Dames & Dragons 15. Into Avelis (Part 6)

The city of Danmar: a place dripping with clues about our story, wonders of architecture, and incredibly embittered staff members... The Guardians speak with the professors from Madria, at long last, and then discuss going their separate ways.

✂️ Ep. 15 Outtakes & Extras ✂️ 

  🌎 WEBSITE: legendlark.com
  🔒 PATREON: patreon.com/legendlark
  🛒 STORE: legendlark.store
  🎶 SOUNDTRACK: noelshiri.bandcamp.com
  👍 SOCIAL MEDIA: tumblr // twitter // discord

Transcript

Dames and Dragons

DUNGEON MASTER/NPCs: Kat

FRAN THE WATER GENASI WIZARD is played by Noel

LAIKA THE TIEFLING PALADIN is played by Sophia

CORBIN THE HUMAN DRUID is played by Kaitlin

Dames and Dragons Transcript Episode 15 – Into Avelis (Part 6)

Kaitlin: Once upon a time… when I was but a wee... a wee one, in a car with Noel. 

Noel: A couple of wee wees.

Kaitlin: A couple of wee wees, you could say. 

[Kat cackles]

Kaitlin: We were driving to the Caribou and we saw, upon the ground...

Noel: The most cursed image of all time.

Kaitlin: Truly it was cursed. The face of a moon. Two butt-cheeks, pointing skyward. Completely exposed.

[‘Guardians Theme (Into Avelis)’ from ‘2: Into Avelis (Dames & Dragons Soundtrack)’ beings playing] 

Noel: And where was the man attached to the butt-cheeks, my friend?

Kaitlin: Underneath his vehicle. 

[giggles]

Noel: What was he doing beneath his vehicle?

Kaitlin: His dick was assuredly pressed into the cold, hard concrete. 

Noel: Ah, but it was a hot day!

Kaitlin: You're right, my friend! It was hot concrete.

Kat: [drawn, high-pitched] Noooooooo!

Noel: It was burning. 

Sophia: Pray tell, why would he do such a thing?

Kaitlin: It was a fetish. 

[laughter]

Noel: [through laughter] We can only assume he was having the time of his wretched life. 

[Kat whines like an animal in pain]

Kaitlin: Science does tell us that when all other possibilities have been determined false the whatever remains, no matter how unlikely must be true. 

[the whining continues]

Noel: Must be a fetish.

Kaitlin: It was a fetish.

Sophia: This is a cursed story. 

Kat: This is cursed; lets play dnd.

[Intro Music plays]

Kat: Hi, I'm Kat I'm your DM. 

Kaitlin: I'm Kaitlin. I play Corbin. He's a druid.

[gasps of laughter]

Kaitlin: Level four.

Noel: He’s level five!

Kaitlin: He's level five.

Sophia: Hello, I am Sophia, I play Laika. A tiefling paladin, level five. 

Noel: Hello... I’m Noel and I play Fran. And I have seen cursed images and I have not recovered. But I am at level five and I am a wizard.

Sophia: I thought you we’re at level fourteen, Fran?

Noel: I lost several levels and my life, when I laid eyes on the butt-cheeks of the man in the Caribou parking lot. Caribou is a coffee shop, for those who don’t know, not that it matters.

Kat: So, last time you guys left the Oasis market and were quickly ambushed by a half-buried draco-lich in the deserts outside of the Oasis market. After that, you took a little rest and then you arrived in Danmar. And this is the first city you guys have been to on the world below.

And that is where the scholars from Madria, Sha’s colleagues, are currently working. And you are going to be delivering the Estran books to them. And that's where we are now.

So the four professors have come into the lobby, there's a high elf woman, two humans, a man and a woman and a female gnome. And the high-elf woman, when she hears you guys talking, she says,

High-Elf Woman: Did Sha send you?

Sophia: Does the high elf woman—is she wearing a robe with a bunch of weed symbols on it? Or maybe like a—

[Noel giggles]

Sophia: —a really big bong in her hand?

Kat: Wait hold on a sec. Hey, Soph, come—come here.

Sophia: No you’re gonna hit me. 

Kat: [in a voice that very much suggests she is going to hit her] No I’m not gonna hit you, just lean close—listen… [whispering] go fuck yourself. 

[laughter]

Noel: I loved that joke Sophie.

Sophia: Thank you.

Kat: No, she is wearing what all of them are wearing. Which is: a red sash with the symbol of the University of Madria on it. Which is what Sha was wearing, so you recognise it. And when this woman speaks to you she does speak to you in Ancient Common.

Sophia: And what does she say?

Kat: She said ‘Did Sha send you?’.

Laika: He for-Sha did.

[laughter]

Noel: Fran dies laughing.

Kat: Everyone else looks very confused. Even the high elf woman, she kind of clocks her head. 

High-elf woman: [struggling with the language a little] I… Perchance... it is a... problem with... yon.. Translation, that this jest ‘tis simply… not funny.

[laughter]

Fran: I don't think these guys are cool at all.

Corbin: Yeah I thought it was a great joke. 

Laika: Thanks, these guys seem like a bunch of nerds.

Fran: They’re definitely nerds.

High-elf woman: Uhhh, ahh.

Kat: So, the high elf woman, As you guys are talking, she’s looking—she's losing more and more of her confidence.

[laughter]

Kat: Deflating. She sort of looks at the other professors who are like, giving her some looks. And they're speaking, but you can't understand them and finally she says,

High-elf woman: By what way did you... come to speak yon old tongue-words. 

[laughter]

Noel: Cute.

Kaitlin: Corbin laughs super loud; he thinks that's the funniest, stupidest shit he’s ever heard.

Sophia: Laika sticks out her tongue.

Noel: Fran says,

Fran: Well, I was born and then I learned how to talk. How did you learn to speak your tongue-words, lady?

[laughter]

High-elf woman: Many years... Did I study yon literature of the ancients. Wait, born? You were speaking ancient words?

Laika: Listen, we have books to deliver to you. They're outside the city and our friend she needs to come in so we can deliver these books. I’d rather do that before we get settled, that was our understanding of Sha.

 High-elf woman: Oh ah—

Kat: She turns around and she speaks with her associates. Seems to be filling them in and the gnome woman, her eyes get huge. It's just like, kind of even uncomfortably large. She's looking at the four of you and then she just runs. She's just out the door. She's just running.

Kaitlin: Going to get those books.

[laughter]

Sophia: Nerrrrd.

Kaitlin: Fuckin’ nerds.

Kat: The human male, goes after her.

[someone says ‘cute’]

Kat: And, the high-elf woman, she says,

High-elf woman: Uhh, my work friend…

Corbin: Colleague.

High-elf woman: My colleague—my colleagues will fetch the books and your colleague.

Laika: Friend.

High-elf woman: Friend... and your friend. Uhh, My nom-est is, um.

Corbin: What do you want to nom?

Fran: Namaste.

High-elf woman: Amina! 

Kat: She points to herself.

Amina: I am Amina Halamar Kaio of the University of Madria. 

Kat: And she bows to you. Says, 

Amina: I am.. Professor Sha’s, um, he looks up… things. I—I help him read?

Fran: Research?

Amina: Yes!

Corbin: He can’t read?

Amina: No—yes! 

[laughter] 

Amina: I’m—I’m his research… he—helper?

Fran: Cool. I’m Fran. 

Laika: I’m Danger.

Fran: That’s Laika. 

Laika: Danger…

Fran: That's Laika. 

Amina: Very pleased to meet Danger-Laika.

Corbin: I'm Corbin. I’m a god. 

Kat: She looks at you for a second and then she laughs, she laughs.

Amina: I see! you have made... one joke. Perchance we should retire to... our tea-land for some tea-beverage.

Fran: Yay, tea-land!

Corbin: I definitely thought you said D-land. 

Laika: I also thought you said D-land.

Kat: Well—and that and that makes some sense. Her pronunciation is not very good. Clearly she is not as proficient in ancient common as Sha was.

Amina: We have many we must speak of. This is my coll-eague, Professor Kallia Ross. 

Kat: She turns to the receptionist and says something to him and he groans like, ‘Aruughhhhh.’ and then he—he leaves the entryway. She says, 

Amina: This way! 

Kat: And as you guys are being ushered away, Amina looks and goes,

Amina: Oh and who your friend?

Fran: This is our colleague Maeri. 

Corbin: Speak for yourself she's my friend.

Laika: She's my friend too. But she's normal and not a god, really regular.

Corbin: Yeah, I’m the only one who's a god. 

Laika: Yup. No wait—no.

Fran: I'm also a god.

Corbin: Oh yeah Fran’s a god too.

Amina: You have made many funny jokes.

Kat: Alright so, Amina leads you all down a corridor that's lit with these torches that smell kind of…

Noel: Bad?

Kat: Not—yeah—Not bad. Sour. There’s a very sour smell in the air. And you can tell it's coming from these torches.

Sophia: Oh it’s that high-elf, huh?

[laughter]

Sophia: She's choking’ up. 

Kat: Super dank. 

Sophia: Aw jeez.

Kat: But, hey Sophie? Can you come here for just a second? Can you come here? [whispering aggresivly] Fuck you. 

[laughter]

Kat: And you're seated in this sitting room. There’s a small coffee table, couple of these uncomfortable padded chairs and an uncomfortable padded couch. There is a big painting of an old man, with a really long beard, wearing a blue sash. 

Noel: Does it look like the person that the receptionist was drawing?

Kat: Yes. It does.

[a chorus of ‘Aahhh's and ‘Uh-ohs]

Kat: And he—that’s hanging over a fireplace. Which is lit, even though it is pretty warm in here.

Laika: Oh it’s lit in here. 

Kat: So that is your source of light, along with a couple of candles that they light around the room.

Fran: Spooky in here. 

Kat: Oh, so Amina sits down in one of the chairs and she says,

Amina: . I.. make sorry for... the darkness... the university of… Danmar is…

Fran: Full of ghosts.

Amina: It's not... good. When held next to.... the University of Madria. 

Corbin: Oh I get! You’re shit talking the poor person's University.

Amina: No—

Corbin: No?

Amina: They are not... poor.

Corbin: Highbrow, high elf.

Amina: They just... don't invest in—

Corbin: Okay. 

Amina: Their university. 

Corbin: Oh, right- yeah. Because they can't afford to.

Amina: Danmar is the richest city on this giant.

Corbin: I just came here, I think I know what is going on in the world.

[Noel laughs intensely]

Kat: Amina translates something to her colleague And then she asks ,

Amina: What, uh, world… your land is? That you speak this way?

Fran: Estra! it's... uh...

Noel: I show them a minor illusion of the island.

Kat: Okay. So they—they just burst into excited conversation between themselves. And then, Amina’s face falls and she says,

Amina: Are you the only ones?

Corbin: We sure hope not! We don't know.

Kat: Their excitement tones down a lot. And Amina puts her hands over her mouth and says,

Amina: Oh, I am so, so sorry. 

[various ‘Aw’s]

Amina: We saw the shape fall, from yon.... Celestial-

Fran: The sky. 

Amina: The sky! And heard the ground shake. Forsooth you are from… the fallen land?

Kat: And by the way, while you guys are talking about all this. The Goddess is doing her best to avoid eye contact. 

Sophia: Oh. Embarrassed?

Kat: She seems—yeah. She seems embarrassed, uncomfortable, sad. She doesnt—she’s making herself as small as possible and standing behind you guys. She doesn’t want to engage with this.

Amina: We wonder, if you can tell us how your…. your land fell?

Fran: Well, you ever heard of someone called Torva?

Amina: Of—Of course. 

Fran: What do you think about that? What's your deal with Torva?

Noel: And I stare at her.

Kat: She looks at her colleague and they discuss for a second and then they both sort of look a little annoyed, I guess. 

Noel: Well same. 

Kat: Yeah. 

Amina: Us who are not gods, do not have the privilege and thought of the doings of gods. 

Fran: So do you hate this guy? You can tell us, we won't tell him.

Amina: Well, those who... give praise to Torva... are...bad.

Laika: Who worships Torva? Is it a big population of people on this- in this world?

Amina: Ehhh, it's small...but significant.

Laika: Do you believe that Gods are real? That's a weird question. But, are they very present in your lives?

Amina: Not personally but yes they are real. Your land was made by a god.

Fran: Uh, preportedly. Anyway it was Torva’s doing that knocked us out of the sky, so.

Kat: So she and her colleague, they discuss very hurriedly, very excitedly for a second. And then,

Amina: Perchance you could explain for those…

Kat: And she points to herself and her colleague.

Amina: Who do you God?

Laika: We had a goddess.

Amina: Kai! Uh—I don't not mean to interrupt but it was Kai, correct?

Laika: Uhhhh.

Fran: Maybe? Who’s—can you tell us a little bit more about Kai?

Amina: Hm. Well, my study, that I study, is of those gods we do not have. 

Fran: Like Cernnunos?

Amina: Yes! Cernunnos! Cernunnos, Kai, Fenrir, Munnin, Beleus, Desit. All of these gods are lost. We know very little of Kai except that she brought Estra up. And… defeat—no. Not defeat. Occupy Torva for the past two thousand years. 

Corbin: Do you have Veoni? 

Amina: Well, should you like to know of Veoni, you may visit her temple. Some still attend but not many. She has been silent for many days—no. Day but longer? 

Fran: Years?

Amina: Years. 

Fran: So Amina, one thing that we've noticed since we've been here is, it doesn't seem like people know very much about magic.

Amina: Well, some study the… you—you call magic?

Fran: Yeah, cause that’s what it’s called. 

Amina: Ah, hm.

Sophia: I do thaumaturgy and I make the flames rainbows. 

Noel: [through laughter] Amazing.

Kaitlin: Also, Corbin turns into a… What's he going to turn into? 

Noel: Please… Please make a boar.

Kaitlin and Sophia: Yeah!

Kaitlin:  Corbin turns into a boar, starts running around.

 Noel:  I think Corbin’s always a bore.

Kaitlin: Ayyyy, You set that up! you set me up!

Sophina:  You son of a bitch.

Kat: So—

Noel: And I do a harmless shower of Sparks from my hand… As well. So as soon as she asked us about magic, we’re all like—

[laughter and cross-talk]

Kaitlin:  All just doing it.  

Kat: So the human woman, Kallia, she starts speaking—she is very excited.  Asking you guys questions, that you can't understand. Amina takes a minute to calm her down and then says,

Amina:  My colleague asks to... know... How long you have been blessed by, well… Kai? I—I guess…  it would be. For you.

 Sophia:  I shake my head and I say;

 Laika: Fenrir. 

Amina: [incredibly excited] Oh—Fen—you— Fenrir? I have—I—Many questions! 

[laughter]

Sophia: I say,

Laika:  I am a paladin of Fenrir. So—

Amina:  Does—did—does Fenrir  still live?

Laika: Uhhhh, no. His divinity is in the goddess Kai. So I guess in some ways it is Kai but the oath  I made is to Fenrir specifically.

Corbin:  I was born with it. 

Amina: Uh—

Corbin:  Maybe it's Maybelline. 

Noel: Have people got magic on Estra in all kinds of different ways? Like,  I just… studied.  

Fran: Is that the only way people have magic down here? Being blessed by a god? 

Amina: Yes! Uhh… a  hero’s…. power comes from... the god... that they... Give?  Their life to. I guess. 

 Fran:  Is having magic really uncommon? 

Amina: [surprised] Yes! No one has magic… here. 

Fran: [taken aback] … Oh. 

Amina: Oh, uh. 

Fran: That's not relatable.

Kat:  Amina says;

Amina: Professor Ross has a question for you.

Kat:  And she looks at you Fran. 

Fran: Mmm.

Amina: What… are you?

Fran: Oh, very offended.

Amina: [stammering more than usual] I—apologies. I do not have many words to ask with, but—

 Fran: That's fair. I’m a genasi. 

Kat:  And she translates for her colleague and her colleague looks even more excited.

Amina:  And were there many genasi? 

Noel: I've been meaning to ask you about this, Kat. In my kind of estimation, I would assume that Fran doesn’t know any other water genasi. 

Kat: No. You’ve heard that there have been other genasi. But from what you know- and obviously you don't know a tonne, it happens occasionally. Usually the product of a summoning mage that summons an elemental and falls in love  with it and then they make a baby.

[throughout all of this Noel is ‘mmm’ing studiously]

Noel:  Yep. So I tell her what I know about that.  and I say,

Fran:  I'm once in a lifetime, baby.

[laughter] 

Sophia: Laika  looks over at the Goddess while they're talking about this.

Kat:  She looks kind of uncomfortable.

Laika: Was Kai seen as a power of good? And Torva as evil, then?

Amina: No. No gods are good. Or bad. Gods are what they were created to be. So, to call a god good or to call a god bad is to call the rain good or bad. To call the fire good or bad.

Corbin: Well I don't know about you but I definitely called the fire bad after it burned all my feathers off in my childhood home.

[laughter]

 Fran:  Corbin… Not this shit again. 

Corbin: What?! That's my life, Fran.  

Kaitlin: Also, Corbin wants to put his arm around the Goddess ‘cause he feels bad. 

[lots of little ‘aw’s]

Kaitlin: Giver her a little half hug. 

Kat:  She leans into Corbin a bit.

Laika: We heard that the world below was burned.  That's what our world was told, on Estra. What's happened? How are you guys still alive? We heard that the god destroyed this world.

Amina: That was not the first ending this world had. There have been four endings.  But that one was most bad.  Very most bad.

Fran: This is a very spooky story. 

Corbin: The setting is incredible.

Laika: Endings? What do you mean by endings?

Amina: When gods... fight.

Laika: War. 

Amina: Yes. When gods make war. Four times they have ended this world. But each time some god saves their followers and we rebuild. So when the big bad that Torva made, when he killed Desit, and the fires came, we rebuilt. As we always do. 

Noel: Kat can you remind me what Desit  is the god of again?

Kat: Desit is the flame.

Noel: The flame, okay.

Amina: But Bruva, the thunder. Many, many… Days—uh—y—years!  Many, many years after.  He made an end too. Not as bad an end. Did not take as long  for us to come back.  But it happened. It happens. 

Fran: The world below seems really shitty, you guys.

Kat: The Goddess kinda gives you a look, Fran. 

[giggles]

Laika: Who protects you?  Shouldn’t there be some way to keep these gods in check? Are they always fighting?  And you're just ducking out of the way? 

Amina: Some have fought for mortals... and when they win it is good! 

Fran: Who are the ones that fight for the mortals?

Amina: In the last end, Bruva  was trapped and brought down by Rove and Laliana. Before, when Torva burned all, Desit tried to protect mortals. And Beleus tried to stop as well. 

Noel: And Beleus is the Sword, right?

Kat: Yes, Beleus is the Sword. 

Noel: Well he would want mortals. ‘Cause, what else is he gonna do?

Kat: Yeah.

[laughter]

Kaitlin: Who else is going to use a sword?

Noel: Just like, a bear?

Sophia: A dolphin.

Kat: She takes a moment here. She says;

Amina: Perhaps... You know little of other gods from living under Kai as your only… person  of worship. But here gods fight. Allegiances, they make change. They do not see time as mortals do. And so we cannot know their... goals. Or protect ourselves.

Laika: [groans] 

Sophia: Laika just sits down. This sounds like garbage! Hate this world. 

Noel: I say:

Fran: Well as a god, I think that's a bulshit.

Corbin: I'm ready to kill all the other jerk gods.

Laika: You guys, I think we have a new quest; it's to kill all the gods. Except for the Goddess, she seems okay. 

Corbin: And me and Fran.

Fran: Yeah and us. Please.

Laika: Yeah you guys, will come in handy for killing all gods.  I'm officially at war with every god.

Kat: So Amina translates and Kallia looks like she's going to say something else but the door opens before she can.  And the gnome and human man have come back.  They speak very hurriedly to their colleagues before leaving again. Then Amina stands up and says,

Amina: Your books have come... you are guests but we have few hands. Will you help?

Laika: Uh, yeah.

Fran: Oh yeah, sure.

Corbin: I guess. 

Kat: So you guys head back outside and Nodona has—she's out there with the sled. However the sled has been hooked up to two donkeys and they clearly haven't had the greatest time driving this thing over the paved streets and they look pretty worn out. Nodona is standing by the sled with her arms crossed and looks very uncomfortable.

Sophia: I gesture to the Goddess. Like ‘Check in with her.’ 

Kat: Yeah. So the Goddess goes and she asks;

Maeri: Are you okay?

Kat: And Nodona signs back,

Nodona: Me… city… not… used in.

Kat: You hear Amina  speaking to the gnome woman who she calls Daladanya. And you hear her call the human man Samuel. So Daladanya is like—she keeps grabbing  books off of the sled but she seems to not be able to decide which ones she's going to grab. So she like, grabs one and then runs around to the other side and grabs another.

[Noel ‘mmm’s]

Kat:  And then runs around again and starts cleaning up the stack of books. And is calling them down and taking her rooms and sort of making a basket out of her robes.

Noel: I need to go get my books.

Kat: Yes.

[laughter]

Kat:  You should because Daladanya is just stuffing as many books into her robes as she can.

Noel: Oh no, no, no. I’m like;

Fran: Hey lady, back off my books. 

Noel: And then I go over there and start picking up my own books.

Kat: Right, right.

Noel: And I’m making furious eye contact with her.

Kat:  So actually as you’re  picking up a book, Daladanya reaches for the same book at the same time.

Noel: [aggressively] Uh uh.

Kat: And you both grab it. 

Noel: [even more aggressively] Uh uh!

Kat: I’m gonna have a Strength contest! 

[laughter]

Kaitlin: Oh my god this is just like suburban mums on black friday.

Noel: Uh uh.

[dice roll]

Noel: So that’s a fourteen.

Kat: Oh wow, that is uh—yeah this is a twelve. So you just—

Fran: [aggressive ‘Hrrmnnng’ noise]

Kat: You rip it out of her tiny gnome hands.

Fran:  Not today.

Kaitlin: [a single gasp of laughter] Yikes.

Noel: So I tell Amina to tell this gnome lady that some of these books are mine and they’re not to be taken.

Kat: Okay. Daladanya looks  a little bit disappointed after this has been translated but goes back to the other books that she can grab. 

Noel: Yeah, I point to my eyes and then I point at her.

Kat: So you guys help unload these books into the library. And Amina explains to you guys that they'll be here for a little while in Danmar but that Daladanya and Samuel had explained, the books will be going to Madria ultimately. And Amina tells you guys that this is a good thing because the library here at Danmar is garbage.

Noel: That makes sense.

Kat: Nodona is trying to get these donkeys to turn the sled around and Amina says,

Amina: You all are welcome to the accommodations—of what little accommodations the university of Danmar can offer.

Noel:  These people seem real bitter. 

[laughter]

Amina: You are welcome to stay here—well. Where are you going?

Noel: Let's just check in about our goals here. Because we’re gonna need  to ask them where a bunch of stuff is.

Kat: Yes. So you have reached the city of Danmar.  From here, in order to fulfill your deal with Dawson, you either go to Fang Lake or the Long Castle to get the artefact there to trade to Dawson for the location of the Tower of Wivvil. If you are able to reach the Tower of Wivvil, the god will grant you the gift of language. So you'll be able to bypass the months or years it would take you in order to learn modern common.

Your other goal is to make it to the mountain range known as Torva’s Jaw.  Where Torva has some sort of where we're he is keeping  the shapeshifter form, which Vioni wants you to free for her. And a cloak which hides divinity.

Noel: So I ask them, 

Fran: Do you have a map of this area?

Amina: Oh!

Kat: Amina, she sighs.

Amina: Well the University of Danmar has no good... maps on paper. 

Noel: Jeez Louise.

Amina:  However, they have a... [stammers a bit]...  best I show. 

Fran: [a little distastefully] Alright, cool.

Kat: So you guys follow Her and she leads you down that dark corridor-

Noel:  I am carrying all my books.

[laughter]

Kat:  Fran is now possessively holding her books. 

Sophia:  I help carry some.

Noel: Oh, thank you.

Kat:  Amina leads you to the end of that corridor that you had walked down and it ends in a large dark library. There are more of these sour smelling torches.

Noel: [excited] Oooh! Spooky!

Kat: Spooky dark library. There are shelves here that—they’re not much taller than you, Laika. And all of them are stuffed very haphazardly with scrolls and leather-bound books and nothing here seems to be in super good order or repair.  And Fran, you have that thing where you're able to find your way around a library, right?

Noel: Yes, mmm-hmm. That’s my special ability. 

Kat: You have no idea how you would find anything in here. 

Noel: Oh man.

Kat: It is a goddamn mess. 

Noel: This is upsetting to me.

Kat: And now you can see why perhaps these professors from Madria are a little snobby.  But Amina leads you to  the back of the library where there is a huge stone slab.  On the slab there is a world map that has been carved into the stone. And she takes a piece of parchment from a role that is attached to the table. And there's a little tray with pieces of graphite. She look back at you all and says;

Amina: I apologise, there is... no dignity in this.

Kat: And she hikes up her robes and climbs onto the stone slab. 

[laughter]

Kat: And you can see as she is crawling across at her ribs are getting kind of dark with graphite. But she has—

Fran: Woohoo! Alright!

Kat: She has to crawl to the centre of this table and make a rubbing for you guys of the map of the area. and she gets off of the table and she looks super annoyed. She's dusting her rubs off and she hands you a map showing this area.  And I will show it to you now!

Noel: Woah it-

[a chorus of very enthused ‘Yeah!’s as Kat shows them the map]

Sophia: It’s beautiful!

[Kaitlin makes a ‘Errrrhhhnng’ noise]

Kat: Listeners  following along at home, the map will be posted on our Tumblr.

Noel:  And Facebook. And Twitter.  And patreon. Etcetera.

Kat: So you guys are looking at this map, she takes the piece of graphite and she writes on it and says,

Amina:  We are here. the city of Danmar.

Kat:  And she writes Danmar on the map.

Fran:  Do you know where the Long Castle is?

Amina: Oh yes! That is to the east of here.

Kat:  And she marks it on the map, it is on an island in a bay to the east of where you are.

 Amina:  Is that what you are going?

Fran: Maybe. Do you know where Fang Lake is?

 Amina:  Yes. Fang Lake is in Pogswood. North. Here—

Kat:  And she points to the  mountain range to the north of where you are.

Amina: Is the Farah Mountains.

Fran: And what about Torva’s Jaw?

Kat:  She looks at you for a moment.

Amina:  I hope that you do not intend to go there.

Noel:  I smile really big.

Laika: Why?

Amina: It is a place of much danger. It is a lair of Torva. But it is here. 

Kat: And she points out in the eastern part of the mountains.

Laika:  When you say lair of Torva, do you mean that that's where he chills? 

Amina: It may be a place that he has…. Chilled.  However gods do not spend much time on our plane.

Laika: I think Torva is spending time on our plane. So it could be a trap.

Amina:  If you are determined to go that way, I would  suggest following the Pilgrim’s Trail. Up to the Temple of Iol. From there the Attendants can give you directions.

Sophia:  Which magic artefacts is where, again?

Kat: So at the Long Castle you are asked to retrieve the Braces of the Bull and at Fang Lake you were asked to retrieve the Protectors Blade.

Sophia: I think we should get the Protectors Blade.

Kaitlin: I think it’s—

Noel: Well I think  we should get whatever is closest to Torva’s Jaw. 

[cross talk]

Kaitlin: It would be the—

Sophia: They’re both kind of on the way. 

[cross talk]

Kaitlin:  If we go to the Temple of Iol it would be the Fang Lake, ‘cause  otherwise we would be doing a zig zag. 

Sophia:  May as well go to Fang Lake, Temple of Iol and then Torva’s Jaw. 

Kaitlin:  And then we can come back down once we hit Torva’s Jaw, get that other artefact, keep it for ourselves. 

Sophia: Yeaahh.

Kaitlin: Fuck you, Daniel.

Sophia: … Dawson.

Noel: Fuck you, Danny!

Kaitlin: Fuck you, Dennis!

Noel: Fuck you, Debino.

Kat: Okay.

Amina: Do you need other markings? On your map?

Fran: Will you just label the major cities and what this place is called?  So we can—

Amina: Oh, you would not know! This world—

Kat:  And she points to the larger stone map.

Amina: Is called Avelis. 

Fran: Mmmm.

[snickering]

Noel: Sorry for that reaction. Erhhhh.

[all make a ‘Eerrghh’ noise]

[Kaitlin makes a ‘WaaAHHH’ bird noise]

[weird noises continue for a little bit]

Amina: This large island is Rok. This world has three… large islands. Rok, where we are, Moroon, to the west and Vola to the south. 

Noel: Lets… I don't know. Does the Goddess want to know anything?

Kat: The Goddess, she's been listening.  And she—when you turn to her to see if she wants to know anything, she shakes her head, at first. And then asks, finally—

The Goddess: You said that gods are what they are created to be?  Do you know what Kai was created to be?

Kat:  And Amina shakes her head.

 Amina: [excitedly] No! That is the most fascinating thing of the study of Kai. We have so few stories... all stories we have relate to Torva and their fight. But Kai, what little we know, was human.  So, what was she made to be? That is the question.

[Interlude music start playing]

Noel:  Hello and welcome to this. It’s late at night ‘cause I forgot I had to do it. Firest of all I would like to enthusiastically thank our new Paetreon donors.

That's Sarah, Jonathan, Kyle, Maddie and Leanne, who upgraded her prescription.  We actually hit our goal of $100 a month since last episode and so we released a lore-based RP episode where I play Dessa, who is the daughter of Dessit. It fills in some of the blanks of the time after Torva caused the end of the world.  So if you're interested in that it can be found on our Patreon for three dollars a month. If you want.

[Noel thanks iTunes, discusses an upcoming giveaway, an add for Table Top Babble plays and Loot Crate is sponsoring the show]

And that’s about it from me, but today's message to Chantel is ‘Sam Grafton.’ We’ll never know if the sleeper agent is active because Kat’s not here, but we can hope and we can pray- do-do-do!

[Interlude music plays]

Kat:  After you guys have gotten the books off of the sled and into the library here at Danmar and the professors are starting to sort through what is what and figuring out what they have here, Amina says to you guys;

Amina: It is at the moment, not a good hour of voyages. Due to the heat of the orb. That is in the sky.

Kaitlin: Corbin laughs at her.

Noel: Yeah, so does Fran.

Kat: And she does to just like, 

Amina: [uncomfortable laughs]

Kat:  She does not understand if she's made a joke and she's just sort of laughing. 

Amina:  You should explore the grounds of the stone encampment. 

Fran: The city.

Amina: The city. Yes. You should explore the city, while you have the opportunity. We will prepare horses and travel companions for your backs.

Noel:  Is Nodona there still? Did she leave?

Kat:  No Nodona  is there and she’s sort of very uncomfortable. She's incredibly uncomfortable but she is helping the scholars get things sorted out.

Noel: Ok so, we’ll come back and say goodbye to her after this.

Kat: Sure! The Goddess volunteers to stay behind with them in order—because they can sort of understand her sign language and she can help them sort out what the books are.

 Noel: That's fair.

 Kat: If you would like to explore the city I have an encounters table made up so you can roll a d20 to see what you find in the city. I want to put this out there.

Kaitlin: Kay.

Kat: You can split up I will not try to harm you if you split up.

[laughter]

 Noel: [through wheezes] Thank you Kat. Yeah let's split up

Kaitlin: Run each down a different road.

Sophia: Yeah.

 Noel: We're gonna meet back here in an hour.

Kat: So you all split up? So roll 20 and add your perception.

[dice roll]

Kaitlin:  That's a natural twenty.

[several ‘Wow!’s]

Sophia: I got seventeen.

Kat: Okay.

 Noel: I got six.

Kat: Cool, cool, cool.

Noel: Fran is very distracted right now.

Sophia: It's a lot of water.

Kaitlin: She just keeps coming back to the ocean.

Kat: So, Laika and Corbin. You take off in different directions but you end up in the same place. And you're walking down different streets and looking around. Like, ‘Oh! look at that guy .’ And Corbin's like,

[in a Corbin impression]

Kat: ‘Oh, look at all the crows…’ So you guys just run smack into each other.

Sophia: I looked at Corbin and I say,

Laika:  Same place.

Corbin: Same place!

Kat:  So as you guys are sort of sorting out, ‘Oh, we’ve run into each other wow.’ You hear just this cacophonous screeching.  And you turn and you see this big wooden structure with all these little square holes in it. And out of each of those holes there is a hawk. And they're coming and going, except they all stop to scream at Corbin.

Kaitlin: Yeah-heh-heh.

Sophia: It’s a rookery!

Kat: It’s a rookery! You’re right!

Noel: Can they understand anything from the hawks? Or are they not intelligent enough.

Kat: The hawks are not intelligent enough to be making any sort of sense to you guys. You do get a very potent sense of enemy. Is what they're screaming. Something that sort of invokes that sense.

Kaitlin: At us?

Kat: Yeah. At Corbin specifically.

Noel: Oh.

Corbin: These guys are jackasses no matter where you go.

Laika: They don't seem to like you much.

Corbin:  Yeah I know! They try to chase us out of the trees! They’re just dicks.

Laika:  Are you an egg stealer?

Corbin: No! They—Them!

Kat:  So Corbin, you point up at the hawks saying, ‘They’re egg stealers.’ And  one of them hops off his perch and it dives at you.

Kaitlin: Oh, I scream at it.

Kat: Does a nineteen hit your AC?

Kaitlin: Oh Jesus, this is like a demon hawk. 

Kat:  Yeah, it dives down at you and it grabs your hair with its talons. 

Kaitlin: [very offended] Oh!

Kat: And it just sort of pulls at your hair and flies past. You don't take any damage from it but it hurts. 

Kaitlin: I scream at it again very angrily. 

Kat: Yeah, and as you're screaming at it another one flies off its perch. Does a fifteen hit?

Kaitlin: God, yeah. Barely.

Kat: Yeah this one—it actually—it goes for your boob window.

[Kaitlin gasps very offendedly]

Kat: And—

Kaitlin: My nip!

Kat: Yeah. It scratches your nip with its talons.

Kaitlin: I scream in pain!

Kat: And let's see- and then... This one, it goes for your face. Both talons out. But then it takes a second and it dives up over you. And it flies over a structure that is across the street. And you turned to look at that structure across the street and its ruins. It's a ruined stone building and there is nothing around it.

Noel:  You guys better not go in there.

Laika: Let's go!

Corbin: Let's go in!

Laika:  Yeah! Maybe there's eggs there, we can steal ‘em. 

Kat: So you guys head into this temple. And as you are going towards it, Corbin, more of these hawks are starting to dive towards you but they won't cross the threshold of the building. So as soon as you are there they start to just part and they fly around it.

I keep calling it a building but it's really very little more than a burnt out stoned husk. Several of the walls have crumbled. There are columns on either side of the doorway but one of the columns has fallen over and is making a diagonal blockade in front of the door. When you walk inside there is a burned alter and you're starting to gather that it’s a temple.

And there is a symbol. A relief sculpture of a symbol. Three crossed shovels in a field of red on the back wall. I'm going to have you roll religion checks. See if you know what it is.

Sophia: Aw jeez.

Kaitlin: I got a fourteen. 

Sophia: I got a five. 

Kat: Okay. Corbin, you recognise it. Though it seems a little different than what you remember from your teachings in the Crow clan. But that is the symbol of Vioni. 

[surprised ‘Oh!’]

Kaitlin: Let’s investigate then. 

Sophia: Sixteen.

Kaitlin: Yeah, I did not get that much, so.

Kat: Okay. You don't find anything but that is what is suspicious. And where you guys are standing now, there is nothing growing here. You would expect from the relative age that you can kind of see from these ruins, that maybe some sort of plant life would be here or maybe some animal will take up residence. But there is nothing. And you feel like, this is a temple, there should be something here. Even though it's been burnt there should be—even just a cup. Or a scrap of paper. There should be something. But there is nothing left in this temple. At some point it was cleared out.

Kaitlin:  Alright. I yell into the temple:

Corbin:  What's up ghosts? If you can hear me move a brick!

Kat:  Nothing happens.

Kaitlin: Damn. 

Sophia: I... am not paying attention because I failed my religion check. So I just think that this is a cool place to do parkour. So I'm jumping off stuff.

Corbin: Laika, this is a temple for Vioni. 

Laika: Ooh…

Corbin: Yeah.

Sophia: I do a backflip.

Kat: I'm going to have you make an acrobatics check for that backflip.

Sophia: Ok. Uh… fail. Wait! Can I do a cool Dex save? And make it land cool at least?

Kat: Try.

Kaitlin: Do the worm when you land. 

Sophia: Yeah. I failed. 

Kat: Right. So you land flat on your back. And you are staring up at this relief carving of the symbol of Vioni that is above you. And the wall above you crumbles and the symbol falls onto you. And you take… you take two damage. It's not a tonne of rubble. It hurts a bit but you're able to push it off.

Corbin: Bad omen.

Laika: Bad omen.

Sophia: I’m gonna open up my divine sense.

Kaitlin: Yeah good idea.

Kat: So with your divine sense, it feels muddled. Like there is something very evil here but something else is trying to get through.

Sophia: Whaaaaat?! Oh because Torva’s possessed—

Noel: This place is desecrated then?

Kat: Yes! actually yes, that is what you get the feeling off. Is that this place has been desecrated.

Sophia: Is there a table for offerings? Like, a spot?

Kat: Yeah there’s a alter.

Sophia: I will leave... what do I have that I could leave? Do I have any snacks on me?

Kat: You've got rations.

Sophia: I’ll leave a piece of my hair. And—

Noel: That's a bad idea.

[laughter]

Kat: It's already happened. 

Kaitlin: Oh no! This is perfect, I need a reason to conform my current character design to exactly what Hannah Culbert drew because it's so much better than mine, so Corbin cuts all his hair off.

[laughter]

Kaitlin: And now he has sweet, like, whatever Hannah’s cool like, short hair, quaffed back. Beautiful design, is now what it looks like.

Sophia: Wait can Laika help style it?

Kaitlin: Yeah, yeah please help me style it.

Sophia: Laika spits in both her hands and slicks it back. And is like,

Laika: It’s a cool look.

Corbin: Thank you.

Kat: [slightly affronted] So you guys just leave a bunch of hair?

Kaitlin and Sophia: Yeah!

Kat: On the altar of Vioni. 

Sophia: Birds can make nests out of it.

Kaitlin: I leave a significant amount of my hair.

Kat: Okay.

Noel:  Birds specifically don’t go in there.

Sophia: Maybe Crows do.

Kaitlin: Yeah, my brethren will be helped by our offering.

Kat: Well actually, as you put all this hair on the altar it turns to black ash. 

Corbin: Good omen!

Sophia: I take some of the ash. 

Kaitlin: Oh yeah, that’s a good idea. 

Kat: Alright. 

Sophia: There's nothing else here?

Kat: No.

Sophia: We leave. 

Kat: Alright. Well then we’re gonna go over to Fran. And Fran, what did you roll again?

Noel: A six. 

Kat: Cool, cool, cool.  So Fran,as you are wandering around the city, you hear all these Hawks screeching.

Noel: Mmm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Kat:  And you say to yourself; ‘That sounds weird!’ and you walk the other way.

Noel: Yeah.

Kat: And as you're walking you find yourself in that fancy district. And as you round the corner you find yourself at a temple of a very different sort. This one has a huge statue of a woman standing above the doorway, with her hands held out and water pouring out of each of her hands.

Noel: Hah! 

Kat: Yeah. So there's these waterfalls that are falling on either side of the doorway and people are walking in as balls are tolling above the temple.

Noel: Okay. Then I'm gonna do what they're doing and go inside.

Kat: Inside you see we're all of the water from her hands is flowing to. It's flowing through these shallow canals that run throughout this temple. And there's another statue of the same woman up at the front of the temple. Only instead of a door between her hands there is an altar. And it is just heaped with gifts. There is money, there's food, clothing, flowers. There are notes that people have folded and set at the foot of this altar.

Sophia: Are people noticing that Fran is literally a water woman?

Noel: Yeah.

Kat: Make a perception check.

Noel: Yeah that’s a seven.

Kat: You don't notice anybody acting any different towards you, except for a few temple attendants. They are staring at you very intently.

Noel: Mm. Did you say that there are altars?

Kat: Yes. There’s an altar at the front of the temple.

Noel: Okay. So I go up there and I chop all my hair off.

Kat: How does that work?

Noel: I basically just water-bend it away from my head. It just falls and is water.

Kat: So, do you put in a vessel of any kind?

Noel:  No just all over everybody’s stuff.

[laughter] 

Kat:  There is an audible gasp from the temple. And then a lot of hushed whispers but nobody says anything to you. No one interacts with you in any way.

Noel: Ok so they just look—what do they look like? Scared?

Kat: They look concerned.

Noel: Okay. So that's cool. I just shoot everybody finger guns and roll on out. So I'm bald again now. I don't know. I'm not gonna steal water from this—actually you know what? Okay.

On my way out I'm gonna stick my head under that lady's hand and when I pull my head out—what hairstyle should I have?

Sophia: Buns!

Noel: Two buns?

Sophia: Yeah!

Kaitlin: Sailor Moon. 

Noel: Yeah, when I pull my head out I have Sailor Moon style, meatball buns. 

Kaitlin: Yes!

Sophia: Meatball!

Katlin:  Do you have the ponytail?

Noel: Yeah.

Katlin: Coming down to—

Noel: Oh yeah. The long—

Kaitlin: Oh good.

Noel: The long ponies.

Kat: Love it. Love it. Alright, so you guys, if you would like to roll again and see what else you can find in the city you can. Otherwise you can head back to the university to collect the Goddess and whatever the professors have prepared for you.

Sophia: Let’s go back. I feel like we should get a move on to our quest.

Kaitlin: Yeah. I think so too.

Kat: Aright. So you guys—you meet back up at the university after your little time wandering around the city. And by this time—by the time you get back—it’s late afternoon. Or it's a little bit past late afternoon; the sun is starting to set. The hottest part of the day is past. And when you get back there, there are horses. Three horses. Which—have you guys seen horses yet?

[cross talk]

Noel: Only camels!

Kaitlin: We’ve seen a donkey, so.

Kat: You’ve seen a donkey.

Katlin: Yeah.

Kat:  So this is—

Noel: A smooth donkey.

Sophia: [at the same time as Noel] Can you turn into one?

Kaitlin: I know every animal weve ever seen.

[giggles]

Kaitlin: Also, I want to animal handle one of the horses.

[dice roll]

Kaitlin: Oh, way above twenty.

Kat: Okay great. You are able to turn into a horse now. You understand how horses work. You even—from that—because you got above a twenty, you're able to even stare into this creature's eyes and know it's name.

Kaitlin: [gasps] What's its name?

Kat: So the horse that you have claimed, I guess, his name... is…

[whispering]

Kat: The Rock.

[Kaitlin gasps for a dramatically long time]

Sophia: Oh my god.

Kat: So yeah. The horse is—its light brown, incredibly muscular. Strangely, no mane. But a beautiful tail.

[laughter]

Kaitlin: I love him. I pat his muzzle affectionately.

Kat: Yes. So as you are recovering from learning this horse, Amina comes up and says,

Amina: Oh! you have found the… noble beasts. 

Kat: And she points to Dwayne ‘The Rock’ ‘The Horse’ Johnson. 

Amina: This is Sugarcube!

Corbin: [distraught] That’s not his name!

Kat: She sort of looks at you and then just moves on.

Amina: And this one is for you, Fran, her name is Butterscotch!

Kat: And she points to the last one and says, 

Amina: And for you, this one is Rochester.

Kat: And Laika, you look at this horse. And this horse looks back at you. And you look at this horse. And this horse puts it's head down. And charges directly at you. Make a Dexterity saving throw.

Sophia: I failed critically. I died. I’ve killed my horse.

Kat: Yeah so, this horse, it hits you straight on for… it only does one damage but you are knocked prone. And Amina, she is very confused.

Amina: I do not know why it would react in such a way.

Sophia: I'm gonna stand up.

Amina: It is a gentle, noble beast.

Fran: Does it hate wolves?

Amina: I'm sorry, I don't know that word.

Fran: Uhh…

Sophia:  Laika points to a drawing on her armour. 

Corbin: Big dogs.

Amina:  It would not like predators, no. I—we can find you another mount, should you need one.

Laika: Oh I—ride a ho—no. I thought that this was just a cool dude who was coming with us. I already have a mount. I don't need this.

[laughter]

Amina: Oh, well—good, good. 

Kat: And the Goddess comes out of the university now. And she comes down the steps and she signs to you guys,

Maeri: Oh, you’ve found the big things.

Laika: This one's named Knuckle-Fart, he's yours. 

Kat: The Goddess takes the horse's reins. So Amina says,

Amina: Now would be the ideal time to depart. For the day grows short and the night will bring a coolness to your travels.

Corbin: I love cool travels.

Noel: Fran takes everybody's stuff and puts it on her horse. 

Kat: Just everybody’s?

Noel: Yeah.

Kat: So you guys are—you're packing up your stuff and Fran loads up the things. And the four Madria scholars are out on the steps and Nodona comes up behind them as well, although she stays a little bit behind them, sticking very close to the doorway of the university. And Amina says to you all,

Amina: We all wish you the greatest of luck on your forthcoming adventures. When you find the city of Madria, please come see us and we will tell you of what we have been able to learn from your generous donation.

Kat: The Goddess bows to Amina and signs: ‘Thank you.’

Noel: So I walk up to Nodona and I grab her aggressively by the back of the head. And then softly touch my forehead to her's.

Kat: She seems very touched by this.

Noel: Aw that’s nice. And I wave.

Sophia: Laika cries a single tear cause that’s beautiful.

Kaitlin: Yeah. Corbin tries to do the same thing but his weak hands can barely grasp her thick muscley neck.

Kat: Yeah when you try to do this to say thanks to her, she just headbutts you. Because she's expecting a lot more strength from you.

Kaitlin: Right, right. 

Kat: And you're not able to hold her back. Which you kind of understand now, why say do this in the way that they do. Because what they're trying to do is hold each other back. And you just aren't able to do that, so she full on headbutts you. 

Sophia: I give her a piece of my hair as a parting gift.

Kat: Why do you keep giving people your hair?

Sophia: They—it's a good gift—they need it. Is the receptionist there?

Kat: No he has not come out.

Sophia:  Before we leave I go back to the receptionist. And I've drawn him on a scrap of paper, like a leaf or something, a picture of that guy farting a huge fart. And it says, like, ‘Nerd.’ On it. 

[laughter]

Kat: He laughs.

Sophia: I say goodbye and try to do the orc goodbye to him, with the headbutt.

Kat: Oh he freaks out. He scrambles away from you. And gives you a wave from afar.

Sophia: Cool, I leave. 

Kat: Alright, are you guys ready to leave this desert town behind?

Sophia: Yeah, lets go.

Kaitlin: Won't Sophie have to run behind us through the city. 

Sophia: I like it.

Kaitlin: Cuz she—Ginge and Zerune are outside.

Noel: I mean we’re just walking. I'm walking beside my horse.

Kaitlin: Oh okay.

Noel: Because it’s like covered in stuff.

Kaitlin: I'm riding—I'm riding my horse.

Noel: Alright, that's fine.

[cross talk]

Sophia: [to Kaitlin] I want to chase after your horse.

Kaitlin: Ok, I gallop ahead. We're having fun, me and The Rock.

Sophia: I chase after you because I don't understand what's happening, like a dog.

Kat: The Goddess- the Goddess gets on her horse. And walks along beside you Fran, like a normal human being.

Noel: Cool. Frans getting very twitchy by the way.

Sophia: Why?

Kaitlin: Aw they’ve planned something

Kat: The Goddess does not seem to notice.

Sophia: I wanna roll.

Noel: You’re not near me. 

Sophia: I’ll roll when we’re in the desert!

Kaitlin: I’ll roll too. 

Kat:  You guys are not anywhere near, so. 

Sophia: Well we're gonna wait for them to catch up.

Kaitlin: Oh yeah. We’ll wait for them.

Kat: Actually yeah, you have to wait because at the gate heading back to where you left your wolves, there is a long line to get out of the city now.

Noel: So we're going to get in line?

Kat: Yeah, you’re in line to get out of the city.

Noel: Okay. So as we’re waiting in line, Fran pulls out the bandolier that she and Corbin traded for that land shark bone. And she asks for the Goddess’ knife.

Kat: The Goddess gives Fran her knife.

Noel:  Okay, and France starts cutting in apart. And she does not look great.

Kaitlin: Wait, cutting the bandolier apart?

Noel: Yeah. She's cutting it down the middle.

Kaitlin: Oh. right, right. 

Noel: As we said, so we can share it. And she says,

Fran: I know—I’m sorry we never got the chance to both wear this at the same time, like that cool joke. But I guess this is the way this has to be.

Noel:  And she just keeps cutting it.

Corbin: Wh—What are you talking about?

Fran: Well you have to take your part and I have to take my part. And you guys have everything you need right?

Corbin: No! You're not leaving!

[laughter]

Corbin: No!

Fran: What—Well of course—I told you this is my home, with the fish.

Corbin: No!

Laika: Fran, no, thats—

Corbin: Fran, no it's not happening.

Laika: Fran, I found a home here in a life of crime and I'm putting that behind.

Corbin: Me too.

Fran: I think—listen. It’d be really awkward if I just left all my new fish friends. They would miss me a lot, they want to make me their president. So, I think I have to stay.

Corbin: Fran, they’re fish. I can talk to animals, kind of, they’re not smart.

Fran: You guys will be better off without me. It's fine.

Corbin: I think you definitely have the strongest spells out of anybody  on the team, so we're definitely going to die.

Fran: Oh, come on. Laika, Corbin and Maeri, it’s like a cool seventies band.

Corbin: No!

Laika: Yeah, and Fran’s the lead singer. 

Corbin: I will cry!

Fran: You always cry!

Corbin: I’ll really do it this time!

Kat: Them Goddess, actually, she waves for your silence. And she gets off a horse and she signs,

Maeri: This actually brings up something that I’ve wanted to tell you all. I release you from my service. 

Corbin: That's cool, I'm still going to work for you.

[laughter]

Sophia: Yeah, Laika laughs. She’s just laughing hysterically and then she just lays on the ground catatonic. She’s not moving, she’s having a panic attack.

Noel: I point at the Goddess and I'm like,

Fran: Maeri, I feel like we really get each other. 

Kat: The Goddess—the Goddess, she helps you back up.

Sophia: Laika goes limp and she purposefully refuses and she glaring up at the Goddess. 

Kat: The Goddess lets you fall back down and she signs: 

Maeri: There is no Estra.   is fulfilled. I cannot ask you to continue to risk your lives for me.

Laika: Let me just explain. Estra has fallen and everything I know and love is gone except for Gingie and you three huge nerds. So if you release me from my service and we all go our separate ways, I literally have no purpose in life and all my training goes out the window.

Corbin: Ditto.

Laika: So! That's not gonna happen. 

Noel: As Laika says this, Fran takes out Alonia’s necklace. 

Corbin: [gasps dramatically]

Noel: And she says, obviously not to the Goddess,

Fran: Do you remember when we found this?

Laika: Yeah.

Corbin: Yeah.

Fran: So, those clothes were probably Cordelia's, right?  It was- it was in the waterfall cave?

Laika: Yeah, they smelled of bread mould. 

Cobin: [makes a grossed out noise]

Fran: Right. I've seen this necklace before. It belonged to my mentor, Alonia. And when I investigated the magic on it, it was meant to instill permanence. So, I think it must have been what Tova used to keep the form of Cordelia. And I guess Alonia too. 

I don’t—I don’t think either of you really knows what it means to be a water elemental separated from the planet by a couple miles of air. And I don’t think anybody really got it. 

I thought that Alonia did. It’s like, there's always this open wound and this whole time I was born to protect the place and protect the person who was doing this to me. But Alonia let me train in my own way, she gave me days off when I needed to just sit in the lake. And looking back, maybe it wasn’t because she really understood. Maybe she just didn't want me to be ready when the time came.

The last time I saw Cecelia, she said that we were good choices. And I don't see how they could have chosen someone worse to be a Guardian than me. So—

Corbin: Disagree!

Fran: Whatever we were chosen for, I don’t think it was to stop any of this from happening. And I don’t know how long Torva was my mentor, I don't know if he killed Alonia. I don't know if she ever even existed and I don't know why he took interest in me in particular and neither do you. 

Kat: So the Goddess, she signs,

Maeri: I can’t imagine how hard this has been for you. 

Kat: And she looks at Laika and Corbin. 

Maeri: I can’t imagine how hard this has been for all of you. And I don't blame you for wanting to leave but I can say that, if there is a meaning for all of what has happened to us we will not find it by staying here.

Noel: Fran finishes cutting the bandolier. 

Laika: If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the wolves, it’s that you always stay together. You always defend your pack. 

Corbin: Yeah that’s true for crows too! You think one crow could chase off a giant hawk? No, no! It's got to be five- six? Crows. At least. Hawks are big.

Fran: A whole murder.

Corbin: Yeah! [vehemtely] And we’re gonna murder the gods!  

Sophia: I put my hand in and I say,

Laika: Murder the gods.

Kaitlin: I also put my hand in,

Laika: Except for the Goddess.

Corbin: Except for the Goddess. Who is an honorary mortal. 

Kat: The Goddess, she turns back to Fran and says, 

Maeri: Again, I will not ask you to come with us. But I will tell you that it would be nice to have friends in this strange world. 

Kat: And she puts her hand in then.

Noel: All this talk of friendship. Fran, she does not put her hand in. But she grabs all you guys in a group hug. 

[everybody ‘aw’s]

Noel: And her eyes have been welling up with tears and she says,

Fran: It’s really hot out here, I’m sweating from my face. 

[laughter]

Katiin: Corbin also immediately bursts into tears because he's a sympathetic crier. 

Fran: I knew you were gonna cry!

Sophia: Laika also starts crying. 

Kat: The Goddess is also crying. Everybody’s just crying. And then you hear people yelling from behind you and you look and you realise the line has moved forward quite a bit while you have been talking and you guys have not moved with it. 

Sophia: I shake my fist at them and then I move forward. 

Noel: Yeah We all go forward.

Kaitlin: Yeah. 

[outro music]

Noel: Nice one, Sophie. 

Sophia: Thaaaanks. 

Kat: Guys why are you laughing when I say a thing and then saying ‘Nice one, Sophie.’?

[laughter]

Kat: I made the joke! I made it funny, damn it! 

Noel: Nice one Sophie! 

Kaitlin: Good job Sophie, yeah!

Sophia: Thaaaanks! 

Kat: None of you appreciate anything I do for you. 

[laughter]

Kat: Whenever you guys go to a sitting room and sit down and start.

[end]