve gotta go, so you get going. What sort of marching order do you have?

Noel: Mmm. 

Sophia: Who has the compass?

Kaitlin: I feel like we would have Laika go first as a windbreaker if it’s windy. 

Kat: That does make sense; you are the tallest. 

Sophia: Laika resents it but she will do it. 

Kat: You’re the tallest which also means it’s easier for you to walk in the snow. 

Kaitlin: Yeah. 

Noel: Yeah, exactly. You gotta make a path for us. 

Sophia: Again, Laika resents it, but she does it. 

[Giggles]

Kat: So it’s gonna be Laika and then who?

Noel: I’ll go last just because I’m probably—

Sophia: Ging—

Noel: —okay at snow. 

Kaitlin: Oh yeah. 

Sophia: Gingie’s last too because she’s gonna help people it they fall. 

Kat: Okay. 

Kaitlin: Aww. 

Kat: Gingie is walking with Fran in the back and I guess that means Corbin and Maeri are in the middle?

Kaitlin: Yeah. 

Kat: Okay. I will have you all make a survival check. This is gonna be a group check. 

[Dice rolling]

Kaitlin: I don’t trust this dice. 

Kat: Alright, well…

Kaitlin: I have really good survival but I don’t think it’s gonna be enough to—

Sophia: I got a nine. 

Noel: I got a thirteen. 

Kaitlin: Eleven.

Kat: Yeah. 

[Dice roll]

Kaitlin: C’mon Crazy Maeri.

Kat: No, that’s not great. 

Kaitlin: Oh God, fuck.

Sophia: Well we might be walking through a storm. 

Kat: You guys set out. It snowed last night so there is a layer of powder over the mountain. As you head out from the Temple there's no clear path, so you’re forging it on your own. The snow is-it’s deep and it’s hard to walk through. What you believe to be the smartest course of action is to hike on the ridge. The snow is still deep up there but at least you can see where you are going and you’re not walking on a slanted path. And form the top of this ridge you can see everywhere. You can see the whole continent for miles. To your north you can see a scarlet field which stretches out before you. And to the south you can see the path you have taken to get here. And the powdery snow is shifting under your feet. I’m gonna have you all make dex saves.

[Dice roll]

Noel: Kay…

Kaitlin: I don’t trust my dice. 

Sophia: Thirteen.

Noel: Five. 

Sophia: Oh no. 

Kaitlin: Twenty but not natural. 

[‘this is A Lot’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) concludes playing]

Kat: Laika, you are hiking across the top of this ridge and what you don’t realise until it’s too late is that the entire top of the ridge—it’s just a mushroom of powder. There’s no rock underneath it. And by the time you’ve realised this it’s too late and you are already sliding down the mountain. And then Fran, you lunge after her to try and shape the water but the powder shifts under your feet too quickly and you are falling after her. 

Kaitlin: I can also try to make dex save to save you guys because I rolled well. 

Kat: Yeah, go ahead. See if you can catch them or something. 

Sophia: What about Gingie?

Noel: Yeah.

[Dice roll]

Kaitlin: I got a twelve. 

Kat: Gingie got a nine. That’s not gonna do it. 

Kaitlin: Bye.

Noel: We’re falling fairly close to each other, I think?

Kat: Yeah. 

Noel: So I’m gonna cast shape water to melt the snow under us and make a ledge and freeze it. 

Kat: To do that I’m gonna have you make a dex check to see if you can do that quickly enough as you’re falling. 

Noel: Fifteen.

Kat: Fran makes a ledge for the two of you to land on and make just another dex check to see if you can land without hurting yourselves. 

Noel: I got seventeen.

Sophia: Nineteen. 

Kat: You guys both do it. Laika, as you’re falling you are able to grab onto the side of the cliff and use it to slow you fall in a very cool spray of ice as you’re slidin’ down the side of this mountain. 

Sophia: Is it snowboarding?

Kat: No. 

Sophia: Is it almost like snowboarding?

Kat: No, because you’re falling vertically. I don’t—I know you’ve been snowboarding. 

Sophia: I’m cuttin’ through that fresh pow-DAH. 

[Quiet giggles]

Kat: So now you guys are about twenty feet below and Corbin, Gingie and the Goddess are all up on top. How do you wanna get back up? 

Sophia: Laika Misty Step’s to the top of the ledge and she’s like,

Laika: Fran, grapple onto me. 

Noel: Fran hates that. She is horrified and then she does a helicopter and throws up the grappling hook. 

Kat: Make a… something check. What would that be? Strength?

[Dice rolling]

Noel: I got a twelve. 

Kat: Oh boy. 

Sophia: Can Laika make a dex check to see if I can try and grab it?

Kat: I was about to say. Laika, make a dex save to see if you can catch it before it falls too far. 

[Dice rolling]

Sophia: Eighteen. 

Kat: That’s enough to catch it anyway. Fran, you are just not quite strong enough to tos this  thing all the way up and it falls just a few feet short but Laika’s able to dive after it and catch it before it falls all the way back down. And now, Laika, make a dex save. 

[Dice rolling]

Sophia: Natural twenty. 

Kat: Alright, you’re fine. 

Noel: Damn. 

Kat: The powder starts to slip underneath you as you dive and catch this grappling hook but you are able to dig your boots into the snow so that you don’t fall. And—so you—I’m not gonna have you make a strength save to pull her up because you just do it an infinite amount of times. Until it works. So from this point on, you guys learn your lesson. You’re able to make a little bit better progress now that you are a little bit further down and in less danger of falling. After a few more hours of hiking across the ridge, you reach a seventy degree incline which you need to climb up. 

Noel: Ooohh. Let’s throw up that grappling hook. Laika, I hand it over to you. 

Sophia: [Sounding pained] Okay…. [Dice rolling] I rolled a critical fail. 

Kat: Ohh nooo. Laika, you toss the grappling hook up and it sails through the air and then it comes right back down and it hits you—bonk—on the head. 

Sophia: Aww. Do I take damage? 

Kat: Nah, it’s fine. 

Sophia: But! I have a luck point that I’m gonna use to reroll. 

Noel: We could also just do this infinite tomes until we succeed. 

Kat: Yeah, that’s true. 

Sophia: I’m embarrassed. So I take one point of embarrassment. 

[Dice roll]

Sophia: I got a natural twenty. 

Kat: Oh, nice. That time it works, you are able to sink the grappling hook into the snow at the top of the ridge and use the grappling hooks to get y’all up there. 

Noel: And we lift Gingie up after us, right?

Sophia: Yeah. 

Kat: At the top of this incline there is a very steep drop, maybe fifteen feet. And beyond that it is just a snow field in front of you.

Noel: I mean, we can just cast Feather Fall and just jump down.

Sophia: I think Laika would still wanna use the grappling hook, just in case. 

Noel: That sounds like a good plan. I also cast Feather Fall before we go. 

Kat: Fran casts Feather Fall and you guys secure the grappling hook in another snow anchor. In what order do you go down?

Kaitlin: I don’t have to roll because I can fly. I can just go down as you guys go down. 

Noel: To watch out.

Sophia: Laika would probably wait to go with Gingie. I would assume she’s going last. 

Noel: Then I’ll go first and then Maeri. 

Kat: Then actually, it’s Maeri who has to make this check. 

[Dice rolling]

Kat: Fran, you go first and then Maeri is coming down after you and you feel the rope give as the snow anchor that you made starts to slip. Rocks begin falling from underneath the snow. I’m gonna have you make a dexterity save, Fran. 

[Dice rolling]

Noel: That’s eleven. 

Kat: That’s not enough. 

[Noel makes a distressed ‘Mm’ sound]

Kat: Fran, you are hit by one of these boulders as they fall. 

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) (interlude music) begins playing]

Kat: And it catches your arm and pins you down into the powdery snow beneath you. 

Fran: Oh my god! Erugh!

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) (interlude music) plays, fades into interlude]

Noel: And now let's get into that message to Chantel. Chantel. Chantel, I’ve been watching all of your drama recommendations recently. And uh, it's really a lot. It’s really a lot. My mind is going every which way. I suspect everyone I see of betrayal and horrors. And I have you to thank for that. Chantel, codeword today is: Elsfa Elf. I hope that that sleeper agent is active. I pray that that sleeper agent will go. 

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) (interlude music) plays, fades to episode]

Fran: [Whiny] Laika! Bring Gingie down, she’s gotta bite my arm off!

Kat: The Goddess is able to dodge the boulders and is able to make it down safely. She runs over to you Fran and begins panicking around you. 

Fran: Maeri, how sharp are your teeth!?

Kat: She just shakes her head at you.

Sophia: Laika and Gingie are gonna Feather Fall down, then. 

Kat: Okay. You join this… I don’t know. This semi-circle forming around a fallen Fran’ika. 

[Noel giggles]

Kaitlin: Corbin lands on top of the boulder.

[A chorus of ‘No!’s erupts]

Kat: Fran, you feel the boulder sink a little bit more in the snow. 

Fran: [In pain] Ugh! Uh! No! The last of my bone!

Kaitlin: He pecks at it. 

Kat: Fran, can you make a perception check?

Sophia: You’re one cold son of a bitch. 

[Dice rolling]

Noel: Hah! That’s a one!

Kat: Oh, no.

Kaitlin: God.

Kat: Fran, you’re never gonna escape. You’re trapped here forever. 

Fran: Go on without me! You gotta get the cloak for Maeri. But I will haunt you for all of your lives!

Sophia: Laika goes forward and she’s gonna ask Gingie to assist her in pushing the boulder. Very carefully. 

Fran: [Whiny] There's no point…

[Dice rolling]

Laika: It’s gonna be okay. 

Sophia: Nineteen!

Kat: Here's the thing: you are able to push the boulder but as soon as you start pushing it, Fran, you just feel shooting pain in your arm. 

[Fran lets out a distressed and slightly comical scream]

Sophia: In that case, instead of pushing I would shift to lifting. 

Kat: Try to lift it?

Corbin: Lets dig her out. 

Kat: Alright, I won’t make you roll for that. Your, Corbin, your brilliant idea combined with Gingie and her amazing digging prowess. 

Noel: As they’re digging, Fran continues to cry because she thinks they’re digging her grave. 

[Laughter]

Kat: Laika, you are not able to lift the boulder.

[‘ukulele grunge’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) begins playing]

Kat: But using that strength roll you are able to hold it up enough that as they dig Fran out you keep it from sinking further onto her arm. And Fran you are able to wriggle free. 

Noel: Oh, god. My arm looks busted. 

Kat: It does. The Goddess, Maeri, is going to heal you. 

Kaitlin: Wait, hold on. Hold on. I need to know more about this arm. Is there a bone sticking out?

Noel: [Quickly] Several. 

[Giggles]

Kaitlin: How many bones are in your arm?

Noel: How many times can it crack in half?

Kat: Fran, Maeri takes your arm and cradles it and a golden light spreads over your arm and your bones are mended. And throughout the next segment of your hike Maeri is—occasionally she comes over and she touches your arm and heals you just a little bit more. And is just doing it in stages to conserve her energy. 

Noel: Mm. And I’m really milking it. I’m like,

Fran: Ooh. Ouch! Maeri! Oh! Oh my god. 

Sophia: Laika—

Fran: It’s still not healed. 

Noel: But it kind of is. 

Sophia: Laika comes up to you ‘cause she’s believing this and she’s like,

Laika: Oh my god. Do you need a sling?

Fran: [Pitifully] Yeah. If you could get a sling that would be awesome. I’ll just sit in it on your back. It’s fine. 

Laika: Oh. 

[Laughter]

Laika: Uh. Sure. 

Sophia: Laika makes a sling for you to sit on on her back.

Noel: I get inside like a baby. 

Kaitlin: [Through laughter] I hate this.

Kat: So for the next segment of the hike, I guess Laika is carrying Fran like a baby in a papoose?

Sophia: Yep. 

Kat: I’m gonna have you guys make perception rolls. 

[‘ukulele grunge’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) concludes playing]

[Dice rolling]

Sophia: Hm. Thirteen. 

Noel: I got over twenty. 

Kat: Fran, you see them immediately. This cloud of black, screaming birds that is way over head, but they’re getting closer. And they’re getting closer very quickly. 

Noel: Do they seem like they’ve seen us too?

Kat: It seems like they maybe have detected some movement but they—they aren’t heading directly toward you yet. 

Noel: Okay. Is there somewhere we can take cover then?

Kat: Yes. There are a lot of boulders with overhangs in this area that you would be able to get underneath. 

Noel: Alright. Well let's go. I jump out of the sling, by the way. 

Sophia: And Laika is impressed and a little suspicious that you regained so much of your good health back so suddenly. She takes off the sling and wipes off her back while making eye contact with fran. 

Noel: Well...

Kat: I’m gonna have you guys make stealth rolls. 

Noel: Corbin, do you wanna cast Pass Without a Trace on us first?

Kaitlin: I will, in fact, cast Pass Without a Trace. 

Kat: Okay. 

Kaitlin: And I do that. 

Kat: Alright. Lets see if you guys can hide from some birds. 

[Dice rolling]

Sophia: I take disadvantage though, right?

Kat: Yeah, you do. 

[Die rolling]

Sophia: Well I got an eight again. So… Twenty-two.

Kaitlin: I got twenty-five. 

Kat: And Gingie rolled a natural twenty so she’s fine. 

Noel: I got a one. 

Kat: Oh no! And so did the Goddess. So you guys are running. You guys see the path that you need to take between the boulders and you guys go for it. But Fran, you trip and you fall and the Goddess stops to help you up and by the time that you guys are both back up on your feet the birds are coming directly towards you. 

Noel: Can I use a reaction to cast a spell?

Kat: Yeah, go ahead. 

Noel: I’m gonna use Silent Image and cast above our heads an image of the snowy ground so the birds can't see us. 

Kat: Nice, I like that. You do that and Laika and Corbin, you see these birds dive towards them but then they just disappear. Except you are on ground level so you can see them below the illusory snow. But the birds don't seem to get it and they turn upwards again and fly in the other direction. 

Noel: And then as we continue to move, with the birds overhead, I’ll continue to use Minor Image to continue—to cover as much of us as possible.

Kat: Is it like an umbrella?

Noel: Yeah. 

Kat: Is it like a Mary Poppins snow umbrella?

Noel: Yes it’s just like that. 

Sophia: That’s cute. 

Kat: That’s cute. By the time you guys get to this field of boulders, the wind has picked up and the snow is coming down hard. It’s getting dark out and continuing on at this point… I won’t make the decision for you but I’m gonna tell you: It’s gonna make things real difficult. 

Sophia: Is there shelter nearby?

Kat: No. I mean, there’s the boulders.

Noel: Well let’s just go near one of the rocks, then, and I’ll cast Leomund’s Tiny Hut and we can  stay in there. 

Kat: What colour are you making the hut?

Noel: [Singing] Snow coloooured! Camouflage. 

Kat: Nice. During the night, as this storm is raging, the snow starts piling up around your hut. And it starts piling fast. Before any of you have had any chance to get much shut-eye it’s over halfway up the hut. 

Noel: So I can’t actually go out, ‘cause the spell will stop taking effect if I leave. But you guys, since you were in here when I cast it, you can go out and in as you want. 

Kaitlin: Can you have Fran try and tell Laika and Corbin that they have to go shovel snow away but for some reason she doesn’t?

Noel: No that’s a great—that’s a great point. 

[Noel clears her throat]

Fran: So, you guys. I noticed that we’re gonna be buried alive. Just like old times, Corby. 

[Laughter]

Corbin: What was that, Franny?

Fran: I can’t go out there. ‘Cause otherwise this ‘lil hut will straight up disappear but the rest of you… might want to go out and start digging. You can come back in whenever you want. 

Corbin: Did you hear that, Laika? We can come back in whenever we want. 

Sophia: Laika—Laika rolls over ‘cause she’s half asleep and she sits up and she’s just—she’s holding the sling—

[Laughter]

Sophia:—that Fran—that she carried Fran in. And she just looks at Fran and she’s dead in her eyes and she says, 

Laika: Okay. So we gotta go shovel. 

Kat: Gingie says,

Gingie: I can dig! I’m a really good digger!

[Kaitlin and Sophia ‘aw’ at Gingie]

Fran: That’s the spirit!

[Laughter]

Kat: And the Goddess—Maeri—gets up and she signs:

Maeri: I’ll help too. 

Sophia: Laika shakes her head and she says, 

Laika: No, you guys, you stay here. C’mon Corby. 

Sophia: But I think as we leave we give Fran the dirtiest of looks. 

Kaitlin: Yeah. We both give her stink eyes.

Kat: So you guys, you spend the night digging and sleeping in shifts. And it’s—it's rough. I will say that. It is not a fun night for you guys. Except for Fran, who’s safe and warm.

Noel: I don’t sleep, though. ‘Cause I feel bad. But I don’t think that I feel bad. I think that I’m just mad that they're mad at me. 

Kaitlin: Oh yeah, I get it. 

Noel: I’m just like, ‘Two idiots!’.

Kaitlin: I’ve been there. 

Sophia: But it’s a secret guilt. It’s eating you up. 

Noel: Yep.

Kat: The Goddess also doesn't really sleep just because there’s too much activity. Everytime one of you comes back in she tries to get up to go outside to take you place in the digging. 

Sophia: Laika would just tuck her back into bed. Be like,

Laika: No. Shh. 

Sophia: And then give her a stuffed animal to hold and then go back out. 

Kaitlin: Corbin—

Noel: What stuffed animal? Is that just the sling?

[Giggles]

Sophia: Yeah. 

Kaitlin: You’ve crafted it into a little—like origami—folded… bear. 

Sophia: Exactly. It’s actually just shaped like a wad of cloth. But she just pushes it into the Goddess’ hands. 

Kat: This process repeats until mooring and the storm, it subsides. It’s still snowing out but you are able to see ahead of you again and the sun is providing a paltry amount of warmth so that you are able to continue. 

So in front of you guys now, the wind is blowing hard enough that it’s just blowing the fresh snow all around. And it’s difficult ahead of you but you can see, in the distance, the dark outline of the three peaks of Torva’s Jaw. In front of you there is a long field of snow. Just glistening white in the dim sunlight. 

Sophia: Is it beautiful?

Kat: It is beautiful. I am gonna have you guys make some perception checks. 

[Dice rolling]

Sophia: I got a fifteen. 

Kaitlin: I got ten. 

Noel: That’s a nine. 

Kat: Cool. So you guys are heading across the snow and it’s, you know, it’s deep. And it’s pretty rough going but so far there hasn’t been any obstacles. It seems like your footing is pretty sure. I’m gonna have you all make some dex saves

[Dice rolling]

Noel: Oh! What!?

Sophia: I got a fifteen.

Kaitlin: I got a eighteen.

Noel: And I got a four. 

Kat: And the Goddess got a sixteen. [Amused] So it’s just you, Fran. You’re walking across this and, Laika, as you’re passing over it you feel something—it feels kinda off but you just—under your feet—you figure it’s just the powder shifting. Corbin, same thing. It’s shifting under your feet. It seems normal though. And then Fran, you’re feeling ‘Oh, this doesn’t feel terribly stable.’ and then you fall into a crevasse. 

[Laughter]

Kat: Mountains in summer: they’re full of cravasses. 

[Noel gives a resigned sigh]

Kat: I mean, do you cast Feather Fall?

Noel: Yeah. Can I do a reaction to throw the grappling hook?

Kat: Yeah!

Noel: Okay. That’s a fourteen. 

Kat: No. That doesn’t—it doesn't hit anything. You throw it up and it just falls back down. You are able to keep yourself—you cast Feather Fall as soon as you begin to fall but you aren’t able to find a place to land. Above you you see the daylight diminish and then it’s just darkness. 

Sophia: [Disbelieving] How are you falling into nothingness?

Kat: That’s what crevasses are. They’re terrifying. 

Kaitlin: Cast Light to see if you can see—

Noel: Yeah, I cast light. 

Kat: You see around you there is ice walls and—

Kaitlin: I mean, worst case scenario I’ll just fly down there and cast Spider Climb and…

Sophia: Oh! Yeah. 

Noel: Do you wanna do that, then?

Kaitlin: Yeah, okay. I fly down and do a cool wooshy with—like a bird? You know, dives down. 

Sophia: Wings to sides—drop. 

Kaitlin: Yeah. And I… oh I can’t cast. Oh fuck, I just realised something, y’all. [Groans] I can not cast in bird-form. 

Noel: Soooo…

Kaitlin: Which means that I also will be falling. 

[Laughter]

Noel: You can turn back into a boy and grab onto me.

Kaitlin: [Through slight wheezes] So I dive down, alright. And I cling onto the back of your back like a monkey. 

Kat: I’m gonna have to make a strength save. 

Katilin: To see if I can hold onto her while she’s falling? Okay.

[Dice rolling]

Noel: Not falling that fast. 

Kaitlin: That is… twelve.

Kat: N...no. You  try to grab onto Fran but she is also sort of freaking out. And the two of you squirm enough that you are dislodged almost instantly. 

Kaitlin: I turn back into a bird. I try again. 

[Laughter]

Kat: Alright. I’m just gonna say you make it eventually. 

Kaitlin: Okay. 

Kat: If we’re just gonna keep trying again and again. 

Kaitlin: I grab onto Fran like a monkey for the twentieth time and then finally I cast Spider Climb.

Kat: And then you turn back into a bird, I assume. 

Kaitlin: Then I turn back into a bird. And I stay with her to make sure she doesn’t fuckin’ die or whatever. 

Kat: Fran, you are then able to ricochet your way to a wall. 

Noel: Ouch. 

Kaitlin: I push off when I turn back into a bird. 

Kat: Perfect! Corbin pouches you into a wall. 

Noel: Ouch. 

Kat: And you’re able to climb up.  It is cold and it’s difficult and it’s not fun because cravasses are horrifying. [In an entirely too jovial tone] And everytime you look down you look down into an abyss of nothingness that leads, you don’t know, nowhere? Hell? Could be anything. 

[Noel makes a forced ‘Ha ha’ noise that in no way constitutes laughter]

Noel: Crevasse? More like pain-in-my-ass.

Sophia: Good burn. I am hugging Gingie, waiting for them to return.

Kat: The Goddess is holding your hand. 

Sophia: I’m also going to look around the area for rocks. Small rocks that I can just throw ahead to trigger any snow traps. 

Kaitlin: I also, while Fran is climbing, I give her some birdy pep talks to encourage her forward. 

Corbin: [Horrible crow squawk] Karma, bitch! Karma! 

Kat: Jeez, that's very encouraging. 

Noel: I say:

Fran: Shut up, Corbin. I’m going as fast as I can.

Corbin: [Crow ‘Wha!’] Have fun shovelling yourself out of the crevasse! [Crow ‘Wha!’]

Fran: I’m gonna kill you, Corbin. I’m gonna kill you with my bare hands. 

[Corbin does a crow ‘Wha!’]

Kat: Very encouraging. 

Kaitlin: I mimic you. I land—I do a little trick where I claw up the ice a couple times. I’m like:

Corbin: Wha! I saved your life!

Sophia: This is going well. 

Fran: I’m saving your death until we get to the top. 

[Corbin does a crow ‘Wha!’]

Kaitlin: I fly away because I’m scared now. But then I come back because I feel bad for abandoning you. 

Kat: After you make it to the top, Fran—and you get close enough that you’re able to see Laika and Maeri at the top. Maeri immediately, as soon as you’re within reach, she grabs your hand and helps you up the rest of the way. And then she hugs you. Gives you a big hug. 

Noel: Aw. I hug Maeri back. 

Kat: Laika, using your trick of throwing these little pebbles ahead you’re able to navigate a safe path across this valley. And you make it to this last sheer vertical wall. Fran does great with it because she’s still got Spider Climb.

Noel: [Victoriously] Ha hah!

Kat: The other three, it takes you guys a little longer. I’m not gonna have you roll through because—

Kaitlin: I fly. 

Kat: Yeah, Corbin flies. 

Sophia: I say:

Laika: Fran, how about that grappling hook?

[Someone snorts]

Noel: I say:

Fran: No crevasses for me! Ah ha!

[Giggles]

Kat: She’s already gone. 

Sophia: I throw a rock up at you. 

Fran: Um? Ow.

Sophia: I say:

Laika: Grappling hook!

Noel: Am I at the top?

Kat: Yeah you go to the top pretty quickly. 

Noel: Then I go anchor the grappling hook. 

Kat: Alright. You toss it down to them and they climb up the rope. 

Noel: We haul Gingie up. 

Kat: Yeah, and then you haul Gingie up. 

Noel: The whole time I’m helping pull her up I’m like:

Fran: [Through gritted teeth] You couldn’t. Just summon. Your steed. Again. 

Laika: [Not at all apologetic] Spell slot. 

Kat: From the top here, you can see that just beneath you are the three balck peaks of Torva’s Jaw. 

[Music begins playing]

Kat: And you notice, there’s plenty of cover if you guys want to make camp for the night. But otherwise it is a gently rocky slope down. And you notice, because you see that the white snow gives away to this—what first you thought was black rock. But then you realise that it’s snow on these peaks. Something about this area of this area of the mountain is turning the snow black as soon as it hits the ground. 

[Music concludes playing]

Noel: We’re like, crouched. Looking? Like that scene in Wizard of Oz?

Kat: Yes. 

Noel: ‘Kay. 

Kat: You’re looking over the ridge but there is room for you guys to make camp. 

Noel: So basically if we want to take a long rest before we go in… which I think is a good idea. 

Kaitlin: Yes. 

NoeL: I think we should make camp. Make a little but of a plan of attack here. 

Sophia: Do you cast the Hut?

Noel: Yeah, I’ll cast Leomund’s Tiny Hut. Should we have Cor—well maybe we shouldn't have Corbin go scout. 

Kat: Actually, that wouldn’t be a bad idea. 

Noel: I think we should maybe have Corbin go scout before. Maybe you can cast Pass Without A Trace because we’re gonna take a rest. 

Kaitlin: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I’ll do that. I’ll do that. 

Noel: So you don’t get caught. 

Kalitin: So then, yeah. I cast Pass Without A trace on myself. 

Kat: Okay, yeah. Make a stealth roll. 

[Dice rolling]

[‘beautiful owl (Ending Theme)’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) begins playing]

Kaitlin: Twenty-six, I think. 

Kat: Yeah, that’s enough. You slowly circle these three peaks. And you can see in the centre where all three slope together, there is a large circular grate. But other than that there are no buildings. There’s no structures of any kind. 

Kaitlin: Entrencess, or anything?

Kat: No. There's only this large grate. And when you get a little bit closer you can see there’s a stairway going down underneath the grate. 

Kaitlin: How big is the slots of the grate? Could we fit through them? Or is it like, grate-grate. 

Kat: It’s too narrow for you to slip through in human form. 

Kaitlin: Okay. 

Sophia: But in fart form…

[Laughter]

Kat: Well in fart form… in possibly—

Kaitlin: Bird. 

Kat: Yeah, maybe in bird form. 

Noel: Ant.

Kaitlin: Do you guys think I should go investigate in there a little bit? Or no?

Kat: You’re out there on your own. 

Kaitlin: I wanna land on the grate and just look inside. 

[Kat takes a breath]

Kat: Okay—

Kaitlin: [Frantic] I don’t like the way Kat smiled at me when I said that!

Sophia: Oh, trap! Trap! Trap!

Kaitlin: Oh. 

Kat: Nope. As soon as you land on the grate it falls in and you fall into the grate and it closes as soon as you’re under it. 

[‘beautiful owl (Ending Theme)’ - Arc 2: Into Avelis (Soundtrack) swells, continues and then concludes playing]

Kaitlin: You guys, Zarun is my favourite character. 

Noel: We do love Zarun so much.

Sophia: Are you crying?

Kaitlin: I’m crying! 

Noel: You are crying!

Kaitlin: I’m also laugh-crying and I’ve also been awake for two hundred days. 

[Laughter]

Noel: Kaitlin’s crying—

[Kaitlin speaks over the top of Noel]

Kaitlin: I’m very emotional. 

Sophia: Are you crying because you love Zarun?

Kaitlin: Yes. 

[Emotional laughter]

Noel: Kaitlin!

Kaitlin: I’m crying because I love Zarun so much. Sophia! Come back! You’re making me cry harder. 

Sophia: [High pitched] Why are you crying!?

[Outro music]